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A few podcasts ago – on another show I produce – I commented that I felt like I needed to hold my brain upside down, like an Etch A Sketch®. After you’ve created something on an Etch A Sketch® you may want to create something completely different. Easy. Just turn it upside down with the screen facing the floor and shake it. The Magic Screen is now wiped clean giving you a “canvas” to create whatever you want.

Six years ago I started diving more deeply into my own head. I know, dangerous stuff, right?

Since I was a teen I’d read books about self-image, inner conflict, cognitive dissonance and other things that might help me better understand human behavior. Mainly my own.

Most recently my investigation was sparked by all the linearity I saw online. People acting and saying how they structured their lives, their ambitions. Dream achievement is very large topic online. It seemed like lots of people had figured out something that I was rather certain couldn’t be figured out.

Being the contrarian that I am, my objective was to prove that we’re subject to buying into lies (at worst), misconceptions (in the middle ground) or delusional ignorance (at best). And it’s all mostly about US. These are our lies, our misconceptions and our delusional ignorance.

Back in the late 70’s I remembering reading about how we create our story in our mind. Instantly it resonated with me, but it made me wonder. Is that right? Is that true?

When I was in junior high I was given a school project. Go interview some adult doing for a living what you want to do. I wanted to be a cartoonist. I wasn’t in Los Angeles or New York City. I didn’t know any cartoonists who lived in my town. There wasn’t any Internet so we had to find a local person doing what we wanted to do. Turns out the local newspaper had an on staff cartoonist who mostly did political cartoons and some advertising illustrations. I called him up, asked if I could come interview him and he graciously agreed. My mom took me to see him. He was very gracious and told me stories of going to art school, claiming he had gone to art school with Charles Schultz, creator of Peanuts. “He wasn’t the best artist, but he understood people,” he told me.

I went home and laid in bed that night thinking, “I really don’t know anybody doing what I want to do.” Here I had just talked with somebody doing cartooning professionally, but I didn’t want to draw advertising illustrations or political stuff. My reality – in my head – was that I didn’t live where one had to live to succeed at cartooning. Or writing (another youthful goal). Perspective in my head trashed me. And I knew as a junior high student how powerful it was – and how damaging it could be – to craft some story in your head that may not be true. Turns out it wasn’t a true story, but it was the story I was telling myself. And I bought it. Because I wrote it. It was my story. I’ve never forgotten it.

Fast forward a number of decades. Over the years I’ve learned that “our story” is mostly like the movie Matrix – perception. Our perception.

Enter the Age Of The Data Freak

Metrics. KPIs. Analytics. Measurements.

Hard evidence means truthful evidence. Not fake evidence. Lying with stats is an ancient art. People pay attention to the wrong things. And sometimes connect dots that aren’t connected. And I’m a dot connector so I see it.

We’re relying more and more on data and less and less on common sense. Stupidity is ruling our lives because we’re not thinking clearly. We need to turn our mind upside down and shake it. Clear it all out.

Reboot.

Sometimes data is useless because people aren’t computers. They don’t always behave predictably. Other times they behave too predictably. Sometimes they get scared. For no reason.

We analyze. And over analyze.

We dissect. Then put it under the microscope.

We evaluate. Then spend time reviewing our evaluations.

We turn an idea over. Eight ways to Sunday. Then we go back and do it again.

For what?

Looking for magic, that’s what. Looking for an easier path that doesn’t exist. Looking to replicate somebody’s success — that if we had it…wouldn’t be what we wanted to begin with. Because we’re not them.

We think the data will show us the way because we think the path to success is dynamic. Because we’re now living in an era dominated by the Internet we think new tactics and strategies are in play. Strategies that we don’t understand, and haven’t yet learned. Some we chase every pidedpiper who comes along claiming to know what we feel we don’t. Lots of chasing. Not much catching.

Success.

Mostly catching frustration. Anxiety. Increased fear.

Success Isn’t A Datapoint

It’s a process. Hard work. Time consuming. It always has been with rare exceptions of freakish oddities who catch lightning in a bottle.

Sylvia Duckworth did a terrific graphic depiction of what success really looks like. Follow her on Twitter.

The iceberg illusion is real. The height of our success may be disproportionately lower than the depth of our hidden efforts. Or maybe higher. Or maybe equal. That’s the impossible part to predict. Or fully control. It’s all the work below the water line that we can control. And that’s where the magic happens!

I’ve long been puzzled by people who don’t want to show that below the waterline activity until they’ve broken the surface of success. Then, they’ll tell you how awful things were. How they lived in their car for 2 years. Or how they incurred 6 figures of credit card debt. Or how they gained 125 pounds. Why not share that stuff in real-time? Because until you’re successful you don’t feel comfortable sharing it? Why not? What do you care about how other people view you?

This is just some of why we need to clear the screen of our mind.

Our mind can get it wrong. And you do know, don’t you, that YOU are the biggest hurdle to your success?

The most famous Pogo cartoon was “We have met the enemy and he is us” in 1971. It resonated with us because deep down we know it’s true.

We think things. We believe things. They drive us. Or prevent us.

Mostly, it’s US. Our brains creating realities that aren’t real…except we make them real.

Plan for success. Craft your strategy. Or not. I’m urging NOT.

Instead, it’s one-step at a time. It’s the next step. Then it’s adjust. Then, the next step! Then more adjustments. And keep going until you sense traction, or a loss of it.

Do more of what works. Do less of what doesn’t work. 

With a screen filled with clutter you can’t clearly see or know what’s what. That’s why you need to shake that screen and clear it.

Working on yourself will be the hardest work you ever do. It doesn’t matter who you are. It’ll always be hard. But worthwhile.

Busy-ness prevents us from doing it. Some people enjoy remaining distracted so they can avoid that work. They con themselves into thinking it’s something else. It’s not them. It’s circumstance. Environment. Their job. Their spouse. Their parents. It’s something. Somebody. Some place. But it’s not them.

Stop it. It’s madness, which is why I’m talking about it. Because my renewed focus is on the 3rd leg of the trifecta of business building, “not going crazy in the process.” I’m pushing more and more attention on that because the need is enormous. I see it in the faces of business owners (and leaders). I hear it in their voice. The loneliness. Isolation. Worry.

It’s not a pessimistic view. It’s honest. Reality. Much of what drives us crazy is what’s going on in our head. Thinking.

“Don’t over-think it,” people will say. They often mean, “Act. Don’t waller it around in your mind.” But that’s not always the culprit to our difficulties (our craziness). Sometimes it’s that’s our thinking is corrupted by some script we wrote years ago. Or one we’re writing right now. We’ve developed some story in our head and it’s driving our actions. Problem is, the story isn’t accurate.

It’s not always a story crafted because we’re pursuing success. The story can also be crafted because we don’t want to lose success. Playing it safe.

Let me illustrate. A business owner is operating a successful company. He purchased the company almost 15 years ago. It was a successful company, but he’s been able to double it. For the past 5 years his personal income has annually eclipsed $900,000. A few years it crossed the magic million dollar threshold. He’s settled into a lifestyle that suits him well. The lake house. The modern, contemporary upscale home fully furnished with the nicer things including a state-of-the-art kitchen that would make any chef envious. A stable of nice sports cars and SUVs. Vacations are always out of the country about 3 times a year.

