Randy Cantrell

Randy Cantrell is the founder of Bula Network, LLC - an executive leadership advisory company helping leaders leverage the power of others through peer advantage, online peer advisory groups. Interested in joining us? Visit ThePeerAdvantage.com

What’s Your Habitual Way Of Explaining Bad Events? – Grow Great Daily Brief #187 – April 11, 2019

In 1990 a paperback book’s title captured my attention while browsing through a bookstore (I frequently haunted bookstores; I miss it).

Learned Optimism: How To Change Your Mind And Your Life

It was written by one Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D. I knew I had to read it ’cause the author had TWO middle initials. E.P. stands for Elias Pete by the way. That actually had nothing to do with my buying the book, but I found it interesting nonetheless.

Dr. Seligman is the Director of the Penn Positive Psychology Center and Zellerbach Family Professor of Psychology in the Penn Department of Psychology. I hadn’t heard about “positive psychology” in 1990. Nobody else had either since it was introduced by the good doctor in 1998 when he became the President of the American Psychological Association. The University of Pennsylvania website offers us this definition…

Positive Psychology is the scientific study of the strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive. The field is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.

There’s a chapter about kids. On January 25, 1992 I had my two kids take an assessment contained in the book. My kids were both under the age of 12. I’ve still got their answers, written in their own handwriting. It’s proof of how interested I was in helping my kids grow up to be optimistic.

Dr. Seligman writes…

“Your habitual way of explaining bad events, your explanatory style, is more than just the words you mouth when you fail. It is a habit of thought, learned in childhood and adolescence. Your explanatory style stems directly from your view of your place in the world – whether you think you are valuable and deserving, or worthless and hopeless. It is the hallmark of whether you are an optimist or a pessimist.”

According to Dr. Seligman, there are 3 crucial dimensions to our explanatory style: permanence, pervasiveness, and personalization. Today, let’s focus a bit on that first dimension, permanence.

People who quit or give up easily believe the causes of the bad events that happen to them are permanent. They think the bad events will persist, always impacting their life. People who resist hopelessness believe the causes of the bad events are temporary.

Words matter.

If you think about bad things and attach words like “always” and “never,” then you’re bent toward a permanent, pessimistic style. “This always happens to me,” is a common refrain we heard. Maybe from our own lips. “I never seem to win,” is another common one.

Contrast those terms with these: “sometimes” or “lately.” Those kinds of qualifiers, says Dr. Seligman, blame bad events on transient conditions and mean we have a more optimistic style.

Hopelessness is real for all of us. Sometimes. Because failure makes us all feel hopeless momentarily. We describe it as a gut punch. It buckles our knees. It hurts. Badly sometimes. But the hurt dissipates. For some, it can go away almost immediately. For others, it takes more time. Still, others don’t seem to get over it. They seethe, feeding the pain until it grows into bitterness. These people can remain helpless and hopeless for a long time, even after a small setback. If the hurt is big enough, they may not ever find their way back.

The flip side of this is how we explain good events. No point talking about how we process bad events without considering how we process good ones.

The optimistic style of explaining good events is just the opposite of the optimistic style of explaining bad ones. People who believe good events have permanent causes are more optimistic than people who believe they have temporary causes.

Optimistic people explain good events to themselves in terms of permanent causes. That’s why their self-talk includes terms like traits, abilities and always. Pessimists use different language: moods, effort, sometimes.

People who believe good events have permanent causes try even harder after they succeed. People who see temporary reasons for good events may give up even when they succeed because they’re tempted to believe the success was a fluke.

That’s why yesterday I urged you to keep growing if you’re “on the gold.” Lean into the success and create even more success.

This particular dimension of our explanatory style – permanence – deals with TIME.

It’s important that you – the leader, the business owner – learn to be optimistic and view failure or bad events as merely temporary conditions on the path to success. While simultaneously seeing good events and success as being more permanent and things well within our control.

Why does this matter? Because it will determine our outcomes and the outcomes of our organizations. Pay close attention to the language you use with yourself and with others. You can start changing that language to something more profitable, but I encourage you to do some deeper work by changing your mind so you truly believe.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Mine The System Every Day – Grow Great Daily Brief #186 – April 10, 2019

The other day I saw an online story about Henry Winkler reinventing himself from “The Fonz” on Happy Days to the comedic acting coach on HBO’s Barry. His wife of 40 years talked about how important working is to Henry. And how sad she was for him going to audition after audition without being hired. Henry admitted that during days when he didn’t know what to do, he just hung on. He likened it to surviving a gale force wind. Last year, he got the part in Barry and won an Emmy for his performance.

