Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 12:10 — 11.5MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS | More

No, it’s not passion.

No, it’s not some willy-nilly dream.

No, it’s not some mythical north star.

It’s who and what you are. It’s the essence of YOU.

Lately one of the most common conversations I have is about what Donald O. Clifton, the father of the StrengthsFinder movement, called “soaring with your strengths.” Simply put, it’s about leveraging what you’re best at and not obsessing so much about what you’re not very good at.

In their 1992 book, SOAR WITH YOUR STRENGTHS, Donald O. Clifton and Paula Nelson begin with a parable entitled, “Let The Rabbits Run.” It’s the story of a rabbit attending a school where there are lots of classes in everything from running to climbing to swimming. As you can imagine the rabbit isn’t too good at swimming. So he’s instructed that it’d be best if he were to stop running (cause he’s already really good at that) and just take swimming courses (because he’s not very good at that). He vomits at the thought of giving up running. Thankfully, the rabbit encountered the wise old owl after he saw the school’s counselor. The wise old owl told him life didn’t have to be that way. He envisioned a place where the squirrels climbed and jumped through the trees. Where the fish did nothing but swim. And where the rabbits just ran. Just the thought of it made the rabbit happy.

So it goes when you find it – that thing that just comes easily and naturally to you. That thing that you excel at. That thing that defines who you are – in your most natural, comfortable state.

Get out of your comfort zone!

Everybody preaches that, but it’s moronic advice…at least as most people apply it. Should we push ourselves? Should we embrace those who will help push us? ABSOLUTELY. But the question is, “In what direction?”

The rabbit loved to run and he was good at it. His inability to swim as good as the fish wasn’t important. Slight improvements in his swimming skills weren’t going to make a lick of difference in his life, or in what he’d be able to achieve. Yes, he was uncomfortable swimming. It was stupid to think he should devote more time to this weakness in hopes he’d grow more comfortable in the water.

But push the rabbit to get out of his comfort zone in running and that’s an entirely different prospect. If the rabbit had a certain speed that was some mentally self-imposed limitations, don’t you imagine he’d be served with a running coach who pushed him and coached him in ways to run even faster? Of course. He’s be energized at the challenge.

Those are 2 drastically different comfort zones. One is counterproductive. The other? Very productive.

The battle is wanting to be something you’re not, or wishing you were great at something that’s beyond your greatness.

It’s about accepting who and what you are, but that doesn’t mean it’s about complacency. No matter your strong points, they can be improved. There’s still the ideal self that you’ve not reached. That you’ll NEVER reach. But you keep working to improve…like the rabbit could work on getting faster and quicker. Always working to be the best version of himself possible.

Too often we spend our time wishing we were different. When a better use of our time – and our time as leaders who are trying to help others excel – would be spent helping them lean more fully into who and what they are.

I’m a college football fan. Every season it’s interesting to me how some kid coming out of high school where he’s played a certain position for years, ends up in a college program where coaches spot something unique about him. Maybe he was a wide receiver all of his younger days, but now that he’s in college and maybe during year 2 of his college career where’s he’s barely seen the field…coaches ask him to move to cornerback or safety. Now he’s on the other side of the ball going from playing offense to defense. And it can be remarkable the difference. A kid unable to start at a position he’d played for years is now a stud because he’s been moved to a different position that demands much of the same skillsets he’s already learned. It doesn’t always work out, but it’s remarkable how often coaches – like the wise old owl – can spot the physical prowess of a player and help them leverage that in ways they never would have otherwise.

Don’t you wish somebody would do that for YOU?

Imagine if we each had people capable of doing that for us. People like the wise old owl courageous enough to encourage us to be who and what we are – just better! People capable of recognizing we may be misplaced…yet people able to encourage us to find our place.

I’ve sat across from numerous executives who declared they wanted to be better leaders. After a while, it was obvious they weren’t that interested in leadership. They were far more interested in being the boss. Which is okay. They’re just not the same thing. Sometimes as we dig deeper into who and what they are I can help them see that whatever vision they’ve got of being a good leader – which is frequently a flawed vision anyway – would make them miserable. Many of these people are terrific operationally. They just need a solid number 2 who has what they lack. Somebody who is more naturally bent toward leadership than authority. I’ve encountered people willing and able to make that shift mentally and find themselves supremely happier. They’re like the rabbit. They can now just run without fretting about having to ever swim again.

