Randy Cantrell

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These days scaling is all the rage. And talk. Start-up’s focus on scaling as quickly as possible as they struggle to escape the gravitational pull of business failure. When we’re not trying to scale, then we’re trying to hack, implement something lean, strategize something agile and all the while we’re honing our storytelling chops. 

Earlier this week I had a very brief Twitter exchange with Tom Peters. He mentioned how storytelling could be used for bad and said he gets nervous when he sees storytelling consultants. He hates when the word “agile” is capitalized. And he’d hate the word “storytelling” if he ever saw it capitalized. Poking a bit of fun, I replied, “So Agile Storytelling would (be) anathema (smile) — I’m with you on both counts btw.”

Buzzwords and buzz activities abound. I’d apologize, but I’m not sorry for getting tickled at it all. People love it because it makes them sound smarter. And some people need all the help they can get to sound smarter. 

Meanwhile, we’re busy trying to make payroll, put out fires and increase sales. “Agility? I’ve got your agility. I go to the gym and workout every day. And I’m old, but I’m still agile. I do need to improve on that lean business though.” 😀 

Today it’s about communication. I’m not talking about information you may need to broadcast to your employees, or team members. That’s a one-way street. Sometimes one-way streets are effective. Lots of cars can move in a single direction if the street is only open to one way. More than if we allowed cars to move both ways. But what a pain it’d be if every street were one-way. I suspect we’d be going in lots of circles to get to where we needed to go. 

But there are times when a written or spoken message needs to be communicated (broadcast). We need to pass information on to the people who need it. That’s already scalable. We write and distribute emails, memos, presentations, videos, web sessions, text blasts and whatever else can get the job done efficiently and effectively. It may be helpful to consider ways to improve that – largely, tone and the way we convey the message could likely be improved – but that’s not what I’m talking about today. 

No, I’m talking about how we can scale interactions inside our organization. There are 2 specific areas we can consider: 1) our interactions with people inside the organization (and consequently, our leadership team’s ability to scale communication with people), and 2) the interactions between people in our organization, particularly people who may not naturally interact much, if at all. 

Our Interaction and Leadership’s Interaction

We make this seem like it’s not worthwhile, and that it’s too cumbersome. Truth is, it’s neither. It’s highly profitable and easy to do. You just have to make up your mind (or perhaps change your mind about it). 

Some owners and leaders don’t think it’s worthwhile because they don’t think some people have anything of value to offer in conversation. Nobody will say that in a crowd, but they’ll feel it and think it. If you think the class system is gone, go visit the blue collar workers and you’ll find out different. Those boys in the top floor who wear those French cuffs aren’t found roaming the factory or warehouse floor, except when they’re showing the place off to a visitor. Besides, that guy making $12 an hour has no clue how to operate a business. Right?

WAY too many owners behave that way. I don’t care if they give it good lip service. Judge their actions. Judge your own actions. When you look around your operation and you feel some citizens in your kingdom are lesser people, you’ve got a blind spot that needs to be eliminated. And don’t try to convince anybody that blind spots are good things. 

Listening. Really listening. That’s the point. And the goal. 

Too many owners and leaders feel like listening means conceding decisions. Others are afraid of having to explain something or defend something. So they avoid the conversations altogether, or they enter the conversations with their guard up. Which is likely how they behave much of the time. Not open. Hardly ever honest. Never transparent. Always on guard. That behavior cripples communication, which cripples leadership.

I get that not everybody in your organization has the same degree of skill, expertise, knowledge or ability. But scaling communication from a leadership perspective starts with how you feel about other people. It’s steeped in what you believe about people. If you believe that because you make more money, or wear fancier clothes, or have an important title — then you’re sense of everything is more valuable than the viewpoint of anybody else, then you’re doomed already. You’re just too stupid to know the game is already over. 

Consider a guy working on a manufacturing factory floor. He’s got a job that may involve one step of an 18-step process. Question: is there likely anybody else who knows more about that part of the process? If I’m the CEO of that company, I’m putting my money on that guy. I’m betting he knows his step better than anybody else in the place. To think otherwise is the epitome of a closed mind. 

