Dan Tyminski plays guitar in Alison Krauss’ band, Union Station. Union Station, including Alison, is a world-class band. Dan has been a member since 1994. He tells a story about being asked by Ms. Krauss to join her band as a guitar player. There was only one problem. He wasn’t really a guitar player. Banjo? Yes. Mandolin? Sure, proficient. But guitar? Not so much.
He confesses he knew chords, but not much else. So he spent some months in a shed teaching himself. All the while facing whatever fears he may have had. Shutting up the voices in his head that may have said, “Dan, you idiot. You can’t do this. You can’t go on the road or in the studio with Alison Krauss as her guitar player. Give it up, dude.” No, Tyminski apparently didn’t listen to any of those fears. He just got busy learning to play the guitar. One man. One guitar. One shed.
Magic does happen when men face their fear by refusing to surrender to it. Now, Dan hears crowds applaud. But it could have turned out so much differently had he never hit that shed with the tenacity to be able to tell Alison, “Sure, I’d love to be your guitar player.”
Fear takes on many forms. It morphs like the cyborg assassin chasing John Connor.
And it can be just as tough. In every way.
People wake up in the morning afraid of something. They lay awake at night worrying. Shadows, clouds and stormy weather don’t much care if you’re wide awake or sleepy. Fear is like a roach. It can thrive in any environment. It only needs a brain. The brain need not be rational, bright or highly intelligent. Any old brain will do. As long as it’s alive.
Vision is blurred when the corridor of fear is closing in. It doesn’t matter that clear skies are at the end of the hall. We often struggle to see that proverbial light at the end. Those shadows are in high def though. We can see them in vivid detail. 3-D even.
They change shapes as we embrace their closeness. Sometimes they take form as the risk of failure. Other times they’re the possible outcome of success. From one extreme to the other we embrace our fears and use them as excuses preventing us from what we claim we really want.
Sit down with anybody willing to acknowledge their fear and you sense their pulse accelerating. Their fingertips grow cold. And even if don’t feel it, you can almost see the knots form in their gut. Don’t let anybody tell you that fear isn’t real. It’s very real. Your body’s response proves it.
Our rational minds can fail us. Deception. Delusion. Imagination. Those are the fuel sources for our fears.
Questions can bring clarity because they demand answers. Deny answering at your own risk. If you do, fear will overtake you, run you down like a crazed trucker, beat you with chains and leave your dead carcass as a reminder for the rest of us…that it means business! Of course, it’ll all be a figment of our imagination, but we’re certain we can smell dead flesh.
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This is Rosie and Rocky – our two White West Highland Terriers. Brother and sister. That’s Rosie you may hear barking as the podcast begins. They were born in The Woodlands, Texas over a decade ago.
You should know I love cartoons. I have four full color prints of Jerry Van Amerongen hanging on my studio walls. He’s the creator of the greatest cartoon on the planet – Ballard Street. I purposefully surround myself with Jerry’s work. It inspires me, but quite often it shows me how little creativity I really practice. I hope to do better! Always.
“Who are you?” is the question asked. Some people may find that offensive, but not me. Don Crowther, whose work I respect and enjoy, would take issue with me even sharing personal stuff with professional stuff – but when people ask, what are you to do? People say, “Tell me your story.” I’ve been gently criticized for not sharing enough of my personal life with people interested in my professional services. Just this week Fast Company posted a story about Sarah Austin and her balance between personal and professional. It’s a story of how she seamlessly intertwines her personal and professional life. The fact is, some people are interested. I confess I’m still struggling to figure it all out. Don and other experts at such stuff are teaching me. We’ll see how good a student I am.
WHO ARE YOU? It’s not an offensive question to me – because I’m certainly not well known (yet). Fewer people know me compared to those who don’t. Lebron James doesn’t have that problem. Thankfully, I’m not that popular or famous. Nor do I run the risk of losing my anonymity any time soon. Going to the Wal-Mart is not a problem. I can’t imagine what it must be like when people know who you are, everywhere you go.
This is grandson number one, Max. His mom, my daughter, blogs about him (I contribute every now and then) at his website. Jake is his little brother. Jake has his own website.
