March 2017

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The fast path to the truth is your employees. It’s something that every business owner must understand.

Leaders who don’t roam around their company are wasting their most valuable asset – people. Grow Great is all about higher human performance. Namely, YOURS. By extension, your people…all the employees who do the work!

Jeffrey Gitomer is known for saying that people can say one of three things about you: something bad, nothing or something good. And it’s up to you what they say!

The question about your leadership is, “What are people saying about you?” That’s your leadership legacy.

It’s not what you hope they say. It’s not what you think they say. It’s what’s actually being said.

Not troll-like lies. Not the people who have no clue about who you really are. It’s about the people who know you well. And those who know you better than most. It’s about family, friends, employees, customers, peers and partners. What do they say?

You say some things to yourself. Maybe it’s inner critic stuff. Maybe it’s high praise. I’m thinking of the people I’ve met through the years who talk in 3rd person and use terms like “brilliant” and “genius” to describe themselves and their work. Talk about awkward and tough conversations. But some people can roll that way I guess. Most of us lean more toward inner critic I suspect.

Even the most self-aware among us have a perspective that isn’t likely shared by those who know us best. This can be really hard stuff to dig up because people have filters. Political correctness. Politeness. Fear. It all hampers candid conversation directly to your face. Unless you’ve got a Kosmo Kramer in your life.

Candor

Jack Welch was the first business leader I heard openly talk about it. I loved him for it because I had long thought it was high under-valued. I was in my early-mid 20’s and I didn’t hear anybody talk about it except Jack. I had always embraced it professionally, and as much as practical personally. But I’m a communicator who openly joked with my kids that they had a dad who wasn’t likely going to die having left very much unsaid. Verbal expression isn’t hard for me. Maybe that’s why I so admired Mr. Welch. Not just his words, but his candid actions, too.

It’s difficult for most. To say what they really mean. To mean what they really say. All this beating around the bush. All this business jargon.

You won’t likely remember him, but you should go to a used bookstore (likely the only place you’ll now find his work) and buy books by Edwin Newman. He was a journalist who worked mostly for NBC. He was fanatical about the use of language, namely our own English language. In 1974 he published a book, Strictly Speaking: Will America be the Death of English? Then in 1976 he published another one, A Civil Tongue. Both are worth reading and will provoke you to re-think how you say things.

Which leads me back to our main focus – what people say about YOU. More precisely, what people say prompted by how they feel about you. It’s about the behaviors, actions and words that people use as a basis of judgment.

Maybe we’ve never met, but you have some sense of me by listening to the podcast. Maybe you like me. Maybe you don’t. How I view myself – or hear myself – is of no consequence when it comes to how YOU judge me. Except that my own views spur me to behave, act and speak in certain ways. You may think the podcast is an utter waste of time. Is that my leadership legacy with you? Yep. And as a podcaster I’m okay with it because I know I’m not for everybody any more than everybody is for me. Is your opinion valid? Completely. For you. But the good news for me is that you don’t get to determine how everybody else may feel about me. You can jump on social media and try to rally others to hate me because you hate me. Or you can embrace your own hatred and just leave it at that. That’s the world we’re in today. Sharing opinions is the game. I don’t resist it. Rather, I embrace it knowing that people willing to judge based solely on the assessment of a hater aren’t likely going to be my cup of tea either. So I figure we all win in the end.

But you may enjoy my work and find what I say congruent with your point of view. You may think leaders should be the #1 servant in the company. You may think their primary role is to get all the crap out of the way of their people so the work can be performed better. You may like that fact that I speak and breath at the same time, purposefully building in meaningful pauses for the words/ideas to be more deeply processed. And if you do, then we’re much more likely to be kindred spirits with more in common. That’s a win for both of us, just like with the haters. Except unlike the haters, you and I can keep building on this and forge a closer relationship.

Feelings. Opinions. Judgments.

Yes, that’s what we’re talking about. Hopefully most people are operating with candor as they privately assess us. I like to think so.

That doesn’t mean they’re communicating with candor as they assess us. That’s the disconnect. Thinking or feeling one way, but saying something different.