What about you? Have you found it yet?

Put in the work. Talk to people who really know you. Ask them for feedback. What they see you being naturally great at? When they think of you what do they think?

What gives you energy? What robs you of energy?

Like the rabbit who threw up at the thought of just having to swim…what makes you want to vomit?

Lean away from the energy suckers in your life and lean toward the energy sources. Find it. Follow it.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Randy

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:41 — 11.1MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS | More

Curiosity and common ground. Those are two ingredients for helping prospects break their autopilot behavior. How?

Storytelling.

Help them imagine what your product or service will do for them. You put them into the story and have them experience it. We’re all able to project ourselves into some future circumstance. As we imagine it, we begin to feel it. It becomes our new experience. New thoughts and beliefs can begin to form, too. Consider all that when you’re thinking of connecting with your prospects.

Marketing and sales (yes, I know they’re different, but for our purposes I’m lumping them into one big bucket because this is all about storytelling AND it’s about establishing a relationship of trust with people) – is largely about being able to predict the future experience for your prospects. You want to help them imagine themselves in the story. The more you can make that story come alive, the easier it will be for them to see themselves experiencing your product or service. The experiences generate real feelings and emotions that will drive people to choose your offer. The more valid and real those emotions, the more the prospect (now customer) will believe it.

The process isn’t easy, but it’s fairly simple. We have to get the prospect’s attention. If we’re unable to break the autopilot experience of the prospect, then we’re doomed. But once we do that, we have to tell our story involving the prospect and let them buy.

Stop pushing water up the hill.

Anybody with any sales experience has done it. Tried too hard. Pushed too hard. We’ve also done the opposite. Failed to push at all. Neglected to even ask the person to buy. We’re making it harder than it has to be.

Each of us tells stories. Let’s think about the stories we tell ourselves. In our head. We all do it.

These stories determine how we see the world and our place in it. So as we’re approaching telling a story to our prospects we must keep in mind they’re telling themselves a story before we ever arrive. What story are they telling? You should know. Or at least have some idea.

It’s ideal to get the prospect to share their story. This is where marketing and sales are very different. Marketing is your story being told to people. Usually at some scale. Selling is you listening to the story of your prospect, sharing your story and finding out what really matters most to the prospect so you can dazzle them with a positive experience with your product or service.

Questions. Those are among the most productive tools in selling. How else are you going to learn about the prospect? How else are you going to hear their story?

You can devise your own series of questions, but they can be best summed up with one phrase: tell me more. If you haven’t put in the time to devise great questions for your sales process, then you’re failing to achieve all you should. Don’t leave it to chance. Don’t leave it to an individual team member’s prowess. Craft an effective process that produces predictable results.

Questions like, “Give me a bit of background. How did you get here?” can get the prospect in storytelling mode. It can begin a good dialogue, which is what you’re after. So when you ask, LISTEN. Carefully.

“Tell me more about what you want to accomplish.”

“What are the hurdles you need to clear before you can execute?”

Figure out the best questions that can help get your prospects sharing their stories. Coach and train your employees to listen and effectively engage in sharing your company story by incorporating the prospects’ stories. Your story has to be congruent with the story the prospect tells. If there’s a disconnect, you’re done. And there might be valid reasons for that. Not every prospect is fit for our stuff. Nobody sells everybody. It’s okay.

Paint the picture. Lose the technical jargon, except as it relates to the audience – engineers can speak effectively with other engineers, etc. Your story can’t be some sterile affair. It’s got to convey emotions. Don’t be afraid to go deeper into explaining how decisions like these need to be made, and how others are making decisions successfully.

Share how others have benefited. Social proof is important.

Good stories have a moral. Have one. Make the ending where there’s a logical next step – one your prospect can clearly see and agree with.

