Be In The Moment


During my years of running luxury retailing companies I was constantly urging employees to “be present” and “be in the moment” with shoppers and customers. How can you deliver remarkable customer experiences if you’re not paying close attention to the customer? You can’t. But neither can you deliver a remarkable experience to employees, friends or family without it.

Randy

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Leadership Challenges: Safety First - GROW GREAT Leadership Challenges 001

Leadership Challenges 001: Safety First

Leadership Challenges: Safety First - GROW GREAT Leadership Challenges 001

People aren’t always honest with the CEO. His people. His trusted advisors.

They’re not dishonest. They’re just not always candid.

It was magnified the other day when the CEO dispatched a small group of people to survey the troops. He’d read a book about employee engagement and culture. It prompted him to find out how his culture was faring. He’s anxious to discover how things are going — confident that the morale will be fairly high, and that people will see the organization as he sees it. High performing. A winning team.

Three junior executives have been assigned to find out how people are feeling about their work, their leadership and their future. A few thousand bucks have been invested to get a survey from a consulting outfit specializing in employee engagement and organizational culture. There are just under 400 employees to survey, including about 50 part-time people. This is going to take awhile, but the CEO is anxious and schedules time with the 3-man survey team each Friday morning to get updates.

After week one the team has determined this project will take about 45 days to complete, but the initial results are in. They’re not favorable.

The 3 junior executives have been nervous about this project, but thankful it’s a survey purchased by the Chief. The results will be what they’ll be…and these junior leaders know they’ll simply be messengers of the news, whatever it may be.

Just 58 surveys have been completed and they have a universal theme. People are unhappy. They feel unappreciated. Most report that their leaders do nothing more than lean on them to do more, do better and work harder. The survey team huddles late Thursday because tomorrow morning is going to be the first report to the Chief. It’s not good. The CEO can become agitated, sometimes with little or no provocation. High anxiety washes over the survey team. They decide their best course of action is to present the survey results without commentary. Keeping one’s mouth shut just seems the safest course of action.

Friday morning arrives. They walk into the CEO’s office and take a seat around his small conference table. He offers them coffee as they settle in. It’s obvious he can’t wait to find out the early results.

The team selected one person, Billy, to lead the presentation. Billy is the right guy for this task. He’s well-liked by the CEO and knows how to handle himself well in live, real-time situations.

Billy prefaces the presentation – and handing the CEO a binder of early results – by telling the CEO just the facts. “We’ve surveyed 58 employees so far. All of them full-time. Ranging from supervisors to executives. All results are anonymous so we can obtain the most valid results possible, in accordance with the survey guidelines. These results represent only 15.07% of our total workforce, including part-time staff.”

With that, he hands the CEO the binder, which consists of a cover sheet with pie charts and other overall results. Individual comments and other details follow behind those first few pages.

The smile leaves the face of the CEO almost instantly. His brow furrows, his eyes squint and he now looks like he’s getting a headache. You can tell he’s completely surprised. Fearing he’s going to get defensive, the survey team has rehearsed what may happen next. They played out every conceivable scenario except the one that occurs.

The CEO asks, “Billy, tell me what you really think?”

Oh, crap. Billy is caught completely off guard. Janet and Brad, the other two members of the survey team feel sick at their stomach. They’re anticipating being asked to follow Billy in answering the same question. Hopeful it won’t happen, but fearful it will.

Billy says, “Sir, it’s too early for me to have any real valid thoughts.”

“Cut the crap, Billy,” says the CEO. “I know you’ve got a thought. And I know that a 15% sampling isn’t necessarily a full picture, but let me ask you – is this 15% representative of people in most areas of our company?”

“Yes sir, it is,” says Billy. “This 15% represents people from all sectors of our organization, except it doesn’t contain any feedback from part-time workers.”

“Then tell me what’s happening, Billy,” asks the CEO.

“Sir, I honestly would rather wait until we have more data,” answers Billy.

This goes on for a bit until the CEO has an epiphany – Billy isn’t wanting to tell him what he really thinks.

In a flash, the CEO asks, “Billy, what are you afraid of? You afraid I can’t handle what’s really happening out there?”

“Sir, I wouldn’t want to speculate. And I certainly wouldn’t want to give you incorrect data.” See, I told you Billy was good on his feet.

The group is dismissed from the CEO’s office and his Friday is shot. Emotions go from anger to frustration to resentment. All in about a 10 minute span.

Within 15 minutes of the survey team leaving the CEO’s office, he’s got 3 VP’s in his office sitting right where the survey team sat. He tells them what he’s learned, tosses the single copy of the early results onto the table in the middle of them and goes on a rant. During his rant they each briefly glance at the first few pages, attempting to make sense of the pie charts and other diagrams of the overall results.

“This is just 15% of the work force,” says one VP. “Let’s wait and see how things are when we have more data.”

The others chime in conceding that that’s the best course of action. It’s way to early to assume this represents the sentiment of the entire workforce.

Then it happens. The same thing that happened to Billy. “Gentlemen, I want to know what each of you think is happening? I want to know if you think this properly depicts what’s happening in our culture?”

They try Billy’s tactic, but it’s not working now. They’re not junior executives and the CEO isn’t going to let them off as easily.

The room grows quiet. Frank has been in the company for 6 years. He’s seasoned, even weather beaten. He’s about 8 years younger than the CEO, and he knows he’s well-regarded throughout the company, including the office of the CEO. He breaks the silence.

“Sir, if I might.”

“Please, Frank. Let’s hear it,” says the CEO.

“Let’s examine what we’ve done so far and what led us to this place. For over a year we’ve been wanting to improve our culture, fearful that we were headed in a direction that might steer us away from being the organization we’d most like to be. Employee engagement has been a constant focal point, rightfully so. We’ve questioned how engaged our employees are. We’ve questioned if our culture is fit enough to get us to the next level. So we invested almost $10,000 in this survey tool in order to at long last see if we could all get a better handle on what’s really going on. As leaders, we solve problems. First, we have to understand the problem to be solved. Else, we just act like bulls in a china closet and none of us want to damage the china. So we’re finding out what our people really think and how they really feel.”

“Sir, may I give you one word that I think may best illustrate what may be our initial problem with all this?”

“Yes, of course, give it to me, Frank.”

