Lead your own tribe. Build your own community. Form relationships. Create great content. Build a list.

Recently, I was looking (and laughing) at photos of myself and my friends back when we were teenagers. Wearing wide ties. Bell bottom pants. And white shoes and white belts!

Oh, and polyester leisure suits! We can’t forget those stylish outfits.

Boy, did we look ridiculous. We had no idea how stupid we really looked.

Decades from now how might we view social media and all the other online relationship stuff? I have some opinions (you knew I would).

Those old photographs coupled with being unfollowed by a guy who has graced our presence here at Bula Network prompted today’s video episode. Yes, I returned the favor by unfollowing him. And if you think I’ll ever promote him or his work again, you are sorely mistaken.

Providing value. Being memorable. Serving. Those are the things that trump a Twitter following, Facebook friends or Google + circles. Why? Because it’s people impacting other people in meaningful ways. Whether it’s a business that serves customers, or a health professional that serves patients…those moments – “relationships” – are moments in time that can have a lasting impact. That doesn’t mean we’re now friends – in the traditional sense – with the dental hygienist who cleans our teeth. She’s performed a great value to us though. Our relationship with her is bound by our need and her ability to serve that need.

Such relationships are far more honest than many online relationships that we currently think are important. When my “friend” unfollowed me on Twitter was he kicking me to the curb? No, not really. The fact is, he needed to promote his work. He reached out to me to help him do that. I obliged. We chatted a few times on the phone and Skype, but promoting him and his work was always the focus of the conversation. He never expressed interest in my work. I never pursued him about my life, or my work. It was, however, a two-way relationship because I happily helped promote him. It’s reasonable that, when he was finished with me, our time together was over. But, because of the current “white belt” way of thinking, it can seem harsh and unfriendly. Frankly, it’s practical and more genuine.

He unfollowed me. I unfollowed him back. We’re done, for now. Will he ever enter my life again? I don’t know. But I have the memory of having helped him, if only in some small ways. He has the memory of spending time with me, having me help promote him. That’s enough. It’s okay. It’s how the real world works and I don’t resent it.

The current fashion is to chase numbers and amass a following, a tribe. Years from now we’ll look back and see a bunch of white belts and wonder, “What were we thinking?”

Have you seen this already? If so, watch it again. It’s so worthwhile.

You haven’t seen this before? Oh, man. Are you in for a terrific surprise.

Since seeing this for the first time around Labor Day I bet I’ve watched this a hundred times. I laugh every single time. It’s been viewed about 9 million times now.

When I first saw it I suspected it may have been staged. I was quite happy when I quickly found out it was innocent and real. The Huffmans got a new laptop and were trying to figure out the webcam. Their granddaughter got the video and posted it. The rest is history. YouTube fame happened quickly and for good reason. It’s the best 3 minutes of video I’ve seen all year. Hands down!

Read more here, here and here.

They also have a Facebook fan page.

Enjoy,

This is a great primer for folks who just don’t get social media or today’s Internet-connected world. Enjoy!

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My Grandsons

“It’s all about building relationships,” says the expert. “Businesses must build community.”

People flock to this trough like hungry swine, devouring every word as though their business lives depended on it. Obviously many business owners believe it.

It sounds reasonable. Right, even.

Besides, we all want to be liked, loved and in good relationships.

And who doesn’t want to be part of a community? Better yet, who doesn’t want to be the Pied Piper?

Build your own tribe. Lead that tribe. How cool is that – to be the Chief of your own tribe leading the rest of us around like simps unable to decide for ourselves?

In a world where everybody is an expert about something (some among us are expert at everything), it’s about building relationships.

No, it’s not.

It’s about sitting in my car recording today’s episode before my second workout of the day. Today’s episode was recorded late yesterday outside The Yellow Studio. That’s why today’s show is another special episode. You might think it’s special in other ways after you give it a listen.

Social media is a great resource that offers high value. It does not, however, offer the highest value. 

Have you ever been in a retail store being helped by somebody behind a counter…when the phone rings? The person, perhaps in mid-sentence with you, stops, picks up the phone and all of a sudden you’re a mere afterthought.

