We decide our own direction. Perhaps some have more opportunities. Or better circumstances. But still, we all make choices. It’s our life. It’s our choice.
We can decide to be victims who are “unlucky” or we can decide that in spite of our challenges we’re going to climb to success. No matter how long it takes.
Too frequently I hear people talk about what they’ll do “one of these days.” Why, one of these days they’re going to do something they really want to do. One of these days, they’re going to do something meaningful!
How sad. To consider that years and years have been devoted to something that is meaningless!
Which is more difficult:
a) Getting up each day to do something you feel is meaningless or
b) Getting up each day attempting – perhaps not succeeding – at doing something you feel is meaningful?
Trudging through the day feeling like you’re not making a difference is among the toughest work out there. And hoards of people line up each day to join in. Daily, they go home beaten down, frustrated and defeated. Wishing life were better. Or just different.
But personal accountability means embracing the adage, “If it is to be, it’s up to me!” That’s where too many people surrender to the false belief that accomplishment is merely good fortune, luck or some other arbitrary energy beyond their grasp. Fooled by their own blindness to see the opportunities, they’re focused on the misery that seems to sum up their life. Unaware that R.E.M. had it right, “Everybody hurts…sometimes.” But not everybody embraces it and wraps it around themselves like a warm blanket. Resilient people toss it aside and get on with the hard work of choosing to be meaningful.
It begins with a choice, making up your mind. Choose to be meaningful.
Apprenticeship is said to have begun in the 1300’s, but I don’t buy that. It’s much older than that.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t so structured until then, but didn’t it really begin when a skilled, experienced person decided to teach somebody else – probably a younger person?
If you look at the Bible you read the story of a young prophet, Elisha, taking the mantle from the older prophet, Elijah. We’re talking 9th century BC – well before the 1300’s. Older people passing on the skills, wisdom and experiences, and the responsibility to the next generation.
From artisans to prophets, not every craft was the domain of everybody who wanted to hang out a sign advertising themselves to be something they’d not yet learned. These were the days before this whole “take permission” mess. Nobody would dare take permission without first earning the right to know what they were doing.
Imagine the blacksmith opening up without knowing how to properly shoe a horse, or fix a wagon wheel. Possession of a hammer and anvil doesn’t make a guy a blacksmith, no matter how burly he may be.
Poor guy. He needed to live in 2013. He can take permission without any talent, skill or no how. Forget that we don’t need blacksmiths any more. Minor detail.
Open the gate. Let everybody in. Just anybody.
Wait a minute.
Too late.
It’s happened.
And we’re not better for it. Where there is no barrier of entry, the crap can make it even harder for the competent, capable artisans to rise to the top. That gate is resistance that necessary to maintain the tradition of quality.
There are something like 3 million blog posts written daily. If one post requires 15 minutes of effort – and many of them likely require much longer – that represents 750,000 collective man/woman hours spent writing blog posts. Daily.
I have lots of conversations about stories. Late last week I was talking with somebody about rags to riches stories. They certainly do happen. In fact, I had commented about that terrific series of TV programs on the Men Who Built America. Some of those men went from rags to riches. A few of them went back to rags…proving that old adage about going from shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves in 3 generations.
The world of business has dominated my adult life. Effective selling is comprised of a whole lot of listening, asking great questions and telling terrific stories. Not lies. Stories. I learned those things before I graduated from high school. That was in the era of Watergate – which certainly had an impact on my cynicism. It was proof that things aren’t always what they seem.
Unfortunately, marketing and sales often involve corrupt practices. That includes making up tales that sound great, but aren’t true. The Internet makes it easier than ever to lie. Plenty of people do it.
But…
While I was preparing to go inside the gym to workout, I fired up my iPhone and shot this short video.
Because I don’t care if the stories are true. It’s not the facts of the story that really matter in the context of the conversation we were having about rags to riches tales. What matters is the moment of decision. Most often they’re described in vivid detail to compel listeners to understand the depths of despair…the low point from which the person can climb to find success. It makes the rise seem more spectacular. It makes us think, “Man, if they could overcome that — surely I can overcome my problems.”
So what if it’s not true? I argued that doesn’t diminish the strength of the point – that sometimes we don’t decide until our back is against the wall. Sometimes we neglect to make the best decision until we’re forced to by circumstances that seem so dire we conclude, “What do we have to lose?” Or, we grow so tired of the despair we conclude, “I’m not going to live like this any more.”
Yes, truth matters. No, I don’t want to deal with or engage people who lie in order to get business or promote themselves. But, there are still important things we can learn – even from the most made up stories.
I love the Elvis song, but picking up chicks isn’t quite what I’ve got in mind today. Or any other day for that matter. I’m happily married.
How do you feel about these topics?
• Work flow
• Systems
• Processes
• Schedules
• Calendars
• Deadlines
• Standard Operating Procedures
I confess. Some days I embrace and love all these things. Other days, they plum evade me!
For me, it comes and goes in spurts. Some spurts last a long time. Others, not so much.
