October 2018

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Let’s talk about OTHER PEOPLE. During the early years of my career OPM entered every business person’s vocabulary. It stood for “Other People’s Money.” This was long before business people were the heroes. And it was really before VC’s (venture capitalists) were legendary. The goal of business owners who had a business that seemed scalable was the IPO (Initial Public Offering). We all dreamed of what it might be like to “go public.” That’s where the big money was, taking your company public and being listed on the stock market. It was the path to get your chips off the table and cash out a portion of your equity. 

Money is great. We all want more of it, but when I talk about the power of others I don’t want to restrict it mere dollars because there are other things that have even higher value. Money will fix some things, but it won’t fix everything. It won’t solve every business problem. It won’t solve very many personal or private problems. It’s a great resource, but it’s not more valuable to us than the help and support we can get from other people. Particularly, people who get us and our situation. People who can actually do something other than listen to us. People who can help us think more clearly. People who can ask us questions that foster better answers. And people willing to hold us accountable to the very things we most want to accomplish. 

Other people improve every facet of our lives. We have to make sure we’re surrounded by the right ones – the ones who can best serve us. Ironically, those are also the people who will accept our help. That give and take relationship makes it a very special thing — to have others encircling us and to have others allow us to be part of the group surrounding them. 

You know what I love about the business world today versus when I was breaking in? Connection, collaboration and cooperation. It didn’t exist much when I was younger. We were competitive. Sometimes even hostile. We thought the world was a zero-sum game, meaning if we lost then it meant somebody else won. And if we won (which was always the goal), then somebody necessarily lost. That proverbial pie everybody was chasing was a finite thing. A fixed size. Nobody thought about growing the pie. We only thought about our ability to get our piece. The biggest piece possible. 

If you were born in the last 30 plus years, you’ve learned how wrong we were. You’ve learned how big the markets are, how many customers are available, how other people are THE path to greater accomplishments, opportunities, and success. 

This is at the heart of my career change with The Peer Advantage by Bula Network. 

Have you ever gone through some really tough time? Maybe it was personal and private. Maybe it was completely business-related. Maybe both. 

Something that wrecked you. Caused you to lose sleep. Lots of it. Something that caused you to lose your appetite. Something that vexed you night and day. You couldn’t get your mind off of it. 

Jason Isbell released a song in 2013 on his album, Southeastern. It was entitled Elephant. A sad, awful song about a woman with terminal cancer, something that has afflicted many of us. Try as we might, cancer defines so many people. Not what we want. Or what we hope. But those who suffer it know it’s the constant topic of every conversation. 

We all have elephants who occupy the rooms of our lives. Dominate our minds and hearts. 

Try as we might, they don’t leave us alone. Big, imposing creatures impossible to ignore. That’s what our elephants represent. 

For you, it may be something that awful as cancer. Your own, or a loved one.

It may be a child you fret about 24/7. Or a spouse.

It may be a particular business challenge you just can’t figure out. Or one that worries you enormously. 

Elephants. Only a fool deals with them alone. Others – trusted confidants help. 

You’re not likely intentional about the others in your life. If you’re like 99% of business owners – or any humans – then you bravely try to act like you don’t need any help. Secretly, you crave it though. You privately wish you had some people you could lean on. People who don’t judge you…they just help you. Not by telling you what you should do, but people who help you clearly assess the situation and make sure you’re seeing it accurately. People who care only about your success because they know life isn’t a zero-sum game. They know when they face their elephant, you’ll be there to help them. It’s mutual service and it’s insanely powerful. Extraordinary. Remarkable. 

You’re tired of going it alone. Problems, issues, and opportunities deserve to be addressed with wisdom, thoughtfulness, experience, and insights. 

That, my friends, is the power of others. Others lift us higher. Sustain us when we’re down. Resurrect us when we feel like we’re both down and out. Speed us up when we’re dragging. Slow us down we’re speeding out of control. They do for us what we’re unable to do for ourselves! 

