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MySpace was founded in 2003. In July 2005 it was acquired by News Corporation for $580 million. For about 3 years Myspace was the most visited social networking site in the world. It surpassed Google as the most visited site in America in June 2006. That’s when the decline began. By the end of last year, 2011, the site ranked about 138th in most visited (that’s still impressive, but not as impressive).

On June 29, 2011, Myspace was sold to Justin Timberlake and Specific Media for approximately $35 million…a mere 6.03% of what News Corporation had paid some six years earlier. In terms of sheer purchase price, MySpace had managed to lose a value of $545 million. That’s about a $91 million a year decline in value over 6 consecutive years.

All those resources lost. Oh, and in a 2 year period, between June 2009 and June 2011, MySpace jettisoned 1400 people. More lost resources. New Corporation likely would love a “do-over.” $545 million, 6 years, and who knows what else – gone!  Suddenly, I feel better about my $50,900 loss.

Every quarter there are tremendous losses and wasted resources. We read about them constantly in the business press. Even the mainstream press.

Well, we don’t have millions of dollars. We’re not Justin Timberlake. How does any of this apply to our life?

Click play and find out. It’s a sober message that everybody needs to more seriously consider. Life is short. Resources are limited. We all need to allocate more wisely.

The Freakonomics podcast is mentioned in today’s show. In particular, this episode about doctors washing their hands and people learning the basics of financial responsibility.

The headline? Leroy Jethro Gibbs said that. Yep, THAT Gibbs. The one we know and love on NCIS.

Teachers. Business people. Creatives. Leaders. We all need a degree of smartness. And patience.

The world is full of smart people. It seems to me there are far more smart people than patient people. Fewer still are those who are smart and patient.

It’s an interesting intersection of qualities.

Wisdom is typically defined as the application of knowledge and experience. I doubt wisdom is possible without the two components that Gibbs said made up the DNA of a sniper.

“For as he thinketh within himself, so is he,” says Proverbs 23:7. Some misconstrue the meaning. Most famous among them, Napoleon Hill who penned “Think And Grow Rich.” Yes, folks can become rich by first thinking about becoming rich, but don’t we know of many folks who think of little else – and they’re poor as can be? If we only had to sit around and think of being rich, then wouldn’t we all be rich?

That’s not to say the proverb is untrue. Generally speaking, a proverb is true. Yes, there may be exceptions. We see it in the person full of self-doubt, fear and reluctance – but still they achieve things others only dream of. Typically, people who become high achievers are people who have a strong belief in their own capacity to achieve.

Does it mean we can do anything we set our minds to? Hardly. Like it or not, we have limitations.

There are two things that help construct who we are, and what we are. In today’s show I discuss these two things.

Tom Brady is a celebrity quarterback and 3-time SuperBowl champion with the New England Patriots. Six quarterbacks were drafted ahead of him in the 2000 NFL draft. His story demonstrates how our own motivation can drive us to higher accomplishment.

In today’s show I play the audio from this YouTube video segment of ESPN’s The Year Of The Quarterback – Tom Brady.

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Millions of people enter each work day hopeful. Hopeful that today will be better than yesterday. Hopeful that yesterday’s problems will grow smaller.

You know the adage, “Hope is not a strategy.” It’s a great saying, but sadly, for too many people it’s not true. Hope is the only strategy some people employ.

And it’s not because they’re stupid or foolish.

Many people don’t how to do it any other way. Day after day they hope. Some days it works out. Many days, it doesn’t.

Today’s show has one goal – to help you learn how to get started. I’ll warn you there are no secrets and no super easy shortcuts. But everybody can improve. Everybody can start.

Think of your life as a resource. A limited resource. We’ll start with that truth and move onto a few practical tips anybody can implement today – right now – to start feeling better about their work because they’ll be more effective. It’s not just about feeling better. It’s about doing better, which makes us feel better.

Let me know if this helps. I’d love to hear your feedback.

Here are four things to help you get up after you’ve been knocked down and dragged out:

1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
2. Decide your first step (and your second)
3. Pay attention
4. Make resilience your personal trademark

Watch the video and I’ll explain. Let me know if these help you. Shoot me a message on Twitter.

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Success Isn't Binary

Be a millionaire. What? You’re not already a millionaire? Loser.

All the cool kids are millionaires. They’ve had a killer IPO or acquisition. Banking millions.

That’s true success, achievement and mastery. If you’ve not yet pulled that off, then you’ve got a lot of work to do. Catch up. Get with the program.

Or not.

Truth is, most of us can live the life of our dreams (not the wildest variety perhaps, but still dreams) for $150,000 a year or less. Few of us will achieve millionaire status defined by having a net worth of $1M. Fewer still among us will achieve millionaire status by having liquid assets in excess of $1M. But the world is full of stories that compel us to think everybody is more successful than we are. The world loves to help us all feel like losers.

Suddenly, gratitude, thanksgiving and simply feeling good about our life are out the window. All because we’re drawn to compare ourselves to those at the top of the success pyramid. They have the success we want. They have the good life. By comparison, we’re a failure. We’re poor.

Hog wash! People with a more crude vocabulary will use two different words to describe it.

Today is my 34th wedding anniversary. Perhaps that has caused sober reflection on my life and driven me to a state of higher than normal (for me) gratitude. I hope you can learn something from it. I’m still learning.

Dr. Mike Evans is founder of the Health Design Lab at the Li Ka Shing Knowledge Institute, an Associate Professor of Family Medicine and Public Health at the University of Toronto, and a staff physician at St. Michael’s Hospital. In this presentation he answers the old question “What is the single best thing we can do for our health?”

During this season of making new resolutions, why don’t you embrace this health tip?

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Does your business look like this?

These little Red Sox players lack understanding and maturity. They’re just having fun running around. Cluelessness is cute when you’re just a kid, but not when you’re older.

Does chaos, commotion, confusion and complexity rule the day in your business or career? Then you’re like these little kids. Childish.

Stop it. Grow up. Get a grip and stop ruining your success.

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Time, Your Most Valuable Resource

In 1991 I read Jeffrey Mayer’s book, “If You Haven’t Got the Time to Do It Right, When Will You Find the Time to Do It Over?” It was likely one of hundreds of books I’d read about time management. Since then, I’ve probably read 100 more. You’d think I’d be a time management expert by now, huh?

Time management tools and techniques are a bit like the best camera. “The best camera is the one you have with you.” The best time management techniques are the ones you’ll actually use.

GTD – Getting Things Done – by Robert Allen is clearly the market leader in time management. If not the market leader, it’s got to be the best known brand in the space.

I’m not a time management expert, but I do know how to get things done. I do what works for me. You likely do things differently than me. That’s fine.

But…

Sometimes I don’t do what I know I should. Sometimes I mess up. And I have to go back and do something again because I failed to take the time to do it right the first time ’round.

I’d like to hear what works for you, or what resources you’ve found valuable.

Tweet me @RandyCantrell

Thanks for listening,

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My Grandsons

“It’s all about building relationships,” says the expert. “Businesses must build community.”

People flock to this trough like hungry swine, devouring every word as though their business lives depended on it. Obviously many business owners believe it.

It sounds reasonable. Right, even.

Besides, we all want to be liked, loved and in good relationships.

And who doesn’t want to be part of a community? Better yet, who doesn’t want to be the Pied Piper?

Build your own tribe. Lead that tribe. How cool is that – to be the Chief of your own tribe leading the rest of us around like simps unable to decide for ourselves?

In a world where everybody is an expert about something (some among us are expert at everything), it’s about building relationships.

No, it’s not.

It’s about sitting in my car recording today’s episode before my second workout of the day. Today’s episode was recorded late yesterday outside The Yellow Studio. That’s why today’s show is another special episode. You might think it’s special in other ways after you give it a listen.

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We have great respect for severe weather here in Tornado Alley.

Today is 11.11.11. Too bad I couldn’t have set it up so today’s episode would be number 111. I obviously should work on my long-term strategy better.

Let’s talk about coaching and providing meaningful help to others. Trusted advisor isn’t just some marketing malarky, it’s real-world relationship building.

I’m also going to share with you the first BulaNetwork production. Well, it’s the first real production of this new media company I’m now running.

I’ll end today’s show with two T’s – tornadoes and thanksgiving!

Some links to things mentioned in today’s show:

• The Dan Patrick Show
• David Meerman Scott’s post about coaching
• Steve Farber
• Tommy Spaulding
• Bar Code Radio, the first real Bula Network production
• Text Expander, a great keystroke short cut Mac program
• Google Analytics and other tracking resources
• What do you think of the new tagline, A New Media Company Operated By A Business Builder?
• Storm Chasers, the TV show
• Reed Timmer, an extreme meteorologist based in Norman, Oklahoma
• Reed’s Tweets are often very informative
• I hope whatever dark clouds exist in your life have a silver lining

I know I didn’t get around to discussing 2012 projections and planning. We’ll do that in an upcoming show. Many business people have inquired about what process might be most helpful. I decided that really needs to be a single episode fully devoted to those ideas. Look for that episode to come down the stream in the next few weeks! In the meantime, do you have a process you find especially useful? I’d love to hear about it.

Subscribe to the podcast.

Thanks for listening,

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Photo Courtesy of Indraneel Rakshit on Flickr

The proverb is true. The journey of 1000 miles does begin with a single step.

The first step is often tough though. You consider everything that can go wrong. You question yourself about every little detail of the journey.

“What if I screw up?”

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

“What if I blow it?”

I have another question, “What if you never start – even small?” You’ll never get any further along than where you are right now. Look around. Get comfortable…because you’re not going anywhere if you’re not willing to go small. Warning: getting too comfortable just looking at the current view will kill any chance you’ve got to get to that mountain peak in the distance!

Go! Move. Take some meaningful action right now!

I don’t know if you’ll ever get where you’re headed, but I know for a certainty that you’ll never get there by sitting still.

Go now. Go small. Figure it out as you go. Keep your eyes open and enjoy the scenery along the way, too.

As Spock would say, “Live long and prosper!”

P.S. My wallpaper photo isn’t the one used in this post, but I really like this one. Visit Indraneel’s Flickr page.

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The Reality Distortion Field Might Look Like This. Or Not.

Steve Jobs was accomplished in the art of practicing the reality distortion field. I’m guessing it was an art. It’s not a science. Come to think of it, it’s not even real, or is it?

Today’s show is about something that one listener suggested, but quite a few others had encouraged in the past. For some reason I kept stalling to tackle the subject because frankly – I thought there was quite a bit of talk about it out here on the interwebs.

MINDSET

The importance of the topic didn’t escape me. But neither did the volume of discussions about it, including podcasts, videos, books and blog posts. I figured there surely must be enough content about this to satisfy the interest of most people. Perhaps I was wrong though. Maybe my own cognitive bias was hampering my own content creation.

This is exactly what happens when you ask your audience what they want though. They sometimes tell you. Among the most suggested topics, this was among the top ones listed. Mindset, self-talk, paradigm…these were among the ways listeners defined the topic.

Today’s show is about 45 minutes long. I hope it provokes some thought and creativity. Hey, it might even rile you up a bit, but I doubt it.

I welcome your feedback. Send me a Tweet, or leave me some voicemail.

Mentioned in today’s show:

• Plato’s allegory of the cave
• False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.)
• Mindset as defined by Wikipedia
• Cognitive distortion as defined by Wikipedia
• Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson
• The Secret (a load of crock)
• The Law of Attraction (another load of crock)

Thanks,

P.S. Congratulations to the St. Louis Cardinals. Good-bye, Tony La Russa!

St. Louis Cardinals - 2011 World Series Champions

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Not all confrontations are done in anger.

For a few weeks I’ve been thinking about the subject of helping, coaching, consulting, mentoring and advising. Many people hammer those of us in the “helping” businesses because they think we’re frauds and fakes. Some are, but that’s true of most professions.

I’ve postponed talking about it, but this morning serendipity kicked me in the butt and compelled me to record today’s episode. The serendipity arrived in the form of another podcast.

EndingTheGrind.com is a site and podcast done by Steve. He interviewed Penelope Trunk for his show and not too many minutes into the show, things took a turn that Steve wasn’t expecting. He got some career advice from Ms. Trunk that I relished hearing, even though others felt uncomfortable with the conversation.

It was profitable confrontation. I saw it for what I think it was – honest, blunt help!

My first thought was, “Steve’s lucky. She’s taking the time to really give him a dose of medicine that may change his life.”

Steve posts that he had reached out to Marcus Sheridan, TheSalesLion.com, for advice about the interview. After hearing the interview, I agreed with Marcus.

From the comments and Tweets it appears others may have felt Penelope was rude, hateful and angry. I didn’t see it or hear it that way, but I certainly could relate to the clear frustration she experienced. She saw things quite clearly. Steve didn’t. It made her crazy. I know that feeling.

We all need help. There are times in our lives when we all need a kick in the butt.

It’s ridiculous to claim that only people who have no challenges are capable of helping others. The doctor who gets sick needs the care (help) of another doctor. The barber has to get his hair cut (unless he shaves his head like all the cool kids do). The dentist must go to the dentist.

Helping people is an honorable thing to do, whether people get paid to do it or not. Penelope didn’t give Steve advice because he paid for it, even though he joked about her sending him a bill. No, she had an opportunity to pass on some wisdom, as she saw it, and she took it. Steve didn’t see it at the time, but I suspect he’s coming around by now.

It was great to hear, even if my audio snobbery lamented the audio quality of the podcast. It was compelling. It was powerful. All the while I was thinking, “Steve, this can change your life if you let it.” I hope he uses it to climb higher. And I don’t even know Steve, but I know enough to suspect he’ll embrace it. I hope so.

I hope you’ve got people in your life who are willing to confront you in order to help you. I do. And I’m thankful for all of them.

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To Love And To Be Loved - Do They Define You?

I know two guys who suffered major setbacks in their careers. Their lives were turned upside down financially.

Both men took different, but similar paths toward simplicity. The practical realities of their situations dictated monumental changes in their lifestyles.

The big houses. Gone. The imported fancy cars. Gone. High dollar toys and lake houses. Gone.

Their families. Intact. Their friends. Mostly intact.

I think of them often…and a few others like them. And I smile.

Listen and I’ll tell you why.

A late addition to this episode because it just seems fitting, and because I love his music.

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"Nothing fails like success." Arnold Toynbee, historian

Cliff Ravenscraft, aka the Podcast Answerman, talks about podcasters making it to episode 7. I think he means that if you can create 7 episodes of a podcast then it’s likely your interest level is high enough to keep going. I’m proof that it’s easy to talk about things that interest you.

In today’s show I’m going to pick back up with Stephen Covey’s book, The 8th Habit. That quote by Mr. Toynbee is worthy of a single show. I built today’s show around that quote and the context of it in the book.

I hope you enjoy this 100th episode (honestly, I passed the century mark a while back what with all the special episodes I’ve released). If it proves anything…it proves I won’t quit. Not today.

Mentioned in today’s show:

• Rush Limbaugh
• Kevin Kelly’s 1000 True Fans post (one of the most linked-to-things here at Bula Network)
• SEO Book is Aaron Wall’s website
• The Salty Droid blog (warning: he’s profane)
• Kindle technology completely changed the pricing of ebooks

Coming Soon!

A “thank you” show is in the works. There are plenty of people who have helped me directly and indirectly. Some of them don’t even know they’ve helped. Others, are very aware.

Have you ever sat down to think of ALL the people who have helped you? I should do that more often.

The world is full of people who contribute. Yes, there are the takers, but an awful lot of people willingly give. Surround yourself with them and it’ll foster that behavior in your life. Look for this “thank you” show coming soon!

Thanks for listening. I hope you’re subscribed to the podcast.

Have a safe, happy Labor Day weekend holiday!

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It’s hard to see yourself as others see you…as you really are.

Yes, that’s me in the mirror. I don’t think I look like that, but sometimes other people do.

The name of the game is awareness. Sometimes our awareness is hindered by our inability to see ourselves as others see us, or as we really are.

Let me give you three specific actions you can take to help you know yourself better. You can give yourself a better, more accurate picture of who you really are when you actively engage in all of them.

1. Use meaningful measurements
2. Seek wise counsel; ask others
3. Self-examination

Today’s show references these things:

• Fox News coverage of hurricane Irene, particularly Shepherd Smith
• Social Media Clubs, including the one in Dallas and the one in Ft. Worth
• Dallas is a pro sports town, particularly a Dallas Cowboys town
• Dallas Cowboys’ quarterback Tony Romo
• Wayne “The Great One” Gretzky
• Magic Johnson had great vision and awareness
• George DeJohn’s fitness radio show
• Episode 48 and others (I won’t take the time to list all the others, but you can search the term “strengths” here and find them)
• In episode 53 I talk about Dan Sullivan‘s concept, Unique Ability®
• One Person/Multiple Careers by Marci Alboher
• Career Renegade by Jonathan Fields
• A&E’s hit shows, Hoarders and Intervention
• The GEICO Abe Lincoln commercial

Subscribe to the podcast over at Apple iTunes.

Thanks for listening,

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First published in 2004, Stephen R. Covey‘s “The 8th Habit” was a highly acclaimed follow-up to “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People.”

For weeks I’ve been staring at this book on my bookshelf. It’s now been almost 7 years since I read it. I’ve been tempted to re-read it a number of times, but for some reason I’ve been distracted with other reading. Juggling too many books at once is a lifelong habit, my 9th habit.