“The word is SAFETY. Sir, you asked about my thoughts. In my judgment we’re experiencing data that has somewhat blindsided us because our employees don’t feel safe. I don’t mean our workplace is physically unsafe, it’s very safe. But I mean emotionally safe where people can tell us the truth. I reiterate to our sales and marketing teams that our prospects are only going to become customers if we can first make them feel safe. After that, we must earn their trust. If we earn their trust, then we must work on having influence on them. Every time we short-circuit that process, we fail. We can’t make a sale if the prospect doesn’t let us influence them. That can’t happen if they don’t trust us. And the only way to trust is safety. Our prospects have to know we have their best interests at heart, even though we do want to make a sale. We want the sale to be what works best for our customers. I don’t see any difference between our prospects and our employees. First, we need to lead them in a way that makes them feel safe — and that needs to come from making them know we have their best interests at heart. It seems to me, we’ve failed on that front. The good news is, if the other results are consistent with these results, then we can begin today working on a plan to fix this. Isn’t that why we commissioned this survey to begin with?”

During his answer the CEO was quiet and attentive. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head. It was making sense to him.

He asked the other VP’s if they agreed. They did. Not much more conversation happened after that and the group was dismissed.

Alone in his office now, the CEO reflected on what Frank had said. His anger was gone. In its place, sadness. He was preoccupied. A few phone calls and another short meeting happened, but he couldn’t much remember what any of it was about. He was thinking about 15.07% of his workforce who felt taxed and under-appreciated. And he was confident 100% of the survey would likely reflect similar results. How did it get this way? It was never his intent. He just wanted a high performing organization. And he had one, or so he thought. Truth is, these people were doing great work. They were high performing. And he began to wonder how high performing people can feel so badly about their work and their organization.

He walked out of his office down the hall to Frank’s office. Knocked on the door and asked Frank if he had a moment. “Of course, sir.”

For 20 minutes the men exchanged no data. They just talked about what the CEO most wanted – employees who felt alive at work. People who felt supported to do the best work of their lives. And the CEO listened to Frank, the first person willing to tell him candidly want he needed to hear. Frank was encouraging and proactive. He suggested that the CEO allow he and his peers to take some time to figure out real-life answers – things “real people can do” as Frank put it. Before the CEO left Frank’s office, Frank said something that seemed to hit it squarely on the head.

“Let’s consider how valuable the truth is. If we can make our people feel safe think of the enormous benefits we’ll have in the market. When we know the truth we’ll be able to more proactive, more innovative and world-class. This may be one of the greatest days of my career here, sir. We’ve just discovered an untapped resource of power that we didn’t even know we had. I say we capitalize on it and make connecting with our people the priority of our leadership.”

Randy

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bula network podcast on itunesTo subscribe, please use the links below:

If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking Review on iTunes. It’ll help the show rank better in iTunes.

Thank you!

Leadership Challenges 001: Safety First Read More »

The Good Intentions Of Your Inner Critic - GROW GREAT Podcast Episode 4007

4007 The Good Intentions Of Your Inner Critic

The Good Intentions Of Your Inner Critic - GROW GREAT Podcast Episode 4007

Sometimes people need professional therapy. Our pain sometimes demands it. Our ability or capacity to process our pain often needs some shoring up. I’m not a professional therapist. I’m just a business guy with a lifetime of striving toward higher self-awareness. Spend your lifetime studying people – including yourself – and you learn a few things. Mostly, I’ve learned there’s so much I just don’t know. Today’s show is not intended to serve in place of a mental health professional. Some of the most successful people find they need help because success brings about its own pain and pressure. My best advice is, take care of yourself.

________________________________________________________________________________

He was very small. Probably 4 years old or so. I don’t remember the specific circumstance, but I remember many conversations with him about the voice inside his head. I was probably 27 years old or so. He was my son, our first born. Patience, as with most 4-year-olds, wasn’t yet in his arsenal. My task was to help him discover it. Mostly, I was intent on helping him learn to develop resilience. My wife and I quickly realized that if he didn’t excel immediately, he grew frustrated and angry. His temper was mostly ignited at his own failure. We knew he was innately competitive.

I’m on one knee, bent down to look him in the face. The topic is the invisible little man who lives in his head and tells him, “You’ll never be able to do this. You’re an idiot for even trying. Look at you, you can’t even do it right the first time.” I worked diligently to help him understand that we all have an invisible little person living in our head who tells us lies, but we also have another little person telling us the truth – encouraging us, telling us we can do it, and urging us to silence the critic.

My son wasn’t getting professional help from me. I was a rank amateur with enough self-awareness and communication skills to know I didn’t want my little boy to grow up feeling defeated before he even began. Hitting a ball with a bat. Catching a ball. Anything like that frustrated him if he couldn’t master it immediately. Learning wasn’t acceptable. He was born with some wiring that compelled him to be instantly good, or worthless at doing something. To my wife and I, it went beyond the scope of childish expectation. Through the years we’d learn it was part of who he was. Our job was to equip him as best we could with the tenacity to understand it, manage it and harness it for his own good.

IMG_2117
my son putting skates on his daughter

Today, he’s 35 and we couldn’t be prouder. Thankfully, we didn’t screw him up too badly. 😉 Now it’s his turn to avoid screwing up his own kids.

The other day I was remembering some of those down-on-one-knee talks with him, wondering where I got my stories about the “little man living in your head telling you all these negative things.” If I learned about it, I don’t remember. What I do remember is always knowing I had such a little man living in my head. He’s been there for as long as I can remember.

It’s likely where I first got my fondness for what was once called “self help” books. I’d read books, listen to audio tapes and consume quite a lot of that material, especially in my 20’s. It was interesting to me. I was mostly interested in the deeper stuff that had some scientific basis. I wasn’t so smitten with the rah-rah-sis-boom-bah stuff. That’s the stuff that jumped to the best seller list and I read too many of those, but mostly I found those trite and cheesy. I wanted substance. I wanted understanding.

In college psychology classes fascinated me. My library still contains a variety of books aimed at helping us understand ourselves and why we do what we do. Or why we fail to do other things we should. I wasn’t smart enough to pursue science, but I was highly interested. As a business guy – even as a hi-fi salesman during college – studying people was always the underlying reason for it I suppose. Finding out what people wanted and why. Listening to them tell their stories. Watching their faces as they talked of a favorite record, or band. It was all pretty interesting and I suppose in some small way I figured that if I could develop skills to better understand people, then maybe I could better understand myself. Maybe that was the point all along.

Understand Yourself Better

Doesn’t everybody have an inner critic? I suppose so. I can’t imagine somebody not having one. Or more than one.

I’ve already admitted my personal fascination with my own (and my children’s) inner critic and self-esteem. My children we born in the early 80’s and may well be the last kids to be raised by old-school parents who didn’t subscribe to participation trophies. We wanted our son and daughter to be independent, stand up for what they believed in, do the right thing no matter what and figure out what occupation would best serve them and their own families. They were experience driven. Much more so than my baby boomer generation ever was. We were materialistic and chased financial success. Our parents were part of what Tom Brokaw called “the greatest generation.” Our folks worked hard and we learned our work ethic from them. But was gave up quite a lot in the process. We worked a lot of hours, grinding away to climb the ladder and find success, which was mostly based on how much money we made. Thankfully, our children found a better way – a more balanced life.

