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Let’s start this final week of the Grow Great podcast – well, the final week for 2018 – by talking about a way of thinking. Mindset, attitude, mentality. Call it whatever you’d prefer, but I’m calling it exactly what it is – a way of thinking. Depending on the topic, we all have a way of thinking about that topic. It’s a combination of our personality, how we’re hardwired, coupled with how life experiences have shaped our outlook. You think the way you think for a reason. It may not be a good or great reason, but it’s not just some random thing.

We’re going to take 5 days to improve our way of thinking. To establish a high growth way of thinking.

Today is Monday, Day 1. The objective today is to come to grips with the truth that no matter how terrific we feel about our current thinking, we can grow it. Improve it. Most of us have vast room for improvement.

Let’s begin by being clear about the terminology. A high growth way of thinking isn’t merely self-confidence. Self-confidence is part of a high growth way of thinking, but it’s not the total of what it is.

Self-confidence can be difficult to truly understand. Some confuse it with bravado. Others think it’s this irrational “I can do it” no matter how strong the evidence may be that it’s impossible. One definition of self-confidence that resonates with how I view it is the belief that you are sufficiently equipped to handle whatever happens. I may not have all the tools or knowledge to handle every single thing, but I can have a quiet resolve that whatever happens to me, I’ll find a way to figure it out. Without that, we’ll be unable to develop a high growth way of thinking.

This isn’t about you having all the answers. None of us do. Mostly, we’re all going through life working hard to find our own way. To figure things out so we can decide the best course of action.

Life can punch us in the gut with something we’ve never seen before, something we didn’t see coming. At that moment, we can crumble and wilt. Or we can suffer the blow, endure some pain and grief (or any other emotions as we process the event), and ultimately resolve that we’re going to find a way through this problem.

Self-confidence isn’t a rosy outlook. It’s more significant than that. Deeper.

Life – professional or personal – will beat you down. For some, it doesn’t take very much. For others, it’s impossible. They can’t be defeated. What’s the difference? Each person sees themselves in different ways. They think differently.

Here we are on day 1 of our 5 days to a high growth way of thinking and already we can see it’s going to start deep inside us. If you were tempted to focus on what’s happening in your life – on the external circumstances of your life – stop it. Got nothing to do with it. And that’s a truth that is going to be harder for some than others.

Bad things happen to all of us. 

Have you heard people say that events and circumstances are neutral, that they’re neither good or bad? They’re wrong. There are plenty of bad events that happen. Horrible, vile things can happen. To suppose that in our mind we ascribe meaning to these things is not just ridiculous, but dangerous. There is evil in the world. I’m not going to ignore that or hide from it. Does it mean I have to participate in it, or embrace it, or relish it? Of course not. Does it mean it can’t happen to me if I don’t acknowledge it? No. It means I can choose to be deluded I guess. Right is right. Wrong is wrong.

Self-confidence includes the ability to see the bad for what it is, bad. It’s the resolve to not give in to it. To not allow it to have greater sway in your life than it should.

A knock awakens the house. It’s 3 am. It’s a loud banging knock, clearly intended to wake the house. At the door stand two detectives in cheap suits. After they identify themselves they inquire who you are. You confirm your identity. They’re sad to tell you that there’s been an accident. Somebody in your family has been killed. Don’t tell me that’s a neutral event.

Your knees buckle. Literally. You fall to the floor, crushed at the news. Minutes earlier you were sound asleep, perhaps enjoying a pleasant dream. Your whole world is rocked.

Similar things can happen to us as business owners and CEOs. News hits us out of the blue and suddenly we’re breathless, nauseated at the dilemma.

Time passes. Minutes, hours, maybe days. Over that time something happens. We’re able to get past that initial shock. Everybody has experienced this. Time doesn’t solve it, but time enables us to build up the self-confidence necessary to believe we’ll figure out what to do.

Now you may better understand why I lean so heavily on the phrase, “You’ll figure it out.” I’m working hard to express confidence in your ability to do that. Come on. You own the business. You’re leading the business. You’ve proven able to get this far. Why shouldn’t I think you can go further? Why shouldn’t YOU think that?

Again, this isn’t about you having all the necessary answers. You’ve faced plenty of things for the first time, things that were beyond your experiences. What happened? You figured it out. Some things may have taken you longer than others. Some things may have been much more difficult, but you still figured it out. You got through it.