At long last, I’m now re-reading it and decided I’d share my thoughts along the way. No, it won’t occupy every podcast, but I’ll talk about it every now and then. I hope to share some insights and thoughts sparked by Mr. Covey. He’s pretty good at such things, but I confess I found this book a bit cumbersome to read the first time around. That’s why I wanted to re-read it. I suspect I missed some things the first time around.

I’ll discuss this 8th habit and riff on about a few things. Don’t worry, I don’t talk about how Mr. Covey and I share nicely shaped heads to house our big brains…but we do!

Mentioned in today’s show:

Stephen R. Covey

• Ryan Cantrell, my son; Joanna, his wife; Kinsley, their new daughter
• Chris Pearson, creator of the Thesis premium WordPress theme (aff link)
• Copyblogger, whose original killer design was provided by Chris Pearson
• Brian Gardner, StudioPress
• Aaron Wall, whose SEO Book website was my first introduction to Chris Pearson’s work
• James Dalman, a friend I reached out to about a WordPress design for a client (he’s an old school rock-solid design guy)
• Barron Cuadro, the one website design guy (not a friend) who was prompt and professional in returning an inquiry.
• Phil Simon of PhilSimonSystems.com, author/speaker/all-around-good-guy
• Marcus Sheridan, The Sales Lion, blogger/social media expert/friendly-supportive-online-buddy
• One Bible illustration (even the heretics among us will have to agree the illustration is worthwhile)
• Winning friends and influencing people references a book by the famous Mr. Carnegie
• I am NOT opposed to selling things. In fact, I need to sell something. I help solopreneurs and small business owners with management and marketing issues. I sometimes accept payment for such help.

Thank you very much for listening. I’d love to hear your feedback. You can call (214) 736-4406 any time, day or night and leave me a voice mail.

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No, I’ve not “gone” country (I do love Waylon though). Nor am I going to sing on today’s show. I am, however, going to ramble a bit about an important subject (or three).

“Create the life you want.”

Today’s show includes:

• Reference to my son, Ryan – Happy Birthday (August 17, 1980)
• Reference to the grand kids – Max, Jake and Kinsley
• Reference to Chase Jarvis’ show with Tim Ferris, which aired live earlier this week on UStream.
• Reference to “the butterfly effect”
• Reference to Rush Limbaugh, El Rushbo
• Reference to Bob Heil, inventor and maker of the Heil Sound products, including the PR40 microphone.
• Reference to my external hard drive creating an annoying rumble during my ramble.
• Reference to my firewire interfaces, produced by PreSonus.
• Finding the track, getting on the track and staying on track.
• Epiphanies require some searching.*
• HOV lanes in Dallas
• BMW cars, a Dallas favorite
• Lamborghini Diablo (last manufactured in 2001; I’ll take a Diablo Orange version)

* I didn’t refer to this book in today’s show, but wish I had – Why Epiphanies Never Occur To Couch Potatoes by  Mark Amtower. Buy it. Read it. He’s quite bright.

Thanks for listening!

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Finding the path to success is a common pursuit. Even successful people want more. We’re all given to discontentment and dissatisfaction. Distraction may be the deadliest “dis” of all.

“A” in the diagram represents the starting place. Sadly, for too many it also represents complacency or being stuck in the middle. It can be an exciting place from which our future success is born. Or it can be a place of paralysis.

The circle represents goals, targets, achievements, accomplishments. So many different directions. So many different choices. “B” could be 360 different choices represented by the degrees of a circle, but we know there are an infinite number of choices really. That makes it difficult to choose. It’s often easier to avoid making a choice and remain stuck in the middle.

Today’s special episode is intended to provide you with encouragement to develop the zeal and tenacity necessary to get on with it. Today, I want to help you lift your eyes from “A” and make a definite choice. Select “B.” Make it by anywhere you’d like, preferably a direction that suits you best. Choose wisely, but choose. Then, get on with it. Start the trek toward “B.” Do it today. Don’t take your eyes off of “B.” Be precise. Be targeted. Be persistent.

When you reach “B” everything changes. Momentum shifts in your favor. Opportunities present themselves. Learning happens that helps you in new adventures. There’s compelling evidence that merely making up your mind to pursue a precise goal changes everything. No doubt a sniper rifle has greater precision than a shotgun. Live like a sniper rifle.

As the Scottish mountaineer William Hutchinson Murray wrote in 1951 (no, it wasn’t Goethe, Germany’s version of Shakespeare):

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Yes, begin it now. And don’t stop until you’ve reached the outer circle. That’s where you’ll find success, momentum and greater opportunity.

• Grandsons Max and Jake who have now learned to swim. Here’s a video of Max. Here’s the video of little brother, Jake.

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Life is one big fuel problem. How long will it take to achieve success? How long will I live? Am I smart enough to reach the goal?

These problems indicate how fuel is tethered to time, energy, distance, momentum, tenacity, brain power, wisdom and a host of other variables.

Every successful endeavor contains time, distance and fuel.

A friend is completing law school. It’s taken him a few years of dedication and tenacity. He had an idea how long it would take (time). He had an idea, when he began, how much effort it would take (fuel). It’s likely demanded even more fuel than he suspected, but he predetermined that the burn rate would be worth it. Distance was a component that involved both time and fuel, but it also required some family and work sacrifices, too. Worth it? Sure. That’s why he went in that precise direction.

Many of us have no idea how long success will take. Nor do we know how far we’ll have to go. Or how much fuel it might take. We plan and engineer our course as best we can, but if success was a definite spot then everybody would likely achieve it. Because it’s not so easily seen, or mapped out – it’s hard. Doable, but hard.

Think about what you most want. Take a precise aim. Head in that direction and devote yourself fully to it. Burn your fuel wisely by going in a targeted direction. Keep going until you reach the goal because when you reach the outer circle of achievement everything changes! It’s called “momentum.”

I hope you reach your goal. I’d love to hear how it’s going for you.

P.S. I’ll update you on some things happening with me in the next episode. I ran out of time in today’s show. Sorry.

Feedback in a public address system is annoying. It may be an indication that the mic is too close to the speakers. It may be that the volume is too high. Whatever the cause, it needs to be fixed. An adjustment needs to be made.

Luther experienced feedback from the PA. He also got some feedback on his speech. “Atta boy, Luther!” He’s a terrible public speaker who doesn’t need to be encouraged. The applause and shout outs might have caused him to think he was headed in the right direction though.

Feedback can let us know what our next step should be – what adjustments need to be made so we can improve. Or it can derail us, delude us and frustrate us by robbing us of clarity.

Daily we’re surrounded by feedback. Twitter, blog comments, Google +, Facebook, YouTube comments, Flickr comments and a thousand other services provide some way for people to communicate with each other. Feedback.

Does feedback change your course? Which feedback do you find most useful in helping you figure out your next step?

In “The Design of Future Things” author Donald A. Norman writes of technical design, but stretch your application of what he says.

Today, many automatic devices do provide minimal feedback, but much of the time it is through bleeps and burps, ring tones and flashing lights. This feedback is more annoying than informing, and even when it does inform, it provides partial information at best. In commercial settings, such as manufacturing plants, electric generating plants, hospital operating rooms, or inside the cockpits of aircraft, when problems arise, many different monitoring systems and pieces of equipment sound alarms. The resulting cacophony can be so disturbing that the people involved may waste precious time turning all the alarms off so that they can concentrate on fixing the problems.

In the design of smart cars and homes and other forms of automation, Norman argues that we “need to transition toward a more supportive form of two-way interaction.” The key may be that term, supportive. Feedback should have a benefit. That doesn’t mean it must always be, “Atta boy, Luther!” It shouldn’t just be noise. We need feedback to help us figure things out. Or do we?

Does feedback determine your direction? Do you alter your course based on feedback?

Social media is a great resource that offers high value. It does not, however, offer the highest value. 

Have you ever been in a retail store being helped by somebody behind a counter…when the phone rings? The person, perhaps in mid-sentence with you, stops, picks up the phone and all of a sudden you’re a mere afterthought.

Have you ever sat in a restaurant with friends or family, but not been in the moment because you can’t avoid checking and posting to Facebook, Twitter, Google + or playing Words With Friends (friends who aren’t sitting at the same table)? If you’ve not done this, have you ever sat at a table with somebody who does?

Perhaps you’ve looked back over a day, a week or a month and thought, “I could have written some chapters of that book I need to write.” Or, maybe you’ve peered into the rearview mirror of your life and thought, “That thing I need to finish could already be done if I’d been more focused and less distracted.”

I’m a customer service fanatic. That’s what over 3 decades of retailing leadership will do for you. Being in the moment, with the customer who stands directly in front of you, is the name of the game. A customer who has driven to your store, hopped out of the car, walked in the door and engaged you is vastly more important than a ringing phone (which should also be answered, but not by YOU).

Social media has become like the incessant ringing phone clamoring for somebody – anybody – to answer it. This week, I’m choosing to ignore it and pay attention to the people and endeavors before me.

Today’s show is about why I’m going to avoid social media this week.

NOTE: If you saw a Tweet about this post…I must confess, it was automated. Thank you for visiting this post. I sincerely appreciate  it.

Podcast: Download

We’re all wired differently, but we share some common wires. Every wiring harness I’ve ever seen – in electronics, cars, light switches or anything else – has a red wire and a black wire. Red is power. Black is a ground. It’s universally true. I’m not terribly sophisticated so my wiring harness likely has fewer wires than yours, but I’ll bet you we’ve both got a red wire and a black wire.

Doubt, fear, procrastination. These are common wires shared by everybody.

There are switches in our brain connected by these wires. When these switches get flipped, BAM! On comes the RED LIGHT. The tires on our life and our business squeal and smoke as we come to a screeching halt.

There’s a signal light a few blocks from the church building where we worship. (Yeah, we always call them “stop lights,” don’t we? We never give people directions by telling them to go to the third green light or go light.) At any rate, a few weeks ago this light started staying RED a lot longer than it used to. I first thought it was hung. Traffic kept backing up behind me. We waited. We waited some more. No cars were coming from our left. No cars were coming from our right. Frustrated, I was ready to run through the intersection, but the green light appeared.

Sometimes in our lives – and in our businesses – we get stuck on a red light. We remain stopped until it turns green, growing more impatient. We seem to hit one red light after another. No sooner do we get a green light, accelerate up to full speed…until we hit another red light. One red light after another. It’s like all the lights have synchronized in a conspiracy to stall our momentum.

The majority of today’s show is a discussion of three “drop dead, stupid simple” things that I think can help me – and YOU – move forward by giving us a GREEN LIGHT. I’ll end the show addressing that last special episode about the future of this blog, podcast and the videos. Chime in and tell me what you think.

Thank you for listening. Won’t you drop by Apple iTunes and leave me a comment about the show? I wish you would. Or you can leave me some audio feedback at (214) 736-4406. I’d love to hear what you think.

Mentioned in today’s show:

• 2010/2011 NBA Champion – Dallas Mavericks
• 2010/2011 NHL Stanley Cup Champion – Boston Bruins
• Freakonomics by Levitt and Dubner
• Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

We all do it. We look at our station in life and dream of being where the rich folks are. Look at their house, their cars and their lifestyle. Man, wouldn’t it be great if we could live like them?

Meanwhile, there are scores of people who look at our life and think similar things. We don’t pay much attention to them though. They’re not where we are and we don’t want to go backward. I mean, who wants to be poorer?

Falsely, we assume that by looking in one direction we can go in that direction. It seems right. Even logical.

What if we’re looking in the wrong direction? What if we’ve got it all wrong?

Podcast: Download

Bigger is better. I know ’cause I’m in Texas.

You know it, too though. More Twitter followers. More Facebook likes. More blog subscribers. More podcast listeners. More is better. When it comes to numbers, higher is better. Right?

Well, it depends.

It depends on what those numbers represent. More often than not, they don’t have any significant meaning. That’s not to say they don’t represent a real person, but that real person may have no interest in you or what you do. Rather, it’s safe to assume that each number presents a real person interested in their own stuff, their own agenda.

We have to realize that the people we follow in social media are not the people most likely interested in what we do, or in buying our stuff. It’s likely that your social network consists of people who interest YOU. You follow them. If per chance they follow you back, we’ll that doesn’t mean they have any interest in YOU or in what you do. That’s not some cynical view. It’s just reality.

I follow Tom Peters because, since the publication of In Search of Excellence, Tom has been on my radar. I developed a fondness for him and his work. I’ve purchased every book he’s written. I’ve paid money to see him speak more times than I can count. I’ve even touched more than the hem of his garment, I’ve experienced a handshake with Tom on just about every occasion where I’m gone to hear him speak. Tom has no idea who I am, nor should he. His crowd is vast – the result of numerous books and speeches, and years in the making. He can’t possibly know everybody who is his customer.

Fact is, I rather like Tom Peters. I like what he says and how he says it. And you know what? He’s far more liberal in his leanings than me. But still, I find him a provoking character who fosters my thinking. I rather enjoy that. Most people aren’t indifferent about Tom. I suspect people are attracted to him or repelled by him. He’s likely okay with that.

The fact that I follow him means I’m interested in him. If he were to follow me back (and he hasn’t), it doesn’t mean he’s interested in me – other than reciprocating, which isn’t necessarily meaningful. It’s just polite, but totally unnecessary.

Almost everybody I know is chasing numbers. They want more subscribers and followers. Daily that’s their focus. They never stop to think, “Will these people ever buy anything from me? Are these people interested in ME?” In almost every case, the answer is, “NO!”

The numbers don’t necessarily represent opportunity. They may, but they may not.

Today’s show is about the numbers – specifically chasing the numbers. Make sure you’re reaching the people you need to reach – the people who need you!

Thanks for listening to me. My goal is to be true to my purpose here – to help you build a better life, a better business. Let me know if I’m hitting or missing the mark.

Success is hard. Failure, though, is far more difficult.

Sensation is often our problem. Well, a lack of sensation actually.

Where are we?

Hard to tell sometimes. Are we moving closer to success, or further away?

If only somebody could shout at us, “You’re getting warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hot. Red Hot.”

Then, we’d know. But there are no such voices. There’s just the work. The process.

Get after it. Chase it down until you catch it. And whatever you do, don’t stop. Because if you do, others will run over you, leaving you to suffer defeat. And it will not be fun! Defeat is never as sweet as success.

I first read the term “lifestyle design” in 2007 while reading Tim Ferris‘ book, The 4-Hour Work Week. Tim Ferris introduced me to at least two powerful things I hadn’t known before: lifestyle design and virtual assistants. Both are powerful. Ferris, on many levels, is quite brilliant.

Don Miller‘s book, A Million Miles In A Thousand Years, is another book that intrigued me. It made quite an impact last year as people embraced the metaphor Miller put forth. Life is a story. If you’re unsatisfied with your life, craft a better story. Live a better story.

Saturday I was doing some work in The Yellow Studio. I turned on the TV to serve as background noise while I worked. I’m fond of Discovery, The History Channel and The National Geographic Channel. It happens that my set was tuned to The National Geographic Channel. The show? Locked Up Abroad. I’d never seen this show, but it was a marathon for this series on Saturday. As I worked, the channel remained on this show. Ten or more episodes, each an hour-long, appeared as I was in and out of the studio working.

Ferris proposed – and I agree with him even though I never had a label for it – that we construct our lives with intention. That we design the life we want. I began to consider Miller’s premise that our lives are a story and it’s up to us to write one that is more interesting. I thought of each episode of this TV show – a compelling show. Interesting stories. Riveting.

As a man in search of an epiphany, I was blessed with one. Okay, I admit it wasn’t really new to me. I admit that I’ve felt this way for quite some time. You may not agree with me, but that’s okay. Maybe that makes things more interesting.

I’ve made sense of some things, just not all things.

Last week I paid for and took the new online assessment tool, StandOut. This is a Marcus Buckingham product. He co-wrote (with Donald O. Clifton) the book, Now, Discover Your Strengths.

When I began my business career companies regularly used polygraph exams for pre-hiring assessment. Hard to believe, but it was common practice in the 70′s and into the 80′s. Experience taught me that the polygraph exams weren’t nearly as valuable as the opinions of the examiner administering the test. I went to greater lengths to find an examiner I trusted than most because that was what I valued most. The fact is, I’ve always trusted observation – body language, tone, personality, demeanor, eye movement, response and communication skills – more than any test or profile.

Personality profiles and other forms of assessment fascinate me. I have used a variety of tests designed to show us how people are wired. For many years I used the DISC profile during the pre-hire process, but I always used it after being convinced I was going to hire the candidate. I wouldn’t offer a candidate a job until I got the results of the DISC profile. The outcome of the profile never affected my decision to hire. The DISC profile helped me see ways I could better communicate and coach the person once I did hire them. I found it helpful, but it was just one piece of the roadmap I used to lead companies.

But this short video isn’t really about assessment tests or profiles – well, not entirely.*

A few years ago I revisited my interest in profile testing when Tom Rath‘s book, StrengthFinder 2.0, was released. My interest was no longer in the pre-hiring process. Now, I was interested in personal discovery and development. Those remain the focus.

The StandOut profile indicated I’m a person who tries to make sense of it all. Life is a puzzle and I’m a guy who is constantly trying to put the pieces together. It’s true. At least I feel like it’s true. It doesn’t mean I’m successful all the time.

Today, I focus on just one little business phenomenon that has constantly puzzled me. I can’t figure it out. I confess. I’m beaten. The puzzle is too complex. My mind, too simple.