Life is good. But he’s going crazy because he’s scared. The political climate terrifies him. And it doesn’t matter if his candidate is in power or not. He’s mortified about the economy going south. A natural autocrat, this focus drives him to even new heights (or lows) of micro-management. The employees are stifled. Choked to death by an owner who can never be satisfied. He thinks he’s hard charging and these people – his employees – don’t understand.

Can you see his story? The one he’s written in his head?

Sure, many of us can see it when it’s not us. Within half a day of hanging around with him to survey things, I’m able to see dollars hitting the floor that he doesn’t see. Cracks are abundant. Solid sales growth prevents them from being burdensome. Making them invisible. And the story he’s written – along with the one he’s now writing – are calling his attention to a laundry list of things that drive him crazy. Things he admits that have always driven him crazy.

“Why haven’t you solved them already?” I ask. He launches into a 30 minute calm tirade about employees, particularly manager he’s had and still has.

He has a view that makes it all appear as he sees it. I know better than to try to persuade him otherwise. Life taught me the futility of that. Mostly, I do what I do…ask questions, trying to provoke insights.

I try to focus attention on a couple of areas where I can see room for big improvements. Things that will generate considerable profit improvements. They’re operational things — the kind of things that leap out to a guy like me, a lifelong operator. He doesn’t quickly embrace the ideas arguing why they’ll be too hard to implement and maintain. I don’t much care about the degree of difficulty because this isn’t a diving competition or a gymnastic routine. This is business. No trophies are coming because what we attempted was too hard. There’s money at stake. Real money.

So I decide to make it more personal. He’s shared his income details with me. I craft a spreadsheet and show him what doing this hard work will mean to him. Personally. It’s over $600,000 a year. He’s staring at a 60-70% increase in his already sizable income. And an outline of how that hard work can be accomplished.

This isn’t pie-in-the-sky “wouldn’t it be great if” kind of stuff. This is a one page document of how to fix a costly problem, one he’s been fighting (well, that’s an overstatement) for as long as he can remember…coupled with a spreadsheet of how the numbers will stack up after a year. Talk about hard data…well, it’s evidently too hard because he’s not embracing it. I’m puzzled. Really puzzled. Not by the disbelief so much as by the sheer lack of optimism to even give it a try.

We talk it. We talk about it some more. He offers many reasons why it won’t work. I alter tactics. Shifting gears to more of a “let’s assume it doesn’t work at all, what do we risk?” approach. Nope. That won’t work either.

Welcome to the world of being stuck.

The numbers shocked me. Shocked me that they didn’t shock him.

I challenged. I pushed. Not too hard at first. Harder later. He was paralyzed by fear. Fear of changing things. Fear of conquering problems that might create new problems, less familiar ones. Fear of finding new heights of financial success perhaps. Okay, he’s human. Join the rest of us. We’re all scared of something. It’s less about conquering fear and maybe more about being able to shove it out of the way long enough to grow and improve.

I failed.

I failed to help him because he didn’t want to shove the fear aside. Not even long enough to see if it might work out. The devil you know is often more comfortable than the one you don’t.

This is mental health and fitness of a business mind. It’s the necessity to see business challenges and opportunities as they really are. It’s not letting the story in our head force us to see boogie men in the shadows – boogie men who don’t even exist. But we see them. We know they’re there. Our story only fits if we see them. Remove the boogie men and our story is no longer our story. Now it’s a different story.

What I Know To Be True

It’s not a story at all. It’s an interpretation. It’s our mind ascribing some meaning to something or somebody. A meaning that isn’t necessarily true…except in our mind. That makes it completely true for us.

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”   -Henry Ford

Henry Ford was making a bold statement to let others around him know that one of the primary keys to getting what you want is believing that you can have it. It’s harder for some. Likely difficult for almost all of us. Maybe for you it’s in some narrow specific area. That seemed the case for the business owner. He was ridiculously confident in nearly every area of life, even joking about how he often felt like the smartest guy in the room. But I don’t think it was much of a joke. I think he meant it.

Fear blinded him to what was possible though. He couldn’t see it. He didn’t think it was possible. Convinced it wasn’t possible. Or that it was too hard and even if he could do it, it wouldn’t stick. So he never tried.

Head trash has a real cost. Not just dollars, but in pain of a persisting problem. The pain of fighting something almost daily for years. Just because we’re convinced that it is how it is, and that’s how it will always be. We live in ways to insure we’re correct.

I’d rather be wrong, wouldn’t you?

Grab yourself, turn it upside down and shake the magic screen of your mind.

We Make It Harder Than It Has To Be

Make no mistake. It’s hard. Sometimes ridiculously hard. No matter, we’re making it even harder.

Enter the power of a group. Sad to say I wasn’t able to connect the business owner with other voices that might be able to nudge him out of his stuck place, but I’ve done it in other circumstances with different people.

Our parents knew it was true – if we had friends who were trouble, we’d likely end up in trouble. It’s true of CEOs and business owners, too. There’s a reason why peers are important. We’ll listen to them. Be influenced by them. Care more about their opinion and viewpoint. Put a group of high school kids in a group and they’ll influence each other more than any teacher or adult. Put a group of business owners in a group and the same magic happens.

The magic happens largely in the mind of those in the group. Collectively and individually minds change, grow and expand. We realize that how we see things isn’t necessarily how others see them. First, we may be amazed. Then we’re open to understand the reality we’ve crafted isn’t reality at all. It’s just a point of view. One that may be the hurdle holding us back.

What’s holding you back? I don’t know you. I don’t know your business. I don’t know where you’re located. But I don’t have to know any of that to know the answer. It’s YOU. You’ve got a narrative in your brain, one you’ve created. You think – you’re even convinced – it’s serving you well. But until you can gain some other perspectives, some viewpoints that are different than those you currently hold, you’re stuck with the business problems. You’re limited with the opportunities you currently see.

But what about the things you don’t see? What of the opportunities that may be in plain sight to others? Like adding 60-70% more to your personal income?

Don’t sweat it. You’ll never miss it because you can’t see it anyway. Right?

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I refer to this video in today’s show. It’s an important lesson.

Week 2 went about as planned. Here are the highlights:

• I’m using Linkedin to reach prospect either by requesting connection, with an explanation of why (I’m not using bait ‘n switch – I’m completely candid with them about why I’m trying to connect), or I’m using Linkedin to reach out to existing connections

• I’m using email some (I plan on increasing this in week 3).

• My goal is to have phone conversations with 10% of the people I contact or connect with. So if I can reach 20 or 30 people electronically, I want to have at least 2 or 3 phone conversations.

• I’m not selling. At all. At any point. People are going to want in, or they’re not. Either way is fine.

Stay tuned for week 3.

Subscribe to the podcast

To subscribe, please use the links below:

• Click Here to Subscribe via iTunes
• Click Here to Subscribe via RSS (non-iTunes feed)
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If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking Review on iTunes. It’ll help the show rank better in iTunes.

Thank you!

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Interview 10 business owners and you may get 10 different answers. Or 8. Maybe 5. You won’t get one.