When a leader can get an honest appraisal from people of how they truly feel about him, then you’ve got some real data that can be used to move you forward. But only if you handle it properly.

I can illustrate with some close friendships I’ve had over my lifetime. I lean naturally toward being an introvert. Not backward, just preferring to spend time alone, with one person, or with a very small group. Given the choice between a big ballroom full of people or an intimate chat with just one other person — I’m picking the intimate chat 100% of the time. I get much more energy from deeper conversations with a few than a litany of shallow conversations with many.

As a result I’ve had some very close, deeply personal relationships with a handful of people outside my family. I can probably list them on one hand, proving how rare these kind of relationships are. And proving how valuable they are, too.

Some years ago I reached out to them, along with a few other people. I was searching for the answer to the question, “What do you think of when you think of me?”

Keep in mind these are close friends. Friends who know how I roll with candor. Friends who had proven their own ability to exercise candor with me. Only 1 responded. The others just left well enough alone. I’m not indicting any of them. I’m only illustrating how hard this is to flesh out…even among friends.

Here’s the good news for business owners. With employees, it’s easier. I know because I do it regularly.

When employees know (not just when they feel it, but when they genuinely know) that’s it safe to share, they will. As I roam around an organization and engage in conversations about what’s going on, what can be improved, what’s broken and all the other pressing things on people’s minds…I can quickly find out how people view the boss. And I can always take that feedback back to the boss in a completely anonymous way (which is the ONLY way I would ever do it).

A picture begins to develop when you gather the perspectives of enough people throughout an organization. An accurate picture. Sort of like those gymnastic or diving judges in Olympic competition, if you throw out the highest score and the lowest score…you begin to get a good idea of reality. In every company there’s the naysayer who thinks the boss is a moron, incapable of tying his own shoes. No matter what the boss does, this person is going to be critical. Throw out the low score. Then there’s the rah-rah-I-love-the-boss employee who fawns all over the boss and wouldn’t be caught dead thinking or saying anything remotely negative. Toss out the high score. Now there’s everybody in between. That’s the current legacy of the leader! It’s what those people are saying.

I preach a few fundamental messages in my work. Among them, “The quality of our questions determines the quality of our business.” I find out stuff because I ask. Then I shut up and listen.

Throughout the years I’ve encountered business owners who have a different course of behavior. They think as long as they’re talking, they’re leading. While I use the art of the pause, they don’t dare use it for fear somebody else will start talking. Their employees notice. How could you not?

“We can’t ever express a concern because we can’t get a word in edgewise.”

“It wouldn’t matter if we spoke up. He only hears himself anyway.”

Does this leader want that legacy? Does it matter what he wants? Sure it does…because he can change it based on the feedback. Some do. Most don’t. Which saddens me. That so many leaders could be building a great legacy of serving their people and their company by acting in ways that would foster a positive change in what people – their own employees – say about them.

Sadly, Steve Jobs is the business hero for too many people. A jerk of the highest order who belittled people and railed on them. But people covet his success forgetting what might have been if he’d been a better human being. Forgetting the possibility that success might have been achieved more quickly and risen higher had he learned the power of collaboration, cooperation and serving others who were part of it all. I’m not romantic about such people. For me, it’s not the results as much as the unrealized potential. Because I fundamentally believe that great leadership isn’t tyranny or autocratic lunacy. Because I believe great leadership elevates the performance of people, which in turn elevates the performance of the company. And the business owner – YOU – are the Chief Leader.

Doing Something

First, get honest feedback. Don’t focus on yourself. Don’t ask people, “How do you feel about me?” Instead, I’m going to push you to spend 10 minutes a week with your employees one-on-one. For some of you, that means you’ll be able to sit down with every single employee every week. That’s a blessing. To operate a business where you can still do that is terrific. Seize that opportunity starting this week. Get those meetings scheduled right now!

For some of you it’ll mean you can only meet a portion of your employee base each week. That’s okay. Squeeze in as many as you can, but do it every single week. And when you’ve gotten around to all of them, start over and repeat.

Here’s your question, “What can I help you with?”

Probe to find out what their frustrations and roadblocks are. Make it all about them, not you.

Listen carefully. Not just for what they say, but for how they say it.

