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Day 17. September 17, 2021. 

Employment has been disrupted more in the past 18 months than at any other time in my lifetime. The Pandemic, government economic incentives (or whatever else you’d like to call them), and people migrating from one place to another – it’s all led to major problems for employers all over the country. Perhaps worldwide. 

According to commercial real estate services company Cushman & Wakefield, Dallas/Ft. Worth has experienced the largest growth of any metro area in the country. They predict that will continue through 2029 when the DFW may reach 9 million. As of 2018 (the July 2018 census), we were around 7.5 million. It’s estimated there is an average of 200 people moving into the area every day! And we’re not alone in experiencing new citizens. 

With remote work becoming more commonplace, many people are leaving larger metro areas opting for smaller cities and towns where the cost of living is lower and the quality of life may be higher. Some small towns are also offering a cash bounty if families will relocate there. 

We’re experiencing employment disruption. And it crosses every industry sector. From police officers to medical staffers, to nurses, to school teachers, to engineers, and just about any other role you can think of – employers are struggling to find people. We used to say finding good or great people is tough. Today we’re saying finding people is difficult. Many employers report just needing “warm bodies,” and finding it hard.

I don’t bring all this up to depress you, but to introduce an important topic of establishing a high-performance culture. This is important no matter the landscape or economy. A high-performance culture is always vastly better than the alternatives. Even in times like these, the companies with a high-performance culture – an environment that fosters growth, improvement, and high achievement – have a clear advantage. Why wouldn’t you want to lead your enterprise into being such a culture? 

In 1982 I stood before a group of employees and told them, “Who knew being polite would be a competitive advantage? But today, if we’ll be fanatical in saying “please” and “thank you,” “sir” and “ma’am,” then we’ll be vastly ahead of our competition.” It was true then. It’s still true today. 

That illustrates how simple it can be to elevate our work. The hard part is first making up your mind to do it, and then, to follow through with execution. 

So it is with establishing a high-performance culture. It can help us better lead people. 

We’ve been talking about and thinking about story – our narrative. We’ve talked about the importance of crafting our story – figuring out our ideal outcome. Then we talked about writing our story, which is our metaphor for taking full responsibility for the life we live. And then we talked about making sure we tell our story well. Well enough for others to accurately comprehend it, which is how I define understanding. 

Today, let’s talk about the story our employees tell themselves. Few things impact all of us more negatively or positively than the story we tell ourselves. As leaders, we have to be mindful of all our employees, individually and collectively. 

Leaders must provide a great story for every employee. A story that tells them where they fit in the organization and how they make a positive contribution to the enterprise. If we fail to do that, they will craft a story about those things and it will not be good. People don’t automatically think the best. Most of us think the worst. Leadership must serve people with a great story. 

I’m not talking about fables or fiction. This isn’t about patronizing people with something that sounds good but is completely untrue. 

High-performing cultures are killed by many things, but there are 2 things in this area of story that contribute greatly to employee dissatisfaction: not knowing how they can make a positive contribution and incongruency (leadership says one thing, but does something different). 

Whether you’re leading a very small team within the enterprise or you’re the number 1 leading the entire organization, you can influence the outcome. Start by making up your mind that you’re going to grow and improve as a leader. Make up your mind that you’re going to serve everybody so they too can grow and improve. How do they make a positive difference? Tell them. Show them. Make sure they understand it. From the lowest skills workers to the highest skill workers, people need to wake up each workday knowing that what they do matters. And it does. But if they don’t see that, then it won’t be long before they’ll lose heart. In time, you’ll lose their physical contributions because their heart left long ago. Avoid that by making sure they know and are constantly reminded of where they fit and how their work makes a positive difference!

Don’t be a hypocrite. I’ve preached that sermon before, but we have to keep preaching it because it’s easy to say one thing and do something completely contrary. Some think as long as we say the right things, then it doesn’t matter what we do. Wrong! Our actions and words must be congruent. It’s among the chief reasons why people leave. They can’t make sense of the incongruency. They hear what we say. They see what we do. They pay attention to our actions and decisions. When they don’t match up, people are confused. Worse yet, they lose trust (assuming they ever had it). And when we lose the trust of people, we lose the people. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Day 16. September 16, 2021.

