Personal Development

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

Entrepreneurship, Leadership, Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

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That’s right. Returning to my roots and a simpler way to go. After all, the short way here to the website is GrowGreat.com. It’s a terrific URL because it’s short, simple and easy to remember.

During the Holiday season, I engaged in a few conversations with friends about how I was craving a simpler life. In every way possible. Repeatedly I’d say, “I’m not interested in how many plates I can keep spinning. I’m looking to spin fewer plates that matter more.” I wound up writing on my whiteboard the title of today’s show, but it wasn’t a show title. It was a personal admonition – verbs. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify.

I don’t know why I wrote it down 3 times in a row, except I assumed it was to reiterate it so I’d get it through my head that “THIS is my current ideal outcome.” And it is.

During the 4th quarter of last year – October through December – I had so many meetings where some semblance of that was the theme. Not because I directed the conversations in that direction, but the other person was so craving it in their professional and personal life. Younger folks. Older folks. Women. Men. Married. Single. It didn’t seem to matter. It was as though we were all seeking the same thing – a more basic, simple way of living.

In early October it began with a conversation about leading direct reports. I asked, “How often do you get everybody together?” I didn’t mean because of Covid. And I didn’t mean in person, face-to-face. I meant it quite literally, “How often do you all spend time together?” This leader had about 6 direct reports. He said he tried to have a “staff meeting” (translation: getting his team together) once a month.

I asked, “Is that frequently enough to suit you?”

He had a harder time answering that than I anticipated. It was as though he was trying to figure out how his answer might affect how I felt about it all. 😉 I remedied it by saying, “Makes no difference to me, I’m asking if it suits YOU? Maybe more importantly, does it suit THEM?”

“It probably should be more frequent, huh?” he answered. Well, he was really asking me for an opinion.

As the conversation unfolded he realized how wrong it felt to him to not get together with these people more frequently. The more we focused on how once a month likely impacted his team of direct reports he muttered, “It’s so crazy and chaotic.” And there was the rub. Going crazy in the process of leading people. Going crazy in the process of managing the work. Craving simpler. Craving a more straightforward way of life.

“What’s stopping you?” I asked. “Where are the constraints?”

He rattled off a few things that consumed his time. Things he didn’t’ value much. Some of them beyond his control. Most of them well within his control.

Eventually, he stopped and said, “I guess it’s on me.”

We were off to the races working to figure this out for him. But both of us knew the answer was largely going to come down to one thing. Making up your mind.

We mostly do what we make up our mind to do. Period. End of story.

We mostly neglect getting done those things we’ve yet to make up our mind about. Period. End of story.

Here I am, over 3 months later, sharing with you the profound, but simple truth that YOU can simplify your life. You can decide right now to change some things that may be driving you crazy.

Like my title of this podcast – a podcast that I’ve been doing for years and years. But I’m no different than you. I can be prone to overthink it. Over do it. Slather on layer after layer of things and stuff. Most of which don’t matter. Until the weight of it all compels me to crave more and more basic, simple and straightforward. Like Mr. October.

So during the Holidays I started jettisoning stuff. Including offers and things I was doing that I no longer wanted to do. Pursuits that may have been perfectly fine, but pursuits that didn’t matter as much to me.

I asked Mr. October, “Describe how this complexity and chaos took over.” Turns out neither of us was very surprised. Like adding a coat of paint, he slathered on a color. It’d dry and he’d quickly open another can of metaphorical paint, different color. Slather it on. It’s dry and on he’d go. Turns out he was busy painting, but painting wasn’t what he wanted to be doing. Nor was it the thing he was best at. He didn’t start out to be this proverbial painter, but he wound up doing nothing but painting!

I could relate.

Simplify, simplify, simplify means doing the most important work – our best work – and letting go of the rest, to whatever degree we’re able. It means looking in the mirror to truthfully acknowledge what we’re doing – to see if we’re doing what we most want to be doing. And if we’re doing what we’re best at.

Like that famous Einstein quote, “Fish don’t climb trees.” Sometimes we have to stop and ask ourselves, “Am I fish trying to climb trees?” Sometimes, like Mr. October, that’s exactly what we’re doing. Or trying to do. And that chaos and commotion result in driving us crazy.

What would you like to quit? Right now. Today?

What would you like to give somebody to do? Something somebody could likely do much better than you? And something you hate doing?

What value are you leaving behind? For Mr. October, he decided that once a week he wanted to get his group of direct reports together to leverage their skills in helping each other. By the way, in the first announced “weekly” meeting he set the tone and reported the energy was “higher than I’ve seen in years.” Turns out the team was craving the same simplicity he was craving.

As a leader, you’re a finite resource. I know you think you have infinite reserves, but you’re wrong. Keep it up and in time you’ll visit a doctor who may be able to convince you that this stress – the chaos and commotion of doing crazy – will kill you. But first, it’ll kill your organization, your business, your team and your effectiveness.

Avoid all that. Let this year be the year you make up your mind to find your way to the basics of what really matters. Find those things that can really move the needle in a positive direction. It’s not about adding another coat of paint. It’s about getting the fit and finish fine enough to serve the purpose well.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Randy

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If It Is To Be…It’s Up To Me (doing the hard work of improving yourself)

Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

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Business owners hit some point early in the process of building their business where they lament being unable to replicate themselves. This is even more so when the business owner has some innate skill that helped propel the business forward.

Executives hit the same point, many because they struggle to control their control freakishness. “Give me that, I’ll do it myself.” I never said they had learned leadership, but most of us have had to learn the art of coaching, mentoring, and delegating because we realize we can’t do it ALL.