Have a great weekend,

*I’m planning a show on profiles and assessment tests. Do you have experience with one that you think is the cat’s meow? Would you be willing to join me on an upcoming podcast to discuss your use of it? Drop me an email or leave me a voice mail.

Podcast: Download

You got up this morning feeling great. You had a good night’s sleep and you’re rather excited about the day ahead. Then, an email hits your inbox and suddenly everything changes. In a FLASH.

Suddenly, you’re feeling drained. You’re sad, unhappy, nervous, anxious or feeling a variety of other emotions that cripple performance.

One email. One message has managed to completely alter your feelings and negatively affect your emotions. It happens to all of us.

We have to manage how we feel – our emotions. Don’t just surrender to the adversity. It’ll smack you around, knock you to the ground, then stand over you and mock you. What are you gonna do about it? Well, you must do something about it. Fight back.

We need emotional head room. Our feelings play a big role in how well we perform. Performance fuels success.

I don’t believe in The Law of Attraction. It’s called a law by clever marketers. It’s a theory. And a poor one at that, but some people believe it…because they want it to be true. Wishing it won’t make it so. However, I do believe in emotional head room. That’s the subject of today’s show.

Mentioned in today’s show:

• Proverbs 23:7 “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
• Muhammad Ali – He may have invented smack-talking
• Proof that Ali knew how to manage his emotions, and how to impact the emotions of his opponents
• And still more proof

Businesses have a life span. Some live to be very old. Others die young. None are immortal.

Some get sick, but they get well. Others get sick, then get sicker.

Some businesses die on their own, while others are euthanized.

The same is true of careers. Our professional lives aren’t often diagrammed by a never-ending upward trajectory. They sometimes stumble, falter and take a nose-dive. At times they have to be reinvented. Like the US Marines, sometimes we encounter problems in our career and we have to improvise.

If you’ve got a business – or career – that is always under fire…take heart. There are probably opportunities within reach. You have to get some focus and clarity so you can see them.

Podcast: Download

Internet marketing is full of snakes who want your money. We all love our dreams though. And most of us dream of more money!

A person buys a couple of domain names. Cost $15.74.

They invest in a year’s worth of shared hosting. Cost $83.40

They use WordPress, which is free, but decide on a premium theme. Cost $87.

Grand total of starting an online business capable of earning tens of thousands, perhaps more? $186.14

Three months pass. Nothing.

Six months passes. Still nothing.

Undeterred, another month passes. Nothing. Now depression sets in. Funk hit.

Hardheaded persistence prevails and another five months pass before they cry, “Uncle!”

They’ve managed to turn an annual investment (it’s really an expense) of $186.14 into an utter waste of time. That’s if they’re lucky.

The unlucky people have spent far more, in both time and money. They’ve purchased one $1997 information product after another. They’re on every Guru’s email list. They’ve purchased from all the big names. Thousands of dollars have been spent fueling their dream. They’re convinced success is happening for everybody with an online endeavor. They just lack the information necessary, but that next Guru Launch is going to be the missing link to their online success. They’ve foolishly swallowed lies or anecdotal evidence. Like lottery players all over the country, they embrace the dream of “getting lucky.”

Here’s the Wikipedia entry for the phrase “anecdotal evidence” -

The expression anecdotal evidence refers both to evidence that is factually unreliable, as well as evidence that may be true but cherry-picked or otherwise unrepresentative of typical cases.^[1] In other words, there are two distinct meanings:

(1) Evidence in the form of an anecdote or hearsay is called anecdotal if there is doubt about its veracity; the evidence itself is considered untrustworthy.

(2) Evidence, which may itself be true and verifiable, used to deduce a conclusion which does not follow from it, usually by generalizing from an insufficient amount of evidence. For example “my grandfather smoked like a chimney and died healthy in a car crash at the age of 99″ does not disprove the proposition that “smoking markedly increases the probability of cancer and heart disease at a relatively early age”. In this case, the evidence may itself be true, but does not warrant the conclusion.

In both cases the conclusion is unreliable; it may not be untrue, but it doesn’t follow from the “evidence”.

Evidence can be anecdotal in both senses: “Goat yogurt prolongs life: I heard that a man in a mountain village who ate only yogurt lived to 120.”

The term is often used in contrast to scientific evidence, such as evidence-based medicine, which are types of formal accounts. Some anecdotal evidence does not qualify as scientific evidence because its nature prevents it from being investigated using the scientific method. Misuse of anecdotal evidence is a logical fallacy and is sometimes informally referred to as the “person who” fallacy (“I know a person who…”; “I know of a case where…” etc. Compare with hasty generalization). Anecdotal evidence is not necessarily representative of a “typical” experience; statistical evidence can more accurately determine how typical something is.

Do not trust an Internet marketer selling information products for $1997.

Resist the temptation. You can learn how to build a business without supporting these people. Sadly, some people still feel compelled to keep buying. Convinced there are secrets they don’t yet know, they read every sales letter, open every email and watch every sales video. Resisting the BUY button is difficult, even though the credit card bills keep on rolling in.

Don’t let that be YOU. Protect yourself.

I’m not Special Agent Timothy McGee on NCIS. He’s an MIT graduate whiz.

I do envy his triangulation skills though. A few days ago I started thinking about the math of triangulation. Like most people I went directly to Wikipedia.

In trigonometry and geometry, triangulation is the process of determining the location of a point by measuring angles to it from known points at either end of a fixed baseline, rather than measuring distances to the point directly (trilateration). The point can then be fixed as the third point of a triangle with one known side and two known angles.

Once I got my eyeballs facing front again, I re-read it. Then again. It finally made some sense.

Triangulation may help us solve two of the most pressing questions people have about their life pursuits.

1. Where am I?
2. Where am I headed? (What we usually want to know is, “Where do I want to go?”)

I’d like to give you three points of a triangle to help us pinpoint the answers:

a. Desire
b. Natural Aptitude
c. Skill

Let me explain in today’s video

Mentioned in today’s show:

• Mitch Rossell, aspiring country music star – let’s call him a “star in the making”
• My Word A Day Video using Mitch as an illustration. Look at the links in the notes to that video for more on Mitch.
• Donald O. Clifton, a pioneer in the notion of soaring with your strengths
• Soar With Your Strengths, the book
• StrengthFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath
• The Element by Sir Ken Robinson, another book

This is a continuation of the last show, How To Succeed In Business By REALLY Trying.

The one-hit wonder defines a career. The sophomore slump doesn’t necessarily define a career, but it might. It depends on what happens in the years that follow.

We dream, we work and we prepare for an opportunity. Waiting for the door to crack open – even if only slightly – we hope for a chance.

Knowing what to do with an opportunity is an important component in how to succeed in business by really, REALLY trying.

Today’s show is all about the process – embracing it, enduring it and finding ways to even enjoy it. Rejection, failure and disappointment are part of it. The process is incomplete without them.

Mentioned in today’s show:

• Willis Alan Ramsey
• Muskrat Love performed by America, written by Willis Alan Ramsey
• Ballard of Spider John performed by Jimmy Buffett, written by Willis Alan Ramsey
• Robin Williams successfully morphed from mere comedian to serious dramatic actor
• Steve Martin successfully morphed from standup comic to actor to author and all the while he was an accomplished musician. He’s just released a new record with The Steep Canyon Rangers.

Muhammad Ali vs. Sonny Liston. Ali knocked him out. May 25, 1965. It’s one of the most famous photographs in the history of sports. There was controversy about it because nobody saw the punch landed. Even the referee was confused as he watched Ali stand over the fallen Liston and yell, “Get up and fight, sucker!”

This was the second fight between the two boxers. The first took place on February 25, 1964. After the 4th round Ali returned to his corner, after he had clearly taken it easy that round, and declared he couldn’t see. Something was burning his eyes. Perhaps it was something Liston’s cut man used to prevent bleeding – and had transferred to Liston’s gloves. Perhaps it was something intentionally put on Liston’s gloves. Who knows? This much we do know, Ali wanted to quit.

According to fight reporters, Angelo Dundee refused to let Ali quit. “This is the big one, daddy . . . we’re not quitting now!” He washed Ali’s eyes (then known as Cassius Clay) with a sponge, then pushed him off his stool to begin the fifth round. Witnesses said Dundee hollered at Ali, “Get out there and run.”

By round six Ali’s sight had cleared. Liston went to the corner at the end of round six complaining he’d hurt his shoulder. He didn’t answer the bell for the seventh round. Ali was declared the winner by technical knockout. Victory for Ali occurred just two rounds after he wanted to quit.

I have no idea how hard it is to fight for the world championship in boxing’s heavyweight division. I sure don’t know what it would be like if you were unable to see clearly. Ali did it.

He only had to do it for two rounds, but do you suspect he could have gone longer if needed? Sure. His will to win was evident. His cockiness and confidence were unquestioned, but even “The Greatest” needed the voice of a coach, Angelo Dundee, telling him to keep going. Don’t quit.

Today, I’m going to play the role of Angelo Dundee. You be Ali.

Referred to in today’s show:
• News about Facebook and Google
• Episode 5 – Leaning Toward Wisdom

Podcast: Download

Are you a Super Hero?

No?

Are you a wimp, easily defeated by any obstacle?

Do you think about your mental toughness?

Some people think we’re just wired a particular way. It is what is. Others think we can alter most everything in our life.

I’m interested in hearing what YOU do to improve your tenacity.

Leave me a comment after listening to this special outside (literally) The Yellow Studio episode…or leave me some voicemail feedback at (214) 736-4406.

Podcast: Download

I keep lots of notebooks. It’s a lifelong habit. An addiction even.

Above is a picture of a few I recently dug out to re-read. I know people who write notes, but never look at them. What’s the point in that?

Moleskine, Field Notes and Reporter’s Notebooks are all around me. And I regularly look at some of them. Collectively they form a bit of a timeline for my life.

A few days ago I broke out the 5 Field Notes you see in the picture. As I flipped through the pages one particular page caught my attention. It caught my attention because the word STORY was written with a box drawn around it, followed by three question marks.

Story telling is an art. I don’t profess to have it down cold. I have studied it for many years though. It began in junior high, followed me through high school and on into college where I studied journalism.

Books on crafting stories are all around me. Some are covered in dust from years of being on my shelf. Copyright dates from the 1960′s or earlier are on some of them. Even if you’re not interested in writing or speaking, I’d encourage you to read books on crafting and telling stories. It’s the stuff of life. Stories make it all interesting.

It’s ironic how many people I know who want a nice lake house where they can sit idly and just relax. They want tranquility, peace, quiet. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t make for a very good story. Boring. Dull. Hardly exciting.

What about your life? Look closely at what I wrote below STORY – “Will Randy get his life together?”

It’s not likely a question you care about, but I do. To make it more interesting, let’s make it person. Insert your name in place of mine!

Will YOU get your life together?

That might be an interesting story…especially if you’re a character who wants something interesting?

One thing I want is the easy pronunciation of remuneration. Enjoy a laugh at my expense. Just listen and you’ll understand. You’ll also see that part of my story is not hiding or faking it. I’m Popeye – “I am what I am.”

Podcast: Download

The F bomb still gets attention. Cee Lo Green’s latest hit – a terrific tune – hit You Tube months ago. There were under 250 views when I first saw it thanks to a Tweet sent by @cc_chapman. The video has since been removed by YouTube, but when I looked last it had well over 5 million views.

The tune is among the catchiest tunes released in a very long time. And I think Cee Lo is a terrific talent. The clean version of the song replaces the F word with “forget.” We now hear it in every sporting event in America. The song single-handedly landed Cee Lo on the new TV show, The Voice.

“(Bleep) My Dad Says” began as a Twitter feed that drew lots of attention for the crude and funny things supposedly said by the account holder’s aging father. As an aging father myself, I could see the humor in many of the things uttered by Dad. Profanity drew even more attention and garnered lots of re-Tweets. The attention grew and morphed into a TV series featuring William Shatner.

The blogosphere is full of headlines that contain cuss words. For good reason. They catch attention. They draw readers. In short, cussing works.

My question is, “Why?”

I heard my first cuss word when I was in elementary school. I’m guessing. I honestly don’t remember. I didn’t hear it at home. I know that much. Maybe  I had a disadvantaged youth, but my parents, our friends and those people close to my family simply didn’t curse. It wasn’t part of my environment. Somehow I never felt slighted or left out.

By the time I got to high school I began to make some money working in sales. Retail sales in a hi-fi store. I quickly realized that the other young men working around me were now at a disadvantage if they had begun a habit of regular cussing. They constantly had to filter their language as they greeted and engaged in dialogue with shoppers. I didn’t have that problem. At the time – the 1970′s – politeness, kindness and civility were more the norm than not. We said “please” and “thank you.” I called my friends parents “sir” or “ma’am” – not Bob or Betty.

Years before I began selling stuff to the public I went through junior high. Junior high in the early 70′s consisted of three memorable things: hot pants, fist fights and cussing. Girls began to dress in ways I’d never noticed before. Hot pants became all the rage in 1971. James Brown had a song about them. Southwest Airlines flight attendants – we called them stewardesses at the time – wore them. So did the girls at Ridgewood Junior High. They were hardly the stuff of modesty, but I was neither blind nor dead and they made junior high quite difficult for classroom concentration.

Fist fights were fairly commonplace before and after school in junior high. I’m sure those hot pants fueled the testosterone levels, which amped up the anger and frustration. I didn’t know that then, I just thought it was a bit crazy to see two guys – sometimes two girls – go at one another. Some were nothing more than circling each other with few swings, and still fewer landed blows. But other times they were bloody affairs resulting in a broken nose, a blackened eye and gruesome sounds of fist against face.

Then, there was the real cool grown up activity of cussing. Other than smoking, nothing spoke of adulthood like cussing. You were all grown up if you were fluent in cussing. When I was in 7th grade some boys were throwing around two terms that a teacher – in class – overheard. The terms were “bastard” and “bitch.” High usage junior high terms at the time. She stopped class to explain these terms. These boys – like most kids my age – were using these terms to deride guys and girls, respectively. If a guy was a jerk, they called him a “bastard.” If it was a girl, she was a “bitch.”

The teacher explained to us that a “bastard” could be either a boy or a girl. If a child had a mother, but no father – by marriage – then that child was a “bastard,” a child born outside of marriage. Keep in mind, this was in the early 70′s and such things weren’t very common. See how far we’ve advanced as a society?

I was brought up in a church going family. I’m currently very involved in my church. God is THE priority of life. You may not agree with that. That’s okay. It’s my life and my conviction. It’s my faith and it trumps everything. I grew up knowing the Bible. And I was familiar with Hebrews 12:8, “But if ye are without chastening, whereof all have been made partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” I knew, because adults had explained it to me already, that in this Biblical sense “bastards” meant “illegitimate.” And that’s exactly what the teacher was explaining to us in class that day. The cussing boys were shocked to learn that a girl could be considered “bastard.” They just knew the teacher didn’t have that right.

Her lesson on these words continued with the word “bitch.” She explained that it technically meant a female dog. I had always had a dog. Sometimes a female dog. We never called our dog by that name. They had names like “Shelley” or “Buttons.” Okay, Buttons was a boy dog. You get my drift.

Well, these guys – and all the rest of us – knew now that our teacher was an idiot. There’s no way that’s what “bitch” meant. That’s not how we all understood it anyway. She regained some of our trust when she continued to point out that it sometimes was used as a verb (oh, boy – in a discussion about cussing and wouldn’t you know an English class breaks out). It meant “complaining.” Junior high kids I knew didn’t use it as a verb. It was always a noun. By the time high school came around that would change, but not now.

From 7th grade to 9th grade the vocabulary of cussers expanded faster than the water balloons we’d fill for Halloween shenanigans. Even then I had been taught that profanity was the only option left to a mind with a limited vocabulary. Of course, I was taught that it wasn’t right and that God cared about our language. I knew the book of James had a lot to say about our duty to God to control our tongue and our speech. Saying “crap” or “shoot” wasn’t exactly endorsed in my house and those were the words that got me in trouble.

By the time I entered 9th grade the graphic nature of the profanity was in full force. It was almost always sexual. It made me tense. We used to call it “dirty” and I admit I was put off by it. It just sounded so awful, disgusting and demeaning. That was exactly the point. It was shocking. I’m sad to report that over time it became less so. We grow acclimated to our environment and what once shocks becomes old hat. Now that I’m 54 it’s safe to assume I’ve heard every vile word known to man. Even the ones that have recently been invented. I’m no longer shocked. Disgusted still, but not often shocked.

So why do people use profanity?

Simple. People think it’s cool. It still has the same impact - particularly on young adults – that it had on my 7th grade social studies class. It shocks. It’s a complete act of showing off. That’s why kids did it in the 7th grade. It’s why grown ups do it, too. Bravado. Cockiness. Look at me! Aren’t I cool?

Those boys who were shocked to learn that a girl could be a “bastard” had no idea. Their disbelief morphed from “she’s full of crap and has no idea what she’s talking about” to “I didn’t know that.” It was a moment of enlightenment for them. For all of us. Of course, being wise beyond my years I already knew these boys were idiots. Limited vocabularies resulting from limited brain power coupled with an extraordinary need to be seen, heard and given attention. The best cussers I knew were among the most active fist fighters, too. I suspected the fights and the talk all stemmed from the same basic desire to be noticed. It worked in 7th grade.

It still works.

I didn’t say I liked it. And I didn’t say these kids were the sharpest knives in the drawer. Or the most interesting kids in the class. Over time they began to serve a very useful purpose for many of the rest of us. They were the people we’d compare ourselves to – with the exclamation, “At least we’re not like that idiot.”

