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Sincere honesty should come more easily, but I understand why it’s often tough. We live with masks mostly permanently affixed to our face. Showing the world what we want them to see. Saying things we know the world wants to hear. Fooling ourselves into claiming we’re being polite. Or positive. 

Candor is tough because of judgment. We fret about what people will think. Here’s where we get it wrong…we think people want polite lies more than they want sincere honesty. There are so many problems with that. Dishonesty being up near the top. How is dishonesty a good strategy for life?

I’m not talking about being rude or obnoxious. This isn’t about leaving tact behind. Quite the opposite, it’s about raising your emotional intelligence! Elevating your awareness and empathy. 

People too frequently define candor as being able to tell people bad things, or negative things. WRONG! It’s being able to tell people the truth. It’s letting go of insincerity, fluff and bull. It’s compassion, empathy and caring. 

Let me explain by talking about corrective employee discipline because this is where it often comes up in my conversations with CEOs and other top-level leaders. 

Question: Do you think it’s fair or honest to terminate an employee who doesn’t see it coming? 

Don’t be so fast to answer. Think about it. Then think about how you want to answer compared to the reality inside your company. Yes, every HR professional will push you to document, document, document. And to put employees on a PIP (performance improvement plan). Let’s assume you do all that as you should in order to protect yourself legally. 

But I’m not talking about your legal obligations. Those are a given. I’m talking about moral obligations, actions you take because it’s the right thing to do. I’m talking about CANDOR, sincere honesty. 

It’s too easy to be a coward. To avoid a confrontation, that’s the word I usually hear whenever I bring up the topic of “candor.” Curious, isn’t it? Did you think of “confrontation” when you heard me first say “candor”? 

Now we’re getting to the heart of why candor is so absent in companies. We’ve got it all twisted around. Are our lives so absent of sincere honesty that we think to deploy it would result in an immediate confrontation? That’s just plain sad!

But if it does, so what? You don’t want your sincere honesty to be questioned? Aren’t you prepared to explain it, or defend it – if you must? 

Let’s take the employee on a PIP. Does the employee realize the severity of their circumstance? You can convince yourself, “Well, they should see it.” Or, you can make sure with candor!

For me, this is not difficult stuff because of my view of leadership. SERVICE. 

As the owner, your job is to serve the people who work inside your company. Stick with the illustration of the employee on an improvement plan. They’re quickly headed toward being dismissed. Maybe that’s not been explicitly communicated. If you’re going to serve them well, you’ll have to make sure they know how serious things are. Like the late-night infomercial announcers say…but wait a minute, there’s more! Don’t they deserve to know what they must do to turn things around so they can maintain employment? Of course, they do.

Enter the need for CANDOR. 

Every leader I know is preoccupied with “employee engagement.” You know what drives employee engagement? One thing. And only one thing. Leaders who care. Leaders who care about the people they’re worried about being engaged. If leaders don’t care about people, people know it. They will not be engaged. I don’t care how many consulting companies you bring in to perform 360 reviews or any other tactics or tricks. Won’t work. Won’t stick. Save your money. And everybody’s time. You’ll garner more respect by continuing to not care about people and stop faking like you do. People would respect you more if you told them, “Listen, I don’t care about you people. I only care about our revenues and profits so I can afford a fancier lifestyle. If you wanna work for somebody who is going to care about you as a human being, then you’re at the wrong place!” You could at least be guilty of candor instead of hypocrisy. 

A better strategy for employee engagement and effective leadership is to genuinely care about your employees. But if you’re a miserable human being, that’s not going to happen…so deploy whatever tactic you want. Good people won’t stick around so I don’t worry about them. The bad people will stick around so you’ll both be getting what you deserve. It’s those marginal people who worry me…the people who could be better if you were a decent boss. A boss who cared enough to deploy candor. Who saw the value of sincere honesty as opposed to insincere dishonesty. 

