Personal Development

4 Things You Can Do When Things Go Wrong, As They Often Do

you feel like screaming
you feel like screaming

You want to scream.

Things have not gone well. In fact, they’ve gone very, very wrong.

You’re desperately trying to figure out so many things – all at the same time. You know it’s not how you should do it, but emotions are high and you’re not in control. Of anything. Including your thoughts.

“Why did I do that?”

“Where did I go wrong?”

“I”m so stupid.”

A head full of questions don’t seem to provide many answers.

Try these 4 things. Just try ’em.

1. Remember.

Think back to a previous failure that you endured. Didn’t it seem insurmountable? But here you are today. History has a way of putting things into perspective. Problems – in real time – seem larger than they may really be. Don’t blow your current problems up to be larger than they really are.

Gain confidence as you remember. You’ve been down and out before. You can get through this, too.

2. Inventory.

Look around at your resources. Your skills, your experience, your ability and anything else that might help you climb out of this pickle.

See these things in a new light. Maybe you’re missing the utility of some of your resources.

Have you ever seen those survival shows like Man vs. Wild? The first thing the person does is look around at what they’ve got to help them survive the situation. They get creative and repurpose all kinds of things. I once saw a guy remove the metal tray that held his truck battery so he could boil water in it. He cleaned it by rubbing dirt on it. He rinsed it off with water that was surely unsafe to drink. Then he built a fire and boiled small amounts of water in it to get rid of pathogens. What battery trays do you have in your life that you can use for something else?

Take a moment (or three) and be thankful for your inventory, no matter how large or small it might be.

3. Act.

First things first. Stop trying to do it all at once. Whatever went wrong won’t likely be fixed by jumping in a dozen different directions.

Get a plan and go to work.

What’s the first things you think you should do? Do that. To completion.

Taking another lesson from the survival shows – usually the first goal is to create safe shelter. They don’t start to build a shelter, then decide they’d better go hunting. If it’s shelter they need, first they build their shelter, then they go hunting.

Too frequently, we try to do everything simultaneously and end up failing to accomplish anything. Stay focused on the priority at hand.

4. Persist.

Persevere. Do not let anything stop you from moving forward.

Show the problem, your competitors or your naysayers that you won’t accept defeat. Be resilient.

You may have to alter your course, or strategy, but that’s just being smart. If one thing won’t work, try something else. Stay mentally engaged and be creative.

Go back to the earlier steps if you must, but never, ever quit.

Randy

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Episode 169 – Talent May Be Overrated

Success takes more than talent
Success takes more than talent

The Role of Deliberate Practice in the Acquisition of Expert Performance by K. Anders Ericsson (and others) is an interesting study about how talent may not be the determining factor for success.

The title of the study tells you the answer.

Deliberate practice – focused practice – made a big difference in three categories of violin students. One group were those who went on to have solo careers. Another group went on to be part of an orchestra. The final group wound up as music teachers. The difference in what they did was drastic. Those at the top of that food chain – the soloists – worked much harder. But they also rested more. And they practiced in shorter, more intense spurts.

We’re always looking for keys, secrets and formulas. We want an easy answer. A simple explanation. And we often find them by blaming success on fate, luck, chance, serendipity, talent and a host of other things that may play a part, but it’s highly probable that, for most people, they play a minor role.

We’d be more successful if we were so lucky. It’s fun to think so.

And it’s lazy.

Fact is, most of us just don’t want to work that hard. Most of us just don’t prepare enough for success. The result? Most of us never experience the success we could.

Randy

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Thank you!

Episode 169 – Talent May Be Overrated Read More »

Episode 166 – What Do You Want To Do?

question markTrue confession: I’m a middle-aged guy who began seeking my “encore career” about 4 years ago. And like many men my age, I fell into an occupation as a young man. As a teenager really. Thirty-five years later I came to a place in my life where I asked, “Now what?” The real question was, “What do you want to do…now?”