Attention. That’s the name of the game. It’s about getting the attention of your prospect, but it’s about showing them the attention they crave. To understand how people buy is to understand that we’re all telling ourselves stories. Everybody craves being able to tell themselves a better story. That’s what creates our desire for something different, something more or something else. Spend whatever time you must to craft better stories that involve your prospects. Get better at helping your prospects see themselves having a better experience.

Are you an entrepreneur – a business owner who proudly wears the label, “operator?” Maybe you’re sick and tired of going it alone. This much is sure, you don’t want anybody telling you what to do. That’s largely why you became an entrepreneur in the first place…so you could do it the way you wanted. The way you believed would be better. That’s how it should be.

The problem is going it alone isn’t the fastest path to growth and improvement. Your company can grow much faster and go much further if you can leverage the power of others. That’s exactly what The Peer Advantage by Bula Network does. It helps business owners like you leverage the power of others so you can grow your business, your leadership, and your life. This is an intentionally small, intimate group of just 7 SMB owners from around the United States who come together using a video conferencing platform so we can share insights, experiences, and know-how. Learn more by visiting the website, ThePeerAdvantage.com. Click the big orange APPLY NOW button today.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Randy

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:05 — 10.5MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS | More

Salespeople tend to think features will make a difference. If only their product or service included something it doesn’t yet have…then their sales success would be possible. “Customers want _________ (they’ll talk about something specific that’s missing from their current offer).”

Disruption is the order of the day. It’s not new and it’s here to stay because everywhere we look there are problems. Everywhere we look there are entrepreneurs working to figure out a better way. Many of them are attacking problems in industries where they have no prior experience. It’s happened in the taxi/limo business, the mattress business, hotel/motel, retail, computer hardware, music distribution…and just about every other industry you can name. If it hasn’t happened yet, it will. And for good reason – because every industry can be improved.

Any of us with a sales background have to realize we’ve been conditioned over time. The winners are those with the best feature set. That’s what we believe. But it’s not true. And it’s never been the universal truth that we think. Which can explain why achieving success can become more difficult over time. All the preconceived ideas focus us on what we don’t have, convincing us that if only we had what we don’t, then it’d all be different. No, it wouldn’t.

Because we don’t understand how people really buy.

Instead, we’re able to point to the economy, industry challenges and a host of other things that may have nothing to do with our current failures. Society is largely driven by creating fear and hysteria. We’re easily influenced to think things are far worse than they actually are. The minute a child goes missing moms in the area tighten the rein on their kids believing the streets are filled with bad people abducting children. Pessimism is easy. Fear is even easier. But I’m talking about something tangible. I’m not just urging you to be optimistic, although that would help. 😉

Each of us is conditioned by our experiences. All this conditioning affects our consumer behavior, too. We lean toward our conditioning and it can be very difficult to break it. That’s why we commonly find people dug into a position and unable or unwilling to consider alternative viewpoints or opinions.

Our experiences coupled with all the media exposure bombarding us daily deepen that conditioning. That’s why getting attention is so urgent for marketers. It’s also why it’s so difficult. We’re roaming about on autopilot much of the time until something extraordinary grabs our attention.

Beliefs. Prejudices. Experiences. Perceptions. These are the things that create our autopilot behaviors. And choices.

When I was growing up my dad was a General Motors guy. We always had a GM car. Usually either a Pontiac or a Chevy. Sometimes a neighbor would be a Ford person or a Chrysler person. I grew up wondering why some people were devoted to brands over style. As a kid, I would have opted for the best looking car! Here I am an adult and I’ve largely been loyal to 4-cylinder sporty cars. My last three cars have been an Acura Integra Type R, a Subaru WRX STi and a Mazda Mazdaspeed 3. My loyalty doesn’t fall along brand lines as much as it falls along performance and “fun factor” lines. But my buying preferences aren’t much different than my dad’s loyalty to GM.

In our efforts to persuade or sell our goods and services, we’re challenged by all this conditioning. Proof of our autopilot behavior is found anytime you get behind the wheel of your car and drive to a common destination, but you don’t fully remember the entire drive. You weren’t paying close enough attention to remember every turn or landmark along the way. You were just blind to most of the things around you. That’s how most of us live as we endure all the media messages designed to sell us something. After a while, it turns into just so much noise.

