Daily Brief

Mentors, Trusted Advisors & Confidants – Grow Great Daily Brief #182 – April 4, 2019

On February 20th I lost a man who had been a lifelong mentor. His name was Barney. Whenever people would ask about my relationship with him, I’d always say the same thing, “a lifelong friend, confidant, and mentor.” Barney was about a decade and a half further up the trail, which gave me valuable benefits of his perspective.

His death hit me hard, but I was happy that just days before he passed we’d been able to spend some extended time in a phone call where we were able to express our love for each other. Neither of us expected it to be our last talk. Fact is, we were anticipating seeing one another in just a couple of months.

Since his death, I’ve thought quite a lot about mentors, trusted advisors, and confidants. I have no proof, but intuition tells me most people have very few such people to serve them in life…which makes no sense to me at all, given the high value they can provide. Barney knew me my entire life. That context helped both of us. Provided a comfort zone for us both, too.

Trust. That’s the thing.

Without it, you have nothing. With it, much is possible, if not probable.

I trusted Barney. More than any other older advisor I’ve lost thus far. And more than most other older men in my life – they’re the ones who have provided the lion’s share of value in my life – Barney unhesitatingly challenged me. And with very few words, but with a directness nobody else could or would provide.

He was raised in Kentucky. When he was a boy the family moved up to the Cinncinati area, just across the Ohio border. He was unashamed of being a hillbilly, talking of his family emerging from the hollers of Kentucky.

During one visit where I gathered my son and a few other young men to learn from his wisdom, Barney recounted the family’s move. My son asked, “Did you ever go back to Kentucky to visit.” Barney replied, “Sure. We’d hop on a bus with a sack of sandwiches and take the ride back home to show off.” 😀

We all chuckled at the sight of a bunch of transplanted Kentucky hillbillies leaving the big city on a Greyhound bus with a sack of sandwiches to go back to the hills and show off how citified they now were. But that’s the kind of man he was.

When Barney died a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom went with him except for the vast amount of it he passed on. And he did pass it on. Or try to. I hope I was a good student. I tried to be.

Giving.

It’s likely counter-intuitive to start with us being the giver. That is, with OUR being the mentor, trusted advisor, and confidant. But it’s only right for us to give before we expect to get.

Whether giving or receiving, the factors are likely the same. A few key things to consider for today.

Trust is found only in safety and confidentiality. Without it, all else is lost.

Many people are prone to share whatever they know. Others are prone to judge. Still others to tell you what you ought to do. Can you commit – will you commit – to keeping private things private? Can others trust you to not divulge the expressions of their heart they choose to share with you?

It’s a tall order that not everybody can keep. Fact is, most won’t. Which makes this service rarer.

Should you decide to join the ranks of mentors, trusted advisors and confidants then you’ll need to make sure you’re prepared for this basic, but most important task. Some find it hard. Others of us, not so much. For me, it’s second nature because I’m thankfully not prone to harsh judgment. Truth is, I don’t feel as though I’m better than people I serve. Mostly, I’m not likely as good. So that makes it easier for me. I’m lucky like that.

Asking great questions. Once trust is deeply embedded, then asking deep questions is possible. These are the tools for service, designed to help a person think through their possibilities and figure out for themselves what course may be best.

Through the years Barney would utter one critical phrase in our conversations. It would be a two-word command that would begin many, many discussions. “Think about…” Or he might even say, “What do you think about…?” Every single time it would provoke thoughts…and questions I’d ask him. He knew I was desperate to benefit from his study, experience and knowledge. He, on the other hand, was desperate to help me figure it out for myself.

Encouragement. I’m growing increasingly fascinated with this topic. I talk about it frequently over at my passion project, LeaningTowardWisdom.com. I even registered the URL Craving Encouragement dot com.

Barney would encourage me constantly. To study. To read. To think. To pray. Sometimes it took the form of challenge. Firm, but loving. I never ever doubted his care for me. He wasn’t the recipient of the service. I was. There’s another lesson as a giver. Don’t make it about you. It’s always about them – those you’re working to serve.

