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Communication. Connection. Collaboration. Culture.

These four C’s are a vital part of my work in helping entrepreneurs and leaders. The need is great. Higher human performance in the workplace is stymied by people’s inability or unwillingness to accurately read each other and situations. We used to simply refer to these things as “soft skills,” even though they’re very hard for many people. Today, a more sophisticated term for it is EQ or emotional intelligence. Pick your poison.

If we can’t improve our communication then I don’t know how we can improve our relationship with the truth. It’s too easy to dismiss alternative points of view or opinions that differ from ours. We rather love our assumptions and blind spots. Of course, they aren’t blind at all to us.

Listening is a prerequisite to understanding. First, we must learn to listen with a favorable bias for the truth, which isn’t always absolute. It’s sometimes contextual. That is, I have a truth that is comprised of who I am and the circumstances of my life. Those are unique to me. Yes, you and I may share some common components, but we’re still very different. Not all truths are matters of somebody being right and somebody being wrong. These kinds of truths just “are.”

Our connection fosters our ability to work together and accomplish more than either of us could alone. But first we must understand each other and that’s impossible without effective communication.

You can’t reason with unreasonable people.

Still we often try. I fancy myself to be a fast learner, but I confess that I find myself still trying to help people understand things. Sometimes these people are unreasonable. I’m learning how to better value my time and stop wasting it trying to reason with unreasonable people.

CEOs, entrepreneurs and leaders often lament similar feelings as they work to engage people, convey some important initiative for which they want high engagement — but they find some people wrecking the process. Unreasonable people.

I like to think we can convert people, but maybe not. You have to decide for yourself if the person is worth the effort. Some may be worth it, others not. You know which ones are which. Help those who can be helped. Fire the ones who can’t.

Connection doesn’t look identical to each of us. But it’s obvious when it’s happening and when it’s not. As a leader, you must judge whether people are putting forth the effort to connect or not. My personal decision as a leader is to not tolerate people who won’t work toward connection. Get on board, or get off the boat. I’m not interested in passengers. I want sailors willing to help serve each other. You decide how you most want to roll.

Leaders can get this stuff out of order and find themselves frustrated. For example, the boss gathers a team, throws them in a conference room and then tasks them to work together on a project. An important project.

The problem is there are people on the team who don’t communicate with any regard for the truth, except how they see it. As a result, there’s not any solid connection, but the leader leaps straight to collaboration, then wonders why it doesn’t work as well as he hoped. Cart before the horse syndrome. You have to get communication and connection right. And it’s why this topic took two little episodes to discuss — truth matters.

The truths that are absolute, with compelling evidence. And the truths that each individual holds based on their personality and circumstances. Both require more deeply understanding.

How do you make intolerant people tolerant?

You don’t. Well, to be fair, I don’t know how. My choice, as an organizational leader, has always been to give some effort to convert them, and if that fails, to get rid of them.

Empathy is easier for some than others. It’s easy for me so I don’t quickly or harshly judge people who struggle to understand others. I will quickly judge somebody’s unwillingness to give others due consideration though. That’s inexcusable. That’s a person whose relationship to the truth will never be appropriate or proper.

All of this speaks to one fundamental issue that can cripple your business or your organization’s ability to excel – close-mindedness. 

Your business depends on success in influence and persuasion. I grew up in sales knowing that the adage is often proven true, “Salespeople are often the easiest people to sell.” It may be because salespeople respect the ability to influence and persuade. Great salespeople know the real key is to serve people by providing as much value as possible. Great salespeople make a solid connection with prospects. If they don’t, the prospect never becomes a customer. Sales is a performance-based activity. Communication fosters connection and leads to collaboration when the prospect agrees to become a customer. If you’re in sales, you know when you’re failing.

And great salespeople are terrific listeners. They want to help their customers get what they want. The only way to find out what customers want is to ask, then listen.

