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Influence.

Doing for others what they’re unable to do for themselves.

That’s leadership. It’s not power. Or authority. Or being in charge. It’s not about being the boss. 

We’re so fixated on titles, positions, and power that we often overlook or discount leadership. We think authority is the key to it all. But it’s not. 

I’m not discounting the power of authority (pun intended). It can serve a tremendous benefit when a good or great leader has it. It can also be disastrous if a person without leadership skills has it. I call them tyrants. 

Let’s talk about authority’s role in leadership.

Leadership doesn’t require authority. It certainly isn’t equal to authority, but authority most certainly can enhance leadership because it affords the leader the power to more quickly eliminate or reduce roadblocks for people. 

Are you a boss? Then I encourage you to take a binary view of your authority. I know life isn’t this simple, but a binary view of your authority will serve you to become a more effective leader. 

Tyranny or service? Those are your choices. Admittedly there are degrees of both, but they’re still tyranny or service. 

I only use “servant leadership” because it’s in the cultural vernacular. It’s redundant though because leadership is all about service. Else, it’s tyranny and not leadership. It’s authority, power, coercision, manipulation, intimidation and all sorts of other things. But it’s NOT leadership (influence and doing for others what they’re unable to do for themselves). 

You’ve got a title. You’ve got authority. Great! 

Now decide how you’re going to use it. Do you want to be a tyrant or a leader? You will pick one that most characterizes your daily actions. One will emerge victorious in your career. People will judge you as one or the other. And you get to decide. 

Tyrants lean heavily on the command and control tactics many of us grew up learning (we old guys and gals). Bark out orders. Embrace management theory X. If we don’t make people do the work, it won’t get done. So we control as much as we possibly can. We tighten our grip knowing if we don’t do it ourselves, it won’t get done. 

Leaders lean heavily on the talents, abilities, initiatives and ambitions of individuals and on the collective. Yes, there may be times to bark out orders, but it’s the exception rather than the rule. Sometimes, especially in a crisis, it’s appropriate for command and control to be used in order to serve people – and protect them, their jobs and our enterprise. Leaders embrace management theory Y. People wake up daily wanting to do good work. Hoping to make a contribution so they can make a difference. People want to know they’re relied upon by others. Leaders provide a positive environment – culture – that fosters the growth of the individual and the entire team, group or organization. 

The terrific thing about the leadership who has authority is that she can more quickly do for others what they’re unable to do for themselves. 

Consider an accounting department with a quirk in their data entry. Every time they set up a vendor or a customer they have to go to two separate screens to enter basic information TWICE. It’s cumbersome and frustrating for them. Daily they wonder, “Why won’t somebody fix this?” 

The leader with authority learns of the problem and quickly asks the MIS (management information systems) folks to contact the enterprise software vendor about a remedy. Within a week the vendor comes back with a cost effective solution that can be pushed out during the off hours without business disruption. The leader with authority signs off on it and within 4 business days the fix is in and the second screen that required repetitive input no longer has those same fields. In fact, the vendor is now working on a new release that will streamline data entry even more. 

The accounting staff didn’t have the power to make this problem go away. The leader did. And she used it wisely to help her people perform better. 

Authority and power aren’t negative things. Unless in the hands of a tyrant. 

In the hands of a leader, they’re remarkably effective to elevate performance throughout the enterprise. Now you know why those leadership components (recipe ingredients) are so critical. And why humility is the foundational ingredient. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Welcome to days 5 and 6 of our 30-Day Micro Leadership Course…for Sunday, September 5th and 6th. Labor Day Weekend and out-of-town company, coupled with just too much stuff going on derailed my continuity briefly. Hey, it happens. So we adapt, right? So today let’s compress two days into a single episode. 

We’re going to advance in our progression of leadership components and talk first about understanding. 

We’ve established that we begin with the most important ingredient, humility. That fosters curiosity where we work to seek answers. More accurately, we seek knowledge. And we need knowledge so we can understand. This is the opposite of much of what we see in the world today. For good reason. Understanding is hard. Judgment is easy. To be more specific, harsh judgment is easy. 