You know how it is when a big group wants to go out to eat, but it’s not a pre-planned affair. You ask, “Well, where do you guys want to go eat?” For the next 15 minutes it’s like you’ve asked the group to solve world peace. It just seems impossible to figure out where to go. You either get tons of indifference – “I don’t care” – or you get very opinionated responses – “No, I hate Mexican food.” Well, asking yourself what you want to do is tougher than that.

Yep, world peace might be easier!

I don’t know why it’s so hard, but rare is the person who says, “I’ve always known I wanted to (fill in the blank).” Don’t you hate those people. Life isn’t fair. Why do they have such clarity while I’m over here in the mud puddle stomping around trying to find my way?

I’m here to tell you that YOU can figure it out. How long will it take? I don’t know. Truthfully? It’ll take as long as it takes. So the good news is, you can start today. The sooner you start, the better. The bad news is, it might happen for you right away, but it’s much more likely to take a long time.

That’s okay. It’s very worthwhile work. I’ll share with you one little idea that I used to help me find my way. It might help you, too.

Check out ChasingDFWCool.com – it’s a project I’m preparing to launch within the next month or so.

Randy

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Episode 166 – What Do You Want To Do? Read More »

Episode 163 – Don’t Live One Way In Your Head And A Different Way In Real Life

balanceSomething must give.

It’s less of this so we can grab more of that.

It’s saying “no” so we can say “yes.”

Choices, choices, choices.

Many choices aren’t easy. Instead, they’re confusing, conflicting and agonizing. People chase balance, but there’s no such thing. Work, life, pleasure, faith, conviction, philosophy, family, friends. It’s all a big mashup of everything that makes us who and what we are.

It’s about more than fictional balance. It’s…

Time To Embrace Congruency

Today’s show is about regret, risk, opportunity, but most of all – it’s about being congruent. Don’t live your life one way in your head and a different way in real life. It’s high time to make the two come together. Stop fantasizing about what might be. Take a chance and try to make it reality.

So what if it doesn’t pan out exactly like it does in your dreams. It might be better. It might not. Either way, you’ll be better for the effort. You’ll also be spared the agony of wondering what might have been.

It’s time to venture out to create a better – a different – future. It’s time to make it real.

Randy

Podcast Options:
• Subscribe via the iTunes store
• Android, Blackberry & other listeners can listen on Stitcher Radio
• Right-click here to download this episode to your computer
• Click here to playback in a new window

Episode 163 – Don’t Live One Way In Your Head And A Different Way In Real Life Read More »

Born To Do What? No Plan B


heart shapeNOTE: HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

I originally released this video this past Sunday exclusively to my Inside The Yellow Studio list, but some thought it’d be useful out here on the front end of Bula! Network. So, here goes! If you’re not part of Inside The Yellow Studio I hope you’ll plug in your email address here.

 

Do you feel you born to do something? Do you have the talent for it?

What if your plan A is all wrong? What if you love it, but you’re no good at it?

How long should you hang onto a plan A that isn’t working?

Van Morrison’s latest record is entitled, Born To Sing: No Plan B.

Today’s topic involves:

• Going all in on one thing, that thing to which we may feel we were born
• Having a single plan, plan A
• Changing direction, figuring out a plan B when plan A doesn’t work out
Getting To Plan B, a book by John Mullins and Randy Komisar
• And a lot more seemingly contradictory questions…and thoughts!

Let’s see if we can’t figure out a few things…or at least, see if we can gain some clarity.

Do you have a Plan B? How did you figure it out? How long did it take you?

Randy

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Do You Ever Ask Yourself, “Am I Worthy Of Success?”

Do you prefer audio? That’s why I’ve made the audio only of today’s video available separately.

Today’s show is important because the message is universal. Everybody suffers hearing two contrasting voices. One tells us we can keep going, encouraging us to push forward. The other one tells us to quit, urging us to give up because we’ll never be able to succeed. Sometimes we listen to one over the other.

The high achievers have both voices. They’re just able to silence the naysayer better than the rest of us. They think differently. They feel differently. And they perform differently, too.

Randy

Do You Ever Ask Yourself, “Am I Worthy Of Success?” Read More »

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