Understanding ourselves often draws us back to our childhood. We’re all a product of our upbringing. My wife and I knew we were packing bags that our children would carry with them the rest of their lives. That’s how it goes. I was committed to making some of those bags I gave my kids as profitable and productive as possible. Time will judge whether I was able to do it as well as I’d hoped.

It all boiled down to helping them better understand themselves. Of course, first I had to better understand myself. That was always the hard part. Today, that’s the hard part for them now that they’re parents trying to pass on whatever lessons they’ve learned.

Makes No SenseI keep reading, observing, writing and doing my best to pay attention. And of course, as always, trying to connect the dots and make sense of it all.

It’s a nice, plush quiet office. The CEO owns the business. He started the company 27 years ago. Slogged his way to profitability and things began to take off.

Around year 7 he started getting newfound and much needed traction. Business was good, but the growth was stressful. He was discovering new problems he’d never faced before. There were people problems. Capital always seemed too short. There were inventory issues. Systems were being taxed at every point. He was afraid. The growth has revealed all the things he knew were true – he wasn’t prepared.

So he did what most do. He dove in trying to figure it out along the way. Desperation is how he characterizes those years. He was desperate to figure it out so he just took action. Mostly, he admits, he got it wrong, but he tried to fix it as soon as he could. When he got it right, it paid off handsomely so he just assumed if he could win more than he lost, then everything would be okay.

That didn’t help him sleep at night. It sure didn’t help him build an organization, or develop a high performing team. No sooner had the euphoria of getting traction hit until it gave way to high anxiety. He had never been this afraid. He had employees. Payroll. Suppliers. Financial concerns. He was eating, drinking and staying awake at night fretting about the business.

Here we sit, two decades later. It’s in the middle of the afternoon. He’s troubled. Today, he’s lamenting a few opportunities he’s had to develop a key right-hand person. There was the young man he hired 22 years ago, before the traction took hold. A diligent young man with a high degree of willingness. Rough around the edges sometimes, but plenty of horsepower to work with. He just never took the time to really mentor the young man. Eventually, he left, telling the owner that he needed a new opportunity. The CEO figured he really meant that he wasn’t growing as he wanted — and they both likely understand the fact of it all.

After that, he figures there had been at least two more. He’s got a strong team today, but he can’t seem to get past the lost opportunities to have grown talent that would likely be serving him now in his latter years. Talent that might best help him achieve what he most wants now.

There’s regret on his face as he’s telling me the story. I asked him about himself. He’s telling me about past employees, but he’s not saying a lot about himself. “What’s the issue for you?” I ask. “Me?” he barks back. “It’s my business. It’s all an issue for me,” he retorts. Spoken like most business owners I’ve encountered through my career. I know how he means it, but I also know it can camouflage what’s really bothering him.

I ask him to help me understand how he’s feeling and what he’s thinking. His mood grows increasingly reflective, and pensive. He removes his glasses, rubs his eyes and says softly, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

It’s a bolt out of the blue. Catches even me off guard and I’m almost always on guard — that is, I’m pretty prepared for most things people tell me. I ask him to talk to me more about that. For the next 20 minutes or so he laments his life, organizationally and personally. He’s trapped by his success. Trapped by his business. Trapped by having to do it all. Trapped by making every big decision.

As the CEO of a mid-sized company with millions of dollars of revenue, just under 100 employees and a staff of about 7 direct reports, he’s surrounded by people. He speaks fondly of most of them, but continues to lament that he’s never fully developed a person capable of replacing him. Somebody who can help him ease into a new role that he longs to achieve – a wise mentor capable of providing historical context, industry know-how and other insightful service to a leadership team capable of soaring higher. Always higher.

“What are you most afraid of?” I ask, knowing it’s the time I can now ask and get an honest answer. He looks at me. Puts his glasses back on. Looks at some papers on his desk. Then looks up and peers at me with his eyes slightly squinted as if he’s got a headache. “Being alone,” he answers. “But that ship sailed. I am alone.”

His marriage ended shortly after his year of traction. One daughter is now off to college somewhere up north. He has confessed that his wife and mistress are one and the same – his business. He’s got many friends. Well, people with whom he can socialize. His calendar is full of activities. At work. At home. He’s surrounded by people. But mostly, he’s alone.

All the trappings of success are just that – trappings. He’s said so. This is no longer working for him. He’s a miserable man. Successful by all accounts and miserable.

Part of providing the opportunity to shell it down and be transparent is giving leaders the release they’ve longed to have. He seems to be breathing. I mean really catching a breath. Not just physically, but emotionally. I remind him that I’m not a therapist and my work isn’t therapy, but it is therapeutic. “Boy, don’t I know it,” he says.

He’s in his 60’s. He’s not the 4-year-old little boy I talked to when I was 27. But there’s still a little person inside him telling him things. Surrounded by talent and expertise in his business, he’s mostly listening to some unnamed little person living in his head. This trusted advisor has no name, no credentials and only one mission. To nag him into misery. Well, that seems to be the impact.

Over time it’s clear to him that he’s refusing to get too close to people. He wants to, but he’s afraid. Afraid it won’t work out. Like his marriage. Or those early employees who abandoned him. That’s his word: abandoned. No matter that they were willing, hard working and devoted. No matter that they likely weren’t feeling valued by him. He sees it the way he sees it. Clear or not, it’s his perspective.

Talk turns to our inner critic. That voice that sometimes wants to serve us, but has the opposite effect.

He concludes his inner critic is likely trying to protect him from being hurt, but those good intentions aren’t working. Instead, they’re causing him to repel against the very things he needs to do to get out of under this life he no longer wants. I’m here to help him with his business and professional life. But I care about his entire life and urge him to consider finding a professional capable of serving him in ways I can’t. He finds a professional and just after one session tells me what a gift it is to have two people serving him – me and a mental health professional, a therapist. I’m humbled.

Age Doesn’t Matter – Intentions Don’t Either

Whether we’re old or young, our inner critic likely never goes away. I’ve concluded maybe the best we can do is to understand it.

I’ve learned that often times my own inner critic is seeking my best. Or he thinks he is. “Don’t try that, it won’t work. You’ll only embarrass yourself.” Good little voice, trying to protect me from embarrassment.

Freedom From Your Inner Critic is a book written by Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss. Part of what the authors point out is that our inner critic has old ideas about us. We listen to these antiquated images of who we may have once been. Our inner critic pushes us to remember an outdated version of ourselves. The problem is, that doesn’t fit our current circumstance. Or our current skills or experience. According to Earley and Weiss, our inner critic then goes to work to protect us, causing us to doubt ourselves. That makes us feel insufficient, often growing more miserable. That’s where our CEO business owner is at.