Rhonda is my wife. She has a website where she sells her doll dresses. That would command an entire podcast episode all by itself. I didn’t even mention it, did I? She’s just getting her blog going. It’s a work in progress. She’s one of those people who is too busy creating stuff. She’s not got much time for this unproductive website stuff. She does, however, have quite a loyal band of followers, friends and customers. Her business is growing. Proof that no niche is too small.
I doubt I’ve answered the question as substantially as I could have, but this will have to do. Consider it part one of my answer. Will there be more parts? It all depends on who asks, how often they ask and if it will help me serve you better. So, maybe. Just maybe.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for reading. Thanks for letting me occupy part of your life and your attention.
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Wanna hack off a life coach? How about two? Take issue with the typical sounds about pursuing passion found all over the web. Recently a couple of life coaches took issue with my notion of pursuing passion.
We just have a philosophical and practical difference of opinion. Vastly different. And I wasn’t the least bit angry, but I touched a nerve with these two guys. You’d have thought I called their mama, “Fat!”
That word “practical” was at the heart of it all. In my mind.
The fact is, my approach is far too real-world for some life coaches. I don’t market myself as a life coach, but any of us in the “helping businesses” should be concerned with serving the lives of others – not pushing popular opinion or riding the wave of the latest, greatest notion.
Pursue your passion. Does it really serve the person who is up his ears in credit card debt, contemplating bankruptcy and struggling with daily life because of those pressures? Does it really serve the husband and wife are trying to make ends meet so the financial burdens don’t rip their marriage apart? Does it really serve the father who cries at night because he’s losing his teen to drugs?
Some life coaches seem to think the panacea for all of life’s problems is pursue your passion by being your own god. Law of attraction. The Secret. All the rest of the drivel that deludes people into believing they have full command of the universe.
Yes, I strongly disagree with that belief. For starters, let me give you my so-called bias. I believe in God Jehovah. That is, I believe in the God you read about in the Bible. I also know I’m not Him. I don’t think you are either. That fundamental belief means I don’t think any of us have full command of the universe. In fact, I rather believe the control we have is limited to ourselves. We control our behavior, our beliefs, our actions, our reactions and our choices. I also believe that’s sufficient for us to do the right thing.
But I also believe in the practical realities of life. Passion is not always the answer. Sometimes cash flow is the answer. Sometimes a medical doctor is the answer. Sometimes a family counselor is the answer. Sometimes God is the answer. Come to think of it, when isn’t God the answer? I clearly have what some might call a “religious bias.” I admit it.
Click play and I’ll tell you more about the two life coaches who disagree with my take on pursuing passion.
UPDATE: I love words. Especially ones I don’t know how to spell. Ironically, I’m usually a good speller, but I posted this post using the term “torked” instead of “torqued.” Thankfully, it was called to my attention early on, but it’s taken me all day to get around to changing it. I like the look of “torked” better, but thanks for the correction. We aim to please.
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“People with dirty jobs are the happiest people I know,” said Mike Rowe of the Discovery Channel show, Dirty Jobs.
“Follow your passion is probably the worst advice I ever got,” says Mike.
Zig when everybody else is zagging.
Go in a different direction from the herd.
It’s possible to love what you do. That doesn’t mean you’re doing what you love. It may not mean that you’re following your passion. If you’re not following your passion then you’re destined to live a miserable life – wrong!
The masses preach that we must chase our passion. We must do it or success will elude us. We must do it or we’ll wind up empty, pathetic and broke. And we believe it. So more often than not we’re discontented. With everything that is our life.
Are we destined to live our entire life questioning, “If only…?”
A blogger recently wrote how she was so engaged in her work that she lost track of time. She found herself working more hours than ever because she loved her work. She was somewhat offended – or so it seemed – when somebody commented about her “work.” She doesn’t think of it as work. It was as though the very word repulsed her. Interesting.
Work is not a dirty word. There may be dirty work – but work isn’t dirty. And loving what you do is not necessarily the same as doing what you love. Productivity, efficiently, effectiveness, fulfillment, contentment – they can all be yours.
Maybe it starts with us making up our mind we’re going to do remarkable things and find joy in the daily actions that make up our lives. Maybe it starts with us making up our mind we’re not going to chase fairly tales, but instead we’re going to write our life story and grow where we’re planted. Maybe it starts with making up our mind we’re going to provide value and service by doing those things we’re able to do – not because we’re doing what we love, but because we love what we’re doing!
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