December 2018

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Five – Grow Great Daily Brief #128 – December 21, 2018

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Five – Grow Great Daily Brief #128 – December 21, 2018

It’s here. The last day of the year for the GROW GREAT PODCAST. I hope you’ve found this 5-day journey a profitable way to end the year. I knew of no more powerful way to end the year.

You’re now in the Grand Ballroom of Abundance. You were outside with the masses who lamented all the bad things that happen to them. Pessimism and despair rule their lives. Until you entered the room, you didn’t know there was another way to live. You just supposed you were not among the anointed lucky people who achieve great things. You now know you were wrong.

One of the most important things you learned in this journey is that entrance into the room has NO prerequisites. You wrongly thought you needed permission, some personal invitation to enter. Mostly, you thought you needed to achieve something first, then you’d be allowed inside. Until you started to talking to people who all shared with you the same truth – high achievement happens only once you’re inside the Grand Ballroom of Abundance. It was a big epiphany for you…something you wish you’d known much earlier.

There’s no time to waste.

The Grand Ballroom of Abundance doesn’t care who you are or where you came from. Mostly because everybody inside came in from outside at some point. History is important because every citizen in the room has a context largely determined by their past, but they all realize life happens in the present and future.

Some walked into this room when they were young. Others were old. Some are highly educated. Others never made it past elementary school. There are engineers and scientists and salespeople and clerks. Men, women. People from wealthy families and people who don’t even know who their biological families are. The Grand Ballroom of Abundance respects everybody, discriminates against nobody inside. Nobody INSIDE.

There is only discrimination against people outside. Those folks who refuse to enter. The ones who want to beckon people inside to leave. The Ballroom has no tolerance for them because those people are the enemies of high growth and high achievement. The discrimination isn’t based on anything else.

Now it’s time to get busy. It’s urgent for you to start doing the work as soon as possible because there’s no time to waste. You’re on a new clock now. The past is the past. You’re thankful for what you learned in the past. You’re thankful for everything. You came to understand the Ballroom when you did, and you’re good with it. Now that you’re inside you realize there’s no time to waste wishing you’d found your way inside sooner. That won’t accomplish anything and you know it. Now it’s time to focus on the very reason you wanted to figure out how to get in here – to grow great!

It’s time to GROW GREAT.

The fun begins now. Creativity. Innovation. Improvement. These are now daily activities where you spend all your time. The room will help. It’s an environment that favors growth. The Grand Ballroom of Abundance fosters everything you’ve longed for. Growth and expansion happen because you’re now where you belong AND you’re committed to the work. Both are necessary. For the first time in your life, you have both properly aligned.

The voices and the pull of the outside world is never going to leave you alone. Never.

The abundance they seek is company. They want more people willing to chime in and be negative. Daily you have to make the choice to remain devoted to the abundance of high growth. More and more you have to lower the volume of the distracting voices. Eliminate the ones you can. Suppress the rest. Then turn up the volume of the solid citizens in the room, the ones who help you, encourage you and support your visions.

The Power Of Peers

Peer pressure is a good thing. You’re feeling it. The collective inside the room wants you to stay here, and achieve what you most desire. They don’t want you to fail. They know that doesn’t help you, or anybody else. Or the room. Everybody benefits when you do well. When you’re achieving the things you’re capable of, the room expands. Opportunities do, too. It’s just how this ecosystem works. You all know it.

There’s now a positive pressure to stay here inside this Grand Ballroom of Abundance. And you don’t want to leave. You don’t want to disappoint yourself. Or the collective in the room. It’s a feeling you’ve never had before and you don’t ever want to lose it.

People care. They’re willing to help. They won’t put up with your bull or excuses because they know how destructive that is to the Abundance. It’s not because they’re picking on you. It’s because they care about high growth and achievement. The collective is devoted – individually and together – to eliminating the destructive forces of pessimism and excuse-making. Here in this room challenges are meant to be overcome if possible. Endured if not. Opportunities are meant to be seized. And created. You love this way of life and you never want to go back now that you’ve tasted it.

The Key To Staying In The Room Is OTHERS

I owe you one final secret. A secret the most solid citizens in the room know. It’s not really a secret, but too many people fail to see it for the power it really is.

