Personal Development

Episode 117 – How Do You Want To Spend Your Days?

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Her day wasn’t going so well. She was dangling her toes over the ledge, fully prepared to implode – or quit. Frustration boiled over from too many days of chaos. Constant interruptions. Distracted at every turn from doing the work that needed to be done. She’d had enough.

And I asked the question…stopping her dead in her tracks.

He sat across from me lamenting ongoing employee problems. They simply don’t do what he needs. They’re busy solving problems that don’t exist while real problems crop up constantly…without being properly tended to.

And I asked the question…once again, the crickets started chirping.

“How do you want to spend your days?”

We often aim at the outcome we think we’d like, but we don’t often enough consider the daily actions required to achieve that outcome. Thoughtful consideration about how we’d like to spend our time – with an emphasis on our professional/business life – is in order. As with most of life’s important questions, asking is easier than answering.

I want to encourage us to spend time answering the questions. It can help us move forward, even if only by inches. Some days we need to be thankful for inches of progress. But some days, we’ll be able to advance miles. We want opportunities. We want progress. We want improvement. Advancement.

We’re going to fail. Maybe often. So what? Keep swimming. Seth Godin calls it “the dip.”

Everybody experiences a dip. Many of us experience quite a few of them. Keep swimming. Figure out how you want to spend your days.

It only happens when we’re intentional, strategic and methodical. Well, at least part of our time needs to be characterized by those things.

Mentioned in today’s show:

Jeff Dunham: The Birth of a Dummy (a Biography channel show)

• Jeff Dunham finally got on Comedy Central, but only after he went out on a big limb.

Net News Wire (a terrific RSS reader that integrates with Google Reader)

Leave me a comment. I’d love to hear what you think.

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How Do You Know When To Quit?

Ah, the questions of life. How can I get started? Is now a good time to start? How can I know I’m going in the right direction? What’s my best option? So many questions.

Quitting isn’t among the most popular topics to consider. Nobody likes a quitter, we tell our children. Fact is, people quit all the time. Winners quit regularly. It seems contradictory.

Mentioned in today’s show:

David Siteman Garland runs The Rise To The Top. He interviews people.
Andrew Warner runs Mixergy. He interviews people, too.
Jaime Tardy runs The Eventual Millionaire. And she interviews people.
• Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams (the YouTube video; if you’ve never seen it – do it now)

No, I’m not quitting. At least not today!

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Is The Past Or The Future Easier For You Than The Present?

This past Sunday was a big day for Glen Campbell and his family. His story appeared on CBS Sunday Morning. Then Sunday night during the Grammy’s he performed following a tribute to his lifetime contributions. A weekend to remember…for as long as he can. A year for one final tour to support one last record. Campbell has Alzheimer’s disease.

Stories like his give us all reasons to ponder our own situations. Our own lives.

Thanks for watching, listening and giving me part of your time. I know it’s the most valuable thing you’ve got!

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What Men Need Most

Like. Love. Trust. Admire. Adore.

We want others to feel this way toward us. Well, at least we want some people to feel this way toward us.

A young lady wants the handsome prince to come take her away to the life of her dreams. Some young ladies are stuck with not-so-handsome, beneath-royalty bald guys with low voices. At least one of them is. I didn’t start out that way. At least not the bald part.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Not that I really care. My wife doesn’t even care…much. This video isn’t the result of a day where men buy their women more roses and chocolates than any other day. It’s not even the result of over 34 years of marriage.

Two specific things have bubbled these ideas to the top of my usually empty brain.

a) Too many marriages that aren’t what they should be. Sadly, I know too many.

b) My own realization that there was a time when with great anticipation I’d plan a weekend trip to just spend a few precious hours with a girl I loved. Friday would arrive. I’d go to class, then go to work. I’d work until 6pm or so, then drive 11 hours one-way through the night arriving around 6am to a little street in Ft. Worth where she lived. Without sleep I’d relish the few hours we had together. After attending church services on Sunday morning we’d grab a quick bite to eat and down the road I’d go, another 11 hours back home. Eleven sad hours. Horrible drives filled with memories of mere moments together. Thinking to myself, “I’m spending more time driving to her and away from her than I am WITH her.” About 2 miles down the road I’d begin planning my next visit. Such was life for about 3 years until at last I married her and brought her home. We’ve been together now for almost 70% of our lives. With each passing year, that percentage increases. Now there’s a thought, huh?

I love her very much. I’m still the young man driving an orange hot rod 11 hours one-way determined to get to her. I’m older. Wider. With less hair. And my car now has 4 cylinders, not 8. No, it’s not orange. I wish. But it’s faster than Sundance (my 1972 orange one). As you get older you need more speed – because you’ve got less time. Which is why it’s silver. Greater speed requires more stealth.

I realize the level of passion felt by young love is difficult, if not impossible to maintain. Life happens. We get in a groove. We grow older. If we’re blessed, we grow old. We enter a comfort zone. Me? I’m trying to grow more than just old.

I’m growing increasingly committed to reversing the groove where I more diligently honor our time together. For me, it’s an objective and goal of life. To be a man worthy of her admiration and adoration. I suspect she needs it. I know I do. And I believe every man should behave in ways worthy of it…because we all know, it’s what we need most!

 

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Episode 116 – Does The Ground Match Your Map?

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When the ground doesn’t match the map, trust the ground. 

Career or business planning – mapping – is crucial to our success. Some people hate planning, claiming it slows down their action. Movement, motion – those are the activities they value most. Others love planning and spend many hours dotting i’s and crossing t’s.

RSA Animate has some terrific illustrations tethered to compelling speeches or presentations. Quite often they’re TED presentations. Here’s their YouTube channel. It’s one methodology of capturing ideas in a very engaging way. I think it can teach us some valuable things in creating our own career or business mapping.

Allstate calls this commercial, GPS Mayhem. Fitting. It’s what happens to many of us in our careers or businesses. We’re not thinking about where we’re going. We’re not trusting our senses, or even paying close enough attention to know where we’re going. GPS recalculates, shouts an instruction and we turn the wheel sharply. Not the best way to take advantage of mapping.

In a recent Mixery interview, Andrew Warner’s guest (and he wasn’t the first to confess this) admitted that he and his friends spent 2 years working on a software that nobody wanted. They were men of action. No map. No real plan. Just taking action. Unfortunately, nobody wanted what they were creating. In retrospect, they knew they’d have been far better off getting feedback – recalculating the GPS based on the reality of the ground.

Small changes in direction can make big differences. Small details often alter the course of our lives. A decision here. A different decision there. And our lives would be very different. It makes me think of those EPSN segments of sports science. A one degree change here. A one inch arm reach difference. They’re the margin of error, or victory.

Listen to the show, give me your feedback. Am I on the right road to help you?

 

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