Kevin Kelly is among the brighter people on the planet. Google his name you’ll find tons of presentations. I’m exposing you to just a snippet of him today because I’ve found quite a few business people who’ve never heard of him. Proof that people we think are widely known all over the world by all kinds of groups…may not be so well known. For the past few months I have purposefully asked some business people if they know who Gary Vaynerchuk is. Or Chris Brogan? Nope.
So today, I want to expose you to Kevin Kelly, a name you may not know or recognize.
Here are a few more links to Kevin Kelly you may find interesting:
A presentation he gave to the Commonwealth Club of California (advance through the laborious introduction)
About 9 o’clock and I got hungry, again. I sprint to the kitchen, catch my breath – and begin the quest. A hunt really. It didn’t last long. One glance in the pantry and I immediately knew what I wanted. NACHOS.
Simple. Tasty. Memorable. What’s not to like? Start with a great chip. Here in Texas, that ain’t hard. Grab the shredded cheddar out of the refrigerator. Snag that jar of jalapenos and let the culinary crafting begin.
In less than 10 minutes I was swilling down water like a man who’d been in the desert for 3 days straight. I love jalapenos, but I made the mistake of scarfing down more than a handful as I prepared the nachos. They have a cumulative power that almost forced me to connect my mouth to the faucet. Good though. Very good.
I could have gone with the ever famous mac ‘n cheese, but by the time I thought about it – I was already in full blown nacho commitment. The ring was already in place and I had already said, “I do.” Too late to turn back now. Full throttle forward. It was a decision I didn’t regret. I never do.
During that late night kitchen creativity session I thought about marketing.
Good. Simple.
Hot dogs. Hamburgers. Corn dogs. Mac ‘n cheese. Nachos. French fries.
Think about these things, not for their nutritional value, but for their simplicity. And their goodness.
Don’t mistake their success with speed. Mac ‘n cheese may not be fast. Or french fries.
They’re good, simple and memorable. We crave them.
I started thinking about how complicated people make their offers…and their marketing. We think that if we keep stacking on the value, then we’ll make our offers more compelling. That ain’t necessarily true.
TV Guide
I’m old enough to remember a time when we had only 3 channels on our TV. ABC. NBC. CBS.
My grandparents subscribed to the TV Guide. There were always a few feature articles, but they didn’t subscribe for the articles. They got it for the schedule. To know when shows would be airing. Simple. Good.
Fact is, there was a time when TV Guide was more valuable than all 3 major networks combined!
Keep It Simple, Stupid
The other day I happened across some cooking show. Well, the guy whipped up a dish claiming it was super easy. Sure enough, within 10 minutes he whipped up a terrific looking recipe. But right off the bat, he’s got a tray of ingredients. Lots of them. And 10 of them were things I’d never heard of. Now, I’m not a chef, but I had NEVER heard of 10 of these items. You could turn me loose in a grocery store and I’d have no clue where to go find those items.
Of course, I did just confess that I raced to the kitchen and whipped up a plate of nachos!
People want simple. They want easy. And even if easy isn’t really easy, we can at least make it easy to grasp. Easy to understand.
Give me a brick of Velvetta, a can of Rotel, a bowl big enough to hold it all, a microwave and a bag of chips. Then give me about 30 minutes to get miserable. 😀
It’s great. Simple. Easy. Effective for filling a hungry stomach.
The next time you’re crafting an offer, think about it. Don’t be tempted to stack on the value. We don’t always have to offer a BONUS. Just offer me a great big order of crispy french fries and I’m good to go.
It’s a new feature, On Being Extraordinary. Today’s installment is fundamental. Then again, most acts of being extraordinary are actually quite simple. This story proves the point.
A lady from Europe reaches out to a North American prospect in hopes of selling her services. She’s had some email communication with the prospect through her assistant. The prospect has forwarded a PDF of some critical information about himself and the company. He’s included all of his contact information, including his name, in the PDF.
A Skype call is scheduled by the professional services firm. The time and Skype ID are included. The email says nothing about whether this Skype call will be video or audio only.
The prospect submits a connection request to the seller. She never asked for the prospects Skype ID.
At the appointed time the prospect is on Skype awaiting the call. Three minutes past the appointed time the seller calls. Immediately, she’s on video. The prospect greets her in a friendly manner, but he hasn’t got his webcam set up so he’s only on audio.
