Leadership Resilience

Leadership Resilience

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Our show today began with seeing this quote after the NBA championship series was won by the Denver Nuggets.

Jokic quote

This quote provoked us to think about the power of resilience in personal, professional and leadership growth. 

If you want to be successful…you need to be bad, then you need to be good. Then when you’re good, you need to fail. And then when you fail, you’re going to figure it out.

Our podcast is squarely aimed at helping people in city government leadership figure it out. It’s a personal journey that each of us must make, but that doesn’t mean we must go it alone. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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The High Value Of Saying It Out Loud

The High Value Of Saying It Out Loud

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“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”   

– Albert Einstein

I heard Herminia Ibarra, a Yale-educated Ph.D. in organizational behavior, talk about the value of saying it out loud. Or saying it to somebody who you’re not that close to. She meant that by having to explain it to somebody who doesn’t know you so well, or by having to say it out loud so it sounds like it makes sense to you – then you can better figure out your story.

I sat up straight and thought to myself (I may have even uttered it aloud), “YES!”

You see. I talk to myself. Often. If not daily, almost daily. I’ve done it all my life and this is exactly why.

To figure things out. 

I know firsthand the power of saying things out loud. After all, I was doing long before podcasting was invented. In the late 90s, I began recording some thoughts under the banner, Leaning Toward Wisdom, largely as an effort to figure things out aloud. I talked into a microphone, recorded it, and uploaded it to the Internet. 

Now that I’ve been doing it for a few decades I can affirm the value of saying things out loud. It can help you clarify things while helping those who may hear you say it out loud better understand. And if they fail to understand, it can provide us with opportunities to say it better – more clearly. After all, understanding is the goal. 

We want to better understand and we want others to better understand, too. It sure beats misunderstanding. But if you’re a subscriber to our show you already know the final leadership recipe ingredient is compassion, which can only result when we understand. Otherwise, judgment reigns supreme. And it’s most often critical judgment.

Writing To Figure Things Out

I am a lifelong letter writer. Today, it’s such an old-school way to go, but I still do it on special occasions. Like to my wife on her birthday or our anniversary. When we started dating we were both 18. We lived hours away from each other, working and going to college. We wrote letters every day. I’ve long maintained that all that writing helped us figure ourselves out – individually and together. There’s value in pouring out your heart, reviewing what’s happening in your life and all the other things we did trying to convey our thoughts with each other. And putting it on paper (literally) helped us distill it all. We were figuring it out. 

For me, and I’ve since learned – for others, writing and thinking are connected. Saying it out loud – writing it – helps us think. I’ve written for as long as I can remember so I confess I have a positive bias for the activity. But in adulthood I learned how common is it for people who are attempting to figure something out write. People may erroneously think that we write to convey that we have it already figured out. But there seems to be some truth that it doesn’t quite work that way. Rather, more often than not people write while thinking. We write while we’re figuring it out. Saying it out loud – or on paper or a screen – helps us think about it more deeply. Hopefully, more clearly. 

So I began to think about the difference in how we write. 

There’s writing for reading and there’s writing for speaking. They may be the same. Maybe not.

For example, we commonly use contractions like I’m, we’ve, and don’t when we speak. But we likely write out “I am,” or “we have,” or “do not.” They mean the same thing, but they sound differently. Then there are times when we write it, but when we read it…even we don’t understand what we wrote.

We can write entire paragraphs or pages thinking we’re making complete sense, but when we go back and read what we’ve written discover we’ve left out a verb here, used the wrong tense there and written in passive voice all over the place. Not until we say it out loud do we realize the brilliance we thought we were writing is jibberish. 

Writing is great. Saying it out loud is even better because we know if we’re making sense or not. Then the editing can continue while we refine our thoughts – and our ability to accurately convey our thoughts. 

This is all about figuring it out. Our leadership journey can be summed up in that activity. We’re not all on the same path, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from one another and remain committed to our own growth. Improvement is the goal. Finding a way forward to our better self. 

I’m often asked how I formed my own notions of leadership. It’s a complex thing I suppose because each of us are a distillation of who we innately are coupled with all the experiences we have with a major sprinkling of how we see the world – and our place in it. Then pile on top of that our natural abilities and interests. That’s why leadership isn’t a precise science where one-size-fits-all. 