People. The power is in people. Your associations’ matter. Now it’s time to make sure you’re very intentional and purposeful about the people who surround you. Nothing will elevate your growth and protect you from leaving this room more. Nothing.

A big driver for your own high growth and achievement is your ability to improve the people around you. Remember, nobody in the room discriminates against others inside the room, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have preferences. They all have preferences. The super achievers in the room seek out other super achievers, or those they think are working hard to become super achievers.

The room isn’t cliquish, but it can seem like it. Only because birds of a feather are flocking together. The door you walked through to get inside this room is gone, but now inside the room, there may seem to be some invisible walls. You’re going to have to resist your old way of thinking, feeling like you need permission to join this group or that group. You don’t need permission. You simply need to make up your mind you want to join the group, but – and it’s a big but – you must be committed to the work necessary to join some particular group inside the room. Some groups are super achievers and they’ll hold you to an even higher standard. But that’s great. I encourage you to seek such peer pressure.

Well, that about does it. 2018 is a wrap here at the GROW GREAT PODCAST. Lord willing 2019 is going to be our greatest year ever. There are some exciting things happening around here. Leo Bottary and I have some big plans to deliver superior results to companies who want to really move the needle in building high growth cultures and employee engagement. The Peer Advantage by Bula Network is my effort to build just 2 groups of seven entrepreneurs in each group – peer advantage groups who will do for each other everything I’ve described today. Lord willing, we’ll put in the work, grow and achieve big results.

Permit me to end with one favor. Let me know how it’s going for you. I want to hear from you. I’m not fishing for compliments, but if the GROW GREAT PODCAST has provided value, let me know how. More importantly, let me know how I can grow greater. How can this podcast provide even more value? Use the contact page and let me know. I’d like to hear from many of you. I’ll take the holiday break to listen and refine things so 2019 will be even better.

Thank you for giving me your time and attention. You’re very important.

Be well. Do good. Grow great! And have a safe, happy holiday season. Lord willing, I’ll talk to you next year as we get another year of Grow Great underway.

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Five – Grow Great Daily Brief #128 – December 21, 2018 Read More »

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Four – Grow Great Daily Brief #127 – December 20, 2018

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Four – Grow Great Daily Brief #127 – December 20, 2018

You’re inside the grand ballroom of abundance, right? You should have entered yesterday, but if you’re still outside, then you need to go back to day 1, 2 and 3. You think you need courage, but you really don’t. Courage is required when fear is present. Well, I suppose there is fear present. That’s why you’re not going inside. But you’re not fearing anything real. You’re only fearful of the boogie man that doesn’t exist. Seems ridiculous that you were once young and naive and thought the boogie man was in your closet or under your bed, right? But you once thought so. This boogie man is no more real than that one.

As much as I wish I could tell you that you’re out of the woods once you enter this grand ballroom of abundance, you’re not. You’re still vulnerable to your old way of thinking even once inside. Like any new environment, it takes a while to get acclimated. So it’s important that you protect yourself from the pull of the old crowd. It’s only natural because you spent so much time outside with the herd – the masses of people too afraid to enter the grand ballroom. You’ll need some time to get adjusted and that’s what we want to focus on today.

Making the decision to leave the masses outside is uncomfortable. Being inside the grand ballroom of abundance is uncomfortable, at first. But it’s only natural. And if you’ll resist the urge to retreat, the reward that awaits is insanely high. It’s beyond anything you’ve ever achieved before. That’s the fear you’re feeling. Fearing the unknown. I want to focus you on what that unknown is really all about though. It’s all about growth, improvement, transformation. It’s unknown GOOD. No, it’s unknown GREATNESS. That crowd outside wants you to be afraid of failing, but that’s all happening outside where they are – where you just came from. They just don’t see it accurately.

When you walk out of a dark room into a room filled with light, your eyes need a moment to adjust. Same thing here. You’ve left the throngs devoted to blaming anything and anybody for failure. You’re now in the bright, optimistic company of high achievers. It’s gonna take a moment to get adjusted. It’s perfectly fine. Don’t panic. And whatever you do, stay away from the door back outside. Get as far from those voices urging you to “Come back!” They’ve got enough company. They don’t need you. Trust me, they’ll never be lonely without you.