The seller immediately asks him if he’s got video ability. He tells her he wasn’t told this would be a video call. “Well, then can we reschedule?” she asks. She also calls him “William” even though all his prior correspondence says, “Bill.” His name isn’t William. It’s Bill. He decides not to correct her, wondering how long she’ll continue to call him by the wrong name.
She insists he be on video. Irked he accommodates her asking her to stand by while he plugs in a webcam to his desktop computer. Within less than 2 minutes he’s on video.
She doesn’t thank him for the effort, but does continue to call him “William.” She begins asking him questions, including some that are answered in his PDF. More than twice, he prefaces answers with, “As it says in my PDF…”
Do you think it’s going to go well for her?
You’re right. It doesn’t.
Briefly, these are the things she did terribly wrong:
She neglected to give the prospect clear instructions on how the Skype call would go. Rather than asking him to send the Skype connection request, she should have sent him one, proving that she was willing to do the heavy lifting here. Additionally, she never said that it needed to be a video call. Turns out Bill never figured out why it had to be video. She never shared a screen. It was simply the two of them talking to each other. He’d have happily obliged if he had known she wanted a video call.
She was curt, telling him she’d have to reschedule if he couldn’t get video working. Talk about pressure of the moment. Bill should have disconnected the call right then and there, but Bill’s more polite than the seller.
She called him “William” throughout the call, never once calling him by the only name appearing on prior correspondence. Bill was most unhappy about that. “It’s clear she’s not even looked at the documents I’ve sent her,” he said. “She got my name wrong and asked me questions that my document answered.”
Bill hangs up after 20 minutes wondering how the selling company has any business. He’s not buying anything they’re selling.
Now, you wanna know the irony of the whole thing?
The seller’s business is in helping companies build cultures that deliver superior customer experiences.
Yeah, Bill found that pretty funny. I found it…sad.
The practice has been around for as long as I can remember, but it’s only had a name for the past 20 years or so. Biz Dev. Business Development.
Businesses used to be focused on being independent. It was a badge of honor to do everything yourself. That was especially true of small business. A hard charging small business owner never wanted to rely on anybody else or anything else to achieve success. It was that self-made man syndrome. Thankfully, somebody figured out that was a stupid strategy.
Larger business had long practiced collaboration, sometimes even with competitors. They just have to be careful to avoid being accused of collusion. That was then. This is now.
Today, the word is interdependence, not independence. Enter the practice known as business development.
Business development is the practice and process of growing a business fast by partnering with other businesses to enter a market that might otherwise be unreachable.
Some have speculated that modern biz dev began in Silicon Valley where everybody knew everybody, and where employees often went from one company to another. I suspect that with the advent of the Internet and high technology, Silicon Valley propelled the process faster than ever before, but businesses have partnered for a long time. It was an informal, individualized process though that hinged mostly on the owner of one business seeking out the promotional help of another business man. Long before the “biz dev” title took form, we simply referred to it as “cross promotion.”
Back in the 80’s during the early years of the video revolution consumer electronics stores sold blank VHS and BETA videotapes. I was working for a consumer electronics/record and tape retailer. The owner and founder was a creative guy. He got an idea to have 3M, makers of the Scotch brand of tape, including videotape, bundle a 6-pack of tape. Then, he got Coca-Cola – the local bottler – to give away a 6-pack of COKE with the purchase of a 6-pack of VHS or BETA blank videotape. It was an outstanding cross promotion tool. We sold truckloads of blank videotape, 6 at a time.
Did it penetrate a market not otherwise available? No, not really. It just moved a lot more blank videotape. Sales skyrocketed. It could be argued that we sold blank tape to people who might not have otherwise purchased it…so that would fit the “new market” definition. But that’s a subtle, but important distinction between cross promotion and business development.
Marketing and sales types don’t likely care because we all want to drive business. We want more sales, more customers and higher profits.
Fast growth is achievable because alliances and partnerships give us the ability to reach more people, and sometimes to reach completely different people. When it’s done well, biz dev doesn’t seek just it’s own, but it seeks to benefit the strategic partners. This is where so many companies get it wrong. They know what they want, but they don’t consider what their potential partners or alliances want. Biz dev is not a one-way street. Not if it’s going to be effective in driving business fast. And not if it’s going to be sustainable growth.