However, our leadership recipe is in play because since I was 27 I figured out these ingredients were vital to all the effective leadership I experienced, including my own. No matter the style or personality, these five ingredients — humility, curiosity, knowledge, understanding and compassion – were always present in some measure. I spent my professional leadership life testing them. Putting pressure on each of them. Proving them. They never failed.

And they were all adaptable to the way people rolled. Personalities didn’t matter. Backgrounds either. Or communication styles. To each her own. 

It was through writing (and thinking) and saying it out loud that I was able to discover that leadership is very unique for each of us. That’s why it’s urgent for each of us to get on the journey as quickly as possible so we can learn how to leverage our uniqueness to grow great – and help others grow, too.

If We Can Serve Others…Shouldn’t We?

Yes. We should.

And serving others often means we need to say things out loud directly to them. It’s how we express our love for our family. It’s how we express our sorrow to those who grieve. It’s how we encourage those who may be struggling. It’s how we correct those who may not know they did something wrong. It’s how we elevate performance – when we express it and when we allows others to express it to us. 

If a tree falls in the forest we can wonder if it makes a sound unless somebody is present to hear it. But a more practical thought is if we’re able to help somebody how can we do that if we’re not willing to say it out loud to them? 

Could you have learned anything from a school teacher who didn’t speak to you? 

Could you have improved and learned from your first (or any other) boss if they had never said anything to you?

Here’s my challenge to you – prove me wrong…

Try to improve without thinking about – writing and saying out loud – how YOU can improve yourself.

Try to help others improve without communicating, as directly as possible, with those you’re trying to help grow. 

Leadership is still about:

• Influence
• Focusing on others (after we focus on our own improvement — which never stops, btw)
• Doing for others what they’re unable to do for themselves

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Check out the Hosts page for our profiles.
Connect With Lisa On Linkedin •  Connect With Randy On Linkedin

We encourage you to contact us. Feedback, suggestions, criticisms, insights, and experiences are welcomed. Thank you for watching and listening!

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The Value Of Being Uncomfortable

The Value Of Being Uncomfortable

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If I hear the trite phrase, “comfort zone,” my eyes roll up into the back of my head. But my eyes do that when I hear any number of trite phrases. Besides, I rather enjoy being comfortable. Like now that summer has arrived, here in Texas, it means you can go outside and sweat like crazy or get inside where the comfort of air conditioning exists. I enjoy air conditioning. And there’s the rub when it comes to professional (and personal) growth. We don’t naturally enjoy being uncomfortable. 

The reality is, before we were comfortable we were uncomfortable because that’s part of learning. Growth. 

A listener enquired…

I get anxious whenever I’m pushed out of my comfort zone. What do you do to get more comfortable being uncomfortable?

Let’s see if we can’t flip this on its head where it belongs.

Very few of us are comfortable being uncomfortable. But I know people – some whom I’m very close to – who suffer anxiety that I don’t. I have a degree of understanding how crippling anxiety can be. First, I’d admonish people whose lives are severely impacted by anxiety to seek professionals capable of helping. I’m not professional trained, or properly equipped to address that level of anxiety. But since the listener doesn’t provide any more details let’s assume the anxiety is the level that many of us feel – maybe slightly higher. 

For starters, I’d encourage all of us who are on the growth path in our leadership journey to see our discomfort as the possible path forward. Without it, we’re stagnant. If we remain comfortable day after day, year after year, then it’s certain we’re not growing. Discomfort can be a sign that we’re growing…provided the source of our discomfort is because we’re pushing ourselves to learn new things, to develop new skills, to elevate our performance and all the many nuanced things required of growing into great leaders. 

Discomfort isn’t necessarily misery. Every great leader I know though has experienced moments of misery, but each would tell you – just as I’d confess about my own leadership journey – those moments feel necessary! 

Have you ever had to endure physical therapy? Maybe after a surgery or injury? It’s not fun. Sometimes it’s downright miserable, but we do it because we know it’s the way forward to feeling better, getting stronger and overcoming whatever ails us. 

The paradigm shift of seeing the high value in our anxiety – that’s where it has to begin. Otherwise, we’ll resist any change. Any challenge to our status quo. 

Every thought, belief, action and behavior that you currently enjoy in your comfort zone began with being uncomfortable. You’ve forgotten it though. We all have. That’s largely because we forget the pain once we enjoy the mastery. But without the pain there is no mastery. 

