Daily Brief

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We’re kids. Somebody has a basketball in their hands. Without warning they use both arms to shove a pass toward me shouting, “Think fast!” If I did (think fast enough), then I’d extend my arms and catch the ball before it hit me in the chest. If I failed (to think fast enough), then I might find myself gasping for breath. And when I caught it, I’d likely go tearing after the guy who hit me. Catch the ball or retaliate. Either way, I win. 😉

That whole “think fast” game we played at kids had value. For starters, always pay attention. You could be blindsided at a moment’s notice, like Cata’s sneak attacks on Inspector Clouseau.

Snappy reflexes help. Snappier decisions drive those reflexes.

When a basketball is coming at you hard from four feet away, there’s no time to ponder. In fact, before my friend has a chance to say, “Think fast” I already am at full throttle to get my hands up to catch the ball.

Have you ever been going along, with some point of view – or some decision you made – and in mere seconds your view changes? Your mind changes? Faster than the snap of your fingers you find yourself deciding something very different. Feeling something different. Thinking something different.

It happened to me about a week ago. The details don’t matter. I started considering this whole speed thing when it comes to making up our mind, or changing our mind, or deciding something, or doing something. Or all of the above.

Recently, much of my work has been focused on things like character, values, and principles. Namely, as it relates to leadership and culture. What we believe determines our character, our values, and our principles. These aren’t static things. That doesn’t mean they change with the wind, but it does mean our experiences, learning, understanding, and growing can adjust them. Usually, that happens gradually and slowly. But not always. It depends on how we’re living.

This college admissions/Wall Street scandal is dominating news lately. Until it hit the fan, these folks, including Hollywood actors and actresses, were living whatever normal might describe their lives. Suddenly, when the FBI knocks on your door, you experience a “think fast” moment. Steve Farber has another name for it, an “Oh-S#@!-Moment” or OSM! for short.

In these cases, I suspect panic ensues in less than 30 seconds. Decisions to call attorneys are likely the only decisions to make. That, and the decision to keep one’s mouth shut.

None of us can argue that lives can be dramatically altered in mere seconds. I often think about the song by Matt Kearney, a Nashville singer-songwriter, “Closer To Love.” We’re all just one phone call from our knees.

Do you suppose the values, character, and principles of any of the indicted people in the college/Wall Street scandal have changed? Well, if they’re guilty of what they’re accused of, I’d hope so. I’d hope seismic shifts have happened for them so they’ll learn, understand and grow. So it goes with values, character, and principles…when we’re behaving badly because those components in our life are poor quality.

Thankfully, I’ve never experienced the FBI knocking at my door, but I have experienced seismic changes in my life brought about by sudden news. Life changing events. Most of us have experienced those.

But I’m talking about changes we make in our own mind. On our own. Meaning, we decided. Not that we did it alone without any input or impetus, but nobody did it for us. Within seconds some shift occurred to change our mind. Within seconds we made a decision that set us on a different path than the one we previously had decided we’d travel.

Think fast.

People often challenge us to go with our first answer. Follow your gut. The same people may also criticize us if we’re too impulsive. Or not thoughtful or intentional enough.

Well, which is it?

It depends. And you know what it depends on. It depends on whether you got it right – as they see it. If your first answer was the right one – meaning, they think it was the right answer – then you should go with that one. If your first answer was the wrong one – meaning, they didn’t agree with it – then you need to give it more thought.

Forget what other people think. Instead, think about what’s right. This is why I’m increasingly fascinated with character, values, and principles. The guiding beliefs behind our decisions and actions are everything. Each of us is going to behave in ways congruent with what we believe. That’s why we often urge our children and young adults in our lives to “guard their heart.” We want them to protect themselves from allowing their character, values and principles to erode. It’s also why we care about who our kids hang around. We want them to be around good humans who embrace the values we prize most.

Thirty seconds to decide is both an exercise and a practical tool.

Watch any true crime show on the Investigation Discovery channel and you’ll see people who within seconds made really bad choices to murder. For reasons I don’t understand, within seconds that seemed like a good decision to them. Mostly, because it reflected the terrible state of their character, values, and principles. So job one is – be a good human being. Be as good as you can possibly be. Embrace honorable beliefs so you’ll serve humanity well.

