It’s a new feature, On Being Extraordinary. Today’s installment is fundamental. Then again, most acts of being extraordinary are actually quite simple. This story proves the point.
A lady from Europe reaches out to a North American prospect in hopes of selling her services. She’s had some email communication with the prospect through her assistant. The prospect has forwarded a PDF of some critical information about himself and the company. He’s included all of his contact information, including his name, in the PDF.
A Skype call is scheduled by the professional services firm. The time and Skype ID are included. The email says nothing about whether this Skype call will be video or audio only.
The prospect submits a connection request to the seller. She never asked for the prospects Skype ID.
At the appointed time the prospect is on Skype awaiting the call. Three minutes past the appointed time the seller calls. Immediately, she’s on video. The prospect greets her in a friendly manner, but he hasn’t got his webcam set up so he’s only on audio.
The seller immediately asks him if he’s got video ability. He tells her he wasn’t told this would be a video call. “Well, then can we reschedule?” she asks. She also calls him “William” even though all his prior correspondence says, “Bill.” His name isn’t William. It’s Bill. He decides not to correct her, wondering how long she’ll continue to call him by the wrong name.
She insists he be on video. Irked he accommodates her asking her to stand by while he plugs in a webcam to his desktop computer. Within less than 2 minutes he’s on video.
She doesn’t thank him for the effort, but does continue to call him “William.” She begins asking him questions, including some that are answered in his PDF. More than twice, he prefaces answers with, “As it says in my PDF…”
Do you think it’s going to go well for her?
You’re right. It doesn’t.
Briefly, these are the things she did terribly wrong:
She neglected to give the prospect clear instructions on how the Skype call would go. Rather than asking him to send the Skype connection request, she should have sent him one, proving that she was willing to do the heavy lifting here. Additionally, she never said that it needed to be a video call. Turns out Bill never figured out why it had to be video. She never shared a screen. It was simply the two of them talking to each other. He’d have happily obliged if he had known she wanted a video call.
She was curt, telling him she’d have to reschedule if he couldn’t get video working. Talk about pressure of the moment. Bill should have disconnected the call right then and there, but Bill’s more polite than the seller.
She called him “William” throughout the call, never once calling him by the only name appearing on prior correspondence. Bill was most unhappy about that. “It’s clear she’s not even looked at the documents I’ve sent her,” he said. “She got my name wrong and asked me questions that my document answered.”
Bill hangs up after 20 minutes wondering how the selling company has any business. He’s not buying anything they’re selling.
Now, you wanna know the irony of the whole thing?
The seller’s business is in helping companies build cultures that deliver superior customer experiences.
Yeah, Bill found that pretty funny. I found it…sad.
The practice has been around for as long as I can remember, but it’s only had a name for the past 20 years or so. Biz Dev. Business Development.
Businesses used to be focused on being independent. It was a badge of honor to do everything yourself. That was especially true of small business. A hard charging small business owner never wanted to rely on anybody else or anything else to achieve success. It was that self-made man syndrome. Thankfully, somebody figured out that was a stupid strategy.
Larger business had long practiced collaboration, sometimes even with competitors. They just have to be careful to avoid being accused of collusion. That was then. This is now.
Today, the word is interdependence, not independence. Enter the practice known as business development.
Business development is the practice and process of growing a business fast by partnering with other businesses to enter a market that might otherwise be unreachable.
Some have speculated that modern biz dev began in Silicon Valley where everybody knew everybody, and where employees often went from one company to another. I suspect that with the advent of the Internet and high technology, Silicon Valley propelled the process faster than ever before, but businesses have partnered for a long time. It was an informal, individualized process though that hinged mostly on the owner of one business seeking out the promotional help of another business man. Long before the “biz dev” title took form, we simply referred to it as “cross promotion.”
Back in the 80’s during the early years of the video revolution consumer electronics stores sold blank VHS and BETA videotapes. I was working for a consumer electronics/record and tape retailer. The owner and founder was a creative guy. He got an idea to have 3M, makers of the Scotch brand of tape, including videotape, bundle a 6-pack of tape. Then, he got Coca-Cola – the local bottler – to give away a 6-pack of COKE with the purchase of a 6-pack of VHS or BETA blank videotape. It was an outstanding cross promotion tool. We sold truckloads of blank videotape, 6 at a time.
Did it penetrate a market not otherwise available? No, not really. It just moved a lot more blank videotape. Sales skyrocketed. It could be argued that we sold blank tape to people who might not have otherwise purchased it…so that would fit the “new market” definition. But that’s a subtle, but important distinction between cross promotion and business development.
Marketing and sales types don’t likely care because we all want to drive business. We want more sales, more customers and higher profits.
Fast growth is achievable because alliances and partnerships give us the ability to reach more people, and sometimes to reach completely different people. When it’s done well, biz dev doesn’t seek just it’s own, but it seeks to benefit the strategic partners. This is where so many companies get it wrong. They know what they want, but they don’t consider what their potential partners or alliances want. Biz dev is not a one-way street. Not if it’s going to be effective in driving business fast. And not if it’s going to be sustainable growth.