Have you ever sat in a restaurant with friends or family, but not been in the moment because you can’t avoid checking and posting to Facebook, Twitter, Google + or playing Words With Friends (friends who aren’t sitting at the same table)? If you’ve not done this, have you ever sat at a table with somebody who does?

Perhaps you’ve looked back over a day, a week or a month and thought, “I could have written some chapters of that book I need to write.” Or, maybe you’ve peered into the rearview mirror of your life and thought, “That thing I need to finish could already be done if I’d been more focused and less distracted.”

I’m a customer service fanatic. That’s what over 3 decades of retailing leadership will do for you. Being in the moment, with the customer who stands directly in front of you, is the name of the game. A customer who has driven to your store, hopped out of the car, walked in the door and engaged you is vastly more important than a ringing phone (which should also be answered, but not by YOU).

Social media has become like the incessant ringing phone clamoring for somebody – anybody – to answer it. This week, I’m choosing to ignore it and pay attention to the people and endeavors before me.

Today’s show is about why I’m going to avoid social media this week.

NOTE: If you saw a Tweet about this post…I must confess, it was automated. Thank you for visiting this post. I sincerely appreciate  it.

Podcast: Download

Bigger is better. I know ’cause I’m in Texas.

You know it, too though. More Twitter followers. More Facebook likes. More blog subscribers. More podcast listeners. More is better. When it comes to numbers, higher is better. Right?

Well, it depends.

It depends on what those numbers represent. More often than not, they don’t have any significant meaning. That’s not to say they don’t represent a real person, but that real person may have no interest in you or what you do. Rather, it’s safe to assume that each number presents a real person interested in their own stuff, their own agenda.

We have to realize that the people we follow in social media are not the people most likely interested in what we do, or in buying our stuff. It’s likely that your social network consists of people who interest YOU. You follow them. If per chance they follow you back, we’ll that doesn’t mean they have any interest in YOU or in what you do. That’s not some cynical view. It’s just reality.

I follow Tom Peters because, since the publication of In Search of Excellence, Tom has been on my radar. I developed a fondness for him and his work. I’ve purchased every book he’s written. I’ve paid money to see him speak more times than I can count. I’ve even touched more than the hem of his garment, I’ve experienced a handshake with Tom on just about every occasion where I’m gone to hear him speak. Tom has no idea who I am, nor should he. His crowd is vast – the result of numerous books and speeches, and years in the making. He can’t possibly know everybody who is his customer.

Fact is, I rather like Tom Peters. I like what he says and how he says it. And you know what? He’s far more liberal in his leanings than me. But still, I find him a provoking character who fosters my thinking. I rather enjoy that. Most people aren’t indifferent about Tom. I suspect people are attracted to him or repelled by him. He’s likely okay with that.

The fact that I follow him means I’m interested in him. If he were to follow me back (and he hasn’t), it doesn’t mean he’s interested in me – other than reciprocating, which isn’t necessarily meaningful. It’s just polite, but totally unnecessary.

Almost everybody I know is chasing numbers. They want more subscribers and followers. Daily that’s their focus. They never stop to think, “Will these people ever buy anything from me? Are these people interested in ME?” In almost every case, the answer is, “NO!”

The numbers don’t necessarily represent opportunity. They may, but they may not.

Today’s show is about the numbers – specifically chasing the numbers. Make sure you’re reaching the people you need to reach – the people who need you!

Thanks for listening to me. My goal is to be true to my purpose here – to help you build a better life, a better business. Let me know if I’m hitting or missing the mark.

Perhaps that title should have a question mark at the end of it. You think?

They’re one and the same, at least in my mind.

There are 3 things – components – that I believe are vital to effective social media behavior:

a. Caring
b. Sharing
c. Like-ability

When you’re asked to explain social media to people with no online experience, what advice do you give?

Digital distance is what I call the comfort people feel when they’re online. That’s what happens when we quickly – without enough thought – bang out a venomous email and hit “send.” Oops! Too late. Can’t take it back now. We wouldn’t have dared said that to their face, but typing it in an email is just – well, safer.

