December 2015

CEO Leadership: What Are You?

CEO Leadership: What Are You? - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE

I’m not talking about your title. You worked hard to get the big chair and have CEO or President after your name.

That’s your role or function or authority, but that doesn’t tell us what you are.

Harold Geneen (ITT) was a tyrant. Brilliant, but still a tyrant.

Donald Trump (TRUMP)  is an autocrat. He’s running for President and gaining popularity, but he micromanages his business.

Steve Jobs (APPLE) was a dictator. Genius in many ways, but dictatorial always.

Bill Gates (MICROSOFT) is a combustible brainiac. He scored 1590 out of a possible 1600 on his SAT’s. Nobody can question his brainpower. Gates is a brilliant strategist willing to shout down anybody who gets in his way. It’s likely easier when you know you’re the smartest guy in the room, literally.

Larry Page (GOOGLE) is low key, likable and intense. He’ll make everybody “most loved CEO” list every time.

Jeff Bezos (AMAZON) largely ignores Wall Street with a maniacal intensity on customer service. It’s also why he’s among the top 20 richest people on the planet. The stock just continues to go higher!

What are you?

Just look at what you do. Look closely at your behavior. Examine how you communicate.

It’s the last day of 2015 and time to look more closely in the mirror than ever before. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but so you can better understand what’s showing up in your work.

Employees, vendors, partners, customers. They’ve all got you pegged. It’s not based on your PR campaign or advertising budget. It’s based on how you show up every single day. It’s based on how you act, how you speak, how you write, how you react, how you confront and how you lead. In short, it’s based on how you manage the work and how you lead people.

Make this the year to be what you want to be — what your company needs you to be.

Happy New Year!

Randy

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LEADERSHIP: The Cost Of Complacency (And An Offer For A 90-Minute ONE BIG THING Coaching Session) - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 293

293 Leadership: The Cost Of Complacency

LEADERSHIP: The Cost Of Complacency (And An Offer For A 90-Minute ONE BIG THING Coaching Session) - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 293

That poor proverbial frog in the pan of water that is growing hotter and hotter. All the while the frog is unaware of his fatal decision to sit put. It’s a universal story of the dangers of lethargy and complacency.

I’m rather sure that a frog’s brain is mostly based on instincts and not thoughtful intention. Sadly, humans sometimes act no wiser than frogs. Except our instincts can often be based on our own head trash, our own past experiences and our world view. If a frog can get it wrong, then how much more can we get it wrong? WAY WRONG.

We hear the proverb of the frog sitting in a pan of water that is slowing growing hotter and hotter…and we think, “Jump! Just jump!” How hard can it be to leap out of the pan and save your life?

It’s a 2-pronged issue: a) how hard is it physically? and b) how hard is it mentally? Both prongs are aimed at why the frog just sits there, risking life. Sure death is coming and we can all see it coming a million miles away.

It’s not physical. We assume the frog is healthy enough to leap high enough to get out of the pan. Even if he’s not, we’re frustrated by his lack of effort. If he’s going to boil to death, it’s got to be better to go out leaping than sitting there like…well, like a frog on a stump! But he just sits there letting his body temperature soar with the temperature of the water.

It must be mental. Poor frog needs a bigger brain. Poor humans may need a smaller brain — one that won’t get in our way. The frog’s issue — or so we’re told — is partly physical though. So is ours! The frog acclimates himself to his surroundings. He’s not aware enough to fully comprehend the risk to his life. The whole point of the proverb is that the frog’s environment is changing so slowly he’s unaware of the risk. That’s physical.

Your surroundings can do the same to you. They can change poorly, yet so slowly that you’re unaware how the changes can put you at risk.

Is that really the point though?

It could be. Doing something is often better than doing nothing. Being aware far more important than being unaware.

Today it’s about complacency, lethargy, sitting in the pan doing nothing. It’s about hoping, wishing and dreaming versus thinking, doing, acting. It’s about sitting still versus leaping!

I know, I know. You’re a CEO, COO or some other top leader of an organization. I get it more than you know because I’ve spent my life – well, most of it – sitting right where you’re now sitting. Yes, it’s that seat where the buck stops! These days for me, it’s business leaders and city government leaders. Those are the folks I serve. They’re the only people I serve because like you, I’m a finite resource. And I’m picky about how I spend my days and who I spend my days with. About six years ago I got intensely focused on maximum impact. That’s important…not because of me, but because of today’s show topic: complacency.

Complacency Isn’t The Sole Domain Of Low Achievers

Top leaders who have slogged their way to the executive suite can succumb to complacency just like everybody else — maybe more so because the risks get higher (and the air thinner). Those brave acts of courage that got us the top job can wane as we realize we’re now flying much higher and the fall could kill us.

Complacency in the top leader may look different than what you have in mind. It’s not inaction. It’s not lethargy. It’s mostly manifested in status quo. We keep doing what we’ve always done because what we’ve done got us here! Just look around. We’re sitting in the corner office with income that we never honestly thought possible. Our list of perks is fairly extensive. Maybe we were named the CEO months ago. Maybe we’ve been the CEO for years. Isn’t it funny how little time it takes to get acclimated? You feel it, don’t you? In one fell swoop we’ve gone from self-doubt to a level of self-assuredness that we’re bulletproof.

But Fears Don’t Die So Easily

I’ve spent countless hours through the years sitting across from top leaders to know that titles and authority don’t overcome fears. The CEO with millions of dollars of resources at her disposal…or the city government leader with a 9-digit annual budget often has amplified fears because the responsibilities and authority make each decision more impactful on the organization. It’s perfectly logical. Top leaders have the authority to make decisions that could (emphasis on “could”) negatively impact the organization. A lower level leader has limited authority. He may make a foolish decision. The fall out on that decision isn’t going to jeopardize the business because he’s not able to make such decisions. But the top leader can. That puts far more pressure on the top leader to get it right.

Enter the elephant in the room – doing nothing often seems safer than doing something. That’s why leaders often find themselves in saying, “No.” Somebody brings an idea. The room debates the idea. Some are in favor of it. Others are opposed. Both sides seem to have thoughtful responses. Now it’s up to you. What do you do? The safe thing is to avoid moving forward with some new idea. Well, it feels like the safe thing to do, but it may well be the deadliest thing you could do. Say hello to complacency!

The Slumped-Shoulder-Shuffle

Earlier in the year – this year of 2015 – I started using that phrase: the slumped-shoulder-shuffle. We’ve all done it. We slump our shoulders in a posture of defeat. We stop picking up our feet and shuffle. Often times it’s coupled with a heavy sigh when people speak to us. We’re defeated. Life sucks. It’d be better if our wildest dreams would just come true. Sadly, the universe hasn’t answered the call to give us what we want. Like the frog we stop thinking and reacting properly. We just sit still.