Business development isn’t a gimmick. It’s not a method of spiking business. Promotion spikes business. Biz dev is a methodical, sustainable, ongoing practice that can elevate a business to heights that would otherwise be unattainable.
In 2000 the Wall Street Journal published an article about Staples. John Mahoney was the CFO of Staples at that time.
“In the world of the Internet, you never know — your friends can be your enemies, and your enemies can be your friends,” says John Mahoney, Staples’ chief financial officer.
The Lone Ranger wasn’t really alone. He had Tonto.
The Lone Ranger had Tonto. Johnny had Ed. Tom Petty has Mike Campbell.
Leaders need supporters to help them lead. I’m not talking about followers. I’m talking about the #1 follower. That someone special who the leader can’t do without. That person whose identity is so joined to the leader that they’re considered more like a team.
Inseparable really. The Lone Ranger needed Tonto. Johnny needed Ed and I’m a rabid Heartbreakers’ fan, unable to imagine Tom Petty without Mike. These are special partnerships where the two people aren’t equal – one is clearly in a position of leadership – but their work together excels in ways neither of them would otherwise realize. They both know they need each other. And they serve and support each other.
Effective leaders need a right-hand person who will provide superior support and feedback. It’s not a role just anybody can fill. It takes a special breed of person to give of themselves in a way to help somebody else.
Ego and envy usually get in the way. People can find it difficult to give of themselves so fully as to support somebody else’s success. But that’s exactly what must happen if you’re going to be a remarkable #2.
“I’m not gonna invest my career in him,” he tells me. The conversation had centered around taking responsibility for one’s career, something I think we should all do. But I’m sitting here wondering if I’ve been misunderstood.
“You have to invest in people though,” I exclaim. “Do you disagree?”
“Depends on how you define invest, I suppose,” he says.
What ensues is a long discussion about the limits of service and how that may impact our lives and our careers. We talk about rebellion, going your own way, carving out a path all your own and hoards of other idyllic philosophies. So I try to bring things back to the real world of figuring out who we are, what we are and how we can make the most of it.
My conversation partner is not a #1 guy. He’s a #2 guy, but he’s not a very good #2 guy. I know he’s not highly regarded by some in the organization. He doesn’t lack self-esteem. He lacks self-awareness.
I’ve encountered considerable self-absorption through the years. Plenty of people are delusional about their work, their careers and how others perceive them.
So I aim the discussion toward reputation management, something my conversation partner isn’t too keen on. He doesn’t think it’s necessary. He thinks it’s so much drivel that isn’t his problem, but somebody else’s.
I ask, “Do think I’m invested in you?” He looks at me, then peers around the room. Now I’ve spent hours with this guy. I’ve had more private conversations with his superiors than he’s even aware of. This isn’t my first rodeo and I can easily spot a person who brings value to the organization. This guy brings value. Unfortunately, he doesn’t bring enough. Yet. He can. He’s just resisting jumping higher to be part of the solutions. Too often he’s part of the problem and my job is to help him see it, explore ways to find solutions and to persuade him that he’s serving himself best when he’s serving those above him.
“I’m not sure,” he finally answers. I tell him that I think that’s fair, but I try to reassure him (I’ve assured him every single time we’ve talked) that I’m only here to serve him by helping him.
The conversation continues with much advancement. I leave feeling empty and sad. His bravado and outward confidence isn’t serving him well. I see the future and it’s not wonderful. So I leave wondering if I can do anything to convince him that his aspirations for top dog leadership are being stymied by his own arrogance. Early on I knew he was one of those “I’m the smartest guy in the room” people. He still is, even when his boss is in the room. Maybe especially when his boss is in the room.
Days later the boss wants to know, “How did you meeting with _________ go?”
I’m not going to lie. Or fluff it up. “Not very well,” I report. “I’m sorry that I’m not yet able to reach him because I know the value he can bring, but I also know the hurdles he presents. What are you seeing?”
The boss answers me. “I”m seeing some subtle things change. I suspect he’s learning more than you may think.”
He continues, “Don’t sweat it. He’s gonna have to decide for himself what he’s going to do.”