But an equally interesting observation is the disconnect between the real-life person we are and the digital person we think we are. It’s funny when we see it in others, but what if others see that same thing in us? Call it acting. Call it being an impostor. Maybe it’s completely honest as we think we’re just putting our best foot forward. Maybe it’s intentionally deceitful because we’re trying to con our way to prosperity. Is it a Jekyll and Hyde deal?

It could be were all just a little bit crazy (I rather suspect that’s true). Even so, that shouldn’t prevent us from working harder to close the gap between our real-life personality and our digital personality. Yes, this presupposes that our real-life personality has pleasing qualities. If you’re a freak, then forget everything I’ve said. Then again, if you’re a freak – nothing applies to you anyway. Else, you wouldn’t be a freak!

Here’s to your commitment to be your best live-in-person and digitally.

Here’s to being real.

How do you determine who gets your time and attention? Who do you read? Who do you listen to?

There are two distinct groups who occupy your life – in terms of people who you’re willing to pay attention to – with one major caveat, these are people who know who you are:

1. The core group – the people you know and who know you. These are people who have a personal connection with you. They understand your life, and they care about it. They have a more vested interest in your life. Hopefully, you also care about them.

2. The special interest group – the people you know and who know you, but they leap to your mind because of some present need or interest. For example, you may have some specialized skill. Let’s say you’re a WordPress website designer. People know that about you. When somebody has a question or need about a WordPress website, your phone rings – or you email inbox gets a new message. You occupy a “top-of-mind” presence for the people who know you.

Then, there are all those people we know of, but who don’t know us. Connections are made that have value, but aren’t very intimate. We really don’t know them, but based on their public persona we think we do. Again, some of these people may be core people we listen to. We may listen to them all the time. We may hang on their every word because we’ve decided they’ll be in our inner circle of influence even though they don’t know us.

Another group may be more specialized. I’m a member of Don McAllister’s Screen Casts Online. Don teaches about all things Apple Mac. He produces killer video tutorials at his membership site. I learn from Don’s work. He doesn’t have a clue who I am, but based on my special interest in what he teaches, I listen to Don. We’ve all got people like that in our life. They provide value for us. Sometimes, like Don’s offerings, we pay for the value. Sometimes, it’s completely free.

With Twitter, Facebook, blogs, Foursquare, Gowalla and the host of other places where we interact with people – it’s entirely probable that most of the people you interact with each day are people who haven’t a real clue who you are. Why do you listen to them? Is it popularity? What is it that draws you to them? What value do they provide in your life?

Quite often I find myself not asking these important questions – and every time I drift away from asking these great questions I find my life grows noisier. That’s not good for me. It’s distracting.

Part of my 2011 plan is to further restrict the voices in my head – and my life. And I don’t plan to allow the cool kids to dictate the voices I value most. Quite often I find them among the most boring voices anyway.

Besides, I find the most value in listening to people who care about my life – and those willing to let me care about theirs.

Who do you listen to – and how do you decide?

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]]> http://bulanetwork.com/episode-73-who-do-you-listen-to/feed/ 0 http://bulanetwork.com/episode-64-is-listening-the-least-rewarded-behavior-on-the-internet/ http://bulanetwork.com/episode-64-is-listening-the-least-rewarded-behavior-on-the-internet/#comments Fri, 12 Nov 2010 14:17:55 +0000 Randy Cantrell http://bulanetwork.com/?p=2738

Your computer keyboard has volume keys.

You have two ears. One mouth.

Your computer has inputs where you can plug in a microphone. It has an output where you can plug in speakers or headphones.

It’s all the flux of incoming and outgoing stuff. Do we produce more than we consume? I rather suspect we consume lots more than we create. We likely hit PLAY more than we hit RECORD. We likely READ more than we WRITE. I admit I have no statistical proof of that.

What about the popular people on the Internet? I suspect they’re doing it differently than most. It may be why they’re standing apart from the crowd.

Are they WRITING more than READING? Are they uses the various forms of TALKING more than they’re LISTENING?

Yes. Yes, they are.

Listening is the least rewarded behavior on the Internet.

Nobody is telling you to build your Twitter followers, your Facebook friends, your Linkedin connections or your email subscribers by listening.

For good reason. It won’t work. Listeners don’t get attention.

In a virtual world, listeners garner no attention. The Internet is all about attention.