What is understanding? 

Let’s keep things simple and straightforward. Understanding is accurate comprehension. Clarity. Whether it’s a situation, a relationship, what was said, what was written…whatever it is, it’s the clear comprehension of what’s happening or what has happened.

Does it have to be perfect? No. But it has to be more perfect than not. Confirmation is required. How? Communication. 

An employee who mostly performs far above average is struggling. She’s obviously somewhat disengaged, but her manager chooses not to jump to a conclusion. After a few days of quiet observation, he calls her into his office for a conversation. 

“Margaret, I wanted to check on you because you’re not yourself lately. I can tell something is wrong and I wondered if I might be able to help you.”

Margaret looks down, her eyes well up and her lips begin to quiver. 

“Margaret, I don’t want to pry in areas that are none of my business, but you’re such a valuable employee…I want to make sure I’m doing whatever I can to support you.”

He hands her a tissue and gives her space to gather herself so she can speak. She proceeds to tell him that 3 days ago her mother, a cancer survivor, received word from her latest checkup. “It’s back,” she said. “And it’s not good.”  She breaks down weeping. 

Do you think her manager understands? Do you think this situation is now clear? Of course. Both people share an understanding of the true circumstance of what’s happening. There is no conjecture. No false assumptions. Just honest, open truth that they can now face together – at least as far as Margaret’s work is concerned. 

Consider what could have happened. No conversation. No questions. Just constant, nagging wondering, “What’s going on with Margaret?” 

Communication is required. Dialogue. Not talking at somebody. Not talking to somebody. Seeking answers with questions. And doing so without critical judgment, but rather with empathy and compassion so we can first understand what’s happening. 

Our understanding will determine what happens next…or what we think should happen. 

The various understandings I’ve had through the years include marital infidelity, drug and alcohol abuse, financial problems, deaths, fatal diagnoses, career unhappiness, gambling problems and legal problems. In most cases, there’s no way I could have known without asking questions. And without knowing, understanding would have been impossible. I often think of the disasters I’ve avoided because I didn’t jump to a conclusion before I gained understanding.

Compassion. 

You could argue that we need this all along the way. I wouldn’t press the matter. Empathy is crucial and maybe my view of empathy is slightly more nuanced than most. I view empathy is the willingness to understand before you render a judgment. For a guy like me who lives by and coaches other to “figure it out,” I want to make sure I’m doing whatever I can to figure it out so I can be accurate in my judgment. I hate getting it wrong and know that compassion is the high point of it all because it gives us the power to really make a positive difference. 

I’m reminded of this every time I see a close friend and we part telling each other, “I love you.” I have a fair number of people in my life who are comfortable telling me that. And I’m comfortable telling them. It’s not a complicated thing really. Two humans who share compassion toward one another because we understand each other. If we didn’t, compassion would be improbable or impossible. 

Compassion is our ability to suffer together. When it comes to leadership, I’d add another component. It’s the ability to suffer together and help the other person move forward. Even if it’s only slight movement. 

Margaret’s manager did what he could to help her move forward. He developed a plan so Margaret could take additional time off to tend to her mother. He went into action for Margaret, working with her to facilitate whatever support he could. Can he deal with it for Margaret? No. There are many things he cannot do for Margaret, but he did the things he could. He suffered with Margaret and helped her move forward at work so her struggle wouldn’t negatively impact her career. Margaret left that meeting knowing she had support and concern from her boss. It was a load off. Additionally, she gave him permission to share the news with her teammates so they too could properly understand. Their support in the coming weeks proved invaluable. 

Margaret’s mother struggled through many months of treatments and sickness. Within a year, she died. Today, Margaret is thankful for the support she got at work. Says Margaret, “I can’t imagine what might have happened if Phil (her boss) hadn’t called me into this office that day. I was almost completely shut down and it was getting worse by the hour. Phil noticed immediately, but he waited 2 days. Two days, but no more. I’ve asked him why he approached me beginning the third day that he noticed I had changed. He said he wanted to make sure it wasn’t just some passing something that might be none of his business, but he also gave allowances that it might be something I needed time to process. I feel sorry for people who work for a boss that isn’t that in touch with them. He’s such a terrific leader. I’m thankful to be on his team.”

