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Happy Saturday.

I tire of hearing about business owners experiencing exploding marriages and families. More than that, I get really sick of hearing folks chant, “Hustle! Hustle! Hustle!” inferring that success requires complete devotion to career, business building or whatever other achievements we chase. Hard work is required. That’s for sure. But to assume that we can’t build successful businesses at the expense of everything else in life is a lie. 

I have much more respect for the business owner who is also a good dad, or mom than the business owner who adds another few million bucks to the top (or bottom) line, but they destroy their family to do it. If a person can’t treat their own family with more respect than that, then I suppose we should hope they get whatever money they pursue because that’s all their going to end up with. 

Faith, family and career are the top three things for me. In that order. It’s non-negotiable. It doesn’t mean I don’t care deeply about career. It just means in the battle between the 3, that’s going to come last. You’ve heard me say repeatedly, “If everything is important, then nothing is important.” Life is made up of priorities. We each have to establish our own. I don’t care what yours may be, but IF you have a family…especially kids…and you treat them poorly, then you’re a bad person. 

But that’s not YOU. 

You’re likely battling the juggle. Trying desperately to figure out how to make it all work. Some days you pull it off. Other days you fail. You experience times where you’re banished to the doghouse because you’ve not met the expectations of your spouse or your family. Sometimes you feel like you can’t win for losing. It’s depressing. 

Pressures from the work front seem never-ending. Ditto for the home front. It’s like everywhere you look people are needing another piece of you. You feel spent. Empty. Hollow. Worn out. 

I don’t have an easy button to sell you. Or give you (if I actually had one, I’m enough of a capitalist I’d be selling it for as much as I could get). Well, okay…I might give YOU one. But we’re spared that dilemma because no such button exists. 

Each of us has to figure it out. My family may not look or operate like yours. You’re going to have to commit to figuring this out with your family. And that’s the formula! Do it WITH your family. 

The family success formula can be distilled into one simple, but sometimes difficult task – communicate with each other. I’m not saying talk to each other. Communicate with each other. That means you need to first listen, then understand. Make sure you clearly understand. Then, when you do speak, make sure you’re clearly understood. 

Here are a few rules.

1. Be kind. Always. This isn’t about sitting down demanding what you want. Or acting defensive. Be a leader and show your family that no matter what, you’re going to be kind. Ask them to commit to that, too.
2. Don’t blame. We all make time for the things we care most about. If you love your family, you’ll make time. If you don’t, you won’t. I’m working from the assumption that you do love them. I get how torn you are sometimes, but don’t blame work, the office, your mate, or anybody (or anything) for your failures. Or your pressures. 
3. Be honest. It’s okay to express your feelings. If you refuse, then how is anybody supposed to understand what’s going on with you? If your family isn’t honest with you, how will that make YOU feel? Everybody needs to commit to honesty. Without blame. 
4. Don’t focus on what isn’t working, or what doesn’t work. Find solutions for what will work. This is what you do at the office. You don’t let your team sit around whining about things, lamenting why they can’t have what they want. No, you impose your will and force them to do what’s in the best interest of the company (and their careers). You make them concentrate on what steps can be taken to fix things. Do the same thing at home. Talk with your family so together you can all find workable solutions.
5. Accept and celebrate progress. It’s fine if you don’t go from being Rotten Dad or Mom to Super Mom or Dad. The objective is to put in the work to make sure the family is succeeding with you filling your role at the highest level possible. It may take time to get where you want to be, but you can improve today. And your family members can do the same. Don’t pat yourself on the back, but be quick to pat others on their back. Applaud their effort. 
6. Keep putting in the work. Don’t slack off. Make good on what you commit to. Don’t promise things you won’t back up. Make good on them. 

I know business owners who have never done this. There is constant family stress. They’re never going to hit the 3rd leg of the business building trifecta – “not going crazy in the process.” It’s not even a remote dream for them. They’ve resigned that it is what it is. And they eventually just stop caring. Don’t join their ranks.

Give your family the priority they deserve. Form an agreement so everybody knows what to expect. Be accountable to them for your end of the agreement. 