Owners talk of cash flow, sales slumps, competitive pressures, shortages in finding qualified employees, price pressures, government regulations, industry disruptions, profit margin erosion and more. Dive a bit deeper and every owner will likely tell you that their answer will change. Today’s answer to, “What’s your biggest problem?” won’t necessarily be tomorrow’s answer. “It depends.”

Business leaders are rarely in unison on their biggest problem. Most are thinking more micro than macro. Trees versus forest stuff.

It’s understandable. Business owners are deep in their business every day. Eating, drinking and sleeping (or losing sleep) with their company’s issues. It’s natural to think about our biggest problems in specifics.

Business is really much simpler, at least when we distill what it really consists of. It’s not easy to pull it off.

Getting new customers, serving customers better and not going crazy in the process. Those are the 3 aspects of successful business building.

The actions that make those possible are also rather simple to distill: make the best decision possible in the moment, execute that decision accurately and be quick about it. Another 3-some. But roll it all into one big thing and you’ve got what is your biggest problem to be solved.

If your business doesn’t grow and start making better decisions, prompting more accurate execution of those decisions (with speed), then you’ll continue to experience all those other issues. They’ll parade through your office from now on until and unless you solve this major problem in your company.

At the heart of it is building an organization, something not every business owner understands (or knows how to do). Too many small business owners are as Michael Gerber pointed out years ago…they’re technicians, able to do the work. Hiring, training and delegating others to perform the work at a high level is often daunting for small business owners.

Add to it the “it’s-my-baby” factor and it can be a tall order for any owner to let go of the reins a bit. But growth demands it. Growth demands a learning organization be assembled and empowered to act with speed.

Focus on the problem that is likely the cause of the other problems. Stop concentrating on the trees when the forest is under attack. Think bigger. Pull back and gain some perspective on what ails you.

Making The Best Decision Possible In The Moment

Owners will often say they know exactly what they need to do and how to do it, but they just can’t make meaningful progress to get it done. It’s a recipe for extreme frustration. To think you know, but to be unable to get it done.

As businesses grow it’s more difficult to communicate effectively throughout the company. Those messages you could quickly communicate with your small team when you started…they’re much harder to properly convey now that you’ve got 100 employees. Or 20. The result is that many employees have no idea where you’re going, or what their direct contribution should be. Nobody is measuring the things that let everybody know if they’re on track or not.

That’s why owners often use phrases like “chasing our tail” or “putting out fires.” Our views change over time. If you’re 25 you have a very different view of things than if you’re 45. Your perspective is different. So are your priorities. And your goals. Problems look different depending on your viewpoint. That’s why I continually focus clients on first things first – making the best decision in real-time. That’s where it starts, but it’s just the beginning.

Great decisions are meaningless without accurate execution. We’ve all made good decisions only to have them fail at execution. Even though some argue that a poor decision expertly executed trumps a wise decision poorly executed — that sounds good, but it’s just not true. And it presupposes that you can get it all fixed. Which is the plight of so many small business owners. They lament that the current state is simply how it is. And how it will always be. WRONG.

There is a better way.

Speed is the single biggest weapon of small business versus larger business. Small, agile companies should be able to be more highly maneuverable than larger enterprises. Yet increasingly, I’m finding small businesses surrendering that advantage because they’re fearful of making the decision. Further evidence that this is the single biggest problem facing small business owners. And yes, I’m still lumping all 3 actions into one big action required for successful business building: make the best decision possible in the moment, execute that decision accurately and be quick about it.

Why do you get stuck making a decision? I’ve uncovered many reasons. This is where it can get quite individual with an owner. In some cases the owner must have the best ideas leaving the team unable to make a decision without jumping through the necessary hoops to help the owner feel like it’s her decisions. Sometimes the owner is just indecisive, leading the team to behave in similar fashion. Often times the owner puts so much pressure on the decision that it drives up fear, paralyzing the team to move forward.

Can you get it right more often than not? Will this decision’s outcome put the company at risk? Will we be able to recover if we get it wrong?

When I ask a business owners, “When was the last time you made a decision that put the company at big risk?” most look up at the ceiling trying to think of a time. Minutes later they’ll admit, “I can’t remember.” Probably because those decisions are few and far between. Rare.

Probing further I’ll ask, “Give me an example of a decision you made that you couldn’t fix?” Same result most of the time. Or they’ll talk about a 5-year or 10-year lease they signed. Or some large piece of equipment they purchased. But even then they’ll admit that those things can likely be worked out if they’re not perfect. Leases can often be re-negotiated. Equipment can be sold, or returned. Inventory can be sold or moved sideways to some other company.

Armed with these truths, it’s evident that sometimes we’re putting too much pressure on a single decision. I’m not urging you to make decisions without proper thought or debate. I’m urging you to let speed play a major role though. Otherwise you lose a big competitive edge.

Bula Network Owners’ Alliance is all about helping small business owners avoid going crazy in the process of building and growing their business. Yes, sometimes it’s about getting new customers. Sometimes it’s about serving customers better. But it’s always about not going crazy in the process. And the way we accomplish that is by concentrating on this single biggest business problem: make the best decision possible in the moment, execute that decision accurately and be quick about it.

Like a golfer or baseball player or just about any other athletic endeavor, you don’t have to be perfect to be great. You just have to get it more right than not…more often. Consistently get it closer to right and you’ll be a winner.

Again, easy to talk about. More difficult to do it.

That’s why surrounding yourself with like-minded business owners who are also committed to it can make all the difference. If I can begin to make better decisions because others around me are asking me hard questions, and questioning my answers then I’m going to make better decisions. I’m not going to have to wait until I’ve got some historical perspective to realize, “Man, I should have done this instead.” No, with others helping me think it through in real-time I can get it more right more often. It’s the foundation of solving my biggest business problem.

Then if I’m surrounded by people who help me plan the execution of that decision, and people who encourage and inspire me to be courageous in incorporating accountability for the desired outcome…well, I’m so far ahead of my competitors they won’t be able to catch me. Because armed with that kind of help my speed increases. And speed kills the competition. It kills in the market. Nothing beats speed when it’s on target.

Stop chasing your tail.

Stop working on the same problems you were working on last year.

Stop staying awake at night fretting over what to do.

Take control of your circumstance. Surround yourself with other business owners who can help you solve this biggest problem – the biggest problem facing every business owner.

Make the best decision possible in the moment, execute that decision accurately and be quick about it.

Solve that problem and you’ll solve your other problems. Quit focusing on the wrong things. Instead, make up your mind that today the madness stops. You’re going to stop going crazy because crazy doesn’t work well in problem solving.

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To subscribe, please use the links below:

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:53 — 36.1MB)

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In 2004 my wife and I went to visit an elderly gentleman friend in the hospital. He had suffered ill health for a few years and once again found himself in the hospital. His wife had served him well, battling the healthcare system of the Veterans Administration. Her health was beginning to show the signs of wear.

After our visit we walked down to the parking lot to our car. As we got in the car I had an epiphany. I looked at her and said, “I don’t think I can do that to you.” It was an awful indictment of our friend, but I didn’t mean it like that. Fact was, his health issues mostly had nothing to do with abuse or neglect. He wasn’t responsible so much for his poor health. My comment wasn’t meant to reflect poorly on his character…but more on my realization that IF I could better manage my health, then I felt I owed that to my wife. At the time we had been married 26 years. I suppose mortality was beginning to be more and more on my radar.

