Listening Your Way To Growth – Grow Great Daily Brief #152 – February 7, 2019

Listening Your Way To Growth – Grow Great Daily Brief #152 – February 7, 2019

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”  – Ernest Hemingway

Hemingway was right. Most people don’t listen. At least, not well enough. Or often enough.

My son owns and operates his own home inspection business. Here in Texas, that’s a licensed occupation requiring substantial training and certification. The other day we were chatting about all the opportunities in the trades, especially in a big market like Dallas/Ft. Worth. He’s got very solid people skills – those soft skills that present big challenges for some. We’ve both had frequent encounters with business owners in various trades, but he’s obviously running into more of them than me. During our chat, I commented that too many of these people talk too much. They’re busy with what they want to say to pay close enough attention to how the customer or prospect is reacting. He confirmed that he sees the same thing.

It’s not just a problem among the trades. It’s fairly rampant everywhere.

Questions determine our success.

Many years ago I crafted a mantra, “The quality of our questions determines the quality of our business.” The context? Salespeople who asked stupid questions because they weren’t thinking clearly enough. The result was ongoing, systemic problems that could have easily been avoided if salespeople would have just asked better questions.

Through the years I’ve continued to use that mantra because it seems to be accurate in every area of business building. It’s true in selling, negotiating, buying and any other business activity. For good reason. It’s communication. Get better at it, and it’ll help you grow as a person – and it’ll help you grow your business.

But there’s something else to it.

Curiosity and learning.

Have you noticed that the people who talk too much are never asked questions? We don’t have to ask them. We know that at the first pause they’ll run their mouth until they run out of breath. Some won’t stop even then. We’re not very interested in what these people have to say. Ironic, huh?

Then there’s the person we’d like to learn from, but they don’t dominate the conversation. Maybe that’s why we’re drawn to them.

They’ll tell us if we ask. But won’t if we don’t.

Questions give us opportunities to listen, but only if we’re being honest in how we use them. Don’t ask a question to set yourself up to talk. Ask a question to discover what you don’t know. Ask your questions to learn, understand and grow (LUG). When you narrow your focus on LUG it’ll alter how you construct questions. It’ll completely change the questions you ask, and how you go about it, too.

Curiosity and learning are drivers. And results.

Your curiosity finds satisfaction in listening to great questions answered. Your learning is expanded when you listen to answers with a motive to understand.

Pay attention to the person. Watch them carefully. Listen to them even more so. Be intentional in trying to understand the person. It’s deeper than trying to understand what they’re saying. That’s important, but understanding who they are and what they’re feeling is equally important.

When you’re selling (and at other times, too) there’s another enormous value in asking questions – which provide you an opportunity for active listening. You demonstrate that you care about the other person and what they think, and feel. How do you feel when somebody takes a genuine interest in you by asking you about your life? Exactly. Make sure you do that for others, especially your employees, prospects and customers. I’d urge you to do it with as many people as possible. Every day.

Two-Year-Olds Show Us The Way

Hang around any small child, a 2-year-old. You’ll be peppered with questions because there are many things they don’t understand. Their curiosity is off the hook. Two-year-olds have a special skill to pepper you with questions. They never hit a snag in thinking of a new one to ask. It’s the sign of a mind working to learn, understand and grow.

Don’t be pesky like a 2-year-old. Leave interrogations for the professions that require it. But be interested. Be curious. Be THAT interested and THAT curious about others and what they can show you. Be less interested in yourself.

There’s the rub. Be less interested in yourself. 

That’s why listening often fails.

One, people aren’t that interested in the other person. They’re not that curious about them. Big mistake. For your growth and the growth of your business.

Foster, build and increase your curiosity. Pride and arrogance are the enemies. The people with the least amount of curiosity and interest in others are the most pompous. They know more than you. What they have to say is more important than what you have to say. Their story is more interesting than yours. Their wisdom is deeper than yours. Don’t be that guy.

Two, people don’t work at being present. More than ever it’s tough to be in the moment. Eye contact doesn’t happen nearly enough. A nanosecond attention span doesn’t help.

When you’re leaning hard into learning, understanding and growth LISTEN. Be present. Be in the moment. Don’t be distracted. Put the phone away. Put other thoughts out of your head. Look at the other person as though they’re the only important person on the planet at this moment. Because for you, they are the most important person. If they’re not, then why are you spending your time with them?