Business development isn’t a gimmick. It’s not a method of spiking business. Promotion spikes business. Biz dev is a methodical, sustainable, ongoing practice that can elevate a business to heights that would otherwise be unattainable.
In 2000 the Wall Street Journal published an article about Staples. John Mahoney was the CFO of Staples at that time.
“In the world of the Internet, you never know — your friends can be your enemies, and your enemies can be your friends,” says John Mahoney, Staples’ chief financial officer.
The Lone Ranger wasn’t really alone. He had Tonto.
The Lone Ranger had Tonto. Johnny had Ed. Tom Petty has Mike Campbell.
Leaders need supporters to help them lead. I’m not talking about followers. I’m talking about the #1 follower. That someone special who the leader can’t do without. That person whose identity is so joined to the leader that they’re considered more like a team.
Inseparable really. The Lone Ranger needed Tonto. Johnny needed Ed and I’m a rabid Heartbreakers’ fan, unable to imagine Tom Petty without Mike. These are special partnerships where the two people aren’t equal – one is clearly in a position of leadership – but their work together excels in ways neither of them would otherwise realize. They both know they need each other. And they serve and support each other.
Effective leaders need a right-hand person who will provide superior support and feedback. It’s not a role just anybody can fill. It takes a special breed of person to give of themselves in a way to help somebody else.
Ego and envy usually get in the way. People can find it difficult to give of themselves so fully as to support somebody else’s success. But that’s exactly what must happen if you’re going to be a remarkable #2.
“I’m not gonna invest my career in him,” he tells me. The conversation had centered around taking responsibility for one’s career, something I think we should all do. But I’m sitting here wondering if I’ve been misunderstood.
“You have to invest in people though,” I exclaim. “Do you disagree?”
“Depends on how you define invest, I suppose,” he says.
What ensues is a long discussion about the limits of service and how that may impact our lives and our careers. We talk about rebellion, going your own way, carving out a path all your own and hoards of other idyllic philosophies. So I try to bring things back to the real world of figuring out who we are, what we are and how we can make the most of it.
My conversation partner is not a #1 guy. He’s a #2 guy, but he’s not a very good #2 guy. I know he’s not highly regarded by some in the organization. He doesn’t lack self-esteem. He lacks self-awareness.
I’ve encountered considerable self-absorption through the years. Plenty of people are delusional about their work, their careers and how others perceive them.
So I aim the discussion toward reputation management, something my conversation partner isn’t too keen on. He doesn’t think it’s necessary. He thinks it’s so much drivel that isn’t his problem, but somebody else’s.
I ask, “Do think I’m invested in you?” He looks at me, then peers around the room. Now I’ve spent hours with this guy. I’ve had more private conversations with his superiors than he’s even aware of. This isn’t my first rodeo and I can easily spot a person who brings value to the organization. This guy brings value. Unfortunately, he doesn’t bring enough. Yet. He can. He’s just resisting jumping higher to be part of the solutions. Too often he’s part of the problem and my job is to help him see it, explore ways to find solutions and to persuade him that he’s serving himself best when he’s serving those above him.
“I’m not sure,” he finally answers. I tell him that I think that’s fair, but I try to reassure him (I’ve assured him every single time we’ve talked) that I’m only here to serve him by helping him.
The conversation continues with much advancement. I leave feeling empty and sad. His bravado and outward confidence isn’t serving him well. I see the future and it’s not wonderful. So I leave wondering if I can do anything to convince him that his aspirations for top dog leadership are being stymied by his own arrogance. Early on I knew he was one of those “I’m the smartest guy in the room” people. He still is, even when his boss is in the room. Maybe especially when his boss is in the room.
Days later the boss wants to know, “How did you meeting with _________ go?”
I’m not going to lie. Or fluff it up. “Not very well,” I report. “I’m sorry that I’m not yet able to reach him because I know the value he can bring, but I also know the hurdles he presents. What are you seeing?”
The boss answers me. “I”m seeing some subtle things change. I suspect he’s learning more than you may think.”
He continues, “Don’t sweat it. He’s gonna have to decide for himself what he’s going to do.”
The boss sounds resigned. And I get it. He’s been looking for a solid #2 for a few years. He’s invested a lot of time and effort into this guy. Hoping he’d be the one. The guy’s got all the skills necessary, but he’s just more trouble than he’s worth on more days than not. And I knew the boss was tired of it when I first arrived. It’s what brought me the party. My job was to a) find out if the guy could adjust and adapt, b) provide him the tools necessary to be a capable #2 and c) help the boss learn some techniques to help the process. Along the way we’ve accomplished some pretty important stuff. The boss is pleased with my efforts. I knew he would be. I work hard. Nobody is going to try harder. I’m going to make sure of it. But I’m empty. Lost in how to help a person see what the rest of us think should be obvious.
“I just don’t care any more. I know what I’ve got to do,” says the boss. “I’m sorry,” I say.
“Don’t be. You’ve said it yourself. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Maybe we’ve got a jackass on our hands anyway.” He laughs. So do I.
“You know I’m not going to try to embed myself ’cause that’s not how I roll, but I’m perfectly willing to try whatever you feel might help.” I’m tough minded and I hate to lose. But I know I’m not in control of how somebody else lives their life.