A word of warning. At first they’ll be hesitant. You’ll have to convince them it’s a completely safe environment. Nobody should be in the room. Just you and this employee. Nobody else. Assure them that you’re interesting in helping every employee get around, over or through whatever constraints may stand in their way of higher performance. Reiterate that you’re there to serve them.

Ask your question, then shut up and listen. Ask clarifying questions to make sure you properly understand.

Be careful to make knee-jerk promises. Don’t offer platitudes, “Well, we’ll look into that.” But reassure them that you want to dig deeper into this for the best solution possible. “Thanks for being bold enough to bring that to my attention. Would it be okay if as I dig into this for me to circle back around to you if I need more information?” Make them part of the solution, not merely a person who is alerting you to a problem.

Second, act on everything your employees bring to you. Nothing will kill morale more quickly than not being heard. And that means I told you, but you didn’t do anything with it.

Even if the action is small make sure the employee knowns you’re doing something. It signals to the employee that the meeting was worthwhile because you heard them. It also tells them you’re remembering it enough to do something…even if doing something is looking into it. Remember to be candid. Tell it like it is. Don’t fluff it. But don’t minimize it either. The problem may seem insignificant to you – and perhaps it truly is – but the employee brought it up. It has some top-of-mind importance to them. Part of your task may be to find out why…especially if there are obvious things that should be far more important to the employee.

Third, be helpful by giving advice to the employee. Imagine how you’d feel if the owner summoned you to find out what your problems were, then listened as you told him…but then ended the conversation by telling you how you could be better/get a promotion/move to a more desired department/etc.?

Here’s how you can do it. After the “What can I help you with?” question is discussed, end with, “How can I help you personally with your goals here?” Make this question about them and their career advancement. Make sure they know that’s the context. You want to help them achieve whatever they can. You’re here to make them better by serving them individually.

Again, embrace candor. Be honest with them. This isn’t an HR meeting where you’re correcting poor behavior or performance. This is human conversation where as the mentor (the business owner) you can give them life advice on what they can do, from your perspective to enhance their value while achieving what’s most important to them. Keep in mind that their goals are going to be individual. Don’t push against that. Some want to buy a new car while others want to pay off the old one. Some want to start a family while others want to prepare for their grandkids. Some want a vacation to some distant place they’ve never been before while others want to install a swimming pool. Whatever they want is whatever they want. You want to help them achieve that as much as it’s possible within the context of the company.

Three simple things that are hard. But powerful.

Three simple powerful things that will change your leadership legacy forever. Only if you do it. And keep doing it.

In time, you’ll begin to learn some things about yourself that will make you better. Practice these things and you’ll become better. Quickly. That’s what I want for YOU.

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 34:57 — 32.5MB)

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For the last 7 years or so things have been mostly good for business. Generally, things have been on a solid roll since the crash of 2008. If you believe in the economic cycles – and I do because there’s historical precedent – then we’re due for a hum dinger of a downturn.

Wait for it. Within the next year or so many more people are going to be fighting to survive. You could be batting to survive right now, bracing for an uncertain future.

You know what my lifelong frustration has been in operating businesses?

Contentment. Complacency. Satisfaction.

A conversation with a business owner worried about the future sparks today’s show.

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Today’s show mentions:

• Jim Collison’s TheAverageGuy.tv

• Meet or exceed the market demands or pay the price. Your choice.

• You need to be practical as an employer.

• Your employees have practical needs, too.

• Don’t step over dollars to pick up nickels. And if you do, don’t complain about the results. You reap what you sow.

• We can all make a bad deal…a deal we regret. Avoid it.

• Give your employees a story of where they fit, how they fit and why they make a positive difference.

• Don’t give them a story and they’ll craft one of their own. And it will be bad. Guaranteed.

• People want to come to work each day and leave each day knowing their story relative to the company’s performance.

• Employees crave feedback.

• Celebrate more. Genuine celebrations…not fake, rah-rah stuff.

• Your silence is deafening to your work force.

• People will work hard for recognition.

• Do you want better people? Then step up and pay like it.

• Make sure everybody knows how they personally make a difference.

• Let your employees arrive each day and leave each day not knowing that…and you’ll retain your disengaged work force.