I sometimes have to work at this because I get preoccupied. For me, it’s never driven by me wanting to chime in or anything like that. It’s that my mind is elsewhere, dwelling on something else. There’s no excuse, but we’re not perfect. Notice how often the people we love the most tend to get the short end of this stick. Right?

Stop doing that. Concentrate on being in the moment. The more you practice it, the better you’ll get.

Three, people are so unpracticed they can’t pick up on the cues. When we’re talking with people there are lots of cues. Just because you don’t see them doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Many a great question has gone unasked because we didn’t pick up details of an answer. We weren’t listening closely enough to pick up on a prompt. A prompt that could have led to another, deeper understanding. If only we’d have asked the question.

Everybody wants to share their story. We mostly go through life with few people, if anybody, asking us. The only thing more frustrating than nobody asking is somebody asking, then not listening. It’s far more insulting than not asking.

As my son and I were talking about listening, especially during the sales process, we both knew that tradesmen and all other business people suffer the same malady. We desperately want people to know what we do, how we do it, and all the other stuff that we think matters to them. What we often fail to understand is that our prospects – and everybody else we encounter – is WAY more interested in themselves and what they want. They’ll tell us if we’ll just ask, shut up and listen.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Make Your Mind Your Strongest Muscle – Grow Great Daily Brief #151 – February 6, 2019

Make Your Mind Your Strongest Muscle – Grow Great Daily Brief #151 – February 6, 2019

Do you workout? Maybe take walks? Lift a few weights? Or do you ignore all that stuff and neglect your fitness?

Don’t. Commit to improved health right now. Just a little bit every day until you make it a positive habit.

But I don’t care if you get 6-pack abs or not. I’m more interested in the muscle between your ears because that’s THE most important one. Get that one fit and it’ll serve your entire life well.

Last week Undeniable with Dan Patrick premiered on the Audience Channel, a DIRECTV exclusive. Joe Buck used to host the show. Dan’s first guest was Ray Lewis, Hall of Fame linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens and 2-time SuperBowl champion. Listening to Lewis’ story made me realize I didn’t quite judge him correctly.

Every episode of the show they have a quote by the guest up on a wall. Ray Lewis’ quote was…

“The hardest thing to do is work hard when no one is watching.”

Ray’s story is interesting and like all great stories, it includes a ton of adversity and determination. We’re surrounded by books, articles and podcasts sharing stories of intense resolve by people of extraordinary talent (like Ray Lewis) and people who are far more common and ordinary in their natural talent. But they’ve got something others don’t, a very fit mind. A strong mind.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”    – Norman Vincent Peale

Most of us have heard such things all our lives. It still seems like hocus pocus for many of us. Just so much mumbo jumbo. I suppose that’s why it works so marvelously for the few who are able to really engage their brain with whatever they’re trying to achieve. It largely hinges on how driven people are to get their mind in gear toward a pursuit.

What do you most want to accomplish?

What’s the very next step?

I pose these 2 questions because it seems to me they reveal the stumbling block facing many people I encounter. And they also represent the stumbling blocks that often get in my way.

The human mind is able to hold two contradictory thoughts. That doesn’t mean we ought to practice that. We’re also able to have many ambitions. Dreaming and imagining provide countless fictional opportunities for our life. They may be fictional only because they’re not yet real. Or they may be fictional because there’s no way they’ll happen because we all have limitations. Ray Lewis was a Hall Of Famer not merely because he had his mind made up to be a great football player. He had the talent and physical skills necessary. He needed both. Natural talent and skills are required, but without a mind made up…Ray Lewis wouldn’t be in the Hall. Lots of football players have tremendous physical talent and skills, but they lack a strong muscle in their head.

All the possibilities can distract us from growing great. Entrepreneurs can pursue this idea, or that one, or fourteen others. We can do it this way, or that way. Or a hundred other ways. It speaks to the WHAT question. What do you most want to accomplish? We all have to settle on something. It doesn’t mean that has to be our one thing for all time, but it means our lives need focus – a singular purpose – if we’re going to develop a strong mind.