“I mine the system every day,” says Henry Winkler. “But it really does work. If you are tenacious and if you have the will, it all comes back to you.”

Mining the system every day resonated with me. It likely resonates with you, too. It’s what we do inside our businesses. We mine our own system – our business. We dig and dig and dig some more. Working hard to find the gold, or diamonds or whatever precious thing we can. Mostly we’re all mining for success – defined however we choose to define it. We’re searching for momentum. And if we find it, or create it, then we keep mining to keep it. Or amplify it.

Hard work. Few occupations seem harder, more difficult physically and mentally than mining. At least, being the guys who go into the mine. Entrepreneurship is a different, but sorta the same kind of tough. It’s tough physically and mentally. It’s often dark and lonely, too.

Nothing beats hard work. Nothing.

You can’t replace it with anything else. There’s no equation where anything equals or surpasses hard work. Not talent. Or know-how. Or experience. Largely because a person who works hard has the number one ingredient for success, willingness!

Willingness was what drove Henry Winkler to find his next level of success. He was willing to do whatever was necessary to get a part. He wanted to keep working as an actor. That desire fueled his willingness, which in turn, amped up his work ethic.

He’s talented. Let’s not forget that, but even with a proven track record of success his phone wasn’t ringing. He had to go get success. He had to mine for it every single day.

Yesterday we talked a bit about complacency. There are many reasons why a person – including YOU – might grow complacent. But this much is sure, complacent people don’t mine every day. Willing, committed people do.

The system could represent any number of things, but for our purposes, it first represents your business or organization. Your enterprise is the vehicle that produces the value. The vehicle requires constant care and keeping. As the owner, or as a leader, that job depends on you doing your part.

For most top-level leaders, the mining you do is done through others. Non-leaders think it’s easy, but they don’t understand. It means worrying about the miners who do the actual digging inside your company. It means providing them with all the tools and resources they need. It means taking care of them. Each and every one of them. Their problems are your problems.

You know the pain of it. And the loneliness, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s the kind of mining you most love.

Henry Winkler mined the acting system every day by doing what he could. Same goes for us. And all the people on our team.

When we’re on the gold it’s easy, but when we’re not it can be hard to keep up our determination. Winkler mentioned two aspects of mining that are critical: tenacity and will.

Tough times test them both.

Today’s episode is about encouragement. I want to encourage you to mine the system every day even if today’s haul isn’t what you hoped. Or if it is.

If it’s not, then keep at it. Henry’s right. It will come to you. Keep digging and believing. Keep learning, understanding and growing.

If it is coming to you, then amp it up even more. Strike while the iron is hot and all that. But there’s also the reality that a small improvement in success garners much greater success than a large improvement in failure. When you’re growing is the time to focus on growing even more. Give it all you’ve got. Every day.

No matter what.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Does It Take A Bad Guy To Beat Complacency? – Grow Great Daily Brief #185 – April 9, 2019

Jimmy Johnson is still missed in Dallas. The infamous split with Dallas Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones wrecked what most feel would have been prime opportunities for at least a couple of more Super Bowls. We’ll never know.

What we do know is that Jimmy was tired of being the bad guy. And he wanted to live in southern Florida.

“I had to be the bad guy because people get complacent.”

That’s what Jimmy said after he left the sidelines for the broadcast table. Far be it from me to second guess him. He’s got the degree in organizational psychology. That doesn’t make him infallible, but it does demonstrate how smart he is. He reportedly has a high IQ and may be a member of Mensa, the high IQ club. There’s no question the man is crazy smart.

Football and sports coaching is often compared to running businesses, but it’s more likely a metaphor we like than an accurate comparison. I’ve done both and they’re not the same. Not by a long shot. Of course, I’ve not coached sports at the professional level and I suppose there’s a strong argument to be made that at that level, they may be quite a lot alike. Who knows?

People do get complacent. No doubt about it.

Sometimes leaders do have to be “the bad guy.” I don’t doubt that either.

What I do question are what both of those mean.