Think fast – giving yourself 30 seconds to decide – will most likely result in your deciding something that will be congruent with your beliefs. If you need money and your beliefs are those of a good human, then your first thought isn’t going to be to go rob somebody. But if you’re not a good human being, that may very well be your first thought.

That may explain the apparent wisdom (sometimes) of going with your first answer. It’s likely why so many assessments or tests urge the participant to trust their first answer. Your first answer may more properly reflect your true character or personality.

As we enter Friday and the weekend, let me encourage you to consider how quickly you can alter a decision. How quickly you can change your mind. Literally.

What’s the current impediment to your higher success? What’s keeping you from reaching whatever “the next level” is in your leadership or your life? What’s the constraint standing in the way of your company finding the next rung on the ladder of achievement?

Eliminate every answer that is outside of yourself. This will be tough. You’ll want to blame people, capital, opportunities, challenges and whatever else you can. Don’t. I’m not saying those things aren’t real, but I am saying those may not likely be THE thing standing in your way. More likely than not, you – and a decision only you can make – is the hurdle.

What haven’t you decided that you know you should decide if you’re going to move forward? Quick, think fast. Thirty seconds. Make up your mind in the next 30 seconds to change it.

We fool ourselves into thinking we need more time. Maybe we do. Sometimes. But mostly, I’m growing increasingly less sure about that. We need time to figure things out. To learn and understand and grow. To forge relationships where we can serve. And where we can be served. But each of those can begin right now. This very moment.

Like encouragement, decisions can happen in a flash. Earlier this week I was given a handwritten note. The person listens to my hobby podcast, Leaning Toward Wisdom. She listens to this podcast, too – Grow Great. But over at Leaning Toward Wisdom I’ve grown more focused on a project I’ve labeled #CravingEncouragement. I’ve long loved the little parable of the starfish.

One day, an old man was walking along a beach that was littered with thousands of starfish that had been washed ashore by the high tide. As he walked he came upon a young boy who was eagerly throwing the starfish back into the ocean, one by one.

Puzzled, the man looked at the boy and asked what he was doing. Without looking up from his task, the boy simply replied, “I’m saving these starfish, Sir”.

The old man chuckled aloud, “Son, there are thousands of starfish and only one of you. What difference can you make?”

The boy picked up a starfish, gently tossed it into the water and turning to the man, said, “I made a difference to that one!”

I open this little note given to me by this listener and enclosed what a little picture she’d drawn depicting the little boy tossing a starfish back into the ocean.

It didn’t take me 30 seconds to read the nice note and look at the drawing. The impact lasted much, much longer. And so it goes.

I suspect she decided in a moment to create that drawing and write that note. She spent some time doing it, but her decision was likely fast. My reaction was also fast. The feeling I got the moment I opened it changed immediately. I wasn’t having my best day ever. But in a “think fast” moment, it all changed because she took the time to do this for me. She expressed feeling like a starfish for whom I made a difference when in reality I’m the starfish for whom she made a difference.

I’m closing out this week with an offer to you if you’re a small business owner in the United States willing to decide right now that you’d like to be more intentional and thoughtful about who you surround yourself with. I’m forming a 7-member peer group, mastermind group (call it whatever you’d like; I call it THE PEER ADVANTAGE). Quite literally, it’s my starfish project to serve just 7 entrepreneurs in a virtual group that will meet regularly using video conferencing technology where we do for each other what nobody else can or will. Details are at ThePeerAdvantage.com. Go there right now – it won’t take 30 seconds to get there – and click on the APPLY NOW button (you can read the details if you’d like), but please apply now because there’s no obligation. You’ll just complete a short Google form so I can learn a few things about you and your business, then we’ll schedule a phone call so I can learn more (and you can ask whatever questions you’d like). I look forward to hearing from you.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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In 1990 a paperback book’s title captured my attention while browsing through a bookstore (I frequently haunted bookstores; I miss it).