This week I had some big technology challenges – most notably Internet issues thanks to my ISP (Internet service provider). Since my wife and I both work from home offices and our work relies heavily on the Internet, it wasn’t a terribly productive week. Even when the Internet issues were repaired, I found myself completely discombobulated due to the disruption.
Does that ever happen to you? I imagine it happens to everybody.
It’s not a good sign when you start out a week having to cancel some online appointments. Things went downhill from there.
Oh, I was busy. But I wasn’t productive. So yesterday I Tweeted a message to help myself try to get back on track and salvage what’s left of the week.
I’m not busy but I’m productive.
No, it wasn’t a statement (Tweet) of fact. It was a statement (Tweet) of what I needed to do. I needed to stop being busy and start being productive.
That’s when Elvis entered my head singing, “A little less talk, a little action please!”
But, too much talk isn’t the cause of my current failures. It’s a confluence of factors that have converged on me in recent days. It happens.
Unexpected things. Expected things. Things just come up and knock our wheels off, making it hard to keep going down the track.
I admit it. Those are just excuses. Good ones, but still excuses!
I need to be more disciplined. That’s what the Elvis song means to me today. I need to get my butt in gear and start making meaningful progress. I need to stop talking, stalling and putting things off. It’s time to dive in and get after it.
You can chase getting things done, or you can let your work chase you! I’d rather chase than be chased.
Here are some things I’ve going to resolve to do:
– Release the podcast on a specific day of the week at a precise time. No, I’ve not settled on exactly when yet – but I’m working on it.
– Create an editorial schedule, too. I write a lot. Every day. I just don’t post a lot. I’d like to publish one post a week.
– Get back to my block scheduling – something I’ve almost always done, but I’ll allowed it to slip this year. And I can’t explain why. It just happened. Proof that if you don’t pay attention, things don’t improve.
– I’m almost always creating work flow, schedules, processes and systems for clients. It time for the cobbler to build himself some shoes.
– I’m getting back into chase mode. I’m always in chase mode when it comes to business, but I’ve allowed the work to chase me lately. I don’t enjoy being chased by work. I’d much rather do the chasing and hunt it down, tackle it and get it in a choke hold. So WORK, you’d better start running ’cause I’m coming. And I’m armed and dangerous.
When the tank is empty you can fill up with a higher grade fuel.
I quit. Again. Not my first time. Doubtful my last.
I’d invested 40 years sharpening my business building skills. You don’t survive four decades doing something if you suck at it. Of course, surviving it doesn’t mean you’re great at it either. But I was both a survivor and great (tongue firmly in cheek).
Careers usually don’t have the ideal hockey stick curve. Mine sure didn’t. There were up’s and down, but mostly the overall trajectory was favorable. Accomplishment was the fuel that drove me. Not income. But I was highly compensated because I was a faithful steward to every man who hired me and I was great at running their businesses so they didn’t have to. It was my personal business model that I had fallen into in my early 20’s. It remained my business model until I quit. The first time.
That was back in the spring of 2008 following a tough 3- year period where I ran the business full-time while trying to buy the company so I could convert it into an ESOP (employee stock ownership plan). Running the company and working feverishly to make a deal exhausted me. I chalked it up to sprinting hard for over 3 years. That would run anybody’s tank low.
When I finally made the decision that I was no longer going to chase the buyout, I hunkered down to really focus on my role of leading the company. I thought it would re-energize me. We had done good work for nearly 20 years. The company had a stellar reputation and a unique place in the Dallas retail landscape. There was much to be proud of and I put my head down to push our company’s accomplishments to new levels.
After almost 9 months of intense efforts to “do the work” I realized how miserable I was. I was simply sick of the game. My tank held only fumes. It was a first for me. I’d never experienced it before. Not really. Being tired is one thing. Being empty is quite a different sensation.
Success can foil greater success. It did for me. Success can prevent you from doing something different, something better. Something for which you’re better suited. Because as we all know, you can’t argue with success. Well, you can, but nobody does!
Success caused me to run on empty. By the Spring of 2008 I was 52 and highly compensated. Everyman has his price. You don’t like to think so, but that’s just because you’ve not yet hit yours. Trust me. You’ve got a price. And it may not be money.
I had been running on empty for too long. We’ve all done it. Kept going. And going. And going. Watching the needle slowly (or quickly) descend.
Growing more anxious as we boogie down the highway at night looking for any sign of civilization, life and a gas station.
Hoping to see one soon.
Then the overwhelming relief we feel when we spot one and navigate successfully to the pump before the engine dies.
Other times we run out on purpose because the fuel we have isn’t the fuel we need, or want.
For years I’ve driven little 4-cylinder high performance cars that require 93 octane fuel. There have been times when I could only find 91 octane. It’s just not the same. The sooner I could burn that tank full of 91, the sooner I could refuel with 93. And be back on the high performance I wanted. It involved an intentional, purposeful running the tank down to empty. When your tank is full of an undesired fuel…you’ve got to empty it so you can refill it with what you want.
I hadn’t been happy for a very long time, but I was successful and responsible. And I wasn’t a quitter. Yet.