Commit To The Fight

I’m not going to lie to you. It’s a fight to enter the grand ballroom and it’s a fight to stay there when you first enter. Totally worthwhile, but still a fight.

Slap those noise canceling headphones on. Shut out all the noise from the people you’ve been surrounded by. They’re not bad people, but they don’t believe in what you’re now seeing. The abundance inside this new space is foreign to them, just like it was for you before you walked in. You now know something they don’t. They’ll work very hard to get you back into the land of ignorance. Refuse.

Going back to them won’t help them. And if you’re ever going to help them you must remain solidly inside the room. It’s the only way you’ll ever influence the people you care about to join you. Only the people who have been inside and become permanent citizens can help those outside come inside. That’s now your goal. To remain firmly inside and fight through the discomfort until being here feels natural.

Everything is hard until it’s easy.

This is my all-time favorite quote, but I have no idea who first said it or wrote it. I wish I had.

It’s completely true. Think back through everything you’ve ever learned. From the alphabet to basic math to geography to public speaking or riding a bike or anything else. That quote applies to everything. And it applies to you being comfortable in being in this new grand ballroom of abundance!

At first, you’ll feel like you belong here. You’ll feel like everybody else does, but not you. You’re wrong. Truth is, everybody deserves to be in that room if they believe they do. That’s the only requirement. All those people outside belong in the room, but they’re not inside because they don’t think they belong. So they don’t.

You’ve had the cart before the horse all this time. 

You wrongly believed that only people who had achieved things belonged in this room. You falsely assumed that the prerequisite for going into the room was restricted to people who had actually done something notable. Now that you’re inside people are telling you time and time again that they didn’t achieve big things until they were first inside this grand ballroom of abundance. The more you hear their stories, the stupider you feel for staying outside so long. That’s good. Embrace it. This is one time when feeling stupid will fuel your determination to belong. To get increasingly more comfortable being inside.

First, you enter the room. Then you achieve big things. Not the other way around.

As you walk around the room and listen to everybody share their experiences you find they’re much like you. They weren’t always in this room. None of them achieved much outside this room. And nobody is judging you or anybody else. They all know how open the secret really is. That anybody can join the party. That newcomers often feel like they don’t belong because the adjustment period is required for everybody. Some take longer than others. Some struggle to shut out the noise of their past surroundings. And the people who beckon them to come back.

But you notice that nobody wants you to leave. They’re all trying to help you figure out that you belong because they know your high achievements will just make the ballroom grow even bigger, making it capable of accommodating more and more people. It’s a completely different way of thinking. And it dawns on you that I’m right. That high growth is a way of thinking.

All kinds of things will enter your head to make you think you don’t belong here. Thoughts of not deserving it. Questions of how you’ll ever belong. It’s very important that you do nothing except look around and bask in the glow of knowing how welcomed you are. Give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable while you adjust, but refuse to leave. There’s no going back…not if you want to grow.

Jack Nicholas talked about owning your own outcomes. Owning your own game. He talks of owning each shot you make, or joining the masses who just swing, then look up to see it went. It’s a lesson of responsibility and ownership.

Today is the day to forget about feeling like an imposter because you’re not. This is your life. You alone own your life. You alone can determine where you’re going to live your life. Outside with those masses who just swing, then look up to see where it went. Or inside this grand ballroom where people are behaving with greater intent and purpose. Where everybody is owning their own game and urging you to do the same. It’s time to let your eyes get adjusted to the new, brighter lights of high achievement.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Four – Grow Great Daily Brief #127 – December 20, 2018 Read More »

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Three – Grow Great Daily Brief #126 – December 19, 2018

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Three – Grow Great Daily Brief #126 – December 19, 2018

Expanding your business. It’s the point. The goal. And it can happen. If you’ve put in the work the last two days, then you’re beginning to more fully understand that YOU are the constraint. Your business growth is largely limited by one roadblock. YOU.

Today, I hope you’ll start seeing the crack in the door to this cavernous room you’ve avoided entering for too long. It’s the grand ballroom with ceilings so high you can barely see and walls so far apart you begin to wonder how many people could comfortably fit into this room. The door is now unlocked and slightly open. Today, we’re going to walk right on in. And when we do we’re going to see there’s quite a crowd in there. With people coming into the room all the time, but the room never seems to fill up. It’s as though as people enter the room the dimensions of the room expand. It’s subtle, but it’s happening.