First, I have to see value in having a conversation with him. Second, I have to lower my guard, be candid and listen. Really listen. Third, I’m going to make it easy for him. I’m not going to talk with him to see how he feels about our new business development strategy. I’m leaning on him for his expertise in the area where he clearly knows more than me, and likely everybody else in the joint. That doesn’t mean I restrict what I allow him to share with me. It means I acknowledge his area of expertise and let the conversation go from there. 

When I respect him, I don’t get defensive. I don’t dig in. I understand the context of the conversation, whatever it may be. I can communicate with him to get his feedback, to see how he’s doing, to find out what I can do to better serve him (and make his work better, etc.), to give him feedback that can help him do better…there are many reasons I can engage in a conversation with him. Each of them share one thing: serving him. Don’t serve him for any reason other than because it’s right. It’s who you are!

Do it and coach your leadership team how to do it, too. Show them the way. Share with them the value of it. Hire for this trait. I challenge you to hire people – leaders – are find value in the opinions, insights and ideas of others. Hire the smartest guy in the room at your peril. Hire the person capable of making the room come alive with ideas and creativity, and you’ll have found a key person. 

The Interaction Among Others

Do you foster ways for people in one department to encounter people of another department? Or are the folks inside your organization siloed off among only themselves day after day?

Get creative in finding ways to make new interactions happen. Use your imagination. The priority has to be safety. Security. People have to feel confident that there’s not some underlying thing going on that they’re not privy to. Again, your openness and honesty is key.

Emphasize the value of shared ideas. Tell everybody – and show everybody – how much you value creative, innovative conversations and ideas. Here’s an idea, ask people what they think about intentionally fostering conversations among people who otherwise don’t talk. Or don’t talk very much. 

These don’t have to be formal conversations. They might be break time conversations. Lunchtime conversations. But they might also be formalized or facilitated. I don’t know your environment. You can figure this out. I’m encouraging you and your team to do the work to figure it out though. Because there are conversations that need to happen that aren’t happening. There are ideas that haven’t been expressed. Creativity that hasn’t been unleashed. Frustrations that haven’t been expressed in a positive way. Fixes and opportunities that haven’t been shared. 

The price of unscaled communication is insanely high. You’ve heard that old story of the daughter who would cut the ends off the ham before cooking it because that’s how mom did it. Only years later did the daughter learn, when prompted to ask her mom, “Mom, why did you always cut the ends off the ham?” – that mom did it because he had a narrow pan and the whole ham wouldn’t fit. Rather than get a bigger pan, mom just made the ham fit. Think of all the wasted ham over the years that might have been saved if they’d just had the conversation. 

What about the conversations inside your company? How much ham are you wasting? Stop it.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Okay, we can’t possibly make all the right assumptions, but we can improve making our assumptions serve us better. For today’s show we could use “expectations” and “assumptions” interchangeably. 

I’d sum it up like this: be convinced you can instead of being convinced you can’t. 

 It’s another one of those dreaded formulas. You can’t grow great – or accomplishment anything truly valuable – without hard work. But, you can work hard and still not grow great or accomplish much of anything. So let’s start there. Don’t make the assumption that just because you’re busting your butt, you’ll grow great. 

Your leadership, your business, your life — they won’t grow or improve simply because you’re putting in work. It matters what kind of work you’re doing. 

Many years ago David Letterman was interviewing somebody who brought up the subject of boxers versus briefs. I remember the guest saying to Dave that those openings on the front of the briefs don’t work so well. To which Dave replied, “It depends on what kind of work you’re doing!” 😀 

Exactly. You can work hard, put in long hours and grind away, but still fail to grow or improve yourself or your business. And it’s not that work smart, not hard crapola. You’ve got to do both. Effort can’t be misplaced if we’re going to grow great. And in order to properly direct that effort, we have to pull back and take a closer look at our assumptions. 

We all operate from assumptions. It’s necessary. Else we’d be unable to function. 

Just think about driving around town. We assume other drivers are going to obey the traffic signals. As we drive through an intersection with a green light, we’re assuming the cross traffic is going to obey that red light they’re staring at. 

We assume when we get up in the morning that our light switch is going to result in the lights coming on. We assume when we flush the toilet or turn on the water faucet that the water is going to automatically work. 

We assume we’ll get mail today unless it’s Sunday or a holiday. 