Weight training illustrates the point. A person walks up to the bench and engages in a one exercise at a time. Circuit training can involve multiple exercises, but they’re happening one movement at a time. Bench presses are the focus. Or something else. That’s the focus in the moment. What’s your focus in this moment?

Sometimes people ask me about podcasting because I’ve been doing it for so long. I’ve talked with people who want to start a podcast, but they don’t know what they want to talk about. Others have told me they’d like to do an interview show, or maybe a show about some hit TV show, or about some book series. These people have no focus. Their attention isn’t directed toward anything except starting a podcast. Most of them never did start. In part, it’s because they didn’t figure out what they wanted to accomplish. They just wanted to start a podcast, but that’s insufficient. That’s a weak mental position that won’t produce anything other than a thought or a dream.

Make your mind your strongest muscle by settling in on one thing you most want to accomplish. Business people can be among the worst to have a thousand great ideas. The hard part is to take an idea from start to profit. To keep enough focus – to make your mind strong enough to hold a single ambition long enough to achieve success. So often people start, then peter out before the thing has any hope of getting anywhere. That’s why that Ray Lewis quote I saw on his interview struck me.

“The hardest thing to do is work hard when no one is watching.”

For many of us the hardest thing to do it to maintain the mental resolve to press on until we succeed. We often quit too soon.

If you can set your mind toward a single goal, then you can make your mind an even stronger muscle by figuring out the very next step. Just the very next step.

You’re tempted to want to figure out every step between here and the final destination, but that won’t make your mind stronger. Truth is, that’ll weaken your mind because you’ll start crossing bridges in your imagination that you may never have to cross. Looking too far ahead will distract you, weaken you and likely cause you to veer off course.

Learn to live by one question, “Now what?” Some may prefer another version of that, “What’s next?” It’s the same notion. One step at a time. Just take the very next step, then figure out the next one after that.

People can be so prone to want to get every step perfectly right that fear stops people from moving at all. Which is why many dreams die on the couch. Inaction. Too much sitting around. No muscle, including your mind, is made stronger without exercise. Your mind needs your body to engage in doing something about the thoughts and ambitions. That’ll make your mind strong enough to drive your life across the finish line of whatever you hope to achieve.

There’s something else about getting ahead of yourself. You’ll talk yourself out of doing what you most need to do. Doubt and fear creep in when you get too far ahead. That’s the sign of a weak mind. Strong minds hold firmly onto the most immediate action needed. So much so, the strong mind takes that action! Then figures out the next action to take.

If you’re a physical fitness nut, that’s great. But don’t neglect the muscle that you need to be the strongest of all – your mind. Few things are more powerful than a mind made up.

Be well. Do good. Grow great.

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Chasing Customers – Grow Great Daily Brief #150 – February 5, 2019

Chasing Customers – Grow Great Daily Brief #150 – February 5, 2019

As a business operator, you can chase any number of things. Each pursuit is different and you should know the risks and rewards.

Some entrepreneurs are chasing fame. They want celebrity. Well, I’m not talking about that kind of pursuit. Instead, I’m talking about the things necessary to build and grow your business. Things like cash, products, services, employees, and customers.

The first thing most businesses have to chase? Customers. Until you have a customer you don’t have a business. Every business needs people willing to trust us enough to buy whatever we’re selling!

Finding and acquiring customers is a big, big topic. It’s what marketing and selling are all about. There are tons of experts willing to share their insights on how you can improve those activities. You’d think it would have all been thought of, written about, promoted and well known by now. And it probably has, except the tactical part. The tools are always changing. Human behavior adapts and adjusts, too. But the principles are likely tried and true. The difference is like a diet program…you have to figure out what resonates for you. Find what works.

Chasing customers can be like any of these pursuits, exhausting. But there’s one thing about chasing customers that is different from some of these other business building/growth pursuits. The more quickly you’re able to get customers the more encouraged you are that your business is valid. Failure to capture customers is supremely discouraging and it may mean the idea isn’t valid. Or it may mean something else. It can be depressing and daunting to figure out what’s wrong. Why can’t I get customers? Or, why can’t I get more customers? It may be a million things and that makes this pursuit difficult when we’re struggling.

It’s necessary to chase customers. It has to be the first pursuit. Above all others. 

Everything else can wait. When you’re starting out, even cash has to wait (kinda sorta) because your path to cash is a customer!