There is no limit to the abundance. 

The room always expands to accommodate the people brave enough to enter. You no longer think the room is off limits to the likes of you and your business. Other than first noticing how many people this room can accommodate, you also notice just how crowded the space is outside the room, where the average people live and work. All these people are uttering the same refrain. They’re all complaining to each other how limited the market is, how bad things are likely to get in the future, how they’re losing business to their competitors. World-class excuse makers exist outside the ballroom of abundance. From the weather to capital, to not being able to find good people – this crowd has figured out every conceivable reason for their failure or lack of BIG success.

Inside the room. Or outside the room.

Both places have limitless space. There’s an abundance in both places. Up to now you may have only thought there was abundance in one of them, the room of limited possibility. Here’s the decision you now must make…

Do you want the abundance of opportunity, possibilities, and success? Or…

Do you want the abundance of company – others who refuse to believe they can achieve more?

Either way, you’re going to achieve abundance!

You get to choose. Stay outside with the ENORMOUS crowd who muddle in mediocrity. Average is defined as typical or common. Boy, isn’t that an exciting goal? That’ll surely rally the troops. “Hey kids! Let’s work hard today to be typical.” There’s a reason the biggest abundance is found smack dab in the middle – average!

Come into the grand ballroom of abundance and join the people committed to a high growth way of thinking.

You need to commit to going into the ballroom. Once you change your mind and begin to question how high you can go – how much you can grow as a person, as a business owner, and as a leader – you’ll become unfit to stay in the herd outside. Their complaining, whining and excuse-making will drive you mad. There’s only one way to get away from them. Go where they’re unwilling to go. Inside.

Turn the knob, open the door and go in. 

Average people think there’s more to it. They’re convinced that the folks inside got some special invitation or ticket. I don’t know who they think doles those out, but I guess they think there’s a success fairy or genie.

Fact is, anybody can walk up to the door, turn the knob and just walk right in. It just takes the courage to make up your mind to ditch average.

Once you’re inside – you are inside already, right? – then you have to keep working your way around the room because not every section of the grand ballroom is equal. There just aren’t any walls or doors. Now, it’s even easier to move about, but quite a few folks stand around, stationary. It’s why these occupants experience wide ranges of success. Those who’ve made up their minds they’re never going to stop growing…they’re like sharks. They keep moving. Growing. Improving. Never staying put for fear they’ll get stuck. They move freely about the room from one level of achievement to new ones. But not everybody in the room thinks they can go join another group by going into a different section of the room. They think the room is cliquish.

Your movement is limited only by your mind. Nothing else.

The walls, doors and other imaged barriers exist only in your head, along with all the other demons. Today, I want you to make up your mind to walk into that grand ballroom of abundance. Once you’re inside you’ll figure out the next move. Remember, how is never the question. Who you want to join is always the question.

Today is a pivotal day. Go back and listen to day 1 and 2 again if you must. It’s important that you get yourself to the point where you make the decision to join the group – and enter the space where high growth can happen. Until you do that, you’ll remain stuck in the land of average. And the name of this podcast isn’t Be Mediocre. Or Be Average.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Three – Grow Great Daily Brief #126 – December 19, 2018 Read More »

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Two

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Two – Grow Great Daily Brief #125 – December 18, 2018

Strategies. Tactics. People are drawn to find out specific answers. While we don’t want people telling us what to do, we sometimes crave it secretly wishing people would just tell us what to do. We crave it because we’re smart. Easy is way better than hard. It’s hard to figure it out for ourselves. Better, but harder!

High growth people aren’t superhuman. They’re only extraordinary because they’ve learned how to think differently than most. They have deeply held self-confidence. Some are extroverts who display their self-confidence with a bravado easily seen. Others of us are quiet introverts who hold it without hardly ever showing it outwardly. You have to roll the way YOU roll. Don’t try to be something or somebody you’re not. Be confident in your ability to figure it out and accept that it’s going to look like whatever it looks like because YOU are YOU. Nobody else.