Complacency is defined as a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements. Is that what’s really going on when a leader may be sparked to be a bad guy? Or might we sometimes mistake confusion or dissatisfaction with complacency? Is it possible sometimes people in our organization are lackluster because we’ve not provided them the information, tools and encouragement necessary to instill in them the purpose they so earnestly desire?

Does it take being a bad guy to bring that about? Of course not.

And what does being a bad guy mean? Mostly, we think it means being tough, harsh and stern. And I’m not saying there’s never a place for that. There is.

Training children sometimes require a sternness to make the point. Polite asking goes ignored. And ignored some more. I’ve quite intentionally shown my teeth in order to make a point. Kids get it. Quite quickly. Was I intentionally being a “bad guy?” Sure. But I didn’t see it as being a bad guy. Rather, it was because I cared enough to be for them what I most felt they needed in the moment.

Maybe that’s how Jimmy Johnson meant it. Maybe not.

Being “the bad guy” isn’t required to battle complacency though. And being the bad guy all the time is a surefire way to lose your team or organization. Being “the bad guy” isn’t being a jerk. It’s doing what you must to get the attention of people and to drive home the priority of the moment. It’s also part of being what people most need to learn, understand and grow.

Don’t be a tyrant. Don’t think being a bad cop is the way to higher human performance. It’s not. Being the “bad guy” is only valuable when you remain focused on the recipients, not yourself.

Keep your eyes and attention on the people you lead. Serve them well. Be for them whatever can best help them in the moment. It’s not about you. It’s about them.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Empathy: The Value Of An Historical Perspective (But In Real Time) – Grow Great Daily Brief #184 – April 8, 2019

I remember sitting in a college history class, The History Of Western Civilization and thinking about these ancient characters of the past. Here I am surrounded by hundreds of my not-so-close college friends, sitting in a class that should be anything but boring (why are so many college history professors boring?) wondering how many kids around the planet are being taught these same things. And how can history be somewhat united – more so than in real time – in judging why historical figures thought what they thought and did what they did?

What I love about history is, well…history. But I also love how we approach it.

Empathy is best summed up in a word: UNDERSTANDING.

Empathy toward others means we understand how they feel. We get it.

The real-time approach to discernment is heavy on judgment. Mostly, I think because it is in real-time. There’s little or no distance between the action and our judgment of it. In short, we judge it based on the facts, assumptions or opinions at hand. It’s the context easily at our disposal.

The historical approach to discernment is fairly low in judgment, even in a liberally-minded college campus. Mostly, because it’s not in real-time. There are often great distances between the action and our current judgment about whatever happened. In short, we judge it based on more facts, fewer assumptions, and more open-minded opinions. The context is filled with more information.

Last Friday morning during a conversation I mentioned this difference. Not sure where it came from, but as they say, “Even a blind pig can find one every now and again.” What I found was a way to communicate the value and benefit of applying a different viewpoint when we look at others. Particularly when we’re drawn to make a judgment that is mostly critical. One where we’re tempted to think (or even say), “I wouldn’t do that” or “I wouldn’t do it that way.”

History is history. It is what it is. There’s no changing it. No going back to fix whatever happened. Well, unless you believe in things like the Outlander.

This means our investment in it is primarily based in the desire to simply know. And understand. We want to figure out what happened and why. Why did those people do what they did? What prompted them to make the choices they made? History is largely based on answering those two questions: What and Why. What did they do. And why.

In real time, we often feel no need to ask either of those questions. I see what you did. I know what you did. And I know why you did it. And I completely disagree with it. You’re an idiot. In real time, we keep it neat and tidy. We also keep our dignity in knowing how much better we are. After all, we would have never done what you just did.

Perspective matters.

Claire and Jamie of Outlander fame prove a point. They find Jamie’s aunt in America. She owns a plantation with over 150 slaves. Claire, who has traveled in time back from the modern world is appalled at the mere notion of slavery. The aunt names Jamie the overseer of the estate and has decided to bestow it all to him. But Claire is unable to resolve the fact that in the 1800’s on places just like this plantation, slavery was real. She’s come from the future and has a context that isn’t congruent with the time in which she now finds herself. At Claire’s urging, Jamie refuses to make a life with Claire running the plantation. Never mind that the aunt was a fair person, treating the slaves more favorably than those around her. Never mind that Claire and Jamie may have been able to provide an even more fair situation for the slaves of the plantation. Freedom for slaves wasn’t easy or even probable at the time.