“Let’s keep our work going,” he says. “What we’re doing together is important, but I don’t want you wasting any more time on him. I’d rather benefit from your insight myself.”
And so it goes. A man with an opportunity to be a dynamite #2 is sooner or later going to be somebody somewhere else. He won’t likely be a #2. Or #3. All for the lack of seeing how his own career might benefit from hoisting up his boss with superior support and service. He just can’t bring himself to be Tonto, or Ed or Mike Campbell.
Lately I’ve been listening to the new Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers‘ record, Hypnotic Eye. I’ve seen this band live a few times. I bought the first record in 1976. Almost 40 years ago. Mike Campbell has been there every step of the way. And I wonder how differently thing might have turned out had Tom and Mike not stuck together. I wonder what might have happened if Mike couldn’t have withstood Tom being in the spotlight. Thankfully, for fans like me, the two of them realized they had something special and significant together that neither of them would have alone.
Could Tom have succeeded without Mike? Vice versa. Sure. They’re both talented guys. But we wouldn’t have Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. What a loss!
The band returned to their hometown of Gainsville, Florida back on October 28, 2008. It was their famous 30th anniversary show which was part of a documentary about them done by Peter Bogdanovich. During that show Tom introduced Mike as “the co-captain.” I bought the DVD when it came out and remember thinking when I heard Tom say that, “I’m sure glad Mike is cool with that.” And why shouldn’t he be? What a terrific musical career they’ve had together. Something remarkable!
Can you imagine the Rolling Stones without Mick and Keith together? Me neither. That’s how these things can go when people put something bigger ahead of themselves. Easier said than done for some. Maybe most even.
We can’t all be #1. Nor can we all be #2. Those are special situations.
For the past few years I’ve concentrated considerable effort in helping people with a strong #2 opportunity see that role and fulfill it. These are the people who can most help leaders lead. It’s an awesome responsibility and gift.
Leaders need a strong #2. The great leaders have them. The mediocre ones don’t. That’s just how it is. Steve Jobs needed Woz. Gates had Ballmer, Microsoft’s first business manager. You can see examples of it everywhere. A leader propelled to higher climes by having the push of a strong c0hort willing to do what must to be done so together they can be remarkable. It’s us. Together. Without concern for who gets the lion share of limelight. Because the work matters. The accomplishment is the thing.
Business. Music. Art. I don’t care what the endeavor is, leaders need those who help them lead. No leader has enough brilliance or anything else to go it alone. Besides, if you’re going it alone you’re not a leader. People follow leaders, not loners.
Maybe the guy or gal who would be a great #2 is born to it like a leader often seems to be. Maybe they emerge instead of being created, or encouraged. Still I try…especially when a leader so desperately wants to help a person reach #2 status.
There are a few qualities that I’m sure can be developed though. So if you’re interested in being a great #2 or in finding one, these tips may help.
1. The respect and admiration for the leader have to be genuine.
Anybody who thinks they can be a strong #2 and constantly criticize or argue with the boss or leader (#1) has already proven themselves unworthy to the task. In every case of successful collaboration between a #1 and #2 there is mutual respect and admiration that runs deep and true. It’s not contrived or fake.
Don’t try to fake it. You’re better off looking for somebody worthy of your true respect and admiration. If you’ve been looking for awhile unsuccessfully, then quit trying to be a good #2. Go ahead and join the herd who thinks they know everything. The masses who will live with discontentment, dissatisfied in being part of a team.
Find a cave. Enter. Stay there. Die there for all I care, but leave the rest of us alone ’cause you don’t contribute to our good effort.
2. The leader is the #1 customer.
We all serve somebody. Most of us serve a lot of people. We have to.
The strong #2 knows the person he serves most in the endeavor. It’s the boss, the leader. If the boss ain’t happy, the #2 works hard to change that. It’s their mission in life.
Like respect and admiration, it’s just an automatic sort of response. There’s no resentment about it. There’s no whining or complaining. It’s just the mission – to remedy the problem for the leader. To contribute. To be part of the solution, never part of the problem.
3. The strong #2 earns inner circle status and knows how to manage that responsibly.
There’s a time for debate and a time to salute an order. The strong #2 knows the difference instinctively. Sometimes the leader needs candid feedback that only the #2 can provide. But other times, the leader needs the #2 to lead the parade in supporting the mission so the troops see the commitment to advance.
Strong #2’s don’t cause the leader any public grief or conflict. They value their inner circle responsibility and remain true to it.
Mike Campbell, Tom Petty’s co-captain (photo courtesy DebiDelgrande.com)
4. Envy and jealousy are replaced by joint participation and joy.
The strong #2 finds joy in the art of serving the highly respected #1. Mike Campbell can’t likely imagine playing lead guitar for anybody other than Tom Petty. And why would he? He’s got a very special relationship with Tom. There’s a joy he can get from playing music with Tom that he couldn’t find anywhere else. It’s not about Tom being the best. It’s about them being the best together!
I’m not bold enough to think strong #2’s never feel any emotions of envy or jealousy, but I know they don’t feel them long enough to act on them. Rather, they deem the work more important. Their sense of accomplishment and joy override any negative emotions that might damage the relationship.