Young people entering the workplace will often ask me how they can get ahead or how they can be noticed. In an Instagram world where you can go to the fanciest hotel in town and take a selfie in the lobby, fooling people into thinking you’ve got a room there for a week…authenticity and connection are lost. My answer likely disappoints: help your boss by doing whatever you can to make their life easier. Do everything in your power to serve your boss.

That’s the bottom line to all this talk about our relationship with the truth. It’s about OTHERS. It’s about listening to others. Giving consideration to others. Understanding that your perspective may not be the only valid one. Learning that you may not even have the right dots connected. Allowing that you, and others, have room to grow and improve.

How’s your relationship with the truth? Let me study your relationship with others and I’ll likely be able to give you an honest, accurate answer!

By working on our selfishness we work on ourselves. By serving others, we’re best serving ourselves. It’s not just some fanciful noble notion. Practical. Real-world. Right. Helping others excel lifts us up. It puts us in closer touch with the truth, too.

The logic isn’t tough to follow. When we put in the work to serve others we expand our circle of people willing to help us. People who influence us to achieve more These people also challenge us to see things in ways we wouldn’t otherwise consider.

We gain the benefit of seeing things through our eyes, and the eyes of all these people. We gain the benefit of hearing things through our ears, and the ears of all these people. We learn not only from our experiences but now we learn from the experiences of others.

The power of our lives moves from us (singular) to the power of the collective (us plus all the others we learn to trust). It’s exponentially increased power available only to those brave enough, vulnerable enough and confident enough to give of themselves and to accept the giving of others.

Isn’t it time you put yourself in a better room, a space where you can flourish? Sure it is…if you want to improve your relationship with the truth. And if you really want to grow.

Are you an entrepreneur in the United States? Do you operate a company where you’re close enough to the work that you don’t bristle at being called “an operator?” Then I want to ask if you’re open-minded enough to consider a powerful growth vehicle – a vehicle with an intense focus on communication, connection, collaboration, and culture. It’s a peer advantage group of just 7 entrepreneurs who are willing to come together twice a month to listen, share, learn, understand and grow. Men and women who are open to hearing what others think so they can improve their vision, and hopefully rid themselves of blind spots that can hinder their leadership and their business success.

I’m enrolling entrepreneurs today at BulaNetwork.com/apply. Details are at ThePeerAdvantage.com. Yes, this is a paid for peer advisory group with a high-value proposition. The cost is nominal for the return I know you’ll receive. Check out all the details at ThePeerAdvantage.com, or jump start things and give me a call at (214) 736-4406.

This isn’t networking. It’s about building your business and your leadership within your business. It’s a safe space where we can share ideas, experiences, and issues. Safe. Secure. Confidential. The perfect soil for high growth. I look forward to hearing from you.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Ronald W. Pies is a professor of psychiatry in New York. He wrote an article in The Conversation back in March of 2017 entitled, ‘Alternative facts’: A psychiatrist’s guide to twisted relationships to truth.

It’s a timely topic for any time, but increasingly timely given how little culture seems to care about truth or facts. Opinions and feelings are the order of the day. A heightened radar for being offended is a prize possession today. We’ve taken political correctness to new extremes.

Here’s what Professor Pies writes in the article:

First, we need to make a distinction often emphasized by ethicists and philosophers: that between a lie and a falsehood. Thus, someone who deliberately misrepresents what he or she knows to be true is lying – typically, to secure some personal advantage. In contrast, someone who voices a mistaken claim without any intent to deceive is not lying. That person may simply be unaware of the facts, or may refuse to believe the best available evidence. Rather than lying, he’s stating a falsehood.

“You can’t handle the truth!”

Jack Nicholson’s character, Colonel Nathan R. Jessep, in the 1992 movie, A Few Good Men, shouts from the witness stand that famous line. It’s never been truer and in context than today. People seem to be unable – more like, unwilling – to handle the truth. So we fight back with lies and fake claims. Or we take issue with everything as “offensive.”

What’s the impact on our organizations, our businesses, and our leadership? 