I felt I already had enough obstacles to overcome. I didn’t need to contribute anything else to my own idiocy. From then until now, I continue to tell myself, “Don’t be THAT guy.”

Hip, hip. Hooray!

So I say, insert that cuss word in your headline. Fill your blog posts with cuss words. Show off. Call attention to yourself. Be shocking. It works for Howard Stern. It’s bound to work, albeit at a much lesser level, for you. Cuss up a storm.

And while you’re at it. Knock on your neighbor’s door and flatten his nose when he opens the door.

P.S. Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself. You know how you look back at those junior high or middle school photos and can’t believe you thought that garb you wore was cool? See how ridiculous you looked? Why couldn’t you see it at the time? Because we were all morons then. We didn’t know better. Now, we’ve grown up. Back in the 70′s I wore a white belt – me a million other guys. We thought it was cool. We were wrong. What are you being wrong at today? What will you see more clearly tomorrow…that you don’t see today? It’s likely the same for all of us – our own foolishness and stupidity.

• On December 31, 2007 I wrote this article on my first grand son’s blog, Max. It’s about how men influence boys. Sometimes in ways that are right, but sometimes in ways that are wrong.

“There’s already too many people in the space,” he said.

“That just sounds like an excuse to me,” I replied.

“No, it’s just true.” He was sorta barking now.

I had touched a nerve. Good. I knew I was on track.

He wasn’t unique. Like most people – yes, I said MOST people – fear was ruling the roost. I was just warming up. This wasn’t my first rodeo.

“And how does that impact your decision to start?” I asked.

“Well, it just doesn’t seem smart to jump into a space that is so crowded,” he reasoned.

“What space isn’t crowded?”

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’m a man of questions. I may not have answers, but I do have questions. Lots of questions. Unlike many people, I’m willing to remain silent until I get an answer.

Silence.

More silence.

“I don’t know,” he was frustrated. Another good sign. We’re now in the Land of Discomfort. It’s where we come face to face with our reality. Self-defeat comes into focus.

“The cost of this pursuit is counted in time and effort. There aren’t many dollars on the line.” I was now going to begin the reasoning process to persuade him of the power of starting. Even if failure was certain. Yep, you read that right.

Lately, I’ve used John Saddington, aka @tentblogger, as a case study. He’s in a crowded space – bloggers who blog about blogging. It’s not even a space I’m necessarily drawn to, but John’s work is in my RSS reader. I follow him on Twitter. I listen to what he has to say. Why? Because it’s him. He’s not the same voice, or style as others in “that space.”

What if John had reasoned like my friend? Well, we wouldn’t have John’s contribution. I wouldn’t be listening to anybody in that space. This little part of the world would be silent to me, and I suspect others like me.

Then there’s Dr. Thomas Lamar who produces Spinal Column Radio. The tagline tells you what you need to know about his podcast, “The podcast for your backbone…the podcast with backbone!” I’ve listened to his show for over a year now. I admit I’m not a listener of every episode, but I am a regular listener. And that’s pretty amazing, too. Why?

Because I’m not a chiropractor. I don’t go to chiropractors. But still I listen. Why?

Probably the same reason I pay attention to John at TentBlogger. It’s interesting. It’s entertaining. And I appreciate their work, their craft – Seth Godin calls it “art.” He’s right. He’s often right.

You’re already spending your time doing something. Jeffrey Gitomer has long said that while other people are becoming experts in sports, news, politics or some TV series – he’s writing books.

What about YOU?

Will today be the day you start?

Will today be the day you quit?

Leroy Jethro Gibbs (that’s him to the left) is a TV character on CBS’s hit show, NCIS. It’s one of my favorite shows.

Last night’s episode included a closing scene where we learn rule number 5. Gibbs is a man with rules.

Rule number 5 is, “Don’t waste good.”

Gibbs the leader utters rule 5 to a prospective hire, Anthony DiNozzo. Tony, of course, goes on to join NCIS and Gibbs’ team.

Gibbs is a great leader. He sees the future first. He sees in Tony (that’s him to the right) possibilities that Tony doesn’t yet see for himself. After telling Tony about rule number 5 Gibbs utters two words that make all the difference in Tony’s life.

“You’re good.”

It’s a game changing  phrase. For both men. It compels Tony to join NCIS. It gives Gibbs another good investigator on his team.

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week.

Today, May 4th is Teacher Appreciation Day!

Today I want to share some ideas, thoughts and perspectives on not wasting good in our own lives, and in helping students prevent wasting good in their lives, too. It’s a powerful work. It’s high value work. Congratulations to all the teachers who do it.

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The tsunami in Japan.

Just this week devastating tornadoes hit Mississippi and Alabama.

The economy.

Lost jobs.

Business failures.

Income.

Health.

Death.

We have worries and concerns. Emotions can run high. And become very raw.

This special recording, done outside The Yellow Studio is simply a 20-minute message (with no production value) designed to inspire and encourage you to push ahead. You can endure. You may be able to overcome. But whatever your circumstance or situation, you can get past it.

We’re all in this together because pain and suffering are universal. Optimism, opportunities and blessings are also universal. Embrace those.

Press ahead. Listen to episode 83 and do the hard work of turning the page past your pain and difficulty.

I hope you have a great weekend,

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Two specific pieces of feedback provide the subject of today’s show.

Chris asks, “Am I crazy?”

My short answer is, “Probably. You and the rest of us.”

Actually, the comment Chris makes drives me crazy. It’s also driving him crazy. See if it drives you crazy.

Carol Roth is the author of The Entrepreneur Equation. Carol argues that self-employment isn’t for everybody. She’s right.

But still the pressure exists for people to do what others think is best. However, the fact is, we’re not all wired alike. Sadly, there is societal pressure to conform to the current notion of success.

Robert Kiyosaki sent out this Facebook message on March 17, 2011: “A job is not an asset. A job is slavery.” As of today, it has 2526 likes and 440 comments. No, I haven’t read all the comments, but I’ll venture a guess that most agree with Mr. Kiyosaki. By the way, I think Rich Dad, Poor Dad is a good book, but I think this is an idiotic statement. Such statements put undue pressure on people like Chris who don’t feel self-employment is what he really wants.

The second question deals with opportunity – namely, turning down an opportunity. Again pressure plays a role. The young lady asking the question is offered a good career move, but she doesn’t want to take it. She feels badly because people are telling her it’s a big mistake.

We must live our own lives. We must follow our heart and our head. Nobody should acquiesce control of their life to others – or to the pressures of what other people want.

Some of the hardest work on the planet is to know yourself. It’s hard work. It’s heavy lifting. But you must do it.

Avoid delusion, self-delusion. Sure, it’s wise to seek counsel of people you know and trust, but the decision is still your own. Own it. Make it. Remain committed to what you think is best for you.

Today’s show addresses two specific pieces of feedback, sparked in large part by this video I did some weeks ago. I hope you find it helpful to your situation.

Your business or your career isn’t the Pony Express.

The Pony Express had a unique business model that seems to be how many people approach their life. They hop from horse to horse. That business model worked for the Pony Express because they had fresh fast horses poised and ready at fixed spots along the route. The Pony Express rider knew where he was starting his journey, and equally important – he knew where he was going.

A common problem today is the urge to jump from one strategy or tactic to another. There are tons of people who are busy hopping around, but they’re not moving forward. When we embark on a journey toward higher performance we’re almost always in uncharted water. Think about it. If we knew exactly how to go from where we’re at to higher performance, then we’d just follow the sign posts and make it a certainty. Sadly, higher performance is not a certainty. If it were, then everybody would be a high achiever.

There are inherent risks in our careers and our enterprises. Go to any lending institution and you’ll be required to show your plans. The bankers want to see what the risks are. They also want to see the potential rewards. Typically, a committee will discuss your plans to see if they think your venture is worth the risk. They’re interested in how reasonable and realistic it is. All of that would be unnecessary if there were some guaranteed steps we could take to achieve success. Do steps 1, 2, 3 and 4 – and BAM! – you’re a success! It doesn’t work that way.

That’s the problem with people who want to jump from horse to horse. We see what worked for one person and we incorrectly assume it’ll work for us. Maybe. Maybe not. Not all horses are created equal. Not all circumstances are equal. What worked for one person may fail miserably for you. That’s why business is so challenging – and exciting. It’s risky. Succeed and you can be rewarded handsomely. Fail and you can quit, or try again!

One of the toughest challenges facing many of my clients is choosing a strategy, developing a plan, selecting a course of action (or a variety of other things) – then working it for all it’s worth until they see that it won’t work – or until it does work. They’re Pony Express riders, but they don’t have fresh fast horses at set places along the course toward their final destination. They’re just constantly jumping from horse to horse looking for the one that will propel them forward.

For example, a person decides to ride the horse of Quality. They produce a superior product, but it’s far from being the lowest priced product of its kind. The Mercedes dealerships aren’t exactly giving away cars. If you want quality, you’ll have to be willing to pay for it. The producer has to prove that their quality is well worth the investment.

Price pressures the person riding the Quality horse. They find the Quality horse is growing difficult to ride. They’d like to find an easier horse. Along comes a horse called Low Price. They jump off the Quality horse and board the Low Price horse. Now, all the momentum that might have been gained aboard Quality are gone! Worse yet, this new horse called Low Price isn’t so easy to ride either.

The business – or the person – who jumped from one horse to another is losing ground. It’s like playing the board game, Sorry. They’re bumped off course and knocked all the way back to the starting point. Except it’s worse. Now, they’ve shown people they’re fickle, undecided about who they are…and who they want to be. They’ve lost their uniqueness in the quest to find the latest, greatest secret. The search for an easier solution has a high price. Failure.

Decide what horse to ride, then ride that horse.

If you’re riding the horse of Selection, Value or Quality – or a variety of any other horses – commit to it. Don’t try to narrow it down to your 3 favorite horses. Remember, you can only ride one horse at a time. Dragging 2 other horses behind won’t work. It slows you down. Pick ONE. And only one!

If the riding is slow at first, don’t quit. You don’t know how long the ride will take. Maybe you’ll find success soon. Maybe not. High achievement takes time. I can’t tell you how long it takes because that’s one of the variables – one of the big unknowns of business and careers. And achievement in general. We just don’t know how long it’ll take. It takes however long it takes.

If the riding is difficult, don’t quit. Many horses appear to be an easier ride when nobody is on their back. The longer you ride the horse you’re on, the more acquainted you become. That makes you a better rider. When you jump off one horse and onto another, you start that learning curve all over again.

You’ll know if the horse you’re riding will get you there or not…but you won’t know that immediately. Belief is a critical component of your strategy. You must select a strategy that you can fully embrace. Your faith and confidence in the horse you choose is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make. Equally important is your belief that YOU can ride that horse successfully to your destination. If you can’t see yourself achieving greatness…you’re in trouble. If you can’t see yourself achieving greatness aboard the horse you’ve chosen…you’re in trouble. Both rider and horse must cross the finish line.

Riders, up! Good luck.

Yesterday author Steven Pressfield released his much anticipated book, Do The Work. It’s part of Seth Godin‘s Domino Project (that explains the domino image in the upper right hand corner of the book cover pictured to the left).

Pressfield wrote, The War of Art back in 2002. He describes his latest work, Do The Work, as an action guide rather than a follow up. I recommend both.

Staples promotes the Easy Button. People love easy. But sometimes easy is dangerous. Sometimes easy destroys what might have otherwise been a wonderful experience – and outcome.

Tim Ferris promoted the 4-hour work week. Now, he’s promoting the 4-hour body – his method for fitness. Sure, it’s big time marketing genius. I mean, nobody is going to buy a book entitled, 80-Hour Work Week, or 4 Years To Fitness. And to be fair, I think Tim Ferris is a super smart guy. In fact, on many levels I think he’s quite brilliant. I also happen to know he is far from being opposed to hard work, sacrifice and getting it done. But the whole notion of doing work – any work – in a short period of time is appealing. We can at least think it’s going to be easy. Even if we’re deluded, and we often are.

One word has characterized my ambitions: accomplishment.

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to accomplish things. Today, two small visitors to The Yellow Studio taught me a lesson. Spend about 30 minutes with me in today’s show and see if you don’t learn a thing or two. I think you’ll find it profitable. And helpful. Because we all struggle to “do the work.”

Some other links mentioned in today’s show:

• LifeHacker article, How to Prepare If You Think You Might Lose Your Job
• Sir Ken Robinson (here’s a collection of his videos at my new venture, Leaning Toward Wisdom)
• Leaning Toward Wisdom (where you can find out what I’m up to these days and where you’ll find a picture of Jake and Max)
• The new Facebook page is here. I hope you’ll visit it and like it.

Thanks for listening,

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If we conclude that we’re not smart enough about something (anything) yet, then it’s time to get smart!

How smart do you have to be to get started? Well, I suppose that depends on the endeavor. Most of us know what we don’t yet know – and how to chase down the knowledge necessary so we can just take a single step. You do realize that an awareness of our lack of knowledge may give us a big leg up on all this, don’t you?

If you’re not going to move forward, then any excuse will do, but don’t let a lack of know-how spoil your hope of success. There are way too many resources readily available to help us prepare to take action – just taking that first step might be all we need to make success a reality. Refusing to take the first step is a surefire way to fail. Don’t get hung up thinking you’ve got to have complete knowledge.

Some resources mentioned in today’s show:

• The Knowing-Doing Gap by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert I. Sutton
• Free-Agent Nation by Daniel H. Pink
• The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
• Linchpin by Seth Godin
• BulaNetwork Facebook page (please visit me there and click that like button)
• Leaning Toward Wisdom – my main enterprise now, designed to help teach, inspire and encourage higher human performance in public education

Don’t stall. If you realize that you’re not smart enough to get started, then get smart enough to just start. The faster you get started the faster you’ll get up that learning curve. You’ll also speed up your wisdom, not to mention the cumulative effect of getting in the habit of taking action.

Thanks for listening.

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Robert E. Lee took 48 hours to shed a uniform he’d worn for 30 years. Two days to change his identity. He was 55 years old.

Does that strike you as remarkable? It does me. Especially now, as I attempt to put on a new uniform. And I’m slightly younger than Lee was.

It took me much longer to take off my old uniform. Actually, it took me longer to fully decide – to firmly commit – that I would change who I was by changing what I would do. Professionally, unhappiness and discontentment were old friends. Dread had visited me daily for a few years and I found myself fully enveloped in the uniform of dread.

I’m learning some things about myself. I hope you’re learning some things about yourself. Robert E. Lee – and many more characters of history – can show us some valuable things about ourselves.

Some things mentioned in today’s show:

• Jennifer Way of Way Solutions
• Steven Pressfield’s book, The War of Art
• Seth Godin’s book, Linchpin

Will you do me one favor today? Visit the Facebook page and click that LIKE button. Thank you!

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Tom Rath‘s book, Vital Friends, was published in 2006. It was a profound book for me. I have re-read it a number of times because it’s about the importance of relationships and friendships.

I think about it more and more as I grow older. I consider the impact it has on our children. As parents. And teachers. It’s rather important, if not urgent.

Dad attempts to persuade Max that soccer is fun.

Maximum Max

Photo “72 Degrees In The Shade” courtesy of Sam Howzit at Flickr

The thermometer says it’s 72 degrees in the shade, but we’re cold. All around us people are enjoying the weather. But we’re uncomfortable. We’re chilled.

Our lives are impacted more by how we feel – our senses – than what that red needle says. So what if it says 72 degrees? We’re looking for a coat, and a cap. Shivering isn’t a reaction of comfort or warmth.

Your life, your business, your relationships are all affected by your feelings. Are you comfortable? Are you contented?

If you’re not, then you’re likely looking for change – something to make you feel more comfortable.

Sometimes we’re standing in 72 degree weather, but it doesn’t feel like 72 degrees. It feels much colder.

Thanks for listening. Join the email list. Every Sunday morning around 7am CST I’ll send you a recap of what happened here the past week. You’ll also get your name entered into a random drawing for a free one-hour conversation. Some months I give away more than one.

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And I don’t mean your school teacher, although they could be included.

We spend hours on the Internet trying to find people who can teach us things. The planet is full of people who know more than we do. They can teach us things. We’re anxious to learn.

But what if the person we like – the person we’ve come to trust – is a moron? What if they’re not really that knowledgeable, but we just don’t know it. After all, we don’t know. That’s why we’re looking to this person to teach us.

What if they don’t care about real quality – they just want to take every short cut available?

Smitten with new found wisdom some people attribute the wisdom to the person who passes it on. It’s undue credit really. At least in some ways. In other ways, it’s appropriate I suppose. Credit the messenger with the message. We all do it.

Every generation puts a fingerprint on the communication of ideas and wisdom. Mostly, ideas and wisdom are not so much the discovery of a single generation – they’re newly discovered by each generation. It’s the timeline of life that determines when wisdom is seen.

Along the way we find out things we never knew before. Wisdom is taught to us by experience, or a previous generation. Sometimes, those younger show us things we never saw before. Learning wisdom is a never ending story. Some wisdom comes to us early on in the timeline. Some wisdom alludes us until much later on.

The great thing about learning – especially wisdom – is we can find it in so many different places. And while I’m intrigued with the belief some have, that their new found wisdom is wisdom never before seen by the world – that awe and wonder is simply part of the process we all endure. It’s part of maturing and growing. It’s part of our own improvement.