I want you to look at your past successes. Don’t fret about the failures. They’re there, too. We’re not ignoring them because they’ve taught us valuable lessons, but today let’s concentrate on the bad things – the challenging issues – that have occurred and how we endured them or overcame them. Yes, I said endured. Some things can’t be fixed, they just have to be successfully endured. That 3 am knock at the door? Nobody is going to overcome that. That outcome can’t be changed. It can successfully be dealt with though.

You’ve done this your entire life. Personally and professionally.

As a business owner, you’ve successfully navigated lots of dangerous waters. You’ve also sailed your share of tranquil seas where you could enjoy the sunshine and breeze. Today, dwell on those. Think of the specifics. Meditate on those successes. Dissect them if you’d like. I want you to hold them close today. Leverage them to crowd out any doubt you may have. The game is to ignore that little voice that says, “You won’t be able to figure THIS out.” Yes, you will. Because you always have.

It doesn’t mean your invincible or infallible. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll fail. But those are moments in time, temporary outcomes. Look at the final score. When you do you’ll realize that you have always found a way to figure it out – even if figuring it out meant getting past making the wrong decision initially. Battles are lost in winning wars. You’re a warrior with a winning past. That’ll translate into a winning future, too!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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We talk quite a lot about being intentional and purposeful in who you surround yourself with, but today let’s fairly consider naturally occurring peer support. Professional (intentional and purposeful) peer advantage isn’t something everybody wants. And unless or until somebody wants to lean into the advantage of being surrounded by others who can help…they won’t take advantage of it. Or even accept that it could help.

A common refrain among some entrepreneurs is how they just let things happen organically. Chance encounters. Friends. Acquaintances. From the pool of people who come and go in our lives, some feel it’s a suitable pool from which organic peer support “just happens.” Every single person who has ever expressed that to me when asked, “Does that work well for you?” confesses, “No!”

For good reason. There’s no design behind it. No intention. No structure or framework. No growth purpose.

Just yesterday I encountered the phrase that serves as today’s title – “naturally occurring peer support.” It was in a Wired article titled, “Social Media Is Ruining Our Minds—It Also Might Save Them.” Researchers found that some online communities can foster genuinely nurturing environments for people suffering from mental health problems. They observed this “naturally occurring peer support” in YouTube comments, of all places.

Social media is full of trolls and ill-behaved people. Much of it innocuous, but some of it quite damaging. As a longtime member of the podcasting community and blogging community, I can tell you many people are not only distracted by trolls and haters, but some content creators can obsess about them. Engagement is what we crave, but sadly, bad behavior can ruin it. Me? I’ve never consistently allowed comments on my website. As much as I enjoy discussions, even lively ones where people disagree, I decided almost 20 years ago I wasn’t going to provide a forum for people to behave poorly. Besides, I don’t like the anonymity used by so many ill-behaving people. So I’ve been intentional to not allow it on my websites.

Sounds like I’m overly cynical, and I am…but I’m simultaneously optimistic about people. I truly think people – most people – would be good, and perhaps even better if they only knew how. I would hope that naturally occurring peer support is an indication of that. Human beings rally.

Every rally needs a leader.

Somebody in the community has a need. People come together to support that person or family. Somebody has to make it happen. Others may chime in to provide support for the leader, but these efforts don’t “just happen.”

Viral videos are often described as organic, or things that just hit. But if you reverse engineer them you’ll likely see lots of intentional efforts. No guarantees they’ll go viral, but strategies and tactics deployed to give them the best chance. Similar to community support for a cause, some hit bigger than others based largely on the intentional actions taken by people leading the parade. Even organic happenings have explanations.

I’m confident that each of us can better leverage the people who already surround us. Maybe these are naturally occurring peer support structures, but “naturally” presupposes they “just happen.” I’m not sure that’s true. Consider the YouTube comments that prove supportive of people struggling with mental health issues. Trolls and haters could lead the parade, fostering an increase in that behavior in the comments. But supporters, people with empathy and encouragement could take the lead and shut down the haters. Trolls could even become supportive as they see the shift in the comments. Most of us are attracted to join the community. Some of us are compelled to be contrarians, dead set on going against the flow. But if the crowd is vocal enough, courageous enough — they can shout down the haters and trolls.

Do things “just happen”?