Plenty. And the cost is going to escalate. Our organizations mirror society. Whatever demons society battles find their way inside our organization. People are touchy. Dug into positions. Closed minded. Unwilling to listen. Not interested in understanding. Selfish. Proud. Conceited about their own knowledge and intelligence. The epidemic is well underway.

Situations are unique. It’s impossible to come up with some short list of solutions that apply universally. Life is too complex for that. People and circumstances have to be considered. And therein lies a big part of the problem. Our ability to read people and situations determines how well we can handle the truth. It can completely determine our vision and our blind spots.

We don’t know what we don’t know.

Increasingly, we don’t care either. Ignorance is bliss, but we feel our ignorance is superior knowledge. Greater wisdom. We’re right. They’re wrong. Period. End of discussion.

Mainstream news and politics are at the forefront of the nonsense, but it permeates every arena. It’s especially disconcerting for a guy like me who has committed emphasizing communication, connection, collaboration, and culture as the basis for higher human performance. The need has never been greater. Sadly, closed minds may have never been more rampant.

Our relationship and value of the truth – even if that truth isn’t absolute, but how somebody else sees a thing – determine our willingness to engage in the first of the four C’s that are my focus. Communication.

“Wait a minute! You don’t agree with me? Then I’ve got nothing to say to you and I’m sure not going to listen to anything you’ve got to say.”

That’s often our default. Lost along the way is the fine art of persuasion and influence, things we need if we’re going to move forward. I know we think of these things in terms of marketing and selling stuff, but we need them if we’re going to advance ideas and find better solutions. Persuasion and influence aren’t enhanced by being combative or closed minded (or both). They often go hand in hand. When’s the last time you had an encounter with a closed mind that was polite or kind? Yeah, me neither.

He says, “I’m not open to being persuaded. I’m dug in.” He’s proud of the statement. Gotta give him credit, he owns it. I’m quite sure it’s nothing to be proud of, but he feels the way he feels. His mind is like that proverbial steel trap. Nothing gets in. I’m not sure what’s getting out.

We’re not able to communicate. And if we can’t communicate, there’s no way we’ll be able to improve connection and collaboration, all the things needed to improve our culture.

Our relationship with the truth is so fractured, our unwillingness to listen so deep, that we’re mostly willing to shout at each other. The Twitter mindset doesn’t work in real life. It’s destroying organizations large and small as people come to the table with their minds made up, dug into their beliefs and fully committed to their blindspots thinking they don’t have any.

We’ll wrap this up tomorrow with part 2 of this, but for today I want to leave you with a few suggestions for you to consider – things you can begin to do today to get the ball moving in a more positive direction.

For starters, be the leader. Your employees will likely mirror your behavior and take cues from you. Be responsible.

Guage your own open-mindedness. Look closely at your relationship with the truth. Improve it.

Be honest with yourself. And with your organization. Are you prone to making up your mind before you give an audience to others? Are you listening only with thoughts of rebuttal? The sooner you recognize your biases, blind spots and assumptions, the better. Talk about these things with your leadership team. Admission of your humanity isn’t a bad thing. Don’t shy away from it. Few things will build greater trust as people see your willingness to admit you need to learn, understand and grow.

Lead the way.

Then, provide opportunities for your leadership team to do the work. Have meetings intended to foster diverse opinions and thoughts. Facilitate these meetings, not by imposing yourself, but by making sure everybody is fairly heard. Show the team how listening benefits everybody and gives the company the greatest advantage to find improved solutions.

Impose a few rules. Nobody interrupts. Everybody make good eye contact with the speaker. One good exercise is to have people summarize what they heard the person say. It’s a good way to improve listening.

It’s common in such exercises to ask person 1 to summarize what person 2 said. Then you ask person 3 to summarize what person 2 said. They’re often very different. Then open up discussion among the participants about what they heard and why they think what they heard was so diverse. It’s just one way of facing the communication problem head-on.

It’s also a great way to gauge how well we relate to the truth.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Strife doesn’t build a stronger organization. Conflict won’t deepen a leader’s influence.