High growth people don’t pay much attention to strategies or tactics. They know that the power of figuring it out is the ability to be open to whatever may be required to endure or overcome any challenge. And it’s also the ability to figure out the best way to seize an opportunity. Or create one.

When I was in high school drag racing was a thing. I’m not advocating it, but it happened. A holdover I suppose from the 60’s hot rod era. Well, I had a buddy who had a fast car. He worked on it constantly. It was fast, but he knew that any kid with a bit of mechanical knowledge and a fat wallet could buy parts to make a car go faster. The tools were widely available. Any rich kid could get a fast car, but that didn’t mean they could drive it. Paying for parts (buying tools) just takes money. Knowing how to drive takes skill. But then there’s a way of thinking about it all, which is where my friend figured out how to shine. He didn’t bother trying to have the fastest car in a quarter mile drag race. Instead, he changed the game. He’d challenge guys to a race from a 60mph “punch.” He completely changed the game by taking on all covers to a race where both cars would drive side by side at 60mph, then punch the accelerator to see who would outrun the other. His car had insane top end speed. Nobody could beat him from a 60mph punch.

Tools are for fools. 

High growth thinking requires you to stop focusing on what’s available to everybody. Yes, we all need tools, tactics, and strategies, but it’s the wise (often creative) use of them where the real value is. And that’s not in the tools themselves but in our mind. Our way of thinking.

Barnes and Noble didn’t create Amazon. They had all the tools. They knew the industry backward and forward. But they lacked the high growth way of thinking that Jeff Bezos had. And still has.

Yellow Cab didn’t create Uber. They had all the tools, including the cars and the drivers. They knew the taxi industry. But they lacked the high growth way of thinking necessary to turn the whole industry upside down.

Hilton or Marriott didn’t create Airbnb. They had all the locations, staff and resources. They knew the hospitality industry. They even had the infrastructure for room reservations. But they lacked the high growth way of thinking that gave us Airbnb.

It’s not about thinking the opposite of an industry’s conventional wisdom. It’s about adding onto your self-confidence a deep belief that you can achieve more. It’s a relentless unwillingness to accept the status quo. It’s the constant belief that things can always be made better and the devotion to figuring out how.

It starts with “why not” and ends in answering “how.” 

High growth way of thinking doesn’t get bogged down in figuring out how. Instead, it begins with, “Why not?”  More specifically, high growth people ask the question, “Can we ___________?” But they’re not really asking if the team can do it, instead, they’re extending a challenge, “Why not?”

It’s day two of our 5 days to a high growth way of thinking. Today, challenge yourself to think about the things you don’t think can be improved. Take it on. Really take it on. No matter what it is.

Everything can be improved. You know that’s true. Don’t shy away from it because you fear it’s too hard. Don’t talk yourself out of it. Instead, lean into it. Accept the challenge that high achievers will find a way. Don’t you want to join their ranks? Then you’re going to have to question all the current measurements of success.

Why can’t they be improved? What’s stopping you?

Why not improve them? Why not see how much better things can be? Why not you and your company?

Great leaders see the future first. It’s your job to see greater success before it happens, or before anybody else can see it. Your company needs you to give them the vision and it’s your job to provide it.

So think bigger. Rules, tools and all the rest don’t matter to the person devoted to high growth thinking. Vision is what matters. What you see as possible!

Your biggest threat will be to focus on how you can get it done. Resist. Nobody knows how at this stage. And that’s the secret. Most people – average people – get focused on how. And it stumps them because they don’t know how. They fixate on what they don’t yet know. It stalls them. Bogs them down. Gets them stuck. Many stay stuck.

High growth thinking builds on self-confidence by questioning how much better – how much bigger – can things be. And sees what’s possible where others see the impossible. It seems impossible because average folks are wondering HOW. Extraordinary folks are thinking, “Who cares how? We’ll figure it out.”

And they do.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day Two – Grow Great Daily Brief #125 – December 18, 2018 Read More »

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day One – Grow Great Daily Brief #124 – December 17, 2018

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day One – Grow Great Daily Brief #124 – December 17, 2018

Let’s start this final week of the Grow Great podcast – well, the final week for 2018 – by talking about a way of thinking. Mindset, attitude, mentality. Call it whatever you’d prefer, but I’m calling it exactly what it is – a way of thinking. Depending on the topic, we all have a way of thinking about that topic. It’s a combination of our personality, how we’re hardwired, coupled with how life experiences have shaped our outlook. You think the way you think for a reason. It may not be a good or great reason, but it’s not just some random thing.