Maybe, but perhaps I’m just too wired to believe we control and influence our lives. The opposing view just doesn’t appeal at all to me. That we’re victims of random chance or organic encounters.

“Control your own destiny or somebody else will.” -Jack Welch

I embrace that truth.

Let’s talk about peer support. Better yet, let’s talk about people support – from peers or anybody else who can help us.

First, I want to flip it around and talk about our ability to help others. Better yet, our opportunity to help others.

It doesn’t feel right to me to have us focus on what we can get before first talking about what we can give. Naturally occurring peer support begins with somebody bent on serving. A YouTube commenter gets the ball rolling by being supportive. Likely it’s somebody with high empathy wanting to offer some encouragement to a complete stranger. They’re probably not expecting anything in return other than the good feeling they get from helping somebody.

Do the people who surround you see you as that kind of valuable resource? 

If not, then that’s job 1. Serve others.

Stop expecting everybody to serve you. Expect more from yourself. Give more of yourself.

This is why professional (purposeful and intentional) peer advantage isn’t ideal for everybody. Some people are takers, refusing to help others. Self-centered, ego-driven and smartest-guy-in-the-room kind of people are a bad fit. They’ll wreck the ability of people to derive the benefits of the peer advantage. It’s a bit like the person who dominates a conversation circle, always bringing the conversation back to themselves. Nobody enjoys being in their company. We mostly endure them.

It’s the right thing to do – serving others. That’s all the reason we need for it. Not because we hope it’ll lead to somebody serving us. Or because we’re buttering somebody up so we can take advantage of them in the future. We do it because we can and we want to.

Is that a naturally occurring form of support? Well, it’s natural in the sense that maybe it’s befitting our personality, but we make the choice to serve. We decide who, when and how. It doesn’t “just happen.”

Naturally occurring peer support happens when people suffer a tragic event. Death is a big one.

Sadly, no matter how well intended, the peer support often falls terribly short. Grieving people know. Folks show up en masse for the funeral and the short time just before and after. Then people go back to their lives, leaving the grieving person to fend for themselves.

Good people. Great people. People who want to help. People who may feel they are helping. But it’s a moment in time where mostly people are doing what they think is best. Sadly, it’s often ineffective, providing little help to the person suffering. Sure the signs of support and the outpouring of love make people feel good that their loved one was loved so…and now is missed. But practically speaking, the deeper connection required to address deeper issues is beyond the reach of most.

Then next Thursday happens and people are left to deal alone with their grief.

There was no structure, framework or coordinated intention. No leadership. Lots of individual effort. Except for food. Somebody will lead the parade of dishes to be delivered to the home to make sure the grieving family is fed. It’s the main structure we all know and understand. So it’s what we do.

Parents, grandparents, mentors, children, co-workers, employees, suppliers, partners, church friends, neighbors…you are surrounded with lots of people who need YOU and what you can offer. You don’t need permission or any formal invitation. This is about you doing whatever you can do to make a bigger impact on these people in your life. It’s about you not waiting until you feel things “just happen.” It’s about developing a plan where you can really deliver value. My friend Leo Bottary calls it a “people plan” in his new book, What Anyone Can Do: How Surrounding Yourself with the Right People Will Drive Change, Opportunity, and Personal Growth.

Be intentional and purposeful, even in your contributions to naturally occurring peer support. Think about what you can do, not for yourself, but for them. Reframe your intentions and actions. Make it about what’s best for them, not you. Taking food to a grieving family may be helpful, but maybe asking them about their favorite restaurant is a better strategy. Then give them a gift card so they can get out of the house and enjoy a few minutes of enjoyment. Or maybe two weeks after the funeral when everybody has retreated back to their own lives you step forward to offer them something you know will serve them.

Be thoughtful. Be creative. Be intentional.

Don’t be consumed with wanting to do some big, grandiose thing. Do the simple thing nobody will do. The most thoughtful, considerate thing you’re capable of doing. The thing they most want and need.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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“Stop overthinking it,” is empty advice. And it’s given every second of every single day. It doesn’t matter if somebody says it to you or if you say it to yourself.

It’s not specifically about overthinking, but it includes it. Some of it is hardwired. Some of it is learned. And like many traits, there can be an upside and a downside. Mostly, there can be harsh generalizations. You can spot it by the language used. OVERthinking emphasizes the over part, not the thinking part. Does it presuppose that there’s an ideal amount of thinking, but the second you go over, then you’re now in that land of “too much.”

