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221 The Secret Rule For Business Success

Entrepreneurship, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

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The other day I heard a man talk about how his great grandfather had his own business. His grandfather and his father also had their own businesses. Now, he had his own business. Four generations of business owners, including the current generation!

You’re thinking, “What a great family tradition. I wish I had entrepreneurship in my DNA like that.” Wait a minute though. Tap the brakes.

He went on to say that none of them, including him, had experienced financial success. He summed it up by saying, “We’ve all struggled and never broken through.”

Four generations of business ownership seems impressive until you get that last little truth.

In 2012 the median income in America was $51,017. The great grandson figures he’s made more money in a single year – in hard dollars – than his father or grandfather. It was under $50,000. He’s not been able to crack the median income. Struggling with failure is a daily feeling for him. “How can you feel like you’ve broken through simply because you work for yourself?” he asks. Everybody thinks working for yourself is the road to financial and lifestyle freedom.

And it can be, but it’s not an automatic outcome.

You Must Be Willing To Risk It All

We’ve all heard that. Define all. Does “all” mean your family? Your wife? Your kids? Does “all” mean your health? Does “all” mean your convictions and beliefs? Business pundits who tell us how to achieve success may back pedal at these questions, but if ALL doesn’t include these things, then how many other things are excluded? Sounds to me like all doesn’t mean all, or even nearly all. Or does it?

Sacrifice Means Giving Up Some Things So You Can Claim More Valuable Things

I’m not telling you that success – even financial success, if we want to limit our discussion to money – hinges on risking everything. I don’t believe it. For every person who claims to have put everything at risk to make it financially I can show you others who will admit they didn’t risk much at all. Life just isn’t so cut and dried or simple. It’s very complex with more variables than I’m able to quantify.

Here’s what I do know to be true – you must be willing to sacrifice some things if you’re going to have some things of higher value. Fitness is going to require you sacrifice morning donuts, mid-afternoon soft drinks and late night pizza gorge-fests. A successful marriage is going to require self-sacrifice, not hanging with your buddies too much, not spending 80 hours a week working and tons of other sacrifices. Raising children, if you’re going to succeed, is going to demand lots of sacrifices. All kinds.

“Yes, I want all those things…and I want to be rich, too.” I’m not saying that’s impossible, but I am saying it’s improbable. It’s foolish to think you’ll buck the odds and it can happen for you. It might, but you’re likely going to be very disappointed.

If everything is important, then nothing is important.

Yes, making money is important. Yes, having a great marriage is important. Yes, raising good, well-behaved children is important. They’re all important.

Okay, then let me give you a scenario and you tell me how you’re going to handle it.

You’re youngest son is 8. He’s got a school program tonight. It’s been on your calendar for almost 2 weeks. Your wife’s family have come to town to attend. They’ve arrived in town yesterday. Your wife has made plans to go to a restaurant 2 hours before the event. That’s been on your calendar, too. The school program is at 7pm. The restaurant reservation, with the family and in-laws, is set for 5pm. At 3:45pm you get a phone call. A prospect is in town and wants to know if you’re free tonight to discuss your newest products. He knows it’s last minute and hates to impose, but he’s flying out late tonight and would love to talk about your products. He’s potentially a big customer.

What are you gonna do? Which of these is important? I know they all are, but you have to sacrifice something.

Will you:

Sacrifice the family dinner?
Sacrifice the school event?
Sacrifice the business prospect?

These are real world scenarios that many of us face.

In business, if you selected 1 and 2, then congratulations – you’re on the road to financial success. Maybe. There’s no guarantee.

The prospect may spend the evening listening to you, asking you questions and flying home only to have second thoughts and deny you the purchase order. Or, he may go home and write you a million dollar order. Can you risk that?

One dinner missed. One school function missed. That’s not going to wreck anybody’s home. True enough, but we both know it’s not just this one time. It’s priorities and it’s vexing to have to wrestle with these, but it’s how our real lives work. And many of us make a choice one time, then a different choice the next time and we end up wrecked all the way around.

We all know of too many people – maybe it’s US – who tried to have it all only to realize they couldn’t have any of it. Lost their family. Lost their kids. Lost their business or financial success.

Well rounded people aren’t at the top of the hill in financial success. So don’t start shouting that you want to be well-rounded unless you really mean it.

Here’s The Secret Rule: There Are No Rules And There Are No Formulas

We love to focus on outliers. We also love to think we’ll be one of them. It’s just highly unlikely. Just look at the barometer of money, income. Only 3.9% of American’s earn $200,000 a year or more. That means 96.1% of the American population is earning less than that. 80% of Americans earn less than $100,000 a year. Do you still think anybody – or everybody – can make $200,000 a year? They can’t. They won’t. And there’s tons of reasons or explanations on why. The numbers don’t lie. We do. To ourselves.

Can a person be wealthy, have a successful marriage and raise good kids? Of course they can. But again, the odds aren’t favorable. As I type this up we’re experiencing severe weather in Dallas. Some homes have been destroyed. Power is out in some major parts of the city. We’ve had tornado warnings. Tornados are like success in some ways. They’re random. Yes, the atmosphere can produce conditions that enhance the possibility, but that doesn’t mean we’ll get a tornado. Just like financial success, there are no guarantees.

We want guarantees. At least we want a guarantee that there’s a chance. And we’d like it to be a good chance! We want a formula to follow like a cookie recipe. Insert these ingredients, at these quantities, during this point in the process and presto! Success. But there are no formulas or recipes. And there are no rules.

I’m not saying we roam the earth subject 100% to random chance. I’m not saying we shouldn’t assume responsibility for our outcomes. Fact is, I’m fond of the saying I first heard from Jack Welch during his days running GE, “Control your own destiny or somebody else will.” I believe in doing all you can to give yourself the best opportunity, but that doesn’t mean you’ll ever break through. You still may fail. But it beats the alternative to just sit around hoping lightning will strike.