Sitting still is the whole point of the frog story. It doesn’t mean that sitting still to think through an issue isn’t often warranted. It does mean that we can’t stay at that point forever. There comes a time when it’s time to jump. Time to move. Time to act.

Last January I was sitting in front of a CEO who was facing a common issue – considering a bit of a reorganization. He had some people he felt were now in the wrong places, doing the wrong jobs. He was also concerned about the company’s culture and the impact changes might have to disrupt the parts of the company he felt were working well. “How long have you been thinking about this?” I asked. “Since last August,” he said. This wasn’t a timid leader. He was extremely innovative, intelligent and thoughtful. In fact, he prided himself on freely embracing change and all signs indicated he did embrace change. It seemed awfully out of character for this leader to stall a decision, but here he was. Afraid of something. What?

“What steps have you taken so far,” I asked. He proceeded to talk about a number of things he’d actually done to figure out the best solution, and to implement the solution. He hadn’t been sitting by idly doing nothing more than thinking about it. He showed me a diagram and a strategy map created by him and his HR leader. The HR director agreed with him on the moves. They were necessary to shore up a couple of divisions. One division was easier than the other only because it was much smaller — it didn’t have as significant impact on the culture in their estimation. But the CEO wanted to do it all in one step. He wasn’t interested in making one move without the other because he worried about the strain it might put on the culture.

Here we are approaching the 6-month mark of his first meeting with the HR director about his idea. So far, the only progress made? Planning. Weekly, this whole idea consumed him. He labored with it, wondering and fearing what negative impact it may have. As we continued to talk it became clear that he wasn’t moving because things were going “fine” without making a change. The CEO hadn’t yet reached a point where acting seemed necessary. He wasn’t just sitting still in his mind. He was paying close attention, looking for “the right time” to pull the trigger. Today just didn’t seem like the right time. Neither did yesterday. Or the day before. But maybe tomorrow would.

At some point he chuckled, realizing how absurd the whole thing seemed to be, but he admitted his fear. “Am I wrong to be so worried about our company’s culture?” he asked. I’m a big believer in the power of culture. Far be it from me to minimize it, but it wasn’t my job to tell this CEO what he should do, or how he should do it. My job was to coach him to work through the issue so he could figure out how to best serve his company. That’s important because too few professional leaders have experienced coaching to really know what it is and how it works. It’s not a holding forth. It’s not a person sitting in front of you barking at you like a drill sergeant. It’s more like a confidant who can provoke thought, who can hold you accountable and who cares mostly about helping you move forward because their only vested interest is a positive outcome for the person being coached.

The story didn’t end with some breakthrough session where the CEO gained an epiphany because of my brilliant questions or insight. It was a process. It took time. Fear takes time, but sometimes there is a moment of epiphany. It’s the time when my granddaughter removed the training wheels from her bike and within minutes she was peddling without fear. A moment in time where fear vanished and it made all the positive difference in the world. This CEO would have that epiphany, but not today. It would be a few months later…after he’d had time to consider how his own head trash was fooling him into thinking it wasn’t yet time. He needed to come to that conclusion on his own. And he did. Because he’s a high performing. His complacency lasted a bit over 7 months, but that’s not important. What’s important is that he moved past it. Yes, I helped. He’ll tell you it may have likely lasted much longer without my help, but that’s what I do — I help serve leaders so they can go further, faster.

It’s Time

We’re winding down another year. 2015 is just about in the books. For many of you, it’s already in the books as many of you shut down for the final week or so of each year. Just a few months back you were sitting in a conference room with your inner circle planning a new year. Budgets were created after hours and hours of number crunching. Approvals were requested. Some granted. Others rejected. For some of you January 2016 will begin a new fiscal year. For others, it’ll be the final quarter as you race toward a year that ends in March.

What haven’t you done yet?

What initiatives have you not yet started?

What issues are still unresolved as you embark on a new calendar year?

What has stopped you from getting the help you need — the service you deserve?

For the frog, there’s no time like the present. He can jump now or wait. Waiting might be fatal. Even a recognition that the water is growing increasingly hotter may give way to the hope that things will cool off soon. Hope isn’t a strategy, yet many of us behave as though it is. Day after day we hope tomorrow will be a better day for it. Even hard-charging high performing CEO’s can convince themselves that the potential risks of acting today may be higher than putting it off until a more opportune day. Who can fault a leader for looking for, even trying to create, a more opportune time? Nobody. But that’s not always what’s happening. Sometimes it’s procrastination. Thoughtful procrastination is still procrastination. At some level, it’s still complacency. Like all habits, it gets easier to maintain it than to do something different.

Just this week ESPN released an interview with Alabama football coach Nick Saban. In the interview he was asked about the difference in this year’s team and those of the past…especially the ones who suffered critical big game losses. Proof that even winners – maybe especially winners – can be complacent.

“The biggest difference in this team and the last two years is this team seems to have a little more want-to about them,” Saban said. “They want to be great. Some of our teams here have been complacent — like last year, I was disappointed in the way we prepared for the Ohio State game. We had too many people not happy at the Sugar Bowl about having to practice and doing what we had to do. It was a little bit of a grind. These guys don’t look at it that way. They’re excited to be in the playoff. They’re excited to still be playing.

“The attitude part, I like a lot better. There’s a better disposition. That doesn’t mean we’re going to play well in the game or anything else, but there’s a better disposition and we’re going about it the right way.”

It’s time to try something different.

Starting the week of Monday, January 4, 2016 I’m going to be conducting free 90-minute sessions for CEO’s and top leaders. These are one-on-one, completely private and confidential sessions.

The 90-Minute “One-Thing” CEO Introductory Coaching Session

One thing.

Just one.

Not 10, or 5, or even 3.

Just one.

One issue that keeps you up at night. One issue that vexes you…and has likely been vexing you for awhile. I’ll give you some examples of the kinds of issues I’m talking about.

  • You need to replace your longtime CFO
  • You’ve got a division that’s draining resources and you need to sell it, close it or consider some other alternative
  • You’ve got challenges with employee engagement
  • You’re considering acquiring a smaller competitor
  • You’re thinking it may be time to sell
  • Sales are dipping and you need to reverse the trend
  • Cost containment isn’t working and margins are eroding
  • You’re years away from stepping aside, but you’ve got nobody yet ready to take your place
  • A key leader in your organization died suddenly

The list could be much, much longer because for every CEO there are potentially dozens of issues. Because these are top level, top leader issues they’re especially important. Often urgent.

During our introductory session we’ll concentrate on just one – the BIGGEST one.