Serendipity happened. I hit my ceiling price tag. The details are unimportant except to tell you that I faced a non-negotiable standard. Most of us have those. We may not know what they are exactly, but when we’re faced with choices…there are things we simply won’t do. Actions we won’t agree to. Decisions we’ll refuse to make. Without so much as a phone call home, I resigned.
Unlike the gas tank in my car, I wasn’t able to pull up to a pump and just fill it up. I thought I could, but I had never known an empty tank. I was unprepared. Completely.
Empty meant lost. For a long time. Years.
I had devoted my life to management, marketing and all the stuff involved in building businesses. Now, I couldn’t find sufficient energy to do it. I did the usual consulting and helping people. Clients told me I helped them, but it was incredibly unrewarding. I poured myself – as much as possible – into their businesses and their challenges doing everything I could to affect improvement. Mostly, it frustrated the soup out of me.
Fast forward to December, 2012. I’m sensing the tank is empty. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Frustrated with a client (my largest) who was determined to be miserable (“it’s never going to be any better” was his daily battle cry), I was miserable. So I fired myself. Or him. Again, I quit. I wished him well and began a quiet, unannounced hiatus while I searched for my next move.
By the time May 12, 2013 rolled around I was spent. It had been coming for months, but in the early morning hours I got a text that I had been expecting. It simply said, “He’s gone.” I’ve said and written all about it. You’ll find it here.
I’d love to tell you running on empty was intentional, but it wasn’t. It just happened. In part, because of my own foolishness. In part, because it’s a stage of life I’m going through that has more to do with experience than age, but I’m not sure about that.
It has everything to do with coming to grips with important issues that everybody faces. It has to do with contribution, service, passing it on, helping and making a difference. It has to do with figuring things out.
Finding answers is tough work. Finding good answers is still harder. Finding great answers is harder still.
So it is with habits, too. Whether we’re trying to change something temporarily or permanently, it’s tough to shake things up.
It means avoiding some things, reducing some things, eliminating some things and starting some new things.
It’s been almost 4 months since the funeral. I’m starting to feel normal again. Kinda. Sorta. More days are easier than hard. So that’s progress.
Now what?
It’s time to create art. Again. Something I haven’t done since I was a teenager.
It’s time to give more. Again. Something I have done my entire life.
• Checking Facebook no more than twice daily
• Checking Twitter no more than twice daily
• Checking email no more than three times daily
• Writing something – anything – every single day
• Taking photographs of something – anything – every single day
• Talking with somebody about something emotional – happy, sad, frustrating, thrilling, etc. – every single day
• Reading fiction regularly
• Reading biographies regularly
• Avoiding books, articles, blog posts, podcasts or videos that are all about business and only business
• Listening to more music
• Singing more (why don’t people sing more?)
• Drawing (I used to do this all the time)
• Picking up my guitar and for the first time with purposeful intention to learn 5 cords (G, D, C, A and E)
• Relaunching the podcast over at Leaning Toward Wisdom (I did that, even though I’m not terribly regular at producing content.)
• Interviewing at least 3 people a week for the project – Chasing DFW Cool (I’ve already smoked that goal. I just started this a week ago and I’m already past 5 with more on the schedule.)
• Intently focus more on my paying clients (this will be hard because I’ve always been an “all in” kinda guy with people who hire me to help them, but I’m still trying to up my game)
It’s that next to the last thing that is the professional thing. I say “professional” and not “business” for a reason. I have no idea about making money with it. That’s not the point. I don’t even care about it. I’m going to launch Chasing DFW Cool because I want to. Because I know I can do it…and do it well. Because I know there are tons of people in this area – Dallas/Ft. Worth – doing cool things. Because I want to tell their stories.
It’s the last thing that is the money-maker. That provides the income, and has since I stepped away from running companies. It started out coaching executives, but I’ve narrowed it further into coaching and working only with CEO’s or business owners. There’s enough creativity in that to keep me juiced in that endeavor, but Chasing DFW Cool is the bigger creative outlet.
I’m determined to fill my tank with high octane fuel.
Yes, I have to make a living. Thankfully, it doesn’t take much these days. I have one client who will get all my business focus. That’ll pay the bills. I’m letting everything else go!
In the meantime, I’ll be running on better fuel than I’ve run on in a long, long time. Fuel that gives me more energy, more horsepower and greater thrills. Without any thought about money. Because I can.
I’ve spent 40 years running on the fuel of business building. I found success. I figure I’m smart enough that what I don’t know about this new adventure – I can figure out. Eventually. And I’ll do it as I go.
Cause that’s how I’ve now decided to roll.
“If you wanna run cool, you got to run On heavy, heavy fuel”
I had never heard that before. I’m supposing it needs capitalization, but I’m not sure.
Lately, I’ve been chasing people to get things done. To take action. Yes, it’s a common problem, but when I stumbled onto the notion that people sometimes don’t take action for fear of “social embarrassment” I just had to sit down inside The Yellow Studio and fire up the Aphex 230’s and the microphones. Okay, they’re always fired up. I never turn them off.