Does “chasing” sound too adversarial? I get it. I don’t mean it like that though. I mean it as in chasing something good. Like pursuing something valuable. And like accepting the responsibility that you need to influence the outcome, not just wait for something to happen.

Don’t be bashful to pursue customers. Let me more properly define “chase” or “pursue.”

I don’t mean corner people, coerce people, or even sell people. Selling people is ideally giving people the opportunity to make up their own mind by supplying them with the true value you can provide. Largely, it’s educating people on what’s possible. It’s not manipulating people into doing what you want.

I’ll use myself as an example because it’s always easier to pick on myself than somebody else. I’m not saying what I do is perfect or even ideal. I think you need to figure it out for yourself and do what works for you. Everybody has to do what feels appropriate for them.

My objective in chasing customers is to first get people’s attention, then inform them (educate) on what I’m able to do to help them and then allow them to decide. I don’t talk anybody into or out of anything. Ever. I respect whatever decision people make. And I’m aware that they may decide based on my ineptness to properly convey what I want, but that’s how it goes. I’m not perfect. They’re not perfect. And if they miss out on an opportunity to work with me, it’s just the price we both pay for my botched effort. 😉

I’m always more interested in the prospect and their business. If you happen to talk with me on the phone I’m going to ask you about yourself and your business. It’s not an interrogation. Nor is it some convoluted qualifying process. It’s just a friendly conversation so I can get to know you better. Sales coaches would be highly critical of me and my process. I don’t care. I know who I am and I know what feels right to me. Those folks can judge me all they want. They don’t have to live my life. I do. I’d encourage you to roll the way you have to roll. Stop trying to fool people. Don’t pretend. Don’t act. Just be you and if prospects don’t like it, be happy to live with the outcome. It’s the age-old maxim, “You have to be willing to be hated by some in order to be loved by others.”

If I were to put a percentage on the phone call, I’d say 95% or more is spent in me learning all I can about somebody. Less than 5% is spent even telling them what I’m offering – the solution or value I might offer. That’s not likely ideal for me, but it feels right to me. I’m sure I could close more business if I were pushier, but I’m not pushy. I treat everybody the way I’d like to be treated. I don’t ever want to corner a prospect. But almost every day I encounter people selling me and they’re willing (I can’t be sure how happy they are about it) to corner me. Or to try. Try to corner me and it won’t go well for you. And I’ll hang up feeling awful myself. Everybody loses. That’s just too high a risk for the other person and for me. So I never do it. NEVER.

So for me, chasing and pursuit look an awful lot like a friendly, deep conversation that ends in a polite invitation. If people accept my invitation, great. If they don’t, I don’t judge them. Or get angry. Or feel like I blew it. Even though I’m sure sometimes I do blow it. So it goes. Life ain’t perfect and neither am I. New flash, you aren’t either!

If we don’t ask, we won’t get. When you believe in what you’re doing – and I absolutely believe in what I’m doing – then extending an invitation is a perfectly honorable thing. Would you hesitate to hand somebody an invitation to a celebration because you want them to attend, but you’re afraid they may not want to? Well, don’t. Give them the opportunity to attend. Or not. And unlike that birthday party invitation, don’t put a negative spin on the outcome. If they accept, great. If they refuse, it doesn’t mean they hate you or your birthday party.

I bring that up because people don’t invite people to do business with them because they make the decision for their prospect. Who gave you that right? They don’t have the right to figure it out for themselves? I’m constantly urging YOU to figure it out. I’m not offended if you don’t do exactly what I do. I’m only offended if you don’t even try to learn, understand and grow. I want a better outcome for you. If that doesn’t come across in this podcast, then I’m failing miserably. I don’t spend my time spinning content into a subtle sales pitch. Sometimes I tell you what I’m doing and ask if you’re interested. But that happens so rarely I’m often criticized by others who tell me, “You’re not selling anything. What’s wrong with you?”

Nothing is wrong with me. I’m peddling ideas and encouragement. Mostly.

I want people to grow great. If I can contribute with this podcast and never collect a single dollar from you, that’s great. I’m happy to have that outcome. Why else would I do this podcast if I weren’t happy with that outcome? But if you check me out and think a coach could help accelerate your growth and you think I’d be a good fit for you, then that’s also a great outcome. My chasing customers look the same either way. I want YOU to get what you need to grow great. Period.