To express belief in another is a powerful gift we don’t often enough provide. Shame on us. Especially if we feel it, but neglect to express it.

These are vital factors to mentorship, being a trusted advisor and being a confidant. This is on my mind today, but another older gentleman in my life turns 83 today. His name is Ronny. Lord willing, I’ll see him next month. But I confess to you that I wrote him a letter and emailed it yesterday – the day before his birthday. The subject line said: “Happy Birthday (a day early…because I know we have today and I’m uncertain about tomorrow)”

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Praise: The Fuel For Confidence – Grow Great Daily Brief #181 – April 3, 2019

Praise: The Fuel For Confidence – Grow Great Daily Brief #181 – April 3, 2019

“It was just what I needed,” she told me.

She wasn’t talking about a scolding. She was talking about being called into the sales manager’s office where her work was soundly praised.

She was an account executive with an aviation parts manufacturer. At the time she confesses how fearful she was. “You’re called into the office. For me it was a text – ‘Drop by my office when you get in today. Thanks.’ My mind went into a million different directions trying to think, ‘What have I done wrong?'”

She walked into the office where the manager asked her to have a seat, directly in front of his desk. He didn’t close the door so she thought, “Good sign, maybe.”

He opened a notebook where she noticed a few scribbled notes in his own writing, but she was too nervous to try to read it upside down.

He then spent a couple of minutes extolling the contributions she’d made over the last quarter. And it wasn’t just performance stuff. It was broader and deeper than that. He talked about how he valued everybody and he praised the entire team. Today, he wanted to make sure she understood the value of her contributions to the team and the company.

She was embarrassed. This hadn’t happened to her before. Not at this level. Not anything this serious. This wasn’t a pat on the back. It was deeply thoughtful, well thought out and quite purposeful. When he was finished praising her she thanked him. They both stood, shook hands and he said, “Marcy, I trust you. I’m devoted to your success.” She believed him. And she trusted him, too.

It all lasted less than 8 minutes. Eight minutes!

She floated on a cushion of self-confidence as she exited his office. Later that day, during 2 sales calls she recalls having two of the best sales calls of her life. “My confidence was apparent to the client. You could feel it,” she said.

Success fosters success. But praise fuels confidence and without confidence, success is elusive.

Eight minutes. Eight intentional minutes. Marcy has no idea how to quantify what confidence may do for her sales performance, but she has high goals. Higher than she had before. She didn’t go in and alter the official forecast, but she did secretly create a new forecast. Her personal goals. They were now higher than the official numbers. I ask her why she did that. “Because I looked at the forecast numbers and thought, ‘That’s not nearly good enough.'”

Marcy expected more from herself than she ever had before. Some limiting beliefs and lack of confidence (she was no simp before, but she was now Hulk-like in confidence) had magically vanished over the span of just 8 minutes. Truth is, it didn’t take the full 8 minutes. Within the first few seconds, when she realized praise was the purpose of the meeting…her mind instantly made a shift into a new gear she didn’t even know she had.

We talk about her. What she says to herself. The power of others expressing belief in us. The power of praise. The need to find the inner fuel necessary when external fuel is lacking. The need to summon up resources on command when she’s alone in the field and the sales call doesn’t go so well.

Mostly, we dwell on the magic of what happened and why. How our minds can change so quickly with some positive affirmation from people who matter – in this case, her boss. She’s young. I encourage her to learn a leadership lesson from it. To grow as a teammate. To focus on looking for things to praise in others, including clients. To show more deeply her appreciation for what others bring to the table. All things she admits weren’t so clear before but now are in 20/20 view.