“Thank you for listening.” Yes, I encourage you to do more than listen. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave me a voice mail at 214-736-4406.

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Andrew Warner has over 19K Twitter followers. I don’t know how many people are on his email subscriber list. He did this interview which is referred to in today’s show. You should listen to or watch the interview. You should watch or listen to more than one. Andrew has a variety of interviews you’re bound to find interesting.

Both Chris Guillebeau and Andrew Warner have something I don’t. An audience.

I’m happy for them both. And I think they deserve it. Sure, I’m envious, but these things are all a work-in-progress. And who knows? One of these days I may just make the Andrew Warner Mixergy show. It’s not an objective or goal, but it’d be terrific to experience enough online success to show up on his radar.

In the meantime, I’m contemplating a couple of contrasting truths.

On one hand we know common wisdom tells us we should do more of what is working and less of what isn’t. Test, ship, measure. Make adjustments. Improve. Stop doing the things that fail. Increase doing the things that are working.

On the other hand we’ve all been taught since we were kids, “Don’t quit!” Don’t give up. Stick with it. Be tenacious. Be determined.

What if we’re not experiencing success? What if nothing seems to be working? What if we’re seeing no progress?

That’s why some blogs and podcasts fade. It’s why some people just throw up their hands and quit. They give up any dream of launching an online enterprise. Some, who aspire to become self-employed, grab Craigslist or go to Monster and start looking for a job. Others give up any dream of finding popularity or just a few hundred followers.

Crowds, followers, markets, audiences, niches, customers, readers or listeners – every online persona is searching for some combination of these. I’m looking for a few of these. Admittedly, I’m looking for some validation that there are just a few people out there who can resonate with me, and let me resonate with them. So far I haven’t found them, but I’m not yet convinced they’re not out there. Somewhere.

“The money is in the list,” is a common theme of all online business. No wonder I’m not currently earning tons of money strictly by being online. There are 6 people on my list. I’m 3 of them. I may even be 4 of them because I know one is my pen name. My wife is also on the list. I had to opt her in myself. She refused to join my list. That’s the clearest demonstration of my difficulties!

Join my list and become subscriber number 7. Lucky Seven! Or you could scroll down to the bottom of the page, along the right hand side…and become the second person to like my company Facebook page. I’m the first person to like my own page. Admittedly, I just built that page, but you can see the traction is grabbing quickly. Going from the offline world  to the online world is not easy.

The Internet swallows many people daily. People who fail in obscurity. Like a large crowd of people all speaking at once, the sound of babbling overcomes our ability to distinguish any single voice or conversation. Constant noise makes it almost impossible to concentrate and focus. It also makes it nearly impossible for people to find us. If they can’t find us, then how will they ever discover our uniqueness? How will we ever break through? How will we ever build an audience if they don’t even know we exist?

Seth Godin urges us to keep swimming through the dip. You never know how close you may be to reaching the shore of your goal. So, don’t quit too soon. Success may be just one more extended reach ahead. Go for it!

It’s a quandary of advice. An apparent contradiction.

I’ll tell you how I’m handling it in my own online venture. Maybe you’ll be helped by learning you’re not alone in your anonymity. I’ll compare my email list with yours all day long. And I’m betting your list blows mine out of the water. But I’m not quitting. It’s not over!

Right Click Here To Download The Audio

Have you ever wondered how so much information is being produced by so many people who seem to spend tons of time on Facebook and Twitter? I’m sometimes fascinated by people who seem to always be in Twitter no matter what time of day or night I log in – but they’ve written books, countless blog posts, recorded videos and podcasts. I suspect it’s just another Wonder of the World. Perhaps they’ve conquered the time space continuum.

I do know the streams of information flooding my life often cause me to fall. Like a failed attempt to wade through fast moving water, I’m knocked to my knees, eventually going over the cliff where all information eventually goes! I prefer to think of it as a cliff instead of the toilet. Same difference perhaps. And I know not all information is toilet material, but we all know much of it is.

Once I’ve fallen, it’s quite difficult to get back up. Distractions do that. They knock us to our knees – or put us on our butts. Our ability to get back on our feet is about as athletic as a cow on ice. The flow of information and connectivity to the outside world is so intense we often prefer to stay down.