It had been years since I had taken my fitness seriously. But the wellness revolution was in full swing. Evidence of it was everywhere. Back in 1977 is had hit American society in a big way with Jim Fixx’s book, The Complete Book of Running. Ten years before publishing that book Fixx had been very overweight and smoked…a lot. But he took up running, took his health more seriously and created – almost singlehandedly – an exercise revolution. These were the days before you’d see lots of people out jogging, or cycling, or even walking. Sadly, Jim Fixx died at 52 of a heart attack. Proof I suppose that the gene pool is largely responsible for our health outcomes. But American society would see a major shift. A revolution.

Today, fitness chains are everywhere. Here in the DFW area we’ve got all the usual suspects like L.A. Fitness, Gold’s Gym, 24 Hour Fitness and more. Even in the foulest weather you’ll spot runners, walkers and cyclists. Then, the food revolution hit. Enter Whole Foods and other grocery stores specializing in healthier food choices. Today gluten-free, fat-free, sugar-free and every form of free has invaded the grocery aisle.

This is all positive. Mostly. I mean how can you argue with focus – or a renewed focus – on our physical health?

About a week after I told my wife that I didn’t think I could do that to her I joined 24 Hour Fitness. And I’ve mostly gone 5 times weekly ever since. It may not look like it, but deep down I feel very fit. 😉 Okay, not so much, but I’m putting in the work to make good on what I told her. The wellness revolution started happening in my life and I don’t see it stopping any time soon. This is a revolution with no end.

I See The Mental Revolution Needs To Happen

Sometime in the 80’s I started noticing friends struggling. It was shocking because we were all still young. Too young to be hospitalized with stress induced physical problems. And worse. Some even figured the way out was to end their life. Before this, the only people I knew who took their life were idiot teenagers who dropped too much acid. That was rare where I lived, but it did happen once in a blue moon. Now, here I was at the helm of a business, still in my 20’s and I was seeing a toll. The pressures of building a business, growing a business and successfully operating a business were causing people to go crazy. It wasn’t a medical or psychological diagnosis. It was just street lingo for pressure – consistently exerted over prolonged periods – causing people I knew to crack, physically – mentally – and emotionally.

I know it’s sexy to be called an “entrepreneur,” but I’m going to burst your bubble. I’m not an entrepreneur. Back in the 80’s I didn’t know any. I knew plenty of business people. I knew plenty of business owners. It wasn’t sexy or glamorous. It was grueling. A life sentence of devoting your life to days that blended into each other because no sooner did you get home until it was time to go back. We often wondered why bother…then we realized it was because there were no showers at work. You gave up a lot to be an operator. And I was an operator. A roll-up-your-sleeves-get-the-job-done kinda guy. Nothing glorious about it.

But these were the days before the Internet or the business press. Well, Fortune, Forbes and BusinessWeek existed, but they covered Wall Street kind of businesses. Not Main Street kind, which is what we were. Shoot, In Search Of Excellence was published in 1982 and thanks to authors Tom Peters and Robert Waterman, business books became mainstream and somewhat cool. Prior to that you’d have been hard pressed to find a section in the bookstore called, “Business.” And if there was one, it was dominated by books on selling, thanks largely to the insurance industry, which spawned all the best sales advice at the time. You were just as likely to find something worthwhile in the “Self-Help” section.

And that’s exactly what we seemed to need — HELP.

Unfortunately, helping ourselves wasn’t so easy. In spite of what the gurus of the 80’s preached, we were business guys (sorry, we were mostly guys back then…thankfully that’s changed and now women also enjoy the pain of business). Nobody was interested in feel-good-philosophy. We were busy. We were young. Resilient. We could take it. We could take anything.

We were foolish. Ignorant. Not knowing any better.

Not realizing that our mental health was being fractured by the stress that drove us. I know. I was a – and still am – a stress junkie. Thriving on the chaos of operating a business is an adrenaline rush that fuels us. It was worse back then. Probably because I was younger. And more foolish than I am now.

How can you know when it’s TOO MUCH stress? I couldn’t. Non-business type friends couldn’t understand the drive. Or the pursuit of more pressure. Greater challenges. Higher accomplishments. And I was operating in the small business world running a small chain of retail stores doing about $14 million. No matter. I was also in my 20’s and I may as well have been at the helm of General Motors. All the same to me.

Working 80-100 hours a week. Too many days living on Twix bars and Dr. Peppers. Thankfully, my religious convictions prevented me from drinking alcohol, smoking, doing drugs or having an affair – all the common behaviors of too many people I knew. They convinced themselves they deserved whatever vices they took up. Because of their hard work. Because of their success. Or their failure. I never bought into that. Again, my faith kept me grounded, along with my wife and two little kids. Not a single hour passed that I wasn’t driven by the three people who meant the most to me.

But that also took a toll. I was more often in the doghouse at home than not. Missed supper dates. Last minute cancellations. Late nights at work. The typical crap that goes with being a good operator. Which is what I still suppose I am. I’m not an entrepreneur. I don’t even like the word, but it’s in vogue so who am I to resist? We were business people. Period. Doing the best we could. Sometimes failing. Sometimes not. But always like a dog chasing a car. Never satisfied because the game just kept on moving.

Until something stopped us. A health scare. A fainting spell. A heart attack. A stroke. Exhaustion. Mental collapse.

Then it all got very real. Very fast.

I’ve seen it up close and personal too often.

About 6 years ago I began to see a real need. The need for business people – owners, CEOs, Presidents, leaders and executives – to take their lives more seriously. I’ve told more people this one thing than any other thing in the past 6 years. “You’re a finite resource. You’ve got limits. You’d better get busy knowing what they are so you can take better care of yourself.”

Mostly, people (clients) hear me, but don’t change. Some do. Most don’t. People who are unwilling to help themselves can’t be helped. Hence, I’ve come to put greater stock in that book category, “Self-Help.” It’s not that you have to go it alone, but if you’re not willing to help yourself…nobody is going to be able to help you.

The Mental Revolution Has Never Been Needed More Than Right Now

The Internet has made entrepreneurship sexy and desirable. Forget that most will fail. And many will fail big losing everything they have, and owing large sums of money. Forget that Snapchat lost over $500 million last year. Just focus on that mythical valuation of $22 BILLION. Besides, it’s other people’s money they’re losing. Real money costing other people.

I could vomit every time I hear some kid talk about losing money and failing at a business as though it’s a rite of passage. Something every modern entrepreneur must do to earn their stripes. The stripes they ought to earn are the whipping they should take from every investor who lost a single dollar betting on them. Many feel it’s the education they deserve. Those Snapchat kids ought to be earning double PhD’s by now.

Real business is hard. Exhilarating for the right people, but hard. The focus and intensity required by the market – I don’t care if it was yesterday’s market or today’s – is always demanding. And the market makes winners or losers of us all. It’s not a life for the timid. And for the stress junkies it’s home. But grow too comfortable with it and it’ll eat your heart and take your mind.

It just doesn’t have to be that way. Fact is, it should NOT be that way. The people who make the economy roll deserve better. YOU deserve better. Business owners and leaders deserve better!