Prospects behave the same way. They hear your marketing and sales messages and largely ignore them. They don’t even notice them. And if (or when) they do notice, they may lack the subtle details, but no matter – they’ll fill in the gaps of what they don’t know with what they do know. Or what they think they know. Their opinions will likely be based on the tons of stuff they’ve heard over time. True or not. Valid or not.

Generic brands have never been as popular as they are today. Yet, there are likely some things that you purchase out of habit. Maybe it’s Kleenex brand tissues. Or French’s mustard. Or Heinz ketchup. You buy them without thinking about it because you’ve always bought those brands. Changing your mind is almost impossible.

The other problem we all face is the belief that we’re right. Who doesn’t think they’re right? We all think we’re right. Logically, we know that’s impossible. We act based on what we believe, but much of what we believe could be wrong. It’s hard to show people where they’re wrong because we’re willing to fight hard based on what we believe.

Awareness is the key. We need prospects to be aware of how they’re feeling, of what they’re believing and of their experiences. That presents one key to persuasion – creating a relationship, creating rapport with our prospects.

All this yelling back and forth isn’t accomplishing anything in our society. Nobody ever influenced or persuaded somebody by attacking them or calling them names. Telling people they’re wrong won’t likely do the job either. Attacking the competition won’t work either.

My wife and I had just purchased a house. We were shopping for a sofa and some other furniture so we went to the large furniture store that advertised constantly. It was an enormous store. We were frugal shoppers who went to get ideas so we could think through what we wanted to buy. The salesman showed us around and when he saw we weren’t going to open our wallets on the spot he asked where else we might shop. I ran retail companies and knew he was failing miserably, but I was polite. I told him we didn’t know, that we were mostly out and about getting ideas – something I had told him when he first approached us. He blurted out, “Are you gonna go to (and he mentioned the name of some store I had never heard of)?” I told him I didn’t know and thanked him for helping us.

You know what I did as soon as walked out? That’s right. I found out where that store he named was and went directly there. I figured the store he mentioned must be who he considers his arch-rival. Idiot!

Never mention a competitor! Ever. And don’t get suckered into saying anything about them.

Create and foster curiosity. That’s how our autopilot gets broken. Do this by helping your prospects connect their existing thoughts and ideas to new ideas. Let’s continue this idea in the next show. For now, I want you to stop contributing to the noise thinking if you just yell louder longer, it’ll work. It won’t. You’ll just be wasting your money.

Dive into what you’re saying and how you’re saying it. Dive into what your team members are saying and how they’re saying it. Today’s takeaway is to devote yourself more fully to creating a friendly, comfortable environment where prospects don’t feel threatened to forsake their current beliefs.

Be well. Do good. Grow great.

Randy

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:30 — 10.9MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS | More

In 1945 Gene Autry released a recording of the song that hit #4 on the charts. By then the song was about 10 years old. Through the years it’s been covered by lots of people from Harry Connick, Jr. to The Killers to Willie Nelson. It’s a country and western song that depicts the yearning to be free to roam. To be able to explore freely without restriction.

I live in the city. We have literal fences that separate our yards and property. Domestically we’re fenced in. Professionally the fences appear much different. They’re the restrictions of what we think we’re supposed to do. They’re the tactics people tell us are expected if we want to get positive results.

Common knowledge and common wisdom aren’t necessarily things to just cast aside, but they may be worth questioning. This week I heard two musicians talk about how they went their own way. Tristan Prettyman and Mark Knopfler. Both taught themselves to play the guitar and admit that they’re beyond being fixed. And who would want to fix them anyway. I mean, they’re both very talented and providing the world high value through their music. Tristan confesses that songwriting is difficult. Knopfler talks about how he left writing newspaper stories as a journalist because there were songs in his head prying their way out.

I kept thinking about what they said and how neither of them followed some formula. They simply took a step, followed by another, then another and all along the way they figured out what might work for them. Then last night I watched an old interview John Prine did. For 6 years he was a mailman until he got up one night at an open mic event and sang a song he had written. The crowd liked his music and he began playing regularly.