Confrontation is commonplace leadership topic. I often hear managers lament how they hate it and work hard to avoid it. Frequently they feel that confrontation is synonymous with strife and conflict. It’s not. Well, it doesn’t have to be.

Let’s talk about this and see if we can better understand how our leadership is too often damaged because we’re not seeing things clearly enough. Defining some terms can help. We’ll start with some dictionary definitions because that’ll help point out why we’ve got a problem.

Strife is angry or bitter disagreement.

Conflict (which is synonymous with strife) is a serious disagreement or argument.

Confrontation is a hostile or argumentative meeting or situation between opposing parties.

Do you agree with those definitions?

Let’s work in reverse now. Confrontation has another definition, based on the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. And this is the first definition listed.

“a face-to-face meeting”

Strife and conflict aren’t even third cousins to confrontation. But we confuse them. Easy to do because of the idiocy behind keyboards today where people can spew whatever venom they want. Daily we see folks dig into positions, stop up their ears, and refuse to listen long enough to understand anybody else, especially anybody who may disagree with them.

Waging war is easy. Understanding is hard. So too often people plant their flag and declare war!

Is it possible for your leadership and your culture to foster disagreement without increasing strife and conflict? Can people disagree in your organization without behaving poorly? Can people disagree without being disagreeable?

Of course, they can, but some things are mandatory.

Strong leadership is a must. Fairness and respect have to be protected.

Strong leaders understand that enthusiastic debate can fuel some of the best ideas and creative solutions. Rather than putting a negative connotation on the emotions, strong leaders help people harness those emotions toward learning, understanding and growth. Team members are encouraged to listen without judgment. Strong leadership can help show people the value of supporting the team’s effort, even though there may be disagreement over specifics. This largely happens when the leader keeps the team focused on the big objective. Disagreement over details doesn’t have to result in disagreement over what the team is trying to accomplish. Nor should it.

Safety and trust are required. If they don’t exist, all bets are off. Conflict is sure to follow.

Teams can build trust and safety. To elevate team performance, leadership must make those qualities top priority in the culture.

Intentions matters! If people are pursuing agendas other than those best for the group, then it’s easier for individuals to behave selfishly. Trust and safety don’t exist where selfishness is allowed.

Strong leaders are tough on intentions. People don’t behave perfectly. Sometimes we all mess up. But it’s very important that people learn to exhibit care and concern for the team and the team’s objectives.

“If your end of the boat sinks, so does mine.”

Strong leaders require behaviors to reflect that intention. They don’t allow anybody to violate that without great personal cost. It’s not being intolerant of individualism. It’s being intolerant of autocratic tyranny.

Ideas, opinions, and thoughts deserve to be tested. Vigorously. 

If people can merely toss out some idea, or make some comment and not sustain a challenge…then that’s good for higher performance. That’s why disagreement is so highly valued. Truth and solid ideas are born from going through the fire of discussion and disagreement.

The best human advancements have been made because what was believed absolutely, positively true was challenged. And was unable to withstand the discussion of disagreement.

Prove it. Have your viewpoint. Listen to the viewpoint of others. Let them make you prove your viewpoint to be accurate. Make them prove their viewpoint. You’ll both emerge victors for your willingness to caringly challenging each other. I realize we rarely get to this point because we can get this far along on the path. Simply, we can’t get past our own pride, hubris, and selfishness.

Too many people don’t have an open mind. They too highly value their own viewpoint while simultaneously discounting the viewpoint of anybody else, especially those who disagree with them. Such people destroy the culture of high performance, which is why your strong leadership is so needed.

Being disagreeable means “marked by ill temper.” That’s what’s unacceptable.

Debate. Disagreement. Facing off with opposing viewpoints. Those aren’t automatically marked by ill temper, but it’s shocking how many people think so. Society isn’t helping matters any. Twitter wars abound. One person takes offense at another. And the fight is on. Keyboard shouting, accomplishing nothing, but strife. No learning. No understanding. No growth. An epidemic of dwarfism of ideas. Is that the culture you want inside your organization?