Sometimes we enjoy using the phrase to illustrate why we’re so important and how nobody else can do it as well as we can (which isn’t the point really). I mean, when our kids are growing up learning to talk and walk, we’re certainly able to talk and walk better than they can (I hope), but it’s not about us. It’s about them learning to do those things for themselves. It’s about their growth. So it goes with our role as leaders – to help influence others to develop more fully.

But today, we’re talking about personal growth. Personal improvement. Personal change for the better. Today, it’s all about YOU, not others. It’s about your commitment to yourself.

Poll people – I have – and you’ll likely not find a single person willing to admit they’re not devoted to self-improvement. We all say, “Yes, I’m committed.”

Now ask the bigger question, “What do you do that would illustrate your devotion?”

Some of the answers I get have included:

“I read books.” (or “I listen to books” or “I read online articles”)
“I watch videos” (or “I listen to podcasts” or “I take online courses”)
“I’m taking a class” (sometimes college courses, sometimes some online professional development course)
“I’m earning my MBA” (or some other professional advanced degree)

Most often I get stammering. Or a puzzled look. As quickly as everybody confirms their devotion to their own growth, they just as quickly hit a brick wall in their brain to articulate what they’re doing to grow or improve.

Now, the third question is the acid test. “Other than the time or homework involved, describe the challenge you’re presented to grow.”

That one almost always gets a stall for time, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how are you challenged by the activity to make changes.”

More stammering and yammering. Most often followed by something generic, but professional-sounding like, “It pressure tests my thinking.” Deeper dives don’t often reveal very much.

In my completely unscientific survey, I’d estimate that 70% of the people eventually admit that the activity isn’t serving them very well at all. Sometimes they admit they entered the activity with high hopes it might provide some benefit, but mostly, it doesn’t.

Doing The Work Versus Checking The Box

My clients usually lament when our time together is coming to an end. Try as I might to prepare them for life beyond our coaching session, many of them know the experience is so unique it may never be replicated. My objective is to provide a framework – a process of thinking – where they’ll be able to fly solo or be more intentional in the organic relationships they have by finding people with whom they can be safe. And people who are safe around them.

Coaching clients who maximize our time together – and that’s almost 100% of them – never approach this work with a “check the box” mentality. But we always begin with me telling them our journey won’t go from step 1, to step 2 all the way to step 30, after which I’ll print off some framable certificate of completion. I jokingly tell everybody, “There won’t be any certificates after our time together.” I meet people right where they are and work hard to quickly help them figure out their ideal outcome. The rest of our time together is spent helping them figure out how to do the work to make that ideal outcome a reality. The clients always do the heavy lifting. Or not.

I walk into the office. It’s an enormous office of a CEO of a manufacturing company. There are two large bookcases filled with books. After we greet each other, I’m like a moth to a flame heading toward the bookcases. I comment about one title, inquiring what the CEO feels about that book. “I haven’t read that one yet,” he says. I scan the shelf and grab another title, holding it up, I say, “This one is really good.” He says, “Yeah, I need to read that one, too.” I quit while I’m only behind 2-0. My conclusion? This CEO wants the books on the shelf but is much less interested in reading them. So it goes with some people and their dedication to their own self-improvement.

Maybe It’ll Just Happen

No, it won’t. Your life won’t just get better. There are forces required and those forces are mostly influenced by your efforts. What evidence do you have that you’re actually doing the work? Your feelings don’t count. Sorry.

High-performance cultures and anything else labeled “high performance” aren’t restricted to collective professional pursuits. In fact, it starts with individuals. You could say, it begins at home with each one of us accepting responsibility for ourselves. If we’re going to have the biggest impact to serve others, we must take on the job of improving ourselves, which starts with increasing and improving our accountability to ourselves.

High impact influence doesn’t just happen. It results from dedicated daily work. But the work must be work that pays off – work that moves the needle in the right direction. Otherwise, it’s just motion. Or effort without any indicators if it’s effective or not.

How will you know you’re growing if you don’t measure? If you’re not keeping some kind of score?

I have an annual physical. The first thing is measuring height (to see how much I’m shrinking as I get older) ;), then weight (to see how much weight I need to lose) ;), then blood pressure (always good), and heart rate (also, always good). Then comes the deeper dive – donating vials of blood so the full blood panel workup can be performed. Within 24 hours I’ve got more numbers than I’m able to count. Thankfully, my doctor gives me a summary, and the numbers of my results are always put alongside the acceptable range so I know if some number is out of whack.

Until these things are measured – and then compared to what is healthy and what the past results were – there’s no way to know if physically things are about the same, better or worse. And more seriously, there’s no way to know if I might be having problems I’m unaware of or problems that might be on the horizon.

Fearful there may be something wrong, too many people shy away from such medical procedures. “What I don’t know won’t hurt me” too often gives way to “What I didn’t know may now kill me.” Don’t be foolish with your physical health. Or your mental health. Or your spiritual health. Or with your life in general. Be courageous enough to figure out the score so you can know – with some degree of certainty – that you’re improving. Or at the worst, that you’re not sliding backward.

Some of you may be spreadsheet freaks. When I was responsible for the daily operations of businesses (other than my current coaching practice), I’d live in Excel. Looking at the daily, weekly, monthly, and annual numbers was just a way of life so I could spot patterns and trends. My goal was to quickly spot opportunities and challenges. The faster I could see a trend that I could take advantage of, the greater the success of the organization. The faster I could spot trouble, the more quickly I could steer away from potential losses.