Perspectives change over time. Age, circumstances, additional wisdom – they all serve to help us realize that wisdom isn’t really new. It’s just recycled. And that’s fine. In fact, it’s better than fine. It’s wise. It’s how it should be given the rarity of wisdom.

Pass on the wisdom you have. Others need it. Lend a hand. Help others. Serve.

Let people feel the wonder and awe of new found wisdom. Relish their enthusiasm and excitement. Then, look for your own because you and I both know – there’s wisdom out there we’ve yet to find. And when we do, look out! It’ll be like Columbus discovering America. It’ll be a first – at least for us!

Resources mentioned in the video:

• A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller
• Steve Farber
• Seth Godin

Have a terrific weekend,

Mat Kearney is among my very favorite artists. Musical artists.

In past episodes, blog posts and videos I’ve referenced how he characterized his break-through to success as “emerging from a 5 year knife fight.”

Here’s a list:
• A blog post with a video – this was the first time I mentioned it
• Episode 46 – Reaching The Point Where You Know Enough (Let’s Do Some Cool Things!)
• Special Episode – Writers Write. What Do You Do?
• Episode 77 – Fighting With Knives, Running With Footballs And Quitting The Gurus

Also mentioned in today’s show:
• Tony Schwartz, The Energy Project
• 2000 Acura Integra Type R (yellow car pictured below)
• Subaru WRX STi (white car pictured below)

By the way, both cars are now in my past, replaced by a more recent version of a 4-banger rocket. I still enjoy cars of this ilk. I got focused on my current car a few years ago. I connived my way to buy it for some months and made it happen. Proving yet again, that the focus for the fight pays off with success. I failed to mention this addiction in that show on my 3 addictions, didn’t I? Okay, make it four (but this addiction won’t fit inside The Yellow Studio).

In today’s show I put forth my arguments for intense obsession for a period of time. No, not a lifelong focus, but a focus for the fight necessary to win.

What’s your experience? Leave a comment.

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This is the sequel – I’m actually calling it the suffix – to the last blog post/video. Hopefully, it answers a few questions and makes things a tad clearer.

I decided to solicit a call to action. It comes at the end of the video so if you’d like to just advance to about the final minute or two, go right ahead. I completely understand.

I want to hear what you think about me, what I do, or anything else related to what goes on here at Bula Network:

• Email me what you think about what I do here (the good, bad and ugly)
• Leave me a voice mail at 214-736-4406
• Send me a Twitter message
• Go to ConnectWithRandy.com and snag whichever social platform you like to reach out to me
• I’d love to have you join the list. Each month I select a person (sometimes I select 2) for a free one-hour consultation.

As always, thank you for your time and attention.

I decided to give it a go. To climb the ladder, hop out on the high wire – even though I’d never been on a high wire before – and see if I could do it. Net? I don’t need no stinking net. I’m all in.

Today’s video was prompted about 9 months ago when a listener to one of my podcasts sent me an email asking, “What’s your story?”

I chuckled at the question. Not because I thought it was foolish, but because I thought it was so appropriate. And right. My listener had every right – and reason – to ask. My path wasn’t very clear. It still isn’t.

That’s intentional.

Watch, listen and hang with me to about the 17 minute mark because I tell you the one thing I’m compelled to do – and why. You can decide how foolish I am.

Call to action:
Let me know what you think.  I’d love your feedback. Leave me a comment, a voicemail, an email…or any other way you can connect with me.  You’re in charge.

Thanks for your time and attention.

P.S. I’m going to start posting the Word A Day only at YouTube each weekday. I’ll then post them here once a week, every Saturday. Just subscribe to the YouTube channel and you’ll get them daily. Or join the list and you’ll get them all once a week.

Good idea? Bad idea? I’m not sure, but it’s an idea – and a strategy I think I’ll implement. The reason is simple. I no longer want to bury other content deeper into the blog than necessary. And I want to let other content, like this video, remain upfront for a bit longer. Will that bite me in the butt? Of course not. I’m on the high wire and I have little else to risk. Besides, there’s no net around here.

Let me see if I can offer you one small suggestion that may help you better answer that question.

It’s a question we all ask. A buddy confides some personal problem to us. He’s got a dilemma. We listen intently and finally ask him, “Well, what do you want to do?”

A business colleague comes to us with a professional challenge. They’re in a quandary with a client. They explain the events. We ask them, “What do you want to do?”

Why is it such a tough question to answer? There’s no pat answer to that. People and circumstances are varied. Problems and challenges are unique. And…there may not be a single right answer. Usually there are choices to be made. Decisions to be weighed. That’s often why we’re stuck.

Alternatives give us choices. Choices demand decisions. Decisions can paralyze us.

Are you stuck? Do you wrestle with choices? Are you unsure of what you want to do? Maybe this video can help spark just a bit of ingenuity needed to find the answer.

Or it could be stated, “When you no longer look like the crowd.” Six, one-half dozen another.

Or is it?

It may be a tell. A sign of something I’m thinking. A sign of how I really feel. An indicator of how I honestly view things.

Does it indicate that I think the crowd has changed, but I haven’t? Does it mean I’ve changed and no longer fit in? Read on because the answer is probably, “Yes.”

I’m 53. In May I’ll be 54. There are no guarantees. Just anticipation. No, I don’t dread it. Older age agrees with me in so many ways it’d be foolish – and futile – to resist. Or dread it.

Life is full of big decisions. Sure, there are all those little ones, too, but they just pass the time until a whopper comes along that forces your hand. My life isn’t likely unique. You’ve had some doozies you had to manage. We all have. [Insert speech about the human condition here.]

Do you decide who you are?

Sure…to a point. I mean, we all make decisions on how we’re going to live, what we’re going to believe, the choices we’re going to make and so on. The culmination of my 53 years has crafted the genius I have become. Snarkiness and all. Bald head. Baggy eyes. Big ears. It is what it is.

Part of looks is literal. Physical appearance. We all have a unique look unless we’re an identical twin, in which case only those closest to us claim to be able to distinguish us. I’m not a twin. Thankfully. For him.

Social media – I wish there were another term for it because I’m already tired of that label – has shrunk the world more than ships, airplanes or telephones. To be fair, the Internet has done that. Social media is merely one platform of the shrinkage.

When you’re my age you quickly realize that Twitter and Facebook are not so heavily populated with folks like you. I’m not put off by that. It’s simply a fact that many people of my age (and older) don’t get it, and still more don’t want to get it. It’s their loss really. I rather enjoy it all.

Still, there is this news – that among 50 to 64 year olds, Twitter use grew 120% last year. When you’re starting from a standstill such growth is easy. Even so, it demonstrates the proliferation of technology-based communication tools among all demographics. My age group is still very much behind. We still comprise a small group among the socially connected online population.

You don’t notice it so much in traditional media like TV or print advertising. This graying of America has resulted in tons of money aimed at my demographic. A single example makes the point, Viagra.

This isn’t the real issue for me. I’m honestly not bothered by being older, or looking different  (older) than many of the people who occupy my online space through Twitter, Facebook or my Google Reader. Not to mention my email inbox. Am I on your list? I might be. Are you on mine? Not likely.

So what’s the deal?

The fact is the crowd has never looked like me. No, it’s not my appearance. It’s in my head. It’s in my personality. It’s how I think. It’s how I feel. It’s how things strike me. It’s the fabric of who I am.

How do we know we’re not experiencing self-delusion?

We measure things by using the people in our lives as a barometer. But what if they’re as crazy as we are? Do any of us dare believe that Charlie Sheen is normal? What about those people who are always by his side – surely they see what we see, don’t they? Not if they’re as nuts as Charlie is. Madmen can always find groupies. Decades ago another Charlie (Manson) proved that. No, I’m not comparing the two – except in terms of suffering strong delusions.

Then again, is Charlie Sheen deluded? He was fired from 2 & A Half Men. Projections are he’ll earn up to $100 million annually in syndication. Oh, and his contract includes the infamous “Michael J. Fox clause” where he’ll be paid as long as the show is in production – even if he’s not appearing on it. (By now surely you’ve heard the joke, “Charlie Sheen did enough cocaine to kill 2 and a half men.”) And you thought you had it figured out, didn’t you? Wrong.

The thought crossed my mind when I was young – a kid – “What if I’m the guy who doesn’t get it?” I so fancied myself as “getting it” but if the online world and Lady Gaga’s 8.6 million Twitter followers have taught me anything it’s this – I may no longer get it. I’m not arrogant to claim I ever did, but I can tell you I’ve prided myself on thinking I did. Delusion? I’m not really sure.

And Lady Gaga’s recent RollingStone interview proves she’s a person with leadership qualities. After all, she’s created a brand that is wildly successful.

“Sometimes it freaks me out– or I should say it petrifies me– when I think about laying in my apartment (in New York) with bedbugs and roaches on the floor and mirrors with cocaine everywhere, and no will or interest in doing anything but making music and getting high,” Gaga told Strauss.

Seth says it’s initiative. He’s right.

Tony Schwartz says it’s energy. Capacity. He’s right.

Jim Kukral says it’s attention. Visibility. He’s right.

Gary Vee says it’s passion. He’s right.

Guy Kawasaki says it’s enchantment. It’s experience and feeling. He’s right.

I confess I see it. I confess I’ve seen it for over 3 decades. The compelling messages of these – and many other – modern communicators of thought-provoking ideas have replaced those I grew up with. Names like Carnegie, Hill, Peters, Waterman and others. The space was far less crowded during my formative years because the world was more vast. Resources more scarce because they were more difficult to unearth.

It dawns on me now that my wiring – the very essence of who I am – may be working against me. At 53 I now must embark on some of the hardest work of my career. And I’m not alone. Not by a long shot.

I’d surrender if it were merely a demographic thing because a person can’t change that. But it’s not, and that makes it a heavier weight to lift. So I’m in the gym that exists in my head, working hard to give it a go. If you’ve been asking yourself these same questions – pondering the course of your own professional life – then I suggest you join me in hitting the weights. Cardio won’t do it. Weight-training is the answer.

I am still – and always have been – just a man in search of an epiphany.

Regards,

I don’t buy the notion of a razor’s edge or fine line. Rather, I think we’re simply seeing the culmination of a journey whose start may have been unseen by us. Somebody – or the public, if you’re Charlie Sheen – sees the arrival. Only those closest to us see us step out toward something.

Our aim might be toward destruction. Or creation. Wisdom. Or foolishness.

I don’t know when Charlie first experienced legal problems caused by his bad behavior. Back in 1990 he was accused of shooting his fiancee in the arm. Don’t ask me to believe that incident was his first “crossing the line.” Charlie’s life isn’t unlike any other life. He set sail on this course long ago. We’re witnessing Charlie’s ship coming in.

“When my ship comes in” is a common wish among people. But, be careful what you wish for. Your ship will arrive at the port you set sail for – so select your destination with care.

Most people are followers. You enjoy going with the pack. You want to fit in. Be like everybody else.

The paradox is, you don’t want to be like everybody else. You want to be like the best. The famous. The rich. The well-known.

You don’t want to be -

Average. By definition “average” is common, ordinary and typical.

You want success. You want a better life. Where do you look? Well, the experts of course!

You opt-in to list after list. You read all the right blogs. And books.

You purchase all the Internet Marketing products. Still, no success.

What’s wrong?

You don’t know, but you’re convinced the successful people know something you don’t yet know.

Mat Kearney knows it’s not true. He knows the fight – the quest – is very personal. He described it as a knife fight. He had nothing left to lose as he embarked on a quest to break through to success in music. Five years of knife fighting, as he describes it.

Barry Sanders knew it wasn’t true. I suspect he still knows it.

Mitch Rossell knows it’s not true. He knows it requires the grind of playing all over Nashville every chance he gets. All the while he’s filling his notebooks with song after song – songs he’s writing. I talked with him last summer. He’s still playing as often as he can while he works a day job. Mitch is in his Hamburg. He’s in a knife fight. Time will tell whether he’ll emerge victorious or not, but I admire him for making the journey.

Stop listening. Stop reading. Stop watching. For “the secret.” There isn’t one. It’s just easier to think there is because that helps explain why others are more successful. It’s a delusion though.

Seth Godin knows there’s no secret. He knows everybody has to find their own way. Figure it out. Endure the process. Engage in their own knife fight.

Others can teach us things. They can provoke us. Yes, they can even help us. But YOU alone must do the heaviest lifting. People like me can only spot for you. The best anybody can do when you’re lifting is spot you, not lift for you.

Set out to be remarkable. Know this – remarkable isn’t a destination with a definite, quantifiable place. It’s a sliding scale that is best measured only by your capacity and capabilities. How remarkable can YOU be?

It has nothing to do with me. Or those folks who you deem to be rock stars.

While I firmly believe in the value of great information, great entertainment and great coaching – the fact is, YOU have to do the hard work of figuring it out. People can help you figure things out, but they can’t figure it out for you. It’s not going to be as much fun as consuming books, blogs, podcasts, videos and tweets. It just may be far more valuable.

Are you willing to get in a quiet place and spend some time alone with your thoughts? Until you reach that point, your remarkability will have to wait.

I’ve been doing a lot of that lately in my own life. In the coming weeks I’ll share my own insights in hopes that my work on my life can help you consider your own. No, I’m not going to be providing you with the 10 tips of this or that. Nor am I going to be telling you I’ve found “the secret.” This is MY life. You have your own. We’ve all got to find our own way.

The way to remarkable demands we stop following – and that we take leadership of our own lives! It’s not easy, but it’s worthwhile.

Give these a watch or listen:
• The Word “Quit”
• The Road To Your Success Goes Through Hamburg, Germany

Chase. Climb. Fight. Figure it out. Own it.

Right Click Here To Download The Audio

On August 17, 1960 a new band arrived in Hamburg, Germany. They would play fairly constantly – seven days a week – through December, 1962.

During those years this group would improve their musical skills, their onstage presentation and their visibility. During those years they’d make important contacts. Their songwriting would grow out of their years in Hamburg. And while in Hamburg they’d find out who among them had the stuff to make it all the way up the mountain – and who didn’t.

It would be a little more than a year before they’d arrive at JFK on February 7, 1964.

Their success wasn’t formed in America. It began in a small English town, Liverpool. But success wasn’t really formulated there either.

The Beatles honed their craft and prepared for success in Hamburg, Germany. Without the Hamburg years it’s highly unlikely we’d have heard of the Beatles. They were, and are, the Beatles not in spite of Hamburg, but because of Hamburg.

As always, I’m just a man in search of an epiphany. I hope my journey helps you find yours.

Regards,

Are you confused? Wondering which way to go? Wondering how to do it?

Don’t feel too badly because it happens to the best of us, and the worst of us. We often languish in failure because we lack direction. That lack of direction is sometimes the result of our inability to create some organization in our work.

People love to talk about marketing. It’s the paramount thing for people. And for good reason. We need more customers. We need bigger lists. We need greater visibility. We need more sales. We need more profits. We need more money!

Today’s show focuses on a few concepts that I think are foundational for a successful, sustainable business. I’m not diminishing marketing. But I am putting some things ahead of marketing because without them, marketing will backfire.

I solicit your feedback, questions or comments. Call 214-736-4406.

Resources mentioned in today’s show:

• This video I produced on entrepreneurship
• Cliff Ravenscraft – The Podcast Answerman
• This video on the word “habit”

Thanks for listening.

Right Click Here To Download The Audio. Or, Just Hit Play Below.

Language is important. Messages matter.

I’m especially interested in the messages we tell ourselves. For me, those are top-priority. They matter most.

Those voices in our head are quite often the loudest ones. They may always be the loudest.

It’s urgent that we control the message. Today’s video speaks directly to our ability to embrace a big idea!

Peak Performers by Charles Garfield (the book I reference; published in 1987)

Thanks for watching. Go forth. Conquer your biggest ideas!

Discovery Channel has a number of reality survival shows, including Man, Woman, Wild. For an indoor type, I’m drawn into some of these shows, but Man, Woman, Wild is pretty good viewing. Spend 15 minutes and watch the segment below. It’ll give you a taste, and better explain the premise of the show.

What does a reality survival show have to do with your success?

Maybe, everything.

Here are a few ideas I cover in the video below:

• Making excuses won’t help you survive. And if don’t survive, you can’t thrive.

• Use what you’ve got. You gain nothing by concentrating on what you don’t have.

• Quickly establish your priorities. Urgency demands fast, appropriate action.

• Work to completion. Daylight is your friend when shelter is the priority. Don’t let the sun go down before you’ve completed the task.

• Every adversity is an opportunity for you to survive. Survival is the key. Don’t let the thoughts of thriving distract you. First things first.

• Only the strong and tenacious make it. Why not you?

Improve your opportunities for success. Survive. Today. Then, get up tomorrow and do it again. And again. And again. For as long as it takes.

P.S. You’ll also find my video posted at YouTube. Subscribe to my YouTube channel, if you dare.

How do you determine who gets your time and attention? Who do you read? Who do you listen to?

There are two distinct groups who occupy your life – in terms of people who you’re willing to pay attention to – with one major caveat, these are people who know who you are:

1. The core group – the people you know and who know you. These are people who have a personal connection with you. They understand your life, and they care about it. They have a more vested interest in your life. Hopefully, you also care about them.

2. The special interest group – the people you know and who know you, but they leap to your mind because of some present need or interest. For example, you may have some specialized skill. Let’s say you’re a WordPress website designer. People know that about you. When somebody has a question or need about a WordPress website, your phone rings – or you email inbox gets a new message. You occupy a “top-of-mind” presence for the people who know you.