Writing your story means architecting your life. Living the life you most want to live. Hopefully, that means being as good as you can be. 

Today, we’re thinking about telling our story. We want to pursue our ideal outcome and give high effort to growing and improving. We also want others to accurately comprehend (understand) our story. 

Misunderstandings are common. Up and down every organization. People get pegged as somebody a bit differently than who they really are. The false assumptions don’t have to be dramatic to have a negative impact. Even slight misconceptions can derail a career. 

Are you responsible for people misunderstanding you? Yes. Remember the power of the corner, the mirror, and moving forward. You refuse to make excuses and you accept responsibility for everything! Again, we’re not finger-pointing. We’re working to find a path forward in our life. Can people still get it wrong in spite of our best efforts? Yes. But that’s on them. What is on us is giving it our best effort to help them get it right. We’re all able to do what we want – including people who are determined to think the worst or get it wrong. 

Consider the options here. You can refuse to accept responsibility for helping others understand – accurately comprehend who and what you are – and some people will innocently fail to understand because you didn’t do your best. Had you done better, they’d have better understood. The folks determined to judge you harshly will likely always judge you harshly no matter what you do. Question: Should you still do your best? Of course. Because it’s the right thing to do. 

Words matter. Be sure you’re telling your story with language that helps people understand, especially your boss (and frankly anybody else you’d like to influence). 

Don’t be lazy. Or irresponsible. Remember, this is the story you are writing and influence is all about people reading, seeing, and understanding your story. We’re talking about your life. Professionally and personally.

Imagine Stephen King writing a great story. That is, he has in mind this awesome story that he knows will be as compelling as anything he’s ever written. Unfortunately, in an uncharacteristic fashion, suppose he fails to write it as clearly as he usually does. The story is terrific. He just fails to do his usual world-class job of telling it. Is it his responsibility or the reader’s responsibility to get it right? 

You must be the guardian to YOUR story. That means you have to handle it with the care it deserves. It’s in your best interest – and in the interest of the positive influence you want to have – that you take telling your story seriously. 

The easy excuse is, “Well, that’s not my problem.” Maybe it’s not your problem, but it is your responsibility. 

Consider Cindi, a VP of a software company that specializes in accounting for aerospace manufacturing. Cindi reports to the COO, the Chief Operating Officer. She is smart, capable and according to her boss, Kelly (the COO), “She’s not taking seriously enough building her team.” Kelly wants to help Cindi add some skills to her leadership, but she’s got a story built of how Cindi operates. Kelly believes Cindi views people development as a task to be completed. Kelly views it as an ongoing endeavor, one she’d like every member of her leadership team (about 7 direct reports) to make part of their ongoing work. The CEO is very intent on having a team that grows together because he believes part of the company’s competitive strength is having people who are learning together year after year. Regularly, he preaches about the power of continuity. Kelly fears Cindi doesn’t fully understand that directive or may not know how to achieve it in her department. 

Cindi is a high achiever. She has a reputation as somebody who will get the job done. Quickly, efficiently and effectively. People like her, too – which helps. She also has a reputation as somebody is knocking off a to-do list as well as anybody in the company. Turns out, Cindi does need a bit of help in the people development part of her job, but mostly, she needs to work on how others are reading her story. 

She is bringing along two people who are part of her leadership team. They report all sorts of things Cindi does personally to help them grow and improve. It’s clear they have great respect for her and both indicate she’s among the best bosses they’ve ever had. I start getting a different story from the story the C-suite knows. 

Over time it becomes apparent that Cindi is so intent on acting proactively that her speed is causing her to spend no time – I mean NO TIME – in making sure she’s accurately even telling her story. I’m not talking about bragging or looking for accolades. I’m talking about simply being informative to her boss, Kelly. Cindi admits she has never considered sharing some things with Kelly. “I never thought that was important. I just let my work speak for itself,” she says. 

Her work isn’t speaking for itself though. People are drawing conclusions that aren’t quite accurate about Cindi’s work in making sure her department has the bench strength so important to the CEO. At first, Cindi is put off thinking this is so ridiculous, but she quickly realizes her best response is to kick all the excuses to the curb and focus on doing what is best for the company, for her boss, for herself, and for her team. By accepting responsibility for the way others “read” her story, she now feels more in control of the narrative. And understands that writing is just part one. Part two is telling it in a way where everybody has the opportunity to truly understand it. 