It doesn’t make me better or worse than anybody. It doesn’t make how I roll right or wrong. It’s just what it is – it’s my personal commitment to how I need to roll in order to be happy with myself. I want you to be happy with yourself, too.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Chasing Customers – Grow Great Daily Brief #150 – February 5, 2019 Read More »

Hugging Out Your Struggle – Grow Great Daily Brief #149 – February 4, 2019

Hugging Out Your Struggle – Grow Great Daily Brief #149 – February 4, 2019

Let me drop the bottom line on you:

you’re going to become better because of the struggle.

It’s going to serve you better than anything else. That’s why it deserves a hug when most people want to push it aside.

Look at the stories we’re attracted to. Whether true or fiction. The most compelling stories involve a hero who overcomes severe adversity. But they’re not a hero until they stare down the adversity and refuse to lose to it.

Heroes hug it out with their struggle. And I want you to be a hero. So today it’s Monday, the start of a brand new week. I’m encouraging you to act heroically. You can do it, but you may have to shift how you view your struggle.

“Why me?” is a universal question people ask when things are hard.

What if we flipped it around though. If our potential hero status is determined by the struggle, why not instead make a declaration of gratitude, “Hello, Struggle. I’m happy to have you.”

It’ll sound ridiculous to some. It’ll resonate with a few. Very few. And I know why.

Not everybody has the stuff necessary to be a hero. Do you? Maybe it’s time to find out. Or maybe you already know.

Mostly, I suspect people know they’re not a hero and they live every day with doubt. Doubt they can do it. Doubt they can overcome. Doubt they can endure. Worry. Doubt. Anxiety. Fear.

Have you noticed that in every great hero story there’s courage? And in that courage, there is no victim thinking?

Heroes aren’t victims. They don’t see themselves as victims. Instead, they accept what’s happening and put their energy toward figuring out their best course of action. They’re always pursuing their ideal outcome.

Are you up for a fun challenge? Come on, go with it.

Think about a favorite hero movie. It can any that you really love. I’ll only put one restriction on this exercise. Make it a person. You don’t have to, but if you do it’ll be more powerful to help you I think. For instance, you could see Arnold’s character in the original Terminator as a hero. But he’s not human so there’s a bit of a disconnect. I don’t want there to be any disconnect.

If you’re having trouble figuring out somebody, then just think back to the last movie you saw. Who was the hero in the movie? Pick them.

They weren’t perfect even though they were the hero. For good reason. Every hero has to endure the struggle to figure it out. They sometimes get it wrong. Sometimes things go south in spite of the best efforts of the hero. No matter though because in the end, the hero wins. So will you.

It’s an endurance test. Success is always an endurance test.

Think about this character, your movie hero. Every single day you’re writing your own screenplay! YOU are the hero character. The exercise is to write that story the way you want it to turn out. Curveballs are coming your way. It’s fine. Better yet, it’s necessary. How are we going to know the hero is the hero is unless we see the hero overcome the struggle? That’s exactly what makes them a hero. That’s what will make you a hero, too.

Hugging it out with the struggle isn’t an embrace saying, “Don’t leave me. Don’t ever leave me.” Rather, it’s a hug of appreciation. Hugging it out with struggle is recognition that without it, you can’t learn, understand and grow. It’s the force that brings out your best. Struggle is the competing force that fosters your growth.

You’ll still have fear. Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s the determination to do what you need to do to succeed in spite of fear. It’s your refusal to let fear, or anything else, defeat you. You versus Struggle.

Consider this. Struggle wants you to wilt. Struggle is banking on your feeling sorry for yourself. Struggle is also relying on you to join the masses who feel victimized by the universe and everybody in it. When you hug it out with Struggle you disarm Struggle. It’s a major step in defeating Struggle because that’s not how ordinary folks behave. But you’re no ordinary person. You’re a hero, writing your own success story!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Hugging Out Your Struggle – Grow Great Daily Brief #149 – February 4, 2019 Read More »

Knowledge Makes Things Simpler – Grow Great Daily Brief #148 – February 1, 2019

Knowledge Makes Things Simpler – Grow Great Daily Brief #148 – February 1, 2019

By now you’ve certainly figured out that leadership and entrepreneurial success rely on LEARNING. Achievement, accomplishment and success don’t happen immediately. They take time. Largely because we have to figure out what works. That means we spend time doing things that don’t work. No way to know until you try.