For 6 years I’ve held these thoughts more closely than I should have. Mostly because they’re not yet popular, but I’m convinced they will be. Eventually. After enough people commit suicide. Or after enough people drop dead of heart attacks. Or after enough marriages end in divorce. Or after enough kids endure repeated stints in rehab. Something bad will happen to you if you don’t take care of your mind. Then you’ll listen. Then you’ll pay attention. And it’ll be too late to fix whatever bad thing caused you to finally get a grip. That thing you can’t see right now will suddenly become crystal clear like one of that pictures with a hidden word or image that you have to squint to see. You’ll see it some day. Unable to take your eye off of it you’ll wish you’d seen it sooner. So will I.

Your life. Your family. Your company. Your employees. Your customers. Your partners (whether they’re vendors, suppliers or some other kind of partner). They all hinge on YOU because you’re the business owner. Specifically, you’re the small business owner. That’s where my heart is because that’s where I’ve spent my life. Companies that likely do under $50 million a year, don’t have a big org chart and are in the trenches fighting the fight every single day! Oh, I’ve seen some that are doing a few hundred million dollars a year who fit the bill. It’s still small business.

Not operating on other people’s money. Not listed on Wall Street. Not hobnobbing with the Boston Consulting Group or the kids from McKinsey & Company. Just guys and gals putting in the work. Making payroll again this week. Making another sale. And another. Buying a new truck or forklift. Leasing a new warehouse space. Hiring a new web design outfit. Pumping millions of dollars every year into an economy while other people whine and moan about who is in the White House. We’re operators. Our lives don’t hang in the balance because of some politician. Sure we care, but only because they get in our way of making money – and growing a business! We’re capitalist who want to make something happen. Something we believe in. Something worthwhile.

And all that imposes more pressure on us. Happily so. Pile it on, we say. We’ve got broad shoulders.

It’s got nothing to with strength. Or resolve. We’re mortal. Vulnerable to prolonged and/or extraordinary pressures. Even the kind we mostly relish.

Business people are like the professional athletes of a bygone era who suffered concussions. We refuse to acknowledge our injury fearful somebody else may replace us, or fearful others will think we’re weak. Cowardly even. So we hide our loneliness, fear and anxiety. When asked how things are going we’ll always reply, “Fine.” Many of us grew up to the mantra, “Never let ’em see you sweat.” We’ve lived that way always. It’s hard to change, but not impossible.

Why You Need To Pay Closer Attention To Your Mental Fitness

Every business owner – every business leader – is really paid for one fundamental thing. To solve problems.

In solving the problems I focus my work on three specific areas: 1) making better decisions, 2) executing improved actions and 3) doing both of those faster (preferably in real-time). It begins with improving our ability to make the wisest choice in real-time. Guess what helps that? Mental fitness.

Fatigue, fear, loneliness and anxiety are among just a few things that hamper improved decision making. Do you really think you’re going to make your best decision – do your best at problem-solving – when any of these emotions are prevalent in your life? Then why do you do it?

Because you’re paid to solve problems.

Because you’re afraid. Afraid to be vulnerable, and fearful of letting employees or anybody else see you as weak. It’s head trash. Your head trash that’s standing in the way of your improved mental fitness.

When we’re facing a business problem we commonly ask ourselves, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” I’m encouraging you to ask yourself that same question when it comes to your own mental and emotional fitness. Ignore the problems, the stresses and all the other issues confronting you and the worst thing that can happen is you crash and burn. You won’t be operating at your best. Face the problems, admit them and be open to letting others help you and you’ll find yourself relieved, supported and feeling more confident.

Question: Which version of you would you want to hire?

Then why are you resisting help?

You’ll dispatch all kinds of resources to solve much smaller problems, but you’ll ignore yourself as the owner or chief leader.

Isolation.

That’s the big culprit. It fuels our fears. Anxiety is elevated. Stress builds.

Peer advantage and peer disadvantage are things our parents understood. That’s why we were urged to have good friends and hang with kids who were well-behaved, got good grades, were committed to sports or whatever else our parents valued. Those kids at school who consistently got in trouble all hung together. It all seemed and was so cliquish. But we were learning, even as kids, that we tended to behave and perform like the people around us. The troublemakers didn’t make good grades and got in trouble more often than others. The Honor Society kids did well and were highly regarded by faculty. The best athletes were friends and stuck together on and off the field. We mostly met the standard established by our group.

Enter the business world and we suddenly think we can go it alone? Or that who we surround ourselves with doesn’t matter so much?

Of course it matters. And no, we can’t go it alone – not if we want to be a high performer!

Enter the problem, even if you want to surround yourself with people who can help.

HOW?

Not that there’s anything typical about business people getting together because there are breakfast meetings, association meetings, Meet Ups, networking events, social events, Chamber events…we have more opportunities to get out and about than ever before. But these are very different than being surrounded by people who only want one thing – to help each other improve their mental and emotional fitness by becoming better decision makers, better action takers and faster at all of it.

It’s common to encounter a CEO or business owner who has an informal board. Sometimes board members have invested money in the enterprise. Sometimes not. Often times these board members have their own business, but they almost always have some vested interest in the company. They’re on the board because of some other relationship with the company or the owner.

Business owners can have an employee-based inner circle. Maybe it’s a VP or a CFO. Maybe it’s a handful of people in key positions. Good people. Hopefully, rockstars in their own right. But again, they have a relationship with the owner or CEO. She’s the boss. Their careers are somewhat in her hands.

Associations, especially industry associations, surround us with people just like us. Folks in the same industry, reading the same trade rags, whining about the same industry woes and generally sharing the same outlook about whatever space we occupy.

Now you’re beginning to understand the problem of eliminating the isolation. You can easily remedy the social isolation, but that’s not going to help you improve your mental and emotional fitness to grow your business. There’s a big difference in feeling better and getting better. Growth isn’t always pleasant, but it’s rewarding.

To each his own.

I’m not pompous enough to tell you there’s a single solution for everybody. I think there are solutions that any of us can apply. And some may be more universal than others.

Purpose. That’s the foundational issue when we’re looking to solve our isolation and grow as owners. Growing our business is so important to us. It should be.

Just ask yourself why this group or event is happening? Look past the surface answer. Sometimes it appears to be instructional, but really it’s about selling attendees. Sometimes it pretends to be educational, but instead it’s promotional. Sometimes it’s a broaden your network, but really it’s people hawking their products or services. We’re in a world of platform performers speaking 45 minutes so they can spend 2 hours selling books or courses at the back of the room once the presentation is over.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that. It’s just the way the world works, smoke and mirrors. Bait, then switch.

How can you find a remedy with a purer purpose? By making sure you surround yourself with people whose primary focus is in helping you grow your business…and in helping you grow as a leader.

I’m forming a very small group – just 7 business owners from around North America – expressly for that purpose. To help each member grow their business. And to help each member grow as a leader. It’s about helping each other make better decisions and take more meaningful actions. It’s called the Bula Network Owners’ Alliance.

There’s a reason support groups are so popular. Because they’re effective. If you’re scared, get over it. Put yourself in the best position possible to experience greater success. Surround yourself with people willing to help you. Then allow yourself to be helped. That may be the toughest ask of all for some of you. Find the strength and courage (and humility) necessary to accept help. It’s also one of the best paths toward helping others, too.