Conclusion
There’s something quite special about being a leader, but there’s also something remarkable about the responsibility and opportunity to be among the top ones who help propel them lead. The entire team is benefited not just by the leader, but the #2. Together, they form a tandem of leadership that drives the success of the enterprise. It’s like double the horsepower to reach an objective that otherwise might be out of reach.
Sometimes the #2 must push. Other times, they have to pull. Whatever it takes to get the job done. It’s about as opposite of the remark I heard, “I’m not going to invest my career in him.” Then find somebody you can invest in because we’ve all got to serve somebody.
Photo of Mike Campbell used with permission of Debi Delgrande
Do more of what works. Stop doing what isn’t working.
Sound advice. Unfortunately, not always easy. And sometimes we’re stymied with the riddle, “How do I know if I’ve given it a fair chance?”
You don’t. It’s a crap shoot. Sometimes you get a face full of crap. Sometimes you don’t. You’ll know it when you feel it.
This much I know – sometimes it’s best to not even try to figure it out. Sometimes it’s just best to stop doing what you’re doing because deep down inside you know it’s not working. Who cares why? Just stop it so you can start something else. Something new.
No guarantees the new thing will work either, but at least it’s a change. Maybe for the better. You won’t know until you try.
You should consider rebranding or renaming, or both, when you really feel you have given the effort to get some traction – some real sign of success – and it’s just not happening. What’s success? Depends on what you’re chasing. Maybe it’s customers, clients or patrons. Maybe it’s revenues. Maybe it’s exposure or attention represented in attracting a crowd or audience. It can be all sorts of things. You’ve got to decide what it is for you.
Here’s the thing. You know if you’re achieving success or not. And you know if things are on the uptick or not. If not, my advice is quit. Give up. Stop doing what you’re doing.
I May Quit, But Not Today
That’s been my lifelong mantra, but I break it all the time. Like so many little ditties, it sounds wise, doesn’t it? And it is. Sometimes. But not all the time.
Sometimes it’s stupid.
One of these days I’ll do a show on my ever growing list of things that sound smart, but aren’t. I can come up with such statements as good as the next guy. Maybe better than most. Hence, the statement, “I may quit, but not today.” My wit and witticisms know no bounds of stupidity.
But today is the day. I mean, you can’t avoid quitting forever. One day has to be the faithful day that you actually do quit. Because it’s likely past time. Truth be told, you should have quit a long time ago, but you were afraid. You listened to all the pundits tell you how powerful courage, resilience and persistence are. And you believed it. Dumb you. Well, not really. We all believe it. Or we want to.
Deep down inside you questioned it though, didn’t you? You kept wondering if it might be a mistake to keep slogging on.
You listened to social media. You read all the cool books. You followed all the popular blogs.
There’s that collective wisdom that captured your imagination and seemed to be so right. Seth Godin’s Dip resonated with you. Then there are all the stories of people who persisted through thick and thin making you feel like a real loser if you quit now.
But you really know it’s time to quit. It’s hard, but reality slams you to the ground with a sobering force.
Sometimes The Signs Are Clear. Sometimes They’re Anything But.
When a store closes there are clear signals. They’ve likely been present for awhile, depending on the financial fortitude of the owners. Here in Dallas/Ft. Worth there’s a retailer that has been struggling for ions, Radio Shack. Their financial fortitude seems surpassed only by their refusal to face reality. Public money has a way to prolonging the agony of quitting.
The inability to pay invoices, meet payroll, make lease payments and other signs are pretty strong indicators that the present course isn’t working. Brick and mortar businesses don’t usually just up and quit because they suddenly decided to. Instead, they’ve likely wrestled with months or years of bad numbers, low performance indicators and various other warning buzzers telling them they’re sinking. Like a captain of a sinking ship, it can be difficult to make the decision to give up all hope.
Your endeavor may be struggling. Maybe it’s always struggled. Or maybe it was once thriving, but no more. Or maybe it just never got off the ground.
If you had a thousand bucks for every hour you’ve spent soul searching, you’d have well over 100 grand. But the soul searching has left you feeling empty and alone. The war in your head grows more intense as you feel the pressure to do something differently. Anything. ‘Cause this ain’t workin’ – at least not any more.
If only there was a clear signal that said, “This is NEVER going to work.” But the dashboard of our life sometimes lacks the gauges we need most. If only we had a CHECK ENGINE light to alert us to something potentially catastrophic.
Instead, we’re left to figure it out on our own. And that’s the real work. Figuring it out. For ourselves.
Quitting Isn’t Losing. It’s An Opportunity To Stop Losing.
For years, as an executive in the consumer electronics business I attended the Consumer Electronic Shows in Las Vegas. I don’t gamble, but I’ve watched others do it. Sometimes poorly.
Losing in Vegas is a widely practiced art form. Some people do it with great vigor. One year in the early 80’s while walking through a casino lobby of the hotel I noticed a table with a dealer, but no players. A sign sat in the middle of the table, “Reserved.” As a non-gambler I was quite fascinated by this so I had to approach the dealer and ask, “What does the reservation mean?” He explained to me how big clients would reserve specific tables and dealers. He was such a dealer, stationed at such a table. I asked, “When will the player arrive?” “I don’t know,” said the dealer. “He’s got this table reserved all night so we’re on standby for him.”