But you’re better than that. You’re just likely afraid that candor won’t work because you’ve predetermined how it’s going to go. I’m not going to tell you to trust me. I’m going to tell you to trust candor. Trust honesty. Mostly, trust that if you care about people – your people doing the work you need done – then candor is your best friend. It will change your world for the better. And it will serve your people better than anything else you could do. 

We’re honest with people we love. Do you love your employees? If you do, then act like it. Tell them the truth. Share with them all that you can while still protecting them. Don’t lay on them anything beyond their ability to control, or to contribute toward. We love our children, but no matter how old they are we don’t want to burden them with things they can do nothing about. Yet, we want their support and we want to make sure we’re supporting them.

Mutual respect. Mutual concern. Mutual compassion. 

You want the truth. You need the truth. Who’s the leader? YOU. 

Then start delivering the truth. Don’t confuse candor with harshness or anger. Remember, candor is sincere honesty! SINCERE. That means it’s genuine. It’s free from deceit. It’s filled with honest intentions. It’s service. It’s the stuff of leadership.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Funny how some things you learn when you’re young in business stick with you. This is one of those lessons I learned when I was still a teenager selling stereo gear. Sometimes you can really dazzle somebody by doing something extraordinary. Do it.

There’s no hard fast rule for knowing when to do this, but it’s powerful for many reasons. It creates a customer who is excited and happy. It fosters good news being spread about you and your business. It demonstrates how important customers truly are to your employees. It shows your heart of leadership and service.

The lady purchased a pair of stereo speakers. They were fairly large, floor-standing speakers. The company I worked for manufactured them in their own shop. The cabinets were thick wood with an oak finish veneer. She had them for less than 2 days. Somebody, presumably the man in her life (she was probably in her 20’s so she seemed old to me since I was still in high school) unboxed the speakers to help her place them in her living room. Well, the doofus evidently didn’t know to open the bottom of the box, flip it upside down onto the floor, then slide the box off the speaker. Instead, he attempted to slide the speaker out of the box while holding it and as you might imagine…it didn’t go well. For the speaker. Or him. The speaker landed on a corner and it boogered up the corner. She was sick about it. So she called. I told her to bring it in and let me look at it to see what we could do. (This was before digital photography so we didn’t’ ask customers to take a photograph, then take that film to the drug store to be processed, then hand deliver the hard photo.)

I was expecting it to be awful. Like the corner flattened completely. It was badly scratched and the finish was damaged. I asked the manager if somebody in our shop might be able to repair it. He was pretty confident they could. We stood there talking about it and I decided to plead her case. She had purchased a complete system and spent considerable money. Anticipating my request (I guess), he said, “Just take them back and give her a new pair. Make sure you show her how to unbox them.” 

Thankfully, I had asked her to bring in both speakers (they were in separate boxes). That day I was able to do for her what I knew I’d be unable to do for everybody. She was beyond thrilled. In fact, I’d guess she was more excited about that than when she first got the system, just 48 hours earlier. She was sure to tell everybody how terrific I was, and how awesome our store was. She was even thrilled seeing how to unbox them (another lesson I learned; don’t assume customers know what you know…show them). 

I’ve got tons of stories from my years running retail companies. So many times I’ve done extraordinary things for customers. Things I’d never be able to do for everybody, but I quickly learned you just do it when you know it’s the right thing to do. It’s a feel kinda of a thing. You know it when you feel it. Or see it. 

People are people. Yes, employees are people, too. 

I’ve hired a number of people in my life who were down and out in some way. People who struck me as good people, potentially good employees, but people who seem to need a break for some reason. Sometimes I’ve hired a person then taken them shopping and purchased them appropriate working attire. Sometimes I’ve advanced them pay so they could rent a place to live. Or make a down payment on a car. Above and beyond actions for an individual — something done for them that I clearly wasn’t going to do for everybody. Right is right. 

Enter judgment. Enter fear.

I’ve heard it all through the years. People have challenged me saying, “You’re just opening yourself up to have everybody expect that.” Or, “You can’t single out an employee or you’ll have big trouble from the other employees.”