I don’t spend my days doing that these days, but I still measure things. Things that are meaningful in my current work. Mostly, for me, it’s in the form of notes. Lots of notes. Notes on dates and times of meetings with clients. How much time we spent together. The challenges they’re facing. What actions they’re taking to tackle those challenges. The opportunities they now see and what they’re doing to take full advantage of them. Notes about what may be happening with them personally. A lot of information to help me be a better guide for them as together we try to figure these things out. The overreaching goal is their ideal outcome. Together, we must determine if we’re moving closer to that outcome or further away from it. Some days it feels like we may not know so we visit about how we might be able to better measure it. When you’re working on improving yourself not everything is so easily quantifiable. But still, we try.

If you thought executive coaching was simply a bunch of conversations, then you should know the truth. It’s hard work. I’d argue some of the most profitable work you can do because it’s YOUR life, professionally and personally. There are sessions where clients (and me, too) are drained due to the strain of what’s happening in their life. There are sessions where there’s an abundance of pondering as together we ask questions for which we have no answers. But we want to go find the answers. There are sessions where there’s an epiphany – big answers that come flying to the forefront. None of that happens without a client who is willing to be vulnerable, connected, highly engaged and accepting the challenge to work hard. Those aren’t difficult when clients understand THEY benefit most from the work. It’s all about them. Their life. Their career. Their leadership. Their growth. If we’re unwilling to put in the work for ourselves, then I’d argue we’re unfit for leadership because we’re certainly not going to serve others if we’re unwilling to serve ourselves.

In the Bible, there’s a passage directed to husbands to love their wives as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for her. Ephesians 5:28-30 “Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; because we are members of his body.”

The principle is true and accurate. A man who beats his wife is despicable. On every level. Husbands should love their wives as they love their own body. Righteous or good men don’t hate themselves or their wives. Good leaders don’t neglect their own growth thinking they can help their people grow while they neglect themselves. It never works that way.

Show me a leader unwilling to work on themselves and I’ll show you a boss, not a leader. And their effectiveness as a boss won’t likely be very high-performing either.

High impact influence isn’t about perfection, but growth. It’s about showing up at the doctor’s office on your annual physical in better shape than you were before. It’s about making the numbers trend in all the right directions. And when they’re not, it’s about accepting responsibility to do everything your power to improve them. Otherwise, improvement and growth will never happen. You’ll remain stuck and not for too long because the world will notice your lack of positive influence. The void you leave in serving others will be filled by somebody better than you. Somebody willing to accept the responsibilities you’re not yet willing to accept. Somebody unwilling to blame others. Somebody who refuses to be a victim.

Today, I’m challenging you to be that somebody. Why not? What’s stopping you? Nothing. It’s just up to you to make your mind.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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How To Get The Most Out Of Executive Coaching (And How To Sabotage Your Own Coaching Experience)

Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

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Since 2007 I’ve successfully coached a variety of clients from business owners, CEOs, COOs, CFOs, CTOs, Directors, City Managers, Deputy or Assistant City Managers, HR Directors, attorneys, and entrepreneurs. So far I’ve only had one – that’s right, one single exception – where the client experience (and my own) wasn’t as fruitful as it should have been. One isn’t likely a statistically valid number from which to draw a conclusion, but I’ve visited with other coaches and collected a variety of stories of failed experiences. They all sound similar to my exceptional singular experience where things just didn’t go very well. Nobody bats a thousand. I’m pretty pleased that I’ve only had one client who didn’t make the progress he should have.

Let’s start with what can go wrong. This is how you can make sure you don’t leverage executive coaching to your full advantage.

How To Sabotage Your Own Coaching Experience

I’ll list the steps you can take to ensure your executive coaching experience is a complete waste of time.

Step 1: Don’t open up with the coach.

Make sure you don’t share anything. Ever. Answer questions with a yes, no, or maybe. Better yet, regularly say, “What do you mean?” Do not share anything. Make sure the coach has to carry the conversation. Your goal is to say as little as possible.

Step 2: Don’t be honest.

Whatever you do, when you do speak, don’t be truthful or honest. It’s important – to make your coaching experience a complete waste of your time (and your coach’s) – that you’re never vulnerable. Your goal is to reveal nothing about yourself.

Step 3: Don’t put any effort into it.

Every time the coach tries to get on your schedule be busy. Behave as though your time is so valuable you can’t possibly squeeze in a session this week. Just make sure you don’t ever offer a reason. Go back and see steps 1 and 2.

If the coach asks you to do something, don’t. Ever. Just memorize this excuse, “I haven’t had the time.” It’s easy once you start making the excuse. Have some fun and get creative in your excuses, but only after you’ve mastered this one.

Step 4: Don’t commit to anything. Ever.

Your coach will try to find out what you want to do. Be very careful because if you reveal this, you may be held accountable. So avoid all accountability by refusing to commit to anything.

When asked about your goals or what you’d like to improve, be brave. Just repeat this statement, “Nothing really. I’m pretty happy with how things are going.” Your coach will likely be frustrated and may probe a bit more to find out if there’s nothing you’d like to work on. Stay the course by saying, “Nothing I can think of.” Just keep saying those things and whatever you do, do NOT admit that there is anything you’d like to improve. Your words and attitude must reflect that you have everything as perfect as possible.

Step 5: Just keep doing what you always did.

Change is hard. You don’t want to do any of that. You just want to let enough time pass so you can check the box that you had a coach for a period of time.