• Employee engagement surveys contribute to disengage your employees!

• Only the employee engagement consulting company wins with an employee engagement survey.

• If you want to send a signal to your employees that they matter…it begins with your practical offers. Pay them what they’re worth.

• Leadership makes all the difference! Great leadership improves revenues and profits. And culture!

• People make the difference. That’s why Grow Great is about higher human performance. Namely, yours. And your people!

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Week 3 was a week I knew would happen…other things leaped to the forefront. This happens when you’ve got ongoing work and you’re now working to add a service, or in my case, you’re really working toward morphing your consulting/coaching practice. Business owners have long likened it to operating on a moving patient, working on a moving train…or pick your favorite metaphor. Point being, things don’t stop so you can do whatever you aim to do. It’s called juggling.

When you start something new or different you’re sure to suffer it. Not a distraction…hopefully you can avoid those. Mostly, I think we’re responsible for our own distractions. It’s different when you’ve got work that pulls you away from it. You just have to manage it.

Let’s start with the bad news. I got very little done this week with the Alliance. I had planned to engage in more phone conversations. I wound up having none.

I did manage to connect with quite a few new people, which is always step 1 toward having a conversation. But nearly all my work this week was directed in completely other areas.

Here’s the good news. This week’s efforts wound up being work that can likely accelerate finding just the right 7 business owners to be in this group.

Week 3 was a success because serendipity happens.

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Business takes courage. You’ve got that.

Courage is not the absence of fear because you’ve got that, too.

Courage and fear can occupy our minds at the same time. Mostly, that’s exactly what’s happening with us. We’re confident about some things. Fearful about other things.

It’s not static. Courage and confidence can shift faster than the speed of light. So can fear. I often prove it to people with a simple, but powerful exercise. A universal truth that we’ve all experienced (or one that we continue to experience).

What caller ID could show up in your cell phone that would immediately fill you with dread?

What caller ID could show up in your cell phone that would immediately fill you with joy?

We have lots of words that are synonymous with fear and courage. For some fear isn’t shake-in-your-boots kind of stuff. It’s more akin to dread, or sadness. Maybe it’s worry and anxiety. It could be as deeply powerful as despair. Likewise for courage. It’s confidence, joy, peace or a sense of being comfortable.

The point is, these are opposing feelings and emotions. Right now, you’re holding both emotions simultaneously. There are things in your life right now that are comfortable. There are other things that are completely uncomfortable. It’s the ying and yang of running a business.

You’ve heard it. The human brain is the world’s best computer.

No, it’s not. Computers don’t care. Input the data and you get a result. The computer only calculates the results based on whatever code or parameters are entered.

People care.

Some people fear entering the game. Fully.

They spend hours reading books, taking courses, crafting a plan, thinking about it. Fearful of actually entering the fray. But always planning to do it.

Remain on the sidelines and you’ll benefit nobody. Including yourself. And your family.

Put yourself out there. Take a chance. Risk failure. And in doing so, select the people – the specific people – you’d like to bless today. Give them the opportunity to be served by you.

Or not.

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:40 — 35.0MB)

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A few podcasts ago – on another show I produce – I commented that I felt like I needed to hold my brain upside down, like an Etch A Sketch®. After you’ve created something on an Etch A Sketch® you may want to create something completely different. Easy. Just turn it upside down with the screen facing the floor and shake it. The Magic Screen is now wiped clean giving you a “canvas” to create whatever you want.

Six years ago I started diving more deeply into my own head. I know, dangerous stuff, right?

Since I was a teen I’d read books about self-image, inner conflict, cognitive dissonance and other things that might help me better understand human behavior. Mainly my own.

Most recently my investigation was sparked by all the linearity I saw online. People acting and saying how they structured their lives, their ambitions. Dream achievement is very large topic online. It seemed like lots of people had figured out something that I was rather certain couldn’t be figured out.

Being the contrarian that I am, my objective was to prove that we’re subject to buying into lies (at worst), misconceptions (in the middle ground) or delusional ignorance (at best). And it’s all mostly about US. These are our lies, our misconceptions and our delusional ignorance.