The boss sounds resigned. And I get it. He’s been looking for a solid #2 for a few years. He’s invested a lot of time and effort into this guy. Hoping he’d be the one. The guy’s got all the skills necessary, but he’s just more trouble than he’s worth on more days than not. And I knew the boss was tired of it when I first arrived. It’s what brought me the party. My job was to a) find out if the guy could adjust and adapt, b) provide him the tools necessary to be a capable #2 and c) help the boss learn some techniques to help the process. Along the way we’ve accomplished some pretty important stuff. The boss is pleased with my efforts. I knew he would be. I work hard. Nobody is going to try harder. I’m going to make sure of it. But I’m empty. Lost in how to help a person see what the rest of us think should be obvious.
“I just don’t care any more. I know what I’ve got to do,” says the boss. “I’m sorry,” I say.
“Don’t be. You’ve said it yourself. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Maybe we’ve got a jackass on our hands anyway.” He laughs. So do I.
“You know I’m not going to try to embed myself ’cause that’s not how I roll, but I’m perfectly willing to try whatever you feel might help.” I’m tough minded and I hate to lose. But I know I’m not in control of how somebody else lives their life.
“Let’s keep our work going,” he says. “What we’re doing together is important, but I don’t want you wasting any more time on him. I’d rather benefit from your insight myself.”
And so it goes. A man with an opportunity to be a dynamite #2 is sooner or later going to be somebody somewhere else. He won’t likely be a #2. Or #3. All for the lack of seeing how his own career might benefit from hoisting up his boss with superior support and service. He just can’t bring himself to be Tonto, or Ed or Mike Campbell.
Lately I’ve been listening to the new Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers‘ record, Hypnotic Eye. I’ve seen this band live a few times. I bought the first record in 1976. Almost 40 years ago. Mike Campbell has been there every step of the way. And I wonder how differently thing might have turned out had Tom and Mike not stuck together. I wonder what might have happened if Mike couldn’t have withstood Tom being in the spotlight. Thankfully, for fans like me, the two of them realized they had something special and significant together that neither of them would have alone.
Could Tom have succeeded without Mike? Vice versa. Sure. They’re both talented guys. But we wouldn’t have Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. What a loss!
The band returned to their hometown of Gainsville, Florida back on October 28, 2008. It was their famous 30th anniversary show which was part of a documentary about them done by Peter Bogdanovich. During that show Tom introduced Mike as “the co-captain.” I bought the DVD when it came out and remember thinking when I heard Tom say that, “I’m sure glad Mike is cool with that.” And why shouldn’t he be? What a terrific musical career they’ve had together. Something remarkable!
Can you imagine the Rolling Stones without Mick and Keith together? Me neither. That’s how these things can go when people put something bigger ahead of themselves. Easier said than done for some. Maybe most even.
We can’t all be #1. Nor can we all be #2. Those are special situations.
For the past few years I’ve concentrated considerable effort in helping people with a strong #2 opportunity see that role and fulfill it. These are the people who can most help leaders lead. It’s an awesome responsibility and gift.
Leaders need a strong #2. The great leaders have them. The mediocre ones don’t. That’s just how it is. Steve Jobs needed Woz. Gates had Ballmer, Microsoft’s first business manager. You can see examples of it everywhere. A leader propelled to higher climes by having the push of a strong c0hort willing to do what must to be done so together they can be remarkable. It’s us. Together. Without concern for who gets the lion share of limelight. Because the work matters. The accomplishment is the thing.
Business. Music. Art. I don’t care what the endeavor is, leaders need those who help them lead. No leader has enough brilliance or anything else to go it alone. Besides, if you’re going it alone you’re not a leader. People follow leaders, not loners.
Maybe the guy or gal who would be a great #2 is born to it like a leader often seems to be. Maybe they emerge instead of being created, or encouraged. Still I try…especially when a leader so desperately wants to help a person reach #2 status.
There are a few qualities that I’m sure can be developed though. So if you’re interested in being a great #2 or in finding one, these tips may help.
1. The respect and admiration for the leader have to be genuine.
Anybody who thinks they can be a strong #2 and constantly criticize or argue with the boss or leader (#1) has already proven themselves unworthy to the task. In every case of successful collaboration between a #1 and #2 there is mutual respect and admiration that runs deep and true. It’s not contrived or fake.
Don’t try to fake it. You’re better off looking for somebody worthy of your true respect and admiration. If you’ve been looking for awhile unsuccessfully, then quit trying to be a good #2. Go ahead and join the herd who thinks they know everything. The masses who will live with discontentment, dissatisfied in being part of a team.
