Coaching Session 20

Today’s audio is 9:13 minutes long.

I don’t care about these anymore.

You shouldn’t either. Forget ’em.

Books abound on the topics. Bloggers love to write more drivel about them.

“What’s your why?”

“Find your purpose.”

“Chase your passion.”


I didn’t always feel this way. Maybe you’re still where I once was.

Laboring over questions – what is my passion? Or purpose? Where’s my why? What am I afraid of? What’s holding me back?

These aren’t just questions for aspiring entrepreneurs or creatives. These are common questions society asks of everybody. That includes people like you. Executives. People in charge.

Some of the least fulfilled people I know wear successful titles, work in successful organizations and often earn vast sums of money. They can often be some of the most fear-filled people, too.

I used to care, but I stopped caring.

Instead, I say, “Get in line.”

We’re all afraid. We’re all looking for fulfillment in those moments where it escapes us. That’s life.

Imagine a life without any of those things! You can’t.

For a moment consider EXTRAORDINARY. Why is something extraordinary? Because it’s not ordinary. It’s not average. It’s more rare than that.

Life is mostly average because that’s what happens most often. That includes your feelings, your thoughts, your actions and just about anything else you can name. Average is average. It’s the most common!

Also common are all these crazy notions and endless investigations about passion and purpose.

I’ve loved music as long as I can remember. My son is in his 30’s – a dad himself of a daughter and a son. To this day, when we’re in the car together and a song from the 80’s comes on (he’s a fan of that era of music ’cause he grew up hearing it), I’ll frequently ask, “Name the band.” He’s pretty good at it, but I’m still better. Because I’m into it and I’ve been into it much longer than him.

I have friends who could care less about music. They’re into science fiction. I could care less about science fiction. I don’t read it. Other than the mega hits like Star Wars, I don’t watch it. It’s just not my thing.

Call them interests. Call them passions. What difference does it make that I’m really into music, but not science fiction?

It doesn’t matter! So, I no longer care about your passions.

He tells me he can’t find his purpose. He’s got two little girls at home. And a wife. I stare at him and he knows something harsh it coming. He’s known me long enough to know it may be helpful though.

“I don’t care that you can’t find your purpose. For starters, you act like there’s only one out there. Somewhere. I can name 3 for you (and I named his wife and two daughters). How many more do you need?”

Yes, I know. He meant his ONE BIG purpose. I still don’t care. Mostly, because it still doesn’t matter!

The universe doesn’t care about his purpose. Larry Flynt built the Hustler pornography empire because he’s an immoral man with immoral passions. He got rich in the process.

Steve Jobs helped launch arguably the biggest brand on the planet, Apple. He loved technology. Most of us love Apple stuff (I know I do…and have ever since the first Mac arrived in 1984). He, too, got rich in the process.

People have earned millions in illegal drugs, pornography, alcohol, gambling and other “vice-oriented” businesses. People have also earned millions writing self-help books and conducting self-help seminars. Others have earned millions by owning a professional sports team. Or building cars. Or motorcycles. Or houses.

There are as many passions and purposes as there are people (well, okay, maybe not THAT many, but you get the idea). The path to improvement doesn’t ask those questions that so occupy our minds.

You aren’t reaching your full potential because you don’t have answers to those questions.

You aren’t reaching your full potential because you have answered them.

IF you aren’t reaching your full potential – and if your people aren’t reaching their full potential – it’s not because of any of that crap.

It’s all because of one thing. Just one thing.

You’re not doing what you should be doing to get the results you want.

Ditto for your people.

It’s insensitive, you say? I don’t think so. Rather, I think the Internet, the news media, the rest of society is doing you a disservice by helping you neglect what really matters. They’re giving you excuses. They’re distracting you from the path to real improvement and success.

Doing something.

Taking action.

Figuring things out.

And they’re doing it because it sells. We all want people to sympathize with us. To reassure us. To tell us, “It’ll be okay.” Well, it may not be okay if you don’t get off your butt and do something about it.

Your boss may fire you if you don’t get the job done. And better.

Your business may fail if you don’t get more customers. Today.

Life is hard. It’s a grind. That’s not popular. It’s just true. Fight it all you want. Keep looking for some pundit to give you a fistful of magic beans. Then you and Jack can climb that beanstalk together. It’s a FAIRY TALE.

So here we are roughly 100 days into the process and it’s time for a reality check (some call it tough love). I care about your results. I care about your success. I lack the power or ability to cure all that may ail you. New flash: there is somebody who can do that, but it’s not me.

It’s YOU.

Are you ready to grind it out now? If not, you may as well send me on my way and get back to doing what you were doing before I showed up.

If you are ready to ramp up the grind and do the work, then congratulations. We’re going to start making BIG strides now.

But first, there’s another intermission coming. It’s important that you take advantage of it and give me some feedback.


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