The mental wellness revolution is coming. It’s already started, but it needs more fuel…more people willing to join. It’s a 2-way street of helping and being helped. You need to be part of it because there’s nothing you can do for yourself and your business that will be more valuable.

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A common thought is that our scope of knowledge, experience and wisdom is commonplace. We can easily discount our assets, especially as we grow older.

According to a Government Accountability Office report, “Older Workers: Demographic Trends Post Challenges for Employers and Workers” –

The term baby boomer describes people born between 1946 and 1964. The baby boomers were part of the post-World War II spike in birth rates. In 1900, thirteen percent of the population was age 50 and over. In 2002, it was over twenty-seven percent. By 2020, it will be over thirty-five percent. The size of the 50 plus population will more than double in the next 35 years. Our nation faces a demographic revolution as 78 million boomers enter their retirement years. A baby boomer turns 60 every 7.5 seconds. This demographic shift will result in tremendous changes in the workplace, civic organization and healthcare.

“According to Census Bureau estimates, in 2019, when the last of the baby boomers (those born between 1949 and 1964) have reached age 55, nearly twenty-nine percent of the total United States population will be age 55 and older, compared with twenty-one percent today.”

Because the Internet is so pervasive older Americans can sometimes feel left behind both technologically and socially. And that has ramifications in business. Specifically, more mature people – people over 50 – can feel trapped and stuck.

Today’s Q&A is among the more common things I hear among more experienced business people. And the shift seems to be going down to lower ages, too. Recently, I was talking with a business leader who was 46 and beginning to feel that it was too late for him to shift or transition into a different opportunity. Forty-six and over the hill! It’s a real feeling. Even a belief for some.

When I’m asked if somebody is too old to start something new it’s in reference to business. Whether it’s a career move – finding another job – or starting a new enterprise, the fear is real. It can be hard, sometimes impossible, to convince a person with over 30 years of solid professional experience that they have tremendous value that can be leveraged. If they don’t believe it, it doesn’t much matter how strong my faith is.

I’m not addressing a person’s ability to start learning something new. I’m confident that people who have sufficient physical and mental health can learn something new until they die. And the Internet affords people an opportunity to consider small scale or larger home-based enterprises that can generate some income. But I’m biased. I don’t believe in retirement. I don’t plan on ever wanting, or being able (emotionally or mentally) to ever retire. So with that bit of background let’s talk about this question, “Am I too old to start something new?”

NO. You aren’t. Unless you think you are!

The Henry Ford quote has already leapt to your mind by now…

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”

But let’s put that aside for the moment and talk about the practical realities of today’s post-50 year old who fears their business life is over. Here are the common things I hear so I want to address each of them in hopes it’ll hit you where you live if you’re finding yourself fearing these things.

“The technology has passed me by.”

That’s a self-inflicted wound. I’m tired of hearing people, even folks in their 40’s lament that web-based technology in particular has them baffled. “I don’t understand all this social media stuff,” is among the most common things I hear. It’s largely why I’m recording this episode. Because I’m tired of hearing it and tired of trying to talk people off the ledge about this.

It’s rubbish. If technology has passed you by it’s your own fault. Stop whining about it and do something about it. Don’t tell me you were able to run a multi-million dollar budget, or operate a multi-million dollar division of a company, but you’re too stupid to learn how to function in a world where the web rules everything! It’s how life is now…and how it’s going to be. If you don’t get on board now, just wait until augmented reality (AR) or virtual reality (VR) hit bigtime in the next five to ten years. You’re lost because you choose to be lost. You’re behind because you made up your mind that spending time learning this stuff wasn’t worth it.

Nobody is going to feel sorry for you. Nobody is going to be patient with your refusal to get on board. Dig a hole in your backyard and jump in if you want. OR, make up your mind right now that you’re going to devote some time (just a few hours here and there consistently over time) to learn all you can.

Do you remember the fax machines that had that thermal paper? Sure you do. You filed those papers away and months later you went to retrieve a fax and found a blank piece of thermal paper because the image completely faded away. I’ll bet you did what I learned to do – what we all learned to do. You photocopied the fax. Imagine that today! We PHOTOCOPIED a fax! It was the only way to keep the fax intact for our files.

Then, the plain paper fax arrived and we thought, “BRILLIANT!” Now we can stop photocopying our faxes. These were the days of pagers, too.

When cell phones first arrived they were bag phones, large – bulky – expensive. When they became affordable we ditched our pagers and got on board.

We also sold our turntables and got CD players. We got cable TV and VCRs. We’ve seen a lot of technology changes long before the Internet arrived.

Why are you intimidated by web-based tech? Think about all the tech you’ve embraced and mastered. You’ve got a lifetime of adapting, adjusting and learning. Stop convincing yourself that now – at whatever age you are – it’s all passed you buy. Rubbish!

We can learn whatever we want to learn. Especially the things we’re talking about. I’m not trying to convince you to learn quantum physics. It’s the Internet and you’re likely just romanticizing life before. Stop it. That life is over. It’s not coming back. And you don’t want it to, either.

Mostly I hear people complain about social media when we talk about the Internet. Or smart phones. But put me in a room of older business people and I promise every hand will go up if I ask, “Who has a Facebook profile?” or “Who has an iPhone or some other phone that has apps on it?” Every single hand. I know 80 year old business people who have both. Proof that we can learn these things enough to incorporate them into our lives.

It’s not a capacity issue as much as it’s a bitterness issue. People act like they hate the world is today. Some honestly do hate it. They’re being stubborn and hard headed. Look in the mirror and remember how your grandfather lamented how the kids today have gone to the dogs. Congrats, you’re now him! 😉

The irony is that today’s 60 year old is behaving significantly younger than any previous generation of 60 year olds. Today’s 60 is yesterday’s 40 thanks in large part to technology. That smart phone in your pocket has more computing power than those Apollo missions that went to the moon. But you’re still in love with the notion of life before we all had them? Don’t be stupid. Stop being stupid.

Here’s the remedy. Clear your head from the prejudices and romantic notions and be thankful that you’re alive in an age where our possibilities are almost limitless. Show some gratitude you old fart. Quit magnifying the difficulties or challenges and start looking at the opportunities. First, the opportunity to learn.

Here’s an idea. Do you have kids (or grandkids)? Spend time with them talking about how they use the Internet. Tell them you want to learn. Ask them to teach you. Don’t judge. Don’t tell them how stupid they are to spend hours a week on Instagram or Snapchat. Just listen, observe, watch and learn.

It’s just communication, conversation and engagement. That’s all. It’s no different than what you used to do when a new neighbor moved into that house a few doors down. You went over, introduced yourself and began the process of getting to know them. Today, much of that is done via another online app called Nextdoor. It’s all about connection, conversation and engagement. It’s just done on a mobile device using an app and a platform that easily connects you to the people you most want to engage. Yes, you have to want to engage. So if you want to be a hermit, then stop reading or listening and go find your cave. But if you want out of the cave, come out here where the people are. Nothing bad will happen to you.