Claire’s knowledge and experience of the future disabled her to make what could have been a wiser decision. It would have certainly made her life with her husband easier. All proving the point that our context and the context of what we seek to understand — it matters. Claire believed slavery to be wrong and perhaps in real-time her judgment couldn’t be helped. The rest of society mostly accepted slavery as a way of life, even if they disagreed with it.

The founding fathers of our country aren’t judged based on real-time scrutiny. Do we make allowances for them? Of course, we do. Should we? Of course, we should.

I’ve got 5 grandkids. Ranging in age from 3 to almost 12. Do I make allowances for the 3-year-old that I won’t give to the almost-12-year-old? You bet. And I must. I should. They’re at different spots on the timeline of life. One knows infinitely more than the other. One has the emotional tools of a person four times the age of the other. Those are major differences. So it goes with an historical perspective.

However…

What about UNDERSTANDING? That’s at the heart of empathy. How can this factor in to helping us increase our empathy and leverage it in our leadership?

Two words. One a verb. One a noun.

SEEK.

CURIOSITY.

The verb is “seek.”

The noun is “curiosity.”

Put them together in a 2-word sentence. Seek curiosity.

Split them apart.

Seek understanding.

Be curious enough to seek understanding.

The thing about the historical perspective is that the further away we are from the event and the people involved, the less judgmental we tend to be about it all. The more we lean into trying to figure out why they did what they did. We simply seek to understand because we’re curious. Various things might fuel our curiosity, but the value is high. Are we seeking understanding so we can learn something about them…or about ourselves? I’m not sure the motive behind the understanding is as crucial as the act of trying to understand…trumped only by the success to understand.

Can we employ a historical perspective even when there’s very little time distance? Meaning, if the event just happened can we approach it as though it happened 100 years ago? Of course, we can. We’re humans with an incredible ability to project ourselves into situations and circumstances we’ve not experienced before. Our imaginations can serve us if we just exercise them more and more toward helping us understand.

Our biases destroy our ability. We all have bigotry about something or somebody. Blind spots caused by our opinions, assumptions, and viewpoints. Those fade as we look at things beyond the context of the present. That’s why we’re able to read, study and learn from our founding fathers without judging them too harshly, even if they were slave owners. It certainly isn’t because we’re willing to believe slavery is right, or that it was even right at that time. We’re able to view the people and events in the time, considering the circumstances of their lives – not ours. And that’s the key to understanding. Stop considering the context of your life. Instead, consider the context of the lives of the people you’re trying to understand.

Is it easy? Not in real-time. Engage your imagination and tack 100 years onto it, then give it a try. Remove yourself from the process. Stop being self-centered. It’s hampering your empathy, serving nobody!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Don’t Dance With Invisibility (Get Involved) – Grow Great Daily Brief #183 – April 5, 2019

The line came from a bit of dialogue in a 2009 movie featuring George Clooney, The Men Who Stare At Goats. Clooney plays Lyn Cassady. Bob is a reporter friend inquiring about Lyn’s life.

Lyn Cassady: Once you understand the linkage between observation and reality then you begin to dance with invisibility.
Bob Wilton: Like camouflage.
Lyn Cassady: No, it’s not like camouflage.

Lyn was part of a secret military psychological and paranormal unit. He claimed to be a Jedi, a superpower soldier with extraordinary mental capabilities. It wasn’t that great a movie, but it did have a few laugh out loud moments.

Lyn uttered the line in reference to his ability to become invisible. This would clearly be a good thing. A positive tool for any soldier.

I’m using the line in reference to our ability to not be noticed. To be virtually – not literally – invisible. Nobody notices. Especially during times when we could most use some noticing. Times when we could use some help. I’m using it as something negative. Something to be avoided or remedied.

My two-word solution is, “Get involved.” But that’s not deep enough. It’s just a headline to render a quick meaning to “do something about your loneliness or invisibility.”

The burdens of leadership are lonely. And I don’t mean power, authority or being in charge. People become intoxicated with those things. Nobody (at least intentionally) gets drunk on loneliness. They might go mad, but drunk? Doubtful. Loneliness can put the best of us in a quick funk.

The loneliness of true leadership – the constant serving of others (which is the name of the game) – is a side disadvantage. To be fair, the advantages of serving others is vast, broad and deep…filled with tons of rewards found nowhere else for the person bent to do the work. The focus is always on somebody else. At least when leadership is done well. It’s selfless. Intentionally so.