Well, that was too curious for my blood so I found a seat within eyeshot of the table and waited. Thankfully, it wasn’t too long – maybe 20 minutes or so – and in walked a sharply dressed man, alone. He approached the table and out of nowhere appeared another casino employee with a full rack of chips. The man took the rack and began to play a pattern of numbers. The game was roulette.
The “dealer” spun the wheel and in one fell swoop he gathered up all the chips. The house won that round.
The player repeated the process, appearing to play the exact same numbers and colors. Again, the wheel spun. Again, the house won.
A third time. Again, the same outcome and the entire rack of chips was vanquished. Without saying a word the player exited the casino. I followed at a safe distance only to see him jump into a limo parked at the curb and drive off. I went back inside to inquire what I’d just seen. The dealer was discreet, but told me the player likely had tables reserved all over town. “He’s likely looking for a hot table,” said the dealer. “Will he come back?” I asked. “Maybe. Maybe not,” said the dealer.
Another guy was standing near me when I asked the dealer if he could tell me how much the man had gambled. “No, sorry,” said the dealer. The other observer told me, “I can tell you it was in excess of $100K.” I looked inquisitively at the dealer who simply made one nodding notion to affirm that it had been a 6-figure three spin play! No spin took more than 60 seconds. Within less than 5 minutes this high roller had lost over $100,000. Talk about something not working!!
We went to grab dinner and a few hours later there was another dealer standing at the same table. There was the sign, “Reserved.” We walked around, keeping our eye on the table waiting to see of the high roller would return. He did. I moved in closer, maintaining a comfortable, anonymous distance. Same result as the first time. Same numbers and colors appeared to be played. I surmised that based on the pattern of where he placed the chips each time. Exact same movement and location, best I could tell. Three spins and off he went, catching his limo to continue his quest for a hot table. I assumed he hadn’t found it else he’d stay put. Or maybe he had found it and it went cold. No matter. In the span of less than 10 minutes total I had seen a guy drop a quarter of a million bucks.
I started calculating how long it might take to drive from one casino to another. And how much time he spent at a table where he lost. Surely he’s winning somewhere, I thought. I mean, even filthy rich folks could ill afford to lose $25,000 a minute.
My mates and I talked for quite a long time wondering about this guy and trying to figure out why somebody would use this approach. As I said, I’m not a gambler so I had no insight. The entire thing seemed ludicrous to me. We collectively concluded that whatever he was doing this night was NOT working. Which begged the question, “Why is he still doing it?” Was he compulsive? Was he an addict unable to help himself? The man clearly had clout with the casinos else he wouldn’t have been able to reserve tables all over town. All we knew is that if he were to stop playing then he could stop losing. We were equally certain he wasn’t looking at it like that. He was likely behaving like we sometimes do – thinking, “This time it’ll work.”
He couldn’t stop playing because he was likely thinking more about winning than losing. It wasn’t an opportunity to stop losing. Rather, it was an opportunity to never win.
I don’t know how much money he had to lose, but I know he could have used a lot more sense. Most of us don’t have money to lose, or sense. We need all we can get.
Give Up. Move On. Quit. Do Something Else. This Ain’t Workin. Maybe It Never Will.
We’re a hockey kinda family. My son, now 34, has played all his life. Me? I’ve coached, run leagues and done more than my share of volunteer work. Once I even served as the South Central Zone Coordinator for USA Hockey Inline and was on the rules committee. So, yeah, we’re kinda ate up with hockey.
Well, when you watch hockey at the highest level, the NHL, you’ll see world-class skaters fall pretty regularly when they’re on the ice. Sure, they’re getting the snot knocked out of them when they do. Or maybe they’re being tripped (a penalty). But the point is, they’re not always upright. Quite often they fall down. But unless they’re injured, they hop up faster than most of us could get to our feet on dry land wearing sneakers. Getting knocked down isn’t a big deal. Staying down is.
The great thing is about the wild is you’ve got to keep falling and you’ve got to keep getting up. Nobody in life ever likes falling because they think it makes them look like an idiot. But that’s why nobody ever gets anywhere.”
Tom Arnold was Bear’s adventure partner last night. Tom responded, “I get paid to look like an idiot.” But you don’t. So you’re afraid of looking like an idiot. Afraid of failing. Well, get over it. ‘Cause we’re all idiots at some point. Our idiocy can be fleeting or it can be sustained over time. Maybe we should all work harder to manage our moments of idiocy by either accepting them or embracing them. But you know what the real deal is, don’t you? Nobody is noticing your idiocy because they’re too concerned about their own. So go ahead. Fall down. Get back up. And act like nothing happened.
Taking Some Time Off
I’m stepping away from things around here until after the Labor Day weekend. No, it’s not a vacation. It’s work. But don’t fret much because I’m going to be back with a vengeance, Lord willing. And the next time you hear me here (in the podcast), I’ll likely have rebranded some things. So I’m walking the walk in addition to talking the talk. I’m quitting one thing so I can start something else. Something better. Something bigger.