Don’t fence me in means don’t think there’s only one path toward growth, improvement or success. Don’t fence me in means stop looking for the formula or secret. So many people, not just creative types like Prettyman, Knopfler and Prine, find success by not doing what everybody is doing. Conventional wisdom is frequently a fence that may prevent people from figuring out what will work.

This is why I’m so fond of surrounding ourselves with different viewpoints, perspectives and experiences. It breaks down fences and opens us up to possibilities we may have never considered. Knopfler says no guitar teacher would dare teach a person to play the way he plays because technically he breaks all kinds of guitar playing rules. But it works. In fact, it works so well he’s considered among the world’s premier guitarists. Aren’t we glad he refused to be fenced in to do what everybody else did.

What about YOU? What about your business?

Are you just following whatever leader has captured your attention? Or are you making your own way…figuring out what works for you?

I’m a contrarian. I’ve always been a contrarian. I’d love to tell you it always works, but nothing always works. And I’m not a contrarian just for the sake of being a contrarian. I’m a contrarian because I’m curious if it can be made better. I’m curious if some other course might work better. And I admit I do enjoy questioning conventional wisdom, especially when it’s something ingrained in an industry.

In the last show I talked about the power of boldness – the ability to not worry about being embarrassed. That’s part of this don’t fence me in mindset. It deals with how comfortable and confident you can be knowing that you’re not following the crowd. Prine could have thought, “I’m just a mailman. And I’m already 24. I’ve never played live in front of a crowd before. And besides, I don’t know if my songs are very good.” Instead, he got up, guitar in hand, approached the microphone and sang a song. I don’t know what he expected, but I doubt he thought that one moment might alter his life forever. But it did. That’s not how musical careers are supposed to begin, but that’s how his began.

Prettyman wasn’t planning on becoming a musician, a singer/songwriter. She had no idea how to even begin such a quest. She was working toward some career that had to do with surfing. Something sort of business-related. If you want to break out in music, you don’t do that. But she did. One thing led to another. And she displayed courage along the way.

All the advice. All the formulas. All the recipes. And ALL the stories I hear of extraordinary growth, improvement and success are stories of people who just took one action, which led to another action and sometimes they stumbled, sometimes they didn’t. They found THEIR WAY to the goal, which sometimes wasn’t even a goal at the beginning.

We look for formulas, recipes, secrets and fences because we want somebody to give us the easy answer. The truth is, there are no easy answers. An even bigger truth is, answers that can be consistently repeated with success are super rare. We have to find our own way and be brave enough to venture beyond and outside the fences. What worked for others may have value in our learning, but that doesn’t mean it’s how we ought to go. We have to be explorers in charge of our lives and careers. Life is about discovery. The area inside the fence has already been discovered. There’s nothing new there. That’s the problem with being fenced in.

Be adventurous. Be curious. Be bold. Be confident. You’ll figure it out.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Randy

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:42 — 11.1MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS | More

Genius gets more freely thrown around than hero. Both are grossly overused. But I’m still going to use genius when it comes to today’s topic of boldness.

Bold has some terrific synonyms.

Daring

Fearlessness

Bravery

Courage

Audacity

Confidence

Enterprise

Grit

Guts

Moxie

I rather like them all. Now you can better understand why I’m going to use the word genius to describe it.

For me, it’s the ability to be enterprising toward a goal without shame. It’s the ability we have to move forward without embarrassment.

In the last episode, I talked about the power of your network and how I often wished I were more extroverted. Well, this is at the heart of it for many people. For me, it’s just an energy thing. It’s not so much a fear thing. I can look extroverted, but it’s exhausting because it drains me. My son is an extrovert and you can see his energy go up when he’s around people. I’ve learned that many people dread being around others because they lack the boldness necessary. Fear and embarrassment stall them.

But what about when it comes to taking action that you know would propel you forward? Or actions that you believe would take your business forward?

The One Common Denominator In Success

Boldness. That’s why without reservation I use the term genius to describe it.

Last weekend I watched the short Netflix series, Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates. Like many of you, I’ve read lots of biographies about remarkable people in every area, mostly in business. It seems to me they all have one thing in common. And it’s not brainpower genius, which admittedly Bill Gates may very well possess.