Cindi learns that telling her story is her responsibility. She starts learning how to tell it so Kelly, her boss, and everybody else, understand it better. In fact, within 30 days Kelly reports that she’s noticing Cindi’s progress. “I can tell she is starting to take more seriously ensuring the continuity of her team,” says Kelly, Cindi’s boss. Truth is, Cindi is putting on the work to get better at that, but mostly, Cindi has changed how she’s telling her story, and the influence she now has – and her narrative – is changing because of it. 

Sometimes it’s important for us to change the story we’re writing (by crafting our ideal outcome). Sometimes we need to alter the way we’re telling our story because people aren’t quite getting it right. Write your story well. Tell it even better!

…or if you fail to tell your story well. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Here we are at the halfway point in our 30 Day Micro Leadership Course. Day 15, September 15, 2021. 

Writing Your Story

View your life like a book comprised of many chapters. Your name is on the cover. You alone are writing the story. There may be many characters who are part of your story, but they’re not writing it with you. You’re in control of the writing because you alone are taking full responsibility for your life, remember? No more excuses!

Your humanity is going to come through in the book you’re writing. Some chapters of your life aren’t going to be ideal. Bad things are going to happen to you. Sometimes they might even be your own fault. But even if they aren’t, you’re going to own it all. There’s no downside to you when you do. It’s the path forward. 

You can write great chapters to your life. Chapter after chapter. Even when bad things happen, you can still write a great chapter of determination to get through the tough or bad times. Here in a few days, I’ll tell you more about the hero journey – the journey you’re going to write about. That’s in stark contrast to the victim journey many are writing. Maybe you’ve written your story as a victim’s journey in the past, but that was then. This is NOW.

Your story will be congruent with the pursuit of your ideal outcome. That’s why it’s urgent that you get clear on your ideal outcome. Again, don’t worry about it being unchangeable. Just make sure it’s what you most want to happen today! As you continue to write your story you’ll adjust for things that happen. Twists and turns will be a big part of your story. That’s how life goes. Your response to those twists and turns is what will characterize your story. And you’re in charge of those reactions. 

Based on my work I must insert here that your story is a complete story. It’s not singularly based solely on who you are at work. Are you a wife? A husband? A father? A mother? A son? A daughter? Are you a grandparent? How do you spend your free time? What things do you love? What do you hate? What are you saving your money for? There are a variety of things that determine your context. I’m not saying that your boss or your teammates know all these things…or that they should. I am saying all these things – and more – are part of your story though. 

I’m a husband, father, and grandfather. These are just 3 roles in my story, but they’re very important. And some of the parts of my story are horrible because I’ve suffered some tremendous sorrows. Some far beyond my control, but all of my reactions to them — fully in my control. My suffering is part of my story. Each time I have to carefully write and craft the story of my reaction to the suffering. So must you. 

I want to make sure you really understand the task. This isn’t about some fantasy or work of fiction. It’s you crafting your life – writing your story. Think of it as a completely accurate autobiography. Every detail is chronicled. Nothing is left out. 

Writers pre-think what they’re writing about. You should, too. Don’t just let life happen without thinking about what you most want to happen. And how you most want the story to go. 

Since we’re focused on leadership then we have to focus a bit more on that. Your leadership.

What kind of a leader are you – and how is that going to differ from the leader you most want to become? How can you begin to write a better story, one more congruent with how you’d like to be. Only fools think it can just happen. Heros know they have to make intentional decisions to bring out the best story possible. Act like a hero. 

Begin with your own dissatisfaction. What parts of your story do you acknowledge as true, but you don’t like them? 

It’s the quickest place to begin to write a better story. As you do, keep looking at the mirror to improve your accurate comprehension of who you really are. You can’t ignore reality and think you’ll write a work of fiction that you – and others – will see as true. This isn’t the work of a hypocrite. It’s not a work of fantasy. Or deception. Or self-delusion. It’s 100% true. So make it how you most want it to be because you’ll know if you’re lying. You are the writer and you’re also the first and most important reader of your story. Make yourself proud. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Welcome to day 14 of our 30 Day Micro Leadership Course.