Learned Optimism: How To Change Your Mind And Your Life

It was written by one Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D. I knew I had to read it ’cause the author had TWO middle initials. E.P. stands for Elias Pete by the way. That actually had nothing to do with my buying the book, but I found it interesting nonetheless.

Dr. Seligman is the Director of the Penn Positive Psychology Center and Zellerbach Family Professor of Psychology in the Penn Department of Psychology. I hadn’t heard about “positive psychology” in 1990. Nobody else had either since it was introduced by the good doctor in 1998 when he became the President of the American Psychological Association. The University of Pennsylvania website offers us this definition…

Positive Psychology is the scientific study of the strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive. The field is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.

There’s a chapter about kids. On January 25, 1992 I had my two kids take an assessment contained in the book. My kids were both under the age of 12. I’ve still got their answers, written in their own handwriting. It’s proof of how interested I was in helping my kids grow up to be optimistic.

Dr. Seligman writes…

“Your habitual way of explaining bad events, your explanatory style, is more than just the words you mouth when you fail. It is a habit of thought, learned in childhood and adolescence. Your explanatory style stems directly from your view of your place in the world – whether you think you are valuable and deserving, or worthless and hopeless. It is the hallmark of whether you are an optimist or a pessimist.”

According to Dr. Seligman, there are 3 crucial dimensions to our explanatory style: permanence, pervasiveness, and personalization. Today, let’s focus a bit on that first dimension, permanence.

People who quit or give up easily believe the causes of the bad events that happen to them are permanent. They think the bad events will persist, always impacting their life. People who resist hopelessness believe the causes of the bad events are temporary.

Words matter.

If you think about bad things and attach words like “always” and “never,” then you’re bent toward a permanent, pessimistic style. “This always happens to me,” is a common refrain we heard. Maybe from our own lips. “I never seem to win,” is another common one.

Contrast those terms with these: “sometimes” or “lately.” Those kinds of qualifiers, says Dr. Seligman, blame bad events on transient conditions and mean we have a more optimistic style.

Hopelessness is real for all of us. Sometimes. Because failure makes us all feel hopeless momentarily. We describe it as a gut punch. It buckles our knees. It hurts. Badly sometimes. But the hurt dissipates. For some, it can go away almost immediately. For others, it takes more time. Still, others don’t seem to get over it. They seethe, feeding the pain until it grows into bitterness. These people can remain helpless and hopeless for a long time, even after a small setback. If the hurt is big enough, they may not ever find their way back.

The flip side of this is how we explain good events. No point talking about how we process bad events without considering how we process good ones.

The optimistic style of explaining good events is just the opposite of the optimistic style of explaining bad ones. People who believe good events have permanent causes are more optimistic than people who believe they have temporary causes.

Optimistic people explain good events to themselves in terms of permanent causes. That’s why their self-talk includes terms like traits, abilities and always. Pessimists use different language: moods, effort, sometimes.

People who believe good events have permanent causes try even harder after they succeed. People who see temporary reasons for good events may give up even when they succeed because they’re tempted to believe the success was a fluke.

That’s why yesterday I urged you to keep growing if you’re “on the gold.” Lean into the success and create even more success.

This particular dimension of our explanatory style – permanence – deals with TIME.

It’s important that you – the leader, the business owner – learn to be optimistic and view failure or bad events as merely temporary conditions on the path to success. While simultaneously seeing good events and success as being more permanent and things well within our control.

Why does this matter? Because it will determine our outcomes and the outcomes of our organizations. Pay close attention to the language you use with yourself and with others. You can start changing that language to something more profitable, but I encourage you to do some deeper work by changing your mind so you truly believe.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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The other day I saw an online story about Henry Winkler reinventing himself from “The Fonz” on Happy Days to the comedic acting coach on HBO’s Barry. His wife of 40 years talked about how important working is to Henry. And how sad she was for him going to audition after audition without being hired. Henry admitted that during days when he didn’t know what to do, he just hung on. He likened it to surviving a gale force wind. Last year, he got the part in Barry and won an Emmy for his performance.

“I mine the system every day,” says Henry Winkler. “But it really does work. If you are tenacious and if you have the will, it all comes back to you.”