Then, there are all those people we know of, but who don’t know us. Connections are made that have value, but aren’t very intimate. We really don’t know them, but based on their public persona we think we do. Again, some of these people may be core people we listen to. We may listen to them all the time. We may hang on their every word because we’ve decided they’ll be in our inner circle of influence even though they don’t know us.

Another group may be more specialized. I’m a member of Don McAllister’s Screen Casts Online. Don teaches about all things Apple Mac. He produces killer video tutorials at his membership site. I learn from Don’s work. He doesn’t have a clue who I am, but based on my special interest in what he teaches, I listen to Don. We’ve all got people like that in our life. They provide value for us. Sometimes, like Don’s offerings, we pay for the value. Sometimes, it’s completely free.

With Twitter, Facebook, blogs, Foursquare, Gowalla and the host of other places where we interact with people – it’s entirely probable that most of the people you interact with each day are people who haven’t a real clue who you are. Why do you listen to them? Is it popularity? What is it that draws you to them? What value do they provide in your life?

Quite often I find myself not asking these important questions – and every time I drift away from asking these great questions I find my life grows noisier. That’s not good for me. It’s distracting.

Part of my 2011 plan is to further restrict the voices in my head – and my life. And I don’t plan to allow the cool kids to dictate the voices I value most. Quite often I find them among the most boring voices anyway.

Besides, I find the most value in listening to people who care about my life – and those willing to let me care about theirs.

Who do you listen to – and how do you decide?

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]]> http://bulanetwork.com/episode-73-who-do-you-listen-to/feed/ 0 http://bulanetwork.com/how-do-you-handle-bad-news/ http://bulanetwork.com/how-do-you-handle-bad-news/#comments Sun, 09 Jan 2011 22:52:57 +0000 Randy Cantrell http://bulanetwork.com/?p=3089

I was recently asked this question. I began to think about it and more closely examine my own dealings with bad news. Like you, I’ve often found myself feeling pretty good, but all of a sudden an email arrives, or a phone call is taken – and everything changes in an instance. We all have troubles. We all have to deal with them so we can push on in our life. Surrender isn’t an option.

Success builds. It often starts very small. And it can take longer than you suspect, but tenacity, perseverance and determination pay off over time. Maybe it’s your first blog reader, or your first podcast subscriber, or your first interested prospect. Micro-momentum is surprisingly common among successful people. It’ll work the same way for you.

Happy New Year 2011. I hope you build micro-momentum that morphs into something big.

P.S. This is the Gordon Theater in downtown Baton Rouge circa 1972. This is where I first saw Jimmy Buffett perform at a midnight concert (I tell the story in the video above).

copyright on the photo from East Baton Rouge Parish Library

Do you think it’s too late to plan for the new year? Procrastinators of the world, unite. Now that we can almost see 2011 it’s time to gaze into that crystal ball and see what next year looks like. Better yet, it’s time to gaze into that ball and see what we’re going to do with the new year.

I’d love to tell you there is a secret ingredient to successful planning for any new year (or new week or month). I’m sure there are tactics and strategies that some people find useful, but I’m a bit like a jazz musician when it comes to these things. I improvise. Not carelessly. Or haphazardly. But I like to adjust on the fly by being able to move – quickly.

Your success in planning hinges on doing what works for you. And that ain’t easy. Because knowing ourselves is among the toughest assignments of all. I encourage you to sit down by yourself and gather your thoughts. Then, sit down with your spouse or the person who is closest to you (that special somebody who means the most to you), and ask them what they think – not about your plans – but about you! See if they can shed some light on how you prefer to work, who you prefer to work with, the kind of interactions you most seek, and all that stuff that makes us tick. Wise counsel helps making planning better. Seek it.

In episode 69 I gave you a few questions that still are valid in helping us plan:

1. What do you want to do?

2. Who do you want to interact with?

3. What do you most love to know? What do you most love to know how to do?

4. What do you most love to learn?

5. Is there something – anything – that trumps all other pursuits?

6. Can you find people who will pay you for that knowledge?

I add a final question in today’s show. Listen and find out what it is. It’s become one of the most important questions for me as I try to plan my new year.

Thanks for listening.

Right Click Here To Download The Audio

“Everything I do is strategic,” says the marketer. I’ve only been involved in business since the early 1970′s so my experience is limited. In over 38 years of sales, marketing and business building I’ve never met anybody willing to tell such an enormous lie.

I don’t trust people who tell me they do everything with full intent and strategy. Superman, Spiderman nor Batman do that. We’re all taking actions, reacting and adjusting. To assume that we can move with purpose 100% of the time is to be deluded that we’re in full command of life’s events, circumstances and outcomes. We’re not. Life subjects us all to variables that foil our plans and strategies.

But…still we plan. And we should.

Go ahead and dog-pile me if you’d like. I’ve not yet planned for 2011. I’m doing it now, and it’s already December. I’m not delaying this because I’m lazy. I’m delaying it because I wanted to get closer to 2011. Sometimes clarity is a result of moving closer. Think of it as a near-sightedness kind of a thing. I needed to get closer to 2011 for some things to become more focused.

Today’s show is part personal and part “let’s see if this helps you, too.” It’s not too late to sit down and plan your 2011. Don’t be stymied by the people who tell you that every action you take should be part of some grander strategy. It’s just not true. If it were, I’d stay in bed.

Resources

• Charlie Gilky provides some cool planning templates. Here are the ones he produced for December 2010.
• Here is Charlie’s free planner page on his website, Productive Flourishing. Subscribe.

Let’s approach our planning with a series of questions designed to get at the heart of what drives us. In today’s show I discuss about 7 such questions. These should give you a framework to help in your annual planning. They have the added benefit of serving to be a barometer even as we get deep into 2011. Plans are fluid. They evolve. And change. These questions can help.

Thanks for listening. Tell me about your plans for 2011.

Call the 24-hour audio feedback line at 214-736-4406.

By the way, yes – I do indeed have a bad cold. I’m not attempting to sound like Barry White. It’s just a happy benefit that hits me when I get a bad cold. Ooh, baby, baby! Baby, right on!

Right Click Here To Download The Audio

People who desperately need to lose weight are often asked by a nutritionist or physician to keep a food diary. Daily they write down everything they put in their mouth. It’s a powerful tool to show them the truth about how many calories they’re consuming. Most overweight people don’t realize how many calories they’re eating. The diary shows them the reality of where they are. It becomes a tool to show them how they can improve.

Your work-flow – your schedule – is a problem. Efficiency is never operating at full-strength in our lives. We can always do better.

Today, I want to encourage you to keep a work-flow diary so we can tackle the speed bumps that get in your way. Success is elusive enough when we’re chasing it with focused intensity. It’s impossible to find if we’re not taking the proper actions, and if we’re neglecting to take meaningful action consistently over time.

Consider how good it always feel when you look back at something you accomplished. Wouldn’t you love to have that feeling more? There’s no better time to start increasing the frequency of that feeling. Let’s do it now. Let’s start today!

Right Click Here To Download The Audio

Jack Nicholas, famed golfer, once remarked that a successful shot consisted of 50% visualization, 40% set up and only 10% swing. I’m sure that was true, for him. After all, he’d already perfected (for the most part) his swing. He had likely spent thousands of hours working on his swing. You could put a golf club in my hand – I’ve played golf twice in my life – and I promise you visualization would do me no good. I could envision the perfect flight of the ball, but there’s no way I could swing to execute such a shot. It’s the classic case of a successful person uttering the TRUTH, but people who lack his ability, skill and expertise misconstrue it. It sounds so easy when Jack gives us that formula.

It’s not Jack’s fault. Easy is in the ear of the hearer. It’s in the eye of the beholder.

We’re all enticed with the EASY BUTTON. Staples has a tagline that compels people shopping for office supplies to shop with Staples, “That Was Easy.” It’s an attractive message, and one I’m sure Staples can deliver on. Of course, it’s not something Jack could (or would even try to) deliver on. He made that statement from his perspective. You and I don’t quite share the same perspective.

Enter the dragon, the problems that often plague us.

It sounds simple. It sounds easy. When we find out it’s not, we often get depressed, discouraged and disillusioned. The expert, the guru, the successful person offers up advice that sounds marvelous. And simple. It is, from where they sit. They’ve endured the knife fight, as Mat Kearney calls it. I love this sentence on the bio page of his website, “I was traveling with a friend celebrating what felt like victory after a five-year-long knife fight to establish myself as a new artist.” Mat lives in Nashville, the land of knife-fight victims who have yet to establish themselves. They have a different perspective than Mat, but maybe part of Mat’s genius is being able to hang onto the knife-fight feeling. Buy his music (no, I’m not an affiliate; just a rabid fan).

The fact is, those folks who are established – and even soaring ever higher – can’t fight your fight. They fought their own and emerged victorious. It’s why people are frustrated when the successful author says, “Write and publish a book and you can be paid 1000 times for something you produced once.” True dat. But it’s far easier to say than do.

So much of the battle is fought in our head. The biggest dragon of them all may be our own mind. This Matrix-like life kills many desires, dreams and ambitions. Understand you’re in a Matrix. Things aren’t as they seem. It all depends on where you’re at in the knife-fight. Is the fight over? Are you dead, or standing? Are you in the middle of the fight? Have you yet to engage in the fight? All those questions matter. Wrap your mind around them. Most of all, get off your butt and fight. It may kill you, but otherwise, how will you ever know if you could win the fight?

Let me give you about 20 minutes worth of my view on such matters in this short special episode. I hope it encourages you to get on track doing the thing you’d most like to do.

Thanks for listening.

Right Click Here To Download The Audio

Do you feel alone? Do you dream about how terrific it would be if you could connect with somebody who gets you? Somebody who could help you?

We all need relationships. Our very best relationships are those where we benefit the other person and where we’re benefited by them. We both are made better by our interactions together.

I confess that some years ago I went out of my way to help a friend. He was a professional friend, somebody I had known for years. He had always been a man who was self-absorbed. A taker. But still, I answered the call when he asked me to do him a very large favor. It was a business favor that benefited him in some major ways. Not only did I answer his request for help, but I did such a good job that it resulted in a very positive life change for him and his family. Did I get any acknowledgment from him, a “thank you” even? No. And I wasn’t surprised because he had never done that. This man lives his life expecting others to serve him.

I decided I no longer wanted to be part of his stable of slaves. I told him that I was no longer going to answer his calls for help. I told him I was ridding my life of toxic people. Yes, I told him why. And I followed through. I ended the relationship and I’m better for it. Sometimes we can add to our life by subtracting those things (and people) that distract us, and drain us.

My conclusion then, and now, is to invest in people who most need it – and those who contribute to my life, if only by their appreciation and graciousness. Grace is lost art in our lives. I want more of it in my life. I have found that some people help me grow and others drain me.

Relationships. Connections. Engagement.

We hear these words daily. They’re great words. They have deep meanings. I believe strongly in each of them.

But not everyone is a fit candidate for your life. Not everyone will appreciate you, or even listen to you. It can be difficult to find like-minded people. But you must try.

For the past year I’ve set about to find such people. I’ve had a few ideas in mind, using the “ideal candidate” sort of mindset. Click play and listen to today’s short special episode. Lord willing, next week I’ll be coming to you live from The Yellow Studio. Funny enough, a buddy who I have helped is helping me. We help each other. It’s how our relationship works. It’s why our relationship works.

Resources and other stuff mentioned in today’s show:

• Blue Yeti USB microphone
• Samson GoMic
• Napoleon Hill’s, “Think and Grow Rich”
• Linkedin Groups
• Meetup.com
• Steve Farber – in another life he was Vice President and Official Mouthpiece of The Tom Peters Group

Right Click To Download The Audio

We shoot from the hip when we neglect to plan. Our lives are guided more by impulse and first blush reactions when we shoot from the hip. Sometimes it works out. Many times it doesn’t. Still we often fail to pre-think our actions.

It’s Easier To Dream Than To Plan

Daydreaming is natural for all of us. We’ve done it since we were small children. The world classifies it as “make believe.”

I was born in Oklahoma. We moved away when I was in the middle of third grade, but I remember how folks were into OU Sooner football. Naturally, I became a fan, too. When the games were over kids would hit the yard and begin our own football game. All of us would make believe we were the Sooner stars at the time. Bud Wilkinson’s players had nothing on us. Make believe was very real during cool fall days as we ran among the leaves to score. None of us were planning to ever get a scholarship to play football one day at OU. We were just having fun pretending.

Pretending

Pretending fuels our imaginations. It also creates fertile soil for brilliance to shine. However, the danger of pretending is the more we do it, the more we keep doing it. That can stall moving past it onto more productive thinking.

The creativity we experience as children is enhanced by our carefree ability to pretend. Children will do it openly and without reservation. As adults we’re more reserved about it – keeping it to ourselves, living in our heads. Children pretend by acting it out. We played football in the yard pretending to be OU Sooner football players. But we were still playing football. We weren’t just sitting around thinking about it. Adults may daydream of being Sooner football players, but they’re doing it in their head – sitting at a desk, staring into a computer, eyes fixated on their college fantasy team.

I strongly suspect there is more value in pretending when the imagination is not limited to our mind space. Acting it out encompasses our emotions, our mind and our body. There’s power in movement. Kids know how to move. Adults, not so much.

So What?

Where am I headed with all this? It seems to me that far too many people today are daydreaming of success. We daydream of how wonderful it might be to own a lake house, or be rid of our credit card debt. We daydream about all kinds of things – from owning that new MacBook Air that Steve Jobs showed off yesterday, or owning a new car or truck. We daydream of earning an extra $500 a month to at long last, breaking the six-figures a year income level. Others daydream of being thinner and more healthy. Or of finding the perfect mate. You name it, we daydream about it. It’s part of the fabric of being human.

I’m fond of all this stuff actually. What I’m not so fond of – in my own life and in the lives of those I care about – is the failure to actively pursue the objects of our daydreaming. It’s rather depressing to see the lack of motion – the lack of movement – as we do nothing more than shoot from the hip, blinding putting one foot in front of the other, hoping against hope that today might be our lucky day when we vote for Pedro and all of our wildest dreams come true.

Voting for Pedro doesn’t work though. And our dreams never seem to come true. But still…we dream. We just dream.

And our dreams grow to define us. Dreamers. Not doers. Just dreamers. Shooting from the hip day after day expecting to hit a target. A target we never really take careful aim at. Is it really a target if you only dream of it?

Becoming A Marksman

I watched with interest some months back as a group of talented, experienced marksman entered a reality show contest where they were put through some rigorous games. Each person had a specialty. Some were skillful with handguns while others had made a name for themselves in rifles. From day to day the games changed, sometimes feeding into the strengths of some, and the weaknesses of others. At the end, the show would reveal a winner – the person most capable of achieving high marks consistently over the course of the entire show.

I’m not a gun guy. Never have been. But I can appreciate the skill demanded of being a marksman. By definition, these are people able to hit what they aim at. The mark is the target. More often than not, even when they were up against clock, they were able to hit the target. The component of time changed everything as each person was required to not only hit the target or accomplish the shooting challenge, but they were also trying to do it faster than their competitors. Those two components would determine the winner.

Our lives aren’t much different. We face those same components: hitting what we aim at and doing it faster than others. And I suppose part of the problem arises when we constantly hear the banter of today’s pundits telling us how we can achieve success today. Most of us pay particular attention to the voices we find most trustworthy or credible.

• Just ship it
• Just make it “good” enough
• Just get it out there
• Content is king
• Content has to be great
• Give it away for free

How do we make sense of these things (there are many, many more)?

They seem contradictory. And often times they are. We’re told it’s the new rules of how today’s world works. But the fact is, it’s not working for many people. Many of us are confused. And depressed because our dreams aren’t coming true. Many are no closer today than we were when we started. And some of us started years ago. What has happened? What went wrong?

I suspect those questions will demand more than a single blog post to even consider, much less answer. However, I have found some common problems among people, including myself. You see, I’m no better than you. I’m no more immune to these trappings than you. And you know what? Neither is anybody else. That includes all those folks you follow, friend and admire. Many of them were in the living hell of what Pam Slim calls, “cubicle nation” just a few years ago. It begs the question, “How did they escape?”

Well, I can tell you that they didn’t escape by putting their head down on their desk in their cubicle dreaming of what life might be like beyond it. They did something. It’s the something that drives people crazy. It’s the something that gives us all the questions. What did they do? How did they do it?

We want the owner’s manual to life that we’re convinced others got, but somehow we never did. The truth is, there is no such manual. The truth is, we’re all just figuring it out as we go. The truth is, shooting from the hip can result in us shooting our feet – or it can result in us taking meaningful, fast action to chase down our dreams.

Permit me to leave you with a few action steps that may help you better pursue whatever dreams you constantly think about. I hope to help you avoid hitting your feet (or worse yet, your head).

1. Keep thinking about your ideal life. Keep playing like you’re a star football player – or whatever else thrills you, no matter how impractical it may seem. You don’t have to chase all the impractical daydreams of your life, but you need to maintain a mind capable of extraordinary thought. Suppressing creative imagination won’t help. Rather, keep pretending. Just don’t stop there.

2. What do you have the ability to do right now – today? Don’t focus on what you don’t know. Don’t think about what you’d like to learn. Today, take action based on the wealth of knowledge and skill you have right now. Close that knowing-doing gap by doing what you already know. Hint: you don’t have to be madly in love with it. You just have to know how to do it, and have a reasonable degree (you determine that, not me) of enjoyment from it. No, it needn’t be your passion or most fun thing ever. Just focus on something you don’t dread doing.