If your boss hired a coach for you, it’s really important that you work all this magic at a slow enough pace to let the coach have about 6 months. Otherwise, your boss may think you didn’t give the effort. And of course, you’re not giving it any effort, but you don’t want your boss to know that. So the main thing you must do is ACT. Fake it until you make it to the sixth-month mark, then you could be proactive and thank your boss for getting you a coach. Tell your boss how productive it’s been and what a wonderful experience it’s been. If your head isn’t already on the chopping block, then maybe you can get rid of the coach sooner than later. Honestly, you’ve got very little to lose because telling your boss those things isn’t going to save you if your head is on the block. But it may help you get rid of the coach. So you really have nothing to lose.

Step 6: Cross your fingers and hope for the best.

This step is self-explanatory. Come on, who needs help? You’ve got this. Keep thinking your delusional thoughts that high achievers don’t need anybody. And you are a high achiever. Feel good about yourself. Don’t worry about getting better. That’s a job for others, not you!

How To Get The Most From Your Coaching Experience

Let’s flip the script and talk about the steps you can take to maximize the experience (and the value) of your coaching experience.

Step 1: Be vulnerable. Trust the coach.

I tell every client, upfront, that I’m only here to help serve them. I have no other dog in the hunt except their growth and improvement. It’s not my job to establish the goals for their life or career. It’s their life and I’m not here to tell them what to do. I’m here to help them figure it out. Every session is private and confidential. And when the boss has hired me for them, the information flow goes only one direction – toward them. The sponsor who hires me for a direct report (meaning the boss who hires me for one of their leaders) is told upfront that the information I learn from the boss will be used for the client’s benefit. This isn’t a tattletale session though. I use the information to help guide the work. I also tell the sponsor (the boss) not to ask me to report anything the client says because I won’t. My work with the client is strictly confidential. The only exceptions – which have never happened so far – are if I learn things illegal, immoral, or unethical are going on, then I reserve the right to talk directly with the client about those things and I may be compelled to report those to the boss. Again, it’s never happened. Hopefully, it never will.

The point is confidentiality is critical to the process. Additionally, I show my own vulnerability in my first session with every client. It’s not a ploy. It’s completely genuine and honest. And I don’t script it. I say whatever I’m feeling at the time. It’s not about me, but it’s important that clients know I’m entering the relationship completely trusting them. I’m happy to earn their trust, but I’m going to give it to them free from the get-go.

Step 2: Be open. Share.

Volunteer information. This is your opportunity to share anything and everything because professional coaches are safe. They have only your best interest at heart. Keep in mind, your success and growth are a reflection of their success and growth. They want you to be more successful. They also want this to be among the most rewarding experiences of your life because people who are attracted to – and good at – coaching professional people enjoy seeing others reach new levels of success. Your coach is genuinely interested in helping you. Let them. Don’t squander this opportunity.

Step 3: It’s your life. Figure out how you want to improve it.

Great coaches aren’t people who tell you what you ought to do. They’re not there to tell you how to live your life, but they are there to help you figure out to improve your life. Put in the work to figure out what you’d like to improve. Don’t be afraid to pursue whatever it is you’d like to pursue.

Clients have told me they’d like to improve their faith, their relationship with their adult kids, their marriage, their ability to retain key employees, their ability to develop emerging leaders, their ability to spend less time in the details (and be more strategic), their ability to ready for retirement, their marketability to get a better job, and a host of other things. These goals are personal to each client. I’ve got nothing to do with what they want because it’s their life. My role is to help them figure out a path forward so they can achieve their goals. Imagine the loss these clients would have experienced if they didn’t assume responsibility for their own life…and if they didn’t put in the work to figure these things out.

Step 4: Accept the challenge and do the work.

Yes, you’re busy. But this investment is in YOU. Nothing is more important than putting in the work to grow yourself. Make your coaching sessions a priority. In fact, don’t wait on the coach, take control. Your coach will respect your proactive approach to making sure you’re on the schedule weeks in advance.

Dive into the work. Be ambitious about it because it’s your life! Don’t procrastinate.

Hint: the more you dive into the work the more you’ll want to dive into the work.

Go back to step 1 if you find yourself being reluctant. Do you not trust the coach? Tell them. You can’t avoid difficult conversations and move forward. Be selfish enough to make sure you’re getting all the value possible. Your coach will respect it. And your coach will do everything possible to remedy any obstacles or hurdles for you.

Step 5: Own it all.

I work hard to help clients paint themselves into a corner where there are no more excuses. I encourage people to accept responsibility (not the same as blame) for everything in their life. Why not? It’s the path forward because it empowers people to take whatever control exists in their life. When bad things happen (and they will), then we accept responsibility for what we’ll do now.

Don’t resist accepting responsibility. It’s liberating to take control.

Step 6: Be grateful.

List the things you have without being fixated on what you don’t have. You likely have tons of things for which to be thankful. Consider those things. Be thankful you had an opportunity – or you created an opportunity – to work with an executive coach. Most professionals will live their entire lives never having had this experience. Many will assume the people who are organically in their life can do for them what an executive coach can do. They’re wrong because those organic relationships have strings attached. We’re beholden to almost everybody in our life. A professional executive coach enters our life without strings. The only objective is to help us move forward. Be thankful you’re among the most elite leaders on the planet who experience such help. The highest achievers on the planet know what you’ve now learned – we all need somebody capable of helping us figure it out.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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CEO, Owner, Founder: Those Are Your Roles, But They’re Not Entirely Who You Are

Entrepreneurship, Leadership, Peer Advantage, Personal Development / By Randy Cantrell

CEO, Owner, Founder: Those Are Your Roles, But They're Not Entirely Who You Are - THE PEER ADVANTAGE

Bernard (Bernie) started his company in 1989. He’ll readily tell you that it wasn’t easy. Many years were spent feeling “more married” to the business than his wife, Ruth. Ruth confirms it. But they managed to endure the hardships, long hours and mad scrambles to make payroll. By 1993 the business was generating a few million dollars in gross revenue. Bernie and Ruth weren’t yet earning the kind of the money they had hoped, but they persisted. By 1996, seven years in, they felt they were escaping the gravitational pull of failure that snatches so many business start-up’s.