Figuring Out What Matters Most Is Often Harder Than We Imagined

Here’s the reason we can’t make success a formula, recipe or secret. It’s individual. It’s based on our own exploration and discovery. It’s based on our own values, ambitions, skills, talents, connections, choices and behaviors. You have to find your own way. I hope to just supply you a bit of help along the way.

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FTV001 He Endured 4 Years Of Solitary Confinement In A POW Camp…What Can YOU Endure To Achieve Your Success?

Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

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I had shoulder surgery on Monday so this week I’m a bit out of commission. I’m sure you understand. This podcast is from the vault of Leaning Toward Wisdom, dated March 28, 2014. Leaning Toward Wisdom is another podcast I produce. This episode, FTV (from the vault) is the first of these episodes I’m going to share here. This show is about resilience. I hope you enjoy it.

Jeremiah Denton was a Viet Nam war veteran. He died this morning. He was 89. Sadly, I had never heard of him until I was reading about him in the news following his death.

Denton was a US Navy flyer shot down in July 1965. The North Vietnamese army captured him. He suffered as a POW under horrible conditions, including the famed “Hanoi Hilton.” He was held captive for 7-1/2 years! In his book, When Hell Was In Session, he wrote…

In the early morning hours, I prayed that I could keep my sanity until they released me. I couldn’t even give in to their demands, because there were none. It was pure revenge.”

Denton suffered torture. In 1966 his captors taped a propaganda interview with him. During the interview he used Morse code to blink the word T-O-R-T-U-R-E. That alerted the U.S. intelligence community that American soldiers weren’t being held under the conventional rules governing POW’s.

As if being in imprisoned wasn’t enough, he was also isolated in solitary confinement for 4 of those years. Daily beatings. Horrid conditions. Now, isolated.

How does a person survive such treatment without giving up? It’s too trite to say, “You gotta do what you gotta do.” But I don’t have a good explanation because I don’t fully understand the difference in people. We vary in our ability to withstand pain and difficulties. We vary in our tolerance for pain, too.

We are too soft!

We sometimes let the smallest bumps in the road throw us into the ditch. Worse yet, we sometimes can’t find our ways out of ditch…all because of one little bump.

Question: Are you committed to failure?

That may explain why your pain level is so low…too low to achieve success.

FTV001 He Endured 4 Years Of Solitary Confinement In A POW Camp…What Can YOU Endure To Achieve Your Success? Read More »

220 Hustling Means Selling: You Gotta Deliver!

Entrepreneurship, Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

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you-have-to-deliver

The United States Postal Service (USPS) has the motto, “We Deliver For You.”

You can’t outsource results in your career. Nobody can deliver for you. It’s all up to you.

Time is the single biggest component of delivery. Fail to get it there on time and you’re toast. It’s not enough to get it there. It’s not enough to get it there in one piece. Those are assumed outcomes.

But time also involves timing. You’ve got to deliver on time and you’ve got to hit at the right moment.

Hustling Demands Speed, But That’s Not All.

Faster is better. Sooner is better than later. The very term “hustle” denotes speed. But sometimes people feel like they’re hustling when they’re creeping along.

It’s the common malady of confusing motion with meaningful action. There’s only one area of my life where that’s profitable: the treadmill. I can do 4 miles a day on a treadmill and it helps my health. It doesn’t take me 4 miles down any other road though.

Fast doesn’t mean reckless. Or ill-planned. Or knee-jerk. Or seat-of-the-pants.

It means taking the next step now. And it means being comfortable knowing that you don’t have complete knowledge or insight.

The Marines talk about a 70% rule where in the field, armed with 70% information, troops make the best decision possible without delay. They know success is more likely using that formula than it is if they wait for more information.

In fact, Louis C.K. talked about the same thing in an upcoming GQ interview.

These situations where I can’t make a choice because I’m too busy trying to envision the perfect one—that false perfectionism traps you in this painful ambivalence: If I do this, then that other thing I could have done becomes attractive. But if I go and choose the other one, the same thing happens again. It’s part of our consumer culture. People do this trying to get a DVD player or a service provider, but it also bleeds into big decisions. So my rule is that if you have someone or something that gets 70 percent approval, you just do it. ‘Cause here’s what happens. The fact that other options go away immediately brings your choice to 80. Because the pain of deciding is over.

“And,” he continues, “when you get to 80 percent, you work. You apply your knowledge, and that gets you to 85 percent! And the thing itself, especially if it’s a human being, will always reveal itself—100 percent of the time!—to be more than you thought. And that will get you to 90 percent. After that, you’re stuck at 90, but who the (bleep) do you think you are, a god? You got to 90 percent? It’s incredible!”

How often do you find yourself completely stumped about what to do next? Sure, it happens, but most often don’t you know what you should do?

Make a phone call. And you know who you should call.
Go see somebody. And you know who that is.
Write something, read something, research something or do something. And you know what it is.

It’s just one thing, but it’s the next one thing…not the next 10 things.

Hustling Is Selling

Are you a creative? Don’t confuse creating with hustling. You’ve got to be busy creating your art, but that’s not hustling. That’s being creative. Hustling involves money. Whether you need a patron or a customer, you’ve got to hustle.

Are you a business person? Then I don’t have to explain it to you.

We all need people who will fund us. We need money. Without it we can’t keep doing whatever it is we want to do. Paying customers don’t merely provide affirmation that we’re on the right track, they let us stay on the track so we can keep moving.

You gotta hustle! You gotta keep hustling!

For some (maybe for many) selling can be the hardest work possible. After 41 years of doing it, I’ve wrestled with just about every imaginable selling problem.

Call reluctance
Fear
Timidity
Not wanting to be “that guy” who always self promotes

People claim these problems stem from our personal history, our point of view, our personal philosophy and our personality quirks. Maybe. Maybe not.

Me? I think they stem from more basic and fundamental problems like idiocy.

I’ve known stellar salespeople who could sell (or attempt to sell) just about anything. I’m not that guy. I’m certainly not a “sell ice to eskimos” kind of sales guy.