Back in the late 70’s I remembering reading about how we create our story in our mind. Instantly it resonated with me, but it made me wonder. Is that right? Is that true?

When I was in junior high I was given a school project. Go interview some adult doing for a living what you want to do. I wanted to be a cartoonist. I wasn’t in Los Angeles or New York City. I didn’t know any cartoonists who lived in my town. There wasn’t any Internet so we had to find a local person doing what we wanted to do. Turns out the local newspaper had an on staff cartoonist who mostly did political cartoons and some advertising illustrations. I called him up, asked if I could come interview him and he graciously agreed. My mom took me to see him. He was very gracious and told me stories of going to art school, claiming he had gone to art school with Charles Schultz, creator of Peanuts. “He wasn’t the best artist, but he understood people,” he told me.

I went home and laid in bed that night thinking, “I really don’t know anybody doing what I want to do.” Here I had just talked with somebody doing cartooning professionally, but I didn’t want to draw advertising illustrations or political stuff. My reality – in my head – was that I didn’t live where one had to live to succeed at cartooning. Or writing (another youthful goal). Perspective in my head trashed me. And I knew as a junior high student how powerful it was – and how damaging it could be – to craft some story in your head that may not be true. Turns out it wasn’t a true story, but it was the story I was telling myself. And I bought it. Because I wrote it. It was my story. I’ve never forgotten it.

Fast forward a number of decades. Over the years I’ve learned that “our story” is mostly like the movie Matrix – perception. Our perception.

Enter the Age Of The Data Freak

Metrics. KPIs. Analytics. Measurements.

Hard evidence means truthful evidence. Not fake evidence. Lying with stats is an ancient art. People pay attention to the wrong things. And sometimes connect dots that aren’t connected. And I’m a dot connector so I see it.

We’re relying more and more on data and less and less on common sense. Stupidity is ruling our lives because we’re not thinking clearly. We need to turn our mind upside down and shake it. Clear it all out.

Reboot.

Sometimes data is useless because people aren’t computers. They don’t always behave predictably. Other times they behave too predictably. Sometimes they get scared. For no reason.

We analyze. And over analyze.

We dissect. Then put it under the microscope.

We evaluate. Then spend time reviewing our evaluations.

We turn an idea over. Eight ways to Sunday. Then we go back and do it again.

For what?

Looking for magic, that’s what. Looking for an easier path that doesn’t exist. Looking to replicate somebody’s success — that if we had it…wouldn’t be what we wanted to begin with. Because we’re not them.

We think the data will show us the way because we think the path to success is dynamic. Because we’re now living in an era dominated by the Internet we think new tactics and strategies are in play. Strategies that we don’t understand, and haven’t yet learned. Some we chase every pidedpiper who comes along claiming to know what we feel we don’t. Lots of chasing. Not much catching.

Success.

Mostly catching frustration. Anxiety. Increased fear.

Success Isn’t A Datapoint

It’s a process. Hard work. Time consuming. It always has been with rare exceptions of freakish oddities who catch lightning in a bottle.

Sylvia Duckworth did a terrific graphic depiction of what success really looks like. Follow her on Twitter.

The iceberg illusion is real. The height of our success may be disproportionately lower than the depth of our hidden efforts. Or maybe higher. Or maybe equal. That’s the impossible part to predict. Or fully control. It’s all the work below the water line that we can control. And that’s where the magic happens!

I’ve long been puzzled by people who don’t want to show that below the waterline activity until they’ve broken the surface of success. Then, they’ll tell you how awful things were. How they lived in their car for 2 years. Or how they incurred 6 figures of credit card debt. Or how they gained 125 pounds. Why not share that stuff in real-time? Because until you’re successful you don’t feel comfortable sharing it? Why not? What do you care about how other people view you?

This is just some of why we need to clear the screen of our mind.

Our mind can get it wrong. And you do know, don’t you, that YOU are the biggest hurdle to your success?

The most famous Pogo cartoon was “We have met the enemy and he is us” in 1971. It resonated with us because deep down we know it’s true.

We think things. We believe things. They drive us. Or prevent us.

Mostly, it’s US. Our brains creating realities that aren’t real…except we make them real.