I offer these free sessions to help serve top leaders with a focused effort to address a single issue – one pressing problem.

These sessions are designed to help you accomplish 3 things, even as we focus on your one thing:

  1. To help you gain greater clarity
  2. To help you uncover hidden challenges
  3. To leave you renewed, reenergized and inspired

What else?

They also provide CEO’s the opportunity to experience something many have never experienced. Personal, professional coaching with a person who isn’t beholden to them. Unencumbered service.

It’s A Real Human To Human Interaction

CEO’s and other top leaders are far more than a title, position and authority. They’re people. With families and close friends. They have challenges in life just like all the rest of us. They may live in fancy gated neighborhoods and drive luxurious cars. Climb behind their eyes though, and you’d see they laugh at the same things that tickle the rest of us — they cry (or want to) at the same sad stories we do — and they experience the same euphoria and pain known to the rest of us. That’s why this 90-minute ONE BIG THING session is just two people having a powerful conversation to work through the one agonizing issue that’s front and center right now!

What do I get out of it? Plenty.

For starters I get the opportunity to meet you and help you with an issue that can positively impact your life and your organization. I also get the opportunity to demonstrate how powerful it can be for top leaders to be transparent. Safe. Comfortable. Secure. Private. Confidential.

If you happen to be a CEO in the Tarrant County area of Dallas/Ft. Worth, then a free session with me may just result in multiple wins for you. Not only a free 90-minute coaching session, but perhaps an invitation to join an exclusive CEO group I’m building especially for CEO’s on the Ft. Worth side of the metroplex. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First, we’ve got your one big thing – your one big issue that we need to help you address. Take the first, but most important step. Fill out the form below right now. Don’t wait. There’s no better time than right this minute.

reduce-your-butAll it takes is a few minutes to complete the form below. It’s time. High time. It’s also your opportunity to at long last discover a better way. World-class athletes and performer have coaches. As a high performing top level leader YOU deserve to experience it at least once. And yes, if I’m dazzling enough, remarkable enough, extraordinary enough — we may both decide the relationship is worth continuing. No matter what I’ll make you a promise (beside the confidentiality) — I’ll serve you in what’s sure to be among the most remarkable ways you’ve ever been served!

Randy

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Leadership- Should You Be A Lone Wolf Or Part Of A Pack? - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 292

292 Leadership: Should You Be A Lone Wolf Or Part Of A Pack?

Leadership- Should You Be A Lone Wolf Or Part Of A Pack? - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 292

Leaders, like followers, come in a variety of personalities, styles, philosophies, tendencies, experiences and aptitudes. Too many variables to lump people into simple, easy categories.

People grow, adapt and change, too. I’m not quite the same leader I am today as I was a few decades ago. Truth is, I’ve made some significant changes (improvements) in the last 5 years. In some respects, I don’t think I resemble the leader I once was. It’s called growth and learning! Professionally, it’s what I work diligently to help other leaders experience, too.

It’s not always the most comfortable process. Rarely does growth or improvement happen without stress. You can either lean into it or run away from it. Flee or fight instincts often overrule our sensibilities. A true leader learns to behave intentionally and run toward the fear where growth is found. Cowards feel trapped, acting like they’re in a mine field. Afraid to move a single step in any direction, they freeze. Of course, the problem is…you can’t live in a mine field. Remain stationary and you die. Make a move and it might kill you, but you might find your way out. There’s no avoiding risk if you’re chasing reward.

Leadership is a reward. It’s for the courageous and brave, not the fearless. Every leader I’ve ever known admitted being afraid of something. Often times, many things. Fear doesn’t define leadership, but our response to fear often does.

Enter hubris. It’s too common to find leaders who are fearful of showing fear. Vulnerability isn’t a quality they think belongs on any list of leadership. Foolish. Wrong-headed.

Some leaders let fear drive them into a lonely corner feeling they must fight the fight alone. Survival of the fittest and all that. “Never let ’em see you sweat.” “Show no signs of weakness.” All that other bravado that often drives leaders. Especially the loneliest ones.

“Nobody understands what I’m going through anyway,” he says to me.

“How can you be so sure?” I ask.

“Because my problems are unique to our organization,” he says confidently.

My work consists primarily of asking questions. It’s how clarity happens. Asking and answering questions foster clear thinking and bring things into sharper focus. At least that’s the goal.

So I ask, “Give me one example of a problem you’ve got that you think nobody else has.”

He starts to think. And think some more. Then he summons up the courage to mention an industry specific issue, but quickly realizes it’s just details. The jest of the issue isn’t uncommon and he knows it.

Slowly a smile begins to show through and he meekly admits that he doubts he’s alone. “Then why are you trying to go it alone?” I ask.

That sparks the conversation I’ve been wanting to have with him. He’s a CEO with very capable COO. For reasons I don’t fully understand, he doesn’t have a relationship with the COO that seems healthy to me. I mean he trusts his COO. The man is very capable, even strong. They get along just fine. There’s no apparent trust issues or personality conflicts. It’s communication. The CEO doesn’t freely share information with the COO.

And it’s not out of any apparent sense of hoarding information. At first I suspected it was simply the CEO’s “hold your cards close to your vest” style. But it’s more than that. My intuition has been prompting me to dig deeper for months now. I’ve resisted digging in lieu of closer observation to see what behavior shows me. Sure enough, it’s more than obvious that the COO is frustrated at a professional life relegated to trying to figure out what his boss is thinking, feeling or wanting. The CEO senses the frustration, but figures it’s just how things roll.

As I work with both men I know how valuable candid conversations between the two men can put them into a brand new, higher orbit of effectiveness. Mostly, I’m feeling a bit sad for the CEO who is bent on “going it alone” because it’s just how he thinks things ought to be. I’m also sad for the COO, a bit younger than the CEO, because he’s being robbed of the opportunity to grow and learn at the hands of a man he deeply respects. Both men are losing out.

Sometimes The Lone Wolf Isn’t Alone Because He Wants To Be

Fast forward past numerous conversations and what seem like thousands of questions. The CEO fears putting a burden on his COO that is undeserved. “He’s not paid or tasked to worry at my level,” he divulges one day.

“So that’s why you don’t let him into your world as closely as you could?” I ask. “Sure, of course. The buck doesn’t stop with him. It’s stops with ME,” he says – as though he’s stating an unarguable fact.

What ensues is a discussion about how people grow, especially our children. The CEO, a father, can relate. The kids are grown now. I ask him if the things he shared with his kids changed as they grew older. Of course it did. As they grew up and matured, he and his wife were able to share more and more with their kids. With their experience and maturity, the kids were not only capable of handling more, but they craved it. It deepened their relationship. He easily recognized it when the context was his own children.