Mining the system every day resonated with me. It likely resonates with you, too. It’s what we do inside our businesses. We mine our own system – our business. We dig and dig and dig some more. Working hard to find the gold, or diamonds or whatever precious thing we can. Mostly we’re all mining for success – defined however we choose to define it. We’re searching for momentum. And if we find it, or create it, then we keep mining to keep it. Or amplify it.

Hard work. Few occupations seem harder, more difficult physically and mentally than mining. At least, being the guys who go into the mine. Entrepreneurship is a different, but sorta the same kind of tough. It’s tough physically and mentally. It’s often dark and lonely, too.

Nothing beats hard work. Nothing.

You can’t replace it with anything else. There’s no equation where anything equals or surpasses hard work. Not talent. Or know-how. Or experience. Largely because a person who works hard has the number one ingredient for success, willingness!

Willingness was what drove Henry Winkler to find his next level of success. He was willing to do whatever was necessary to get a part. He wanted to keep working as an actor. That desire fueled his willingness, which in turn, amped up his work ethic.

He’s talented. Let’s not forget that, but even with a proven track record of success his phone wasn’t ringing. He had to go get success. He had to mine for it every single day.

Yesterday we talked a bit about complacency. There are many reasons why a person – including YOU – might grow complacent. But this much is sure, complacent people don’t mine every day. Willing, committed people do.

The system could represent any number of things, but for our purposes, it first represents your business or organization. Your enterprise is the vehicle that produces the value. The vehicle requires constant care and keeping. As the owner, or as a leader, that job depends on you doing your part.

For most top-level leaders, the mining you do is done through others. Non-leaders think it’s easy, but they don’t understand. It means worrying about the miners who do the actual digging inside your company. It means providing them with all the tools and resources they need. It means taking care of them. Each and every one of them. Their problems are your problems.

You know the pain of it. And the loneliness, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s the kind of mining you most love.

Henry Winkler mined the acting system every day by doing what he could. Same goes for us. And all the people on our team.

When we’re on the gold it’s easy, but when we’re not it can be hard to keep up our determination. Winkler mentioned two aspects of mining that are critical: tenacity and will.

Tough times test them both.

Today’s episode is about encouragement. I want to encourage you to mine the system every day even if today’s haul isn’t what you hoped. Or if it is.

If it’s not, then keep at it. Henry’s right. It will come to you. Keep digging and believing. Keep learning, understanding and growing.

If it is coming to you, then amp it up even more. Strike while the iron is hot and all that. But there’s also the reality that a small improvement in success garners much greater success than a large improvement in failure. When you’re growing is the time to focus on growing even more. Give it all you’ve got. Every day.

No matter what.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Jimmy Johnson is still missed in Dallas. The infamous split with Dallas Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones wrecked what most feel would have been prime opportunities for at least a couple of more Super Bowls. We’ll never know.

What we do know is that Jimmy was tired of being the bad guy. And he wanted to live in southern Florida.

“I had to be the bad guy because people get complacent.”

That’s what Jimmy said after he left the sidelines for the broadcast table. Far be it from me to second guess him. He’s got the degree in organizational psychology. That doesn’t make him infallible, but it does demonstrate how smart he is. He reportedly has a high IQ and may be a member of Mensa, the high IQ club. There’s no question the man is crazy smart.

Football and sports coaching is often compared to running businesses, but it’s more likely a metaphor we like than an accurate comparison. I’ve done both and they’re not the same. Not by a long shot. Of course, I’ve not coached sports at the professional level and I suppose there’s a strong argument to be made that at that level, they may be quite a lot alike. Who knows?

People do get complacent. No doubt about it.

Sometimes leaders do have to be “the bad guy.” I don’t doubt that either.

What I do question are what both of those mean.

Complacency is defined as a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements. Is that what’s really going on when a leader may be sparked to be a bad guy? Or might we sometimes mistake confusion or dissatisfaction with complacency? Is it possible sometimes people in our organization are lackluster because we’ve not provided them the information, tools and encouragement necessary to instill in them the purpose they so earnestly desire?

Does it take being a bad guy to bring that about? Of course not.

And what does being a bad guy mean? Mostly, we think it means being tough, harsh and stern. And I’m not saying there’s never a place for that. There is.