And I’m not a master closer. You know the ones, don’t you? They can pitch like nobody’s business, but their real skill in compelling or coercing you to say, “Yes.” Even when you don’t want to. They don’t care if you have remorse after the fact. Too late, they’ve made the sell and extracting a refund is nearly impossible and hardly worth the trouble. But these sales animals are creatures built very differently than the rest of us.

Sadly, you may be tempted to think that there’s only one way to sell – the way you hate most! WRONG.

You have to be true to yourself. Sharks recognize posers. Don’t try to be a shark…unless of course, you are a shark. It’s okay. We’ll all know you by your fin and sharp teeth. And the fact that you’re swimming alone!

Here’s the deal. For every person who says you CAN’T sell like that…I’ll show you somebody wildly successfully doing it exactly like that.

“You can’t pitch all the time.” Sure you can. I know people who do it all day, every day. And make lots of money doing it. They eat, drink and sleep selling themselves and whatever that involves (real estate, insurance, stocks, financial services, etc.).

“You can’t bug people into buying.” Oh yes you can. I also know people who bother the snot out of people until they either hack them off, or make the sale. Either way, they feel like they won. And for them, that’s the point. They just have to work as fast and hard as possible to get a YES or a NO. If YES, they celebrate, but only briefly. If NO, they quickly move on.

“You can’t make it all about yourself.” Yes you can. Plenty of people do. Some don’t even hide it. Others try to feign caring about others, but in time it’s obviously not genuine. Self-centered, ego maniacs are running rampant in sales circles because some of them have figured out how to make it work for them.

Pick the most despicable selling behavior and I bet I know somebody making a handsome living doing it exactly the way you think it cannot possibly be done. And that’s a problem. For all the rest of us, in overcoming our adversities to be more effective in selling.

We’re repulsed by the notion of hustling or selling. It seems sordid, seedy and something we’d just rather not be associated with. But if we ignore it, we’ll fail. If we neglect to figure it out, we’ll join the vast ranks of people whose great idea never saw daylight because nobody funded it, nobody supported it with purchases and it faded into oblivion.

All for the lack of a paying customer!

Today’s show has one big aim – to help you flip your mental switch in favor of the single biggest activity that will drive your financial success, SELLING. This includes career folks who want to move up the ranks. It includes creatives who need patrons and customers to buy their art. It includes attorneys who need to persuade prospects to hire them. It includes doctors who need to establish referral networks. I don’t care who you are or what you do, selling is still critical for your success. If you’re failing, it’s highly possible that a big reason is because you’re neglecting this major daily activity.

Why?

Laziness
Don’t want to sacrifice anything
Stupidity

I’ve heard tons of people make this excuse: “I’m just not passionate about selling.” They’re nuts. They’re also wrong!

Oh, I know some people want to chase their passion. Well, behave like a dog chasing a car if you’d like, but that’s not what I do, or what I help clients do.

Doing the work requires doing stuff you don’t always enjoy. And you’d better work hard and be good at it. Else, you won’t find success. You have to hustle as though your livelihood depended on it…because it does.

Stop looking for the elusive definition of “successful” because it changes for all of us. Instead, focus on making yourself a success by doing good work really well.

If Mark Cuban netted $100K a month he’d be suicidal. If he made $1 million a month he’d still be suicidal. At the altitude where he’s now accustomed to flying, financial success is measured in 100’s of million of dollars annually. Anything less is disappointing. Cuban is always hustling because he’s now a whale and it takes a lot to feed a whale. His hustle has to match his needs, ambitions and desires.

The point isn’t to compare yourself to Cuban, or anybody else. The point is you do have to hustle to match your needs, ambitions and desires. The world won’t deliver any of those to you. Stop waiting for the truck to pull up to your office or house.

YOU gotta deliver the results you need to make your enterprise succeed. YOU gotta deliver to get what your family needs to survive and thrive. YOU gotta deliver if you’re going to fulfill your ambitions.

So here’s what you gotta do:

Give up excuses! All of them. Take responsibility.
Stop procrastinating. It’s never worked for you. It never will.
Be more fearful of letting down your family and your potential than in hustling. Don’t your loved ones deserve your best? So do your prospects and customers!
Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. You can’t have it all, but you don’t want it all anyway. You’ve just been listening to all the noise telling you you do, and that you can. It’s a lie.
Chase what’s important to you. You have to get the things you need first. That’s money. You need paying customers because you need money to live and to make your other dreams come true. Money is a resource you need, so go get what you need and don’t stop until you get it.
Build a bridge over disappointments and setbacks and stay focused on hustling. A closed door, or a rejection is the price you have to pay for winning. Embrace it and get past the losses fast!
Own it. Own your outcome. Own your actions. YOU gotta deliver!

Thanks for listening!

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219 Your Business Bench Strength: How Critical Is It To Your Success?

Entrepreneurship, Leadership, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

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A deep bench isn’t always necessary, but a strong one is.

When I’m commissioned to coach teams, helping organizations develop bench strength is often a major driver. Organizations have a variety of bench strength concerns. Some worry about succession. Others about just getting the work done. Still others worry about gaps in knowledge, competence or leadership. Not all teams are created with equal needs.

What’s Your Game? What If You Lose A Player?

It’s important for you to look at your company or organization when you’re thinking about bench strength.

Very small businesses don’t even have a bench. They’ve got a few chairs. Many small business owners don’t think much about bench strength because they’re the star player. As long as they’ve got enough support people to play the role of grunts, things are fine. Until they’re not. Suddenly, the person who was doing an important, but perhaps unappreciated job quits. Now, the owner feels betrayed, let down and realizes he’s got a bench problem.