Plan for success. Craft your strategy. Or not. I’m urging NOT.

Instead, it’s one-step at a time. It’s the next step. Then it’s adjust. Then, the next step! Then more adjustments. And keep going until you sense traction, or a loss of it.

Do more of what works. Do less of what doesn’t work. 

With a screen filled with clutter you can’t clearly see or know what’s what. That’s why you need to shake that screen and clear it.

Working on yourself will be the hardest work you ever do. It doesn’t matter who you are. It’ll always be hard. But worthwhile.

Busy-ness prevents us from doing it. Some people enjoy remaining distracted so they can avoid that work. They con themselves into thinking it’s something else. It’s not them. It’s circumstance. Environment. Their job. Their spouse. Their parents. It’s something. Somebody. Some place. But it’s not them.

Stop it. It’s madness, which is why I’m talking about it. Because my renewed focus is on the 3rd leg of the trifecta of business building, “not going crazy in the process.” I’m pushing more and more attention on that because the need is enormous. I see it in the faces of business owners (and leaders). I hear it in their voice. The loneliness. Isolation. Worry.

It’s not a pessimistic view. It’s honest. Reality. Much of what drives us crazy is what’s going on in our head. Thinking.

“Don’t over-think it,” people will say. They often mean, “Act. Don’t waller it around in your mind.” But that’s not always the culprit to our difficulties (our craziness). Sometimes it’s that’s our thinking is corrupted by some script we wrote years ago. Or one we’re writing right now. We’ve developed some story in our head and it’s driving our actions. Problem is, the story isn’t accurate.

It’s not always a story crafted because we’re pursuing success. The story can also be crafted because we don’t want to lose success. Playing it safe.

Let me illustrate. A business owner is operating a successful company. He purchased the company almost 15 years ago. It was a successful company, but he’s been able to double it. For the past 5 years his personal income has annually eclipsed $900,000. A few years it crossed the magic million dollar threshold. He’s settled into a lifestyle that suits him well. The lake house. The modern, contemporary upscale home fully furnished with the nicer things including a state-of-the-art kitchen that would make any chef envious. A stable of nice sports cars and SUVs. Vacations are always out of the country about 3 times a year.

Life is good. But he’s going crazy because he’s scared. The political climate terrifies him. And it doesn’t matter if his candidate is in power or not. He’s mortified about the economy going south. A natural autocrat, this focus drives him to even new heights (or lows) of micro-management. The employees are stifled. Choked to death by an owner who can never be satisfied. He thinks he’s hard charging and these people – his employees – don’t understand.

Can you see his story? The one he’s written in his head?

Sure, many of us can see it when it’s not us. Within half a day of hanging around with him to survey things, I’m able to see dollars hitting the floor that he doesn’t see. Cracks are abundant. Solid sales growth prevents them from being burdensome. Making them invisible. And the story he’s written – along with the one he’s now writing – are calling his attention to a laundry list of things that drive him crazy. Things he admits that have always driven him crazy.

“Why haven’t you solved them already?” I ask. He launches into a 30 minute calm tirade about employees, particularly manager he’s had and still has.

He has a view that makes it all appear as he sees it. I know better than to try to persuade him otherwise. Life taught me the futility of that. Mostly, I do what I do…ask questions, trying to provoke insights.

I try to focus attention on a couple of areas where I can see room for big improvements. Things that will generate considerable profit improvements. They’re operational things — the kind of things that leap out to a guy like me, a lifelong operator. He doesn’t quickly embrace the ideas arguing why they’ll be too hard to implement and maintain. I don’t much care about the degree of difficulty because this isn’t a diving competition or a gymnastic routine. This is business. No trophies are coming because what we attempted was too hard. There’s money at stake. Real money.

So I decide to make it more personal. He’s shared his income details with me. I craft a spreadsheet and show him what doing this hard work will mean to him. Personally. It’s over $600,000 a year. He’s staring at a 60-70% increase in his already sizable income. And an outline of how that hard work can be accomplished.