Then put in the effort to create an environment where people feel safe to disagree because they genuinely care about each other and doing the best work of their lives. Build a culture where people aren’t allowed to judge each other harshly, but where people are required to give grace to each other knowing that everybody has the best intentions to create the best solution.

Help your people disagree without being disagreeable.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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“You’ve got to get excited. That’s how innovation happens.”  – Stephen Sanger, CEO, General Mills

Enthusiasm is energy. Well, at least it’s one form of energy. A form of energy you’re going to need to reach new heights in your business (and in your leadership).

Somebody said to me, “You can’t manufacturer enthusiasm.” I didn’t argue, but I instantly thought, “Sure you can. You can likely manufacturer or fake just about anything.” But I don’t think he properly expressed the thought. Excitement and enthusiasm need to be authentic. Genuine.

Three grandkids are overtaking my kitchen one morning. I ask them about breakfast. “Who wants oatmeal?” I ask, knowing at least 2 of them (the boys) rather like oatmeal. Big sister pipes up, “I don’t like oatmeal. I want eggs.” Middle brother pipes up, “I don’t like eggs. I want oatmeal.” I ask little brother, “Do you want pecans in your oatmeal?” Before he can answer, big sister chimes in, “He doesn’t like pecans.” I fetch a pecan, give it to little brother and he scarfs it down, then says, “I want pecans.” This is a 3-ring circus. As usual when these beggars are at the house.

I have flour tortillas so I offer to make big sister a breakfast burrito. “I don’t want cheese in it,” she says. “What? You don’t cheese?” I ask. “I don’t like cheese with eggs,” she declares.

Siblings. None of are excited by the same things. Not even the same breakfast foods. Ask them why they like what they like, why they hate what they hate…and they’ll look at you like you’re crazy. They get excited about whatever they get excited about. They’re little kids so they don’t know how to fake anything. Yet.

Such is the case with genuine excitement versus manufactured excitement. True enthusiasm looks very different from fake. The results are different, too.

To go from here to there (from wherever you are to where you most want to be), you need to get excited. You need genuine, true excitement for the work. The goal should excite you. Not in some dreamy, wishful thinking sort of way, but in a way where you believe in it. Where you believe in yourself and your ability to accomplish it.

That’s why HOW is more important than people claim. Pundits declare that big thinkers and high achievers don’t focus on how. Rather, they focus on who can help them. Sounds good, but when you focus on who you’re leaning into how because at the heart of your who is “how can they help me?” I just don’t think how and who are so distinctly separate. And these two concepts – or truths – matter because they’re both required if we’re going to be truly enthusiastic about whatever it is we’re chasing.

How are these important? Because without them you’ll struggle to believe. Without belief, excitement will falter.

A person can get all amped up about some “get rich quick” scheme, but the enthusiasm fades once adversity hits. And adversity always does hit. Fake excitement over an imaged outcome. Sorta like hitting the lottery. Manufactured enthusiasm about something that could happen won’t last. How long can you stay excited about the prospect of winning the Publisher’s Clearing House contest? Not long.

Something else, too. Excitement over such things doesn’t provide any value. You’ve got to be excited about something that needs your purposeful, intentional action. In short, be excited about what you can do to alter the course of your future! That’ll pay off, even if you don’t quite hit the mark. The practice of putting in the work, fueled by the energy provided by your excitement, will create opportunities. You may not even see them all coming.

Confidence helps, too. As you put in the work, excited about getting this thing done, you’ll prepare. You’ll take action. That repetition – preparation followed by action – will provide you the learning you need.

Learning. Understanding. Growth. L.U.G.

Figuring it out gives you the leg up you need. Excitement’s role is enormous to keep you sustained when temporary failures knock you down. Context keeps you focused on knowing that the urgent task is to find out what will work for you. Everything is specific to YOU. Nobody else matters.

Be excited about what YOU can get done. Be excited about the work necessary to figure it out. Stay excited when something doesn’t work because it’s only temporary if you’ll strengthen your belief and increase your excitement. The ninnies will defeat you if you start listening to them. So don’t listen to them.