Yes, it takes some time. But the cumulative time you spend will pay off quickly. A few hours a week will provide you the education you need. Within just a few weeks you’ll be well on your way. Proof that it’s not too late to start something new. And yes, it’ll have practical application to your career and business pursuits.

If you want to go fishing you first have to know where the fish are. Well, the people are online. Moan and groan about it or get with the program and meet them where they are. Your choice.

“Nobody wants me. I’m too old.”

First of all, that may not be true. And even if it is, that doesn’t mean your options are limited.

Get out of your head and stop bemoaning how you’re no longer valuable. A common refrain among mature business people is the feeling that they’ve spent their life learning about business, they have skills, experience and wisdom — and they still have energy and drive. Many of them feel they’re in their prime, but they see a world they (incorrectly) think is dominated by 20 year olds.

There’s no doubt that young people today – many of them – have mad skills in technical and non-technical spaces. But what many of them lack is what mature people have in spades, emotional intelligence. The ability to be part of a team working together to accomplish something none of them could individually. Mature people have patience often lacking in younger people. Mature people experience far less drama about interpersonal situations in the workplace, too. And many mature business people are well-rounded having spent their lives dealing with a variety of business challenges. Got an HR problem? They likely have seen it before. Got an operational issue? Ditto, they likely have a wealth of experience from which to draw from.

Here’s the problem. Mature business people, those who’ve been “transitioned” out of a previous role, have lost their confidence. They’ve spent years solving a variety of problems. I regularly find mature business people who are quite skilled at approaching a problem in very effective ways because they’ve seen so many challenges before. But now they feel that their knowledge, skill, experience and wisdom is commonplace. But it’s not true.

We live in our head and know what we know. That makes it tempting to think everybody has whatever we’ve got. Until you stop to soberly consider your life experiences, in and out of the workplaces you’ve occupied, and all the business issues you’ve faced…it’s easy to discount yourself. Stop it. These are assets you’ve spent a lifetime earning. Now is the time to leverage those resources to serve you.

It’s tantamount to a business owner with some valuable resources diminishing their worth. If you had battled and spent good money getting a patent on something you believed had value, would you toss is aside as worthless? Not likely. But that’s what you’re doing with your life’s experience.

Here’s the hard truth. If you don’t find value in yourself then nobody will see value in you either. You’re toast.

Get over the idiotic generalization that NOBODY wants you. The world is filled with people who don’t want you, or me, or millions of other people. Your value isn’t based on them. Except you’re letting them establish your worth. That’s your fault. And mistake.

Step 1, know yourself. I know, I know. You’d think by now you’d know exactly who you are. Sometimes mature business people are among the most confused people around in this regard. Partly because many of stumbled into our careers because we started doing something when we were young. We spent little or no time diving into such touchy feely things. And now that we’re mature we may be tempted to think it’s a ridiculous exercise. Well, it’s not. It’s critically important for you to get in touch with what you dread. I know people will tell you to find your passion, but I tend to approach it from a reverse perspective because it’s often easier, quicker and more effective. We can easily identify what we dread. It’s much harder for some people to identify what they’re passionate about. Besides, mature business people have likely spent a lot of their life doing things they’re not passionate about because maturity teaches us practicality. I’m betting you’ve done many things in your life, and done them well, but they weren’t passions for you. Nor were they things you dreaded. Dread empties your tank robbing you of energy. So when you’re self-reflecting, I’m urging you to know what you dread and steer clear of those things! While you’re identifying your dread, think about your desire. Desire fuels you. Dread robs you. More of one, less of the other. That’s the recipe.

Step 2, stop diminishing your talent, knowledge, experience and wisdom. That 20 year old may have more talent than you in some things, but he’s not lived as much as you. Your stuff has value. Stop comparing yourself to him. Stop thinking of what you don’t have and concentrate instead on what you do have. Again, it’s time to be grateful for all those struggles you’ve endured.

Let me point out something to illustrate. This resonates with everybody mature business person I know. Think about the economic cycles you’ve experienced during your career. The other day I was talking with a business owner who is slightly older than me. We both remembered days of double-digit inflation, double-digit mortgage interest rates, oil embargoes and more. Business people under 40 don’t remember any of that because they’ve not seen it. Yet.

I’ve not taken the time to calculate the economic cycles I’ve lived through in business, but I know it’s vast. It requires adjustments and problem solving that no mature business person should down play. That’s just one illustration of your value.

Step 3, believe. If you don’t think you’re valuable, then you’re doomed already. I won’t believe in you more than you believe in yourself.

Step 4, open yourself to opportunities. Can you leverage your assets to build something of your own? Of course you can. Brace yourself because it’s gonna get real up in here now. A displaced CEO who once earned nearly $400K a year plus all the perks imaginable now confesses that he’d be perfectly happy – HAPPY – if he could create something sustainable that would garner him about $60K a year…with no benefits. He just wants to do something to contribute and make enough to sustain his current debt-free lifestyle. We chuckle about how he feels like he’s working harder than ever to earn 15% of what he once earned. FIFTEEN PERCENT and he’d be happy! Doable? Of course it is. The man has mad skills and experience. He just has to figure it out and make his own path. I don’t know what that will look like for him because I don’t know what he dreads, or what he really desires.

Stop seeing challenges everywhere you look. Instead, see opportunities, then figure out how to best take advantage of them. That’s what you’ve been used to doing in your career. Except now it’s personal. It’s YOU, INC. I know that makes an enormous difference, often presenting you with a special kind of head trash. If it helps, do what I do. Post a picture of your tribe nearby. My picture has 10 people, not including me: my wife, my son, my daughter, my daughter-in-law, my son-in-law and my five grandkids. Ten people. That’s enough to suppress any head trash if I’ll just remain focused. When I don’t, my inner critic can get the best of me. It’s my job to pull out every MMA move I can and get my inner critic to tap out. Better yet, I want to wrestle my inner critic into submission or knock him out. Find your reason for fighting, then get busy trying to win.

Let me end with one final word of encouragement. Every successful mature business person I’ve ever known has a trump card called “work ethic.” You know nothing beats effort. The discipline you’ve developed to work hard is second nature for you. Embrace it. Don’t undersell it. Just get engaged with the reality of your situation – and your assets – then go make it happen. Refuse to lose and eventually you’ll win. We both know there’s no way to tell how long it will take, but we know we’re on the clock so we have to make the wisest use of every single day. Now get busy!

And let me know how it’s going. I’m here cheering you on.

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When you develop an idea it’s worth nothing until you take some action. That’s the primary thing that separates achievers from the rest of the population. It’s why NDA’s are mostly useless. The odds of anybody stealing your idea are remote. Most people aren’t acting on their own ideas…much less yours.

Doing is the key. Not thinking. Not planning. Not preparing. It doesn’t mean those things aren’t important, but too many people approach them as singular activities happening in a silo. They don’t work like that in real life. Not if we’re going to move forward. They’re more like so many other things in our lives – things like work/life balance, or operating our businesses. Things happen simultaneously. In parallel.

Too often we feel like we have to do things in some special sequence and in isolation. No. That’s what kills us. I’ve let it kill me in the past. Don’t let it keep happening to you.

Knowing Enough

We just have to know enough to know what to do next. Here’s what looks like for this Bula Network group.