The leader is not invisible. Rather, she’s in the forefront when others need help. She’s first in line to get the call or text because others trust her. They’re comfortable leaning on her.

The leader isn’t invisible because he’s top of mind during trouble. When people find themselves in unchartered water they quickly contact the person with whom they feel most safe and able to help.

Genuine leadership derives energy from service. Concentrating on others is the work and leaders would have it no other way.

But…

To whom does the leader go? When he’s in need, who does she text or call?

To whom can the leader shell it all down with and feel safe? To whom can the leader confide without fear of judgment or betrayal?

Who can relate to the leader’s plight of invisibility – those times when the leader needs to focus a bit more on himself?

So few leaders have an intentional plan for such occasions. Mostly because they have nobody to whom they can safely go. And if safety isn’t the issue (like a close friend or family member), then relatability is the issue. It’s why husbands or wives in leadership often find it tough to connect and communicate with their spouse about work-related issues. Context and language matter…and it’s a hard thing to accomplish with people who have little or no idea what we may be up against.

One solution is to surround yourself with people to whom you’ll never be invisible. People who will be involved with you and people to whom you can be involved. Peers.

According to research done by my friend Leo Bottary (co-author of the book, The Power Of Peers), there are 5 factors that bring about the peer advantage.

Select The Right Peers

  • A peer group is smarter than any one individual.
  • Leaders benefit from insightful questions and the impartial advice of their peers.
  • People prefer to implement their own solutions, rather than be told what to do and how to do it.
  • Success is the most effective means of driving positive behavior changes.
  • Leaders, regardless of industry sector, share common aspirations and challenges.
  • Leaders benefit from learning about industry practices not common to their own business.
  • Peer accountability is a powerful force.

Create A Safe Environment

  • Being vulnerable is liberating.
  • When you can share anything, knowing you won’t be judged, it’s a powerful force to help you grow.
  • A healthy respect for confidentiality is mandatory. What happens in a group, stays in the group. It’s not negotiable.
  • Vulnerability is seen as a strength, not a weakness.
  • Creativity and change are fueled by our willingness to be open.

Utilize A Smart Guide

  • True smart guides lead with the hand of a servant.
  • They listen, ask good questions, build camaraderie, consider themselves as coaches rather than consultants and wear their passion for the role on their sleeve.
  • The smart guide is part of the group and every member of the group has their back.
  • They reinforce group norms, create an atmosphere of learning and have fun – all at the same time.

Foster Valuable Interaction

  • Confidentiality is key. That safe environment fosters more open interactions.
  • Skilled, repeated interactions create close bonds among group members who share in the joys of repeated successes.
  • The use of a highly strategic and structured approach fosters more skilled discussions.
  • It involves properly framing the issue, asking questions informed by experience and leveraging the power of a collection of successful business owners.
  • It provides an unparalleled opportunity for personal and professional development of every member.

Be Accountable

  • Accountability is where peer advantage comes to life.
  • It’s where the outcomes and takeaways each business owner realizes manifest themselves both personally and professionally.
  • It’s the whole point — to grow. To improve. To be more effective.
  • The difference between peer influence and peer advantage is that peer influence is an individual pursuit while peer advantage is a group endeavor powered by greater selectivity, targeted strategies for achieving goals and structured engagement that inspires lasting results.

These 5 factors are part of The Peer Advantage by Bula Network. This is my solution to help you avoid the dance with invisibility. It’s just one answer for 7 U.S.-based entrepreneurs. I’m currently accepting applications at ThePeerAdvantage.com.

This life-changing opportunity will provide 7 small business owners the opportunity to fix their loneliness once and for all. To surround themselves with other owners who will help them learn, understand and grow. I invite you to complete the application today. It’ll only take you a few minutes. Once I get your application, I’ll reach out so we can schedule a phone call. That phone call isn’t a sales pitch of any kind. Rather, it’s a time for me to learn more about you and your business – and an opportunity for you to learn whatever you’d like about me and The Peer Advantage by Bula Network.

We’ve just completed week 1 of Q2. Don’t put it off. It’s time to leverage the power you can gain in surrounding yourself with people fully capable of helping you grow your business, your leadership and your life. Go to ThePeerAdvantage.com right now and complete the application.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Mentors, Trusted Advisors & Confidants – Grow Great Daily Brief #182 – April 4, 2019

On February 20th I lost a man who had been a lifelong mentor. His name was Barney. Whenever people would ask about my relationship with him, I’d always say the same thing, “a lifelong friend, confidant, and mentor.” Barney was about a decade and a half further up the trail, which gave me valuable benefits of his perspective.