We assume our car will start. 

We kiss our spouse good morning, assuming we’ll see them again at the conclusion of the workday. 

Some days, with somebody, one or more of those assumptions fail. Perhaps it’s happened to you. Things rock along just as they always have…until they don’t. But we can’t live our lives without making these and many other assumptions. It’s just the practical reality of our ability to go about our daily lives. Our assumptions enable us to live. 

But they can also curse us if we take on negative assumptions and allow them to rule our lives. They’ll wreck our judgment and decisions, which in turn, will wreck our outcomes. 

You want the best outcomes possible. You want great results. For your business. For your life. Then today focus a bit more on your assumptions because they determine your perspective, which will drive everything you do. And everything you do will impact what happens. It’s up to YOU.

This was all provoked by a conversation I had recently with somebody who was embarking on a new enterprise. As we rolled through something of a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) it was clear that he wasn’t terribly confident about the endeavor. Yet he was insistent how much he wanted to pursue it, how much he believed in it. His words and tone indicated some assumptions that didn’t appear to be serving him well. So I gently challenged him with a single question…

“What if all your assumptions pointed to a positive outcome?”

“What do you mean?” he asked. I clarified by asking him, “What if you assume that everything you try will work? What if you go into every act assuming it’s going to be successful?”

He pushed back. “But that’s not realistic.”

“And what’s the downside?” I wanted to know. Anybody who knows me understands it’s among my favorite questions because it gets past the clutter to the real point of it. Which almost always is “so what?”

He thought for a second or two. “I don’t know. It just feels delusional.” 

It was an interesting response. Here’s a business person embarking on a new thing – a thing he claims to really believe in (and I trust he does). But he thinks to elevate his confidence in the effort (notice I didn’t emphasize the result because who knows what’s going to work or not) will feel “delusional.” 

“So are you telling me your endeavor is delusional? And if it is, then why embark on it in the first place?” I asked.

No, of course not. He felt his idea had legs. He started citing how it wasn’t some new thing that nobody had ever done before. It was a fairly tried and true business model. It was just something he had not done before. And boy did it resonate with me. Because a few months ago I set about to begin efforts to form the first of what I hope will be two peer advisory groups for small business owners from around America. Virtual, online groups that meet using a video conferencing platform.

I told him I’d never done this before, but that I was confident I had the ideal skills and experience to do it. And to do it extraordinarily well. 

Now he had a kindred spirit. He was trying to do something new. I’m trying to do something new. He’s assuming everything he’s going to try might (he really wanted to emphasize that word) fail. I’m assuming whatever I try will work. 

“Is everything working?” he asked about my own endeavor, The Peer Advantage.

“No, of course not. Truth is, most things aren’t working if you want to use hard measurements like acquiring people. But I’m not pursuing transactions and neither are you. We’re pursuing longer-term relationships. So honestly, I can’t say with certainty that anything isn’t working.” 

What about our assumptions? That’s the point. 

Have you ever achieved any business or career success without a deep belief – an assumption – that it would be successful? 

I don’t care what others think. Or how they feel. Or what “evidence” they try to use to persuade you that you’re an idiot. I care about what YOU think, feel and believe. It’s your assumptions that make the difference. 

Jeff Bezos believed he could successfully sell books over the Internet. Along the way, he and his leadership team made some other assumptions. You know about the successes because they’re quite public. You don’t know about all the failures because they never saw the light of day, or they were quickly forgotten. 

We don’t have to be business royalty to know that’s true of us, too. All of us. 

What if this will work? 

What if your actions today are based on your deeply held assumption that it’ll work? Is there a downside to that? I suppose only if you refuse to face compelling evidence to the contrary AFTER you’ve tried hard enough. 

I’ve tried many things that failed on the first few (or few hundred) attempts. There’s a fine line between stupidity and dogged determination to find out if an idea will work or not. You get the make that call though because it’s your assumption that it’ll work. Until you decide otherwise, give it your best shot. 