We’re going to take 5 days to improve our way of thinking. To establish a high growth way of thinking.

Today is Monday, Day 1. The objective today is to come to grips with the truth that no matter how terrific we feel about our current thinking, we can grow it. Improve it. Most of us have vast room for improvement.

Let’s begin by being clear about the terminology. A high growth way of thinking isn’t merely self-confidence. Self-confidence is part of a high growth way of thinking, but it’s not the total of what it is.

Self-confidence can be difficult to truly understand. Some confuse it with bravado. Others think it’s this irrational “I can do it” no matter how strong the evidence may be that it’s impossible. One definition of self-confidence that resonates with how I view it is the belief that you are sufficiently equipped to handle whatever happens. I may not have all the tools or knowledge to handle every single thing, but I can have a quiet resolve that whatever happens to me, I’ll find a way to figure it out. Without that, we’ll be unable to develop a high growth way of thinking.

This isn’t about you having all the answers. None of us do. Mostly, we’re all going through life working hard to find our own way. To figure things out so we can decide the best course of action.

Life can punch us in the gut with something we’ve never seen before, something we didn’t see coming. At that moment, we can crumble and wilt. Or we can suffer the blow, endure some pain and grief (or any other emotions as we process the event), and ultimately resolve that we’re going to find a way through this problem.

Self-confidence isn’t a rosy outlook. It’s more significant than that. Deeper.

Life – professional or personal – will beat you down. For some, it doesn’t take very much. For others, it’s impossible. They can’t be defeated. What’s the difference? Each person sees themselves in different ways. They think differently.

Here we are on day 1 of our 5 days to a high growth way of thinking and already we can see it’s going to start deep inside us. If you were tempted to focus on what’s happening in your life – on the external circumstances of your life – stop it. Got nothing to do with it. And that’s a truth that is going to be harder for some than others.

Bad things happen to all of us. 

Have you heard people say that events and circumstances are neutral, that they’re neither good or bad? They’re wrong. There are plenty of bad events that happen. Horrible, vile things can happen. To suppose that in our mind we ascribe meaning to these things is not just ridiculous, but dangerous. There is evil in the world. I’m not going to ignore that or hide from it. Does it mean I have to participate in it, or embrace it, or relish it? Of course not. Does it mean it can’t happen to me if I don’t acknowledge it? No. It means I can choose to be deluded I guess. Right is right. Wrong is wrong.

Self-confidence includes the ability to see the bad for what it is, bad. It’s the resolve to not give in to it. To not allow it to have greater sway in your life than it should.

A knock awakens the house. It’s 3 am. It’s a loud banging knock, clearly intended to wake the house. At the door stand two detectives in cheap suits. After they identify themselves they inquire who you are. You confirm your identity. They’re sad to tell you that there’s been an accident. Somebody in your family has been killed. Don’t tell me that’s a neutral event.

Your knees buckle. Literally. You fall to the floor, crushed at the news. Minutes earlier you were sound asleep, perhaps enjoying a pleasant dream. Your whole world is rocked.

Similar things can happen to us as business owners and CEOs. News hits us out of the blue and suddenly we’re breathless, nauseated at the dilemma.

Time passes. Minutes, hours, maybe days. Over that time something happens. We’re able to get past that initial shock. Everybody has experienced this. Time doesn’t solve it, but time enables us to build up the self-confidence necessary to believe we’ll figure out what to do.

Now you may better understand why I lean so heavily on the phrase, “You’ll figure it out.” I’m working hard to express confidence in your ability to do that. Come on. You own the business. You’re leading the business. You’ve proven able to get this far. Why shouldn’t I think you can go further? Why shouldn’t YOU think that?

Again, this isn’t about you having all the necessary answers. You’ve faced plenty of things for the first time, things that were beyond your experiences. What happened? You figured it out. Some things may have taken you longer than others. Some things may have been much more difficult, but you still figured it out. You got through it.