I’m always puzzled when I see bosses react to an employee’s resignation. Too often the boss instantly goes to a place of personal betrayal. “I’m disappointed that you’d do this to me,” he may say. The other day some 2008 episodes of Million Dollar Listing L.A. were on TV. One of the brokers had an assistant who turned in her 2 week notice. She explained that the hours as a single mother just were too taxing on her and she’d found more suitable work for her lifestyle. Her boss, one of the brokers on the show, immediately told her how disappointed he was in her. And the funny thing is this year he had an almost identical situation with a different assistant. He hasn’t learned much in the last 5 years or so because he handled the recent resignation of an assistant almost identically as he had in 2008.

It brings up a universal question of any organization consisting of 2 or more people. What if one leaves?

The real estate broker acknowledged that his life was complete chaos when his assistant left. He quickly scrambled to find a replacement because his workload skyrocketed without an assistant. Many service professionals (like real estate brokers) are very small teams, but that often makes them susceptible to greater dangers if an employee leaves. For this broker, one employee represented 50% of his team. That’s gonna hurt, but shame on him for a) being personal when it should have remained professional and b) for failing to see how a 65-hour workweek was affecting his assistant who was a single mom. He should have done a better job of hiring a team member whose life was more suitable to the work and the schedule. Part of bench strength is knowing the game you’re playing and the needs you’ve got.

Contingency plans are vital for every organization.

You never know. If you’ve been a leader for any length of time at all you’ve been blind-sided before with an unexpected resignation, or worse. Worse would be some event that created a gap in your organization. It could be a death, an arrest or some unforeseen event.

You need a short-term plan and a longer-term plan.

What will you do if in the next hour you suddenly lose a player? Any player? Even non-key players fill a place that leaves a gap when they’re not present. Who else knows how to fulfill that role? Is there any documentation of the role? Are there step-by-step systems in place so anybody with reasonable skills can fill the role, at least temporarily?

Disaster preparation is mostly top-of-mind after a disaster. As I record today’s show the deep south here in America has experienced some violent storms. Some strong tornados have taken almost 40 lives. Entire communities have been devastated. Some people had storm shelters. Many did not. Some people thought they had more time. They were wrong.

I’ve lived most of my life here in Tornado Alley. If you don’t know exactly where you’ll go and what you’ll do when the sirens sound, then you’re potentially in big trouble. So it is if you don’t know exactly what you’ll do if a person – any person – suddenly leaves your bench. Or goes down with an injury. Have you ever had an employee suffer a health issue that knocked them out of the game for awhile?

Don’t start working on the systems after the disaster. Do it beforehand. Document, document, document. Every role in your organization should have documentation of what they do, how they do it, and when they do it. Those systems need constant revision and improvement (and updating). Just because you did the work years ago doesn’t mean the work is still up-to-date enough to do the job if the needs arises today. I’ve got a closet in my house where my wife should hide if a tornado warning sounds. The closet had sufficient room for us a few years ago, but over time more and more stuff has been crammed into it. Today, I went and looked at it. I’d have to spend precious seconds tossing stuff out to make room for us. Those seconds could be the difference in living and dying. I need to go clear out that closet a bit today! You may need to do the same with your documented systems.

Role players are considered people who fill a specific need, but they may also be people with diverse abilities capable of bridging a gap. Usually they’re very comfortable in whatever role they’re given as long as it’s congruent with their view of themselves and their strengths. For instance, the role player who is ideally suited for detail work isn’t likely going to excel if you put him in a sales role, even if it’s only temporary.

Don’t mistake role players for “lesser” players. They’re not. Quite often they’re the guy in the second chair because they’re perfectly suited for it, and they love it. Not all “A” players want to be first chair musicians. Some are quite satisfied to play Ed McMahon to your Johnny Carson (or Paul Schaffer to your David Letterman). The Lone Ranger had Tonto so don’t discount a Tonto in your life.

If Tonto rides away, the Lone Ranger needs to find a suitable replacement. It’s not likely going to be a new acquaintance. Lone Ranger has somebody in mind. Somebody he already knows and trusts. And somebody he feels is capable. The list may have only existed in his head, but at least he had a list just in case. You need a list, too. Just in case.

Relationships are the cornerstone of bench building. Your relationships with your team are paramount, but you must develop relationships with others who may be suitable for your team if the opportunity arises.

Bench Development Hinges On Development, Acquisition And Placement

DAP it. Fail at any of these areas and you’ll suffer bench issues at some point.

Development is easy to overlook and undervalue. Too often I see organizations that put a priority on hiring the right people and trusting they’ll just work out. Little things like “on boarding” can be overlooked. They can also make or break talent acquisition, but they negatively impact developing existing team members, too. Don’t dismiss these things as being soft things that make no difference. These cultural things determine the daily practices of a company or organization.

Hop over to Linkedin or Monster and check out the job listings. Go look at higher end jobs. Look at the laundry list of skills and requirements. Now look at what they offer! See how few of them even mention any support, training or development. Well, no wonder. They don’t even focus on attracting people with compelling offers. They scream, “Look, I’ve posted a job. You should jump at the chance to work for us.” And they wonder why they have bench weaknesses.

Development and acquisition are joined at the hip. You can’t separate them. And placement means what Jim Collins (author of “Good To Great”) called “putting the right people in the right seats on the bus.” It’s matching the right people with the right job and situation. Don’t ruin an “A” player with misplacement or you’ll quickly feel you’ve got a “B” or “C” player. It’s not the player, it’s the situation.

It’s Stanley Cup Playoffs in the National Hockey League. When one team goes on the power play and the other goes on the penalty kill, you’ll see the importance of placement. A star player can find himself sitting on the bench because the coach knows his skills aren’t ideally suited for either of these situations – the penalty kill or the power play (one side is playing with fewer players than the other due to penalties assessed). Sometimes the best “specialty teams” players aren’t the marque players, but rather role players who shine under these special pressure situations. Great coaches know when to put specific players on the ice.

Devote time and energy to develop your team. It takes commitment. Make up your mind that helping your team members become stronger is important. Then get busy doing everything you can to help your people succeed.