Clarity is a great thing. So is confidence. Find ways to offer genuine, sincere praise and watch the confidence (and performance) soar.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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Culture Building: Performance or Growth? – Grow Great Daily Brief #180 – April 2, 2019

Culture Building: Performance or Growth? – Grow Great Daily Brief #180 – April 2, 2019

I first heard the phrase “learning organization” in Peter Senge’s 1990 book, The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the Learning Organization. Well, to be fair, at that point in my career I noticed the term. Perhaps it was around long before that, but since I was steeped in small business and not global enterprise-level work…maybe I was late to the game. No matter, as always I was in hot pursuit of the practical application of brainiacs like professor Senge. After all, he earned a PhD from MIT over 3 decades ago.

High performing teams and organizations were more phrases that erupted from enterprise level operations. Makes sense that we should all want that. Sure beats low performing teams and organizations. However, it has spawned a bit of dialogue about performance versus growth.

The practical man that I am, I’ve learned that performance-based cultures may not always work well over the long haul. We likely need to define the phrase though. I mean a culture where performance is prized above most else, or all else. A culture where the measurements matter most. I might describe it as a head culture over a heart culture. Performance-based cultures don’t fret about how people feel, or what they may think. The priority is on what have you done. Measurable accomplishments are the order of the day.

Nobody is slamming a focus on performance. Our organizations must perform or we cease to exist. We certainly can’t thrive if we don’t perform, and at a high level. So I find no fault in working to become or maintain our status as a “high performing company” or “team.” But we might be high performing no matter what culture we have. I’ve known high performing teams within companies where the culture was terribly unhealthy. By any measurement. I’ve known other companies that appeared to have fairly idyllic cultures, but performance was never very high.

It makes me wonder if it’s a cart before the horse notion. We look for organizations that are performing at a high level and we may incorrectly conclude that their culture is partially, or mostly responsible. Maybe. Maybe not.

What’s the sustained performance over time? What’s the growth of the company, organization or team? Are things improving, getting better? What does the consistency of the performance look like?

Two words capture my imagination and attention: purposeful and intentional. How purposeful and intentional is your team or company in developing a culture that will foster whatever it is you’re chasing?

Culture is a living thing. It can and does change over time. Reason being…culture is largely a collection of the beliefs and values that drive the behavior of the people who make up the culture. Teams and organizations tend to take on or push against, the beliefs and values of the leader (or leaders). That’s why I focus so frequently on congruency – the congruency of these values and beliefs within the collective. For example, if honesty is a primary driver value for the leader, but the top salesperson is constantly pushing against that with questionable tactics that aren’t as honest as they could be…there’s a disconnect. That disconnect damages the culture because there is incongruency.

Performance can happen without growth. Growth tends to foster higher performance. It’s a matter of what you value the most – performance or growth?

I’m nudging you to focus on growth as a means toward higher performance. It’s the ideal pathway to have your cake and ability to eat it, too. Some high performance comes at the expense of making the culture toxic. Not worth it in my opinion. You can decide for yourself.

The things needed to build a growth culture are the same qualities necessary to build a growth-focused life, a growth-oriented family, a growth-intensive group or a growth-focused team. See if you don’t find these qualities suitable for higher human performance in your leadership and higher performance among your teammates.

Let’s keep Peter Senge’s phrase in mind, “learning organization.” Any learning organization will be fixated on growth over performance.

Make it safe.

Your role, as a leader, is to provide an environment that feels safe for all your people. It means you and your entire leadership team must live and behave as role models where shortcomings, mistakes and all other errors are owned, not shoved off in a blame game. Finger pointing is out in the growth-focused company. It destroys safety and fosters excuse making.

Learn.

Early in my career I took on the role of buying merchandise for a retail company. Buyers have much better real-time data today than I had when I started. Data was very hard to come by, but I was analytical in wanting to see how well merchandise was performing. It was laborious and cumbersome, but as they say, “The numbers don’t lie.”

Well, anybody who has ever been in charge of purchasing has made mistakes. We do it in our personal lives, too. Ever bought something stupid and wish you hadn’t? Of course!