Can you really think too much? Is that really the issue?

Nope.

The real issue is inaction.

The real issue is not seeing things as they may really be.

The real issue is BELIEF.

It’s what you believe, which is why you’re not going to talk yourself into or out of anything. And it’s why some empty-headed advice isn’t going to work either.

“Stop overthinking it.” 

“Don’t do that.”

“Do this.”

Overthinking is synonymous with anything else you feel may be a constraint. Or the things that truly are constraints. But it’s more precise than that. It’s part of you. It’s in you. It’s how you see things. It’s your belief.

It all depends on how you think about it. It depends on what you think.

Translation: It all hinges on what you believe. It’s a faith thing.

Not religious faith, but faith.

Change your actions. Easier said than done, but easier done than changing beliefs. Plus, you don’t have to change your beliefs in order to change or improve your behaviors or actions! Changing your actions can and will lead to a change in beliefs.

Chicken and egg. It’s a longstanding quandary. Except we spend an inordinate time in a senseless debate. It doesn’t matter. And we may be wrong.

Beliefs really matter!

But do they matter more than actions? Believe your way to something without doing anything. Go ahead. Try it.

Talk to yourself some more. Tell yourself to stop it. Tell yourself to change your beliefs. Tell yourself to change your actions. Just keep talking. Don’t DO anything. See how it works out.

Try something. Figure it out.

Here’s the deal. You can work really hard and long on trying to figure it out in your head. Or your mouth. But you’ll never know if it’ll work or not. You won’t know if you’ve figured anything out unless or until you try something.

Then, based on the outcome, you’ll learn. If you give it enough of a try you’ll figure out what works and what doesn’t. Along the way, you’ll start to believe some new things, and let go of some old things. Maybe.

“If the map doesn’t agree with the ground the map is wrong.”   -Gordon Livingston

Put another way, reality trumps what you think. And yet what you think becomes your reality. It’s the proverbial catch-22.

Self-Improvement Done With A Live Audience

The reason you can’t talk yourself out of overthinking is that you need help from other people. We may be able to self-diagnose but we can’t always self-remedy our problems. Self-help isn’t selfish help or alone help. It’s work best done in the presence of and with the help of OTHERS.

The map doesn’t always agree with the ground. Sometimes our eyes don’t even accurately see the ground as it truly is. Perspective. Vantage points. Blind spots. Beliefs. They’re all in play as we navigate life.

Behind every corner is a paradox, often making things even more cloudly and confusing.

For example, you can’t talk yourself out of overthinking, but you can talk yourself into overthinking. You can embrace thinking about something so much you do nothing. Busy with analyzing things eight ways to Sunday you can get NOTHING accomplished. You can also make it make sense in your head.

Self-improvement with a live audience – meaning, with real people surrounding you (people who can help you) is another paradox. It demands that you both care what others say and do (and think) while at the same time not caring at all what they say, think or do.

Push-Pull

It’s about getting things done. Performance. Achievement. Accomplishment.

Thinking about it won’t make it happen. Fretting about what somebody may say, or how they may feel, or what they may do won’t make it happen either.

Thinking about it the right way can help spur you to make it happen though. Having empathy for the people you approach – all those people who won’t take your call, or people disinterested in your offer – will help you keep going forward to make it happen. You’ll keep going, taking more actions every day as you push forward.

The push to be empathetic and the pull to not care one whit what anybody thinks.

The push to take actions – just knowing enough, thinking enough of what your next actions should be – and the pull to be intentional, purposeful and strategic.

The push to just act, even mindlessly versus the pull to see three steps ahead.

The push to plan versus the pull to ditch planning altogether, choosing rather to act.

Yes, what you think matters. What you believe matters even more. But in the battle between your thoughts and feelings and your behavior…your actions…it’s your actions that will provide the success.

Testing In The Real World

How will you test your thoughts? Feelings? Beliefs?

You can run every conceivable scenario through your head ’til the cows come home and you’re no better off hours later than when you first began. It’s all make-believe. It’s not real.

Until you do something.

The second you take action you start getting feedback. And feedback is the stuff you need in order to figure it out. Is the action helping you succeed or not? You can know, but not if you keep the actions bottled up in your head.