As we push forward to figure things out our learning increases. Knowledge piles up. And with it, we’re able to distill things down into a more clear picture. We see what won’t work, and we often see why. We find out what does work, and if we’re fortunate, we’re able to figure out why so we can replicate it. Otherwise, we just roll with it and embrace gratitude that good fortune smiled on us.

Knowledge can simply things because the more we know the more we’re able to distinguish between the essential and non-essential. Knowledge enables us to start eliminating things. It also gives us the power to become more efficient and effective.

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.” – Bruce Lee

Your flashlight dies. You open it up and pop out the batteries, then you slide in a pair of new ones. You put the flashlight back together, but it won’t turn on. You open it back up, pop out the batteries and turn them around. Presto! Now the flashlight works. The batteries have a positive side and a negative side. They’re simple. And easy. But knowing which way they go makes it simpler. Put them in wrong, the flashlight won’t work at all. Put them in correctly and it’s as bright as it ever was.

Failure. Success.

Sometimes the line between the two is thin. Just another big reason why you need to be committed to learning. It makes everything simpler. It works!

Let’s talk about some practical applications for you and your business.

Hack away at the cumbersome. 

Look inside your business for processes that are cumbersome. We’ve all got things that are more difficult than they need to be. We instinctively know it. But sometimes we ignore it. Maybe we don’t want to take the time to wrestle with it right now. Whatever the excuse, jettison it. Take the time to hack it apart. It’s time.

A common area where cumbersome exists is in an extra step. Or more than one extra step.

Speed it key. Extra steps slow things down. Slow is cumbersome. Speed is lean.

Identify and eliminate the cumbersome. All of it. Rally the troops to help you. They will happily engage in helping you because these bottlenecks impact their lives every single day.

One battle cry that I’m fond of – and one I’ve used for years inside companies I’ve run is to challenge the team to make the company…

highly maneuverable

Cumbersome is the enemy of highly maneuverable. You won’t get any resistance from the people most negatively impacted by cumbersome processes.

Don’t make customers pay the price for simpler.

Know what customers want and need. Knowledge makes things simpler. Unfortunately, sometimes companies get into protection mode and make things more difficult because they’re afraid of being taken advantage of. Why should customers pay the price for your inability to make things simpler, or for your paranoia that somebody may take unfair advantage of you.

Some fast food restaurants don’t make napkins readily available. They give you a certain number of them with your order. Need more? You’ll have to ask. There are none to be had out in the restaurant.

What do you wanna bet that some brainiac at corporate figured out how much money could be saved by eliminating the ready availability of napkins to the customers? That’s making the customer pay the price. It’s ridiculous.

Simpler should benefit the customer and the company. If it doesn’t benefit both, question it. Something is wrong.

Simpler creates happier employees.

Not because they lack intelligence, but because they have intelligence. Simpler makes more sense. It’s less insulting. And the speed makes people happier.

Somebody says, “Yeah, but we simplified a process and it eliminated a job. That person wasn’t happy.”

Make them happy. Find them another job. If they’re not worth keeping, it’s not the simplification that’s the problem. It’s that you allowed the complexity to disguise their ineptness. If the employee is valuable, then they can provide value in a new spot and you can likely make them happier in the process. Try it.

A chief frustration of employees is that nobody is paying close enough attention to the work they’re doing. And nobody knows what is broken. Where things are painful because the systems, workflows and processes are so broken.

This pursuit fixes that. Employees quickly see that leadership is actually devoted to doing things to help them do their work better.

You can’t do it if you don’t know about it though. So stop putting the batteries in backward. Learn which way the positive end should go and it’ll change everything by making things simpler. It’ll help things in your company work better, faster and more profitably.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Knowledge Makes Things Simpler – Grow Great Daily Brief #148 – February 1, 2019 Read More »

Compassion: You Can't Lead Without It – Grow Great Daily Brief #147 – January 31, 2019

Compassion: You Can’t Lead Without It – Grow Great Daily Brief #147 – January 31, 2019

The following screen-shot is taken from the online definition at the Merriam-Webster website.