I’ve behaved this way for decades! I’ve never, ever encountered a single problem. And if I had, I would have had no problems. Others may have had a problem, but I wouldn’t have taken ownership of it myself. Doing something good – something extraordinary – for a few doesn’t mean everybody gets a trophy.  Besides, I grew up in a Christian home and even as a teen I already knew a truth.

Proverbs 3:27 “Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, When it is in the power of thy hand to do it.”

Okay, maybe it wasn’t always “due,” but it was needed. And as a leader (even as a teenage salesperson), I had the power to do it, or to influence it. So I did. 

Today is the last day of the month. I’m encouraging you to end the month on a high note. And to jump start November, too. It’s right and it makes more sense than ever before. 

I grew up in retail back in the days before the Internet, or cell phones, or fax machines. If one customer with a complaint could tell 9 people (I remember that stat being put forth as fact) back then, think of how many hundreds of people can be told today. And if one customer with an extraordinary experience could tell a few people back then, they can post it all over social media today and get the word to potentially thousands. Not to mention Google and Yelp reviews, and all the other places where people can extol how terrific we are at taking care of customers. The same goes for employees. Glassdoor and other employee review sites – plus social media – can also spread the word. 

Stories spread the news. People talk. They share. 

But…

That’s not why we do it. That’s just a big collateral advantage to doing the right thing. We do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. 

Is your heart and mind open to going the extra mile when you can? That’s another Biblical principle based on Matthew 5:41 “And whosoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two.” Some call it second-mile religion. Well, I’m here to tell you that second-mile religion inside your company works! At every level. 

Being nice is its own reward. Doing the right thing is, too. And we all know that what goes ’round comes around. So today, and tomorrow, do for a few what you can’t do for everybody. Don’t be afraid. 

Be well, Do good. Grow great!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 10:15 — 10.5MB)

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Hustle. It’s the battle cry of the modern entrepreneur. It means work hard, work long…put in more hours, make more sacrifices than the next guy. Or than anybody else. 

The notion is that talent and skill are largely what they are. And that the big variable is the effort, which is quantified by what you do and how long you do it. 

My view of hard work is that yes, it’s hard. And often necessary. But I’m not going to make some sweeping generalization about it either. 

We love to hear stories of Larry Bird as a child shooting thousands of baskets daily out on the family farm. We lionize the effort, the dedication. For good reason. It’s noteworthy. 

There are countless stories that could be told of high achievers who found something they were quite talented at that didn’t require such levels of extreme dedication or practice. People very capable of greatness who didn’t necessarily have the obsession to do that thing at the expense of everything else. 

Where do you fall in all this? Where do I fall? I don’t know. I honestly don’t. I can truthfully say that I have confidence in myself about many things and a complete lack of confidence about many other things. There are things I enjoy that I think I’m pretty good at, and other things I enjoy that I’m less sure about. 

Working to exhaustion seems to be the mantra that most disturbs me because I have perspective. I’ve done it. Multiple times in my career. Often because I had to. Other times because I wanted to. Like most things in our lives, it ebbs and flows. Some days you eat the bear. Some days, the bear eats you. 

My biggest advances forward, my most positive moments of growth didn’t happen in the middle of the battle when I was putting in 80-hour work weeks. They came when I stepped back and took a deep breath. Either because circumstances gave me the opportunity, or because I felt myself simply needing a reprieve from the grind. 

Deep breathing time. Reflection time. Time to ponder. 

Frenetic movement doesn’t mean you’re hustling. Don’t mistake motion for action. 

There’s a reason you hear the cliché of getting our best ideas in the shower. Stepping away gives us a perspective that’s difficult to see when we’re dodging bullets in the battle. 

Our minds need time to process the work. To reflect on what we’re doing, and what we’re learning. To come up with alternative solutions, or to just come up with any solution. To spot opportunities unseen in the daily grind of it all. 