More often than not, I’ve found business owners just avoid having these conversations. Instead, they and their family endure private, unspoken stress of failed expectations. Expectations that have just never been discussed. They may be completely unreasonable. Maybe not. Either way, they need to be fully discussed with an agreement formed. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:25 — 8.0MB)

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Culture glorifies the unicorn. A unicorn is a company that started, scaled up and broke the BILLION dollar annual revenue barrier. Back in 2015 it was calculated that your startup had a 1.28% chance of becoming a unicorn. I don’t know if that has improved over the last few years or not. Mostly, I don’t care. Because small business is where my business love affair thrives. 

Small can seem insulting to some. I’ve encountered small business owners who are put off being considered small. They operate companies that do in excess of $100 million. They don’t feel small. Certainly not insignificant. They feel small means insignificant. It doesn’t. 

The popular designation is SMB.

SMB is an abbreviation for small and medium-sized business, sometimes seen as small and midsized business. A business with 100 or fewer employees is generally considered small, while one with 100-999 employees is considered to be medium-sized. Sometimes there’s a tight correlation between headcount and revenues. Sometimes, not.

Who cares?

I’m in the interview phase of assembling two professional peer advisory groups comprising of small business owners from around the country. These are online, virtual groups that will meet using a video conferencing platform. Visit ThePeerAdvantage.com (these groups are branded The Peer Advantage by Bula Network) and you’ll see where I’m liberal in how I view “small” or “medium.” But my viewpoint glorifies small and medium-sized businesses. They’re the heartbeat of our economy. I’m not romantic about it. Just practical. 

And it’s where I’ve spent my life. Operating companies that are quite a distance from unicorn status. Companies that wouldn’t be considered “mom ‘n pop” either. Sustainable, thriving, long-term companies competing successfully year after year. 

Stop comparing your business to the juggernauts you hear about. Tech stars get the press. The latest Amazon acquisition for hundreds of millions. Big business has always dominated the press. Today, they also dominate our culture. But they don’t dominate everything. 

You’re making your mark. Whether you employ 5 or 500. Whether you’re generating $5 million or $500 million. Don’t fixate on your size. Instead, I’m trying to nudge you toward a different goal…growing great. And you get to define “great.” Nobody else. Not the SBA. Not the press. Not even your family or friends. YOU.

If you’ve made it this far then you’re doing great. But that doesn’t mean you can’t grow even greater. 

I encounter too many business owners who get stuck comparing themselves to others. They preoccupy themselves with industry trends, competition, the latest social media buzz, buddies or acquaintances who appear to be operating more successful businesses and countless other things that make them feel inferior. Make them privately feel like they’re failing. 

I know small business owners who generate a few million bucks a year in annual revenue, earn a decent (way above the US average) wage and manage to hit a double-digit percentage net bottom line. Life is good. 

I know other business owners and CEOs operating much, much bigger enterprises – some pushing unicorn status of $1B – with all the perks you can imagine. You know we call them “trappings?” Because they trap us. Sophistication. Fancy. And often stuck with no apparent way out. Secretly, they’d give up quite a lot to get their life back because they’re not able to hit the third leg of the trifecta of successful business building – “not going crazy in the process.” All they do is go crazy!

Be careful what you wish for. 

I was speaking with a successful business owner who, like me, enjoyed being a home-body. For some reason travel was the topic. I lamented how I hated the process of traveling but didn’t mind so much being there. Getting there and getting back home was what I most dreaded. He agreed. We began thinking out loud of the business owners and leaders we know who are required to travel extensively because of the scope and scale of their company. We agreed that it would be an awful existence for either of us. To those who may love it, great. Power to them. But we both know owners who must do it, and they don’t love it. They hate it. 

All that to say this, there are tremendous advantages of being a small (or medium) sized business. So often the remedy remains the same, gratitude. Thankfulness. Focusing on what we’ve got instead of focusing on what we don’t have. 

If you’d like, go back and listen to a show I did months ago entitled, Small Business, Big Impact. Your size doesn’t diminish your significance or impact. Truth is, you’re making much bigger waves than you may think. Stop looking at the bigger ships. Be proud of the ship you captain. Work hard to make it the best it can be by first devoting yourself to be your very best. Show your employees the way. Lead. Be proud of the description “small business.” Because that’s all it is, a description.