I then morphed the conversation to the professional “children” in his life – those people he loved and served – and who wanted to serve him. He was their leader. The place had high regard for his professional prowess. The whole organization reeked with desire to please him. He’d started this business. The founding father was viewed with the regard he deserved. I thought he deserved to not fly alone when he had people, especially one very close executive, fully capable (and desirous) of being a confidant.

I sat there telling stories of growth, improvement, sharing confidences and having a person with whom he could “shell it all down.” Over time it was apparent he had a yearning for it, but he had been a lone wolf for a long time. Habitual loneliness isn’t so easy to abandon. Sometimes investments are difficult. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

The CEO didn’t necessarily want to be a lone wolf. He just assumed that he had to be. That it was unfair to go any other way.

Smart people can make bad assumptions. They can also figure it out and alter their course.

A CEO with a COO who is his right hand, and confidant is a very different man than a guy living in a cave fearful of sharing his issues and worries fully. Proof that old maxim is right, fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Rip it down, tear it up and mostly our fears are without foundation. When the two men sat down for a candid conversation – far more candid than any they had ever had – it’s powerful. It’s not about business issues. It’s not about the quarterly performance. It’s about their feelings and inner desires to be better men, better leaders and together – to build a stronger organization.

I warn them that they may both feel regret over what’s been lost, but I challenge them instead to rejoice in what’s found. These are the moments I live for. Major breakthroughs.

Sometimes The Lone Wolf Is Alone Because He Wants To Be

We’re all wired a certain way. Thankfully, the CEO was wired to accept the challenge to help spur on his own growth, and the growth of his COO. Together, they sparked a pretty major growth in their company. The culture shifted from practicing communication that was often ambiguous and vague to being candid, open and forthright. You could feel it on your skin like a warm blanket on a cold night. It was comfortable. Nice.

Many stories don’t have happy endings though. Sometimes a lone wolf is alone refusing to go it any other way. They want to be alone.

I no longer care why. I once did. I’d anguish about why a person would be so bent. Through the years I’ve found it foolish on my part to try to connect those dots. For a lifelong dot connector it’s vexing, but even a hard head like me learns to cry “Uncle” when I’m beaten.

Arrogance. Hubris. Ignorance. Stupidity. It really doesn’t matter why. I just learned to make a distinction between those who want to and those who simply don’t know how to do it any other way. At first glance it can tough to tell, but hang with it long enough, ask enough questions and pay close attention long enough — and it becomes pretty clear which it is. Is it desire? Or is it lack of know-how?

Sometimes I still try to convert the willful lone wolf. Mostly I focus on the value lost. Their own value. Yes, I appeal to their selfishness, working to convince them of what they’re costing themselves. Then, I shift it to what they’re robbing their own team of – the chance for personal and professional growth and development.

Perhaps if I were better I’d win more of those battles than not, but I’m not in control of it. I can only present people with the value proposition and the risk proposal. Each of us are free to roll the way we want. I honor that. I try to respect it, but that’s infinitely harder. What I do respect is our ability to make our own choices.

Growing Or Dying?

Maybe if we look at animals in the wild we can gain some clues about this whole lone wolf thing.

Young animals need protection. They also need to learn the skills necessary to fend for themselves. The herd, pack or flock needs to perpetuate itself. That means the young, inexperienced members need to grow, develop and eventually reproduce. Even the most dominate leader of the pack needs the pack. Without them, he can’t survive long.

When a beast grows old, feeble or is injured – then the drag on the group is obvious. That’s when you see him wonder off alone. To die.

We may impose our human emotions on such a situation, but it’s easy to see the practical realities of it. The group can’t be put at risk. There comes a time to cut and run it alone. Survival isn’t possible. It’s just a matter of time. Go it alone and avoid risk or injury to the group, or be stubborn, remain with the group and put them all at risk.

In business, I think it depends on the same question…

Are you growing or dying?

If you’re dying, go it alone. Please. For the sake of others, reduce or eliminate the risks to others. But if you’re determined to grow, you’re crazy for going it alone. You may not make it to full maturity. Predators might kill you. You may fall into some trouble that you never saw coming. All because you were just too stubborn to be taught. Too stubborn to allow somebody else to show you a thing or two.

Just because you can go it alone doesn’t mean you should. We tend to think that because we’re able to drive a car, and because we’ve got our driver’s license — we can handle anything the road or traffic throw our way. Wrong! Inexperienced drivers die on the roads in America daily. Unaware of the dangers they think that because they can drive a car, that they’ll be able to handle anything that happens while driving. In too many cases it’s a fatal error.

Business owners, executives and leaders fall into the same trap. Sure, they have the ability to do as they please and go it alone. That doesn’t mean it’s wise. Fools go out of business all the time. Executives blow up their teams and their careers just as frequently.

It’s up to us to decide what we want to do: grow or die?

Not All Groups Are Created Equally

The group matters. Who you listen to matters. Your decisions matter. Your judgments and choices matter.

It’s important to know where people are coming from and to whom they’re beholden. Leaders often tell me about their “trusted advisors.” Sometimes I’m shocked at how much trust and confidence people put in others who clearly have a vested interest in one outcome or decision versus another one. It may not be so easy to see when it’s YOU, being the leader who is leaning on a close friend, or some service professional, or an employee.

I’m not saying trusted advisors can’t be trusted. I’m saying we all need to be realistic about the level of trust we put into somebody based on their own interests. There’s nothing wrong with trusting people. I rather think leaders should likely be more trusting, not less. However, we have to acknowledge that each of us have a vested interest in an outcome the closer we are to the outcome. In other words, when a CEO is considering an important decision she may summons her inner circle for feedback. She should. She should also remember that these people work for her and they want to please her. They have jobs and duties to protect. They may not be as forthcoming in giving an honest counter position to a proposal she offers because of that.

Likewise with a service professional like an attorney, accountant or insurance person. These people want to continue to our provider of choice. They’re going to do everything in their power to keep us happy.

It has nothing to do with honesty or integrity. It’s just how things go. Decisions and choices are often jaded by personal interests. The US Government is the best illustration I can offer you. Special interest lobbyists drive the system. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. It doesn’t often produce the very best outcome because the drivers behind the decisions aren’t often made from a strong position of clarity. There are biases built in all throughout the system.

That means it’s important for leaders to surround themselves with people who can serve them without any penalties. People who care enough about the leader — people who have the skills and experience to help — people willing to offer tough questions — and perhaps even tougher suggestions — all because they want the leader to grow, excel and improve.

Very few leaders have such a group. Most have never experienced such a group and may tend to believe that such groups aren’t even possible. Through the years I’ve heard a number of top executives lament that life at the top is just what it is. Of all the problems they face, this seems to be the one problem for which they think there is no solution. It’s a myth.