I want you to look at your past successes. Don’t fret about the failures. They’re there, too. We’re not ignoring them because they’ve taught us valuable lessons, but today let’s concentrate on the bad things – the challenging issues – that have occurred and how we endured them or overcame them. Yes, I said endured. Some things can’t be fixed, they just have to be successfully endured. That 3 am knock at the door? Nobody is going to overcome that. That outcome can’t be changed. It can successfully be dealt with though.

You’ve done this your entire life. Personally and professionally.

As a business owner, you’ve successfully navigated lots of dangerous waters. You’ve also sailed your share of tranquil seas where you could enjoy the sunshine and breeze. Today, dwell on those. Think of the specifics. Meditate on those successes. Dissect them if you’d like. I want you to hold them close today. Leverage them to crowd out any doubt you may have. The game is to ignore that little voice that says, “You won’t be able to figure THIS out.” Yes, you will. Because you always have.

It doesn’t mean your invincible or infallible. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll fail. But those are moments in time, temporary outcomes. Look at the final score. When you do you’ll realize that you have always found a way to figure it out – even if figuring it out meant getting past making the wrong decision initially. Battles are lost in winning wars. You’re a warrior with a winning past. That’ll translate into a winning future, too!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

5 Days To A High Growth Way Of Thinking: Day One – Grow Great Daily Brief #124 – December 17, 2018 Read More »

Naturally Occurring Peer Support – Grow Great Daily Brief #123 – December 14, 2018

Naturally Occurring Peer Support – Grow Great Daily Brief #123 – December 14, 2018

We talk quite a lot about being intentional and purposeful in who you surround yourself with, but today let’s fairly consider naturally occurring peer support. Professional (intentional and purposeful) peer advantage isn’t something everybody wants. And unless or until somebody wants to lean into the advantage of being surrounded by others who can help…they won’t take advantage of it. Or even accept that it could help.

A common refrain among some entrepreneurs is how they just let things happen organically. Chance encounters. Friends. Acquaintances. From the pool of people who come and go in our lives, some feel it’s a suitable pool from which organic peer support “just happens.” Every single person who has ever expressed that to me when asked, “Does that work well for you?” confesses, “No!”

For good reason. There’s no design behind it. No intention. No structure or framework. No growth purpose.

Just yesterday I encountered the phrase that serves as today’s title – “naturally occurring peer support.” It was in a Wired article titled, “Social Media Is Ruining Our Minds—It Also Might Save Them.” Researchers found that some online communities can foster genuinely nurturing environments for people suffering from mental health problems. They observed this “naturally occurring peer support” in YouTube comments, of all places.

Social media is full of trolls and ill-behaved people. Much of it innocuous, but some of it quite damaging. As a longtime member of the podcasting community and blogging community, I can tell you many people are not only distracted by trolls and haters, but some content creators can obsess about them. Engagement is what we crave, but sadly, bad behavior can ruin it. Me? I’ve never consistently allowed comments on my website. As much as I enjoy discussions, even lively ones where people disagree, I decided almost 20 years ago I wasn’t going to provide a forum for people to behave poorly. Besides, I don’t like the anonymity used by so many ill-behaving people. So I’ve been intentional to not allow it on my websites.

Sounds like I’m overly cynical, and I am…but I’m simultaneously optimistic about people. I truly think people – most people – would be good, and perhaps even better if they only knew how. I would hope that naturally occurring peer support is an indication of that. Human beings rally.

Every rally needs a leader.

Somebody in the community has a need. People come together to support that person or family. Somebody has to make it happen. Others may chime in to provide support for the leader, but these efforts don’t “just happen.”

Viral videos are often described as organic, or things that just hit. But if you reverse engineer them you’ll likely see lots of intentional efforts. No guarantees they’ll go viral, but strategies and tactics deployed to give them the best chance. Similar to community support for a cause, some hit bigger than others based largely on the intentional actions taken by people leading the parade. Even organic happenings have explanations.

I’m confident that each of us can better leverage the people who already surround us. Maybe these are naturally occurring peer support structures, but “naturally” presupposes they “just happen.” I’m not sure that’s true. Consider the YouTube comments that prove supportive of people struggling with mental health issues. Trolls and haters could lead the parade, fostering an increase in that behavior in the comments. But supporters, people with empathy and encouragement could take the lead and shut down the haters. Trolls could even become supportive as they see the shift in the comments. Most of us are attracted to join the community. Some of us are compelled to be contrarians, dead set on going against the flow. But if the crowd is vocal enough, courageous enough — they can shout down the haters and trolls.