I encourage you to read and study about this more, but I’ll share with you three things Ms. Weiss points to as ways to tame this inner critic.

Step 1: Separate

That little person living in our head is just one of many. It’s one voice among many. The inner critic isn’t entirely you, but it’s only a part. Weiss says that voice has its own motives and world view. The way to tame it is to distance from it. Make a decision to listen, or not listen.

Sometimes you need to tell the voice to back off. She argues that we all need to find and get in touch with our higher Self (yes, it’s a capital S). Google IFS or internal family systems therapy and you’ll find more. I’m not saying this is the end all, be all. I am saying I’ve found elements of this helpful in better understanding myself and in helping others better understand themselves in the professional dynamics at work.

Like any voice or advice we get, we can choose to listen or not to the inner critic. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s possible. Some people may be able to figure this out with a bit of reading and study. Other people may require or want more structured help.

Step 2: Update

Weiss encourages us to ask our inner critic an important question, “How old do you think I am?” Most often we’ll find out that our inner critic thinks we’re still a small child. It’s as though our inner critic is stuck in time. All the effort expended to protect us is by a small (but loud) voice aimed at protecting a child, not a grown adult with the skills and experience we now possess. The more you’re able to show this part of yourself who and what you really are today, the more likely you’ll be able to update the inner critic into letting go of the dated concerns that little voice expresses to you, trying to protect you.

Step 3: Mentor

Weiss and Earley use a term I’m rather fond of, Inner Champion. That can be your new mentor. You need help in dealing with your inner critic. Weiss finds it helpful to give your Inner Champion some human qualities. She admits her own Inner Champion is part Katherine Hepburn, Margaret Mead and others. The job of the Inner Champion is to give you strength.

The Inner Champion often sounds like the voice of a good mom reminding you of your value and capacity. It encourages you to take reasonable risks so you can get what you most want.

The Inner Champion also has the courage to take a stand against your inner critic, telling it to leave you alone. The Inner Champion is the other voice in your head telling that inner critic that he’s not being helpful.

The value of the Inner Champion is in helping you develop a process or system to achieving what you want. When you lack a process, your Inner Champion helps propel you forward to devise a plan.

And the Inner Champion takes care of the fragile parts of you that are being protected by the inner critic. See, the inner critic is really intending to help you. It just doesn’t always work out that way.

Clarity

I’m a fan. Seeing things clearly doesn’t mean the news is always good. Or that the outcome is what we wanted. It just means we’re seeing it for what it really is. That provides us with an opportunity to make adjustments, fix what ails us and figure out what we’ll do next.

Life is about adjustments. It’s about learning. The CEO was learning some things for the first time in his life. He was putting in the work to avoid going it alone, thinking he had to be strong enough all by himself. Trapped by success, surrounded by people – he was already alone. And that’s what he most feared. When he saw it more clearly he was able to devise a plan he could own. Professional therapy helped. I hope I did, too.

He got some strategy in place, which drove his hopes higher. In time he got some optimism because he could see a positive outcome. Hopelessness gave way to optimism.

I encourage you to seek clarity for yourself. Leaders can get so busy and allow their lives to become more hectic than is profitable. “I’m too busy,” is a steady refrain I hear from every leader. I’m the guy who’ll ask, “Do you think Benjamin Franklin was a bit brilliant? How about Ernest Hemingway?”

Ben Franklin is quoted as having said or written, “Never confuse motion with action.”

Ernest Hemingway is quoted as having said, “Never mistake motion with action.”

Pick your brilliant guy. Their quotes are the same. And they were both right.

Today, right now, do something for yourself. Face that inner critic. Read a book (or four) on it. Confront it and seek professional help if you need it or want it. Some of us are out here ready to help you do the heavy lifting.

Randy

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4007 The Good Intentions Of Your Inner Critic Read More »

Get Out From Under Failure - GROW GREAT Podcast Episode 4006

4006 Get Out From Under Failure

Get Out From Under Failure - GROW GREAT Podcast Episode 4006

I’ve got REM playing in the headphones while I catch up on some paperwork. At some point their hit, Everybody Hurts begins to play. It’s a beautiful, but haunting song that admonishes the listener to “hang on.” Misery loves company and everybody hurts. Sometime.

Leaders regularly wear masks, hiding their fears, insecurities and challenges. It’s part of that “never let ’em see you sweat” mindset.

All bravado aside, deep down we all know R.E.M. is right. Everybody does hurt. Sometime. We look at people from some safe distance and think they’ve got it all together. No worries. No problems. Everything they touch turns to success.

Florence Chadwick is a name you may have never heard. She only had a 40% success rate. Experiencing failure more than half the time. That’s enough to knock anybody into the dirt. Unless you’re Florence Chadwick. She became the first woman to swim from England to France in 1951, but out of 10 attempts – she only succeeded 4.

Troy Aikman came to the Dallas Cowboys as the number 1 draft pick. New team owner Jerry Jones and new NFL coach Jimmy Johnson experienced tremendous failure right off the bat. Aikman was part of that colossal failure. He didn’t win a single game in his first year as a starter. 100% failure.

Success breeds comfort. Comfort quickly becomes complacency. But maybe more dangerous, success fosters a “What about me?” attitude among the employees, including the leadership team. Everybody wants more credit and more praise than they had previously. It’s the pressure winning brings. And it’s why success can be difficult to sustain long-term.

That kind of success can result in its own kind of failure. Just last Friday, Wal-Mart announced they’d be closing 269 stores. According to CEO Doug McMillon, the company is taking action in order to become more nimble in the face of competition from Amazon and others.

Sears was historically considered too big to fail, but they’ve been failing for years. They’re not alone. The business landscape is filled with companies who were once spectacular, but are now gone — or soon may be. Success can breed more success (as we talked about in the last episode about leverage), or it can cause us to grow comfortable and overconfident.

Failure sometimes comes in the form of success. Namely, success handled improperly. Or poorly.

Failure is certain no matter the endeavor. You will fail. Mark it down.

The biggest winners on the planet have failed. Often more times than anybody really knows – other than them. Mostly, because others aren’t counting your failures. They’re too busy counting their own.

Florence Chadwick tried to be the first woman to swim 21 miles across the Catalina Channel, from Catalina Island to Palos Verde on the California coast in 1952. She came up short. Literally half a mile short. After swimming almost 16 hours, the cold water and fog defeated her. An epic fail.

After getting out of the water and realizing how close she was, she told a reporter, Look, I’m not excusing myself, but if I could have seen land I know I could have made it.

Two months later she made another attempt, this time succeeding in just under 14 hours. Success. It had been a 50/50 proposition, but she persisted and made it.