I have an iMac. It’s got a high-speed processor and plenty of RAM, meaning it’s got good horsepower. Most of the time it hums along quietly while multiple programs are going. I’m sure under the hood, it’s working hard, but it’s not hitting its full capabilities. 

But I can start processing an hour long video, have email open, have multiple Chrome tabs open, and start recording audio and all of a sudden I can hear the internal cooling mechanism kick into gear to cool down the engine. I can quit one or two of the less taxing efforts – like closing down Chrome – and the computer clearly stops pushing itself so hard. I’d imagine I could go the other way though and try to process a second video file and I’d quickly find out how much the computer could take. Would I be able to tax it enough to cause it to shut down to protect itself? Yes. The computer is designed, so I’m told (I’ve never tried it), to shut down if it begins to overheat. 

What a stupid feature, right? I mean, doesn’t this iMac know the value of hustle. Can you hustle too much? Can you work too hard? 

Work requires rest. 

Some people need more than others. I’ve lived my entire life not needing much sleep. I love to sleep, but I don’t get much of it. And the older I get, the less I get.

Additionally, my circadian rhythm has always involved about 90-minute sleep cycles. I can sleep for 90-minutes then be up for hours, and keep that cycle going until morning. It’s not terribly uncommon for me to squeeze in two 90-minute cycles in a night. And I can just about set a watch to the 90-minutes. When I say “about” 90-minutes, it’s within a minute or two. Weird. 

Even freaks like me need rest though. Some days I have to nap. Not often, but some days. My body just starts telling me, “You’re done!” 

It’s important to listen to yourself and not the entrepreneurial landscape that’s yelling for you to earn your HUSTLE merit badge.

Rest is rebuilding. Gaining energy for the work ahead. 

It’s also healing. Regenerating time. 

Rejuvenating time. Giving your brain – your processor – time to cool down to a more optimal temperature where it’s able to perform at a higher level. 

Permit me to make some suggestions. 

Devote a bit of time each day to do nothing. No meetings. No phone calls. No reading. Just something completely passive. Time where it’s not about accomplishing anything. Checking something off your to-do-list. 

For me? It’s slapping on headphones and listening to music. I may do it for a few minutes here and there, multiple times. I may do it for an hour. I do it until I’m ready to get back to it, whatever IT is. 

Schedule time to reflect. Reflection is looking back. What’s working? What’s not working? Reflection is meant to teach, not punish. This isn’t time set aside so you can berate yourself of your mistakes. Instead, it’s time to learn, like the athletes who watch film of their last game…you’re looking closely at what you did so you can do better in the future. 

Schedule time to consider tomorrow. For me, this is dreaming time. Not dreaming during sleep, but intentional dreaming about the future I most would like to create. It’s time when I ask myself what I most want and why. Sometimes it involves writing. Sometimes it involves talking to myself. Sometimes it involves fantasy, imagining what may seem like the impossible. It’s my time to permit my mind to go wherever I’d like to travel. Future time. Better time. 

I hope this helps you. Better yet, I hope you’ll more soberly consider it and give it a go. Let me know how it works out. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Are you an American entrepreneur operating a business that generates at least $3M annually AND you intuitively know how valuable other people can be your growth and success?

Are you optimistic and driven to put in the work to make your ambitions come true?

Then I’m going to invite you to apply for membership into The Peer Advantage by Bula Network. The Peer Advantage by Bula Network is a peer-to-peer group of 7 American entrepreneurs willing to come together via an online video conferencing platform twice a month (every other week) to help each other grow, seize opportunities, effectively handle issues and overcome adversity. I’m personally going to facilitate the meetings, but our group will belong to all of us. The purpose is for every member to benefit by our collective wisdom, know-how and sharing. The group won’t make your decisions for you, but instead will help you think through your options so you can make better decisions for yourself.

The group will meet for 2 hours every other week. Membership is intended to be long-term because relationships like these become more valuable over time. The ROI increases as we all get to know one another better, and as we grow to trust each other. In fact, the group is going to become a priceless resource for every member as we surround ourselves with other entrepreneurs willing to share their experiences and perspectives. That will provide each member of The Peer Advantage by Bula Network to consider other perspectives. 