Training children sometimes require a sternness to make the point. Polite asking goes ignored. And ignored some more. I’ve quite intentionally shown my teeth in order to make a point. Kids get it. Quite quickly. Was I intentionally being a “bad guy?” Sure. But I didn’t see it as being a bad guy. Rather, it was because I cared enough to be for them what I most felt they needed in the moment.

Maybe that’s how Jimmy Johnson meant it. Maybe not.

Being “the bad guy” isn’t required to battle complacency though. And being the bad guy all the time is a surefire way to lose your team or organization. Being “the bad guy” isn’t being a jerk. It’s doing what you must to get the attention of people and to drive home the priority of the moment. It’s also part of being what people most need to learn, understand and grow.

Don’t be a tyrant. Don’t think being a bad cop is the way to higher human performance. It’s not. Being the “bad guy” is only valuable when you remain focused on the recipients, not yourself.

Keep your eyes and attention on the people you lead. Serve them well. Be for them whatever can best help them in the moment. It’s not about you. It’s about them.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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I remember sitting in a college history class, The History Of Western Civilization and thinking about these ancient characters of the past. Here I am surrounded by hundreds of my not-so-close college friends, sitting in a class that should be anything but boring (why are so many college history professors boring?) wondering how many kids around the planet are being taught these same things. And how can history be somewhat united – more so than in real time – in judging why historical figures thought what they thought and did what they did?

What I love about history is, well…history. But I also love how we approach it.

Empathy is best summed up in a word: UNDERSTANDING.

Empathy toward others means we understand how they feel. We get it.

The real-time approach to discernment is heavy on judgment. Mostly, I think because it is in real-time. There’s little or no distance between the action and our judgment of it. In short, we judge it based on the facts, assumptions or opinions at hand. It’s the context easily at our disposal.

The historical approach to discernment is fairly low in judgment, even in a liberally-minded college campus. Mostly, because it’s not in real-time. There are often great distances between the action and our current judgment about whatever happened. In short, we judge it based on more facts, fewer assumptions, and more open-minded opinions. The context is filled with more information.

Last Friday morning during a conversation I mentioned this difference. Not sure where it came from, but as they say, “Even a blind pig can find one every now and again.” What I found was a way to communicate the value and benefit of applying a different viewpoint when we look at others. Particularly when we’re drawn to make a judgment that is mostly critical. One where we’re tempted to think (or even say), “I wouldn’t do that” or “I wouldn’t do it that way.”

History is history. It is what it is. There’s no changing it. No going back to fix whatever happened. Well, unless you believe in things like the Outlander.

This means our investment in it is primarily based in the desire to simply know. And understand. We want to figure out what happened and why. Why did those people do what they did? What prompted them to make the choices they made? History is largely based on answering those two questions: What and Why. What did they do. And why.

In real time, we often feel no need to ask either of those questions. I see what you did. I know what you did. And I know why you did it. And I completely disagree with it. You’re an idiot. In real time, we keep it neat and tidy. We also keep our dignity in knowing how much better we are. After all, we would have never done what you just did.

Perspective matters.

Claire and Jamie of Outlander fame prove a point. They find Jamie’s aunt in America. She owns a plantation with over 150 slaves. Claire, who has traveled in time back from the modern world is appalled at the mere notion of slavery. The aunt names Jamie the overseer of the estate and has decided to bestow it all to him. But Claire is unable to resolve the fact that in the 1800’s on places just like this plantation, slavery was real. She’s come from the future and has a context that isn’t congruent with the time in which she now finds herself. At Claire’s urging, Jamie refuses to make a life with Claire running the plantation. Never mind that the aunt was a fair person, treating the slaves more favorably than those around her. Never mind that Claire and Jamie may have been able to provide an even more fair situation for the slaves of the plantation. Freedom for slaves wasn’t easy or even probable at the time.

Claire’s knowledge and experience of the future disabled her to make what could have been a wiser decision. It would have certainly made her life with her husband easier. All proving the point that our context and the context of what we seek to understand — it matters. Claire believed slavery to be wrong and perhaps in real-time her judgment couldn’t be helped. The rest of society mostly accepted slavery as a way of life, even if they disagreed with it.