Find a cave. Enter. Stay there. Die there for all I care, but leave the rest of us alone ’cause you don’t contribute to our good effort.
2. The leader is the #1 customer.
We all serve somebody. Most of us serve a lot of people. We have to.
The strong #2 knows the person he serves most in the endeavor. It’s the boss, the leader. If the boss ain’t happy, the #2 works hard to change that. It’s their mission in life.
Like respect and admiration, it’s just an automatic sort of response. There’s no resentment about it. There’s no whining or complaining. It’s just the mission – to remedy the problem for the leader. To contribute. To be part of the solution, never part of the problem.
3. The strong #2 earns inner circle status and knows how to manage that responsibly.
There’s a time for debate and a time to salute an order. The strong #2 knows the difference instinctively. Sometimes the leader needs candid feedback that only the #2 can provide. But other times, the leader needs the #2 to lead the parade in supporting the mission so the troops see the commitment to advance.
Strong #2’s don’t cause the leader any public grief or conflict. They value their inner circle responsibility and remain true to it.
Mike Campbell, Tom Petty’s co-captain (photo courtesy DebiDelgrande.com)
4. Envy and jealousy are replaced by joint participation and joy.
The strong #2 finds joy in the art of serving the highly respected #1. Mike Campbell can’t likely imagine playing lead guitar for anybody other than Tom Petty. And why would he? He’s got a very special relationship with Tom. There’s a joy he can get from playing music with Tom that he couldn’t find anywhere else. It’s not about Tom being the best. It’s about them being the best together!
I’m not bold enough to think strong #2’s never feel any emotions of envy or jealousy, but I know they don’t feel them long enough to act on them. Rather, they deem the work more important. Their sense of accomplishment and joy override any negative emotions that might damage the relationship.
Conclusion
There’s something quite special about being a leader, but there’s also something remarkable about the responsibility and opportunity to be among the top ones who help propel them lead. The entire team is benefited not just by the leader, but the #2. Together, they form a tandem of leadership that drives the success of the enterprise. It’s like double the horsepower to reach an objective that otherwise might be out of reach.
Sometimes the #2 must push. Other times, they have to pull. Whatever it takes to get the job done. It’s about as opposite of the remark I heard, “I’m not going to invest my career in him.” Then find somebody you can invest in because we’ve all got to serve somebody.
Photo of Mike Campbell used with permission of Debi Delgrande
Do more of what works. Stop doing what isn’t working.
Sound advice. Unfortunately, not always easy. And sometimes we’re stymied with the riddle, “How do I know if I’ve given it a fair chance?”
You don’t. It’s a crap shoot. Sometimes you get a face full of crap. Sometimes you don’t. You’ll know it when you feel it.
This much I know – sometimes it’s best to not even try to figure it out. Sometimes it’s just best to stop doing what you’re doing because deep down inside you know it’s not working. Who cares why? Just stop it so you can start something else. Something new.
No guarantees the new thing will work either, but at least it’s a change. Maybe for the better. You won’t know until you try.
You should consider rebranding or renaming, or both, when you really feel you have given the effort to get some traction – some real sign of success – and it’s just not happening. What’s success? Depends on what you’re chasing. Maybe it’s customers, clients or patrons. Maybe it’s revenues. Maybe it’s exposure or attention represented in attracting a crowd or audience. It can be all sorts of things. You’ve got to decide what it is for you.
Here’s the thing. You know if you’re achieving success or not. And you know if things are on the uptick or not. If not, my advice is quit. Give up. Stop doing what you’re doing.
I May Quit, But Not Today
That’s been my lifelong mantra, but I break it all the time. Like so many little ditties, it sounds wise, doesn’t it? And it is. Sometimes. But not all the time.
Sometimes it’s stupid.
One of these days I’ll do a show on my ever growing list of things that sound smart, but aren’t. I can come up with such statements as good as the next guy. Maybe better than most. Hence, the statement, “I may quit, but not today.” My wit and witticisms know no bounds of stupidity.
But today is the day. I mean, you can’t avoid quitting forever. One day has to be the faithful day that you actually do quit. Because it’s likely past time. Truth be told, you should have quit a long time ago, but you were afraid. You listened to all the pundits tell you how powerful courage, resilience and persistence are. And you believed it. Dumb you. Well, not really. We all believe it. Or we want to.