What if you’re wrong? What if you think it won’t work so you never try? Well, congrats…you win the prize for being right. But why not try it, even if you don’t believe in it, to find out? What have you got to lose? NOTHING.

Do nothing and you won’t succeed. Do something – even if it’s something you’re unsure of, or something you’re certain won’t work – and find out.

The title today speaks to how we often try to fix what ails us with everything except doing something. That’s the point of today’s episode. Stop trying to fix yourself. Just jump in and do something. Something you’re not currently doing. Something different. Try something you’ve never tried before.

If something is working, then do more of it. If something isn’t working, then tweek it to see if you can change the outcome. If something isn’t working and it’s never worked, no matter how much you adjust, then ditch it. Move on.

Forget what anybody says. Forget what anybody does. Forget what anybody thinks. Respect them. Be thoughtful, but quietly give each of them the stiff arm and shove them aside as you work harder to figure it out.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Back in the 1970’s a Dallas consultant, Bill Oncken, created a seminar entitled, “Managing Management Time.” In 1984 I bought the book.

Monkey, monkey…who’s got the monkey? is far deeper than a productivity question. It’s about priorities, emotions, time, urgency, importance and the work we get done. It’s also about the drivers behind the work, the why of the work. I’d urge you to find a copy of the book and dive into it, but today I’d like to give you a sample taste of a few of the ideas.

For every monkey there are two parties involved: one to work it and another to supervise it.

It’s about owning the work. Too many managers (and leaders) rob their people of taking the monkey. People want their own monkey. That is, they want to own their work. Sadly, managers can take from them the purpose and rewards of work by picking up monkeys not rightfully theirs. 

But I’m in charge, says the manager! Well, bully for you, Mr. Manager, but that doesn’t mean you should go around picking up every monkey you see. That includes the ones you think you could handle better. 

“I’m stuck doing everything,” says the manager. Yet, at every turn, he’s busy picking up monkeys that don’t rightfully belong to him. The more he picks up, the more people expect him to pick up. Eventually, his schedule is packed and his staff lacks work. They’ve got more time on their hands while he has no time at all. It’s his own fault. And the monkeys keep on coming. They don’t stop simply because the manager has no time left.

Managers are the problem. Quite often the manager (the boss) is the constraint on effective and efficient work. All because they’re busy working on the monkeys belonging to their people. 

Things not worth doing are not worth doing well.

I really wish I could have known Mr. Oncken. His humor is right up my alley. He’s spot on in so many things. And it’s not because I was exposed to this stuff when I was much younger because it holds up nicely. It’s because he was so brilliantly simple and straight-forward. Conveying the truth in often humorous, but effective ways. 

Oncken dashed off to the office one Saturday morning, as he had often done before in an attempt to catch up. Staring at the paperwork he needed to get done it dawned on him he was behind not in his own work, but in the work of his people. He wasn’t able to get behind in his work because he never got started on it. He was too busy doing the work for his people. The more he did their work, the more work they gave him to do. And it was completely his fault. He was a compulsive monkey-picker-upper. 

Every family picture excluded him because he wasn’t there. He was busy back at the office handling monkeys that didn’t even belong to him. The more he did things FOR people, the more they expected him to keep on doing things for them instead of doing them for themselves. 

Serve your people by insisting they do them for themselves. There are simply too many things that are not worth doing, much less agonizing over how to do them well. And too many of these things don’t belong to you to do in the first place. 

The more you get rid of your people’s monkeys, the more time you have for your people.

This is where leadership enters. And where it’s so vitally needed. 

You need time for your people. Not to do their work for them, but to serve them with vision, mission and finding out how they can achieve their goals in the context of what the company is trying to achieve. There’s no time for that important work if you’re busy doing their work for them.

Death to the micro-manager. If you take pride in being one, then you’re proud of being like that old-time street organ grinder with a monkey on a leash. It’s a trap and it won’t help your company grow. Or your people. Or yourself. 

Micro-managing is a surefire way to stunt all growth. Stop it. Get over yourself. You’re not that important. And if you think you are, then I pity the people who work inside your organization. They’ll never grow. 

People will act if you allow them. Or you can micro-manage and they’ll wait for you to act. Your choice.

The best way to develop responsible people is to give them responsibility. 

I’ll leave you with a summary of Mr. Onken’s four rules of monkey management:

Rule 1: Describe the monkey. Identify and specify what needs to be done. 