This is all about YOUR excitement. Your preparation. Your work. Your ability to figure it out. It’s your success.

“It’s hard to beat somebody when they don’t give up.”  — Babe Ruth

Excitement can help keep you going.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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I’m going to blow things up and reassemble them, hopefully with a much faster design with an intense focus on mobile experiences. My hosting service – purchased from MapleGrove Partners – is crazy fast and great. I love it. You should buy it if you’re looking for a rock solid, inexpensive hosting that is ridiculously secure. I don’t get a single penny for recommending it, but you should buy it today if you’re in the market for top-notch hosting!

This site is bloated. It happens. WordPress is terrific and I’ve loved it for many years. But, things accumulate. Premium themes, even great ones, have limitations that require extensive plugins, unless you’re a hardcore developer/coder (I’m not). Page loads slow down. Queries pile up to the sky. Things don’t play as nicely as they once did.

So it’s time to blow it up and reboot with a fresh no-nonsense approach. Mobile users, which now accounts for 63% of web users with 37% consuming their content on a desktop. That was the last study I saw back last summer. I’m quite certain that the mobile number is rising and the desktop number will continue to come down.

When we’re on a mobile device we don’t stop to admire the pretty design. We simply want to get what we’re after. Minimalism works. Fancy doesn’t.

The Grow Great Daily Brief podcast gets some traffic, but most of it honestly comes through podcast catchers like Stitcher or Apple Podcasts. Even so, when visitors do come to the site most of them are on a mobile device and the site experience just isn’t good enough to suit me.

Brace yourself because I’m going for speed, speed, speed and ease, ease, ease for folks who visit this website. I won’t be posting anything until I get it done and I can’t promise the site will look like much of anything as I’m working the kinks out. I’m keeping it live instead of opting for some maintenance plugin. No need to make things more cumbersome than necessary.

I’ll be back as soon as I’ve got things mostly under control. In the meantime, I’ll see you over on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook or Linkedin.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Few things are more closed than a closed mind. Somebody smarter than me will have to teach us why we close our minds, but I’ve been fortunate enough to have experienced a few epiphanies in my life that forced my previously closed mind to OPEN. Each time I feel like reenacting that old V8 drink commercial. Smack my forehead and shout, “Wow! I could have had a V8.” Except I’d have shouted something more like, “Wow! I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

But another emotion has always quickly followed. Thankfulness. I don’t linger too long in berating myself for being so narrow-minded, or blind. Instead, I’m thankful somebody helped influence or convince me to reconsider what I thought, felt or believed.

Blind spots are funny creatures. They live inside your head and you don’t even know they’re there. But once you spot them, you can’t ignore them. And when you change your mind, they go away. Well, to be fair – those specific blind spots may. But new blind spots are still there. Until something or somebody reveals them. That’s why I’m so intently focused these days on surrounding yourself with people who can caringly challenge you. And your blind spots.

There are some important common denominators I’ve seen in a closed mind. My own and others. Talking about these may help us understand some things we can do to open a closed mind.

For starters, isolation fosters a closed mind. 

That doesn’t mean we have to become hermits. We can isolate ourselves on a subject matter. A person can be surrounded by people but never foster interaction with anybody who may challenge a particular point of view. Leaders do this more frequently than they’re able to admit. A leader operates based on a set of beliefs that are never challenged because he won’t allow it. Mind closed. Simultaneously, he can be open-minded about many other things that aren’t based on strong beliefs. The stronger the beliefs, the more closed the mind may become.

Agreement fosters a closed mind.

When I think back to the times when my closed mind was challenged I realize that my blind spot (and closed mind) were largely fueled by a lack of challenge. I thought something to be true. The people around me thought the same thing. Result? Our agreement never provoked us to take a closer look.

Assumptions are too comfortable. Much more comfortable than considering they may be wrong.

My closed mind was always (100%) the result of assumptions I thought were absolutely, positively correct. Until I learned they weren’t. Or they may not be.