3. Stop getting hung up with finding your passion or your calling. Too many people are failing to take meaningful action because they’re still living in their head thinking of passion and calling. It’s a waste of time. Literally. Quit it. You know who you are. You know what you enjoy. You know what skills you have. You know what you’re confident doing. You know what you dread and hate. Take action based on those facts. Let the rest happen in time. Today, you must act based on what you know to be true for you.

4. Figure out a plan. Create a strategy to get from where you are to where you’d like to be. Like driving to a place you’ve never been before, map it out. Figure out the main roads. We don’t set out to drive to some place new by trying to find the most obscure route. We look for the most obvious route. You must do the same thing. Look for the most obvious way to get to where you want to go. Put it on paper. My advice is to avoid high tech tools and use physical paper and a pen or pencil. Use your hand to create the plan. I’m biased, but I rather think when our hand creates the words, the diagrams, the maps – we’re more fully engaged than when we use our computer. I could be wrong. Why don’t you try it though and see if you don’t agree? Plus, if we do it in a notepad (my favorites are Field Notes, Moleskine Notebooks or Reporter’s Notebooks) we can go back and look at it over and over, refining it as we go.

5. Concentrate only on the first steps. Those first actions are the most important so don’t get ahead of yourself. You’re in your car headed to a new place you’ve never been. You have your map. Do you concentrate on the next turn or are you looking at the last turn? Your life is no different. That first turn means everything. It determines if you’ll be able to get to where you’re going. The last turn is of no consequence if you miss the first turn. Avoid skipping to the last chapter of your plan. Stick with the present. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Worry about today.

6. When you make a wrong turn – and you will – adjust the navigation. A few days ago a friend flew in from Nashville. We took her to her hotel and my navigation told me to make a right turn. I missed it. Traffic was heavy, we were engaged in conversation and I simply blew past the turn. It happens. I didn’t melt down in despair. We simply adjusted the navigation and made our way to her hotel. Yes, it took a bit longer. Yes, we had to drive a bit out of our way. But what’s the option? There is no option. If you want to get to where you’re going you must simply find an alternative route to get there. Don’t complain. Don’t whine. Don’t give up. As the US Marine Corp is fond of saying, “Improvise!” Adjust as you go, but don’t limit those adjustments to merely thinking about it. Act differently. Make the turns required to get to where you’re going.

7. Don’t stop moving forward until you get there. Daily you’ll hear people tell you, “Hey, buy my map. You’ll get there quicker.” Ignore it. Do what you know and keep at it. If you were to stop at every convenience store or gas station as you drove to a new destination, seeking the advice, “How can I get to _________?” you’d be swamped with different answers. One might tell you to take this back road. Another might tell you to stay on the 4-lane highway. Still another might tell you to go a longer way to avoid traffic. Each would have their own bias and opinion on how best to get there. You know what? One of them might have a better solution than the one you mapped out, but the problem is – you have no way of knowing which one unless you tried them all.*

*THIS IS WHAT MOST PEOPLE DO. It’s why they spend too much money, waste too much time and get nowhere. They’re too busy listening to experts instead of taking responsibility for their own lives and their own actions. Whose driving your car anyway? If it’s you, then take the wheel and get on with it.

8. The destination isn’t final. I love where I live. Home is home. For all of us. But sometimes we venture out. We drive long distances. We take airplanes, ships and motorcycles. We go places. We’re always on the move physically. Be on the move with your life. Always forward. Always expanding. Always growing. Our imaginations, our creativity, our success depends on our ability to not stop growing. Growth requires a new plan, a new destination and pushing ourselves like never before. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable because we’ve never been there before. We always adapt – quickly. Think of every new city you’ve visited. Within 2 days or less, you feel pretty comfortable. And you’ve never been there before. That’s how all the destinations in life are. Embrace it. Enjoy it.

Have you ever been behind the wheel of your car, driven a number of miles, and suddenly realized you have no recollection of the past 10 miles you’ve traveled?

That’s the power of habitual behavior. We mindlessly, but competently go about our business without thinking.

Last Sunday I woke up, got ready for church and stared into the mirror to tie my tie – then realized, I hadn’t washed my face. How did that happen? I wondered if I had brushed my teeth. Yep, the tooth brush was wet. Why had I done one and not the other?

Every morning of my life I brush my teeth first thing. Yes, I brush my teeth before I even relieve my bladder. And washing my face comes next. But for some reason, I lost my mind last Sunday. It threw me for a loop. My daily habit had let me down. It’s so rare it baffled me!

Habit. Mindlessly doing what we’ve always done.

If 95% of the behavior marketers ignore is habit, then I think it’s safe to say that 95% of the behavior we ignore in our life, when it comes to productivity – is also HABIT.

Are you satisfied with your present work flow? Are you hitting on every cylinder in your work performance?

If you’re achieving stellar results, or if you’re struggling to hit the bare minimum, it’s likely you’re interested in doing even better. We can all do better. We’re especially attracted to change when we realize that what we’re currently doing isn’t working for us.

More often than not, what we do daily is what hinders our success. We sabotage ourselves because we simply don’t apply ourselves as effectively or efficiently as we should.

That’s what today’s show is about. Here are some of the resources mentioned in today’s show:

• I’m an OU Sooner football fan. That’s only relevant because OU defeated Texas this past weekend. So this year, Sooner fans can gloat. What does that have to do with productivity? Well, everything if you’re a fan and your team wins. Or loses. Emotions play a vital role in our productivity. My son-in-law, an OU graduate, gets in a major funk when OU loses. He’s not alone.
• Michael Gerber has a podcast. It sounds terrible, but he’s got one over at BlogTalk Radio. Is it me, or is he kind of a weird dude in audio? I love his books, but these podcasts are downright strange. Of course, the audio is so bad I can’t listen, but I’m an sound snob.
• The 95% of Behavior Marketers Ignore, HABIT by Neale Martin
• Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen
• Ready For Anything: 52 Productivity Principles For Work & Life by David Allen
• PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success by Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman
• Field Notes Brand notebooks. Use these to keep your time diary. They’re wonderful. I’m also fond of their tagline, “I’m not writing it down to remember it later. I’m writing it down to remember it now.”
• Free Fridays – each Friday I try to carve out a few 30-minute time slots to give away to anybody who wants them. Visit my Tungle page, click on any “available” time slot on Friday and it’ll be yours, FREE.

Thanks a lot for listening.

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Bob Prosen wrote the book, Kiss Theory Good Bye. Bob’s a Dallas/Ft. Worth guy, but that’s not why I’m using chapter one of his book as a bit of a guide for today’s show.

The book was published in 2006. That’s when I read it. Regularly I pull books off my shelf and revisit  them. That happened with Kiss Theory Good Bye recently.

I’d been making notes on work flow as I attempted to help people find a rhythm of working that would accelerate their performance. As I thumbed through the book the first items in chapter one seemed to fit the current project nicely.

The title of chapter one is “Stuck In Status Quo: Five Crippling Habits That Attack From Within.” Bob’s book takes great aim at helping organizations and leaders tackle a variety of problems that stymie performance. I found it easy to morph the author’s ideas into meaningful applications for individuals. That’s what I’ve done in today’s show.

Here are the five crippling habits. See if any of these hit you square in the forehead.

1. Absence of clear directives

2. Lack of accountability

3. Rationalizing inferior performance

4. Planning in lieu of action

5. Aversion to risk and change

This subject of work flow is urgent for many people. People sometimes are paralyzed because they don’t know what to do, or claim they don’t. And more often than not, people find it easier to do nothing than to do something – even if the something is the wrong thing to do!

The problem is inactivity breeds more inactivity. Have you ever slept too much and the rest of the day you’re just tired all over? You want more sleep, even though you got 10 hours last night. That’s how many people live their lives. They’ve reclined on the sofa, nodded off and now they don’t want to get up. Contrast that with the work out fiend in the gym who is pumping lots of iron. He keeps on throwing on additional weight as he pushes himself harder and harder.

Both people are in a flow. One is constantly at rest, getting nothing done. He doesn’t have the energy to get anything done. He’s tired. The other guy is working his muscles as hard as he can. He’s driven to push the limits of his own strength.

It’s time to take away the excuses and eliminate the things that may be crippling you from taking meaningful action – action that could change your life in remarkable ways!

Here’s a list of resources and other things I mention in today’s show:

• Bob Rosen is the author of the book, Kiss Theory Good Bye
• FLOW is a concept that was introduced by Mihaly Csikszentmihal in his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (the concept has applications in a wide array of activities, but I’d encourage you to consider it in your work ‘flow’)
• Half Price Books is a Dallas-based retailer of bargain and used books

Thanks for listening.

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Lonely, huh? Sitting there all by yourself. Reading the blog of a guy nobody has ever heard of. Listening to a guy in Dallas, with a bit of an Okie accent. But there you sit. All by yourself. Yes, I have no audience. Well, there’s you. You count. You matter. So on with the show because even if you’re out there all by yourself – that’s enough for me. For now.

Maybe you’re like me when I went to a midnight concert to see a guy and a guitar. I was still in high school. Nobody had heard of this guy, but I had heard a song or two on “Loose Radio” – the local album rock/alt country station serving the college town where I lived. His name was Jimmy Buffet. There may have been 100 people at the show. The tickets were $1.02. A radio station, FM102, promoted the show.

I did have a friend sitting beside me, but it was sort of a lonely concert. It would be over a decade before Parrotheads would fill entire stadiums. Everybody’s gotta start somewhere. I saw Jimmy live before most had ever heard of him. Kinda cool, huh? For me. Not for Jimmy. Building a fan base is hard work.

Today’s show really focuses on one question: “What do you believe to be true?”

There are some things I know to be true. There are other things I believe to be true. For instance, I know it’s true that I have no audience – so far as numbers are concerned. Sometimes I run across a person who is lamenting that their blog has been around for a year and they’ve only got 3000 subscribers. They’re desperate to reach 5000, but finding it’s really hard. I’ll click on the link to their blog and look it over, saying to myself, “How in the world did THEY get to 3000? I can’t even get to 10.”

Usually I laugh. At myself. And my almost complete (but not quite) lack of interest in techniques, tactics and strategies that I know (another truth I know) would help. Critical things like SEO, PPC, article marketing, guest blogging, posting 3-5 new posts daily, creating a compelling ethical bribe, blah, blah, blah. I know about these things. But to say I’m uninterested…well, that’s a gross understatement. I’d rather mow my yard than get engrossed in SEO. And I don’t mow my yard. My wife does. She loves yard work. Perhaps I’ll introduce her to SEO.

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One day you’ll be able to brag to your friends, “Man, I remember listening to him when NOBODY knew who he was.”

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Happy Labor Day Weekend!

This week I’ve been thinking quite a lot about the price of success. The dialogue was sparked by the question, “How badly do you want it?” I’ve found myself being a bit contrary with those who hold the notion that success is only found by those willing to sacrifice everything. Some of the conversation was sparked by this motivational speech found on YouTube. “You have to want success as badly as you want to breathe.”

What is success? How would you define success? We may not all agree on the definition. The common things I hear are “money” and “freedom.” Rarely do people disassociate those. More often than not people assume that more money brings more freedom, although it’s not necessarily true.

Terry Dean wrote a blog post about how people need to be careful in their pursuit of Internet success. The post is entitled, “Blind Drivers and Broke Gurus.” Terry’s advice is to practice defensive driving. I agree.

And on top of these two happenings I ran across a discussion – a dog-piling really – on a creative type who had produced an ebook he was selling. Some in his creative community were taking issue with his daring. Trying to achieve success with his art through sales and marketing seemed heresy to some. They’ve view people like Terry Dean and other marketers much the same as they’d view a carny. Success for some of them is found in simply performing their craft and  believing (hoping) that success (defined however they define it) will find them.

Discussions about success are everywhere. From Internet marketing to cartooning to web design to video production to any human endeavor. What’s the price of success? How much does success cost? What must be sacrificed for success?

When my children were growing up I used to speak with them regularly about the power of having choices. Perhaps it was my own variety of freedom, but as their dad, I encouraged them to put themselves in positions where they had choices. I’d talk to them about how awful it was to have your back against the wall, with no choices. And I’d tell them that sometimes life will pin your back to the wall. But if you can live in a way to give yourself options, you’ll be able to reach higher heights of happiness and achievement. I believed it then. I believe it more so now.

One of the major components of my speech would focus on not being a victim. Control your own destiny as much as possible. No, you’re not God. You don’t control all the circumstances of life, but the choices you make – the wisdom you display – will serve you well. Don’t expect anybody to simply hand you something because you think you deserve it. Earn it. Earn trust. Earn your reputation. Be somebody. Act like somebody.

It was a common sermon in our home. I still preach it every now and then, even though my kids are grown and married. I preach it because these people matter to me. I love them. I care about them. Success cannot be spoken of, in my life, unless there’s talk of fatherhood. And being a husband. Success in that regard is not measured with a dollar sign and decimal points.

Donald Miller wrote “A Million Miles In A Thousand Years.” If you haven’t read the book, do. You’ll thank me for steering you to it. He begins the book with a bit of a story and a challenge. It speaks to the subject of our chasing success, our contentment and mostly, our dedication to writing a better story for our own lives.

I confess that Donald’s book is, so far, the most profound book I’ve read this year – and I’ve read lots of books this year. Success truly is defined by our ability to write a better story for our lives. Each of us craft our own story. That’s the power within each of us. You can’t write my story for me. I can’t write yours.

Perhaps the question isn’t, “How badly do you want it?” – maybe a better question is, “What do you want?”

As we begin this holiday Labor Day Weekend, today’s show is my small contribution toward helping myself – and hopefully some of you – in finding ways we can write better stories by living better lives.

Regards,

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Have you ever wondered how so much information is being produced by so many people who seem to spend tons of time on Facebook and Twitter? I’m sometimes fascinated by people who seem to always be in Twitter no matter what time of day or night I log in – but they’ve written books, countless blog posts, recorded videos and podcasts. I suspect it’s just another Wonder of the World. Perhaps they’ve conquered the time space continuum.

I do know the streams of information flooding my life often cause me to fall. Like a failed attempt to wade through fast moving water, I’m knocked to my knees, eventually going over the cliff where all information eventually goes! I prefer to think of it as a cliff instead of the toilet. Same difference perhaps. And I know not all information is toilet material, but we all know much of it is.

Once I’ve fallen, it’s quite difficult to get back up. Distractions do that. They knock us to our knees – or put us on our butts. Our ability to get back on our feet is about as athletic as a cow on ice. The flow of information and connectivity to the outside world is so intense we often prefer to stay down.

Maybe you’ve experienced it. You sit down at your computer, or with your iPhone. You launch Twitter and Facebook. Texting is constant. Time is now invisible. It quietly disappears, along with your day – and your productivity. Sadly, it becomes a habit of being unproductive.

Today’s show hopes to contribute to the conversation on how to more effectively deal with distractions. I hope to help you get something meaningful done today! I also hope you’ll reciprocate by helping me get something done, too.

Thanks for listening.

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Dan Sullivan is The Strategic Coach. He operates his coaching business out of Toronto. His work focuses primarily around a concept he calls Unique Ability ®.

Catherine Nomura wrote a book published by Dan’s company entitled, Unique Ability ® – Creating The Life You Want. You can purchase the hard copy or the downloadable PDF version of the book. I highly recommend you buy it and read it. I purposefully saved it for this last episode because I think Dan’s work is so significant that it can help guide you along this journey of self-discovery.

That’s the good news. The bad news is you’ll have to read it, study it and act on it. That’s not so easy.

Finding out what we’re best at isn’t so clear for some of us. I rather envious of people who are doing what they say they were “meant to do.” You know the kind. They have found something they’re passionate about. They can’t imagine doing anything else. They’re good at it and it’s as natural as breathing for them.

That’s not really happened for me. You?

That’s why I’m still searching. Oh, there are a variety of things that I’m good at. And I enjoy them. But that one thing that just consumes me – making time just become irrelevant – well, let’s just say I’m still searching for that. My story isn’t so uncommon I fear. I had career success early on. A few detours along the way crushed me, but I found my way back – thanks mostly to the help of a supportive family. I cracked income barriers I never dreamed I’d crack. I had more success. And still more. But I’m the guy who has spent almost a lifetime – over 35 years – building somebody else’s dreams and business. So last year – after doing side projects for many years – I decided it was time to dive in headlong and start to build my own dreams.

Regrets? Of course. You don’t live to be 53 without some regrets – unless you’re foolish. I’m not chasing foolishness. I’m rather fond of pursuing wisdom and knowledge – in that order.

Many years ago I did discover one truth about myself. I find it naturally easy to help somebody else identify opportunities and strengths. I’m especially talented at business building and helping people find ways to earn more money. Where others see a mountain of difficulties, I often see killer opportunities. Easy stuff for me – when I’m looking at YOUR life. Not so easy when I’m looking at myself. It’s that proverbial blind spot that propels me to study this important subject. I hope my sharing helps you find your strength. Better yet, I hope it gives you an extra portion of courage so you’ll chase your dreams for all you’re worth!

My best to you – and the life you hope to build.

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The Truth About you by Marcus Buckingham

Jeffrey Gitomer is a terrificly engaging trainer who shows salespeople how to be more effective. In his live seminars he’ll often ask, “Who is the most important person in the world?” The room full of salespeople will give what they think is the desired response, “The customer!”

Gitomer will then chastise the crowd and say, “No, you don’t understand. There are two people left alive on the planet – you and the customer – one of you must die. Which will it be?”