In the meantime, I’m keeping the lights on over at Leaning Toward Wisdom. Things over there are working so I gotta keep it going while I figure things out around here.
I’m not bashful to ask for the sale, or to encourage people to buy from me if I believe I’ve got just the thing to help them. But I am bashful to be presumptuous and I think you should be, too.
For years I sat at desks where I was responsible for the outcome of the business. The buck stops here and all that. I recall far too many salespeople entering my office to pitch me their products. “This is just what you need,” they’d say. Or words to that affect.
I had never met some of these people. They’d never visited the company I was running. They hadn’t talked with anybody inside the company. But in this first meeting, without asking a single question or doing any research, they knew just what we needed. No, they didn’t. They only knew they needed to sell something.
The professional services firm – whether it’s engineering, architecture, healthcare, legal services, accounting or anything else – is steeped in competence. Professional services firms have an expertise. They’re able to do things the rest of us can’t. So when we need their expertise, there is the tendency for them to think, “Your need for me is so obvious” that they forget the necessity to be more subtle in their marketing and sales approaches.
Subtle Ain’t Easy…For You, But It’s Way Easier For Your Prospects
Subtle doesn’t mean it’s not obvious. Subtle means it’s not in-your-face. It means it takes into consideration the prospect’s point of view. It’s the opposite of the traditional throat close. You know the one. It’s the one where the sales guy grabs you by the throat and urges you to buy. Now!
Subtle marketing for the professional services firm isn’t cheap. At least not in effort and time. But it’s crazy effective in cementing great relationships, in reducing the friction of the buying cycle and a host of other things that will make it worth your while.
Sometimes friction helps us in building our practices and our businesses. Permit me to use myself as an example. If you go to my coaching page you’ll see lots of copy. That copy is designed to address the pain points that I know exist with people who would be part of my target market. There are no buy buttons, but there are some buttons to click so prospects can go to an application. Click on that button and the prospect is taken to a page where they find my Bula Network Strategic Assessment. It’s an application designed to help me better understand the prospect’s problems. But it’s also designed to do something else.
It provides enough friction to serve as a bit of a sifter. People and organizations who are not my ideal client won’t complete that assessment. And that’s great. It saves them time. They see it and think, “No, I don’t want to do this.” Perfectly fine. Guess who I don’t really want to work with? That’s right, people who say, “No, I don’t really want to do this.” My best clients are those with a really high degree of willingness. They really want to make their businesses and organizations better!
It seems counter intuitive, but it works for your prospects. It’s a bit like the dating scene. If a guy is looking for the right girl, then he’s discriminating. Not just any girl will do. So how does he sort through all the potential girls? He has some specific qualities he’s looking for, and others he’s trying to avoid. Your practice is no different. You’re looking for certain clients who have specific needs, wants and desires. You’re likely trying to avoid some clients.
Subtle marketing is designed to let your ideal clients hire you with greater ease while simultaneously trying to politely repel the clients you don’t want (those who cost you money, who are more trouble than they’re worth, etc.).
It’s Not About Kicking Traditional Marketing To The Curb
Too many people seem ready to abandon what’s now called “traditional” marketing. Namely, advertising. Advertising still works. If it’s done properly. The problem with most advertising is there’s no call to action. We’re exposed to it and we don’t know what the advertiser wants from us.
Another problem with advertising is getting it in front of the right people. We TIVO or DVR our television programs so we can fast forward past the commercials. We don’t see the billboards any more because we’re texting or talking on the phone while we drive. Dangerous? You bet, but you see it every time you get in the car. It’s not easy to get your advertising in front of people any more because the sea is filled with more noise than ever! A louder bull horn just won’t work.
Professional services firms have long embraced direct mail advertising. I love direct marketing for many reasons, but mostly because we can make specific offers and target who gets our message. We may not be able to guarantee they open it, or read it, but we can at least be certain we put it in their hands…if only on the way to the trash can. The rest is up to us.
One major problem with the way I see professional services firms do direct mail is they all copy each other. Take the financial planning world. If you are over 55 you’re on the list. These folks love the dine and sell strategy. Invite you to a nice steak house, pitch you hard for an hour and put a hard close on you…in exchange for buying you and your spouse a steak dinner. They’ve been doing it for years because it’s a numbers game that works for them. I don’t hate it because of that. I hate it because it’s “me, too.” I hate it because the steak house is likely to be the reason for the choice. Not the financial planner’s expertise, compassion or like-ability.
Subtle marketing isn’t bait and switch. It’s not hiding the obvious. It’s honest, straight-forward and truthful. It’s designed to serve and help the prospect even if they don’t buy. The aim is to help build a relationship with prospects…your ideal prospects! It’s a slow burn that can result in a big bang of business success.
But You Gotta Put In The Work
You have to know who these people are and how they’re feeling. You can’t sucker punch them with a solution. That’s lazy marketing and it’s why so many professional services firms do it. It’s plug and play. Any moron can do it. No imagination required.
Creativity takes work. Lots of work. Subtle marketing puts in tons of heavy lifting up front knowing that the pay off will be enormous in happier clients, better referrals and higher ticket services. Those rewards demand greater efforts.
Let’s just do what they’re doing.”