Bernie was always proud to tell people he was the President of his own company. Entrepreneurship wasn’t something he applied to himself. Instead, he was just a business owner and that moniker was glorious enough to suit him.

Over time the company has experienced up’s and downs – often influenced by the economy. Not unlike many small businesses. Bernie figures he’s experienced just about everything in the 25 plus years he’s been running his own company. Thankful that he’s been successful, and able to achieve a high income, he and Ruth have raised three children. Their youngest is due to graduate from college this year.

Bernie sits with the calm confidence of a seasoned warrior. I know that look. It’s a look I see sometimes when I look in the mirror, or when somebody takes my picture unexpectedly while sitting in a meeting. We’re not rookies. The street fighting skills of building a business have weathered us, but not worn us completely out. Yet.

He laments a truth we both know and understand. There’s more to him than his business. Very few people – other than his family – know him outside the context of his business. He remembers a time before he started his company. “I was a nobody,” he says. But he doesn’t quite mean that. Not literally. He goes on to talk of his circle of business acquaintances – he calls them “friends” out of habit. But they’re not friends in the traditional sense, or in the ideal sense. That is, they’re not people with whom he can shell it down. As he puts it, “I can really be myself.”

It sparks conversation about how as business leaders – business owners – we’re not entirely the roles or titles we wear. He wears the title, President. You may wear the title, CEO. Or, Founder. Or, Owner. It really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you understand it’s just one aspect – admittedly, a very large aspect perhaps – of who you really are.

Bernie isn’t a President to Ruth. Or to his children. But he confesses that to most everybody else, that’s exactly who he is. There’s a sadness in his eyes as he speaks. “Some days I feel like I’m just another asset or resource of the company,” he says. “It can be easy to stop feeling human almost.”

Human. Being human.

Feelings. Emotions. Fears. Concerns. Sadness. Joy. Dread. Anticipation.

These are human. We don’t speak in those terms when we’re “doing business.” We should. Because business is human. Businesses are operated, led and managed by humans. Businesses provide products and services to other humans. It’s all human, but we avoid the humanity of it all. Too often.

Are you a CEO, President, Founder, Owner who sometimes (maybe often) feels that way? Do you find yourself feeling isolated, unable to find people with whom you can be human?

I’m in a phase of my own career – after spending over 30 plus years leading businesses – where I’m vigorously pursuing helping business owners and leaders find greater significance and higher levels of achievement. No, it’s not always easy because growth, improvement, and transformation demand asking hard questions. They need collaborators who care enough about us to serve us. People with whom we can be vulnerable without fear that what we say, or do will be used against us. Surrounded by people who won’t judge us, but instead will offer us their insights and experiences to help us decide for ourselves. Not people who will tell us what we should do, or people who want to live our lives for us. Instead, people who understand us and want us to reach new heights — and want us to help them do the same. A reciprocal relationship unlike any we may have ever had before.

That’s my work. It’s where I began investing, to prepare for 2018 and the establishment of THE PEER ADVANTAGE.

The “pitch” is simple, but powerful.

Seven business owners from around the United States. Any industry. Any location. Any revenue level. People who are driven to grow as people (and yes, owners driven to grow their businesses, too). It’s about people joining forces a few times each month to push themselves individually and collectively. People willing and capable of being vulnerable with one another knowing that’s where the real value is found – in being human with each other!

There’s no selling to this. As much sales DNA as I have, I’m the anti-sales guy in this effort because experience has taught me that people see the value in challenging their own growth, or they don’t. Those who don’t aren’t fit for the task. Honestly, nor are they the kind of business with whom I want to associate or serve.

Learn more by going here. Complete the “application” without obligation because it’s merely an application to spark a conversation where we can find out more about each other. Together we can decide if this is something that’s right for either of us. It has to be right for both of us! Because we’re all in this together! I look forward to meeting you and finding out more about you and your company.

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Battling Misery & Dread: Find Your Friends #5002

Entrepreneurship, Not Going Crazy In The Process, Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 24:33 — 22.7MB)

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My Biggest Challenge Is Battling Misery

Business owners are almost always candid when I ask, “What’s THE big challenge facing you today?” Even though they’ve never talked with me before, it’s rare for a business owner to avoid engaging with me in an honest conversation about their life. For starters, within seconds they can spot two of my super powers: empathy and curiosity. It takes a bit longer for my other super powers to show up: intuition and communication. That last one is the most tenuous because these conversations are always on the phone and I have no history with this person. I’m weak at many things so I have to leverage these few super powers to the max. 😉

He’s a small business owner more than 1000 miles from me. We’ve only exchanged a couple of messages via Linkedin. He’s in an industry that intrigues me. That’s why I connect with him. My curiosity is elevated by the time we jump on the phone. Within 3 minutes I’ve asked him, “What’s THE biggest challenge you’ve got right now?” He doesn’t hesitate. He says, “Battling my misery.” I’ve heard this before, but not quite so boldly and candidly. I’m sad for him, but impressed with his honesty.

“Tell me about it,” I say. He spends the next few minutes telling me the various sources of his misery. None of them are extraordinary. They’re all too common among small business owners. Unfortunately, he’s stuck in his misery. It’s been lingering with him for too long. You can sense he’s tired of it.