For years that story has been told and retold as a lesson in resilience and keeping your eye on the goal. Maybe what’s often forgotten though are the attempts that resulted in failure. Or the stories of failure that resulted in success because people found a way to get out from under failure. Not everybody does.

History is littered with sad stories of people with insanely high potential who made poor choices, neglected to do the work and were never able to withstand the heavy weight of failure. Some just can’t find their way out of it.

On Joe Buck’s new show, Undeniable With Joe Buck, he interviewed his broadcasting partner, Hall of Fame quarterback Troy Aikman. Troy confessed his first love was baseball. After the family moved from California to Oklahoma, Troy had no intention of playing football. He was planning to just play basketball and baseball. One day his dad returned home from work and asked, “They’re having football sign up’s in town. You’re gonna play, aren’t you?” Afraid to refuse his dad, Troy signed up. Three SuperBowl Championships and an NFL Hall of Fame entrance later – here he is working the Fox NFL broadcasts on the number 1 team for that network with Joe Buck.

Life throws all of us curve balls. Sometimes we can hit them. Other times we can’t even see them.

Serendipity happens to all of us, too. Sometimes it hurts us. Other times, like Troy’s dad telling him to go sign up for football, they set our life on a trajectory we could have never imagined.

Moments In Time

We’ve all heard the adage…

Success is never final. 

Failure is never fatal.

I’m more sure of that first one. I’m not sure at all about that last one because I’ve seen failure be final when people made really awful decisions. Even so I appreciate the sentiment and you do, too.

Whether it’s our first attempt and it ends in failure, or whether we’re like Florence and we fail 6 out of 10 times, failure is really just a moment in time. It’ll pass.

Ditto for success.

In either case we often don’t think so. Failure seems to drag on and we think it’ll never end. Success feels the same way. Once we reach the mountain top and take a good look at the view, we think we’ve made it. This is gonna be our view from now on. Until life shows us how wrong we are.

Getting out from under failure can mean a bunch of things. It may mean that we have to make up our mind that we’re going to push past this moment of time – this moment where we’ve fallen on our face. It may mean that we have to determine we’re not going to buckle under the new weight of success we now have to shoulder.

Whatever it may mean to you, this much is sure. Getting out from under failure means we can’t stand still. We can’t sit down and take it easy. Sure we can catch our breath and regroup, but we need to get on with it. It’s so with our careers, our teams and our organizations. If we stay in one place too long failure will catch up with us and swallow us up.

The competition is always coming. The market is always changing. Customers are always being distracted or woo’d away by somebody else.

Daily it’s a fight to remain relevant and to be the top dog in our game. It doesn’t matter if you’re running a $500M company or a $500,000 mom ‘n pop shop. Success just has a bigger scale. So does failure. Which is why the weight of failure can really take a toll on a larger company. They have more weight that can used against them in the battle. “The bigger they are, the harder they fall,” can be very true. And in their lumbering way, they can find it much harder – and longer – to regain their footing after a fall, too.

You’re the leader. The organization – or perhaps your team – is looking to you to show them the way. What do you do when you’ve taken it on the chin? Maybe you were just stunned momentarily. Maybe you got knocked out cold, but you’re now coming back to your senses. I don’t know what your failure looks like, but you’ve had it happen. Maybe you’re enduring it right now. It sits on your chest like the weight of the world. You’re pinned down, unable to move. Or so you think. And if you did move, you’re not sure which way to turn. Do you turn left to escape? Or right?

Failure can not only beat you down, but it can make you lose your bearings. Find your true north people say. Shoot, when you’re failing you’d be happy to just know which end is UP.

Success is on the other side. Somewhere. If only you could see it like Florence Chadwick mentioned to that reporter…then you could make it more easily. But you can’t see it. Therein lies a major problem. You’re having to operate on faith. Much of that faith has to be in yourself. And in your people.

If It Is To Be, It’s Up To Me

Not in some self-centered, I’m all that and a bag of chips kind of way, but in an “I have to show the way” kind of a way. As leaders, it’s up to us to demonstrate our own resolve. People are closely watching us to see how we’re going to react. Will we stay down? Will we throw in the towel? Or will we learn from our failure, rally the troops and closely examine our failure so we don’t repeat it? What’s it going to be?

This is where that bravado can kick in an foil any really opportunity we may have to succeed. We can make a poor choice in our attempt to get out from under failure by laughing it off as a fluke. By puffing out our chest and saying as confidently as possible, “That won’t happen again.” We can don that mask of impenetrable superiority in hopes the troops don’t see our loss of confidence, or our fears.

A better option is candor.

We may find it most helpful for getting out from under failure by being real with ourselves and our people.

Back in the 80’s I first read about a guy named Jack Stack up in Springfield, Missouri. I had many close friends in Springfield so at first I was mostly interested because of that angle, but I quickly grew interested in this new thing Stack was doing. Open book management. It was remarkable, especially in the early 80’s.

This novel concept was primarily based on sharing information – particularly financial data – that would help employees better understand how their work impacted the entire organization. It seemed so drop dead simple. And powerful. And it was. That was around 1983. You’d think in the intervening 3 decades or so since that we’d all collectively smarter about our candor, not just with numbers, but with our emotions and concerns, too. Not so much.

Courage in the face of adversity is often depicted as stoic, stiff upper lip, gritted teeth forging ahead. That’s hogwash.

People don’t want a robotic leader. They want to follow a man or woman who is real. Somebody who really cares. Somebody who is free to feel pain and let people know it hurts.

We’re inspired by leaders who we see get knocked down, but with tears streaming down their face they rise back to their feet. Maybe they just stand there momentarily to gather themselves. Maybe they have to pick up their weapon, knocked from their hand in the course of the battle, but pick it up – they do! Wiping the sweat from above their eyes, they start to move forward again. As they walk we see a more steely resolve come over their face. It’s the look we love to follow. That look of tenacity that won’t be denied, even if there’s another knock down coming. People are watching for those things and when they see them, they rise to the occasion.

Use failure as a propellant. Use it to strengthen yourself and your organization.

Four years after failing to win a single game, Troy Aikman lifted the Lombardi Trophy as a SuperBowl Champion. It could easily be argued that without the failure he – and some of his remaining teammates – may have never understood the resolve needed to put in the work necessary to win it all. Maybe the coaching staff and front office would have never had the determination to do the work necessary to construct and train a team prepared to hoist that trophy had they never experienced having their teeth kicked in week after week. They learned how to get out from under their failure and in doing so, they learned how to succeed.

Success is always found in the same place. It’s right there after you figure out a way to get out from under that failure. It’s just waiting to see who is going to come get it.