Aren’t you ready to join the most elite people on the planet? The people who have learned that by leveraging the power of others they can grow their business, their leadership and their lives. Then figure it out. Find a way to surround yourself with powerful people. I’m working on just 2 answers — two groups of 7 business owners from around America who can do for others what they can’t do alone. And who can have done for them what only others can do! Visit ThePeerAdvantage.com for more details. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Acting & Feeling Your Age/Experience

I don’t feel much different than I did when I was a teenager. Kids don’t realize that in 20 years they’re not going to feel much different. And today, a 40-year-old or 60-year-old doesn’t look remotely like they did when I was a kid. Google pictures of the 1960’s compared to a picture of today. You’ll notice the differences. 

Is it culture? Modern health practices? Modern medicine? All of that, and more? Yes. 

I grew up hearing older folks tell us, as kids, to act our age. Of course, when you’re 16 you feel and think you’re acting like a 16-year-old. Honestly, you likely are acting your age. The older people want you to act older, which means they want you to act like you’ve got way more experience, wisdom, and thoughtfulness than exists in your life. 

Fake is fun, but it’s fatal.

I’m mature. I’m not old. I’m at my best right now…at this moment. 

I’ve got decades of real-world operating businesses experience and know-how, the stuff you can’t learn any other way than by doing it. 

I’ve got decades of wisdom that I didn’t have earlier, but I’m still driven by the curiosity of the things I know I need to still learn.

I’m not alone. Draw a timeline that can represent a lifetime. Make marks at 18, 24, 30, 36…and on. Every mark, every age, and experience brings value. My current value is what it is. But it’s not like my value just kicked in. 

Age and experience are realities that too many people get messed up on. Young people want to be older. Older people want to be younger. Both sometimes want to act the opposite of what they are. Or where they are. 

It’s why there’s so much fakery. We wrongly think we can fool people. Forget it. Even if you do fool people, remember you’ve only fooled the fools. 

Owning your present reality isn’t a cop-out. It doesn’t mean you don’t grow, feed your curiosities, or devote yourself fully to the mountain climb! Fact is, that’s exactly what it does mean. You do all that and more. You create, innovate, disrupt and learn — all aimed at your own life first. 

What you’ve figured out is important. What you haven’t figured out may be more important. At the heart of it all is figuring out YOU. I’m focusing on this as I return from being dormant for about a month because I continue to see people posing as something they’re genuinely not. From executives seeking new opportunities, to leaders who are finding it difficult to mimic somebody they admire, to business owners who feel the urge to jump on every latest technical tactic or strategy, even the ones they’ve not spent enough time to fully understand. It’s a big game of people grasping at straws. And it makes no sense to me.

Plus, there’s a ton of people looking for positive reinforcement for every dumb idea they’ve got. The lack of candor and accountability is the death of too many already. 

So people puff up to inflate themselves, like puffer fish trying to scare off predators. Pretending to be better, bigger, more sophisticated, more successful than they really are. It’s an addiction that will end poorly, but in the short-term, it feels great. We’re deluded. Not thinking clearly.

Reality is the recipe, the counter punch needed. 

Feeling good in the short-term produces long-term pain and guilt. Scan the Wall Street Journal, randomly looking at companies reporting performance. If the results are positive, you’ll hear company officials talk a certain way. But if the results are lackluster, or poor, you’ll get complex language aimed at avoiding responsibility and accountability. The blame game is popular when you want to avoid reality. 

What does this mean for you and your business? Or your leadership?

Do what is necessary to get a clear mind. Discover the truth.

We usually know when our vision isn’t quite right because we know what seeing clearly looks like. But it’s possible to ignore the signs and over time we don’t realize just how blind we are. Enter the eye exam or test. It’s a way for us to know – not think, but to really know – that our vision isn’t what it should be. We’re not seeing things clearly. 