There are homeless people in every community of any size. In a place like Dallas/Ft. Worth we’ve got more than most. Drive into any major intersection with an overpass and you’ll likely encounter some poor soul begging for money, with a cardboard sign in hand. Now I’m not making any judgments about how they got there or what they might do with any money they get. But as I watch these people humble themselves in an effort to gain a few bucks from passing cars, I often think of the determination required to simply survive on the streets of a major metropolitan area like DFW. And I think of a seemingly hopeless situation where this person is hopeful, even optimistic and assuming that somebody – not everybody – but that somebody is going to give them something. And people do give them something. 

We’re blessed. We’re not homeless. We’re business people trying to make great things happen. For ourselves. For our people. For our companies. For our families. For our communities. 

Assume it will work and be successful until proven otherwise. Then try something else. And something else. And something else. 

Don’t defeat yourself with a built-in excuse that it “might” not work. Empower yourself that it “will” work. And we both know there’s only one way to find out. 

Try it.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Everybody gets stuck every now and again. For some, it’s a chronic condition they may not even be aware of. It happens often when we’re entrenched in our industry and our business. Nobody understands our industry like we do, and those of us in the space. The opportunities and challenges we face are ideally going to be managed based on our industry expertise. So we can quickly discount what others are doing with a dismissal, “You don’t understand our industry.”

Back in June, Dr. Diane Hamilton had entrepreneur Jeff Hoffman on her show. We interviewed Jeff last year on our Year Of The Peer podcast. He was one of the founders of Priceline.com. I’m citing Jeff in case you discount what I or anybody who isn’t a business rockstar may say. Jeff shares my passion and enthusiasm for leadership, entrepreneurship and collaboration. In fact, he even operates his own 2-day mastermind groups. The man knows the value of surrounding yourself with people outside your lane of expertise or knowledge.

I’m going to play 4 clips from Diane’s interview with Jeff and I encourage you to go over there and listen to the entire thing. You should subscribe to her podcast, too. Go here. 

Did you hear what you look and sound like in that clip? Many entrepreneurs, if they’re honest, do. Nobody can understand my problems. Nobody can help me unless they completely understand my business and my industry.

Then Jeff talks about Travis Kalanick, the founder of Uber.

Disruption isn’t the only outcome of looking at things through a different lens. Innovation happens, too. 

 What if you intentionally and purposefully surrounded yourself with other entrepreneurs who didn’t work inside your business, or even inside your space? What if you were surrounded by other business owners who might not even operate from the same city or state that you do? Can you imagine the value and benefit of a viewpoint that isn’t stuck with all the assumptions you think are advantages? 

I’m completely devoted to the cause. The purpose. The why of it all.

Serving entrepreneurs with a safe, confidential space where they’re surrounded by other entrepreneurs courageous enough to embrace openness and vulnerability so they can innovate, which means they can grow, improve and transform. That’s the point of it. It’s an environment that simply isn’t easily found for small business owners. But the value of putting yourself in that environment is without equal in terms of ROI. 

Here’s the last clip from Jeff’s interview with Diane. 

Let me add onto Jeff’s point of surrounding yourself with people smarter than you. I encourage you to consider surrounding yourself with people capable of serving you. Other business owners who understand what you’re going through because they’re going through it, too. People who can instantly relate to each other. People who can forge a bond of connection so they can comfortably help each other think through whatever issues they face. 

I know it’s a bold notion. I know it’s exclusive, too. I invite you to complete the application form so we can talk about your business and whether or not this opportunity is right for you. So be bold. Be brave. Click the APPLY NOW button.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Today is as good a day as any to simplify the name of the podcast. The focus is still aimed at helping leaders, particularly small business owners, but let’s just go by “Daily Brief” shall we? It’s easier to say. And to remember. The Grow Great Daily Brief. Proof that I’m embracing minimalism and simplicity in my own life. I’m not just preaching at you. 😉 

Let’s talk about caring. And I’m not talking about caring about how much money you make, or how successful your enterprise is…or the dozens of other things you care about. I’m talking about caring about people. Firstly, the people you work with. Teammates. Associates. People inside your organization. Secondly, the people who buy from you. Customers. Clients. 

Employees Come First

Lots of business owners and leaders give it lip service. As usual, talk is cheap. 

The other day I’m reminiscing with a leader confess that he felt he’d been doing a great job. The team was performing well. He felt good about himself as a leader. Until the higher up’s had a 360 assessment done. It revealed his team couldn’t stand him. They found him pompous, unapproachable and out of touch. He sensed none of those things. The news sent him reeling, questioning his every move. 