Randy

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The Power Of Leverage: For Clients, Employees, Sales & Profits - GROW GREAT Podcast Episode 4005

4005 The Power Of Leverage: For Clients, Employees, Sales & Profits

The Power Of Leverage: For Clients, Employees, Sales & Profits - GROW GREAT Podcast Episode 4005

Today’s show as sparked by somebody desiring to start up a new enterprise and wondering what I thought about it. Talk turned to leverage and how to gain momentum, especially with a new venture. I don’t necessarily serve the start up niche, but it was a valid conversation any way.

It’s easier to put your back into it when you’ve got leverage on it. Whatever IT is.

Without leverage, putting your back into it will cause you to put your back out! Be careful.

Gladwell calls it “the tipping point.” Others call it by various things. Traction. Momentum. Being on a roll.

It’s mostly similar. It’s the ability to build on success. Sure, more is better, but not always necessary. And as with most things, a key phrase is in play.

It depends.

Is it easier to leverage substantial profits into more profits? Maybe. It depends. Sometimes the leverage becomes more difficult. If you set a record in profits last year, it may be tough to best it again this year. But maybe not. Again, it depends.

Leverage, like most things, isn’t a one-size-fits-all circumstance kinda of a deal. Even so, we’re foolish if we don’t closely examine the power of leverage in our careers, businesses or organizations.

I’ve headlined today’s show with four specific areas: a) clients or customers (those people who pay us for what we can do for them), b) employees, c) sales or revenues and d) profits.

They’re not really in a specific order except for that first one because unless you’ve got a customer (or many customers) you don’t have a business. Recently I’ve read a few blog posts on big time sites that list the most important things needed for a successful startup. It’s surprising how many don’t list customers!

You can have all the technological advantages known to man, the best people cranking out the work and whatever else you want – including tons of capital behind you – but if you don’t have people willing to pay you for what you offer, you’re out of business. Sometimes I laugh at the obvious advice offered in this world where everybody seems to be a teacher of success.

Last week I was listening to a podcast I’d never heard before. Somebody told me to check it out so I did by randomly picking an episode. A few minutes in the guy is extolling the virtues of an email list. He’s talking how powerful an email list is and how his list is worth a specific dollar amount every time he sends out a specific offer to sell something. It seemed like more bragging than anything else. I listened for a few more minutes before giving up on it. I’d heard this all before.

The way to make money online:

Step 1: Build your email list. The money is in the list.

Step 2: Sell something to your list.

Step 3: Watch the money roll in, even while you sleep.

It’s like so much other sage advice out there. Let me go ahead right now and tell you how to become a millionaire. Ready?

Step 1: Get a million dollars.

Step 2: Call yourself a millionaire.

Thank you. Thank you very much!

The hard part is step 1. That’s the step that’ll trip you up every time! 😀

I’m left always thinking, “Well, duh! Of course the money is in the list, but other than generic crapola, how do you do that?” Well, leverage isn’t some mumbo-jumbo fru-fru stuff. It’s real and it really works.

I’ll warn you upfront, the hard part is getting started. The hard part is step 1. No doubt. It’s a grind that can take a very long time.

Finding a paying customer isn’t easy. Yes, it depends on what you’re selling and to whom, but it’s never easy. And if it is easy, then it’s not lucrative. The only thing easy about it the concept of it all. Supply and demand. Pretty simple stuff really, in theory.

Take GOLD. Do you ever watch the Discovery TV show, Gold Rush? Gold isn’t easy to find. Well, other than going to the mall jewelry store. But if you’re trying to find raw gold where you can make some money, prepare to sweat and cuss. The demand is high, but the supply is limited. That’s why gold is currently selling for $821.50 per troy ounce. Supply is limited because it’s brutal work to extract gold from acres and acres of dirt. Customers are easy. Getting the inventory – the thing you need to sell (in this case, gold) – that’s crazy hard.

I got a spammer’s email the other day that I happened to open because it got through my filter. The guy was selling some online course about how to kill it with your own Amazon store. His pitch was that he could teach you how to set up a super profitable Amazon store where you could make money while you sleep. These people either sleep a lot or they’re obsessed with earning money whilst sleeping. At any rate, he talked about how his course would teach you where to buy inventory that people desperately want. Yes, they’re desperate for this merchandise. Hello, supply and demand. If everybody can buy the same merchandise to sell and then post it at Amazon in their own Amazon store, then supply is open. Demand is sure to be low, along with any potential money to be earned. No go!

Leverage is important because first we have to create and establish VALUE. Value is low when supply is abundant. Supply is abundant when it’s easy. Easy isn’t the ideal way to make money. It takes deep pockets, scope and scale to make money in easy or abundant. Think Wal-Mart or Amazon. Think of your local grocery store chain. They operate on razor thin margins because supply isn’t much of an issue. Having what you want to buy, when you want to buy it, at the lowest possible price to keep you coming back week after week – that’s the game. It’s more of a system or process thing driven by technology than anything else.

But you don’t have deep pockets, not like Wal-Mart or Amazon. You need to leverage a fifth thing – your capital or resources. You need the strongest return-on-investment (ROI) you can get. But again, first, you need customers.

Today, I just want to focus on getting to first base in all of these: clients, employees, sales and profits.

Get your first client. Don’t worry about getting anybody else. Worry about and strategize on ways to get your first customer! Do whatever you need to do to get somebody willing to say YES. Make a sale. Head up (or down, whichever you prefer) and get a customer. Find somebody who thinks you’ve got exactly what they need.

I’m not saying give it away. Free samples are valid. A free taste. I do that with coaching so people can test drive me before they write me a check. The sole purpose is to convert them into a client though. My intention is to be so dazzling and high value that they’ll be compelled to say, “Okay, this is awesome. I want to hire you.” From one free session I hope to gain a client for 6 months or a year. It legit because I’m not cheap, but I am high value. I think people deserve to get a sense of my work before they engage me. Not everybody needs it, but some do. So I’m cool with making the offer even if it costs me some time and results in no sale! Those are risks I’m willing to make because I’m leveraging my time. More importantly, I’m leveraging my experience, expertise and skill. I’m giving people a taste of it so they can better know me. It results in trust and usually results in a mutual discovery that this dog will hunt.

You’ll be tempted to think if you can sell one, you can sell two. Maybe. Maybe not. It depends. Was your mom your first sale? See, that skews things dramatically.

But there is a number you can leverage. I don’t know where it is. You likely don’t know either until you start moving. It’s like obscenity. You’ll know it when you see it.

That’s why you often hear the phrase, “The rich get richer.” It’s true. They do. Because money is a wonderful leverage tool. During the recent recession I knew business men who took advantage of the real estate crash because they had a resource others didn’t have. MONEY. CASH MONEY. They were able to move in with their cash and leverage it into assets worth a lot more because people were desperate for their resource. People had real estate, but needed money. Now that real estate prices are up double digits, those investments are worth far more than these guys paid. The power of leverage.