His death hit me hard, but I was happy that just days before he passed we’d been able to spend some extended time in a phone call where we were able to express our love for each other. Neither of us expected it to be our last talk. Fact is, we were anticipating seeing one another in just a couple of months.

Since his death, I’ve thought quite a lot about mentors, trusted advisors, and confidants. I have no proof, but intuition tells me most people have very few such people to serve them in life…which makes no sense to me at all, given the high value they can provide. Barney knew me my entire life. That context helped both of us. Provided a comfort zone for us both, too.

Trust. That’s the thing.

Without it, you have nothing. With it, much is possible, if not probable.

I trusted Barney. More than any other older advisor I’ve lost thus far. And more than most other older men in my life – they’re the ones who have provided the lion’s share of value in my life – Barney unhesitatingly challenged me. And with very few words, but with a directness nobody else could or would provide.

He was raised in Kentucky. When he was a boy the family moved up to the Cinncinati area, just across the Ohio border. He was unashamed of being a hillbilly, talking of his family emerging from the hollers of Kentucky.

During one visit where I gathered my son and a few other young men to learn from his wisdom, Barney recounted the family’s move. My son asked, “Did you ever go back to Kentucky to visit.” Barney replied, “Sure. We’d hop on a bus with a sack of sandwiches and take the ride back home to show off.” 😀

We all chuckled at the sight of a bunch of transplanted Kentucky hillbillies leaving the big city on a Greyhound bus with a sack of sandwiches to go back to the hills and show off how citified they now were. But that’s the kind of man he was.

When Barney died a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom went with him except for the vast amount of it he passed on. And he did pass it on. Or try to. I hope I was a good student. I tried to be.

Giving.

It’s likely counter-intuitive to start with us being the giver. That is, with OUR being the mentor, trusted advisor, and confidant. But it’s only right for us to give before we expect to get.

Whether giving or receiving, the factors are likely the same. A few key things to consider for today.

Trust is found only in safety and confidentiality. Without it, all else is lost.

Many people are prone to share whatever they know. Others are prone to judge. Still others to tell you what you ought to do. Can you commit – will you commit – to keeping private things private? Can others trust you to not divulge the expressions of their heart they choose to share with you?

It’s a tall order that not everybody can keep. Fact is, most won’t. Which makes this service rarer.

Should you decide to join the ranks of mentors, trusted advisors and confidants then you’ll need to make sure you’re prepared for this basic, but most important task. Some find it hard. Others of us, not so much. For me, it’s second nature because I’m thankfully not prone to harsh judgment. Truth is, I don’t feel as though I’m better than people I serve. Mostly, I’m not likely as good. So that makes it easier for me. I’m lucky like that.

Asking great questions. Once trust is deeply embedded, then asking deep questions is possible. These are the tools for service, designed to help a person think through their possibilities and figure out for themselves what course may be best.

Through the years Barney would utter one critical phrase in our conversations. It would be a two-word command that would begin many, many discussions. “Think about…” Or he might even say, “What do you think about…?” Every single time it would provoke thoughts…and questions I’d ask him. He knew I was desperate to benefit from his study, experience and knowledge. He, on the other hand, was desperate to help me figure it out for myself.

Encouragement. I’m growing increasingly fascinated with this topic. I talk about it frequently over at my passion project, LeaningTowardWisdom.com. I even registered the URL Craving Encouragement dot com.

Barney would encourage me constantly. To study. To read. To think. To pray. Sometimes it took the form of challenge. Firm, but loving. I never ever doubted his care for me. He wasn’t the recipient of the service. I was. There’s another lesson as a giver. Don’t make it about you. It’s always about them – those you’re working to serve.

To express belief in another is a powerful gift we don’t often enough provide. Shame on us. Especially if we feel it, but neglect to express it.

These are vital factors to mentorship, being a trusted advisor and being a confidant. This is on my mind today, but another older gentleman in my life turns 83 today. His name is Ronny. Lord willing, I’ll see him next month. But I confess to you that I wrote him a letter and emailed it yesterday – the day before his birthday. The subject line said: “Happy Birthday (a day early…because I know we have today and I’m uncertain about tomorrow)”

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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