That’s the common refrain of most professional services firms because it doesn’t require any work. I’m always somewhat surprised at how firms quickly jump to such activities without any consideration to the outcomes. I’m after results. That’s all I’m after. For me, results mean happy clients. Clients willing to refer me to others. Clients willing to tell others about a positive experience with me. I’m looking for long-term relationships with people who won’t hesitate to call me again. And again. I want to be irreplaceable. Not because I’m the smartest or most expert, but because I’m the most helpful, the most effective. The guy who produces results.
What do you want for your professional services firm?
If you’re like most, you want more clients. And you want to serve your clients better, more effectively. And more efficiently. I’ve not met many who didn’t want to stop going crazy in the process. It’s the 3 things that matter in business building.
Don’t be lazy. Get off your butt. Engage your brain. Make it easy for your prospects by putting in the work they deserve to make doing business with you remarkable.
Braxton Bragg was an Army guy. Career Army. He was also a Confederate General responsible for the western campaign of the American Civil War. But he was mostly a sour puss who easily blamed others.
Ulysses S. Grant‘s memoirs tell a story about Bragg as a company commander at a frontier post where he also served as quartermaster. Bragg submitted a requisition for supplies for his company, then as quartermaster he declined to fill it. As company commander, he resubmitted the requisition a second time, giving additional reasons for his requirements, but as the quartermaster he denied the request again. Facing a personal impasse, he referred the matter to the post commander, who exclaimed, “My God, Mr. Bragg, you have quarreled with every officer in the army, and now you are quarreling with yourself!”
It takes a special kind of disagreeableness to disagree with yourself. Bragg was a world-class disagreeable fellow though.
Even Bragg’s staunchest supporters admonished him for his quick temper, general irritability, and tendency to wound innocent men with barbs thrown during his frequent fits of anger. His reluctance to praise or flatter was exceeded, we are told, only by the tenacity with which, once formed, he clung to an adverse impression of a subordinate. For such officers—and they were many in the Army of the Mississippi—Bragg’s removal or their transfer were the only alternatives to an unbearable existence.
— Peter Cozzens, No Better Place to Die: The Battle of Stones River
History shows that Jefferson Davis couldn’t get along with him. It seemed nobody could get along with Bragg. He remained in positions of responsibility due to the shallow depth of talent to replace him. After the Civil War he jumped from one endeavor to another. Each one seemed to end with a common refrain. Bragg would get into a disagreement with others and that would end the endeavor.
He dropped dead in Galveston, Texas at the age of 59. I wonder how many people were pleased at the news.
Surliness isn’t the exclusive domain of Generals or big bosses. Their tyranny can be especially disconcerting because of their power. But what about the disagreeable employee? Can anything be done to help them? Should anything – short of termination – be done?
The reason for being disagreeable is moot. Nobody cares. Whatever burr that may have caused Bragg’s saddle soreness was of no concern to anybody. The truth is, the man was a class A felon when it came to being disagreeable. Why is anybody’s guess. His own men tried to kill him. I doubt they sat around the campfire wondering why their leader behaved so poorly. They simply wanted it to stop. Ditto for the disagreeable employee.
I’m not talking about a person who is having a bad day. I’m talking about the chronic disagreeable employee. The employee who will argue about most anything. All the time. I’m talking about the employee who will behave poorly toward their boss and toward the team.
Some disagreeable employees have been that way for as long as anybody can remember. People up and down the organization know them by their earned reputation. Like Bragg they’ve littered the trail of their career with disagreements. Can you help an employee like that? Maybe.
Other employees turn disagreeable. Maybe they were overlooked for a promotion. Maybe they got a promotion. Something happened and now they’re disagreeable, or more disagreeable than ever before. What about them? Can they be helped? Again, maybe.
Battling the disagreeable employee is easy when the employee is a marginal contributor. Most leaders will take swift action to rid themselves of the cantankerous employee who isn’t performing in the top tier. These are rather easy decisions.
But what about the person who is skilled at their work and mostly performing at a high level? These are the employees who vex good leaders. But I’m going to encourage you to not remain vexed for too long because you’ve got to consider the negative impact of the disagreeable employee. So let’s start with why you must avoid giving way to the disagreeable employee.
1. The disagreeable employee will undermine your leadership.
Your ability to properly lead your team hinges on one central behavior, willingness. This is the non-negotiable standard that must be maintained by any organization that expects to foster high performance.
When you suffer the disagreeable employee, you’re telling your team that willingness isn’t mandatory. You demonstrate your own willingness to accept debate, controversy and confrontation on your decisions.
One bad apple and all that. Order, decorum and performance will fail if the disagreeable employee remains…or if they remain disagreeable.
2. The disagreeable employee will wreck the performance of the team.
Every employee needs to feel special in some way. That’s not possible in the presence of the disagreeable employee because they’re always hogging the spotlight. All eyes and ears are on them as people just wait to see how they’ll respond to your latest decision as a leader.
Rarely will the disagreeable employee confess to being a glory hog, but they are the most selfish people on your team. Their opinion and their judgment matter more than anybody else’s. Including yours.