It’s smooth sailing to go our merry way, day after day, living with all the things we’ve always assumed to be true. Honestly, there’s just no work involved.

The workout that kicks our butt is to have those assumptions challenged. To have somebody in our life who cares deeply enough about us to challenge us to make sure we’re seeing things correctly. It’s not about somebody who wants to manipulate or coerce us into their way of thinking. It’s about somebody who caringly, and bluntly, is able to express enough concern for us that they want us to make sure we’re seeing things clearly. Clearly enough to learn, understand and grow.

It’s less about persuasion. It’s more about making sure you’re seeing things accurately.

In my own experiences, my previously closed mind was opened not by somebody who was an opponent seeking to win an argument, but a trusted friend intent on helping me make sure I’m correct. And now we’re onto something powerful I think. Don’t you?

This is why I’m intent on whoever surrounds us not being judgmental. Or harpy. Or filled with “should’s.” “You should do this” or “you should do that.” Or “you shouldn’t do this or that.” All the armchair quarterbacking that goes on isn’t helpful. It’s a proud person filled with hubris trying to impose on others. Often fueled by that notion that they’re smarter and wiser than you. Perhaps they are, but that’s not the path to helping anybody open their mind. Rather, it’s a surefire way to making the seal even tighter.

Minds are open when we feel safe and cared for.

Yet people waste everybody’s time pushing, pressing and arguing. Putting forth good arguments is a solid tactic, but it’s fruitless up against a closed mind. Influence and persuasion are terrific skills, too. But if a mind is closed, they’re no match.

The relationship means everything. Until you have a relationship filled with safety and care, you’re powerless to open a closed mind. You can use this knowledge in your own life – to battle your own close-mindedness and you can use it to help people with whom you have a relationship.

Don’t confuse all this with things like our American court system. The justice system is built on adversarial performances. It’s advocacy. One side advocates for innocence. The other for guilt. In between the two are the people who will decide. Either a jury or a judge. While they’re supposed to be impartial, they’re still human. They listen, observe and hopefully aren’t so close-minded they can’t see the facts as they should. When the jurors retreat to make their decision there’s conversation and minds are changed based on how each member feels about other members. My money is on the juror who the other jurors most trust. That’s the person with the most influence inside that room. And it’s probable that the jurors mostly lean toward not just the facts, but the likeability of the people doing the advocating. People are people.

Who surrounds you that makes you feel safe and cared for — but people willing to challenge you. Mostly because they care that much for you. And even in the moment, when you suffer the epiphany of stupidity (like the ones I’ve described that have hit me) – you know this person cares. So your mind opens up like a flower that blossoms. And suddenly the fragrance of an open mind sweeps through your nostrils, helping all the fog that once occupied your mind (and your feelings) dissipate. It’s the difference between being outside on a gloomy, foggy day and a day filled with sunshine and not a cloud in the sky. There’s simply no comparison.

Let me tell you about The Peer Advantage by Bula Network.

Are you an entrepreneur in the United States (apologies to my European, Australian and foreign friends, but time zones are the issue for this project)? If you’re running a company with revenues between 1 and 100 million bucks a year (it can be more; it can be less), then I’d like to learn more about you and your company. I’d like to offer you the opportunity to be more intentional, purposeful and mindful of who you surround yourself with. Specifically, I’d like to see if you’re a good fit to join a group of 7 entrepreneurs and me as we work together to learn, understand and grow. I’d also like to give you the opportunity to see if you think such a group would be a good fit for YOU. The purpose? To help each other grow our business, our leadership, and our lives. To create a uniquely powerful group where every member feels safe, cared for and helped. Just go to BulaNetwork.com/apply – complete that short survey and then we’ll jump on the phone to talk. Mostly, I’m going to learn more about you and your business. I’m interested. And I’m happy to answer any questions you may have, too. Consider it a first date, and we can decide if we want to have a second one or just part ways in a friendly way.

Have a great weekend. I look forward to hearing from you.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!