He was a smart guy. And had a degree of wisdom, too. So he used the information as an opportunity to gain some clarity about himself. Others might have resented the information or the people who delivered it. They may have disagreed and dismissed it. Thankfully, he didn’t do that. He decided instead to accept it as the viewpoint of people on his team. People who worked with him. They’d say they worked “for” him.

Emphasis had always been on the team hitting their goals. The performance was the deal and mostly, the team achieved. Each one of them (seven of them) would readily project how much more successful they could have been if their boss was more compassionate and caring. About them, and about their customers. But he wasn’t. Well, he hadn’t been.

About 6 months went by, prompted by a meeting he held with the team. During that meeting (conducted with some serious coaching to help him do it well) he opened up with his team like never before. He thanked them for their feedback and apologized. He listened. He took notes. Then he committed to them, and to himself, that he would do better. 

He did do better! Regular meetings with regular feedback provoked him to read books he’d never read before. He found himself having conversations with his team members that he never thought possible before. In fact, he wouldn’t have considered having them in the past. Now, they’re crucial conversations that he can’t fathom living without. 

This leader went from being an autocrat to a leader. He did it because he cared enough about his own career to be open enough to care about what his team was thinking and feeling. He’ll be the first to tell you, he had to swallow his perceptions that he was all that, and he had to make himself believe that the feedback of the team members was valid, at least from their viewpoint. Another 360 performed almost a year later wasn’t surprising. He was fully prepared for the results because he already knew how his team felt. “A week never ends without me knowing,” he says. Why? Because he cares. 

Clients Are Next

Thousands of working lunches and dinners with a variety of business acquaintances – sometimes prospects, sometimes customers, sometimes suppliers – will show you how nice people are. We meet at a nice restaurant with white cloth table settings and multiple wait staff per table. Not my kind of place, but it happens. It’s one of those dinners where folks are intent on one-upping each other. I watch. And listen. Smiling inside. Quite often outside, too. I always find it entertaining to watch grown people engage in popularity contests over a meal like a bunch of high schoolers. 

One guy is particularly brash. He’s the guy who dominates every conversation with some opinion. Sports, weather, politics, the economy…no topic is too expansive for him. He’s got an opinion about it. And it’s coming in hot and strong. 

From the get-go, he’s curt with the restaurant staff. It’s evident he’s going to behave with a “you bet you will” attitude. Constant demands. Never once a “thank you” or a “please.” Tossing out directives and commands, not requests. I’m his guest, along with the rest of the group. But by the time our water glasses were first filled I knew this was a guy who didn’t care about anybody including his customers. Like others at the table, I was thinking, “If he’ll behave this way toward these people doing their best to wait on him, then he’ll behave this way toward me, too.” 

Which is why employees are first. A leader who treats employees poorly, or without regard, will not treat customers well. They may say they will, but they’re liars. 

Too many business owners and leaders behave transactionally toward their customers. The customers pay a specific amount of money, which warrants decent (not extraordinary or dazzling) care. But the new wears off quickly and the owner moves on to hunt the next customer, treating their business like a never-ending series of one-night-stands. 

If you can’t or won’t fall in love with your customers, then you deserve to go out of business fast. And you will. 

The energy expended to practice contempt toward clients is often more than the energy required to love clients. Hatred, contempt or indifference burn humanity. They ruin people, mostly the people who practice them. But also the people to whom those feelings are directed. 

Love is the answer. It’s right. People who say YES to us and allow us to serve them deserve our love. Of all the providers they could select they chose us. It’s an honor. Highly valuable. 

Leaders – and I use that term loosely – who refuse to decide to honor employees and clients with care are tyrants. Not leaders. 

You Are Third, Which Makes You First

It’s right. Caring and compassionate leaders do what’s right all the time. 

It’s practical. There’s math involved. Simple arithmetic. Not calculus. Let’s say you have 60 employees and 2,000 clients. That’s 2,060 people who have a direct relationship with you. They each represent a variety of others indirectly connected. Suppose that number if four times the total, or 8,240. Then there’s the vast scope of influence of all those people. Think of the number of people who see various Instagram posts, Facebook posts, Linkedin shares or other social media reaches. You can’t count how many people are impacted by how you behave. And I don’t care if you’ve got Google search queries set…the reach of your influence for good or bad is extensive. People talk. And they repeat what they hear. 