Stories were circulated in retailing circles about buyers at various elephantine companies where a buyer issued a really big purchase order for a product that performed poorly. I suspected many of these stories were myths, but they often illustrated something about the company, the subject of the story. If the company had a terrible reputation the story would go something like this.

A buyer placed a million dollar P.O. for some merchandise. The company took repeated markdowns (discounts) making multiple efforts to recover their cost. When the dust settled the company lost hundreds of thousands and the buyer was fired.

If the company had a stellar reputation the story went quite differently. Something like this.

A buyer placed a million dollar P.O. for some merchandise. The company took repeated markdowns (discounts) making multiple efforts to recover their cost. When the dust settled the company lost hundreds of thousands. The CEO made sure the buyer wasn’t fired or punished. Instead, the CEO led the parade for the buyer’s leadership team to foster her growth, and figure out what they could all learn together from the experience. As the CEO put it, “Why would I fire her? We spent a million bucks to learn that lesson.”

Growth cultures concentrate on learning. They’re curious. They seek to find out and figure out what they don’t yet know. They also seek a deeper understanding.

Try it. You may like it. Or love it.

The other day I watched a YouTube car reviewer review the 2020 Kia Soul, a quirky compact car. The reviewer gave high marks to Kia for first introducing the vehicle and even higher marks for pushing the quirkiness even higher. Yes, they take some shots from other car snobs about it, but it shows they’re willing to experiment and try things.

Companies intent on having a high growth culture put value – high value – on trying things. They don’t play it safe. They’re willing to test assumptions, ask tough questions and find out if something will work. Or not.

In short, high growth cultures are innovative. Being innovative means a willingness to try things.

Constant feedback.

Some people deride the term, feedback. For me, it’s much ado about nothing. They think feedback signifies being critical. I don’t agree. Instead, I view feedback like I do when driving a car. All the input I get while behind the wheel of my car is feedback that alerts me on things critical to my safety and my progress. Do I have enough fuel? The fuel gauge provides feedback so I know whether or not I need to make a pit stop. Am I in the right gear? I drive a 6-speed manual. The tach and the sound provide feedback telling me I need to advance to a new gear. All this may be critical in the sense that I need it, but it’s not critical in that it’s negative.

In our organizations, we need feedback from all corners. Do we share the desire to improve and grow? Then we owe it to each other to serve each other. Feedback enables us to help each other know our progress or lack of it. And it also enables us to eliminate our blind spots, reduce or eliminate our limiting beliefs, challenge assumptions and so much more.

The five C’s that are my focus may help you, as you work to build the culture you want. It begins with compassion. Without the ability to feel and exhibit compassion for one another, we’re stuck. Nothing advances until that occurs.

Once we embrace compassion we can communicate. Effective communication may not come easily, but we can pull it off. We say what we mean and we mean what we say. We bear responsibility for making sure the recipient of our communication understand properly what we intend to convey.

Next comes connection. Without the first two, this is impossible. People will never connect with you if they don’t think you care about them. And if you don’t care about them, what you communicate doesn’t much matter because they don’t want to listen to you anyway. Isn’t that how you roll?

After connection comes collaboration. That doesn’t have to mean direct collaboration or partnering, but it could mean that. It means we work together. At a more basic level, it means we’re willing to help each other.

All of that combines to give us culture. Culture can be our inner culture, our set of beliefs and values that drive our behavior and choices. It can be a culture that’s established with others – a group or team.

Pursue growth and you’ll likely find higher performance.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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You Only Get What You’re Big Enough To Take – Grow Great Daily Brief #179 – April 1, 2019

Jimmy Hoffa Jr. supposed said it. He the radical attorney son of an infamous mobster boss.

There is no “I” in team. So they say. But there’s no “we” in there either.

As for leadership, you either take it or you don’t get it. Because the word for today does begin with an “i.” IMPOSE.

Impose your will on others or you’ll never get the power you want. Hoffa knows a lot more about it than you do. His daddy taught him well. You use the most inflammatory speech you can. You vilify opponents at every opportunity. In fact, if you’re a true leader you’ll create as many of those opportunities as possible.