It’s boldness. It’s the ability to chase and pursue their goal without shame or embarrassment. They care more about achieving the goal than anything people may think or say about them. It’s so simple and powerful that it’s got to be considered genius.

For the past 10 years or so I’ve grown increasingly focused on the brain and the human mind’s ability to create new realities. I’m still colossally ignorant, armed with just enough information to know I’m far from self-mastery. And with just enough information to know there’s so much more, I need to learn!

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.

That has to be the most famous quote from Napoleon Hill’s classic book, Think and Grow Rich. While I don’t think it’s an absolute truth, I’ve grown to appreciate how accurate it is.

For example, people can argue that you can think about being able to fly and no matter what you do we can’t fly because we’re not birds. But we invented machinery capable of helping us fly. So there’s THAT.

I think the real emphasis belongs not on the word “conceive” but the word “believe.” Bill Gates and so many other very accomplished people truly believe in their pursuit AND in their ability to achieve it. We look at them and wonder, “How did they do that?” Perhaps the answer is no more complicated than they conceived something, believed it and then vigorously pursued it with shamelessness. Watch that documentary on Gates and if you knew nothing about him before you came away knowing that he simply doesn’t care what anybody thinks of his pursuits. Equally important is his insistence to surround himself with people who also believe in it. Easier to do when you’re so devoted to something as he’s been.

Much has been written about overcoming fear. It’s still a message we need to constantly hear because for most of us, it just never goes away. We mostly are unable to conquer it once and for all. It’s an ongoing project where some days we handle it better than other days. And it doesn’t matter how much logic or intellect we apply. When we pause long enough to think about it, it makes no sense, but still we experience it.

Embarrassment mostly makes no sense. Our fear of what somebody may think of us or what they may say about us – and mostly these are people we don’t even know – is so real in our head. And that’s all it takes to paralyze us. That can be all it takes to squash our ambitions. Not so with the highest achievers on the planet.

How do we improve (increase) our boldness?

I’m only going to give you one thing. Just this one thing…do it and it’s bound to improve things. Maybe the improvement will be big. Maybe it’ll be small. I suspect it all depends on how devoted you are to grow in this area.

Focus on it.

That’s it. Focus on growing your audacity. Focus involves a few important things.

1. It means it’s important to you. You decide to step up your efforts to grow and improve in this area. Until you commit to growing audacity there’s little chance it’ll happen.
2. It means you move from just thinking more about it to taking some actions. As self-talk amps up and you realize the futility of worrying about what people think or say, or even what people do – you train yourself to more deeply understand that those things pale in comparison to you achieving your goal. The realization that you’re trading your often unfounded concerns or fears for your achievement sinks in more deeply over time. That compels you to take small steps at first toward caring less.
3. It builds confidence as you learn to take consistent steps toward your goal no matter how risky it is that you may be embarrassed. Confidence is key and taking actions in spite of initial fears and concerns is the best way to grow confidence.
4. Sustain the effort long enough and in time you’ll achieve something only because you ignored or managed the fear of being embarrassed. The longer you’re able to embrace that feeling and those thoughts the easier it becomes to ditch the risk of embarrassment.
5. Eventually, you learn to figure out that reaching your goal matters more than being embarrassed. Even if you fail to reach your goal, you learn the pursuit matters more than fear, shame or embarrassment. It means you understand how failures are some of the most powerful teaching lessons you’ll ever get. That’s far more valuable than worrying about being embarrassed. It’s more valuable than actually BEING embarrassed. You’ve been embarrassed before. It’s not fatal. In fact, it’s very short-lived. So what’s the problem?

The problem is too many of us aren’t fighting hard enough. We’re too easy to play against. We need to make life harder for our opposition and less hard for our goals. Let’s stop trading the risk – just the mere chance we may be embarrassed – for our achievement. Is the risk of embarrassment worth giving up your dreams? I don’t think so.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Randy

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 13:10 — 12.4MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS | More

Metcalfe’s Law was originally about telecommunications networks.

The value of a network grows in proportion to the square of the number of users, which means once a network reaches a certain size, it becomes somewhat irresistibly attractive.

Tim Sanders in his classic book, LOVE IS THE KILLER APP, wrote this:

“Someday this will be true for all of us: Our network will equal our net worth.”