He’s successful fought his way through cash flow, getting new customers, operational issues, personnel issues and all the other things that plague us. There are elements of those creating some of his misery, but mostly it’s more personal stuff. Marriage stuff. Head stuff. Heart stuff.

It’s no lie when I tell him, “I understand.” But I quickly follow that up with the big question, “What are you going to do about it?”

He gets quiet. I embrace the pause. I know it’s hard for him, but I also know it’s my opportunity to prove to him how much I care – and that I’m not calling to make a pitch on our first date. I’ve got a bigger picture in mind before I ever connected with him. I’m not about to change course now. Patience is another power I’ve got. It’s not quite up to super power status, but I’m still working on it.

After a few seconds of silence he says, “I don’t know. Battle through it I guess.”

I want to help him shift into a different gear – one that I know can serve him better. “What have you done that’s worked in the past?” I ask.

“Well, that’s just it,” he says. “The things that once worked don’t work now.”

Misery loves company because misery is lonely. Actually, that mantra, “Misery loves company” isn’t true. If by misery we mean complaining, whining and making excuses…then yes, misery does love company. We love to find people who will listen to us moan and groan. We enjoy telling people why something we did failed. Or why we didn’t follow through on something we said we’d do.

But when it comes to really honest, genuine misery and dread…we mostly deal with it in our own head. Small business owners often feel the burden of keeping it to themselves. Trying to figure things out alone. It’s easy to feel that we don’t need anybody helping us. We sure don’t want anybody trying to tell us what to do.

We proudly wear our “Happily Unemployable” t-shirt. Working for ourself is a big driver for us. Over time we’ve confused being an owner with going it alone.

Misery has no respect for anybody. It doesn’t matter if you’re a business owner, a creative, a scientist or a student. It doesn’t matter if you’re an amateur or a pro. Misery can afflict anybody. At any time. And it does. Bringing along a close pal, dread.

This business owner was in a bad place, Dreadland. He hated it, but wasn’t sure what he should or could do to escape. We’ve all been there. Sometimes just momentarily, other times longer. It’s like a bad losing streak. And our head doesn’t help us. All those things that got us success in the past now seem to be working against us. Like a professional athlete in a slump who tries harder and harder hoping that more effort will help…we can find ourselves pushing too hard, failing even more.

THE PEER ADVANTAGE is leveraging other business owners willing to help us through this misery.

Jim Rohn said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.” Sadly, some of us are spending time with losers. Other people filled with their own misery and dread. People who lament who is in the White House. Others filled with industry gripes. Still others willing to blame the weather, competition or customers for their misery. It might be fun to chime in with them, but we know it doesn’t help us. Just ’cause it feels good doesn’t mean it’s good for us.

The universe isn’t against you. Or for you. It doesn’t care one way or the other. We have to figure our way out of it and into higher success. Pushing harder to go it alone isn’t the answer, but sometimes it’s all we know. That’s why we stick with it.

Every person I know filled with misery and dread is surrounded by people who enable it, foster it or at the least, tolerate it. Which is why the first thing you have to do when you find yourself steeped in misery and dread is to evaluate the people who surround you. Is your misery amplified by them? Do they contribute to make you feel good about being miserable? Do they agree with you on why you’re the victim of somebody or something? (And is that somebody or something always beyond your control?)

Your misery and dread have found company. That company is wrecking your life, professionally and personally.

Friends, But Not In The Traditional Sense

Business owners and CEOs are notorious for surrendering to a false notion about friends who can help them. They incorrectly believe that such friendships must be completely organic. That is, they happen in the wild…all on their own, without any effort. They think it’s like when we were in 4th grade and got close to a kid one street over, and over the summer we became good buddies. It just happened. We don’t remember how. It’s amazing how UN-strategic small business owners can be when it comes to finding friends who can help them be their best.

No wonder most small business owners don’t have a single person who can help them grow and improve. Some day never comes.

Ironic, isn’t it? We’ll be strategic about most things in our business except in forging friendships with people who can really serve us. But I’m not slamming anybody because how do we go about it? Who do we recruit? How do we know who will do a good job for us? You can see the difficulty…and the reason so few people have a close circle of people who can help them.

That’s precisely why I have pivoted my entire business and career to be a player in the peer advantage space serving small business owners. Because the need and the opportunity for exponential growth for small business owners is real. So few small business owners know and understand the opportunity. That’s my fuel. My energy. To give a few small business owners exposure to a quantum leap opportunity for business and personal growth by putting them in the company of other business owners equally determined to accomplish their desired outcomes.

It’s individual and personal. Some business owners want to grow much larger. Others want to sustain growth and develop a solid exit strategy. Small business owners are unique individuals with unique goals and objectives in life. Some are young. Some are older. Some are in high-tech and others are in tried-and-true spaces. That diversity empowers us to serve each other with varied points of view, resulting in powerful feedback fully capable of catapulting us to higher altitudes than we’ve ever experienced.

All three actions of effective business building – getting new customers, serving existing customers better and not going crazy in the process – are achieved more fully and faster when we surround ourselves with other business owners who will help us. The Peer Advantage is found only when you grab hold of the opportunity for yourself by allowing yourself to join forces with a small group of other business owners. Courage, candor and openness are the ingredients of those willing to elevate their businesses and their lives.

Misery is easy. Success is hard. But worth it.

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The Peer Advantage: A New Domain & A New Podcast Series (and more Bula! news) #TPA001

Entrepreneurship, Inside The Yellow Studio, Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

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The Peer Advantage: A New Domain & A New Podcast Series - BULA NETWORK #TPA001

Big news. Well, it’s not breaking news if you’ve been paying attention, but I’m hopeful that some of you are brand new around here. Welcome! BULA!*

You’ve likely already noticed that this episode has a special designation, TPA001. This is episode 1 of The Peer Advantage series. I’ll explain.