Our business ownership and leadership need that kind of scrutiny so we know we’re seeing things as they are, not as we hope them to be. You can take a number of actions to help. I’m going to suggest you start communicating with your people. Candor and listening are key. Be frank in communicating what you’re hoping to accomplish – a quest to discover the truth. You want the truth of what’s right, what’s wrong, what needs to be fixed, what needs to be enhanced, what needs to stop…you want the most open dialogue you can foster. That’s going to be hard if you’ve never done it before because people are going to be mistrustful. You’re going to have to prove to everybody how serious you are. 

Ask questions, then listen. Don’t prime the pump for the answers you want. You want the truth. You want and need reality. Your leadership, your ownership, and your business will benefit most from the truth, not some fake reality you all wish was true. 

Changing the culture to foster truth takes time. Be patient.

This can’t be a one-off. You need to make this how you roll all the time. Once you sense people are trusting enough to divulge the truth, praise it. Act on it. But be patient knowing that if this is going to stick, you’ll have to keep pushing. 

Insist on the truth. Show people that the quicker they get to the truth, the better for them, and the entire operation. While speed matters, and I’m fanatical about it when it comes to execution, you have to be patient knowing that if this is brand new inside your business…it’s going to take time for people to continue to embrace this new way.

Challenge your leadership team by not tolerating anything other than brutal honesty. Not brutal in the sense that it’s filled with judgment and finger-pointing. Brutal in the sense that it’s fast and respectfully unfiltered. The word is “thoughtful.” Do not tolerate anything other than thoughtful honesty and discussion about the truth – how things really are.

Disagreement is okay. In fact, it’s good. Leverage it.

Understand that somebody’s truth is somebody else’s fakery. We don’t all see things the same way. We all make judgments. It’s necessary so we can do anything. Discernment, dot-connecting – it’s all part of what we do every day. All of us. 

But sometimes we get it wrong. Convinced we had it right until somebody or something shows us we were wrong…we were convinced we were right. How you overcome that? 

By sharing experiences and insights.

When somebody reveals a truth, make sure everybody expresses why they believe that to be true. Push and make people defend it. Let others push you to defend what you believe to be true. There has to be a standard by which you’re going to measure truth. And a way for you to get to it. This is it. 

Get close to the source. A common problem with leadership is a poor perspective. Their viewpoint is from an angle far removed from the work. Yes, you need that wide-angle view that leadership provides, but you also need to zoom in and get up close to the problem. It’s easy to discount the feedback – the experiences and insights – of the front line workers because leaders tend to look down on them (BIG mistake) and think they know more. The employees doing the work have a viewpoint you must hear! Listen without judgment. Reward candor and honesty. Again, just make sure everybody knows their experiences and insights are valuable but open to honesty challenging. Don’t get defensive, but people have to know excuse-making and griping aren’t the objectives – getting to the truth is what matters. You want to make things better and that can best be done when you know what the problems are. Liken it to a doctor’s visit where you reveal the symptoms, but the doctor has to perform tests to make sure you both know what you’re up against.

If your end of the boat sinks, so does mine.

This is very important. It’s not a zero-sum game. It’s mutually beneficial or mutually detrimental. The company can grow, and the individual inside the organization can grow, too. Expanding the pie, that’s the goal. Impress your company with that goal. Don’t just talk the talk, do it. Daily.

Pronouns matter. Lose “I” and “me” from your vocabulary. Yes, I know you own the joint. So does everybody else. But you don’t have to rub everybody’s nose in it. These people have their lives invested in their work. The company matters to them. They don’t need equity for the company to matter to them. 

Embrace “we” and “our” into your daily vocabulary. It’s a powerful way for you to demonstrate the power of “if your end of the boat sinks, so does mine.” As the captain of the boat, do all you can to make sure everybody understands the power of truth to help you steer the boat in the most favorable direction so everybody benefits. 

Don’t let anybody fake anything. Keep it all real. Truthful. Fake is deadly. Fatal. 

Be well, Do good. Grow great!

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