Jeffrey Gitomer is a famous sales coach and author. I’ve followed Jeffrey for over 30 years. He’s long said that people can say one of three things about us. Something good. Something bad. Or nothing. And we get to choose what they say. He’s right. Sadly, too many business owners don’t choose wisely because they think caring about themselves is the path best taken. But you come third. And if you’ll decide to put yourself after your employees and clients, then you’ll start to win bigger. You’ll grow great!

You’re building an army that will fight against you or one that will fight for you. It’s up to you to build the one you most want. Stand apart like an arrogant dictator, like my dinner host, and you’ll be fighting alone. Stand with others, show them how much you care, and like the team leader who decided to wake up and change his ways, and you’ll be a wise General building a large army capable of winning in any market conditions. In our simple math solution, there could be you alongside 8,240 others who all know how much you care about them, or you can go it alone. You know which way is going to win. 

Care enough to put others ahead of yourself. It’s the path of leadership. It’s also the path toward achieving your wildest dreams. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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There’s a little documentary on Netflix called, “Long Shot.” Here’s how Sports Illustrated teased the release of the documentary.

The case dates back to August 2003. Los Angeles Dodgers fan Juan Catalan was arrested for the murder of 16-year-old Martha Puebla, who was fatally shot outside her home in Sun Valley, California. It was believed that she was killed due to her testimony in a gang murder case, where Catalan’s brother, Mario, was a co-defendant. Juan Catalan was arrested and awaited his trial for murder.

Catalan said that he was at a Los Angeles Dodgers game at the time of the drive-by shooting. Although he presented ticket stubs, it wasn’t enough. Catalan refused to take a lie detector test and a description of the shooter by an eyewitness didn’t really match. He needed to find a way to prove he was at the game.

Enter Larry David. Curb Your Enthusiasm was filming an episode at Dodger Stadium for the fourth season of the HBO show. Catalan remembered that he was caught on camera in the background while they were filming. The Dodgers helped put Catalan’s attorney in contact with the producers and they reviewed footage from the show. Catalan was caught on camera eating a hot dog and watching the game with his six-year-old daughter.

So many things had to go right. But one person, Catalan’s attorney, Todd Melnik, is pivotal. He had to pursue finding out about some camera crew that his client remembered seeing at the game. Catalan had no idea who they were, or what they were shooting. Melnik went to the Dodgers to find out. Then went to the Curb Your Enthusiasm folks to continue the pursuit. Relentless. Tenacious. 

What if he hadn’t been so dogged? Catalan may have been executed for a crime he didn’t commit. 

In episode 51, dated August 1, 2018, we asked the question, “What are you willing to do to survive or to grow great?” It’s the power of not quitting. 

I started thinking of accomplishments, and I don’t just mean notable accomplishments. Any achievement. Any success. 

Go ahead. Think of all of yours. Or somebody else’s. Anybody else’s. 

Could they have been done if you, or the people who got them done, had quit? 

While we’re often looking for brilliance or genius, success mostly boils down to the effort – doing the work – and refusing to stop until or unless we’re completely defeated. 

Street signs warn drivers that there’s no outlet, meaning this street isn’t a through street. In other words, it’s a dead end. That just means you can’t get there from here. You’ll have to find another way.

More often than we’d like to admit, we journey down streets that are “No Outlet.” In our life and our business, there are no signs. We have to travel down the path to find out. 

We set out to pursue something, we get one week in, or one year before we find out it’s a dead end. That doesn’t mean we quit. It just means this isn’t the path to get us there – “there” being success, or achieving the thing we’re chasing. 

Our pursuits are filled with dead ends. It’s fine. It helps us figure out the navigation to the success. Like rats in the maze, the cheese is still there somewhere. We just have to stay alive long enough to find it. 

Persistence. Determination. Resolve. 

Those are the traits that free wrongly imprisoned people. They’re also the traits that will free us from failure. 

Today is Monday. The Lord has blessed us with a new week. New opportunities to figure some things out. New opportunities to grow, improve and transform our lives and our businesses. 