Companies do the same thing with employees. Look at the top employers based on employee feedback. Why do they attract the best talent? Because they got it started. Again, the key is to get it going. If your company sucks at recruiting or retaining top talent, nothing will change until you make that a focal point. First, you’ve got to figure out what you need to change to attract the talent you most want. Next, you’ve got to change things so you become what and who you need to be to get such people. Then, you have to go find your first rock star employee. Leverage that employee to find your second rock star employee.

The University of Alabama football team has won the national championship 4 out of the last 7 years. They’ve been able to leverage recruiting some of the best football players in the country because good players (rock stars) want to hang with and perform with other good players. Like football players, there are plenty of talented people to go around. You can get rock stars if you want them. But you have to get your first one or all bets are off.

Sales is coupled with clients. You can’t have one without the other. Well, you can if you’re a non-profit I guess, but we’re not talking about that. For our purposes, a client or customer is somebody willing to pay you money for your product or service. Sales are different because you might sell one client something for $100 and another customer might buy something for $1000. That’s two different levels of leverage. Maybe. It depends.

You figure the $1000 sale might be more likely to leverage into another $1000 sale. It could be. And you should try. Leveraging sales is like visiting a busy restaurant versus one that’s empty. People want to do business with somebody others find valuable. Especially if we’re unsure or the business is an unknown to us. That’s why referrals and recommendations are important.

Higher sales drive sales higher. Or they can. But again, let’s concentrate on the first sale. Maybe it’s our first $100 sale. But it could be our first $1000 sale. Or our first $10,000 sale. Get the first one. Again, slog it out, grind it out, put in the work. You have to get one before you can get any hope of leverage.

Ditto for profits. They work much like sales, but they’re harder. Well, in some ways. Nearly everybody I know complains about profit margins eroding. If sales are going well, profits are always at risk. Or so it seems. There’s always pressure on profits, driven in part by competition. Name the industry and give me Google and within seconds I’ll find the bottom feeder of that industry – the outfit who seemingly is unconcerned about making any money!

Here’s the real bottom line with leverage: you have to have something to get something. You can’t leverage NOTHING.

For those of you with growing businesses though, there are lessons to be learned. It’s more common than you’d think to forget the power of leverage or to assume that leverage is on auto-pilot. Don’t neglect your leverage. Do so at your own peril. I’ve seen it happen. We get on a roll and assume we can keep this roll going. Until it doesn’t keep going. All of a sudden we hit a pot hole we never saw coming and BAM! Momentum (and leverage) are stopped dead in their tracks.

It happens when a company tries to cut their way to success. Good luck with that strategy. They never thought they’d be bleeding, but here they are with blood spilling out everywhere.

Like a skilled Judo opponent, sometimes our own body weight can be used against us. Leverage that we once had now belongs to our competitor, or the market. We’ve lost it and it can be a demon to get back!

But that’s the job – to find the leverage again (or for the first time).

Turnaround artists are skillful at this. It’s a special skill set some have. They can enter a business that has lost momentum and leverage, and with a bit of time and some resources they can put their back into it and get it back. They look carefully at the operation and dissect what’s really happening to see where to marshall the resources so they can get the thing back on its feet.

Get one. Your first one. Then get another one. And another one. Use the first to get the second. Then use the first two to get the third. Use the first 3 to get the second 3 and you’ve doubled. That’s leverage.

It’s the wise use of resources and the readiness to use them. It’s courage, tenacity and determination. Honestly, it’s not much else except maybe discipline! Sure, know how helps, but it’s not nearly as important as the other aspects.

Look at where you are right now. Wherever that is, however good or bad – see it for what it really is. We’ve all got things we can leverage to help us grow great, or greater. It can be hard to see when we’re staring down a problem though. The mountain looks daunting to climb when you’re standing at the base. So start climbing. Grab the first hand hold. Plant your foot on the first ledge or inside the first crevice. Now, look for the next move. The very next move. Using one step to find your next step is leverage.

Here’s the thing. Until you grab hold of something there’s no leverage. Until you get off the ground and onto the mountain, no leverage. I know it sounds obvious, and it really is. But I also know how obvious escapes the smartest among us. We’re so busy chasing our tails and putting out fires, it can be hard. Or, we can forget about it. Sometimes we just grow too complacent and over time some failures seem to illustrate our false belief that we’re just not one of the lucky ones. Truth is, we’re neglecting to do the work to leverage success into greater success, or to even leverage our failure away from more failure…and toward more success!

So today, get off your butt. Go get one win. Big, small or anything in between. Then get another one. Success is a habit and we could all use better habits.

Randy

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Don't Be Offensive: IBM's White Shirt Strategy

4004 Don’t Be Offensive: IBM’s White Shirt Strategy

Don't Be Offensive: IBM's White Shirt Strategy

Our next door neighbor was an IBM’er. She traveled a lot. She was single so she said she didn’t mind it much. We had 2 rug rats running loose on the neighborhood. She drove a BMW. We did NOT. It was the early 1980’s and life inside IBM was assumed to be about as good as it gets in corporate America. Of course, I was never attracted to corporate America. Or travel. So I had very little envy for her lifestyle. It wasn’t lost on me that she was living a lifestyle as a single person that I was living with a family of four though. I remember thinking, “What’s wrong with this picture?”

These were the days where IBM set the standard for sales and service. They were the safe bet for any corporate expenditure. Nobody was ever going to be fired, or even endure criticism by selecting IBM as the vendor. IBM representatives were buttoned down (literally) professionals known for dropping from the sky if there was ever a problem.

My neighbor didn’t have it quite as regimented as her male counterparts, but she likely endured much higher scrutiny as a woman. The men of IBM didn’t wear facial hair and wore only white shirts. As she explained it to me, IBM wanted to make sure they did not offend a prospect or a customer. Research had shown them that some people don’t like facial hair…so no facial hair. Research had also shown that people assume a degree of professionalism with a white shirt that may not be assumed if a person wore a blue or yellow shirt. So white shirts it is!

IBM has even chronicled their attire through the years at their website. Just go here and you’ll see years and years of IBM attire.

I have never been an IBM insider so I have no knowledge if this was an official stance or a skunkwork of management. Either way, I’ve had multiple IBM’ers through the years tell me the same thing. Admittedly, my information is all circa 1980’s.

The other day somebody engaged me in a conversation about selling and appealing to as many people as possible. Of course, we quickly began to talk of all the profanity we hear and see today. Something neither of us experienced coming up through the ranks. F bombs abound in social media posts, speeches and blog posts. Yes, there’s a ton of informal marketing going on today that was mostly limited to one-on-one conversations in the old days. You can judge for yourself such matters, but our focal point was on the age old premise IBM followed, “Don’t be offensive.”