No judgment. Nobody telling you what you “should” do. Nobody who is beholden to you for their job, or for any reason other than the desire to help you succeed, knowing that you’re going to do the same thing for them. It’s about our mutual pursuit to grow our leadership, our businesses, and our lives. 

You can find all the details at ThePeerAdvantage.com, but I want to encourage you to go visit  BulaNetwork.com/apply – that’ll take you directly to a Google form that won’t take more than a few minutes to complete. Fill out that form and we’ll arrange a time to get on the phone together to discuss this opportunity. 

Everybody needs a helping hand. 

Sometimes we need help to climb to a higher altitude. Other times we need somebody to help us get back on our feet. Entrepreneurs helping entrepreneurs is not about networking, or showing off. It’s about us helping each other take our careers, our businesses and our lives to a future of our own choosing. So permit me to dispell some myths people often have – people who have never experienced the extraordinary benefit of joining forces with other business owners. 

Networking is great, but that’s not what this is.

We network to meet other people. To expand our sphere of connections. There’s great benefit to expanding our contacts. Even more value when we get to know our contacts well enough to vouch for them and their work. And where they know us enough to vouch for us and our work. Most of us could improve our ability to do this. I know I could. 

But The Peer Advantage by Bula Network isn’t about networking. 

Advice givers can be great when we want it, but that’s not the focal point of this.

You bring up a problem or an opportunity to a friend or family member. As soon as you finish describing the problem they quickly have an opinion. One they’re willing to share. In fact, they may lack the restraint to share how they feel about it. Along with pointed suggestions on what you should do. 

One of my pet peeves is the salesperson – or in this example, the friend or family member – who has all the answers, but no questions. Some sales rep would get an appointment with me, sit down across from me and proceed to pitch me with what I need. Many would even tell me what I needed. I’m a polite guy and I’m fond of sales. I don’t happen to think selling is a dirty profession. I think it’s honorable, but there are dishonorable ways to go about it. Like sitting down in front of somebody – or getting them on the phone – and proceeding to tell them what they need, or what they ought to do, when you have no clue about them, or their business. 

The Peer Advantage by Bula Network isn’t about a bunch of people sitting around judging each other, second-guessing each other and telling each other what they should do. 

Answers are more powerful than questions. The BIG myth.

Questions are where the power is. They help us gain clarity. They help us distill what we’re thinking and feeling. Simply put, questions help us become better thinkers. And by becoming better thinkers we can become better doers!

Everybody needs a helping hand from people courageous enough, and humble enough, to ask us questions to help us understand what we want to accomplish. 

There are too many myths to address in a short podcast. But I hope you can clearly see this isn’t some sit-around-and-complain group, or some you-do-business-with-me, and-I’ll-do-business-with-you group. It’s not about people throwing rocks are what you want to do because our power as entrepreneurs is to do things our own way. Our ambitions change. Twenty years ago I wanted very different things than I want today. There wasn’t anything wrong with what I wanted 20 years ago. There’s nothing wrong with what I want today. They’re just different because my life – just like your life – has changed. Our lives, our entrepreneurship and our businesses are constantly changing. We need people willing and able to help us through those changes. 

I’m currently interviewing prospective members. I’d be honored to include YOU. Just go to BulaNetwork.com/apply and take a few minutes to complete that survey. I’ll reach out to you and we’ll book a phone call where together we can decide if this is the right opportunity for you. 

Have a great weekend!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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I was watching a YouTube video the other night and a pre-roll ad came on. I usually hit that SKIP button as soon as possible, but this one got my attention because the subject interested me. 

Opioid addiction. The opioid epidemic. 

This has been in the news quite a lot in recent years sparked in large part by the Fentanyl-related deaths of Prince and Tom Petty. The ad was produced by DrugFree.org. 

A visit to their website reveals advice and help. Help with the skills parents may need to help a child addicted to opioids. Skills needed to help families struggling. 