We’ve covered an awful lot of ground and I hope you’re finding the course helpful so far. Just remember, there’s a vast difference between knowing and doing. Make sure you put things into practice. We want this information to benefit you in real life. When we get to the end I’m going to ask you to email me how things have helped you. 

Today, I want to introduce you to a concept that is as powerful as anything you can do to improve your life as a leader. Yesterday we introduced the power of the corner, the power of looking into the mirror, and the power of getting out of the corner by moving forward. It’s all part of the process required so we at long last stop making excuses. 

Your Ideal Outcome Is Your Story

This is about your narrative, your story. Mostly, it’s about you taking full control over the story you’re writing. It’s not about you controlling (because you can’t) the story others write about you. We all have our share of harsh critics, people who enjoy making false assumptions about it based on beliefs they “know” are true. We also have our critics who read the worst chapter of our life and will forever judge us based only on that chapter. Don’t be preoccupied with them. Better yet, don’t even give them the first thought – much less the second one!

Ghostwriters abound. People are willing to craft your story to their liking. You can choose to let them influence your own writing of your life, or you can ignore them and get busy writing the story you want as you pursue your ideal outcome. 

Let’s just concentrate on writing the best story possible. That’s what we learn while we’re in that corner. Let’s not forget it. It’s an important lesson.

We have to keep in mind that sometimes people are listening or reading the story we’re writing and we’re unhappy with it. Now that we’re in the land of NO MORE excuses we’re going to accept responsibility for it. Sometimes people conclude things about us that we resent until we figure out that we’re the ones writing the story they’re reading. 

His boss tells me, “He’s not a very good delegator.” I ask him to explain. He mentions the many times this executive, one of his direct reports, talks about doing things himself. The boss offers me many examples of conversations where this member of his leadership team seems to perform tasks himself. The boss rightly concludes this member of his team likely needs to learn how to delegate. Additionally, the boss believes this executive’s team – of about 4 direct reports – is not being fully developed. He tells me, “There’s no way his team is growing with him taking full ownership of all these things. I need him to develop his bench better and be more strategic.”

Armed with the boss’ perspective, I meet with the executive. About 40 minutes into our conversation he has mentioned a few times the work of his team. I’m getting a very different notion of how he’s interacting with his team. It’s obvious the team members are performing, at least in his mind. I need to find out what’s true and what might be falsely assumed. The stories aren’t congruent. 

“Tell me about how your boss views the work of your team,” I ask. He goes on to tell me how the boss likes members of the leadership team to be in the center of things and be leaders who make a firsthand difference. “Tell me more,” I request. “Well, at every staff meeting it’s petty competitive for all of us to make sure we get credit for what’s happening in our area.”

I listen, making mental notes of just now different these stories are. 

Over the next few weeks, I follow the evidence. I dive into finding out what’s really going on. Conclusion? The employee thinks he’s telling the story his boss wants to hear. Instead, he’s telling the boss a story that doesn’t serve him, his team, or his boss. After visiting with his team it’s clear to me they’re strong, performing at a fairly high level. He is strategic, but he’s telling his boss a story that isn’t accurately portraying the work. So we get busy figuring out how he can not only write a better story, but tell a better story – one more accurate to who he really is and what he and his team are really doing. 

Sometimes we’re writing the story we want, but we’re failing to tell it as well as we could. Both matter. 

Next time we’re going to focus on writing it, then we’ll follow that up with a more focused conversation about how to make sure we’re telling it well. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Day 13. September 13, 2021. Welcome back to our 30-Day Micro Leadership Course.

“A change will do you good,” sings Sheryl Crow. She’s right. 

That doesn’t make it popular or easy. Transforming ourselves is arduous work. I suspect many people rather enjoy being stuck because it’s comfortable. “The devil you know” and all that. 

Change involves embracing the unknown, but it also involves the pursuit of the ideal outcome. YOUR ideal outcome. That should excite you. 

We want to get better. We just don’t want to change in order to do it. 😉 It’d be easier if others would change so we didn’t have to.

Here’s my 3-step approach to how we can foster growth and improvement. 