The ability to boss other people around is worth the price of your decency, a highly overrated and useless trait. Real leaders don’t bother with nice-sities or being liked. There’s no time for that because true leaders are on a mission to get things done.

Getting things done means getting your way. Because there is no other way. Not unless you want to let the idiots win by voicing opinions. Again, such nonsense is a waste of time. Why in the world would you want to give ear to anybody lesser than you? You wouldn’t. So don’t tolerate it. Shut it down by any means necessary.

IMPOSE. That’s the only way to lead. Impose your will. Impose your agenda. Impose your opinions. At every turn, impose.

Fuel this within yourself by making sure you keep your desires high. What you want must be paramount, especially when compared to the lesser humans around you.

Armed with high expectations for every outcome, knowing that each outcome must be directly favorable toward you, then it’s paramount that you paint others in the least favorable light possible. In fact, it’s best if you’re able to characterize them in ways to make yourself look best, even if those characterizations aren’t quite true. It’s all a means to an end. And the end is you being in charge or maintaining power…so it’s worth it.

Lest you fear that you can overdo imposing your will, pay close attention to people. They’ll shrink and say nothing. Mostly because they just want the moment to pass. Leverage that to further your agenda. After all, you know what’s best. You realize these people are nothing without you. It’s up to you to impose on them long enough so they come to the same wise conclusion you have.

Deploy the style of Yoda. Present yourself as the holder of all wisdom and know-how. You can accelerate this dramatically if you’ll pay attention to the words you use. Use words like “should” often when telling people what to do. Don’t make suggestions or recommendations. Give orders. Issue warnings. Give directives.

Consistency will pay. The longer you impose the more power you’ll gain. Besides, practice makes perfect, but make the practice perfect by imposing all the time. Be relentless in your pursuit of power and authority. Ignore naysayer who call it “tyranny.” Keep remembering that these people are ninnies without a clue how to get things done. Remind yourself – this isn’t hard – that you’re the smartest person…no matter what room you occupy. It’s true. But it’s up to you to display it often enough so you can destroy any power your adversaries may seem to garner.

Think big. Pursue big. And always, always, always be big enough to take whatever you want by any means necessary. If you don’t, the idiots may win and we just can’t let that happen.

Happy April 1st.

Be well. Do good. Grow great. Take what you want!

RC

P.S. I credit the likes of James H. Boren and Stanley Bing for this episode. We’ll be serious tomorrow! 😉

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The Peer Advantage: Why It’s The Greatest Opportunity For You To Grow – Grow Great Daily Brief #178 – March 30, 2019

Yesterday my partner Leo Bottary posted an article about how a peer group can be a gym for leaders. Many years ago Jack Welch was responsible for introducing to me the concept of a business “workout.” Not that I know Jack personally, but I was honored to meet him once! I talked about it in an episode long ago.

Jack’s GE workouts involved problem confrontation and change acceleration. Welch wanted to break away from the bureaucracy and all the associated behaviors that accompany it. Instead, he fostered continuous focus, efficient decision making and fast execution. According to an article published by Booz & Company in 2003, “all but 9% of the approved ideas were followed through.”

Getting to the heart of the matter in fast order was a major objective. Speed kills. And Welch knew it. His workout idea took form in 1987 and was incorporated into the fabric of GE up to the time he walked out the door in 2002.

I bring up the GE workout because it’s why The Peer Advantage is the greatest opportunity for you to grow your business, your leadership and your life. It’s a workout. It’s designed to elevate your fitness.

Welch’s GE workout involved multiple people from various sectors of the company. He wanted diversity because he fostered a degree of combustion he knew teams didn’t always foster. Jack wasn’t trying to create strife, but he want creative tension provided by various viewpoints.

Who you surround yourself with matters. Leo Bottary used that for the tagline in our first podcast, Year Of The Peer. The notion has more ancient origins. 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals.”