Let’s Answer The Question

The answer to the question is simple if you’re dying. Go it alone. Please don’t cause the death of others. Let the rest get out alive if possible.

If you’re growing, then you have no choice, but to join yourself and align yourself to others who can serve you, and who can be served by you. That includes an inner circle. Maybe it’s a right-hand man, like the CEO and the COO. Share the burden of leadership with others who are part of your executive team. Like the youngest members of the pack, they can best learn when you’re willing to teach them. And they’ll serve you in return.

But you need more. You need people capable of knowing where you’re coming from. You need peers. That’s the biggest frustration often expressed by leaders. They think they have nobody with whom they can share because nobody in their life can relate to their situation. Mostly, they’re right. But not entirely.

Some have tried mastermind groups, but found them wanting. High performing leaders can find themselves in a group where their expertise is benefiting others, but they leave with a rather empty experience for their own issues. Sometimes groups are grossly out of sync where the disparity is so large members can’t quite relate to each other’s situation. Inevitably, the weakest members of such groups tend to establish a baseline of performance that just isn’t high enough for the people who really want to soar much, much higher.

We don’t need a group that will weigh us down. We need a group that will lift us up. We need a group that will encourage us to stretch, push and strive to grow and improve.

 

Here’s the sad reality — very few leaders have experienced a truly helpful group with no axe to grind and no dog in the hunt other than to help, encourage and serve. Yet we’ve likely experienced a taste of it with our family or some other small group. People who surround us and tell us, “We’ll help you. You can get through this. We understand what you’re going through and we’re here for you.” Nothing in return other than knowing they can help, and knowing that when they need help, you’ll do the same for them.

So you can decide for yourself how you’ll go. Clearly, I’m hoping you’ll decide to join a pack. Whether that pack is a small, intimate group or something else you think is high value, you decide. Just don’t go it alone.

Because you only go it alone when you’re ready to go off and die!

Randy

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bula network podcast on itunesTo subscribe, please use the links below:

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292 Leadership: Should You Be A Lone Wolf Or Part Of A Pack? Read More »

Group Power: Clarity, Feedback & Accountability - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 291

291 Group Power: Clarity, Feedback & Accountability

Group Power: Clarity, Feedback & Accountability - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 291

That’s a photograph of my first grade class. An extremely bright group. 😉

Look at us. All bright, young and shiny. Solid potential all around. Nineteen kids. One teacher. That’s her at the back, Mrs. Arnold. And the Principal who appears to be wearing bunny ears thanks to that bunny on the bulletin board behind him. I don’t recall his name.

I was with this group on the day President Kennedy was assassinated. Mrs. Arnold was our leader on that dreadful day, a day we couldn’t quite fully comprehend. I’d been a seasoned, even grizzled kindergarten veteran, but that wasn’t the same as first grade. Kindergarten wasn’t nearly as organized, or profitable. I mean we took naps! Naps, I tell you. Hardly a productive group experience, at least for me. I didn’t gain much clarity, but I do recall getting a bit of feedback. Accountability was always in place ’cause we were kids. And it was the 1960’s when adults believed in teaching us discipline. Not like today where the kids rule. Yep, I think it was a better time and I’m thankful to have been born in an era where kids were safe, but expectations were higher. Come on. Just look at us here. Okay, forget that kid on the right in the front row. He looks like he could enjoy spiteful behavior, doesn’t he.

There’s power in a group, but it certainly depends on the group. Today’s show was sparked by a conversation I had some weeks ago with somebody about a group that I’m part of where accountability is pretty high. It’s a group where leadership isn’t bashful to serve the group. As we were talking I found myself reciting all the reasons why the group worked; why it performed at a fairly high level. That’s what I’d like to share with you today.

I want you to think about your own situations, your own opportunities with whatever groups you’re a member of — and whatever groups you may be looking to join or form in the future. I don’t claim to hold any profound wisdom about this topic, but I’ve got extensive experience working with and forming high performing groups. I know how powerful they are. And I know how addictive they can be for the members, too. So let’s dive in.

Why Does The Group Exist?

If there’s no common purpose, the group won’t be high performing. Kindergarten was a low performing group because we were just there doing time. Sort of like a fun kiddie prison. Okay, a half-day prison of sorts. With toys. And snacks. And naps.

Every member of the group must know, understand and believe in why they’re together. I’ve posed it as a “WHY” question, but others would say it’s PURPOSE. Same difference. It’s quite simply the reason for the group to exist.

Take something as simple as a coed recreational volleyball league. Players can be put together who never knew each other until their team was formed. The volleyball league is made up of teams of men and women who want to play volleyball. Let’s suppose this league has a rec division and a competitive division. The rec league is made up of people who just want to play according to the real rules of volleyball, but they’re more interested in having fun, getting some exercise and being on a team. The competitive division is more serious and the teams are more competitive, with each member having higher skill. That’s important because the teams – the groups – are comprised of mostly similar people desiring similar things.

Have you ever been on a team where you wanted to really compete, but others were mostly just interested in having fun? It’s frustrating. I’ve coached many teams in my life and there’s always trouble when some don’t want to take it as seriously as others, or when others want to take it too seriously when that’s not the purpose of the team. So, purpose is very important. And it’s important that every member of the team understand why we’re together and what we’re here for. I’ll include the necessity for high performing groups to also be of similar ability and skill. That likely deserves it’s own heading, but I’m including it here in this first category because you’re not likely going to ever be able to assemble or be part of a group where everybody is identical in skill, ability or experience. The key thing is to make sure the disparity is small. That is, A players want to play with A players. Even in the rec league that’s true. A players will be fine with some B players, too. But insert a C player or two and you’ll instantly make the A players annoyed and frustrated. C players need to step up to become B or A player if they want to be part of a high performing group. Otherwise, I don’t think they have a home.

Few things destroy the effectiveness of a group more than a disparity of purpose. Now this isn’t the same thing as – some are here for one thing and others are here for different things. The recreational volleyball players know why they’re on the same team. They don’t want to have their nose broken by a spike. They want to play legitimate volleyball where lifts and net violations are called (accountability), but they mostly want to compete in a less competitive stress-filled league. One wants to do it for exercise. Another wants to do it to improve in hopes of eventually moving up to the competitive league. Another is mainly there so he can play a sport with his wife. Each person may be getting something specific out of it – something they want and need – but they all know why they’re together as a rec team.