We all need skills. 

We learned them. All of them. Even the ones that came naturally to us. Those just came easier. 

Adversity is the Master Teacher. Our skills to navigate adversity happen by…well, by navigating adversity over and over again. One hurdle teaches us lessons we’ll never forget, as opposed to dozens of successes that won’t teach us anything. Adversity has a ridiculously high ROI.

Sometimes we need skills to heal. It’s fun to think of best-case scenarios. And to daydream of extraordinarily higher success. 

But sometimes we need to recover. Sometimes our business suffers a loss. I’ve operated businesses that endured late-night break-in’s, floods, cars crashing through walls, robbery at gunpoint, death of employees and a host of other issues. Bad things happen that demand appropriate responses. 

Some bad things have long-lasting consequences requiring healing. The skills to stop the bleeding in the ER aren’t the same skills needed in the rehab center to teach a patient how to walk again. One skill requires speed and urgency. The other…patience, patience, patience.

There’s a paradox though.

You need both of those skills. The skills for urgent care and the skills for healing. 

Let’s concentrate for a few minutes about the skills needed to help your company (or life, or career) heal. 

Pay close attention. The details matter!

Healing is a process. There are signs and indicators you must observe accurately. That illustration of physical therapy rehab is valid. For healing and recovery, slight differences demand notice. Feedback is critical so we know what actions need to be taken. It’s about adjusting as we go, which means we have to know if we’re making progress…and what that progress is. 

A subset of this is to listen carefully for understanding. Of course, listening to understand is always optimal, but it’s crucial when you’re working to heal or recover. Don’t assume you know. Just lean into what you hear and can confirm. 

Watching is important, too. By careful listening, we can add to our listening to get the most accurate picture possible. So keep your eyes and ears open at all times. Base your actions on what you know to be true. There’s no need to guess when you can get ongoing (often instant) feedback. 

Communicate with candor. And empathy.

Healing happens when truth and honesty reign. We’re looking for improvement (aka healing). It could also be growth. Or innovation. The skills are ironically the same!

Don’t sugarcoat things. Healing and recovery (or any of those other things) require a lot of hard work. It’s not easy. Don’t try to con the team into thinking it’s no big deal. It IS a big deal, but you’re going to lead them through it with confidence. 

The PT (physical therapist) knows more than the patient. If they don’t, the patient is in deep trouble. 😉 

You know more than the team, if only by virtue of your perspective as the leader. That doesn’t make you the smartest person in the room. It just means you’re responsible for the progress. The healing. Be clear in assuming that responsibility by being empathetic to the various viewpoints of the team. Notice when they’re struggling and suffering. Notice when they’re feeling great and gaining momentum. Adjust your communication accordingly. Sometimes you’ll need to encourage. Sometimes you’ll need to bark and challenge. Other times you’ll need to praise and cheer. 

Above all, never lie. Don’t coddle. You want the business and the team to be stronger coming out of this than they were going in. So don’t be soft and protective. Instead, be the Chief Servant and serve them. 

Build confidence, resilience and resolve all along the way.

Couple those first two things together and that’s how you’ll do it. Communication and collaboration will help forge stronger connections throughout the company. Leverage that. Foster it. 

You’ll encounter numerous teaching moments along the way. Use them. Remind the team how valuable this time is…time spent putting in the hard work to heal and recover (grow, innovate, etc.). 

“We’ll be bigger, stronger, faster and better in every way because we’re being battle-tested.” 

The success you can collectively experience together is invaluable. Preach it. Walk it.

Above all, don’t complain or whine. Don’t lament how hard it is. Don’t resist the positive impact of the adversity. And don’t let your team do it either. 

Players love to play. Soldiers love to fight. Remind them this is why you’re together. For times such as these…opportunities to make a difference! 

Don’t be surprised if you don’t find your company growing more attractive to prospective employees. Good employees are looking for a great cause. Purpose and significance are the stuff of our lives. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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