This isn’t pie-in-the-sky “wouldn’t it be great if” kind of stuff. This is a one page document of how to fix a costly problem, one he’s been fighting (well, that’s an overstatement) for as long as he can remember…coupled with a spreadsheet of how the numbers will stack up after a year. Talk about hard data…well, it’s evidently too hard because he’s not embracing it. I’m puzzled. Really puzzled. Not by the disbelief so much as by the sheer lack of optimism to even give it a try.

We talk it. We talk about it some more. He offers many reasons why it won’t work. I alter tactics. Shifting gears to more of a “let’s assume it doesn’t work at all, what do we risk?” approach. Nope. That won’t work either.

Welcome to the world of being stuck.

The numbers shocked me. Shocked me that they didn’t shock him.

I challenged. I pushed. Not too hard at first. Harder later. He was paralyzed by fear. Fear of changing things. Fear of conquering problems that might create new problems, less familiar ones. Fear of finding new heights of financial success perhaps. Okay, he’s human. Join the rest of us. We’re all scared of something. It’s less about conquering fear and maybe more about being able to shove it out of the way long enough to grow and improve.

I failed.

I failed to help him because he didn’t want to shove the fear aside. Not even long enough to see if it might work out. The devil you know is often more comfortable than the one you don’t.

This is mental health and fitness of a business mind. It’s the necessity to see business challenges and opportunities as they really are. It’s not letting the story in our head force us to see boogie men in the shadows – boogie men who don’t even exist. But we see them. We know they’re there. Our story only fits if we see them. Remove the boogie men and our story is no longer our story. Now it’s a different story.

What I Know To Be True

It’s not a story at all. It’s an interpretation. It’s our mind ascribing some meaning to something or somebody. A meaning that isn’t necessarily true…except in our mind. That makes it completely true for us.

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”   -Henry Ford

Henry Ford was making a bold statement to let others around him know that one of the primary keys to getting what you want is believing that you can have it. It’s harder for some. Likely difficult for almost all of us. Maybe for you it’s in some narrow specific area. That seemed the case for the business owner. He was ridiculously confident in nearly every area of life, even joking about how he often felt like the smartest guy in the room. But I don’t think it was much of a joke. I think he meant it.

Fear blinded him to what was possible though. He couldn’t see it. He didn’t think it was possible. Convinced it wasn’t possible. Or that it was too hard and even if he could do it, it wouldn’t stick. So he never tried.

Head trash has a real cost. Not just dollars, but in pain of a persisting problem. The pain of fighting something almost daily for years. Just because we’re convinced that it is how it is, and that’s how it will always be. We live in ways to insure we’re correct.

I’d rather be wrong, wouldn’t you?

Grab yourself, turn it upside down and shake the magic screen of your mind.

We Make It Harder Than It Has To Be

Make no mistake. It’s hard. Sometimes ridiculously hard. No matter, we’re making it even harder.

Enter the power of a group. Sad to say I wasn’t able to connect the business owner with other voices that might be able to nudge him out of his stuck place, but I’ve done it in other circumstances with different people.

Our parents knew it was true – if we had friends who were trouble, we’d likely end up in trouble. It’s true of CEOs and business owners, too. There’s a reason why peers are important. We’ll listen to them. Be influenced by them. Care more about their opinion and viewpoint. Put a group of high school kids in a group and they’ll influence each other more than any teacher or adult. Put a group of business owners in a group and the same magic happens.

The magic happens largely in the mind of those in the group. Collectively and individually minds change, grow and expand. We realize that how we see things isn’t necessarily how others see them. First, we may be amazed. Then we’re open to understand the reality we’ve crafted isn’t reality at all. It’s just a point of view. One that may be the hurdle holding us back.

What’s holding you back? I don’t know you. I don’t know your business. I don’t know where you’re located. But I don’t have to know any of that to know the answer. It’s YOU. You’ve got a narrative in your brain, one you’ve created. You think – you’re even convinced – it’s serving you well. But until you can gain some other perspectives, some viewpoints that are different than those you currently hold, you’re stuck with the business problems. You’re limited with the opportunities you currently see.

But what about the things you don’t see? What of the opportunities that may be in plain sight to others? Like adding 60-70% more to your personal income?

Don’t sweat it. You’ll never miss it because you can’t see it anyway. Right?

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