Rule 2: Assign the monkey. Every monkey should be owned and handled at the lowest level consistent with the monkey’s welfare. The monkey is the work. 

Rule 3: Insure the monkey. Every monkey that leaves your presence on the back of one of your team members must be insured by one of two policies: a) Recommend, then act or b) Act, then advise.

Rule 4: Check on the monkey. Proper follow up means healthier monkeys. You don’t just leave them alone. Every monkey needs a check up appointment.

If you always agree with your people, one of you isn’t necessary.

Onken said it in reverse. If you always agree with your boss, then one of you isn’t necessary. But since you’re the boss, let’s put that accurate twist on it. You may think being surrounded by YES people is the path to higher achievement. It’s not. 

No more than you taking over every detail of the work that happens inside your organization. Get over yourself. Lose your ego and pride. Give it to your people instead. Let them feel the sense of purpose and accomplishment in getting their own work done. Help them achieve more by focusing on them instead of the monkeys that rightfully belong on their back. 

More monkeys will be properly handled as you develop the skills to serve those handling the monkeys. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the path to hitting the 3rd leg of the business building trifecta of NOT GOING CRAZY IN THE PROCESS.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:19 — 13.6MB)

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Yesterday we talked about how as the CEO or business owner you may want to hole up and do four quick passes through the budget with some hi-liters. RED is NO. GREEN is GO. YELLOW is I Don’t Know.

It’s a good idea to have your leadership team follow suit with whatever you do. In this case, I want my team to do the same thing so when we come together we can more easily discuss each line item. If you’re doing things one way, and each person on your leadership team is doing something different, it can make the conversation more difficult. Not impossible, just more difficult. But do whatever works best for you and your team. 

The major point I want you to consider is “putting everything on trial for its life.” Make each line item live and die on its own merit. Be relentless. 

I’m not terribly fond of cost containment. I more fond of cost squeezing. “Cost creep” can stop you in your tracks. It’ll derail momentum if you don’t incorporate the ongoing habit of the relentless pursuit of profits. 

Don’t be stingy. Be frugal. There’s a difference.

Budgeting demonstrates values. Specifically, the budget will display what YOU value. I can glance at a budget and determine if the owner cares about developing himself or herself. I can glance at it and see if the owner cares about developing employees. I can spot where the owner may have some paranoia or special concerns. I can spot where the owner has pet indulges, too. It all comes out in the wash. 

Well, let’s pick up now with your meeting with the leadership team. I’m not terribly fond of making this a marathon endeavor. That is, I don’t care to have meeting after meeting after meeting about budgets. Truth is, I don’t care about having meeting after meeting after meeting about much of anything. Meet as often as you need to, but don’t meet any more than you have to. The key is to prepare BEFORE you meet. 

If I’ve gone through the list 4 times and each member of the leadership has gone through it 4 times, then we’re ready to meet. I know my speed going through the list 4 times doesn’t likely look like theirs because they’ve each got things they’re willing to fight for, and perhaps other things they’d like to fight against. But hopefully they care about each other and we can enjoy a civil, even vigorous debate. I encourage it. Remember the goal is to put each line item on trial for its life. That won’t happen if everybody enters the room without the courage to fight a little bit. 

I don’t foster the fight, but I do work intentionally to build a safe environment where we all know we’re not there for any reason other than to make the company as great as it can be. Egos need to be left behind. Budgets aren’t about pushing forward somebody’s career agenda or anything else. They’re about utilizing resources to help the company grow. As the lion tamer in the room, my job (your job as the CEO and owner) is to make sure the lions behave. Serve them well. Keep everything safe so people can fully express themselves. And don’t shut down disagreement. Debate and disagreement can (and should) happen without thinking it’s detrimental. Disagree, but don’t be disagreeable. 

The Team Meeting

Everybody should be fully prepared for the discussion. Put a time limit on the meeting. Start on time. Stop on time. Set aside whatever time you think may be needed. It’s wise to ask the team how long they think they’ll need. Let everybody know in advance. Hint: this meeting may very well be a full-day meeting. It depends on the size and complexity of your business. I suggest you limit it to one full day, but make it shorter if you can.

You can begin anywhere you’d like. Just lead. Don’t take a vote or you’ll start the session debating about the least important things. Set the tone and pace. 