There’s little doubt it worked. Well, coupled with great products and services and an intense focus on the customer. I won’t credit IBM’s success of the 1980’s on the white shirts and no facial hair on men (facial hair on a woman would be VERY offensive). But I do understand the thought process.

I even remember reading somewhere an IBM executive make what seemed like a sound argument. He wrote that if a male IBM sales rep were to visit a prospect who didn’t like men with beards, and he (the IBM rep) had a beard…why put yourself at a disadvantage before you ever get an opportunity to inform the prospect what you can do for him. It made sense to me. Still does, actually.

The world has changed. Today in 2016 we’re not dealing with the same culture that existed in the 1980’s. For some, being offensive is a unique positioning intentionally crafted. No, I’m not attracted to it, but many are. Just go on social media and look closely at how profanity has infiltrated the headlines of content marketing – blogs, podcasts, articles, videos and photos. F bombs. S bombs. And everything in between. Being offensive has become a niche marketing tactic to prove hipness.*

*The fact that I even use the term “hipness” proves how unhip I am.

Offensive Vs. Being Unique

I admire IBM’s strategy of being inoffensive. The atmosphere is clouded because I think some people misunderstand offensive and uniqueness. I’m personally opposed to the former, but a big fan of the latter.

Might some people be offended or put off by your uniqueness? Of course. Anything is possible.

button down shirt and tieI hate button down collared shirts worn with a tie. It’s a personal preference thing. They look rumpled and awful. I’m not offended by them, but it’s not an attractive look to me. Whenever I see a guy wearing it, it bugs me. Would I refuse to buy from such a person? I might. I might not. There would probably be other elements involved.

I mean look at that photo — and this guy has loosened his tie. It would look worse with the tie cinched up to his neck. I’m crazy enough that I’d be thinking, “What’s he thinking?” But here’s the deal. I’m not offended by it. I’m put off by the look though.

Offensive is defined as “causing someone to feel deeply hurt, upset, or angry.” No, this look doesn’t offend me. But I can’t imagine facial hair on a man causing offense, even in the 1980’s when I wore a mustache! I was young then. There were plenty of old heads who ran companies though and they had no tolerance for men with facial hair working in their companies. So it made sense to me that IBM wanted clean shaven representatives.

Now there’s a vast difference in that buttoned down collar with a tie look and dropping F bombs.

The question and lesson for us is – what can we do or avoid doing to attract our prospects?

Offensive also means “actively aggressive; attacking.” Profanity laced content is actively aggressive. Intentionally so. I’ve heard some marketers who regularly use it claim it’s who they are and how they roll. They argue that it helps them dissect the market and separate the people willing to do business with them versus those unwilling. They think it clears the way toward more effective reach – namely, giving them a leg up on reaching their “ideal” prospect.

Okay. I’m not sure about all that, but if that’s how they want to roll, no skin off my nose. I’m just unsure I buy it. There are some big name social media rockstars who regularly use profanity. Seems to me an awful lot of people are copying that, wrongly assuming that their profanity is one reason for their popularity. Instead, I’d encourage those people to consider the substance of their content, not their profanity-centric style.

I acknowledge that we’re in an age where style over substance is often a reality. We often ascribe substance where style exists. And where style is absent, we think there must not be any substance. It’s true in music, art and business. Probably in lots of other spaces, too.

Choose your strategy. I’m only encouraging us to consider our strategy carefully so we can give ourselves the best opportunity for success.

The other day I got a meeting with a top business owner. He started the business in the late 1960’s. I’m old. He’s older. I put on a black suit, a white shirt and a striped tie. Yes, I admit I dressed with him in mind. I felt it was the respectful thing to do.

I know others might criticize me for that. They’d say, “Dress the way you want. Be who you want to be. Be who you really are.”

If it were up to me I’d wear my black jeans, my New Balance sneakers and a fleece pullover. But I wanted to have a good interaction with this business owner. I’m trying to engage him in meaningful conversation. I’m not trying to put him off and give him any reason to think, “I don’t want to spend any time with this guy.”

I’m not in the fashion trade. If I were, then perhaps I could understand the argument to dress like I want. I’m in the coaching and consulting business. I need my prospects to talk to me. I’m not going in guns blazing telling them all about me. I’m asking about THEM. I want them to tell me more about themselves and their businesses. How I dress and how I speak could quickly ruin that.

As the owner came to the lobby to greet me, I stood, shook his hand firmly while looking him in the eye and quickly thanked him for making the time to see me. As we were seated in a small conference room he introduced me to his assistant. I introduced myself to her, shook her hand and expressed pleasure in meeting her. It’s manners. Professional etiquette. Appropriate dress and behavior. At least that’s how I view it.

As we began to talk I’m rather certain he got some sense of me and my uniqueness. I hope so. I didn’t talk about myself. I asked him about his career and his business. That’s what I was mostly interested in. I wasn’t interested in finding somebody I had never met before and being able to hold forth telling them all about me. This guy was super smart, very bright and engaging. The meeting went well and I was thrilled to have met him. Will we do business? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. But I know I had a good meeting because I was prepared and because I made him the focal point of my preparation and my actions. He was the centerpiece of the meeting, not me.

Who is this about?

I’m mostly put off by some of the marketing and positioning I see because I think the focal point is wrong headed. Marketers think it’s about THEM. Not the client or customer. Or prospect.

Nearly every week I tell people that the main benefit of my podcast is likely found in people’s opportunity to click play, listen to a few minutes and figure out whether I’m their cup of tea or not. It gives prospects the opportunity to find out pretty quickly if I’m a personality they can relate to or not. Yes, I’m myself. I’m honest here. The way you hear me talk is how I talk. It would be completely dishonest to speak as I do here, then when you meet me in person I’m some foul-talking, in your face kind of a person. You’d think, “Man, he’s not at all how I thought he’d be.”

For me, it’s disrespectful of the prospect and customer. I find nothing wrong with dressing and preparing for a meeting with the prospect in mind, not myself. There are going to be plenty of people who will never do business with me, for whatever reason. I need to give myself the best chance possible to do business with some. For those few, I want them to see and hear and understand how important they are to my career and my business.

So let’s end with some questions that may help all of us better figure this out.

  1. How does your attire, speech and behavior help you differentiate yourself? Or does it?
  2. How do these things attract prospects? (Is it about attracting the right people or about repelling the wrong people?)
  3. How do these things give success a better chance?
  4. Are you really being true to who you are, or are you being sucked into copying something you think is popular?
  5. Is respect and politeness part of your competitive advantage?

There are tons of other questions worth asking. I’d encourage you to keep asking and answering them. Figure out what you’re doing, what you want to do and examine closely what’s working versus what’s not working.

The goal is improvement. We just want to grow as great as we possibly can.

All the best,
Randy

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