Humility.

Curiosity.

Knowledge.

Understanding.

Compassion. 

Make sure you never run out of any of these ingredients. They will serve you well as you build yourself into the leader you most want and need to be.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Day 4. September 4, 2021. 

Let’s continue where we left off yesterday with our next ingredient or component, knowledge.

Some folks think this should go first, but I’ve intentionally placed humility and curiosity in front of it because without those knowledge acquisition is impossible. Just log onto any social media platform and find a post where there’s disagreement. Moments ago I saw a post about some marketing session conducted in 2019. The post included a link to the YouTube video. One of the first commenters lambasted the session with statement after statement for which he provided no evidence. He was critical about who might have been in the audience and wrote an entire paragraph filled with harsh judgment. I clicked the link that took me to the YouTube video where the description gave answers to his criticisms, none of which turned out to be accurate. I spent about 10 seconds scanning that. I never clicked play on the video. Ten seconds. That’s all it took to find out the commenter was completely wrong. He likely spent minutes crafting his criticism. So it goes. 

Knee-jerk reactions. Fast assumptions. Never mind the facts. Don’t bother us with those! 😉 

That’s why humility and curiosity precede knowledge. This commenter already knew everything about the situation. Arrogance. Pride. Hubris. He exhibited no curiosity because his mind was made up – and closed. Let’s not follow his lead.

Yesterday the Washington Post published an article about how misinformation on Facebook gets much greater attention than actual news. A cursory look at social media shows us how misinformation gets easily spread. Hitting the share button or the retweet button are easy. We flash through information, spending seconds – or fractions of seconds, and then we move on. Building on our assumptions, true or not. We think what we think. We believe what we believe. 

My first foray into the world of evidence-based leadership (it didn’t have a name at the time), came because I was always very intuitive, but I got something very wrong early in my career. I felt like I valued truth and evidence, but it turns out I didn’t view it as important as I should. So I made up my mind I was going to do better. I started leaning on evidence to make sure my intuition was even more accurate. My curse was that my intuition was so highly accurate. Until it wasn’t. 

I had to exercise great care to make sure I wasn’t looking for “facts” to back up my intuition. I wanted to follow the facts wherever they took me, then engage my intuition. It was a process, but I worked at it and got better by exercising the skills. 

Think about a time you got it completely wrong. Wrong about a person. Wrong about a situation. How did you feel? 

It’s awful. Knowledge helps us avoid that feeling. Well, at least it can help us avoid it more often. Everybody gets it wrong sometimes. We follow evidence or knowledge only to realize…it’s not correct. Again, having humility and curiosity – and the bravery to question the answers we think are rock solid – help us become better leaders. 

What do we already know to be true? I mean, really know. What things are we most certain about? 

Clarification is part of the process that’s often overlooked in our quest to get on with solving the problem. Have you ever solved a problem only to find out THAT wasn’t the problem? Yeah, me too. That may feel even worse than getting something completely wrong. It’s a different kind of getting it wrong made worse because some work has taken place to solve a problem that wasn’t the real problem after all. 

So you can see there really is no way to separate humility and curiosity from knowledge acquisition. Even when we think we have the knowledge, we often need to question it to make sure. But we’re in a rush. And I don’t know what for. Ten seconds to see the Facebook commenter was ignorant, foolish and lazy. Versus minutes to craft a harsh comment. It just doesn’t seem like a good exchange to me. 

Lastly, we need to think about the source for our knowledge. Who are we going to listen to? Who will we ask? 

Don’t limit yourself. More is better. It’ll validate or nullify the knowledge as true, or false, or something we’re not sure about. Leaders often have selective sources of knowledge. It’s a foolish path. Don’t negate the value of anybody to help you learn something. Many a leader has tripped because they didn’t like the source (the person), so they ignored knowledge that was being shared. Let the knowledge stand on its own. It either holds up, or it doesn’t. Or we’re not sure. 