I just have everybody start with a clean, unmarked list along with their own marked list. I don’t make color copies of my 4-pass-results because I want the interaction and I want each person fully engaged. Staring at a list of what I’ve done is different than looking at a clean copy, listening to me go through each pass. They’re paying much closer attention by having to notice which color I assigned to a line item. 

RED is NO. GREEN is GO. YELLOW is I-Don’t-Know. And no color means I don’t think it needs any adjustment. 

All four areas get discussion if any member of the team wants. I’m not dictating the elimination of discussion. Every line item is on trial for its life. 

I go through all four passes with the team making their notes, marking their clean copy to match my own. By the time I’ve reviewed all four passes with them, I’ve now gone over it four times by myself and four times with the team. I’ve also now been able to articulate the four passes. There’s value in all that. For me and the team. 

I’m then going to start with RED for the discussion. Line by line we go through the RED hi-lighted items. 

Some team members will agree. Some won’t. Let the discussion move forward. Push every team member to listen carefully to the thoughts and ideas of others…with one goal – TO UNDERSTAND. We want to understand each other as fully as possible. Yes, this is easier said than done, but if you insist on it and handle moderating the conversation well, it can happen. 

There’s one trick I’d encourage you to deploy. Get a small hourglass that is a lot less than an hour. Three minutes. Five minutes. Whatever suits you. Once you launch the conversation about a specific line item turn over the glass so the clock is ticking. Here’s the rule: When the sand has completely run through the glass, we’re going to take a vote. Do we want to devote more time to this item right now? Do we want to move on with agreement on what should be done? Do we want to move on with agreement that nothing should be done? Do whatever the group decides. 

The goal is to make some conclusions on every line item, but some things are going to be more complex than others. I don’t put pressure on this meeting to be our final concluding meeting. I would put pressure on this meeting to distill the list down into there being just a few (very few) line items that may demand deeper conversation. Work to get most of the budget done in this meeting. Again, your business may require more discussion, but keep in mind —- the preparation of the budget should have been interactive, meaning the team had a big hand in the preparation of the line items. It’s not like everybody is seeing these numbers for the first time. If they are, you’re doing it wrong. 

I’m fond of pace. Yes, it’s partly speed, but it’s not thoughtless speed. Pace forces people to get to the point. It forces people to express themselves quickly and clearly.

After we’ve discussed an item for 3 or 5 minutes we work to consensus. If only one person wants to continue the conversation, we do it. I’m looking for a unanimous vote without pressure. Dissenters aren’t made to feel bad. 

You’ll find that some line items won’t take up the entire time on the “hourglass.” Others will take longer. That’s okay. 

Try to get through the RED, then take a break before moving to GREEN. 

Rinse and repeat. Do the same thing through GREEN, then take another break before going to YELLOW. 

Then do the final pass. The objective is to produce a budget that won’t be the final version, but one that will lead to the final version. Don’t rush through this pass because this is often the most important pass. 

All along the way people will have debated their cause, explained why they disagree, or agree. Some will have moved in their position. Others will have changed completely on a few things. Again, keep preaching the point…

To Put Every Line Item On Trial For Its Life

One other vital point – push the vision and mission of the company in the budget. Don’t allow anybody to spoil that. If developing people matters to you and somebody wants to cut or eliminate investments in programs that do that because they’re looking for money to support something else, you must remain true to what matters most. Explain it. Preach it. If necessary, impose your will. But hopefully your leadership team is completely on board with you and your vision (that’s how it should be), that you don’t have this problem. 

By the time you work through the 4th pass of the budget with your team everybody should be prepared to then go back to work out the final numbers. Encourage them to do this. I prefer to have them do it without my involvement. Mostly because I want them to own it and I feel I’ve now done my job of pushing the debate forward. From here on out, I’m going to trust them. You do whatever you need to do. 

Get the final numbers in place. Get complete agreement. It may mean somebody surrenders something, but that’s okay. You want every member of your leadership team to sign off on the final numbers. Not pressured to do it, but to honestly be agreeable that these final numbers are the best numbers for moving the company forward. 

It’s fine if the team wants to debate it amongst themselves some more. Leave them do whatever work they want to do. Put somebody, likely your CFO, in charge of leading the parade. Give them a deadline. Make it reasonable, but quick. Don’t let this drag out. Remember our title, FUN with budgets. We want this to be meaningful, profitable work – not sheer drudgery. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!