The founding fathers of our country aren’t judged based on real-time scrutiny. Do we make allowances for them? Of course, we do. Should we? Of course, we should.

I’ve got 5 grandkids. Ranging in age from 3 to almost 12. Do I make allowances for the 3-year-old that I won’t give to the almost-12-year-old? You bet. And I must. I should. They’re at different spots on the timeline of life. One knows infinitely more than the other. One has the emotional tools of a person four times the age of the other. Those are major differences. So it goes with an historical perspective.

However…

What about UNDERSTANDING? That’s at the heart of empathy. How can this factor in to helping us increase our empathy and leverage it in our leadership?

Two words. One a verb. One a noun.

SEEK.

CURIOSITY.

The verb is “seek.”

The noun is “curiosity.”

Put them together in a 2-word sentence. Seek curiosity.

Split them apart.

Seek understanding.

Be curious enough to seek understanding.

The thing about the historical perspective is that the further away we are from the event and the people involved, the less judgmental we tend to be about it all. The more we lean into trying to figure out why they did what they did. We simply seek to understand because we’re curious. Various things might fuel our curiosity, but the value is high. Are we seeking understanding so we can learn something about them…or about ourselves? I’m not sure the motive behind the understanding is as crucial as the act of trying to understand…trumped only by the success to understand.

Can we employ a historical perspective even when there’s very little time distance? Meaning, if the event just happened can we approach it as though it happened 100 years ago? Of course, we can. We’re humans with an incredible ability to project ourselves into situations and circumstances we’ve not experienced before. Our imaginations can serve us if we just exercise them more and more toward helping us understand.

Our biases destroy our ability. We all have bigotry about something or somebody. Blind spots caused by our opinions, assumptions, and viewpoints. Those fade as we look at things beyond the context of the present. That’s why we’re able to read, study and learn from our founding fathers without judging them too harshly, even if they were slave owners. It certainly isn’t because we’re willing to believe slavery is right, or that it was even right at that time. We’re able to view the people and events in the time, considering the circumstances of their lives – not ours. And that’s the key to understanding. Stop considering the context of your life. Instead, consider the context of the lives of the people you’re trying to understand.

Is it easy? Not in real-time. Engage your imagination and tack 100 years onto it, then give it a try. Remove yourself from the process. Stop being self-centered. It’s hampering your empathy, serving nobody!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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The line came from a bit of dialogue in a 2009 movie featuring George Clooney, The Men Who Stare At Goats. Clooney plays Lyn Cassady. Bob is a reporter friend inquiring about Lyn’s life.

Lyn Cassady: Once you understand the linkage between observation and reality then you begin to dance with invisibility.
Bob Wilton: Like camouflage.
Lyn Cassady: No, it’s not like camouflage.

Lyn was part of a secret military psychological and paranormal unit. He claimed to be a Jedi, a superpower soldier with extraordinary mental capabilities. It wasn’t that great a movie, but it did have a few laugh out loud moments.

Lyn uttered the line in reference to his ability to become invisible. This would clearly be a good thing. A positive tool for any soldier.

I’m using the line in reference to our ability to not be noticed. To be virtually – not literally – invisible. Nobody notices. Especially during times when we could most use some noticing. Times when we could use some help. I’m using it as something negative. Something to be avoided or remedied.

My two-word solution is, “Get involved.” But that’s not deep enough. It’s just a headline to render a quick meaning to “do something about your loneliness or invisibility.”

The burdens of leadership are lonely. And I don’t mean power, authority or being in charge. People become intoxicated with those things. Nobody (at least intentionally) gets drunk on loneliness. They might go mad, but drunk? Doubtful. Loneliness can put the best of us in a quick funk.

The loneliness of true leadership – the constant serving of others (which is the name of the game) – is a side disadvantage. To be fair, the advantages of serving others is vast, broad and deep…filled with tons of rewards found nowhere else for the person bent to do the work. The focus is always on somebody else. At least when leadership is done well. It’s selfless. Intentionally so.