Acquire the very best talent available. Skimp on talent and you’ll weaken your team. Go cheap and you’ll end up going home with lackluster performance. I know you’re tempted to think you’re spectacular leadership and coaching will make all the difference, but you’re wrong. Winning is done by great players. Great coaches allow the team to win more, and to win bigger. Poor coaches manage to lose, even with good talent. Never diminish the value of great team members.

Placement isn’t just where people are, but it’s also who is coupled with whom. Bring in a “B” player and see how your “A” players react. It won’t be pretty. And you’ll erode your winning culture with poor placement – either by putting an inferior talent in their midst or by putting the wrong person in a position unsuited for them. This is where your leadership can shine. Do great work in this area and it’ll be clear how strong you are.

Conclusion

Maybe it’s about having somebody in place who can take over your role when you leave.

Maybe it’s about having somebody in place who can accept more responsibility.

Maybe it’s about filling a new position with an existing team member.

Maybe it’s about having a short list of potential candidates to fill unexpected vacancies.

Maybe it’s moving people around so they’re in situations better suited for their talents.

Your game may determine these things. Your company culture and mission will impact them, too. These can be very challenging waters to navigate, especially if you’re trying to do it without proper planning and competent execution. Before you can focus on the work, you have to focus on your bench of players who will perform the work. Your work requires people who can perform at high levels. In your organization it may just be you and one other person, or it may be you leading a small team. But it might be you leading a team of hundreds.

Ignore your bench at your own peril. Don’t disregard the power of the individual people who make up your team because your bench is filled with individuals. Make sure your team members know their proper place on the team because their contribution to the whole is what makes your organization win.

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215 – 6 Lessons I Learned In A Year Of Suffering (Reflections On Losing A Lifelong Friend)

Personal Development, Podcast, Randy Cantrell / By Randy Cantrell

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Randy, Lexie (Randy's sister), Joni (Stan's sister) and Stanley in Ada, OK — Randy, Lexie (Randy’s sister), Joni (Stan’s sister) and Stanley in Ada, OK

Stanley was born on April 11, 1957. He left this life on May 12, 2013. On the day of his death I published this post and podcast. It was the most painful post and podcast I’ve ever produced. No, it has nothing to do with business, management, leadership or building an organization/business. It’s intensely personal. So, if such things are off-putting to you, then avoid it. But if you want to know more about who and what I really am, then you may find it valuable. I’ll let you judge.

This Friday would have been his 57th birthday. I think of him every day. Every single day.

Modern marketing gurus regurgitate the ancient maxim, “People are all listening to the radio station, WIIFM – What’s In It For Me. Don’t talk about yourself. Talk about your prospect.” While that may be fundamentally true, it presupposes that we’re all morons roaming around devoid of interest in others, repelled by notions of compassion or empathy and behaving like Barney Fife once described giraffes to Opie.

Boy, giraffes are selfish. Just running around looking out for number one.”

I’ve learned a few things this year.

We’re approaching the first full year since his passing and I still have moments of enormous sadness. I confess that I will sometimes close a door, turn the lights out and simply cry. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens at least once a month, usually during a time when I so desperately want to pick up the phone and call him. His number is still in my phone, even though I know the number – like him – is long gone.

The Pivot, sparked in large part, by his illness and subsequent death took a number of turns, detours and running through a few ditches. My entire career can be summed up in a phrase, “business leader.” Since I was in my mid-20’s I’ve lead businesses. Five years ago I stepped down, resigning my post as the leader of a company I had called home for almost 20 years. When you’ve done something for so long, it can be difficult to figure out, “Now what?”

Helping people.

Serving people.

Inspiring people.

Teaching people.

Leading people.

Impacting people.

Provoking thought.

Stirring emotions.

These were the things that had driven me since my youth. Stanley’s death prompted more emotions than anything in my life ever had. It was personal. It was heart stuff, not head stuff.

Heart stuff is the stuff of extraordinary leadership. And there it was. Staring me in the face as it never had quite before. I’m at my best when I’m investing in other people. I invest in myself most when I’m investing in others. I’m not being altruistic. I’m being true to who I really am. Being behind the scenes, lurking in the shadows with a timely word of advice or encouragement, sitting down privately to help somebody through some challenge, pushing – shoving – nudging others into the spotlight…those are the moments when I’m at my best.

Stanley and I had such a strong bond that I think we both assumed we’d have each other forever. Truth is, we hoped to have each other forever. If you don’t believe in forever, then I’m sad for you. Stanley and I both had faith that eternity is real. I still have that faith. For Stanley, his faith is now realized based on what we both believed to be true. Namely, we both believed the Bible.

Usually, we only had one objective when we were together. Laugh as much as possible. We were marksmen at hitting that target. We never missed a target. He died knowing our record was perfect. And as he lay dying I couldn’t even see the target any more. What once had always been so easy to hit was now impossible to even spot. I was learning the meaning of the term, “wrecked.”

For some guys who could be moody, blue and perhaps not always big fun to be around…together, we became two friends adept at the craft of volleying sarcastic remarks. We were equally accomplished at witty observations. Not everybody appreciated it. Some couldn’t keep up. We’d put in way more than 10,000 hours mastering the craft.

Lesson #1

Life is short. Make it count.

I already knew this, but Stanley’s passing just made it more real. I admit that it didn’t have much impact on my professional life. Not at first. I was mostly focused on my personal and spiritual life.

But since you’re likely here for professional or business type stuff, let’s apply it there.

If your career isn’t going as you’d like, then when are you going to do something about it? When are you going to stop making excuses?

I don’t care how old you are. I don’t care how young you are. Bob Geldof’s 25-year-old daughter, Peaches, died on Monday. Is that young enough for you? I know people who have buried babies. Mickey Rooney also died on Monday. He was 93. Is that old enough for you? Death is no respecter of persons.

You get to choose what you do with the time you’ve got. You’ve got RIGHT NOW. That’s all you’ve got.