Your mom and dad knew it. You passed it on (or tried to) with your children. Who we hang around influences us. For good. Or bad. Show me a person’s closest friends and I’ll be able to see, with a high degree of accuracy, how that person likely lives.

The Peer Advantage is intentionally diverse. Entrepreneurs from various industries, backgrounds, and experiences provide high value. This is how blind spots can be overcome. Multiple viewpoints provide combustion that isn’t destructive, but one that behaves like an engine, it moves us forward.

GE workouts were conducted and led by a senior leader who was part of the workout. This person wasn’t a silent observer, but rather was part of the process. Facilitation is critical. Group discussions – effective group discussions – require effective leadership.

As the chairman of The Peer Advantage my role is to help the group form and live up to the values established. My role isn’t to hold forth or to make unilateral decisions. Instead, my role is to help keep the discussions on point and moving forward knowing that every individual member’s contributions add to create the whole. The power is in the collective and that includes the guide (chairman, facilitator, etc.).

Now the GE workout was about problem-solving within a single corporate environment. This is where The Peer Advantage differs dramatically. At GE the workout leader was empowered to quickly approve or disapprove of ideas. Speed was the key.

Speed is also the key with The Peer Advantage, but since everybody at the table is running their own company, there’s nobody who is going to quickly approve or disapprove of anything. The speed is in the process to help each member of the group – and the group collective – to figure it out. But each person is obligated to decide for themselves without any judgment from the group. That safety provides an environment that fosters comfort, compassion and commitment.

At GE the workout didn’t allow for taking anything under advisement. Decisions were made on the spot. That pressure can (and clearly did have) positive results inside GE’s culture. The Peer Advantage puts pressure on something else – the truth. Your truth.

What’s the best decision YOU can make for your business, your leadership and your life? That’s not the same pressure as the pressure on what somebody else should do. They’re not you. You’re not them. The pressure is on helping each member figure it out for themselves. Owning the problem is just the beginning of owning the solution. The group’s aim is to help accelerate everybody’s ability to figure it out, but the group’s aim is not to make the decision for you. Rather, we want to help empower each other to decide for ourselves.

The Peer Advantage Workout Promise

My why is important. I want to help people grow great. Growing great is possible, but it’s hard. Worthwhile, but difficult. It’s easier and much more fun when others are traveling alongside us, helping us, encouraging us, challenging us and guiding us. Sharing experiences with compassionate people will to serve, and to be served is the promised deliverable. Surrounding ourselves with people working hard to grow will help us grow.

Are you a small business owner in the United States ready to grow and elevate your leadership? Are you ready to improve the people who surround you so you can get on with being the best version of yourself? Then I hope you’ll apply to The Peer Advantage by Bula Network today. Go to BulaNetwork.com/apply and complete that short form. I’ll contact you and we’ll schedule a time to talk on the phone. It’s step one toward a workout that will change your life!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

RC

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The Important Voices In Your Life – Grow Great Daily Brief #177 – March 29, 2019

Do you own a small business in the United States? Are you a US-based entrepreneur? I invite you to check out The Peer Advantage by Bula Network, a forum where 7 entrepreneurs and I come together to elevate your business, leadership and life.

All our meetings will be conveniently conducted online via a video conferencing platform. This isn’t a networking, back scratching group, but a true, honest peer advantage group where business ownership is the tie that binds. You can read all the details at ThePeerAdvantage.com. Just click the apply button, complete the short questionnaire so we can jump on a phone call together where I can find out more about you and your business. I’ll answer any questions you may have, too. I look forward to speaking with you.


 

From the inside out, we’ve all got a number of voices in our life. When we talk about the important voices in your life we’re not necessarily talking about the LOUDEST voices. Frequently those voices are the least important. That makes them really tough to handle. Sometimes it seems impossible to quieten them.

Let’s start with YOU and YOUR VOICE.

Your life has formed a narrative, a story. Neuroscientists teach us that the events of our life don’t necessarily determine our story, but the meanings we ascribe to those events. Easier said than done. We’re not very good at disconnecting ourselves from the things that happen to us.