What Brought Me Here Will Get Me There

You may have read the Marshall Goldsmith book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. Yeah, me, too.

Well, that’s not what this is. This is about what brought me to the truth of peer advantage will get me where I want to go. More importantly, it will help get my customers – my clients – where they want to go. And it’ll give me the best vehicle to help them.

All you need to know about me for now is that I’ve operated in business all my life since I was 16 and first walked into a job selling hi-fi gear. Within the first decade of my career I was running a subsidiary of a larger company, a small chain of luxury retail stores focused on consumer electronics (big screen TV’s, stereo equipment, etc.). For over 25 years I was at the helm of companies, leading the charge to always be viciously competitive, nimble, quick and highly maneuverable. Growth and improvement were my passion. I was always in search of what’s possible…dissatisfied with the current state of things, including every measurable performance indicator. Extraordinary and remarkable were words I’d use to focus organizations.

Nine years ago I stepped away to help other small business owners in what I’ve called “roll-up-your-sleeves-get-your-hands-dirty” consulting work. I had already been doing some of that on the side as a passion project. Mostly because other business owners – mostly those in my sector of consumer electronics or retailing – would often call and seek my perspective. That’s how Bula Network, LLC was born.

I had been podcasting for a few years already and instantly people thought “network” was because of the podcast. Not so, even though that made sense. I was thinking “network” because the work was all over the place. It wasn’t focused on marketing or management or any other area of operating a business. It was anything and everything. I might be working with one owner on inventory management, another on HR issues, and another on succession planning. I thought “network” because of the areas of focus and the network of different things I’d help with.

Do you believe in serendipity? I do. Here we are years later and I think Bula Network was never intended to be what I launched. I’m a big believer in plan B. Plan A is what we start…and what we think will bring us the greatest success. Plan B is often what occurs after we figure a few things out and realize there’s a different/better path. This episode is all about plan B and I’m excited to finally arrive here.

Bula Network is now a full-fledged peer advantage company with a sole focus – for the first time ever! To serve small business owners through peer advantage.

Good marketing advice always includes urging people to narrow their focus. I’ve given that advice. Unfortunately, I’ve not taken my own medicine until now. That alone makes this feel very different from anything I’ve ever done. Learn that lesson…preferably sooner than I did. Get focused on who you’re going to serve, who you’re going to be and what you’re going to do. For almost a decade I’ve neglected that.

About 4 years ago I learned, for the first time, about professional peer advisory groups for business owners and leaders. Call me naive. Call me ignorant. Call me busy! I just hadn’t been exposed to them. Nobody had ever talked with me about such a group. Nobody had ever invited me to join such a group. Yes, I had been involved in countless industry or associations where we had group meetings, sometimes small groups. But these were people exactly like me with the same point of view, the same gripes and more often than not these morphed into whining sessions where people complained about the things that were wrong with the industry. And I wasn’t interested. It just wasn’t profitable and it’s not how I rolled. The market is the market. Vendors do what vendors do. Politicians do what politicians do. Customers do what customers do. You either deal with the present reality and act accordingly, or you do what these people did – complain. I much preferred to deal with it.

When I was a freshman in college, or maybe when I was still in high school (who can remember?) I read Napoleon Hill’s Think And Grow Rich. That book introduced the world to the “mastermind” group. The titans of industry during the industrial revolution in America fought like dogs against each other. They’d sometimes realize that they could benefit from joining forces. And some lesser successful, but still VERY successful people found it highly profitable to connect and collaborate with others so they could all help each other grow their businesses and their lives.

So it’s not like I had no notion of such groups. It’s just that I hadn’t been part of any. Not really. And that includes the over half a dozen online mastermind groups I’d been invited to join. None of them were valuable. All of them were a waste of time for a few basic reasons. One, the person forming the group didn’t know what they were doing. They didn’t know how to operate a group effectively. There is a skillset required to lead a group of business owners. Not everybody has it. Two, the person forming the group assembled people who occupied some place in their life at the time. There wasn’t a strategic purpose behind our organization. It was mostly random. Three, the group didn’t have a stated purpose. The focus wasn’t there. Four, the group members weren’t committed. We had no skin in the game. We were merely being polite to the person who invited us. So we attended once or twice. Five, there was no accountability. When you’re missing the other things, accountability is the last thing you worry about. It was all a recipe for a total waste of time.

Then I discovered there were actual groups with a focus that interested me – business growth. I started paying attention. That was about 4 years ago. I wasn’t in any position to take advantage, but I remember thinking how I wish I’d been part of a group while operating a multi-million dollar retailing company. But here I was a solopreneur grinding out the work, connecting with prospective clients and very focused on helping people one-on-one. My station in life was now different and it was by my own design. I had operated companies with employees, equipment and inventory. Now I wanted none of those things. Instead, I wanted to serve business owners and executives because I knew I had a lifetime of experiences and it was about two things for me: significance and legacy.

I dove into learning more about this whole peer advisory thing. I came to see it as a movement. A very positive movement. It wasn’t new, but I sensed it was an opportunity because I knew the need was enormous if people could clearly see it for what it is – a vehicle to help them grow as people and to help them grow their business. I was already all in on the mental fitness and emotional health of business people. I knew the stress of their lives and how addicting it can be. But I also knew the dark side of too much alcohol, too many busted marriages and too many suicides. All the things nobody wants to talk about. The grind chews people up. The think we love can often hurt us. Chaos, stress, the hustle – they thrill us and fuel us. They can also turn on us and kill us if we’re not careful. I knew this well.