The success you experience – all of it – will be determined by your resolve to not be denied. Move forward no matter what. No matter if you’re embarrassed, afraid or nervous. Just keep going down the path toward where you think success will be found, and if you’re wrong, pick a different path until you find it.  

I don’t care how educated you are. Or how talented you may be. Those are blessings, but they’re not the chief factors in helping you win this week. More important factors are going to be your resolve to hit a dead end and make adjustments to figure another way. Embrace the motto…

I may quit, but not today!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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On Monday Today.com posted an article entitled, “How to avoid life’s biggest regrets, enjoy the best years: Advice from 90-year-olds.” A 34-year-old United Methodist minister, Lydia Sohn, not a researcher, wanted to know what older people regretted most. She wondered if people in their 90’s regretted not achieving more. What she discovered was their regrets had nothing to do with their careers, accomplishments or achievements. 

“The biggest regrets of the 90-somethings Sohn interviewed had very little to do with their careers, work or what they hadn’t achieved. Instead, the most pain came from failures in their relationships, particularly with their children.

They deeply regretted not having closer ties to their kids, seeing that their kids didn’t get along with each other as adults or feeling that they didn’t put them on the right path in life.”

Today is my son’s birthday. He’s our firstborn, making us parents in 1980. This is his family. He’s father to 3 of our grandkids, two boys, and a daughter. We also have a daughter who is not quite 2 years younger than him. But today isn’t her birthday. 😉 

As my son, Ryan worked in retail during high school and college. Dealing with the public was easy for him. He went on to earn an undergraduate and graduate degree, spending about a decade in public education, mostly as an administrator, before joining the ranks of entrepreneurship. Today, he owns and operates a successful home inspection business in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area – TruVision Property Inspections. 

Knowing this week was the week of his birthday, I read the Today.com article with greater interest. I’m not yet in my 90’s, but I am a father and a grandfather. 

“They also wished they had taken more risks to be more loving — both in being more open about their feelings for new people and being more affectionate with those already in their lives. The wished they’d listened better, had been more empathetic and more considerate, and spent more time with people they loved, she noted.”

Sohn kept discovering insights she didn’t quite expect. 

“The elders’ answers here were a surprise to Sohn, who had read about the “U-bend” theory of happiness. The research found people’s psychological well-being generally dipped in their 30s, reached a bottom in their mid-40s, and then rebounded after 50.

But the 90-somethings she interviewed contradicted those findings. They reported being the happiest from their late 20s to their mid-40s, when their children were still at home, their spouses were alive and the family lived together.”

The article continues…

“These are definitely the most stressful times in my life… Weren’t those the most stressful years [for you]?” she asked the elders. Yes, they told her: “It’s stressful and chaotic, but so wonderful and fulfilling.”

The lesson here seems to be: Enjoy the chaos of right now, Sohn said. Yes, babies are fussy, children take over your life, teens are moody, the commute is taxing, the days are hectic, work is crazy and free time seems to be non-existent — but savor every minute. People measure happiness differently when they assess themselves in the moment than when they think about life retrospectively, Sohn said.”

I care about your business. But not more than I care about YOU. You care about your business. But not more than your family. I hope that’s true. If it’s not true, then step back this weekend and take a closer look at your life. This week I’ve intentionally focused more on you – the whole YOU. 

You matter! The people in your life matter, especially your family. Don’t spend all your time reaching for another level of financial success only to regret that you didn’t love your kids enough to serve them well. Or to regret that you blew up a marriage due to neglect or bad behavior. 

I’ve failed at many things in my life. I was not a perfect father. I’m not a perfect husband. But I put in the work with honest intentions. I made sure the people in my life knew I loved them. I said it often and demonstrated it. Whatever business success or failure I’ve had, nothing makes me more proud (or feeling more blessed) than having children who love me and who are willing to be loved by me. And let’s not forget their mother, my wife of 40 years and the love of my life. 

One wife. Two children. Two in-law children. Five grandchildren. Ten people who make up my tribe. Ten people who matter more than any enterprise ever could. Ten people who drive me daily to avoid having the regrets the 90-year-olds expressed. Let’s all work harder to avoid these regrets.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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