Only you will determine whether or not it’s a condition. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:39 — 8.2MB)

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The first leg of winning the business trifecta is getting new customers. Every small business needs them. The problem comes after we get them. We tend to think, “Well, that’s done!” — and we quickly move on to get the next customer. Like dating the girl we hope to marry, once we get a ring on her finger we may forget how hopelessly in love we were. And how hard we woo’d her. So we stop. We neglect her. Take her for granted, then we’re puzzled when she leaves. If it can (and it does) happen in marriages, don’t be so hardheaded to avoid thinking it can’t happen to your business. It can. It will. Unless you stop it.

It’s a natural, but stupid reaction. When we need it, we chase it. When we’ve got it, we stop chasing and start taking it for granted. 

Until it’s gone.

In this case the “it” is a “they” or “them,” our customers. 

The short answer to today’s title is ongoing wooing. Never stop.

Husbands, don’t stop dating your wife. Ever. 

Wives, don’t stop dating your husbands. Ever.

Business owners, don’t stop wooing your customers. Ever. 

If your business is transactional, it doesn’t matter. This week I made an online purchase for some pool chemicals. I was a first-time customer. It was 100% done online. Once I hit the purchase button the site took over a minute, then gave me an error screen. I jumped on their online chat to find out what I should do. I sure didn’t want to order it twice. The chat person immediately responded with an apology because their system did that with an entire batch of customers, including me. But while we were chatting I got an email order confirmation, gave the order number to the chat person and she confirmed my order was in and all was well. 

Will I buy from them again? Likely. Even though this first order encountered a problem, they responded well. And I’m fanatical about customer service. There’s no excuse for any business to fail to deliver extraordinary service. I know that because I’ve spent my life operating businesses. And I know it’s a choice! 

It’s also a choice to keep valuing the people who said YES…even if they said YES months ago. When we take customers for granted we’re choosing to…and that’s insulting. To them. It’s foolish for us. But we still do it.

Here’s my curveball. Stop taking your employees for granted. Don’t lie to me and tell me that you’ll admit you can take existing or past customers for granted because you’re so focused on getting new customers…but in the same breath try to convince me you still woo your employees. You don’t. Let me interview your employees and they’ll tell me the truth. 

Be kind. Be grateful. Get off your high horse and embrace humility. Stay hungry, but be content. And just like we talked about yesterday…it’s all within your power to just choose it. You get to decide your thoughts, your feelings, your beliefs, your actions. So why wouldn’t you realize you’ve got the power to keep valuing customers who said YES to your offer?

The mistake so many businesses make is putting a value on customers in order to determine the level of care they’ll provide. My pool supply purchase was just under $50. I have no idea what the lifetime value of a customer is to the company where I made my first purchase. But as a longtime pool owner, I can tell you that we spend hundreds of dollars every year. Do that for 20 years and you’re going to rack up some purchases. But they have no idea if I’ll ever purchase again. For all they know it’s my one and only purchase. Sure, they can play the odds and hope. Smart. But if they mishandle my $50 purchase they’d better know it’s over. I’ve got too many options. Online and off. 

Are you figuring your “good” customers are worthy of closer hand-holding? But the smaller (low paying) customers aren’t as worthy? 

Stop it. Value the YES. A $50 YES is important. Just as important as a $1000 YES. If you start quantifying the importance of customers by allowing that to determine if you’ll take them for granted or not, then you’re going to fail at growing as great as you can. Dazzle me when I buy a little and I’ll be more inclined to buy more. Maybe a lot. Treat me poorly (or even nonchalantly) when I spend a little, and I’ll never trust you. Worse yet, I’ll regret ever saying YES. 

Then there’s the power of what our customers say about us. Years ago business owners knew the bad mouthing customers could deliver was high, but it wasn’t nearly as high as it is now. People might tell 5, 10 or 15 people about a bad experience with us. Today, that number can be 100X or 1000X. I’ve got thousands of online connections, many of them are offline, too. And I write and podcast. I could tell thousands and thousands of people. And I’m a nobody! 

You still want to risk taking customers for granted? 

Start with the people who work for you. If you’re taking them for granted, start showing gratitude for their efforts to make your company great. Show your appreciation. You can figure out how to best do that. Dazzle them. These are people pushing your business forward every business day. They matter. Treat them like it.