And seek knowledge as close to the work as possible. The people who do the work daily must be consulted. Their paycheck doesn’t determine their true worth in figuring out what’s wrong, and how to fix it. A minimum-wage worker who is vexed daily by an idiotic system can provide truth and knowledge more quickly than somebody who has never performed that task. Again, humility is at work helping us learn. Don’t discount the most ideal sources of knowledge because they’re not top-level management folks. Those closest to the work know more about what ails our organization at an operational level. 

Learn, learn, learn! Make up your mind that you’re going to increase your knowledge, then get busy seeking answers – and questioning the answers you think you already have. Remember, the truth will always withstand rigorous testing. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Day 3. September 3rd, 2021. Welcome to the 30 Day Micro Leadership Course. 

Yesterday we began talking about the leadership recipes – the components that makeup what I’ve long called the “leadership progression.” Humility is the foundation. Until we make sure we’re on the firm footing of humility, nothing else can be built.

So let’s move on and talk about curiosity. 

My 8-year-old grandson, Easton, somehow got fixated on the subject of cholesterol. And he wouldn’t let it go. Like a snapping turtle, he was not going to let it go until we answered a gazillion questions. One question answered sparked many more questions as we talked about blood, veins, arteries, the heart, and whatever else was on his mind. Using our phones we were showing him diagrams we’d find online. He had never heard of these things and his curiosity was on fire. 

Naive curiosity is powerful…which is why humility is so vital. Easton has no arrogance or harmful pride. Not yet. I hope to do whatever I can as his granddad to help him maintain his naive curiosity so he can accelerate his knowledge, understanding, and growth as long as possible. I hope he stays humble and curious throughout his life. I’m optimistic!

The Smartest-person-in-the-room syndrome is just the opposite of curiosity. Arrogance and pride prevent learning. And growth. But you can go that route if you insist. 

Together we go further faster. It’s simple math. Multiple sources of knowledge, insight and experience benefit everybody in the room. But it demands both humility and curiosity. 

Question Like A 2-Year-Old

Over time life tends to influence us to stop asking questions for fear we’ll look stupid. We’d prefer to not look stupid even though we are. But the alternative is more powerful – to look stupid briefly as we increase our smartness! Technically speaking, it’s not stupidity at all. Easton isn’t stupid. He just does not yet know about some things. Like cholesterol. So by asking, he learns more quickly. And he learns from everybody involved in the conversation, which at this point happened to be my wife and me. It works the same way for us.

Maybe there are stupid questions, but who cares? Ask them anyway. You never know what you’ll discover. 

Years ago I entered an industry that was foreign to me. My naivete was an enormous benefit. I was too ignorant to be proud so I quickly asked questions about things that most folks in that industry just took for granted. Repeatedly, I’d ask about something only to be told, “I don’t know. We’ve just always done it that way.” 

By looking at an industry with totally naive eyes I was able to foster thinking that others wouldn’t have dared embrace on their own. I questioned everything. Not to challenge it all, but to understand. I just followed my curiosity wherever it took me and I kept following it until my curiosity was satisfied. 

What do you have to lose? Besides your ignorance? Or false assumptions?

If you think your pride is on the line, then go back one show to think more deeply about your humility.  Only you can answer whether your pride is worth ignorance. It’s not a good trade. You don’t have to trust me. Just examine your life – and whatever observations you’ve made about others who thought they knew more than they actually did. 

Innovation is fun. Creativity, too. And they’re not possible without curiosity. No leader ever solved important problems without it. And this is all about being better leaders capable of influencing others to grow. 

Lastly, you’ll find something remarkable happens when you exhibit blatant curiosity. It will spread. And attract other curious folks. Others will bring their questions to the party and they may ask questions you haven’t thought out. Everybody benefits from the questions and the answers. The knowledge and understanding of the collective in the room grows exponentially. Few things feel as rewarding.