What are going to do to make a positive difference RIGHT NOW? So many people haven’t yet determined to make a positive difference at any time. Too many of us are just doing time. Too many of us are living in an uncertain future. The common mantra of the masses is, “Tomorrow will be better.” No it won’t. Not if tomorrow never comes. And even if it does come, the odds are you’ll be just as lazy, indifferent and unprofitable tomorrow as you were today. And yesterday. And the day before that. Your history may not be an absolute predictor of your future. Even so, the odds are high that you’ll keep doing what you’ve always done.

So, make today count. Make up your mind – RIGHT NOW – that you’re going to take responsibility for your life, as much as is humanly possible. The things you can control are: your choices and your actions/behaviors. Embrace that. Own it.

Lesson #2

Come to grips with what you hate. Pursue what you love.

Professionally, I’ve done lots of things I didn’t much like. I’ve even done some things I hate. But in my 35 plus year career I’ve mostly loved leading and competing. Both of those are personal. Intimate even.

I love communicating. Watching people. Listening to people. Working with people.

I love problem solving. Watching a solution work, or fail. Then trying to figure it out again…or trying to find a better way.

I love questioning if we might find a better way. Asking, “What if…?” And answering the question based on whatever information is at hand.

I hate red tape. I hate having to ask for permission. I hate tyrannical leaders. I hate autocrats. I hate micro-managers. I hate stagnant thinkers. I hate pessimistic leaders who constantly bark, “That’ll never work.”

You can easily recognize what you hate. Write it down. Professionally, what do you absolutely hate? And what do you hate to do? I’m not promising you’ll be able to avoid every single thing you hate to do, but you sure don’t want to make that activity the bulk of your work.

It can be much tougher to figure out what you love. Write it down. Professionally, what you love so much you lose yourself in the activity? When you’re doing it, time flies by. When you’re doing it, you perform almost without thought. It almost seems innate. What is it? Think of it in terms of being the thing you’d like to do most of the time!

Lesson #3

Understand what you’re best at. And acknowledge what is hard for you.

We spend so much time chasing dreams that may never be realized…and we neglect to sit down and examine our lives as fully as we could. Or should.

I love chasing dreams. I think it can be healthy to a point. However, we can’t just sit around dreaming about things. Plans and strategies have to be constructed. Action has to be taken. Corrective action has to be taken. Problems have to be solved. Adversity has to be overcome.

Those are hard things to do. They’re harder when you’re chasing something you’re not very good at. Take the time to figure out what you’re naturally good at. Stop trying to be something (and somebody) you’re not.

Lesson #4

Be relentless. Let tenacity rule your life.

Face your fears and stomp them into the ground. That phone call you’re afraid to make…make it anyway. If there’s a chance you’ll find success by making that call, make that call. “But what if I fail?” Then you’ll fail. Not making the call is a sure fire way to fail. Take whatever actions you’re avoiding because you’re afraid. Do them anyway. Before long, taking action will be your habit and the fear will subside.

Be ruthless in your pursuits. Dogged persistence is the path to accomplishment.

This doesn’t mean you’re ruthless with people. Don’t be a jerk. Or insensitive. Or selfish, like a giraffe. Just be focused on what you’re trying to accomplish and find a way to get it done.

You haven’t accomplished what you want because you haven’t taken enough action – or you haven’t taken enough of the appropriate actions. Do more. Watch the results, then adjust your actions. Keep doing what you fear most because it’s the fear that’s defeating your dreams (and plans and strategies).

Lesson #5

Leave an impact. Create footprints, fingerprints and any other mark that will affect people.

If you want to chase money, go ahead. Not me. Sure, I want to make as much money as possible, but at my age it’s not about stuff. It’s about people. It’s about the things I’d like to do for my family and close friends.

Money is a tool. A vehicle to do meaningful things for people I love. My wife. My kids. My grandkids. In that order.

It’s a resource for good. The congregation where I work and worship. That’s a major driver for me. To contribute to something vastly bigger than me. And more important than me.

Making money isn’t the same as making a mark. I’m much more interested in making a mark. Specifically, professionally I want to make money by making a mark. Personally, I just want to make a mark.

That means making a difference in somebody’s life. It means being a friend, supporter, mentor, or “fill-in-the-blank” for people so they can’t imagine their life without me. Does that sound selfish? Maybe. But it’s honest. I want to live so people will miss me when I’m gone. That’s demanding and it challenges me every day to find ways to be valuable. Some days (maybe most days) I fail, but I’m still trying. I hope to become more accomplished with practice.

Lesson #6

Do something. Make a difference. Yes, you’ll make enemies, but you’ll also make some solid friends.

Stanley and I knew as teenagers this truth – “If you’re not willing to be hated by some, you’ll be loved by no one.”

Some people misunderstood our snarkiness. Others resented our friendship. We didn’t care. The people who were most attracted to us were the people we were most attracted to. That’s how it works. Birds of a feather and all that.

I prefer fewer really close friends over a vast number of casual friends. I know a lot of people. I’m close to very few. That’s intentional. It’s not snobbish, it’s just a preference. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about people, including casual friends.

Life isn’t infinite. Neither is my energy or emotion. If I’m going to be the most helpful I can be, then I have to watch where I invest myself. Professionally, I can invest in a broader audience because the scope of influence is narrowed. Personally, I have to restrain myself because I have extraordinary empathy – it’s just my wiring. I can’t temper how much I care and how much I get wrapped up in trying to help friends. Truth is, I have to make sure I’m not intruding and overstepping my bounds. Mostly, I think I stay inbounds, but not always.

I’m driven to make a difference and I’m perfectly willing to accept that some won’t like me for it. I remember having a conversation with my son when he was a teenager.

If you’re going to be a person of action, you’re going to be judged harshly by some.”

I taught both of my children to be people of decision and action. And I’ve always warned them that some people aren’t going to like it because some people will throw rocks at anybody who tries to make a difference. Throwing rocks at the action takers is a full-time hobby for some. You know you’re not taking enough action if you’re not making somebody angry with you. Focus on the friends you’re collecting along the way, not the enemies.

Conclusion

Okay, Stanley’s death didn’t teach me these things necessarily, but his passing did reinforce their importance to me. It’s hard to explain how one friend’s passing can compel such introspection. He was the one person – the only guy in my life – who I could talk to about anything. My wife is clearly my closest confident, but Stanley was my sole male sounding board.

He was sick most of the last year of his life so my loss was slow, then sudden. Even though our last conversations didn’t make much sense because his mind was quickly slipping away…there was something to the fact that I knew he was still here. Maybe I was hopeful (even though there wasn’t much hope, if any) things would get better. I knew they wouldn’t. I knew the inevitable. But I wasn’t wrecked until it happened.

Yes, I wallowed in sorrow for weeks, and months. Like a diver who has gone deep to the ocean’s floor, I knew it wouldn’t be safe to come up too quickly. My ascent back to normalcy took time. Slow and steady.

My best skills continue to be empathy, communication and problem-solving. Those have always been by 3 biggest assets. Stanley’s death refocused me to handle up better on that last one, problem solving. Over the past few years my skills to help others find solutions to their problems left me alone struggling to solve my own. Things would leap out at me whenever I helped others. I could search intently for answers to my own problems and be completed baffled how to even begin. It was a struggle that I suppose every person experiences at some point in life. I was just puzzled that I was experiencing it so late in my life.

This Friday would have been Stanley’s 57th birthday. In a few weeks I’ll be 57. It’s weird to think that I’ve reached an age beyond any age Stanley ever did. His death wrecked me, but his life impacted me like no other. That’s his legacy for me. I hope I had the same impact on him. And now, I’m hoping I have a similar impact on others.

P.S. I hope you stayed tuned to the podcast until the very end because I inserted a recording of Stanley sitting my living room playing my guitar and singing. It was on a Sunday afternoon, July 18, 2010.

215 – 6 Lessons I Learned In A Year Of Suffering (Reflections On Losing A Lifelong Friend) Read More »

214 – Maybe You Have An Undiagnosed Resistance To Self-Improvement

Leadership, Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 39:04 — 36.2MB)

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214 - Maybe You Have An Undiagnosed Resistance To Self-Improvement — Sometimes patients don’t agree with a proper diagnosis.

NOTE: Today’s show was recorded live on a Google Hangout On Air that I kept unlisted because it just a test run for me to see how that platform might work during a live podcast. I’m considering doing some live podcasting. I’m not happy with the sound quality, but realized (too late) that there are settings I can use inside Google to improve that. I’m keeping the video unlisted, but you can watch it here if you want.

I’m not a physician, but I am a doctor. Of sorts. I diagnose people and treat people all the time. For a variety of maladies.

Thankfully, none of my patients die. A few are terminal, but it’s strictly because they choose to be. Like any doctor, I hate to lose a patient. Even if it is to their own foolishness and refusal to change.

Executive coaching and business consulting are kind of like two sides of the same coin. Both are rooted in problem solving. Both are focused on accurate diagnosis and proper treatment. And both require one ingredient or the prescription will never work.

Willingness.”

Not my willingness. My willingness is always very high. Just read my Happiness Guarantee at the bottom of the Hire Me page. No, it’s the willingness of the patient, or better said, my client.

I wish I could tell you that every client I’ve ever had was gifted with an extraordinary amount of willingness, but they’re not. They may say they’re willing, but over time I can see their actions (or lack of) and see that they either don’t mean it, they’re deluded or they’re lying. It really doesn’t matter which it is because the net result is always the same. No improvement. No progress.

That’s when I typically diagnose them with a resistance to self-improvement. Some don’t agree with that assessment. Others, resist the diagnosis, proving they’re resistant to self-improvement and being diagnosed. Typically, I continue to work hard to help them past this ailment, but I’m not always successful. Some just can’t get past it. It’s become such a staunch way of life that some of them just don’t know how else to live. Eventually, I have to pull the metaphorical sheet up over their face and pronounce them dead to the prospect of ever conquering whatever constraints exist in their life. And we go our separate ways. It doesn’t happen often. Thankfully.

It’s a terrible, but necessary end because I’ve discovered through the years that the executive who raises through the ranks with undiagnosed resistance to self-improvement is most often incapable of change or improvement. Where there is a clear problem, they often refuse to see it. Like the Black Knight in Monty Python’s Holy Grail, they see a mortal wound as “just a flesh wound.”

Sometimes, it’s understandable.

I purposefully fictionalize case studies because all my work is confidential. I change names, industries and all sorts of things except the fundamentals of the story!

Jim (not his real name) is a 3rd generation owner of the business started by his grandfather. It’s a wholesale/distribution business with a solid reputation and a loyal client base. However, in recent years, there’s been some erosion of the customer base. And the customer complaints, which were once nil, have increased. Most of the complaints are centered around the apathy of the company to meet or exceed the expectations of the customer. Clients report a “sense of complacency.” They don’t feel as valued as they once did. It’s all very vexing to Jim who addresses every problem with brute force.

Jim is a dictator. He’s not your work-toward-consensus kind of a leader. He’s more of a prototypical my-way-or-the-highway kind of a guy.

Right away one issue becomes apparent. Success is going to be difficult to argue with. It always is. If a person has achieved success, even by being a tyrant, good luck affecting change or improvement. Even so, the process of trying pushes forward. I’m never one to give in too quickly.

Even a casual observer of the culture can quickly see this company never celebrates a victory. Ever. In fact, nobody ever does a good job. Jim is never satisfied with anything. Amazingly, he’s also never far from any decision, or would-be decision. I observe in my own personal notes to myself, “Second guesses everything and everybody.”

Out on the shop floor, during a management-by-wondering around (as Tom Peters called it), we encounter a young worker who didn’t appear to be out of his teens. The place was fairly frenetic at the time and his area wasn’t all that clean. I had noticed other areas that looked quite similar and they didn’t seem to provoke any wrath, but all of a sudden Jim was filled with rage. I don’t mean displeasure. I mean I-could-knock-you-out kind of rage. It was clear to me that the young man was doing all he could to keep up with the present distress of a hectic workload (turns out it was during their busiest time of the day). Jim began to upbraid the young man, telling him why his area was unacceptable. He ripped and snorted. This went on for quite awhile. I had retreated away from the immediate area, not standing my Jim’s side (as I had), for fear of causing the young man further embarrassment. Even from 10 paces behind, every word was clearly heard.

Finally, it was over. I held my peace. We kept walking around and finally migrated back to the offices. When we sat down Jim asked me what I thought and as is often my custom, I reversed field on him by asking him what he thought. Specifically, I wanted to know what he thought the problem was. “Why are customers unhappy and why are some leaving?”

Because I’ve got too many people who just don’t give a $#@!”

That prompted a conversation about employees who don’t understand what it is to own a business. You likely know that conversation. Lots of business leaders and most business owners have engaged in that kind of talk for as long as I can remember. It’s funny, but after all these years my response is still the same. “Well, they’re not owners,” I said. “They’re employees. But that doesn’t mean they don’t care. I mean, you can hardly expect a teenage worker who is making $10 an hour to understand what you know. How old is he? 18? 19?”

“I think he’s 19,” Jim said.

“Tell me about you at 19?” I asked.

Little did I know that I was opening a can of worms I’d rather have not opened. Too late. For the next 40 minutes I heard about his overbearing mother and never around dad. Now, executive coaching is always part therapy. It just is. Ask anybody who coaches business people and they’ll all tell you it is. Well, if it’s done right it is. And these cans of worms that we sometimes open inadvertently can serve to give us big insight. Sometimes they even provide an epiphany.

Over time the diagnosis was evident to me. Micro-managing every little thing, and going off on random things inconsistently (why dog pile the teenage worker about his area, but not the others whose areas appeared to be similar disarray?) had robbed people of initiative. It had grown worse by all accounts of insiders. Jim’s frustration had increased under the pressure of business growth. Eventually, the success was causing an implosion. Fact was, the very thing that had helped fuel success to a point…had now reached a place of diminishing returns. Now, it was a problem. Like laundry detergent, more isn’t always better. Sometimes you can get too much and destroy your entire laundry room.

I’d like to tell you things really turned around, but they didn’t. For a long time I tried. We were able to repair some things, improve others and stem the blood flow in yet others. But, overall, the basic foundations of culture never changed because Jim refused to accept responsibility for stymying the performance of his people. These people were afraid to move. They were trained to accept that everything they did would be wrong. So, it was just easier to do nothing, or do as little as was necessary — when it came to owning a problem, taking responsibility and trying to fix a problem. Jim was right, they weren’t behaving like owners because he had robbed them of any sense of ownership or pride in their work.

The story isn’t all that rare because this is not a rare disease. Delusion, self-deception, refusal to accept responsibility are all common in many organizations. It’s Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. People only know what they know. But what if what you know is wrong? What if you’ve just got a perspective that isn’t accurate?

I commonly challenge myself and clients to simply consider the possibility…

What if you’re wrong?”

I ask it of myself almost daily. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying that it’s necessary if we’re going to improve or make progress. Especially if we’re leaders!

Back in the 1980’s I began to ask managers who reported to me, “Are you asking your people to improve their performance?” Every manager would answer in the affirmative. “Then why,” I reasoned, “don’t you give more time and attention to your own improvement?”

After all these years of leading, coaching and mentoring you’d think I’d have figured out why some people resist self-improvement, but I’m as stumped as ever these days. Oh, I know part of it is the blame game. Part of it is a person’s unwillingness to admit wrong. Part of it is an arrogant belief that we’re the most important person in the world. But the one that bugs me the most is the flat out refusal to even consider that YOU might be both the problem and the solution. Without fail, I have urged leaders to accept responsibility for the problems because that means they can also be the SOLUTION. I’ve considered that a powerful pitch, but I’ve learned there’s not a pitch strong enough to persuade the unwilling unbeliever. They seem to have a built-in resistance that just can’t be overcome.

Or can it?

Oh, I think it can. But sometimes it requires a drastic event to create enough self-examination. We all tend to change whenever something big enough happens to compel us to consider options. We eat fast food, bust our gut at every meal, never exercise and refuse to live differently until — a heart attack stops us in our tracks. After bypass heart surgery we may begin to think differently. Only then, might we consider the error of our ways.

It shouldn’t take a business or organizational heart attack to get us to look more closely at our habits and behaviors.

Realize there is no harm in considering the possibility that there might be a better way. Embrace the notion that just because things have been “this way” for a long time doesn’t mean it has to always be that way.
Learn and embrace empathy. Consider that sometimes people aren’t performing well because nobody has helped them. Maybe nobody taught them any differently.
Focus on what you can do to help your people improve. What can you teach them? What can you show them? Educate first.
“Reprimand first” won’t work if people don’t understand. You can’t correct a pet, a child or an employee if they don’t understand what they’ve done wrong — and how to do it right.
Be patient. You didn’t get it right the first time. Stop expecting everybody else to. Some may. Most won’t.
Don’t blame yourself, but take responsibility to fix the situation.
Realize the impact you have. For good or bad. Ignore people because you’re preoccupied and they’ll think you’re mad at them. Make some thoughtless off the cuff comment and you may send an employee on a 3-day spree to fix a problem that isn’t a problem. They just took a cue from your comment as a signal that they’d better do something differently.
Remember, it’s unfair to expect people to improve, fix what ails them or elevate their performance if you’re unwilling to do it yourself. You’re a leader. So lead.
Invest in yourself. If you want better results, then you’ve got to focus on the process.

As a leader, you’ve got to show others the way when it comes to the most important ingredient in high performance. Willingness.

214 – Maybe You Have An Undiagnosed Resistance To Self-Improvement Read More »