I kept learning. I kept checking things out. I kept reading and talking with people. I even made a run at being part of an organization that focused on serving CEOs. It didn’t work out because I wasn’t a good fit for their culture, but I saw the value of their work (and still think highly of them). I read a book that was published a year ago, The Power Of Peers. I got more fascinated with peer groups, especially for small business owners.

About this same time I began to return to my roots – small business. I had gone from consulting to coaching back to consulting. I had helped CEOs, executives, leaders and small business owners. I realized the small business owner was the closest to my heart. It’s where my passion was hottest. I knew it like the back of my hand. I related to these people. These were my people.

One of the co-authors of the book, The Power Of Peers, was Leo Bottary. I had heard Leo on a couple of podcasts and wondered why he didn’t have his own podcast. So I reached out to Leo and offered to help him just so I could learn more about the space of peer advisory. I wanted to play in this space. I wanted to be a player in it and it’s what I wanted to do with the rest of my career. That was around October 2016 but it was a decision “in process.” That means, it wasn’t a decision made in a singular moment. It happened over time. Reaching out to Leo wasn’t merely a decision to serve a person already operating in the space of community, connection and collaboration – he was symbolic of my desire to learn more and enter the space myself to make my own contribution.

I was discovering a new professional passion – the first element of a good story. It had been over 7 years since I had read Donald Miller’s book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life. That book was about creating the story of your life. I had long ago learned the 5 elements of a great story: passion, hero, antagonist, awareness and transformation. Well, I had been struggling to find my professional passion since leaving the C-suite. I was uncovering it and it had been right under my nose the entire time. It wasn’t new. In fact, it was something I had done all my life. Two words leaped to the forefront of my mind: connection and collaboration. Now it was time to make my bet. Well, it wasn’t time, but it felt like it was. I had to endure a few more months of work and a bit more pondering.

We’re ready when we’re ready. Yes, people can help us get there more quickly, but in the end – we decide for ourselves. I felt I was ready to make the pivot, but something kept me from going all in. It’s the same thing that slows us all down. Just a tad of doubt. Isn’t it amazing how pounds of passion can be dampened by just a teaspoon full of doubt?

By the time May 2017 rolled around I was placing my bet by going all in – pot committed – to a complete pivot. Bula Network, LLC would no longer be what it was at the start. It would become what I now most wanted it to be – what I most wanted to be – a peer advantage company serving small business owners. All in. No looking back.

Leo and I met at a Chili’s Restaurant in The Woodlands (Houston). We talked about the podcast, YEAR OF THE PEER and our work together. And I told him of my idea to launch an online peer advisory group of small business owners. From that conversation and his feedback I decided to launch two groups of 7, one AM group and one PM group. It spawned from a renewed optimism that I decided to embrace. Optimism that together we can do great things. Optimism that together small business owners can achieve more than they ever could apart…and do it much, much faster!

This is the first in a series of new episodes I’m calling THE PEER ADVANTAGE. It may become THE podcast here, but right now that’s not the plan. You can see how my plan B is overtaking what was once plan A though…so you never know. I don’t know how many episodes it will be I do know it’s going to bring you value. Here’s why — I’m going to document this entire journey. Warts and all. Good times. Bad times. Victories. Defeats. It’s going to all be chronicled right here until I have successfully launched two groups of 7 each or until I’ve failed and quit (that’s not going to happen, but every story needs tension…so there’s mine).

How is this going to work? By surrounding myself with people who I know will help me. People who will ask me the tough questions. People who will avoid judging me, but who will happily (and quickly) hold me accountable to the decisions I commit to. I’ll have more to say about these people later. I’ll introduce you to each of them. Leo Bottary is going to be one of them. I’ll have two others so I can keep my little peer advantage group tight. It’s my version of working live without a net because I know there’s courage and power in vulnerability. I’m willing to share my own vulnerability with YOU. I think it will serve you by showing you how valuable it is, and I also think it may inspire you to embrace your own.

There’s another benefit to this. It’s going to be easier to show you peer advantage rather than to tell you about it. You already know the value of it, but maybe not in the context of being a business owner. I want to show you how powerful it will be for you in that context.

And yes, there’s an enormous benefit to me in doing this. I’m going to be the recipient of surrounding myself with these 3 people. Yes, I know they’ll each get benefits, too. I hope they’ll each feel like it’s a valuable experience for them even though our purpose of coming together is to help me with my current pivot. It’s what happens when peer advantage occurs. Other people help you with your issues. My issue is this desired pivot.

I’m not pursuing a good feeling as much as I’m pursuing growth and improvement. I want to accomplish this goal of building two new groups of 7 small business owners from around the nation. My purpose is to bring together these 3 people who I trust. Just being together is excuse enough, but I know we live in a more practical world that requires us to have a point to being together. I’m rather certain that merely being together serves us well. Just because.

I’m happy you and I were together today. Now it’s your turn to speak. I’d enjoy hearing from you. Take a moment and share your thoughts at the Bula Network Facebook page.

Thank you.

*Bula is a Fiji term analogous to aloha in Hawaiian. It means both “hello” and “goodbye.” It also means life and carries with it the connotation that “life is good.” I’m not from Fiji and have never even been there, but over 35 years ago I came across the term and fell in love with it. That’s why I named my company after that word, Bula Network, LLC.

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If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking Review on iTunes. It’ll help the show rank better in iTunes.

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The Peer Advantage: A New Domain & A New Podcast Series (and more Bula! news) #TPA001 Read More »