If just one player is a wannabe Olympian, then there’ll be trouble. He’ll be taking things far more seriously than the rest. At every lost point he’ll rant and holler at teammates. He’s out of context with the purpose of the group and he’ll negate any joy the rest of the team might otherwise have. It’s important that players get placed on the team that best fits the purpose of the individuals. A. To play purely for recreational purposes where winning isn’t nearly as important as just playing. B. To play as competitively as possible. Two different reasons for each group. Urgent that every roster be made up of players who know why they’re together.

This is the fragility of team chemistry. It’s where it starts. I’ve seen many personality conflicts erupt because team members don’t share the same purpose. In every high performing group I’ve ever been a part of, everybody knew precisely why we were together and what our purpose was. This includes “buy in,” that proverbial mental consent that joins people together to chase something in the same way.

How Committed Are We To Do This?

It’s one thing to know why we’re together, but that doesn’t mean everybody brings the energy necessary to get it done. High performing groups are committed — to a man and woman. Nobody is left behind on the Commitment Train. Everybody is on board.

Think of the times when you were part of a group that had high performance potential, but something went awry. It could have been any number of things that disrupted the performance of the group. I’ll almost guarantee you that among any other problems the group may have faced, this one was most certainly right at the top. Not everybody was willing to put in the work, make the sacrifices and commit themselves to getting it done.

Remember, we’ve already talked about A, B and C players. So at this point we’re assuming that the group is comprised of people who belong together. But I should inject something right here — a C player who is at that level due to inexperience or even a lack of talent can play nicely with the group if he’s fully committed, putting in the work and the group is seeing improvement and contribution. It’s context. High performing groups appreciate the hard working, lesser experienced person who know their place. They don’t appreciate the C player who seems convinced they’re an A player.

Likewise, the AAA player who won’t work hard, who feels entitled and special will destroy the group. No amount of talent will overcome the group’s expectation that everybody bring value. While every group can easily recognize the difference in each member, there’s an equality that is expected. There are minimum standards established by leadership or the group that everybody must meet. When those aren’t met, commitment is appropriately questioned and peace gets disturbed quickly.

Nothing can replace commitment. Talent won’t. Experience won’t. A title won’t.

Let’s talk a bit about motivation. We’ll define motivation as the energy we all bring with us to do the work. That’s different than inspiration. I may be able to inspire a person’s motivation, but I can’t give somebody energy they don’t have. It’s like a battery. The battery can have full energy, but if the connections are bad…nothing happens. The energy is there, but it needs direction. Connection. Inspiration might include some education to help a person connect or tap into their inner energy, but their “battery” level is something they’ve either got or they don’t.

This is important because high performing groups need everybody to consistently show up with the energy to do the work. You’ve seen this destroy a group. Somebody is always suffering some issue. Maybe they’re always running late, filled with excuses. Or they’re sick all the time. Or they’ve got drama in their life that they’re intent on sharing with the group. Everybody thinks they could bring higher value, but sooner than later the group learns to not rely on them because they lack consistently. Every questions their commitment – rightfully so. Who cares what potential good they might bring to the group? Potential doesn’t accomplish anything. The group will grow increasingly disgusted with them.

Every single member of the group must bring the energy and determination to contribute.

How Selfish Are We?

High performing groups won’t tolerate selfishness. Peace is disturbed by this one awful trait. Selfishness.

The group is what matters. Members know that they can only get what they need and want through the group. Let’s go back to our volleyball team. The person who wants to exercise weekly with his wife is getting something specific and different than the person who wants to improve so they can eventually play at the more competitive level. Yet neither can get what they want outside the context of the team. They need the team in order to get what they want.

Suppose they put their desires before the team. How is that going to work? It isn’t. It’ll wreck the team and their chances to have the team serve them. More importantly, it’ll rob each of them of the opportunity to serve the team! Everybody loses.

And it happens all the time. Team members can’t get their attention off themselves. They’re desperate to want what they want and they don’t care about anybody else. They behave as though the group is there to serve them and they have no responsibility to serve others. It’s the single most destructive behavior of any group – high performing or otherwise.

I’ve never seen a group perform at high levels consistently where there was no peace. I’m not talking about respectful conflict and debate. That can be quite profitable if members will behave appropriately, respectfully and with the intent of making the work better. It will be destructive if it’s self-centered, full of ego and lacking respect for the overall performance of the group. It’s borne of that “I’m gonna look good even if you guys all look bad” kind of philosophy. High performing groups can’t and won’t tolerate it.

Great groups check their ego at the door and refuse to let their own (or anybody else’s) interfere with the overriding reason for their existence together. Sometimes it means sacrifice. It means we submit to the group’s decisions and well-being. It means the idea we think is best may have to be tabled because the group desires something else. There’s a time to speak and a time to sit quietly. Our level of selfishness often determines which is appropriate.

Another part of this is our ability and willingness to serve others in the group. The less selfish we are the more we’re likely to gain. Suppose you’re on a volleyball team of 9 people. There are 6 people on the court at any one time. That means 3 people are sitting on the sideline, if everybody is there. The selfish player can think, “I should be out there. I’m better than him.” If he continues to think like that he’ll act that out eventually. But he could decide to cheer and encourage, staying upbeat and ready when he does go into the game, determined to be the very team mate possible. It’s an enormous difference in behavior sparked by how players think.

Consider how the team will behave toward those two different approaches of a player on the sidelines. If you’re on the court do you want to surrender your spot to the pouting, I’m-better-than-you teammate? Not likely. The high energy, cheering, encouraging teammate who is excited for those on the court…would you like to see him get some playing time (remember, he’s fully capable of playing at your level, that’s why he’s on your team)? Sure. Most of us will gladly share our time with a guy like that because he’s serving us. It’s more than an attitude. It’s behavior.

How Proud Are We?

Without exception, every high performing group I’ve been a part of, or the ones I’ve watched from the outside, have a pride in the group that is without question. They’re filled with pride to be part of the group. They’re proud of the accomplishments of the group. Proud of the growth and the opportunity.

There’s something exclusive about high performing groups. It’s special. And addictive.

It’s manifested in how much time people spend together. I’ve run organizations where people stood in the parking lot for long periods of time talking, brain-storming and telling stories. I’ve coached teams who did the same thing long after practice had ended. There’s a reluctance to part. There’s an attraction to stay together. It’s a bond that I’ve learned many people have never experienced. That’s sad to me because these are special times when we’re part of something that brings us such pride.

Pride can fuel greater commitment and discipline to make sure we’re earning our keep. It’s not an arrogant, I’m-better-than-you kind of pride. It’s a feeling of gratitude to be able to contribute to such a group, and to be part of it. We want to maintain our inclusion in such a group.

What About Clarity, Feedback And Accountability?

I think by now you can see how clarity happens. High performing groups are quite clear about their why or purpose. That drives their ability to be clear about how to get things done.

Feedback is valued and encouraged because without it clarity is lost. Without it, improvement is stopped dead.