Be well. Do good. Grow great.

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Let’s single out the component of the progression of leadership.

First, let’s discuss how it’s not just a progression, but it’s more of an ongoing recipe. If we think of these components as check-the-box things, we’ll miss the point. Like a recipe, sometimes we may need to lean more on one of them more heavily. People and situations will dictate our best use of each component. 

The first ingredient is the most important. Think of it as the flour in any bread recipe. The other ingredients matter, but none matters more than the main ingredient. And for effective leaders, humility is the key ingredient. 

Think of every leadership failure you’ve ever experienced. Think of every leadership failure you’ve witnessed. Odds are high that it was always a lack of humility. 

Any time I let my pride get the best of me, things didn’t go well. I’ve always lost ground as a leader whenever I got too focused on myself and thought more highly of myself than I should. Every single time it resulted in a failure I regretted. 

Humility is foundational for personal and professional growth because that’s what fuels our need and desire to improve. When we’re able and willing to face ourselves then we can better recognize what we can do better. And what we want to fix or improve. 

Covering up. Hiding. Pretending. Putting up a front. 

We all do it sometimes. Some of us do it a lot. And I’m not critiquing that because not every person or situation is safe enough for us to be truly honest. At least not openly. 

But we’ve got to find a place where we can ditch all those acts and look more closely into the mirror. 

The Magic Corner

Humility is required if we’re going to find our way into the corner where the magic happens. The corner? It’s that place we get to when we’re tired of making excuses. Once all the excuses are sucked out of our life, we can at long last work our way into the corner. It’s that metaphorical place where are backs are up against the wall and there’s nobody else to blame. No situation to blame. It’s just us, in the corner coming to terms with ourselves. There is nobody else, but it’s not a selfish view. It’s a deep view of finally accepting responsibility for our own life. 

As we begin to hold up a mirror and stare intently into it, we see ourselves more clearly…IF humility is achieved. 

Blame isn’t the point. We waste little time, if any, assessing blame because it doesn’t much matter. What matters most is…

Now what?

Humility serves us to ask and answer the question. In doing that, we accept responsibility for our own present and future. The past is over. Yes, it may have helped define us, but that was then…this is now. Again, now what? What will we do now?

The thing about that magic corner is that it’s ridiculously valuable, but only for periods of time. It’s no place to build a residence. The point of the magic corner is to get there as quickly as possible and get out of it as soon as you can. However, you have to stay there long enough to figure things out. And there is no clock on that. 

Embrace humility so you avoid comparing yourself to others. What they do or what they’ve achieved has no impact on your life. If you think it does, just ask yourself, “How?” 

We each figure it out when we figure it out. This is no time to berate yourself for not figuring it out sooner. It’s a common feeling though and you must let it go. Quickly. 

Clients regularly tell me, “Why didn’t I see this sooner?” I always say the same thing. 

We see it when we see it. Who care why it took so long? Now you see it. So now what?

Have the humility to focus on yourself because until or unless you can do that, you’ll be useless to others. How can you best influence others and do for them what they’re unable to do for themselves without first committing to self-improvement? Be humble enough to put in the work on yourself so you then best serve others. 

Look at the components I’ve listed – these leadership components that are really internal things with outward results. Without humility, none of the rest are even possible. That’s why you must find your way to humility. And it’s why you can’t skip that.

Forget fronting. 

Forget trying to stick your chest out.

Face the things you fear most with humility – the notion that you don’t yet know, but that you’ll figure it out. People tell us to be courageous, but mostly we think that means a degree of outward confidence, even arrogance. You need to embrace your humility in ways that work for you – ways that will move you forward toward a willingness to accept responsibility, full responsibility, for your own life. 

And that’s the pointed definition of humility – accepting full responsibility for the outcomes of your life. It’s the realization that you’re not the most important person on the planet, but you are the only person responsible for your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Accept that responsibility and it’ll propel your forward. Ignore it and you’ll remain stuck.

Be well. Do good. Grow great.