Deep down inside you questioned it though, didn’t you? You kept wondering if it might be a mistake to keep slogging on.
You listened to social media. You read all the cool books. You followed all the popular blogs.
There’s that collective wisdom that captured your imagination and seemed to be so right. Seth Godin’s Dip resonated with you. Then there are all the stories of people who persisted through thick and thin making you feel like a real loser if you quit now.
But you really know it’s time to quit. It’s hard, but reality slams you to the ground with a sobering force.
Sometimes The Signs Are Clear. Sometimes They’re Anything But.
When a store closes there are clear signals. They’ve likely been present for awhile, depending on the financial fortitude of the owners. Here in Dallas/Ft. Worth there’s a retailer that has been struggling for ions, Radio Shack. Their financial fortitude seems surpassed only by their refusal to face reality. Public money has a way to prolonging the agony of quitting.
The inability to pay invoices, meet payroll, make lease payments and other signs are pretty strong indicators that the present course isn’t working. Brick and mortar businesses don’t usually just up and quit because they suddenly decided to. Instead, they’ve likely wrestled with months or years of bad numbers, low performance indicators and various other warning buzzers telling them they’re sinking. Like a captain of a sinking ship, it can be difficult to make the decision to give up all hope.
Your endeavor may be struggling. Maybe it’s always struggled. Or maybe it was once thriving, but no more. Or maybe it just never got off the ground.
If you had a thousand bucks for every hour you’ve spent soul searching, you’d have well over 100 grand. But the soul searching has left you feeling empty and alone. The war in your head grows more intense as you feel the pressure to do something differently. Anything. ‘Cause this ain’t workin’ – at least not any more.
If only there was a clear signal that said, “This is NEVER going to work.” But the dashboard of our life sometimes lacks the gauges we need most. If only we had a CHECK ENGINE light to alert us to something potentially catastrophic.
Instead, we’re left to figure it out on our own. And that’s the real work. Figuring it out. For ourselves.
Quitting Isn’t Losing. It’s An Opportunity To Stop Losing.
For years, as an executive in the consumer electronics business I attended the Consumer Electronic Shows in Las Vegas. I don’t gamble, but I’ve watched others do it. Sometimes poorly.
Losing in Vegas is a widely practiced art form. Some people do it with great vigor. One year in the early 80’s while walking through a casino lobby of the hotel I noticed a table with a dealer, but no players. A sign sat in the middle of the table, “Reserved.” As a non-gambler I was quite fascinated by this so I had to approach the dealer and ask, “What does the reservation mean?” He explained to me how big clients would reserve specific tables and dealers. He was such a dealer, stationed at such a table. I asked, “When will the player arrive?” “I don’t know,” said the dealer. “He’s got this table reserved all night so we’re on standby for him.”
Well, that was too curious for my blood so I found a seat within eyeshot of the table and waited. Thankfully, it wasn’t too long – maybe 20 minutes or so – and in walked a sharply dressed man, alone. He approached the table and out of nowhere appeared another casino employee with a full rack of chips. The man took the rack and began to play a pattern of numbers. The game was roulette.
The “dealer” spun the wheel and in one fell swoop he gathered up all the chips. The house won that round.
The player repeated the process, appearing to play the exact same numbers and colors. Again, the wheel spun. Again, the house won.
A third time. Again, the same outcome and the entire rack of chips was vanquished. Without saying a word the player exited the casino. I followed at a safe distance only to see him jump into a limo parked at the curb and drive off. I went back inside to inquire what I’d just seen. The dealer was discreet, but told me the player likely had tables reserved all over town. “He’s likely looking for a hot table,” said the dealer. “Will he come back?” I asked. “Maybe. Maybe not,” said the dealer.
Another guy was standing near me when I asked the dealer if he could tell me how much the man had gambled. “No, sorry,” said the dealer. The other observer told me, “I can tell you it was in excess of $100K.” I looked inquisitively at the dealer who simply made one nodding notion to affirm that it had been a 6-figure three spin play! No spin took more than 60 seconds. Within less than 5 minutes this high roller had lost over $100,000. Talk about something not working!!