Where there is no accountability, there is no high performance. It’s impossible. Expectations have to be established and met. When they’re not, what’s the repercussion? There isn’t one? Then the group isn’t high performing. It’s got nothing to do with whether a member is an A player or a B player. The stars on the team need higher accountability because they’re able to contribute more. Every member has to be expected – and required – to bring all they can to the benefit of the group. If the group tolerates your willingness to bring anything less, then why should I put forth my best?

Accountability isn’t a dirty word. It’s vital and craved by high performing people comprising a high performing group. The best people want high accountability. Slugs don’t. They resist it.

As I was talking about a specific high performing group with a friend recently all these components were part of the discussion, but accountability was a real focal point. Mostly, because it’s so rare. People talk about it, but few people do it, or experience it. I’m not talking about a calling on the carpet. I’m talking about real, legitimate positive accountability. I’m talking about maintaining a high expectation.

We’ve all experienced getting in trouble. That’s not what this is although it might include it when it’s deserved. Mostly, it’s manifested in not letting people off the hook for a less-than-you-can-do job. It’s not expecting the B player to perform at an A level. It’s expecting the best that we know the B player can deliver. It’s accepting nothing less for the good of the person, and the performance of the group. It’s a service thing. Not a punitive thing. That doesn’t mean it can’t involve some punitive measures if they’re required, but that’s not the purpose. The purpose of accountability is to elicit the very best of each member so the group together and soar as high as possible. It’s a teamwork thing.

If your end of the boat sinks, so does mine.

Each group member deserves to be held accountable. Otherwise, they become unfit for the group. How is that fair?

Everybody deserves to perform at their highest level. To allow otherwise is to lose confidence in each other, to lower our expectation for each other — and to be willing to put our group at risk. Again, that’s unfair to all concerned.

Let’s End With A Myth

Some people think that high performing groups just happen, or they don’t. They think it’s a serendipity thing that can’t be created or controlled. WRONG.

I’ve heard people, including sports team coaches, talk about team chemistry as being this ephemeral, fragile, hard to predict kind of thing. It doesn’t have to be. I don’t think it should be left to chance or happenstance. Still I often hear leaders hoping to capture it. They approach it like a search for a 4 leaf clover. The odds aren’t great, but it could happen. Such leaders aren’t prepared to lead a high performing group in my opinion. They’re not strategic or intentional enough to deserve to lead such a group. And a high performing group deserves better leadership than that.

The world is full of examples of leaders or coaches unable to assemble a winning team. Chip Kelly has been a colossal failure in Philadelphia even though he’s been empowered to pretty much have things his way. I’m not qualified to second guess NFL professionals, but it’s easy for anybody to see that what coach Kelly is doing and has done, isn’t working. Fact is, it’s not working spectacularly! On the flip side look at the Carolina Panthers of the NFL. Last season was a lackluster affair. This year, they’re leading the league. Watch them play and you see they’ve got something special. I don’t know, but I’m willing to give credit to their leadership for helping make that high performing group come together.

If you’re a leader, put in the work to assemble the best group possible. Be devoted to making sure these ingredients are in place. Don’t short cut it. Don’t accept mediocre or excuses. Make it happen. People are craving such groups. They want to be part of it and they won’t want to let it down, or be ejected from it. It’s why in too many cases the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Top performing people who aren’t yet part of such a group long to be part of one. They’ll line up to be part of yours. Case in point, the top college football programs continue to be the top programs year in and year out because the best high school football players want to be part of a winning program. Recruiting is easier when you’re leading a high performing group. It’s also a whole lot more fun.

Randy

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bula network podcast on itunesTo subscribe, please use the links below:

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291 Group Power: Clarity, Feedback & Accountability Read More »

The Power Of Asking Better Questions - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 290

290 The Power Of Asking Better Questions

The Power Of Asking Better Questions - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 290

Spend enough time in sales and you’ll soon realize the power of questions. They serve to help you find out if you’re a suitable solution for a prospect. They also help you serve clients better.

One of the first things I learned was how powerful questions are to learn more. Namely, about the people I was attempting to serve. A couple walks into the stereo shop where I was working as a high school kid. I was naturally curious about what they were looking for, why they might be looking for it and what kind of music they most wanted to play. First, I remember being curious about who is really doing the shopping here. Is it her? Is it him? Is he helping her, or vice versa? Only one way to find out. Ask.

I was the naive sales guy willing to ask what others thought might be the stupid question. For me, it was less naiveté and more curiosity. There was also the practical element of it all. I needed to know so I could better serve them. I wanted happy customers. The road to happiness isn’t paved with good intentions or anything other than finding out what must be done, then doing what must be done.

In this particular case she was looking for her first real stereo system – not one of those all-in-one affairs that was the starter system for many of us. She wanted to have a really good, albeit not too expensive system. His job was to make sure she didn’t get scammed. I figured as much.

I didn’t ask the usual questions though. He remarked about that. Others wanted to know, “How much do you want to spend?” I never went there even I knew it was a perfectly logical question. The reason I didn’t go there was because it just didn’t feel right to me. It felt like I was just like everybody else and my big driver then (as now) is that I’m not like everybody else. That’s right. I’m better!

If you’re going to be better than everybody else, then stop doing what everybody else is doing. Ask better questions. Prove you’re different. Better!

I asked her what I asked lots of shoppers during those times in hi-fi stores. “What’s your favorite record right now?”

We’re in the mid-1970’s. I don’t remember what her answer was, but it could have been anything from Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon to ZZ Top’s Tres Hombres to some Earth, Wind and Fire funk. Who can remember? Not me.

I do remember the question taking her – and her boyfriend back. They came in for stereo gear. We talked music. I didn’t think it odd at all. Why did we want good stereo gear? That’s right. To play our favorite records. Yes, kids. It was the days of vinyl, turntables and phono cartridges.

Ballard StreetThe boyfriend observed that my question wasn’t the first question they’d been asked elsewhere. “Don’t you want to know how much we want to spend?” he asked.

“Not really,” I said. “I figure you guys will spend whatever you want. I don’t have much control of that. I just want to make sure you know what’s available so you can make the best decision.”

Oh, I had him on his heels now. Armed with specs he may have stayed up all night memorizing so as not to be taken advantage of, and so he might appear the knight in shining armor to his sweetheart, a teenage kid stood in front of him armed with nothing but my love of music, my knowledge of the gear and my desire to find out, “What’s your favorite record right now?”

Oh, I asked many more questions about her record collection including what her all-time favorite record was. Her favorite band. The last concert she went to. I knew she hated disco – beginning to be a thing about that time. I was happy about that because I couldn’t stand disco. She had roommates in college and didn’t want anything too big. Or too loud, except when they had parties. On and on this went as I put record after record on a turntable – the records she most loved, of course. Discovered only because I asked.