Learning to walk, speak, read, do math – or anything else – had lots of pain and failure. But once we could walk, we forgot about all those falls. Once we could speak we couldn’t remember being unable to. The same for reading, or math, or anything else. The resulting success overpowered everything else. The journey isn’t always the reward. Sometimes the destination is so worthwhile we forget about how hard the trip was. 

Everything is hard before it’s easy. Everything is slow before it’s fast. 

Know that your anxiety isn’t a permanent condition. If so, you should absolutely seek out a professional to help you. Confidence demands a degree of comfort knowing “I’ve got this.” But part of building that confidence is the knowledge that you can handle – you even desire – to be tested, challenged and pushed to see how much better you can be. By answering those tests, large or small, our confidence can grow. Confidence is nothing more than belief in ourselves – belief in our competence. The only way we can prove our competence is to test it. I can tell you how great I am at something, but unless I can show you, then there’s no way to prove it. And if I can’t prove it, then I can’t truly be confident in it. Boasting about it isn’t confidence. Doing it – proving it – is. 

Don’t make comfort your sole way of life. Don’t make anxiety your sole way either. We need a mix of both. Moments where we’re honing our skills after a period of being challenged and tested. Then we need to enter a new zone of discomfort where we’re upping our game all over again. 

Life – our leadership growth journey – is comprised of periods of learning something new, entering an area of discomfort – followed by a plateau where we’re increasing our comfort with whatever we’ve learned. Then we repeat that process if we’re dedicated to our growth. 

It’s among the many reasons why so few become great leaders. It requires a dedication to hard work, embracing learning new skills and constant self-reflection. It also requires such high humility you’re open to others who can serve you. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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We encourage you to contact us. Feedback, suggestions, criticisms, insights, and experiences are welcomed. Thank you for watching and listening!

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What Can I Do If Leadership Doesn't Seem Interested?

What Can I Do If Leadership Doesn’t Seem Interested?

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In recent weeks Lisa and I have been reminded of how rare leadership development is in organizations. While speaking at a recent conference Lisa, Lauren Safranek (Director of Human Resources, City of Frisco, Texas) and I asked the audience about formal coaching and mentoring. Only a few attendees admitted they had any experience with either development tool. In fact, we have all found that it’s rare for organizations to have any formal program aimed at leadership development other then perhaps sending people to a brief 2-day training session — or something of that sort. 

One of the most frequently asked questions I’m asked is, “What can I do if my organization has no formal leadership development program?” Today, Lisa and I hope to help you figure out your answer to that question.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Check out the Hosts page for our profiles.
Connect With Lisa On Linkedin •  Connect With Randy On Linkedin

We encourage you to contact us. Feedback, suggestions, criticisms, insights, and experiences are welcomed. Thank you for watching and listening!

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Talent Is Overrated

Talent Is Overrated

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Talent is often seen as the top priority when hiring others and when we examine our own lives. But is talent THE determining factor in success and high performance? Or are there other characteristics that may matter more?

Talent is merely an entry point. Without it, we don’t get to join the team and play. But it in no way guarantees that we’ll become an A player. 

What about drive, the willingness to push ourselves, to endure discomfort, to overcome adversity, to owning our own outcomes, to avoid excuse-making, the commitment to figure it out (whatever IT may be)? What about our willingness to do what must be done so we can perform at the highest level? 

Listen in as Lisa and I discuss what we’ve seen out here in the real world of high performance teams, organizations and individuals.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Don't Just Find A Job. Find A Purpose.

Don’t Just Find A Job. Find A Purpose.

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Lisa texted me this quote, which prompted today’s show.

purpose quote

Sir Ken Robinson wrote a book a few years ago entitled, The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything. He defined “the element” as the intersection where our natural aptitude and what we love meet. 

 

 

This is one of – if not THE best speech you’ll hear. The man was brilliant. I’m sad he’s gone. 

Today’s show isn’t about simply finding what you love the most, but it’s about investing in your own growth and improvement. It’s about accepting responsibility for your own life – and career. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Check out the Hosts page for our profiles.
Connect With Lisa On Linkedin •  Connect With Randy On Linkedin

We encourage you to contact us. Feedback, suggestions, criticisms, insights, and experiences are welcomed. Thank you for watching and listening!

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