One: The power of the corner

My coaching obligation to every client is to help them paint themselves into the corner where the magic happens. It’s not my job to paint them in a corner – which is a metaphor for eliminating all the excuses. My job is to help them paint themselves into the corner because they’re ready or preparing to get ready to change. They want to grow and improve but may be struggling to figure out how. 

The corner literally puts our back against the wall with nowhere to go except forward. No more backing up. No more wiggling out of it. Time to face the realities of where we are and where we most want to go. 

Until we suck all the oxygen out of the room where our excuses live, they’ll continue to thrive. That’s the power of the corner. We have willingly go there though. It’s unprofitable most of the time when others attempt to paint us in the corner. Self-improvement is how we refer to the work. For good reason. It’s something we must do for ourselves! Sure, others can help us, but helping and telling are different things. 

Today, I encourage you to look at the corner not as a place of punishment (like a doghouse) but a place you can finally – at long last – you can move forward. Maybe in an unprecedented fashion.

Two: The power of the mirror

Once we’re in the corner, ready to ditch every excuse it’s time to grab the mirror and stare intently into it. It’s time to come face-to-face with ourselves. To look at our weaknesses, strengths, challenges, and opportunities. Self-examination is required, but there’s much more to it. Accurate self-examination. Merely looking at ourselves isn’t enough. It’s urgent and critical for us to make sure we’re seeing ourselves accurately. Remember my definition of understanding — 

Understanding is accurate comprehension.

Self-examination is worthless unless it’s accurate. 

The mirror also represents our commitment to look squarely at ourselves and avoid blaming others. Or blaming circumstances. We refuse to hold the mirror up to others. It’s for our use only. 

As we stare intently into ourselves we acknowledge whatever we’re thinking, feeling, believing, and doing as our responsibility. It’s not about assigning blame. Blame doesn’t matter. This isn’t a fault-finding exercise. It’s time to let all that go. Forget about it. 

Instead, focus on accepting responsibility for everything. And I do mean everything. 

Why not?

Here’s what happens when you do – you empower yourself. You give yourself permission to control whatever you can. That frees you to change anything having to do with your own choices – which includes quite a lot of your life. More than you may have earlier thought. 

Three: The power of getting out of the corner.

Once we come face-to-face with ourselves and accept responsibility for our ideal outcome – or whatever outcomes have occurred up to this point – now we’re ready to move forward. The power of the corner isn’t found in staying there, but in going there and staying long enough to rid ourselves of making excuses. It takes however long it takes. Spend whatever time in the corner with the mirror until you see things clearly and accurately. And until you willingly say, “If it is to be, it’s up to me!”

Only then you can move forward and escape the corner. 

Everybody needs redemption. Think of your forward progress out of the corner as redemption. It’s your get out of jail card where you can at long last be in more control over your life. 

Now you’re not running from anything. Instead, you’re running toward something – YOUR IDEAL OUTCOME.

It’s not my ideal outcome. It’s not anybody else’s ideal outcome. It belongs to you and you alone must figure out what it’s going to be. And it’s not static. It’s always subject to change because you’re now fully committed to growth, improvement, and transformation into a better version of yourself. That’s not being fickle – that’s adjusting your ambitions to more ideally suit what you most want to happen. And as a result, you adjust your thoughts, beliefs and actions to make it come true. 

No, there are no guarantees. You might achieve your ideal outcome. You might not. And you might change things up realizing what you thought you wanted wasn’t what you wanted after all. You can change your mind. You can change your life. All for the better. It’s your life and you can direct it as you’d like. 

Just remember, you’ve now accepted responsibility for everything. All of it. Failure. Neglect. Achievement. Constraints. Opportunities. You own them all, which means you have a large degree of power over them. 

Can you overcome all of them? Maybe not. But the ones you can’t overcome…they can be endured. 

Influence as much as you can so have the life you want. Hardships will come. And those will be your chief learning opportunities. That’s how it works. Don’t resent having tough times. See them for the chances to grow stronger because that’s what they are. 

So get busy thinking about how quickly you want to get to the corner and rid yourself of all the excuses you’ve been making for why you don’t have the life you want – or why you’re not the person you’d most like to be.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!