Without empathy, you can’t get to compassion. And without understanding, you can’t get to empathy.

You can be the boss without any of these, but you can’t be a leader.

The formula is pretty straightforward.

Be open and curious to learn because that feeds everything. Without it, you’re destined to get stuck. Growth demands it. Guage how curious and open you are to learn by listening. If that’s a problem, start working to improve that. My best advice is to urge you to consider the high price you’re paying to be the smartest person on the planet. Your ignorance is costing you greater success. If I were sitting down with you I’d be encouraging you to treat yourself better. Take advantage of the collective knowledge of others. Try harder to understand where people are coming from, and why they think the way they do. It doesn’t mean you have to convert, but growth, improvement, and transformation are positive things that will only happen if you commit yourself to learn and understand.

Remember my formula: LUG.

Learning + Understanding = Growth

Since we’re talking about leadership today, it should be obvious by now that you can’t be a leader (at least not an effective one) without growth. Leaders are dedicated to improvement. First, their own. Then, the growth of those around them. Invest in yourself. Make time to learn, understand and grow. Don’t make excuses. Make time.

I choose COMPASSION rather than EMPATHY because of those ideas you heard expressed at the Merriam-Webster website. This isn’t my first rodeo. I understood those differences many years ago. Empathy gets all the press though. Business people can get queasy when people start using words like love and compassion. We shouldn’t though because they’re really important words. They’re important actions!

That’s right, actions. They’re not merely touchy-feely things. I tire of people slamming emotions. “Don’t be so emotional,” they say. And they’re not referring to an emotional meltdown or an outburst. They’re just talking about somebody who expresses feeling something! It’s ridiculous.

Would you rather people felt nothing?

We have terms for that. At best, such people would be described as being apathetic. That is, they’re just filled with apathy. They could care less. It’s an appropriate term I think. Because such behavior is pathetic. A-pathetic.

At worst, we’d describe them as psychopaths. Is that what you want? To be surrounded by a bunch of psychopaths or people filled with apathy. Boy, that sounds like a high performing team, huh?

No, instead companies spend insane amounts of money to measure employee engagement. They spend seemingly less money to do anything about it, which has always baffled me – but that’s likely because the money is in the assessments. “See, here’s how you’re doing.” And we love data. Nevermind that we’re clueless how to make it go up. But I digress.

Employee engagement is largely driven by leaders capable of demonstrating compassion. It means employees don’t feel apathy. They’re not psychopaths. They’re emotionally, mentally and physically engaged in the work they’re doing. They feel something positive about who they are, and what they’re doing.

Compassion’s role is a top-down deal. It’s not bottom-up. That means YOU have to lead the way.

Don’t expect your team members to be engaged, or to exercise compassion with one another (or the customer) if you don’t exercise it first with them. Your organization may experience pockets of it, but it won’t be widespread. And it certainly won’t become the culture of your place. Your organization needs leadership. They need YOU. YOU need to learn, understand and grow your compassion.

It’ll change everything in your world for the better. I guarantee it.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

P.S. Would you consider making an investment in yourself to drastically ramp up your learning, understanding and growth? Then check out ThePeerAdvantage.com. It’s an exclusive peer advantage group designed for just 7 U.S. based small business owners. If you own and operate a company doing $1 to $100 million dollars, then I hope you’ll check it out. We’ll meet twice a month online, using a video conferencing platform – so it’ll be super convenient. Our purpose is singular – GROWTH. We want to grow our businesses, our leadership and our lives. We’ll help each other improve our learning by sharing our experiences, seeing things from various perspectives so we eliminate as many blindspots as possible and we’ll caringly push each other to achieve more than we ever could all alone. Please take a few minutes and check it out, or better yet, just make a jump to complete a short survey so you and I can get on the phone to talk more about it. Go to BulaNetwork.com/apply. You’re not obligated for anything more than a phone conversation with me so we can chat about your business and so I can answer any questions you may have. Trust me, there will be no sales pitch. You’ll either see the high value of this or you won’t. My goal is to simply expose you to the opportunity. You hear me say it constantly, because it’s true: “You’ll figure it out for yourself.”

Compassion: You Can’t Lead Without It – Grow Great Daily Brief #147 – January 31, 2019 Read More »

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