One, I know I don’t want to assemble a big group. I want to keep it more intimate and close knit. Seven is a lucky number. And it’s odd, not even. It feels right and who cares if it’s 100% correct or not. It’s enough to provide the diversity I’m looking for. And it’s small enough to form the depth that really matters to me…making the group powerful for every member.

Two, I know I want to get this group together virtually because I don’t want to limit it geographically. There are some practical reasons for that. I don’t want to limit myself to people in my area, even though I live in a major metro area. I don’t want to hassle with scheduling time to get to some location, setting up a room and making sure the logistics are in place for a face-to-face meeting. I don’t want people who are experiencing the identical economy. So this point has both a utility benefit and a value benefit.

Three, I know I want to get this group together in meetings that last no more than 2 hours. For a group this size I know a lot can be accomplished in 2 hours if the preparation is done. And I’m going to be prepared. Additionally, I know with a virtual online group preparation can happen via email, messaging and other tools so we can avoid wasting time when we’re online together. Too much time gets wasted in face-to-face meetings with kicking the ball around, housekeeping details and other nonsense. I’m not going to foster or allow any of that.

Four, I know I want to get this group together at least every 3 weeks. Ideally, I’d like to do it every other week, but I’m flexible depending on what the members want. I know I want a minimum of 16 or 17 meetings each year and a maximum of 24. By the time we get to this detail I’m happy to adjust based on the feedback I get.

Five, I know I want small business owners who operate companies in any space except “sin” industries like porn, nightclubs, tobacco, alcohol or pot. This is a personal choice. I’m not willing to devote myself to helping every business grow. I’m targeting prospective members who own businesses generating $5 to $30 million annually. I prefer to have business owners who are within a more narrow range of revenue because I know the problems of a $5M business are very different from the one doing $30M. I’m purposefully starting out with that broad of a range to see how things go. Again, I’ll adjust as I go. If I find myself connecting with more owners of $10M than $5 or $30, then I’ll concentrate on a more narrow range like $8 to $12M. You get the idea.

Six, I’m only concentrating on owners. The #1. Every seat at the virtual table will be occupied by somebody who can make THE decision. The work is so deep and so powerful, it’ll demand a person who can make a commitment to take action. This is going to be a no excuses group. Anybody who has a board of directors who really run things won’t be welcome to this group. I’m aiming to serve the people who have the entire burden of running the business squarely on their own shoulders!

Seven, I’m going to concentrate from the Central time zone toward the east or west. There’s a four hour time swing from the east coast to the west coast. I don’t want a group where that time swing presents a problem. So I’m going to keep this particular group all Central and Eastern time zone, or all Central, Mountain and Pacific time zones. That’s important for my prospecting. For now, I’m concentrating on the Central time zone since it’s the one I occupy and it includes a large area of the country. I’ll figure things out from there.

Eight, I’m going to use the book, THE POWER OF PEERS, as my template for forming a highly effective group. By now you likely know I’m working with Leo Bottary helping him produce his podcast. Leo is a co-author of that book. In the book, Leo and his co-author Leon Shapiro outline the 5 factors for peer advantage. I’m going to focus intently on these: select the right peers, create a safe environment, utilize a smart guide, foster valuable interaction and be accountable.

For now I’m clearly going to focus on that first factor, select the right peers. Based on the ideas detailed in the book it starts with shared values that matter. Members of the group have to identify with one another. The group is smarter than any individual member. It’s important that every member not just understand it, but that they believe it.

Questions matter. For decades I’ve operated businesses with the knowledge that the quality of our questions determines the quality of our business. Better answers result from better questions. Leaders in this group will be selected based on their belief that they’ll benefit from insightful questions from the group. It’s not just about getting answers to our questions, but it’s about having our answers questioned. Business owners who aren’t completely comfortable and confident in this value aren’t going to be fit for this group.

Owners in every industry share aspirations, dreams, desires, challenges and opportunities. Each industry thinks its challenges are unique. I’m not minimizing that some industries do face special challenges. For instance, some industries are more highly regulated than others. But we’ve all got far more in common than not. We’re just well acquainted with our challenges and pain points. That focus on our own stuff makes us tend to think other industries have it better. Mostly we’re wrong. We just don’t know their problems.

There’s a benefit of reaching across and outside our own industry. It broadens our insights. I think it also helps reduce our sense of isolation as we become more familiar with owners operating businesses completely different than our own.

Families work best when each member is willing to accept responsibility for their own decisions and actions. Things break down every time people hide. Growth happens when we face ourselves and our situation. That means accountability is a very important component of building the most effective group possible.

And like a family, it’s important that we have shared goals. As the authors of the book, THE POWER OF PEERS, point out…if you’re going to run a marathon you’ll do well to surround yourself with others who want to run a marathon. Why surround yourself with people who have no interest in accomplishing what you want to accomplish? We want a group where each member is intent on growing their business and growing themselves.

It’s also important to have shared beliefs. To create a safe, confidential group it’s important that each member believe in open and honest exchange of ideas, opinions and perspectives. It’s not about always agreeing. It’s about respecting the value of sharing without inhibition. I’m a super-fan of candor. This group will embrace the value of candid conversations.

I know that the value is found in helping business owners make better decisions so they can improve the actions they take. It’s about real-time wisdom, the ability to get more right than not at the time. Everybody can look backward with a perspective that shows us how we may have been able to improve our choices. This group aims to help each member make better decisions so everybody can take more impactful actions.

These are all the things I know right now. Plenty, right? Of course.

What About You?

What do you know enough already? Why aren’t you doing something about it? Or at least trying to do something?

There are absolutely no guarantees I’ll succeed. But there aren’t any promises I’ll fail either. All it is is head trash or optimism until I try it and find out. It doesn’t matter what anybody thinks or says. The only thing that matters is that I’m determined to build a powerful group of business owners because I know the return on investment will be enormous for every member, and for the collective. I’m determined to make it so.

Are you waiting to learn more? What?

Are you waiting for somebody to tell you it’s a good idea? Why?

What difference does any of that make? None, but you know that already. Still our head trash gets in our way. We stall because we’re uncomfortable carving out our own way, or because we want somebody else to be happy with us. Deciding. Acting. Those are much more difficult than thinking and dreaming. Or wishing. And hoping.

Don’t think for a second that legitimate business owners – I don’t mean all the wannabe “entrepreneurs” – don’t fall prey to complacency. We can all get stuck. And lonely. Wishing somebody would show up to help us out every now and again.

You’ve got people in your life. Professionally. Employees, vendors, customers, partners, suppliers. Our lives are filled with people looking to us as owners. Well-intended, good people. Some of whom are high performers. But they all expect something from us. They’ve all got an agenda…and it’s perfectly okay. Expected even. It’s how the world works.

The odds are ridiculously high that you’ve never been part of a group like I’ve described because they’re extremely rare. You’ve been in industry groups. That’s not even a first cousin to a truly effective peer group where each member is there solely for the purpose of growing themselves and their business — and for helping the other members do the same. That’s a game changer that is just extremely rare in business owner circles. And it’s why I’m intent on making this happen for 7 business owners. It’ll change their lives.

What are you going to start doing to change lives, especially your own? What are you waiting for? Get busy. Let’s go back to work. We’ve got things to do.

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