The grind of dealing with the disagreeable employee will take a heavy toll on the rest of the team as they constantly work under duress of their own bad feelings toward their disagreeable teammate. Increasingly, they’ll feel as though they must meet a higher standard. Fairness will be lost, along with morale.
3. The disagreeable employee will eventually cost the leader.
A leader will pay a heavy price for tolerating the disagreeable employee without attempting and succeeding in finding a remedy. It can come at the hands of consistently poor performance, resulting from a leader’s refusal to hold every employee accountable. It can come at the hands of superiors who tire of conflict not being properly handled. It can come at the resignation of valuable employees who simply can no longer tolerate the atmosphere and culture influenced by the disagreeable employee. Lots of things can go wrong when leaders refuse to deal with disagreeable employees.
So what can you do? What should you do?
Circumstances can differ, but these general guidelines should serve to give you some sort of direction.
a. Accept and assume responsibility.
It may seem counter-intuitive for the leader to take on the responsibility for why the disagreeable employee is behaving poorly, but that’s where it must start. The truth is, the leader is tolerating it. Nothing can be improved until the leader refuses to let poor behavior continue.
The parent who allows their teenager to talk back without any consequence has only themselves to blame. So it is with a boss who allows an employee to be chronically disagreeable.
b. What’s done is done, but today it’s a new day.
Just because a leader failed yesterday doesn’t mean she’s going to today. She can’t afford to keep failing so at some point a new day dawns.
Some bosses feel it won’t work if they just show up tomorrow morning behaving differently. Here’s the key to it. If you’re the leader and you want to improve, then make up your mind that you’re going to start handling things better – including how you deal with the disagreeable employee. Stick with it. You’ll go wrong every time if you dive in, begin to deal with things, then slack off and revert back to your old ways. Avoid that.
It’s not only possible, but it’s advisable that you draw a line in the dirt and take your stand sooner than later. Who cares what you tolerated yesterday? Who cares how you handled things yesterday? Today ain’t yesterday. You can stake your claim at any time anywhere. I’m encouraging you to do it today, right where you’re at.
c. Sit down privately with the disagreeable employee to communicate your “new day” accountability.
Apologize to them for failing to hold them accountable for their poor behavior. Reiterate to them the role you play to help them perform at their very best. Explain to them that their ongoing disagreeableness is destroying not only their performance, but it’s also impacting the performance of others.
Tell them plainly, “This must stop.” Provide a couple (no more) of specific examples. Do not let them interrupt. Stay on course because these people are skilled at disagreeing. They will be true to their habit and nature. You can’t be sucked into an argument. This isn’t an argument. It’s a statement of fact based on their poor behavior and you’re the leader responsible to help them fix it by holding them accountable for it from now on.
When you’re finished clearly tell them, “Starting today I’m going to expect you to demonstrate a high level of cooperation. Once I’ve made a decision, I expect the debate to stop. [insert any specific problem behavior they’re guilty of here].”
End this part of the conversation with, “Do you understand?” Don’t accept some rambling defensive arguing. Only a “yes” will do here.
d. Let them out of the corner.
I’m a father of two grown kids. I believe in spanking kids. No, not beating them. Spanking them. It’s not about inflicting physical pain. It’s about inflicting appropriate guilt so they’ll correct their poor behavior.
One big reason I’m opposed – as a parent and grandparent – to “time out” is because it drags out the process and keeps kids in the corner literally. Through the years I’ve found that employees who feel they can’t get out of the doghouse with their boss, or they feel trapped in a corner of disapproval from which there’s no escape…well, they lose heart very quickly.
A spanking demonstrates we’re not going to tolerate the poor behavior. It’s not harsh, but it’s timely. Quick even. Then it’s over.
Corrective discipline has to end. It can’t go on and on else people will fail to recover and respond with appropriate higher performance.
Encourage the disagreeable employee to correct their poor behavior. Let them know you believe in them and in their ability to do better. Assure them you’re going to serve them better by helping them.
e. Start leading and managing better.
Leaders don’t have to announce, “Things are gonna be different from now on.” I’m not a fan of that approach. Better to just start doing what you should. Begin it now and people will notice. You don’t need to write a memo or give a speech.
Be prompt to correct all the poor behaviors. Let your actions speak louder than your words.
Conclusion
There are no guarantees that this, or any other approach, will work with the disagreeable employee. Sometimes you just have to give them repeated opportunities and deal with their response to your correction.
Avoid putting yourself in the position Bragg’s superiors often found themselves. Because they had no suitable replacement, they frequently tolerated his poor behavior. Find options and alternatives to the disagreeable employee in case they decide they’re going to remain unwilling to follow your leadership.
It’s a new feature, On Being Extraordinary. Today’s installment is fundamental. Then again, most acts of being extraordinary are actually quite simple. This story proves the point.
And so it goes. A man with an opportunity to be a dynamite #2 is sooner or later going to be somebody somewhere else. He won’t likely be a #2. Or #3. All for the lack of seeing how his own career might benefit from hoisting up his boss with superior support and service. He just can’t bring himself to be Tonto, or Ed or Mike Campbell.
I’m not bashful to ask for the sale, or to encourage people to buy from me if I believe I’ve got just the thing to help them. But I am bashful to be presumptuous and I think you should be, too.