Tim cited Metcalfe’s Law in the book. And with solid logic and clear understanding. He makes a great point that while not all connections will result in something positive, the cost is virtually nothing, which means you’ve lost nothing. Psychologically you may feel you lost something, but Sander’s advice is spot on, in my opinion. Get over it.

It’s Not Who You Know, But It’s Who Knows You

I’ve mostly been comfortable with who and what I am. Sure, like most, I’m able to daydream of what it’d be like to be more athletic, more musically talented, a gifted cartoonist, a talented novelist and many other endeavors that seem beyond my capacities. And I’m able to daydream of what it’d be like to be more socially extroverted, to be somebody who really enjoys crowds, to be somebody who is more of “life of the party” kind of person. But I’m not that guy and mostly I’m good with it.

But I confess if there was one thing I wish I had done better…one thing I wish my natural wiring would have more easily facilitated…it would be to be comfortable in crowds. To be more extroverted.

It’s not who I’ve ever been. While I can appear extroverted, I’m truly not. And it’s exhausting to me. I used to confuse that personality trait with the ability to effectively network. While it may be true that an extrovert can create a bigger network faster, it doesn’t mean the network is more effective.

Today, I’ve only got one intention – to encourage you to think of your network while thinking of the networks of which you’re a part. More importantly, I want to inspire you to connect for the sake of value. First, the value you can provide. Next, the value you may be able to gain. But…

If neither happen, it’s fine.

If only one happens, then make sure you provide the value. That’s more important than you getting value – although, it’s easy to argue that by providing value you’re automatically getting value. I mean some more qualitative value though.

A few weeks ago I had an Ethernet cable that connected my computer to my modem. The connector going into my computer wasn’t able to make a solid connection. The result? My computer network – a network required for my computer to access the Internet – was broken. A new cable restored the connection.

Think of yourself that way. Do it first inside your company with your team. Do it for your team members. Remember, the value of the network is the number of users. More is better. In human connections, quality matters. That is, the value each human connection can provide matters.

I get Linkedin requests constantly from people who want a connection because they want to extract something from me. People anxious to sell me something. If somebody sent me a connection request telling me upfront, “Hi, Randy. I noticed you work with CEOs, entrepreneurs and executives. I work with other service professionals like you and I’d like to share with you some of the services I provide to help professionals save time and money.” At least it would be an honest connection request. But most don’t do that. They send a bait and switch connection request and if I connect almost immediately I get a long sales pitch message. It’s sleazy and shows me they aren’t interested in any kind of a value proposition. They’re certainly not that interested in me, except as a potential paying customer. And I respect sales and marketing. Just honest sales and marketing.

Who can you bring value?

Who can bring value to you?

Who can you connect with somebody else for mutual benefit?

Some think the power of a network is measured only in dollars, but I think that’s perhaps the lowest way to measure it. At least in the short term. It’s a transactional view of connections. Making a buck right here, right now. The longer-term view doesn’t care about making a sale today because the value of the investment over time is exponentially higher.

Think of the people with whom you may have connected if only for…some reason or excuse.

I habitually reach out (usually by Linkedin because of the nature of that platform) to article or book authors whose work has impacted me. Just a quick note of thanks. Nothing more. No expectation on my part. I’m even surprised if they respond at all.

I also reach out to random business people whose story may have been written about somewhere. People with whom I can relate, or with whom I resonate because of the way they lead and operate. Again, it’ll usually be just a quick note saying how much I enjoyed hearing or reading about their work and letting them know I’m inspired by how they roll.

Sometimes I’m able to connect somebody with somebody else because I think they might benefit from knowing each other. I’ll introduce them then follow up to make sure they’ve at least contacted each other. From there, it’s up to them.

Once in a while, I’m honored to be able to connect somebody to a specific person they’ve wanted to be introduced to. Doesn’t happen very often because I’m not a master connector, but I’d like to become more masterful. I’d like you to become more masterful, too.

It’s how we can all help each other. With a spirit and intention of providing the most value possible for others first. The benefits will automatically flow to us and it’ll help all our boats float higher in the water.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Randy