The leader is not invisible. Rather, she’s in the forefront when others need help. She’s first in line to get the call or text because others trust her. They’re comfortable leaning on her.

The leader isn’t invisible because he’s top of mind during trouble. When people find themselves in unchartered water they quickly contact the person with whom they feel most safe and able to help.

Genuine leadership derives energy from service. Concentrating on others is the work and leaders would have it no other way.

But…

To whom does the leader go? When he’s in need, who does she text or call?

To whom can the leader shell it all down with and feel safe? To whom can the leader confide without fear of judgment or betrayal?

Who can relate to the leader’s plight of invisibility – those times when the leader needs to focus a bit more on himself?

So few leaders have an intentional plan for such occasions. Mostly because they have nobody to whom they can safely go. And if safety isn’t the issue (like a close friend or family member), then relatability is the issue. It’s why husbands or wives in leadership often find it tough to connect and communicate with their spouse about work-related issues. Context and language matter…and it’s a hard thing to accomplish with people who have little or no idea what we may be up against.

One solution is to surround yourself with people to whom you’ll never be invisible. People who will be involved with you and people to whom you can be involved. Peers.

According to research done by my friend Leo Bottary (co-author of the book, The Power Of Peers), there are 5 factors that bring about the peer advantage.

Select The Right Peers

• A peer group is smarter than any one individual.
• Leaders benefit from insightful questions and the impartial advice of their peers.
• People prefer to implement their own solutions, rather than be told what to do and how to do it.
• Success is the most effective means of driving positive behavior changes.
• Leaders, regardless of industry sector, share common aspirations and challenges.
• Leaders benefit from learning about industry practices not common to their own business.
• Peer accountability is a powerful force.

Create A Safe Environment

• Being vulnerable is liberating.
• When you can share anything, knowing you won’t be judged, it’s a powerful force to help you grow.
• A healthy respect for confidentiality is mandatory. What happens in a group, stays in the group. It’s not negotiable.
• Vulnerability is seen as a strength, not a weakness.
• Creativity and change are fueled by our willingness to be open.

Utilize A Smart Guide

• True smart guides lead with the hand of a servant.
• They listen, ask good questions, build camaraderie, consider themselves as coaches rather than consultants and wear their passion for the role on their sleeve.
• The smart guide is part of the group and every member of the group has their back.
• They reinforce group norms, create an atmosphere of learning and have fun – all at the same time.

Foster Valuable Interaction

• Confidentiality is key. That safe environment fosters more open interactions.
• Skilled, repeated interactions create close bonds among group members who share in the joys of repeated successes.
• The use of a highly strategic and structured approach fosters more skilled discussions.
• It involves properly framing the issue, asking questions informed by experience and leveraging the power of a collection of successful business owners.
• It provides an unparalleled opportunity for personal and professional development of every member.

Be Accountable

• Accountability is where peer advantage comes to life.
• It’s where the outcomes and takeaways each business owner realizes manifest themselves both personally and professionally.
• It’s the whole point — to grow. To improve. To be more effective.
• The difference between peer influence and peer advantage is that peer influence is an individual pursuit while peer advantage is a group endeavor powered by greater selectivity, targeted strategies for achieving goals and structured engagement that inspires lasting results.

These 5 factors are part of The Peer Advantage by Bula Network. This is my solution to help you avoid the dance with invisibility. It’s just one answer for 7 U.S.-based entrepreneurs. I’m currently accepting applications at ThePeerAdvantage.com.

This life-changing opportunity will provide 7 small business owners the opportunity to fix their loneliness once and for all. To surround themselves with other owners who will help them learn, understand and grow. I invite you to complete the application today. It’ll only take you a few minutes. Once I get your application, I’ll reach out so we can schedule a phone call. That phone call isn’t a sales pitch of any kind. Rather, it’s a time for me to learn more about you and your business – and an opportunity for you to learn whatever you’d like about me and The Peer Advantage by Bula Network.

We’ve just completed week 1 of Q2. Don’t put it off. It’s time to leverage the power you can gain in surrounding yourself with people fully capable of helping you grow your business, your leadership and your life. Go to ThePeerAdvantage.com right now and complete the application.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC