Podcast

215 – 6 Lessons I Learned In A Year Of Suffering (Reflections On Losing A Lifelong Friend)

Randy, Lexie (Randy's sister), Joni (Stan's sister) and Stanley in Ada, OK
Randy, Lexie (Randy’s sister), Joni (Stan’s sister) and Stanley in Ada, OK

Stanley was born on April 11, 1957. He left this life on May 12, 2013. On the day of his death I published this post and podcast. It was the most painful post and podcast I’ve ever produced. No, it has nothing to do with business, management, leadership or building an organization/business. It’s intensely personal. So, if such things are off-putting to you, then avoid it. But if you want to know more about who and what I really am, then you may find it valuable. I’ll let you judge.

This Friday would have been his 57th birthday. I think of him every day. Every single day.

Modern marketing gurus regurgitate the ancient maxim, “People are all listening to the radio station, WIIFM – What’s In It For Me. Don’t talk about yourself. Talk about your prospect.” While that may be fundamentally true, it presupposes that we’re all morons roaming around devoid of interest in others, repelled by notions of compassion or empathy and behaving like Barney Fife once described giraffes to Opie.

Boy, giraffes are selfish. Just running around looking out for number one.”

I’ve learned a few things this year.

We’re approaching the first full year since his passing and I still have moments of enormous sadness. I confess that I will sometimes close a door, turn the lights out and simply cry. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens at least once a month, usually during a time when I so desperately want to pick up the phone and call him. His number is still in my phone, even though I know the number – like him – is long gone.

The Pivot, sparked in large part, by his illness and subsequent death took a number of turns, detours and running through a few ditches. My entire career can be summed up in a phrase, “business leader.” Since I was in my mid-20’s I’ve lead businesses. Five years ago I stepped down, resigning my post as the leader of a company I had called home for almost 20 years. When you’ve done something for so long, it can be difficult to figure out, “Now what?”

Helping people.

Serving people.

Inspiring people.

Teaching people.

Leading people.

Impacting people.

Provoking thought.

Stirring emotions. 

These were the things that had driven me since my youth. Stanley’s death prompted more emotions than anything in my life ever had. It was personal. It was heart stuff, not head stuff.

Heart stuff is the stuff of extraordinary leadership. And there it was. Staring me in the face as it never had quite before. I’m at my best when I’m investing in other people. I invest in myself most when I’m investing in others. I’m not being altruistic. I’m being true to who I really am. Being behind the scenes, lurking in the shadows with a timely word of advice or encouragement, sitting down privately to help somebody through some challenge, pushing – shoving – nudging others into the spotlight…those are the moments when I’m at my best.

Stanley and I had such a strong bond that I think we both assumed we’d have each other forever. Truth is, we hoped to have each other forever. If you don’t believe in forever, then I’m sad for you. Stanley and I both had faith that eternity is real. I still have that faith. For Stanley, his faith is now realized based on what we both believed to be true. Namely, we both believed the Bible.

Usually, we only had one objective when we were together. Laugh as much as possible. We were marksmen at hitting that target. We never missed a target. He died knowing our record was perfect. And as he lay dying I couldn’t even see the target any more. What once had always been so easy to hit was now impossible to even spot. I was learning the meaning of the term, “wrecked.”

For some guys who could be moody, blue and perhaps not always big fun to be around…together, we became two friends adept at the craft of volleying sarcastic remarks. We were equally accomplished at witty observations. Not everybody appreciated it. Some couldn’t keep up. We’d put in way more than 10,000 hours mastering the craft.

Lesson #1

Life is short. Make it count.

I already knew this, but Stanley’s passing just made it more real. I admit that it didn’t have much impact on my professional life. Not at first. I was mostly focused on my personal and spiritual life.

But since you’re likely here for professional or business type stuff, let’s apply it there.

If your career isn’t going as you’d like, then when are you going to do something about it? When are you going to stop making excuses?

I don’t care how old you are. I don’t care how young you are. Bob Geldof’s 25-year-old daughter, Peaches, died on Monday. Is that young enough for you? I know people who have buried babies. Mickey Rooney also died on Monday. He was 93. Is that old enough for you? Death is no respecter of persons.

You get to choose what you do with the time you’ve got. You’ve got RIGHT NOW. That’s all you’ve got.

What are going to do to make a positive difference RIGHT NOW? So many people haven’t yet determined to make a positive difference at any time. Too many of us are just doing time. Too many of us are living in an uncertain future. The common mantra of the masses is, “Tomorrow will be better.” No it won’t. Not if tomorrow never comes. And even if it does come, the odds are you’ll be just as lazy, indifferent and unprofitable tomorrow as you were today. And yesterday. And the day before that. Your history may not be an absolute predictor of your future. Even so, the odds are high that you’ll keep doing what you’ve always done.

So, make today count. Make up your mind – RIGHT NOW – that you’re going to take responsibility for your life, as much as is humanly possible. The things you can control are: your choices and your actions/behaviors. Embrace that. Own it.

Lesson #2

Come to grips with what you hate. Pursue what you love.

Professionally, I’ve done lots of things I didn’t much like. I’ve even done some things I hate. But in my 35 plus year career I’ve mostly loved leading and competing. Both of those are personal. Intimate even.

I love communicating. Watching people. Listening to people. Working with people.

I love problem solving. Watching a solution work, or fail. Then trying to figure it out again…or trying to find a better way.

I love questioning if we might find a better way. Asking, “What if…?” And answering the question based on whatever information is at hand.

I hate red tape. I hate having to ask for permission. I hate tyrannical leaders. I hate autocrats. I hate micro-managers. I hate stagnant thinkers. I hate pessimistic leaders who constantly bark, “That’ll never work.”

You can easily recognize what you hate. Write it down. Professionally, what do you absolutely hate? And what do you hate to do? I’m not promising you’ll be able to avoid every single thing you hate to do, but you sure don’t want to make that activity the bulk of your work.

It can be much tougher to figure out what you love. Write it down. Professionally, what you love so much you lose yourself in the activity? When you’re doing it, time flies by. When you’re doing it, you perform almost without thought. It almost seems innate. What is it? Think of it in terms of being the thing you’d like to do most of the time!

Lesson #3

Understand what you’re best at. And acknowledge what is hard for you.

We spend so much time chasing dreams that may never be realized…and we neglect to sit down and examine our lives as fully as we could. Or should.

I love chasing dreams. I think it can be healthy to a point. However, we can’t just sit around dreaming about things. Plans and strategies have to be constructed. Action has to be taken. Corrective action has to be taken. Problems have to be solved. Adversity has to be overcome.

Those are hard things to do. They’re harder when you’re chasing something you’re not very good at. Take the time to figure out what you’re naturally good at. Stop trying to be something (and somebody) you’re not.

Lesson #4

Be relentless. Let tenacity rule your life.

Face your fears and stomp them into the ground. That phone call you’re afraid to make…make it anyway. If there’s a chance you’ll find success by making that call, make that call. “But what if I fail?” Then you’ll fail. Not making the call is a sure fire way to fail. Take whatever actions you’re avoiding because you’re afraid. Do them anyway. Before long, taking action will be your habit and the fear will subside.

Be ruthless in your pursuits. Dogged persistence is the path to accomplishment.

This doesn’t mean you’re ruthless with people. Don’t be a jerk. Or insensitive. Or selfish, like a giraffe. Just be focused on what you’re trying to accomplish and find a way to get it done.

You haven’t accomplished what you want because you haven’t taken enough action – or you haven’t taken enough of the appropriate actions. Do more. Watch the results, then adjust your actions. Keep doing what you fear most because it’s the fear that’s defeating your dreams (and plans and strategies).

Lesson #5

Leave an impact. Create footprints, fingerprints and any other mark that will affect people.

If you want to chase money, go ahead. Not me. Sure, I want to make as much money as possible, but at my age it’s not about stuff. It’s about people. It’s about the things I’d like to do for my family and close friends.

Money is a tool. A vehicle to do meaningful things for people I love. My wife. My kids. My grandkids. In that order.

It’s a resource for good. The congregation where I work and worship. That’s a major driver for me. To contribute to something vastly bigger than me. And more important than me.

Making money isn’t the same as making a mark. I’m much more interested in making a mark. Specifically, professionally I want to make money by making a mark. Personally, I just want to make a mark.

That means making a difference in somebody’s life. It means being a friend, supporter, mentor, or “fill-in-the-blank” for people so they can’t imagine their life without me. Does that sound selfish? Maybe. But it’s honest. I want to live so people will miss me when I’m gone. That’s demanding and it challenges me every day to find ways to be valuable. Some days (maybe most days) I fail, but I’m still trying. I hope to become more accomplished with practice.

Lesson #6

Do something. Make a difference. Yes, you’ll make enemies, but you’ll also make some solid friends.

Stanley and I knew as teenagers this truth – “If you’re not willing to be hated by some, you’ll be loved by no one.”

Some people misunderstood our snarkiness. Others resented our friendship. We didn’t care. The people who were most attracted to us were the people we were most attracted to. That’s how it works. Birds of a feather and all that.

I prefer fewer really close friends over a vast number of casual friends. I know a lot of people. I’m close to very few. That’s intentional. It’s not snobbish, it’s just a preference. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about people, including casual friends.

Life isn’t infinite. Neither is my energy or emotion. If I’m going to be the most helpful I can be, then I have to watch where I invest myself. Professionally, I can invest in a broader audience because the scope of influence is narrowed. Personally, I have to restrain myself because I have extraordinary empathy – it’s just my wiring. I can’t temper how much I care and how much I get wrapped up in trying to help friends. Truth is, I have to make sure I’m not intruding and overstepping my bounds. Mostly, I think I stay inbounds, but not always.

I’m driven to make a difference and I’m perfectly willing to accept that some won’t like me for it. I remember having a conversation with my son when he was a teenager.

If you’re going to be a person of action, you’re going to be judged harshly by some.”

I taught both of my children to be people of decision and action. And I’ve always warned them that some people aren’t going to like it because some people will throw rocks at anybody who tries to make a difference. Throwing rocks at the action takers is a full-time hobby for some. You know you’re not taking enough action if you’re not making somebody angry with you. Focus on the friends you’re collecting along the way, not the enemies.

Conclusion

Okay, Stanley’s death didn’t teach me these things necessarily, but his passing did reinforce their importance to me. It’s hard to explain how one friend’s passing can compel such introspection. He was the one person – the only guy in my life – who I could talk to about anything. My wife is clearly my closest confident, but Stanley was my sole male sounding board.

He was sick most of the last year of his life so my loss was slow, then sudden. Even though our last conversations didn’t make much sense because his mind was quickly slipping away…there was something to the fact that I knew he was still here. Maybe I was hopeful (even though there wasn’t much hope, if any) things would get better. I knew they wouldn’t. I knew the inevitable. But I wasn’t wrecked until it happened.

Yes, I wallowed in sorrow for weeks, and months. Like a diver who has gone deep to the ocean’s floor, I knew it wouldn’t be safe to come up too quickly. My ascent back to normalcy took time. Slow and steady.

My best skills continue to be empathy, communication and problem-solving. Those have always been by 3 biggest assets. Stanley’s death refocused me to handle up better on that last one, problem solving. Over the past few years my skills to help others find solutions to their problems left me alone struggling to solve my own. Things would leap out at me whenever I helped others. I could search intently for answers to my own problems and be completed baffled how to even begin. It was a struggle that I suppose every person experiences at some point in life. I was just puzzled that I was experiencing it so late in my life.

This Friday would have been Stanley’s 57th birthday. In a few weeks I’ll be 57. It’s weird to think that I’ve reached an age beyond any age Stanley ever did. His death wrecked me, but his life impacted me like no other. That’s his legacy for me. I hope I had the same impact on him. And now, I’m hoping I have a similar impact on others.

Randy

P.S. I hope you stayed tuned to the podcast until the very end because I inserted a recording of Stanley sitting my living room playing my guitar and singing. It was on a Sunday afternoon, July 18, 2010. 

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214 – Maybe You Have An Undiagnosed Resistance To Self-Improvement

214 - Maybe You Have An Undiagnosed Resistance To Self-Improvement
Sometimes patients don’t agree with a proper diagnosis.

NOTE: Today’s show was recorded live on a Google Hangout On Air that I kept unlisted because it just a test run for me to see how that platform might work during a live podcast. I’m considering doing some live podcasting. I’m not happy with the sound quality, but realized (too late) that there are settings I can use inside Google to improve that. I’m keeping the video unlisted, but you can watch it here if you want.

I’m not a physician, but I am a doctor. Of sorts. I diagnose people and treat people all the time. For a variety of maladies.

Thankfully, none of my patients die. A few are terminal, but it’s strictly because they choose to be. Like any doctor, I hate to lose a patient. Even if it is to their own foolishness and refusal to change.

Executive coaching and business consulting are kind of like two sides of the same coin. Both are rooted in problem solving. Both are focused on accurate diagnosis and proper treatment. And both require one ingredient or the prescription will never work.

Willingness.”

Not my willingness. My willingness is always very high. Just read my Happiness Guarantee at the bottom of the Hire Me page. No, it’s the willingness of the patient, or better said, my client.

I wish I could tell you that every client I’ve ever had was gifted with an extraordinary amount of willingness, but they’re not. They may say they’re willing, but over time I can see their actions (or lack of) and see that they either don’t mean it, they’re deluded or they’re lying. It really doesn’t matter which it is because the net result is always the same. No improvement. No progress.

That’s when I typically diagnose them with a resistance to self-improvement. Some don’t agree with that assessment. Others, resist the diagnosis, proving they’re resistant to self-improvement and being diagnosed. Typically, I continue to work hard to help them past this ailment, but I’m not always successful. Some just can’t get past it. It’s become such a staunch way of life that some of them just don’t know how else to live. Eventually, I have to pull the metaphorical sheet up over their face and pronounce them dead to the prospect of ever conquering whatever constraints exist in their life. And we go our separate ways. It doesn’t happen often. Thankfully.

It’s a terrible, but necessary end because I’ve discovered through the years that the executive who raises through the ranks with undiagnosed resistance to self-improvement is most often incapable of change or improvement. Where there is a clear problem, they often refuse to see it. Like the Black Knight in Monty Python’s Holy Grail, they see a mortal wound as “just a flesh wound.”

Sometimes, it’s understandable.

I purposefully fictionalize case studies because all my work is confidential. I change names, industries and all sorts of things except the fundamentals of the story!

Jim (not his real name) is a 3rd generation owner of the business started by his grandfather. It’s a wholesale/distribution business with a solid reputation and a loyal client base. However, in recent years, there’s been some erosion of the customer base. And the customer complaints, which were once nil, have increased. Most of the complaints are centered around the apathy of the company to meet or exceed the expectations of the customer. Clients report a “sense of complacency.” They don’t feel as valued as they once did. It’s all very vexing to Jim who addresses every problem with brute force.

Jim is a dictator. He’s not your work-toward-consensus kind of a leader. He’s more of a prototypical my-way-or-the-highway kind of a guy.

Right away one issue becomes apparent. Success is going to be difficult to argue with. It always is. If a person has achieved success, even by being a tyrant, good luck affecting change or improvement. Even so, the process of trying pushes forward. I’m never one to give in too quickly.

Even a casual observer of the culture can quickly see this company never celebrates a victory. Ever. In fact, nobody ever does a good job. Jim is never satisfied with anything. Amazingly, he’s also never far from any decision, or would-be decision. I observe in my own personal notes to myself, “Second guesses everything and everybody.”

Out on the shop floor, during a management-by-wondering around (as Tom Peters called it), we encounter a young worker who didn’t appear to be out of his teens. The place was fairly frenetic at the time and his area wasn’t all that clean. I had noticed other areas that looked quite similar and they didn’t seem to provoke any wrath, but all of a sudden Jim was filled with rage. I don’t mean displeasure. I mean I-could-knock-you-out kind of rage. It was clear to me that the young man was doing all he could to keep up with the present distress of a hectic workload (turns out it was during their busiest time of the day). Jim began to upbraid the young man, telling him why his area was unacceptable. He ripped and snorted. This went on for quite awhile. I had retreated away from the immediate area, not standing my Jim’s side (as I had), for fear of causing the young man further embarrassment. Even from 10 paces behind, every word was clearly heard.

Finally, it was over. I held my peace. We kept walking around and finally migrated back to the offices. When we sat down Jim asked me what I thought and as is often my custom, I reversed field on him by asking him what he thought. Specifically, I wanted to know what he thought the problem was. “Why are customers unhappy and why are some leaving?”

Because I’ve got too many people who just don’t give a $#@!”

That prompted a conversation about employees who don’t understand what it is to own a business. You likely know that conversation. Lots of business leaders and most business owners have engaged in that kind of talk for as long as I can remember. It’s funny, but after all these years my response is still the same. “Well, they’re not owners,” I said. “They’re employees. But that doesn’t mean they don’t care. I mean, you can hardly expect a teenage worker who is making $10 an hour to understand what you know. How old is he? 18? 19?”

“I think he’s 19,” Jim said.

“Tell me about you at 19?” I asked.

Little did I know that I was opening a can of worms I’d rather have not opened. Too late. For the next 40 minutes I heard about his overbearing mother and never around dad. Now, executive coaching is always part therapy. It just is. Ask anybody who coaches business people and they’ll all tell you it is. Well, if it’s done right it is. And these cans of worms that we sometimes open inadvertently can serve to give us big insight. Sometimes they even provide an epiphany.

Over time the diagnosis was evident to me. Micro-managing every little thing, and going off on random things inconsistently (why dog pile the teenage worker about his area, but not the others whose areas appeared to be similar disarray?) had robbed people of initiative. It had grown worse by all accounts of insiders. Jim’s frustration had increased under the pressure of business growth. Eventually, the success was causing an implosion. Fact was, the very thing that had helped fuel success to a point…had now reached a place of diminishing returns. Now, it was a problem. Like laundry detergent, more isn’t always better. Sometimes you can get too much and destroy your entire laundry room.

I’d like to tell you things really turned around, but they didn’t. For a long time I tried. We were able to repair some things, improve others and stem the blood flow in yet others. But, overall, the basic foundations of culture never changed because Jim refused to accept responsibility for stymying the performance of his people. These people were afraid to move. They were trained to accept that everything they did would be wrong. So, it was just easier to do nothing, or do as little as was necessary — when it came to owning a problem, taking responsibility and trying to fix a problem. Jim was right, they weren’t behaving like owners because he had robbed them of any sense of ownership or pride in their work.

The story isn’t all that rare because this is not a rare disease. Delusion, self-deception, refusal to accept responsibility are all common in many organizations. It’s Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. People only know what they know. But what if what you know is wrong? What if you’ve just got a perspective that isn’t accurate?

I commonly challenge myself and clients to simply consider the possibility…

What if you’re wrong?”

I ask it of myself almost daily. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying that it’s necessary if we’re going to improve or make progress. Especially if we’re leaders!

Back in the 1980’s I began to ask managers who reported to me, “Are you asking your people to improve their performance?” Every manager would answer in the affirmative. “Then why,” I reasoned, “don’t you give more time and attention to your own improvement?”

After all these years of leading, coaching and mentoring you’d think I’d have figured out why some people resist self-improvement, but I’m as stumped as ever these days. Oh, I know part of it is the blame game. Part of it is a person’s unwillingness to admit wrong. Part of it is an arrogant belief that we’re the most important person in the world. But the one that bugs me the most is the flat out refusal to even consider that YOU might be both the problem and the solution. Without fail, I have urged leaders to accept responsibility for the problems because that means they can also be the SOLUTION. I’ve considered that a powerful pitch, but I’ve learned there’s not a pitch strong enough to persuade the unwilling unbeliever. They seem to have a built-in resistance that just can’t be overcome.

Or can it?

Oh, I think it can. But sometimes it requires a drastic event to create enough self-examination. We all tend to change whenever something big enough happens to compel us to consider options. We eat fast food, bust our gut at every meal, never exercise and refuse to live differently until — a heart attack stops us in our tracks. After bypass heart surgery we may begin to think differently. Only then, might we consider the error of our ways.

It shouldn’t take a business or organizational heart attack to get us to look more closely at our habits and behaviors.

  • Realize there is no harm in considering the possibility that there might be a better way. Embrace the notion that just because things have been “this way” for a long time doesn’t mean it has to always be that way.
  • Learn and embrace empathy. Consider that sometimes people aren’t performing well because nobody has helped them. Maybe nobody taught them any differently.
  • Focus on what you can do to help your people improve. What can you teach them? What can you show them? Educate first.
  • “Reprimand first” won’t work if people don’t understand. You can’t correct a pet, a child or an employee if they don’t understand what they’ve done wrong — and how to do it right.
  • Be patient. You didn’t get it right the first time. Stop expecting everybody else to. Some may. Most won’t.
  • Don’t blame yourself, but take responsibility to fix the situation.
  • Realize the impact you have. For good or bad. Ignore people because you’re preoccupied and they’ll think you’re mad at them. Make some thoughtless off the cuff comment and you may send an employee on a 3-day spree to fix a problem that isn’t a problem. They just took a cue from your comment as a signal that they’d better do something differently.
  • Remember, it’s unfair to expect people to improve, fix what ails them or elevate their performance if you’re unwilling to do it yourself. You’re a leader. So lead.
  • Invest in yourself. If you want better results, then you’ve got to focus on the process.

As a leader, you’ve got to show others the way when it comes to the most important ingredient in high performance. Willingness.

Randy

 

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213 – Free Form Friday, March 28, 2014

Locked-Doors-Of-Opportunity
Chains and locks won’t stop us from opening doors of opportunity. Will they?

Well, here we are. It’s the last Friday of March. Due to my sickness I missed the last Friday of February. But thankfully, March brings with it another opportunity. Another chance to riff on about whatever I’d like.

Here’s a few of the points of today’s Free Form Friday – they’re mostly questions I’m asking YOU. I’d love to have your feedback. Email me at SupportBulaNetwork [at] gmail [dot] com.

  • Is there a market for online executive coaching in the form of a membership site? By executive coaching I mean coaching aimed at anybody who has direct reports. People who manage the work of other people, regardless of their title, are candidates for what most call “executive” coaching.
  • What do you think the subject matter should be? Think big or broad, then narrow it down. For example, if I think about communication (a broad category), there are many more narrow areas like peer-to-peer, staff meetings, one-on-one with direct reports, written (including email and texting) and group presentations.
  • If the platform included video, audio and text (PDF’s perhaps), how small should the content be broken down? In other words, should a single video/audio be no more than 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes…how long should each piece of content be? A topic that might require 2 hours of instruction could be broken up into as many smaller sessions as needed. Twenty-four (24) five minute sessions might be a little much, but a dozen ten-minute sessions might be okay. What do you think?
  • Would it be more powerful if it had an interactive component with me? For example, what if it were a relatively inexpensive monthly subscription (say, something under $50), but then supplemented with a closed webinar with me each month for a slightly higher price (still under $100 though). Is that a dumb idea? What are your thoughts?
  • I’m talking about comprehensive, action-oriented content designed to help people really move the needle in their ability to become more effective leaders and managers. I’m also talking about including areas that deal with selling, persuasion and marketing. I’d want this to be delivered in a logical sequence so people could make progress and not feel like they’ve got a fire hose aimed at them. I’m not talking about a once-then-I’m-done affair. I’d want to continue to add and update the material while addressing the concerns of the members. How much should something like this cost if I wanted to make it extremely high value, but I wanted to make sure the people who enrolled where serious about taking action?
  • Should it be strictly monthly with no annual opportunity, or should I offer a reduced annual rate?
  • My philosophy with all my work is to have customers think or say, “This is worth so much more than what I’m paying.” I’m a guy who has no problem leaving money on the table IF the result is a remarkable experience for the customer/client. I want to dazzle people. I don’t want to merely satisfy them. And that necessarily means I’m aware of managing the expectations with a price point. If you’re going to charge me lots of money each month, I’m going to ratchet up my expectation. If you’re going to ding my credit card a lower amount, I’m going to lower my expectation. My objective would be to err on the side of BLOWING AWAY a reasonable expectation. I’m also aware of retention rates of subscribers. It wouldn’t help me to have a high churn rate (the rate at which subscribers leave and I have to go find new replacements).
  • How valuable would an affiliate program be…for members only? I wouldn’t want to entertain an affiliate program for the open public. I’d only want people who are subscribers themselves to have that opportunity. What would be a fair affiliate commission?
  • Do you have any other ideas for me?

The door of opportunity often looks just like that picture. Closed. Chained. Locked. And intimidating.

Do you think this may be a door of opportunity for me?

Let me bribe you to share you thoughts with me. Email me your feedback using the subject line “MEMBERSHIP SITE” and include your Skype ID in the email. I’ll contact you and we’ll schedule a 15-minute Skype call so you can ask me anything you’d like. I’ll do my best to give you at least one great idea to help move forward.

Thanks for your help. Have a great weekend.

Randy

 

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212 – Climbing Up The Corporate Food Chain: “You’re Either A Money-Maker Or A Killer!”

Kurt Sutter's Outlaw Empires
Kurt Sutter’s Outlaw Empires

Kurt Sutter is the guy behind “Sons of Anarchy.” Back in 2012 he did a documentary on the Aryan Brotherhood for the Discovery Channel series, Outlaw Empires.

The Aryan Brotherhood was born in the 1960’s and grew from a prison system based band of criminals to one of the most feared groups in history. One person in the documentary, John  (one of the founders) revealed how the group finally realized they needed a more structured leadership. By the 1980’s they had established a 3-man commission. He was one of the commissioners. An articulate man imprisoned for life, he said, “There’s only two ways to get to the top. You either earn your way or kill your way. You’re either a money-maker or a killer.”

Don’t go thinking I know my way around climbing to the top of a criminal organization. I have no firsthand knowledge or experience. I have seen The Godfather and plenty of documentaries on organized crime so I understand the basic concepts.

In season 1 of Vikings (a History Channel TV series that is now in season 2), the main character, Ragnar Lothbrok, engaged in a one-on-one battle with Earl Haraldson, the local chieftain. The victor would be acknowledged by the society as the ruler. Ragnar killed Earl Haraldson and instantly became the chieftain. Survival of the fittest and all that.

In the business sector it’s not terribly different, except it’s less literal and more metaphorical. Power, fear and authority in the corporate setting often stem from a person’s ability to do you harm. Hopefully, no literal blood is shed. It’s bad enough to have a career that hemorrhages to death. At least you can go find another one and start over though. If you get shanked in prison and die…or if you battle to the death with a subordinate who wants your kingdom, let’s just say your opportunities for redemption are dead, too.

As for the money-maker or the earner, we all appreciate the person who can get us things we can’t otherwise find. From Radar on MASH who could work magic to get the supplies lacking at the 4077, to the rainmaker who brings in new clients to the law firm – and all the countless examples in between – we all have learned the value of the person who can bring in business or increase the assets. They become indispensable to the organization. They may become indispensable to us, too.

Money-Maker or Killer: Which One Are You?

Don’t confuse money making with just sales. It’s not merely about revenue generation. It’s about being valuable and other people seeing your value. It’s also why killing your way to the top works so well. It gains you instant visibility. And notoriety. Doing good work tends to keep you off the radar like a referee in a game who does a great job. You can become invisible if you report to work daily and do a good job. You can’t remain anonymous if you’re terrorizing people.

Now I don’t have to tell you that if you’ve got enough cold water in your veins to instill fear among your cohorts, you’re eventually going to encounter somebody whose blood runs even colder. Then what will you do? Or you may go after the wrong person, at the wrong time and find yourself lying in a pool of your own blood. Ruthlessness is a hard road to follow in getting ahead, but history is filled with success stories.

But there’s another kind of killer in the business world, the person capable of besting the competition. We tend to focus merely on people inside the company who get ahead at the expense of their peers. That’s a crummy way to go. Instead, it’s possible to add value to your organization because you have an ability to defeat the competition, or contribute heavily toward that cause.

Money makers and killers. It’s two completely different personalities, skill sets and inclinations. But both can achieve success others only dream of.

What if you’re neither of these? What if you’re not resourceful in bringing value and you’re not a killer either? Well, kiss your butt good-bye. You’ve got to add value somewhere, somehow. Then, you’ve got to be visible enough to gain proper recognition. Else…you’ll wind up like the millions who suffer daily with the frustration of feeling under-appreciated.

Some tips discussed in today’s podcast:

  • You have to identify and faithfully serve your number one customer. It’s not who you think it is.
  • You have to be able to see problems and solutions.
  • You have to be able to clearly communicate your ideas, and sell them.
  • You must believe in yourself and your ideas. It’s a confidence you must cultivate.
  • You can’t be bashful, but you can’t be overbearing either. You have to know when/where to pick your spots.
  • You must forge helpful alliances. Successful people don’t go it alone.
  • Visibility is key. You have to help others see your value else it will go unnoticed.
  • Your value is often determined by what others value, not what you value.
  • Life is not fair, but you can improve your odds by being capable, smart, confident and visible.
  • Gripe guts and malcontents won’t rise to the top and if they do, they won’t stay there long. Don’t join them. Avoid them.
  • Promote other people. Climb the ladder with colleagues. You need their help. Besides, it broadens your scope of influence.
  • It’s a marathon with countless sprints built in along the way. Be prepared to break away from the pack in an instant. You never know when your opportunity will come.
  • Do not let it go to your head. Keep your head on a swivel and stay on top of your game. Keep building value in your career.
  • Success is never final. Be prepared to suffer a setback.
  • Failure isn’t final either. Well, it doesn’t have to be. Be resilient. Bounce back. Be a fighter!

Randy

212 – Climbing Up The Corporate Food Chain: “You’re Either A Money-Maker Or A Killer!” Read More »

210 – 3 Keys To Create Big, Audacious, Hairy Goals (Why There’s Nothing Wrong With Using Pencils)

It’s time to take aim. No time like the present and all that. Wait a minute, it’s already February…far too late to plan for 2014, right? Not necessarily.

I’m a compulsive planner. It goes with writing things down. One jot here triggers another thought…there. Before you know it I’ve filled a notebook full of gibberish. Well, okay – it’s not all gibberish. Some of it might be worth keeping. No matter. I keep it all anyway. Somewhere.

Don’t mistake me as a person not given to action. Truth is, in spite of my willingness (and fondness) for planning – I’m ridiculously proactive. It’s a hazard of growing up in fast moving businesses I guess. Back in the 80’s remember telling a rather slow moving colleague that I could make three decisions for every one he made. My argument – made long before anybody had thought of the whole LEAN startup movement – was simple. By the time he made his first decision I was on my third, which meant I had course corrected twice already. That put me way ahead of the game. I’ve worked that way for as long as I can remember.

I chronicle. I make notes. I record things. It’s a lifelong habit. Yes, some of it appears to be gibberish…and maybe it is. But…

Some of it ends up in a plan. More like an idea with plan potential. Why I do it this way will become more clear as I go through my little 3 item list. Why a list? Because everybody tells me, “People love lists.” And I read blog posts where the authors talk about the most positive feedback they get are when they write short lists of things. Nuff said. Don’t have to hit me over the head with it. Done.

There’s nothing wrong with using pencils. Fact is, ink is usually found in 3 colors: black, blue and red. Pencils? Well, I can get a pack of many colors. Cheap. People think pens show commitment (I.E. do a crossword puzzle in pen and it shows you’re confident). No, it shows you might be arrogant and pompous. Nuts, even. Pencils represent creative planning. Pencils show you’re committed to adapt, adjust and hone your creativity. So I urge you to embrace the notion of pencil thinking. Be creative!

Here’s my list of 3 things that may (I reiterate the term, “may”) help you create your big audacious hairy goals for next year. I’m snarky, but I’m also serious about these things. Consider them carefully. Please.

1. Go bigger.

“Go big or go home!” I don’t know about you, but I like home. So, that’s not much of a battle cry for me. I will confess something to you though. When I was young, dreaming big – planning big – was easier. I suspect school and adults beat it out of me, or tried. That’s how the world works. We like people who are like us. Dream too big, we’ll beat you down until you’re just like us – thinking small.

Big, audacious and hairy are not terms for rinky-dink goals or plans. Those are terms that conjure up gigantic, awesome aims.

“Oh, but you’ll just be disappointed,” exclaims the realist. Maybe. Maybe not. But for now, I don’t care about that. I care about what goes on in your head. The reason I care about that is because I know that’s where reality starts. In your head.

Living in my head has always come easily. Make believe. Imagination. I don’t have to concentrate much to create even brief moments where I can transport myself in thoughts of what I’d like to make happen. Visualization is what most would call it. Sometimes it might border on hallucination, at least in the mind of critics. That never bothered me.

I used to think everybody did it – visualized (not hallucinated). In fact, I was convinced everybody did it. I don’t remember when it dawned on me that it might not be so common after all. I was grown. That much I remember. Books should have been a clue. There were plenty of books and chapters written on visualizing. I need lots of instruction about a lot of things, but not this. Where was I?

Oh, yeah – thinking big. Aiming high.

It helps if you can see it in your mind. I’m not sure it’s even possible to think bigger if you can’t see the end first. Is it? I wouldn’t know how.

Here’s what I know to be true – we can all benefit from thinking bigger. Consider reaching higher. Consider achieving more. Consider being better. Forget those phrases meant to convince us that the difference between success and failure is razor thin. You know the ones. “Fractionally better.” “Marginally improved.”

Now, go thinking I don’t understand and appreciate the fact that we can be incrementally better and make a BIG difference in the results. I do believe that. In fact, I know it. But when it comes to thinking bigger, aiming higher and trying to be remarkable I don’t think we’re served by hanging on to the notion that if we’ll just be 2% better, then our success is assured. It’s a fool’s gold.

Be bold. Don’t hold back. Unleash the beast between your ears and dream big. Then plan even bigger!

I’m always working on a plan. A business idea. In fact, I’ve got one goal or plan that has been in the works for over 2 years. To be fair, it’s been in the pondering stage for about 2 years. It started out in the dream stage for about six months. It’s been in the more serious planning stage for about 90 days. It’s big. Seven figures big to start. Eight figures big to maturity. And I don’t expect maturity to take a decade. It may, but that’s not my vision.

Here’s my most compelling argument for thinking bigger. I don’t know of a single benefit of thinking smaller. Unless of course you consider smaller results, smaller accomplishments and smaller achievements being a benefit.

2. Be vivid.

Your mind, it’s your biggest tool. Your most powerful weapon. That visualization is important. What’s more – you need to make it as detailed as possible. Every little nuance is important.

Give it lots of time. I don’t mean that you take your sweet time coming up with thoughts. I mean, you give yourself to dwelling on your big goal. Think of it often. Camp out on the idea. Roll it over. Keep rolling it over. Go to bed thinking about it. Wake up in the morning thinking about it.

Imagine the finest details. Embrace them.

Part of being vivid is devoting sufficient time to the mental exercise of seeing the reality of the idea. The longer you hold onto the idea, the more powerful it can become. And the more clarity you’ll experience.

By the way, it’s perfectly fine to adjust the idea. That’s part of the benefit of being vivid. Refine it as you go. Think of it as writing your own story. The characters grow as you write the idea in your mind. They mature. They become more fully developed. So too does the action they take. Enjoy working through all these creative elements.

3. Act. React. Adjust.

Bold ideas require bold action. They even deserve it. Why have a bold idea if you’re not willing to put it out there?

All that thinking should spur you to take action, but not just any action. You have to take action that is congruent with your idea. You’ll likely have thoughts about who and what. Don’t shy away from either. Pursue. Vigorously pursue. Pursue people who can help. Pursue actions that can make the dream come to life. What you do will make the difference in a dream being imaginary or real. Do nothing = imagination is all you’ll have. Do something meaningful, repeatedly = that imagine you first created in your mind becomes reality.

Be ridiculously happy if your images all come to pass. More likely, you’ll find you have to make a few adjustments. For instance, I’ve had things like pricing all worked out in my mind. All of a sudden, I’ve been forced to realize – I was way off. Sometimes way too low. No problem. Adjust. Adapt your vision to the new realities facing you – and your dream.

Keep doing it. Push. Pursue. Adjust. Adapt. Keep working it out in your mind, but keep taking actions. Even small actions can progress you forward. But never avoid taking big steps, or reaching out to big people who can help.

Bonus tip: Don’t fall in love with one single bold idea. If you do you might become paralyzed from thinking of new ones. Form the habit of thinking of big, bold ideas and goals. The more ideas you create, the more easily you’ll create even bigger ones. Sounds ridiculously obvious, but it escapes many people. Don’t be shocked if one big bold idea doesn’t work out. You don’t want to be a one and done kind of a person. Keep creating more big, audacious and hairy goals. In idea creation, more is better!

Ready, aim, fire. Or, as Mr. Masterson of Agora and ETR fame is fond of saying, “Ready, Fire, Aim.” By the way, it’s a good book, too.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from William Hutchinson Murray, but often attributed to Germany’s answer to Shakespeare, Goethe (nope, he didn’t write it)…

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Now, go to it.

Randy

P.S. Did it ever dawn on you that bigger targets are easier to hit?

210 – 3 Keys To Create Big, Audacious, Hairy Goals (Why There’s Nothing Wrong With Using Pencils) Read More »

209 – 5 Steps To Fix Your Business Problems

209 - 5 Ways To Get Freedom From Your Own Business (Help, I've started a business and now I've got a job!)
Help, I’ve started a business and I’ve got problems.

For many, it’s the American Dream to start your own business. Okay, if you’re in Europe, Asia, Australia or other countries besides the USA, maybe it’s your dream, too.

Sadly, for too many the dream turns into a nightmare from which there seems no escape. The HELP WANTED sign may not indicate the need for an employee, but rather the need to break free.

Carol Roth and a few others have written about the need for people to think soberly about what they want before embarking on a chase that may not ideally suit them. I agree with Ms. Roth that entrepreneurship isn’t always the best dream for everybody. The failure rate continues to be extremely high. According to Statistic Brain the rate of failure among startups increases over time. You’d think over time a business owner would become more accomplished and break through to that wild, crazy success we all hear about and dream of.

Yes, it can happen. But are the odds favorable? No, they’re not. And of course, I am speaking in general terms. Every industry is different. Markets are different. Timing and skill play major roles, too. With all those moving parts, success is far from guaranteed.

It’s ironic that many people start their own business because they don’t want to work for somebody else. Unfortunately, they wind up working for far more people than they’ve ever worked for before. Maybe now they work for the credit card company where they’ve racked up lots of debt, and the friends or family members who have loaned them money, or a bank. And then there are the customers who demand more and more. Maybe they’ve got partners who also have expectations and demands. The list keeps growing and over time they realize that life on the J.O.B. with one boss was far simpler.

Others, hoping to craft work that more rewarding than their old job, find their checking account dwindling, savings exhausted and income dropping lower and lower. Trapped, they despair about what to do.

What can you do if your business isn’t what you dreamed? What can you do to fix your own small business? No, I’m not going to start by telling you to shut it down. That’s an option and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it, but that’s one of the 5 things I want to talk about today. And I’m not going to tell you it’s cowardly to quit. It’s a viable option that every frustrated business owner must carefully consider, but our goal today is to help you find solutions to fix your business.

5 Steps To Fix Your Business Problems

 1. Triage yourself and the business.

I’m not talking about going back to exam why you started your business or any other mumbo jumbo touchy-feely thing. No, that ship sailed. Now it’s time to take a hard look at what’s wrong.

Where is the pain? What’s the source of the suffering?

Is it not enough revenue? Or profits?

Is it no life outside the business?

Is it delivery to customers or the execution of whatever service/products you provide?

Think about the trifecta of business building that serves as my focus here at Bula Network: a) getting new customers, b) serving existing customers better and c) not going crazy in the process. In my experience of triaging businesses, I often find 2 of these are in play when the owner’s misery factor is sky high. What about you?

You can’t fix what ails you until you first properly diagnose the problem. And don’t get ahead of yourself. I’ve seen people try to fix problems that weren’t really the problem. This is not the time for knee-jerk reactions. Come to think of it…is there ever a good time for the knee-jerk reaction (except when the doctor is testing your reflexes)?

Give this some sober and serious thought. Bring your team together, if you’ve got one. If you don’t, bring together the people who help you in your business. Collaborate on the problems as you see them. Do others see what you see? Feel what you feel? Is this problem just specific to you? It may be IF it deals mostly with the fact that you never see your family.

Focus on THE problem. Don’t scatter shoot and list 12 problems. Think about THE PROBLEM. Narrow it down to the one thing that is causing the most pain.

If you go the ER with life threatening injuries, the doctors aren’t going to worry too much about your headache. First, they have to save your life. They’ll worry about the lesser problems later. You have to do the same thing when you triage your business problems.

Part of triage is determining the severity of the problem. Is it life-threatening or mildly aggravating? Just because it’s not life-threatening doesn’t mean it’s not urgent or important, but it does mean you can likely take a bit more time to examine it. You’ve got to have a clear understanding of the nature of the problem before you can ever hope to find a remedy.

2. Find the root of the problem.

Now that you’ve identified the problem, you have to get to the source. When the ER patient is bleeding profusely, the doctors know the problem is excessive bleeding. Well, that’s not enough information to fix the problem. It’s great to have identified the problem, but that won’t fix it. You’ve got to find out why this is happening. What’s really going on here?

Depending on the nature of the problem this can be quickly identified or it can be tough as nails. Our ER patient may have suffered a stabbing. Pretty obvious problem. But what if the bleeding is internal? No outward signs of injury. Much tougher. It’s gonna take some time to find the problem if the bleeding is internal.

So it is with your business woes. Maybe it’s something very obvious like a lack of sales (i.e. bleeding), but why? That may not be so obvious. Is it pricing? Is it your offer? Is your quality or lack of quality? Is it marketing? Is it your positioning? Why aren’t people buying? You’ll have to spend hours and days mulling over that one. There’s no time like the present. Start mulling.

Maybe it’s something else, equally obvious. You’re working 100 hours a week and your family is a mess. Why are you working 100 hours? This problem is far more common than you may think. And the reasons vary wildly. I’ve encountered business people who declared how miserable they were working 100 hours a week, but on closer examination they’re facing the reality that they do it because they want to. Yes, they’re miserable, but in some cases, they’re more miserable at home. They’ve conned themselves into thinking the business is wrecking their family, but they’re just using the business as an excuse. They’re wrecking their family because they’re more in love with their business than their family.

You’ve got to see the real problem and not just the perceived problem. This is why you likely need help to identify the real problem. Seek the wise counsel of people familiar with the situation. Listen. Really listen. Think about it. You can’t fix it until you get to the source so this step can’t allow any shortcuts. Dig until you find the real reason you feel trapped.

3. Act now, but consider multiple remedies before deciding on the best long-term fix.

If a person is bleeding we use any method possible to stop the bleeding. Pressure. That’s the main goal early on. Apply pressure and stop the bleeding.

It’s life saving, but it’s not a remedy. It’s just an urgent act necessary in the moment. It buys time so a more permanent fix can be performed.

That’s how you’ve got to view your business problem. In step 1 (triage) you’ve determined if your problem is life threatening to you or your enterprise.

Cash flow is a frequent problem I encounter. Few things are as urgent as a lack of cash flow. Your business needs cash. Every business does. When it runs out, or runs low, panic can overrun you. A short-term fix might be to sell some things to create some quick cash. That’s immediate pressure on the wound, but it won’t fix the problem for long.

What must be done right now so you can buy some time? Focus first on that. Then, as quickly as you must, exam the various fixes you might perform. Almost every solution has an upside and a downside. Again, I’m going to encourage you to avoid going it alone. Seek the input of others. Yes, you’re the leader so the final decision is in your lap, but don’t be stupid thinking you alone have to solve this. Weigh your choices before settling on the one you think is best. And that means you need to pick one and commit to it. Whole-heartedly.

4. If it’s not working, change it. If it is working, keep doing it.

Pay attention to the symptoms. Look for improvement. Also be watchful for a lack of improvement. You’re the doctor and the health of your business is your responsibility. Don’t take your eye off the patient.

Just because you’ve gone all in on the best long-term fix doesn’t mean you have to remain all in if new information changes your mind. For instance, a business suffering a cash crunch quickly sells off some excessive inventory at a reduced margin. They’ve bought themselves a month or two. Great. Now they huddle about how to avoid getting into this pickle again. Three suggestions are on the table and the owner selects the one he thinks is best. Two weeks in, it’s clear that this strategy isn’t going to work. It’s time to abandon that strategy (or change it). He can’t be reluctant to alter the course when the strategy appears to be failing.

Don’t fall in love with a single solution. Be willing to change based on the outcome. You need a good outcome. You need to find a remedy. It’s either working or it’s not working. Or maybe it’s not working well enough. Then be fearless to try something else. Remember, you’re looking for the best long-term fix possible. That may require a few changes in medication. Do it.

If it works well, then keep doing it. Keep putting the fix on trial for its life.

5. Change the behavior (actions) that caused the problem.

That stabbing victim that came in the ER is a gang member. He’s living a high risk life. He’s gonna get stabbed again if he doesn’t make some big changes in his life. It’s just a matter of time.

Your business is no different. The problem that trapped you can be fixed, but that doesn’t mean it’ll stay fixed. If the crisis is averted, great — but your work is not done.

Maybe your life has gone to you-know-where-in-a-hand-basket. You endured the crisis and managed to get some “balance” back into your life. Unless you have made some lifestyle changes that problem is sure to creep in again. Don’t assume your work is over simply because the crisis is over.

A bad sales process can create poor sales, resulting in poor cash flow, low revenues and low profits. In a moment of crisis, a few big sales might be generated out of sheer willpower and determination, leaving the poor sales process in place. But, with the crisis ended the company can resume business as usual. In time, they’ll be right back where they started…and what if they can’t make a few big sales this time?

The remedy needs to be a longer term fix, but now you’ve got take the time to investigate what went wrong so you can get busy making the bigger changes necessary to provide growth and efficiency for your business (and your life).

Do you need somebody to give you an outside perspective and candid feedback? Email me: Results [at] BulaNetwork [dot] com

Randy

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