Again, the crowd responses, this time correctly, “THE CUSTOMER!” Bingo.

“Now that we’ve established that YOU are the most important person in the world we can get on with it.” He’s right. YOU are the most important person in the world. At least YOU think you are.

And that’s not some high-minded idea or an arrogant belief. It’s reality. For each of us. Our lives are important to us. It’s the reason the subject of finding our strengths is so urgent. We want to create the best life possible – for ourselves.

In today’s show I share some wisdom from Marcus Buckingham’s book, The Truth About You. We’re continuing our journey down the path toward finding answers to our most important questions about where are strengths are. Marcus will give us two important phrases to help us: “I feel strong when…” verus “I feel weak (drained, bored) when…”

Thanks for listening.

*Correction: Gitomer isn’t out of Raleigh. He’s out of Charlotte, NC. I’m sorry, Jeffrey!

My parents taught me to behave. They wanted me to act responsibly and behave in a way that would make them proud. Not ashamed.

A buddy of mine who grew up in rural Oklahoma recalls his dad admonishing him, before he’d borrow the car to drive into “town,” – Act like somebody! Translation, behave yourself and make me proud.

We laugh about it, but it served us well to have parents who expected things of us. Not unreasonable things. Just things that any kid could deliver to parents. Don’t be stupid. Don’t be foolish. Don’t get into trouble. Be careful. Act like somebody!

Here I am 53 and I better understand the power of expectation. When nobody expects anything of us, that’s pretty much what we deliver. Nothing. It’s a pitiful place to be. I begin today’s show sharing with you some words Tom Rath wrote in his 2006 book, Vital Friends.

If you’ve not read the book, I’d urge you to. It’s a wonderful book, but I confess that I’m a bit of a Tom Rath fan. He begins the book the way I begin today’s show…with a discussion about expectations. How they’re important in shaping us. How they matter when we’re trying to discover our strengths.

You likely know his more famous work on StrengthFinder. If I’m not mistaken, that work is based largely on research done by the late Donald O. Clifton, who co-wrote Soar With Your Strengths, along with Paula Nelson.

The question seems so blazingly simple, but it’s among the hardest questions to answer, “What am I best at?”

What is it I’m meant to do? Where are my talents?

For some of us it’s not so much a matter of answering, “Why am I here?” As a Christian, I know why I’m here. God created us for His glory. I’m here for that purpose. The big picture isn’t so hard for me. It’s the smaller picture that often perplexes me.

I don’t suspect God cares what I do to earn a living for my family, as long as it doesn’t violate what He wants me to do. For instance, I couldn’t be a professional gambler. That violates God’s law against covetousness. So , there are some things that are quite easy for me to decide. But there are a host of other things that aren’t so easy. I suspect you sometimes feel the same way. That’s why I began this series.

Another book I reference in today’s show is the popular book by Donald Miller, A Million Miles In A Thousand Years. Add it to your reading list.

Thanks for sharing your time and attention with me. We’ll try to wrap this series up with our next episode. So make sure you come back to hear that one. Let’s get into it, shall we?

John Nese owns Galco’s Soda Pop Stop in Los Angeles. He’s pretty passionate about soda pop. His father operated the shop as a grocery store. John’s love is soda pop. Today, the store carries over 500 different flavors of soda pop. Pay close attention as he talks about his wish as a kid when he discovered a naturally carbonated spring.

Today we continue our discussion about a popular and compelling topic – soaring with our strengths. I know you’re anxious to find out what your strengths are. We’re all searching for the things we’re best suited for – the job, the enterprise, the art, the pursuit. Go here if you missed Part 1.

Don’t rush things though because first we have to make sure we’re not deluded. We’re all susceptible to thinking we’re strong in areas where we’re really weak. When we do that, we put a mountain in front of our strengths. We make it that much harder to soar with our strengths because we’re putting all our effort and energy into the wrong places.

First things first. We have to identify our weaknesses, then we have to properly manage them. Only then can we get on with the focus we need to identify and soar with our strengths. Listen to the very end of today’s show and you’ll be fully enlightened on why it’s important to go through this phase of our journey. Warning: it’s a powerful realization. It will propel us forward toward changing everything!

Thanks for listening,

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This week I begin a series of shows discussing the important topic of finding  and soaring with our strengths. I’ve taken the title from a 1992 book of the same title. It’s the last book listed below. And yes, it’s still being published in paperback. The book serves as a framework for this series. I originally planned to post this before releasing the first podcast in this series – but I decided to release both this post and the first episode together.

Sir Ken Robinson’s book, The Element, places such value on finding what you love most (your passion) that he subtitled the book, “How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything.”

If finding our passion changes everything – and I suspect Sir Ken is right – then don’t we owe it to ourselves to search diligently for it?

Here are some books for your consideration:

StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath

Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham

Go Put Your Strengths To Work by Marcus Buckingham

The One Thing You Need To Know by Marcus Buckingham

The Truth About You by Marcus Buckingham

The Element by Ken Robinson, Ph.D.

No More Dreaded Mondays: Ignite Your Passion – and Other Revolutionary Ways to Discover Your True Calling at Work by Dan Miller

48 Days to the Work You Love: Preparing for the New Normal by Dan Miller

Instinct: Tapping Your Entrepreneurial DNA To Achieve Your Business Goals by Thomas L. Harrison

Soar With Your Strengths by Donald O. Clifton & Paula Nelson

As you can see, there are lots of resources to help us in our journey toward self-discovery. But I’ll warn you. It’s not easy. And it may require that you spend some time alone. Many people are uneasy being alone, but unless you’re willing to disconnect enough to work on YOU…you’ll likely spend most of your life as a spectator. Nobody wins unless you participate by doing meaningful, positive work. The world is better when you contribute.

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REM wrote and performed one of the best songs ever when they released, Everybody Hurts.

It resonated with so many people because pain and hurt are common among all of us. None of us are immune.

The same goes for frustration, set backs and simply trying to find our own way. We’re not all in the same boat because no boat is big enough. Pain and hurt require the world’s largest fleet of ships to convey us all forward in life.

I started Bula Network and the notion of helping others back in 1997 as a part-time endeavor. Burned out from a life spent building businesses for others, I found myself tired of chasing dreams not my own. So I stepped away.

During that time I found myself immersed in a sport of kids. I loved it. It consumed me. It was a diversion from a life spent in sales, marketing and pushing businesses forward. It was personal. It was human connection where I was driven to impact the lives of kids. It was three years of devotion that were exhausting, but I have no regrets. They were years well spent.

Business and the art of selling have consumed my entire adult life. It started when I was just a kid myself. It now spans a 38 year career in business. Slightly more than a year ago I set about to make my tagline come true: helping people in the art of being remarkable. It’s a lofty goal for sure. But I’m devoted to it. What form it might ultimately make is still uncertain. I’m muddling my way through just like most people. Don’t let the smile fool you. I laugh plenty, but life isn’t one big comedy. There’s tragedy in all our lives.

I hope you’ll share some of your time and attention with me. Hit play and I’m almost certain you’ll find I’m not much different than you.

Everybody hurts, sometimes!

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

All the best,

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Go here to read Part 1.

The second half of the book dives into a variety of topics designed to help you find the job – and work – most meaningful to you. Chapter 6 goes into the myths of resumes. Here’s a list of them:

- Myth 1: A good resume and cover letter will get me the job.

- Myth 2: The candidate with the best education, skills and experience will always get the position.

- Myth 3: Getting a job is really a matter of who you know or being in the right place at the right time.

- Myth 4: Employers appreciate long resumes because more information saves time spent interviewing.

- Myth 5: Always put your salary requirements and history on your resume.

- Myth 6: Always close a cover letter with “I look forward to hearing from you.”

- Myth 7: The more resumes you send, the more you increase your chances of getting a job.

- Myth 8: Once you send your resume, all you do is wait.

Dan then gives the reader solid advice on how to construct an effective resume. He includes thoughts on references and all the details vital to making sure you create a resume that will help you put your best foot forward.

Chapter 7 is entitled “Finding Your Unique Path.” This chapter delves into the important task of looking at job markets with an eye toward opportunity. Dan even addresses the need for people to promote themselves when they’re searching for a job. But the advice isn’t limited to mere job searching. He also discusses transition situations where people may simply want to do something different. Sometimes these situations are foisted on people. They’re terminated or their job is eliminated and now they need to look at their skills and experience under a new light. Sometimes people simply feel the urge to make a change.

Lots of people feel anxious when it comes time for the interview. Chapter 8 is entitled, “Do they like me? Do I like them?” This is a comprehensive chapter on how to handle yourself in the interview. The author takes you from the preparation stage to the time when the interview is over and you prepare to leave. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that your first impression is the only one that matters. The impression you make when you leave may be equally or more important. Miller covers such nuances and gives the reader rock solid advice to help them shine during the interview.

By the time the reader gets to chapter 9 he’s fully anxious to tackle the really big question, “How much will they pay me?” The chapter is entitled, “Show me the money.” If the interview doesn’t make you anxious, negotiating your income causes many people to feel tense and uncomfortable. You must have some basic negotiating skills. The book is not a primer on negotiation, but in this chapter Dan does give us some advice on how to handle this sticky part of the job searching process.

The book carries a strong message of being productive. The amount of money you can earn is going to be directly associated with your ability to make money for the company. You must provide value in order to obtain value from the company. Making sure your goals match the goals of the offer is a critical component of landing the proper job.

The last few chapters are aimed at those people who don’t want to find a job. They’re at the point in their life where they prefer to launch their own enterprise. Being on your own – without the perceived safety net of a job (Miller urges the reader to avoid the trap of thinking security is found in any job) – may not be for you. Chapter 10 launches into these ideas with a strong, but simple question, “Do you have what it takes?”

The final two chapters wrap it all up. Chapter 11 is “Skunks, Rags and Candy Bars.” This chapter and the conclusion chapter (chapter 12) talk about how today’s working world is different than any time in the past. The new world we’re in gives us opportunities that simply weren’t possible in the past.

Throughout the book the reader is encouraged to look deep within themselves. Self-examination is a major component of finding the work you love, whether that’s for an employer or for yourself. Responsibility to construct your own life is something Dan Miller preaches constantly. Own your life. Make your life what you want it to be. Don’t relegate yourself to being a victim to others, or to your circumstances. If you don’t like your circumstances, change them. If you don’t like your life, create the life you want – one you will like. One you’ll love!

The book does not presuppose that you are wired one way or another. We’re all different. Miller understands this. The book is aimed at anybody who understands that work is being productive. It should be work that makes a positive impact in and on your life – and the lives of others, including your family. It’s not a book of rah-rah, but there are plenty of inspirational case studies and stories. It’s a book of actions and deadlines, as evidenced by the title.

Add it to your reading list and follow the action steps. Of course, there’s no guarantee you’ll find the work you love in 48 days, but if you don’t set the goal to find work you love, you’ll never find it. Aim high. Go far. Be remarkable!

For more information about Dan Miller visit his website, 48Days.com. There’s also an interactive group at 48Days.net.

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King Solomon was given the highest degree of wisdom by God. He wrote this in Eccl. 12:12 “And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.”

Before the printing press was invented Solomon observed the massive flow of information in the form of making books. Each year in America there are a couple hundred thousand books published each year. That count includes only the books that have an ISBN number. Self-published material may not be included in that number. It’s safe to assume the number is sufficiently higher.

What about podcasts? The growth is so vast I’m not sure anybody can put a proper number on the number of English speaking podcasts produced each year.

Digital ebooks? Impossible to count.

Digital information products? Also impossible and growing exponentially each year.

Membership sites with information that educates people on a vast array of subjects or pursuits? Tons and tons of these. And these include subscription based learned like Lynda.com.

According to Kevin Kelly in this post on The Technium dated February 20, 2006 he concluded, “On the time scale of decades and longer, information is the fastest growing thing on this planet.”

Dare any of us disagree with his conclusion, even though we’re now over 4 years further along the time line?

Knowledge is more vast than ever. Information is more accessible than ever. It’s also more freely available.

Google owns the majority of our head space when we begin to look for information. Our problems are often hoisted onto the shoulders of the Google search engine as we begin our quest to seek answers. My guess is that most of your queries result in hundreds of thousands of search results!

You’ve likely spent hundreds, perhaps thousands, on a variety of courses, recordings, books or seminars. How do you know when enough is enough? How do you know you’ve reached the point where you know enough?

Here’s a few things I reference in today’s show. Check them out and think about your own life. First, here’s an interview Dan Miller did with Chad Jeffers, the lead guitarist for Carrie Underwood. Next, here’s a young man in Nashville who is giving it go by trying to break into country music, Mitch Rossell. And then there’s Mat Kearney, whose biography sort of started this entire line of thinking for me lately. Of course, ten years ago the book, The Knowing-Doing Gap, served to enlighten me. It caused me to begin asking of myself, “Are you already doing what you know to do?” Forget what you don’t know. What if we just did what we already know to do?

We’re all on the journey trying to find our own way. I certainly don’t claim to have arrived. If you think I’m way out front, then you’re not paying close enough attention. Let’s just keep walking together. Eventually, we’ll figure out a few things, correct our course countless times and most importantly – we’ll get some cool stuff done!

Click play and let’s see if we can’t help figure out some of these things together.

P.S. Happy 30th Birthday to my son, our first born, Ryan! Yes, I was once a young father, pictured here with Ryan and his sister, Renae.

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Dan Miller’s book, 48 Days To The Work You Love, first appeared in 2004. Some months ago it was re-released as a revised edition. It was well worth reading five years ago. Perhaps it’s even more so today.

Dan Miller’s work all revolves around the belief that we should live in pursuit of our natural aptitude and what we care about most. This book – and its predecessor – serve as the core foundation for all of his work, including his podcast, workshops and more.

Last week I decided to revisit Dan’s work – this newly updated version of 48 Days. I thought it was time to dive back into some of the ideas I remembered from a few years ago while reading the first edition. I had purchased this new edition some weeks prior and it sat on my desk beckoning me until I dove in.

True confession time: I’m slightly more than halfway through the book as I write this blog post. I understand if you feel it’s improper to write about a book before you’ve finished it, but I have good reason. Two of them actually. One, I’m going to write a second, follow up post to this one. Two, the journey is quite often the point. Especially with a book like this one.

Dan Miller is a man of faith. That’s important. Some may accuse him of a God-based bias. That’s seems okay with Dan. He acknowledges it from the get go. However, this is not a book that belongs in the religious section of your local bookstore. Yes, there are numerous scripture references throughout. Yes, he refers to God and a Christian perspective. If that offends you, don’t read this book.

But if you’re looking for the Joel Osteen prosperity gospel to be preached in this book – well, just save your money and buy one of Osteen’s books. Miller does not preach such a message. Nor does he preach a life of leisure where people lounge around tropical waters drinking fruity drinks.

Miller advocates doing something with your life. Something meaningful. Something with lasting value. Something that serves not only your life, but others.

48 Days comes from Miller’s notion that we mere mortals could use a few extra days to accomplish remarkable things. He cites God’s use of 40 days to prepare people for something better.

- Noah’s life and the world were transformed after 40 days of the flood
- Moses spent 40 days on the Mount
- The Israelite spies spent 40 days scouting the Promised Land

He cites other scriptural references to 40 days and concludes, “I’m giving you 8 free days in the process to create your own plan. Take a break on Sundays and a couple of Saturdays. Don’t knock yourself out; just stay committed to this time frame to avoid the usual procrastination.”

Dan begins taking us on a journey of self-discovery. And while much of the book is written in a self-help, personal development style doesn’t mean it’s just another rah-rah book. No, it’s a book that demands heavy lifting on the part of the reader. The book isn’t difficult to read, but the urgings of the author are likely going to make active readers break a sweat.

The first sweat Miller asks you to break is a mental sweat. Self-examination isn’t much fun for most of us. We may rather prefer to live a life of delusion. All the baggage we bring with us to our work – and our entire life – is called into question. Rightfully so.

You can’t likely read a single page without some short story used to illustrate the point. The book is filled with short little inserts high-lighted by arrows. These are not read in line with the text of the book, but serve as self-contained snippets of inspiration. Additionally, Miller often cites the work of other authors and proves himself to be a well-read man. It also proves Miller spent thoughtful, significant time fleshing out his ideas and methods. This is not some over-simplified, crank-it-out-in-a-weekend book. Miller is not that shallow. Nor is his message.

Yes, I confess that I’m fond of Dan Miller. And his message. And his approach. The great thing about books, authors, speakers and other communicators – you can search out the ones with whom you can most easily connect. Social media – and things like podcasts – enable you to judge for yourself if Miller has a message, or delivery that resonates with you.

The message is simple, but profoundly difficult for many people. Find the most meaningful work possible. Find the work that best suits your natural talents and desires. Behave in ways that benefit your life most. Discover important things about yourself.

Sadly, many people will go through life struggling with these issues never having considered that they control their own destiny. Bad things happen to everybody. Some things are beyond our control. But not our behavior, our actions and our reactions. We have full command of those things, even when we decide to surrender them to others, or to circumstances.

Life is made up of choices. Mr. Miller urges us to make the wisest choices possible. And to get on with it. Stop wasting time. It doesn’t matter if you are in your 20′s or 70′s. Time will pass no matter our age, and if we’re able to build a better life that only lasts days – that’s better than wasting those days in misery. The reward can be the destination, but as is almost always the case – the journey provides much of the enjoyment and benefit. Dan serves as a terrific guide.

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