Maybe you’ve experienced it. You sit down at your computer, or with your iPhone. You launch Twitter and Facebook. Texting is constant. Time is now invisible. It quietly disappears, along with your day – and your productivity. Sadly, it becomes a habit of being unproductive.

Today’s show hopes to contribute to the conversation on how to more effectively deal with distractions. I hope to help you get something meaningful done today! I also hope you’ll reciprocate by helping me get something done, too.

Thanks for listening.

Please Subscribe To The Podcast. Connect With Me. Become Part Of The Community.

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Edwin Newman was a newscaster with NBC. Newman was very observant about speech, words and language. In 1974 he wrote a book entitled, “Strictly Speaking: Will America Be the Death of English?” Almost a decade later he wrote, “Civil Tongue.”

Strictly Speaking was a book I read when I was a high school senior. I had aspirations of being a writer and frequently read books about effective talking and writing. Newman was among the very first I heard discuss some of the stupid speech habits of English speaking people.

Business people – in fact, all people – seem to fall in love with phrases that sound good, but if we’d stop to think about them – even if for a moment – we’d realize they’re stupid. Some of them are really stupid. But the masses still consider them profound.

I’ve long been convinced that lemming-itis is rampant in America. Perhaps it is worldwide, but since I’m not a globe trotter I can’t confirm that. Daily I witness lemming behavior in offline and online situations. Mark Twain made a statement about this long before I was born, so I know modern technology has very little, if anything, to do with it. Hit PLAY and I’ll explain.

Subscribe To The Podcast. Connect With Me. Be Part Of The Community.

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No blog post. Just today’s show. Why? Because I’m lazy. And busy. So hit that PLAY button and you’ll understand the title. The subject is building relationships. Yes, relationships. Trust me. You’ll understand when you listen to the show.

Subscribe To The Podcast. Connect With Me.

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Do you have a dream? Some desire? Well, you need to write it down because that adds validity to it. Next, give yourself a deadline. When you do that, it becomes a goal. Suck up the courage to tell your friends and family about it because when you say it out loud you add a level of accountability that can help you achieve it.

There are some fundamentals of business that I was taught decades ago. For starters, marketing is getting your message out to the world. Have some intentions about your enterprise, or your career. You can’t simply wander aimlessly toward success – or your goal. You need to behave with clear intention.

There are people in my life – even if they’re only slightly connected to me through social circles or social media – who appear to have a single focus in life. A very clear intention. They seem to be chasing it for all they’re worth. Their intention is evident. They need, want and strongly desire ATTENTION.

Not all of them want attention for the sake of money. Many seem to be wanting something else – POPULARITY! They want the big three F’s: friends, followers and fans! They’re living their entire life out loud. Life is a reality program in which they are the star and they seem to be forcing it on everybody who knows them.

Pass me the barf bag because I’m sick of these people.

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Click the image, visit the Bula Network page and click that “like” button.

Thank you for liking me. It’s an interesting decision, isn’t it? I wonder how that Facebook debate might have sounded as they gathered in a conference room to decide what word they’d use. Like! Good choice.

Regards,

]]> http://bulanetwork.com/bula-network-is-now-on-facebook/feed/ 0 http://bulanetwork.com/episode-4-finding-where-we-fit-communities-connections/ http://bulanetwork.com/episode-4-finding-where-we-fit-communities-connections/#comments Sat, 03 Apr 2010 12:26:09 +0000 Randy Cantrell http://bulanetwork.com/?p=1547

Are you a member of a community where you feel really comfortable? A place where you’re instantly connected?

Sometimes it can be tough to find a place where our sense of belonging kicks in right away. Today, we can be members of more communities than ever before. No longer are our connections limited to those who live and work near us. Proximity isn’t defined geographically any more. It’s more properly defined by interests.

Commonality is the key to community. What do we share? How are we alike? Those common denominators tend to be how we establish community. How can we find where we fit best? How we attract others who fit with us, and our community?

Two communities that I’ll specifically name in today’s show are Teaching Sells and Third Tribe. I’m rather fond of both and I’ll tell you why I’m a member of both of those communities. And neither of them are free!

Right click here to download the audio.