Do things “just happen”?

Maybe, but perhaps I’m just too wired to believe we control and influence our lives. The opposing view just doesn’t appeal at all to me. That we’re victims of random chance or organic encounters.

“Control your own destiny or somebody else will.” -Jack Welch

I embrace that truth.

Let’s talk about peer support. Better yet, let’s talk about people support – from peers or anybody else who can help us.

First, I want to flip it around and talk about our ability to help others. Better yet, our opportunity to help others.

It doesn’t feel right to me to have us focus on what we can get before first talking about what we can give. Naturally occurring peer support begins with somebody bent on serving. A YouTube commenter gets the ball rolling by being supportive. Likely it’s somebody with high empathy wanting to offer some encouragement to a complete stranger. They’re probably not expecting anything in return other than the good feeling they get from helping somebody.

Do the people who surround you see you as that kind of valuable resource? 

If not, then that’s job 1. Serve others.

Stop expecting everybody to serve you. Expect more from yourself. Give more of yourself.

This is why professional (purposeful and intentional) peer advantage isn’t ideal for everybody. Some people are takers, refusing to help others. Self-centered, ego-driven and smartest-guy-in-the-room kind of people are a bad fit. They’ll wreck the ability of people to derive the benefits of the peer advantage. It’s a bit like the person who dominates a conversation circle, always bringing the conversation back to themselves. Nobody enjoys being in their company. We mostly endure them.

It’s the right thing to do – serving others. That’s all the reason we need for it. Not because we hope it’ll lead to somebody serving us. Or because we’re buttering somebody up so we can take advantage of them in the future. We do it because we can and we want to.

Is that a naturally occurring form of support? Well, it’s natural in the sense that maybe it’s befitting our personality, but we make the choice to serve. We decide who, when and how. It doesn’t “just happen.”

Naturally occurring peer support happens when people suffer a tragic event. Death is a big one.

Sadly, no matter how well intended, the peer support often falls terribly short. Grieving people know. Folks show up en masse for the funeral and the short time just before and after. Then people go back to their lives, leaving the grieving person to fend for themselves.

Good people. Great people. People who want to help. People who may feel they are helping. But it’s a moment in time where mostly people are doing what they think is best. Sadly, it’s often ineffective, providing little help to the person suffering. Sure the signs of support and the outpouring of love make people feel good that their loved one was loved so…and now is missed. But practically speaking, the deeper connection required to address deeper issues is beyond the reach of most.

Then next Thursday happens and people are left to deal alone with their grief.

There was no structure, framework or coordinated intention. No leadership. Lots of individual effort. Except for food. Somebody will lead the parade of dishes to be delivered to the home to make sure the grieving family is fed. It’s the main structure we all know and understand. So it’s what we do.

Parents, grandparents, mentors, children, co-workers, employees, suppliers, partners, church friends, neighbors…you are surrounded with lots of people who need YOU and what you can offer. You don’t need permission or any formal invitation. This is about you doing whatever you can do to make a bigger impact on these people in your life. It’s about you not waiting until you feel things “just happen.” It’s about developing a plan where you can really deliver value. My friend Leo Bottary calls it a “people plan” in his new book, What Anyone Can Do: How Surrounding Yourself with the Right People Will Drive Change, Opportunity, and Personal Growth.

Be intentional and purposeful, even in your contributions to naturally occurring peer support. Think about what you can do, not for yourself, but for them. Reframe your intentions and actions. Make it about what’s best for them, not you. Taking food to a grieving family may be helpful, but maybe asking them about their favorite restaurant is a better strategy. Then give them a gift card so they can get out of the house and enjoy a few minutes of enjoyment. Or maybe two weeks after the funeral when everybody has retreated back to their own lives you step forward to offer them something you know will serve them.

Be thoughtful. Be creative. Be intentional.

Don’t be consumed with wanting to do some big, grandiose thing. Do the simple thing nobody will do. The most thoughtful, considerate thing you’re capable of doing. The thing they most want and need.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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