We went to grab dinner and a few hours later there was another dealer standing at the same table. There was the sign, “Reserved.” We walked around, keeping our eye on the table waiting to see of the high roller would return. He did. I moved in closer, maintaining a comfortable, anonymous distance. Same result as the first time. Same numbers and colors appeared to be played. I surmised that based on the pattern of where he placed the chips each time. Exact same movement and location, best I could tell. Three spins and off he went, catching his limo to continue his quest for a hot table. I assumed he hadn’t found it else he’d stay put. Or maybe he had found it and it went cold. No matter. In the span of less than 10 minutes total I had seen a guy drop a quarter of a million bucks.
I started calculating how long it might take to drive from one casino to another. And how much time he spent at a table where he lost. Surely he’s winning somewhere, I thought. I mean, even filthy rich folks could ill afford to lose $25,000 a minute.
My mates and I talked for quite a long time wondering about this guy and trying to figure out why somebody would use this approach. As I said, I’m not a gambler so I had no insight. The entire thing seemed ludicrous to me. We collectively concluded that whatever he was doing this night was NOT working. Which begged the question, “Why is he still doing it?” Was he compulsive? Was he an addict unable to help himself? The man clearly had clout with the casinos else he wouldn’t have been able to reserve tables all over town. All we knew is that if he were to stop playing then he could stop losing. We were equally certain he wasn’t looking at it like that. He was likely behaving like we sometimes do – thinking, “This time it’ll work.”
He couldn’t stop playing because he was likely thinking more about winning than losing. It wasn’t an opportunity to stop losing. Rather, it was an opportunity to never win.
I don’t know how much money he had to lose, but I know he could have used a lot more sense. Most of us don’t have money to lose, or sense. We need all we can get.
Give Up. Move On. Quit. Do Something Else. This Ain’t Workin. Maybe It Never Will.
We’re a hockey kinda family. My son, now 34, has played all his life. Me? I’ve coached, run leagues and done more than my share of volunteer work. Once I even served as the South Central Zone Coordinator for USA Hockey Inline and was on the rules committee. So, yeah, we’re kinda ate up with hockey.
Well, when you watch hockey at the highest level, the NHL, you’ll see world-class skaters fall pretty regularly when they’re on the ice. Sure, they’re getting the snot knocked out of them when they do. Or maybe they’re being tripped (a penalty). But the point is, they’re not always upright. Quite often they fall down. But unless they’re injured, they hop up faster than most of us could get to our feet on dry land wearing sneakers. Getting knocked down isn’t a big deal. Staying down is.
The great thing is about the wild is you’ve got to keep falling and you’ve got to keep getting up. Nobody in life ever likes falling because they think it makes them look like an idiot. But that’s why nobody ever gets anywhere.”
Tom Arnold was Bear’s adventure partner last night. Tom responded, “I get paid to look like an idiot.” But you don’t. So you’re afraid of looking like an idiot. Afraid of failing. Well, get over it. ‘Cause we’re all idiots at some point. Our idiocy can be fleeting or it can be sustained over time. Maybe we should all work harder to manage our moments of idiocy by either accepting them or embracing them. But you know what the real deal is, don’t you? Nobody is noticing your idiocy because they’re too concerned about their own. So go ahead. Fall down. Get back up. And act like nothing happened.
Taking Some Time Off
I’m stepping away from things around here until after the Labor Day weekend. No, it’s not a vacation. It’s work. But don’t fret much because I’m going to be back with a vengeance, Lord willing. And the next time you hear me here (in the podcast), I’ll likely have rebranded some things. So I’m walking the walk in addition to talking the talk. I’m quitting one thing so I can start something else. Something better. Something bigger.
In the meantime, I’m keeping the lights on over at Leaning Toward Wisdom. Things over there are working so I gotta keep it going while I figure things out around here.
About 9 o’clock and I got hungry, again. I sprint to the kitchen, catch my breath – and begin the quest. A hunt really. It didn’t last long. One glance in the pantry and I immediately knew what I wanted. NACHOS.
It’s a new feature, On Being Extraordinary. Today’s installment is fundamental. Then again, most acts of being extraordinary are actually quite simple. This story proves the point.
And so it goes. A man with an opportunity to be a dynamite #2 is sooner or later going to be somebody somewhere else. He won’t likely be a #2. Or #3. All for the lack of seeing how his own career might benefit from hoisting up his boss with superior support and service. He just can’t bring himself to be Tonto, or Ed or Mike Campbell.