Look around at the people who have experienced horrific events. Some of the most awful circumstances imaginable. But they not only endure it, but they also overcome it. They embrace behaviors that fuel them to be among the highest achievers. They determine to have a positive impact on others. Examples abound. And I’m not just talking about famous names. There are plenty of people most of us haven’t heard of, but they’re making a big impact in spite of the horrible things that have happened to them.

What makes them different? So resilient?

Wish I knew.

We can apply all kinds of rational and logical thinking to it, but some of it is probably beyond explanation. They just have such mental toughness, and mind made up that they don’t talk to themselves the way others do. While others might lean into being a victim, grow bitter and lament their plight — these folks figure, “What’s the point? How’s that gonna help?” They don’t get bogged down listening to the inner voice of “woe is me.” Quite literally, they build a bridge in their mind and get over it. Their inner voice helps them advance.

Yesterday we talked about energy. Losing it. Or increasing it. The winners in life – and I don’t mean financially, but I mean winner in a much larger sense of it – command the voice in their head. The voice they hear mirrors their made up mind. And that may be the key. They’ve made up their mind that this thing – whatever it may be – isn’t going to stop them from being or trying to be their very best. And that made up mind has a voice. A voice worth listening to. So they do, listen to it.

What about you? What’s your mind made up about? It’s likely the voice you’re listening to in your head is THAT voice. If you want to change the voice in your head you have to first change your mind. Make up your mind that today you’re going to aim better, and higher for your life.

Outside voices can impact our own.

It’s not always bad. Or negative. Sometimes the voices outside are exactly what we need. It happens when we surround ourselves with people who care about us. People who care enough to support us, encourage us, challenge us and serve us so we can grow into an improved version of ourselves.

I’m not being cynical, but most folks don’t fit the bill. It’s hard work to serve others. The most rewarding work (in my opinion), but not fall-off-a-log easy. Certainly not as easy as being hard on people. Or second-guessing people. Or telling people what we think they should do. Those are easy. Ridiculously unprofitable for them, but they make us feel better about ourselves for some perverted reason.

The key to outside voices is to judge them based on who is best being served. This isn’t a selfish endeavor. It’s just practical, honest and real.

The person who wants to be critical is serving himself, not you. Check!

The person who harps about what you ought to do is serving himself, not you. Check!

It drones on and on. Every day we’re surrounded by the ninnies who want to drive our lives from the safe distance of their own life. Problem is, our life is our life. Our context is ours. Our circumstances are ours. It’s not the same as theirs.

Here’s what happens in my work. It’s a judgment-free zone. It’s just perspective. And viewpoint.

The learning comes from questions. It comes from sharing experiences. I’m further up the trail from most of my clients. But even if I’m not further up the trail, my journey has been different. The power is in the differences. The diversity of viewpoints, opinions, and philosophies. It’s challenging, but in the most caring way where the client is always the focus. The client must be served.

Transformation isn’t easy. Or comfortable. But it’s profitable…the most profitable work we can do for ourselves.

Determine the voices that surround you. Dig deeply enough to figure out if those voices are serving themselves or YOU. Who is benefiting? It’s easier to figure out than you may think. Spend time to do the digging.

Once you figure that out, then make up your own mind what you’d like to do with those voices. No, I’m not going to tell you what you should do. I just know those self-serving people who provide no helpful voice to our life are detrimental. But I don’t know all the circumstances or context so it’s up to you to decide whether those are important voices or not. Again, I’m using IMPORTANT as the voices that contribute to helping us grow and improve.

So much of growing great is to figure out what works and what doesn’t. Then to do more of what works and eliminate what doesn’t. Do that with ALL the voices in your life, then let me encourage you to be more selective in the voices you allow to be IMPORTANT.

Me? I just hope to be a small, but important voice in your earbuds urging you to be well, do good and grow great!

RC

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