And I simply walked them through what an expensive system involved, all the while telling them, “I know you’re likely not looking to spend this much, but let’s talk about why these expensive systems cost what they do. That way I can show you what you give up as we walk down toward systems that may be more what you had in mind.”

It was a strategy I used my entire career in consumer electronics – up until the time I walked away from that industry in 2009 (well, I stopped even consulting in that business by 2011). Old habits are hard to break. When you’ve spent a lifetime in an industry it can be tough to walk away, but I did. I had always heard about “step up” selling, but I never did it. Step up selling is when you attempt to step people up a price point, to a higher level where presumably you can make more profit. There’s little to no profit in the low end of any market. Step customers up to a higher price point and you tend to encounter higher profit margins. It seems logical. I just never did it because again, it sounded like everybody else and my motto was to zig when everybody else was zagging. Besides, it felt much better to teach people about the higher end stuff and most admitted nobody ever took the time to do that. I did. But we both know I’m special. 😉

The boyfriend was disarmed right away because he knew I was no threat to him, or his girlfriend – or their budget. I didn’t even know or care what their budget was. I knew it really didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that I have a clear understanding of what she (they) wanted so they could make the best, most informed decision possible and have the system that fit her needs and desires. These things take time. The grand thing about all this for me, at the time, was that we could do it while listening to music. It just doesn’t get much better than that for me. I still miss the hi-fi business. 🙁

I don’t remember how expensive the most expensive system was that we first looked at, but I briefly went over a few key reasons why expensive systems were expensive. Why hi-end turntables performed much better than low-end ones…and why she’d be better off spending more money on the phono cartridge where most people skimped on that and ruined any hope they had to get a great sound. She was learning and my questions demonstrated one key element that good questions always do…

I cared about her.

My competitors hadn’t asked her these questions. They’d gone straight into pitch mode, trying their best to sell her whatever they could. I gave her time, attention and was genuinely interested to know what she most wanted in a hi-fi system. That was over 40 years ago and I’m still the same guy. I’m no longer selling stereo gear (sometimes I wish I were), but I’m still selling, serving people and trying to do good. Working hard to make a positive difference.

You Can Make The Biggest Difference When You Take The Time To Find Out More

I’m typically an impatient man prone to just get on with it. But in the rush to make a sale, I’m like a camel. I can go for long periods of time waiting as I build the relationship, finding out all I can, teaching as much as possible along the way. I know I’ve got my hang up’s. We all do. Maybe for me it’s the desire to appear genuine, knowledgable. I’ve never been too bothered about not being the smartest man in the room. I’ve long joked that even when I’m alone I’m not the smartest guy in the room. But I’m almost always prepared. It doesn’t mean I’m ready, but it means mostly I’m ready enough.

The other day I ran across this little graphic with a quote by Hugh Laurie, the actor who played Dr. House on TV.

The Power Of Asking Better Questions - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 290

Pretty good, huh? I agree with Hugh. Now is as good a time as any. I just always figured it was up to me to put myself in the best position to make now be as right as possible. And with that, you’d think I might over prepare, but not so much. Perfectionism is not my problem. My willingness to accept imperfection is pretty high, but when you live behind my eyes — that’s just how you have to roll.

You’ve heard the famous quote.

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”  Theodore Roosevelt

It’s true. Conversely, I can tell how little you care by how little homework you did, or you little you care to find out what I think, or how I feel. Tell me, don’t ask. And I’ll confirm the shallowness of your concern for me. Ask me, and take the time to really listen. And I’ll know you likely care. Keep doing it and I’ll know how much you care.

Speed dating just gets to a faster no I suspect for those who participate. Speed selling does the same thing.

So I hope I’ve shown you that questions can make you stand out, stand apart from the crowd. They display your genuine care to learn more about the people you’re attempting to serve (those people who may buy something from you). They also serve to give you insight and information that help you make customers happy. Good salespeople are good servants. They don’t want returns, refunds or buyer’s remorse. Ever!

Questions are so powerful they deserve more time than we give them. And more creativity, too.

During my years running retail companies I was fanatically against hearing anybody in stores say, “Can I help you?” It screams, “I’m a salesperson intent on selling you something.” Instead, I taught sales staffs to simply welcome shoppers with a simple, “Good morning” or “Good afternoon” or “Good evening” followed by “Welcome to (insert the same of the store).” Then just shut up, but be attentive.

Inevitably the shopper would ask the first question. It might be asking where something was located. Or something else, but the question they asked would be the ice-breaker where our staff members could begin to build the relationship by asking questions designed to help serve the shopper. The intent behind the questions is important.

They must be designed to find out more in ways that demonstrate you want the person to be armed to make the best decision they can make. All the while arming you with the information you need so you don’t waste their time, or get it wrong.

My college couple shopping for a small starter hi-fi system may have been willing to spend the money for a system that would play twice as loud as she’d ever play it, but it would have been the wrong system for her. How would that have helped me serve her better? How would that have given her anything good to say about me, or the store I represented? I wanted her to tell all her friends about me. I wanted her parties to be successful and for my name to be dropped as the guy who sold her that killer system everybody was enjoying. Getting it wrong would have negated all those things.

Getting it right demands that you ask the right questions at the right time. And today, I’m challenging you to formulate better questions. Get outside the space you operate in. Your industry – whatever industry it may be – it overrun with “me, too” copycat-itis. Every industry is. We find somebody succeeding at something and instantly put it into practice never fully even knowing why it may work for them. Sales gurus peddle scripts guaranteed to bring in more sales. “We’ve tried this script on over 10,000 calls and we know it works.” Well, maybe so, but if you hop down that road copying it, sounding like you’re reading a script I guarantee failure. Besides, if you don’t take the time to understand the value behind it, you can’t own it. And if you can’t own it, then neither will your prospect.

It’s not about scripts. My admonition about store greetings was a script of sorts. How we answered the phone was, too. But it was natural. It was easy. It was straight-forward, friendly and simple. Too many times we get wrapped up in contrivances that we think will “make” people buy from us. Listen, you’re not going to make anybody do anything they don’t want to. You may as well quit trying because it’s a waste of time and energy. Besides that, it’s wrong-headed.

Instead, spend your time crafting questions that will actually help you help your prospective clients. Show them how much you care about serving them well…and getting it right. Do everything in your power to make them feel and understand how motivated you are to “get it right” for them.

The crazy bottom line to all this is stupidly simple: care more. 

Care enough to prepare. Care enough to learn. Care enough to teach. Care enough to share.

Care enough to ask.
Randy
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