Now, examine your “dating habits” with customers who have already made a purchase. They’re the second leg of the business building trifecta that I want you hit…serving existing customers better. How can you improve that? Huddle with your people. Talk with your customers. Don’t fret about your competition. They’ll just distract you. Go above and beyond. Don’t do as little as you can. Do as much as you can afford. In the longer term you’ll bury the competition. Because I know the truth. Your competition won’t make the choice you’re making. They’ll grab today’s money and never realize they’re losing until it’s too late. 

Then we’ll dance on their grave.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Subscribe to the podcast

To subscribe, please use the links below:

• Click Here to Subscribe via iTunes
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If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking Review on iTunes. It’ll help the show rank better in iTunes.

Thank you!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 5:21 — 5.3MB)

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The other day my podcast partner Leo Bottary and I recorded a conversation with Dr. Larry Senn, the godfather of company culture. He wrote his doctoral dissertation, Organizational Character as a Tool in the Analysis of Business Organizations, in 1970. You know the guy is early in the game when he predates the term, company culture! He termed it “organizational character.” He’s in his early 80’s and is a fascinating guy. 

His most recent book is entitled, The Mood Elevator: Take Charge of Your Feelings, Become a Better You (2017). You’ll be able to find the show when we release it in about a month over at WhatAnyoneCanDo.com. 

For a few years now I’ve been immersed into the practical application of brain science. Don’t worry, I’m not bright enough to wax too eloquently about it. But I can distill it into the basic elements of what I mean.

We think what we think. Sure, that includes us feeling what we feel. We choose those things. It’s completely on us.

That spurs us to believe what we believe. Yep, we make those choices, too. Nobody is pulling our strings to make us think or believe anything. 

That sparks our behaviors. What we do is completely another matter of choice for us.

And then, presto, chango — we get our outcome. The results are completely our fault. 

I realize this is an enormous disappointment for many of you who rather delight in feeling victimized. By the government. By industry regulations. By competition. By suppliers. By finance partners. By the unions. By your employees. By your customers. By the universe. By the weather. By the failure of your local professional (or university) sports teams. By your landlord. You get the idea. It’s a never-ending list of culprits who have foisted failure or difficulty on you. 

I’m sitting down with somebody who is encountering a challenge to forgive somebody. She asks, “How can I do that?” I reply, “Simple. Just decide you’re going to do it.” Nobody said “easy.” I said, “Simple.” And it is. 

The hard part is making that decision. But for many of us the harder part is understanding we can make that choice. I’m astonished at how many people refuse to accept that truth. “Well, I don’t believe it,” is a rather common refrain. Great! Refuse to believe in gravity, too. But if you step off the roof of a tall building gravity WILL kill you. Gravity doesn’t care if you believe in it or not. 

Business owners can find excuses better than most. We’ve got a million reasons why things aren’t going the way we planned them to. Our plans are terrific. These idiots who work for us can’t execute them properly. We can’t be at fault. 

We strut around naked thinking we’re robed like a King. A’hem, I mean an “Emperor.” We’re ninnies who oftentimes refuse to accept the reality that our feelings are our fault. We want control of just about everything, but we don’t always want the blame. And here we are faced with a truth that we do control – and own – our feelings, and we’re quick to surrender them to some flimsy excuse. 

Anger. Sadness. Bitterness. Jealousy. Our emotions ride the roller coaster daily. Too frequently we allow external conditions to drive the coaster. We read into things. We ascribe meanings to things. We fixate on the story we craft in our imagination. Challenge yourself to get in better touch with what you’re doing. What you’re feeling. And why. 

Today I just want to offer you one challenge: try to extend grace in every situation. That’s right. All of them. Instead of assuming the worst intention or motive, assume the best. It’s a choice you can make. Push yourself to go against the natural grain you’ve likely followed your whole life. Don’t assume the person, or the situation or the event is ill-intended. That’s what I mean by showing grace. It’s giving the benefit of the doubt to it so it won’t be so harmful to your emotions. 

What have you got to lose?

Maybe your bitterness, resentment and anger!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Subscribe to the podcast

To subscribe, please use the links below:

• Click Here to Subscribe via iTunes
• Click Here to Subscribe via RSS (non-iTunes feed)
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If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking Review on iTunes. It’ll help the show rank better in iTunes.

Thank you!