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The first leg of winning the business trifecta is getting new customers. Every small business needs them. The problem comes after we get them. We tend to think, “Well, that’s done!” — and we quickly move on to get the next customer. Like dating the girl we hope to marry, once we get a ring on her finger we may forget how hopelessly in love we were. And how hard we woo’d her. So we stop. We neglect her. Take her for granted, then we’re puzzled when she leaves. If it can (and it does) happen in marriages, don’t be so hardheaded to avoid thinking it can’t happen to your business. It can. It will. Unless you stop it.

It’s a natural, but stupid reaction. When we need it, we chase it. When we’ve got it, we stop chasing and start taking it for granted. 

Until it’s gone.

In this case the “it” is a “they” or “them,” our customers. 

The short answer to today’s title is ongoing wooing. Never stop.

Husbands, don’t stop dating your wife. Ever. 

Wives, don’t stop dating your husbands. Ever.

Business owners, don’t stop wooing your customers. Ever. 

If your business is transactional, it doesn’t matter. This week I made an online purchase for some pool chemicals. I was a first-time customer. It was 100% done online. Once I hit the purchase button the site took over a minute, then gave me an error screen. I jumped on their online chat to find out what I should do. I sure didn’t want to order it twice. The chat person immediately responded with an apology because their system did that with an entire batch of customers, including me. But while we were chatting I got an email order confirmation, gave the order number to the chat person and she confirmed my order was in and all was well. 

Will I buy from them again? Likely. Even though this first order encountered a problem, they responded well. And I’m fanatical about customer service. There’s no excuse for any business to fail to deliver extraordinary service. I know that because I’ve spent my life operating businesses. And I know it’s a choice! 

It’s also a choice to keep valuing the people who said YES…even if they said YES months ago. When we take customers for granted we’re choosing to…and that’s insulting. To them. It’s foolish for us. But we still do it.

Here’s my curveball. Stop taking your employees for granted. Don’t lie to me and tell me that you’ll admit you can take existing or past customers for granted because you’re so focused on getting new customers…but in the same breath try to convince me you still woo your employees. You don’t. Let me interview your employees and they’ll tell me the truth. 

Be kind. Be grateful. Get off your high horse and embrace humility. Stay hungry, but be content. And just like we talked about yesterday…it’s all within your power to just choose it. You get to decide your thoughts, your feelings, your beliefs, your actions. So why wouldn’t you realize you’ve got the power to keep valuing customers who said YES to your offer?

The mistake so many businesses make is putting a value on customers in order to determine the level of care they’ll provide. My pool supply purchase was just under $50. I have no idea what the lifetime value of a customer is to the company where I made my first purchase. But as a longtime pool owner, I can tell you that we spend hundreds of dollars every year. Do that for 20 years and you’re going to rack up some purchases. But they have no idea if I’ll ever purchase again. For all they know it’s my one and only purchase. Sure, they can play the odds and hope. Smart. But if they mishandle my $50 purchase they’d better know it’s over. I’ve got too many options. Online and off. 

Are you figuring your “good” customers are worthy of closer hand-holding? But the smaller (low paying) customers aren’t as worthy? 

Stop it. Value the YES. A $50 YES is important. Just as important as a $1000 YES. If you start quantifying the importance of customers by allowing that to determine if you’ll take them for granted or not, then you’re going to fail at growing as great as you can. Dazzle me when I buy a little and I’ll be more inclined to buy more. Maybe a lot. Treat me poorly (or even nonchalantly) when I spend a little, and I’ll never trust you. Worse yet, I’ll regret ever saying YES. 

Then there’s the power of what our customers say about us. Years ago business owners knew the bad mouthing customers could deliver was high, but it wasn’t nearly as high as it is now. People might tell 5, 10 or 15 people about a bad experience with us. Today, that number can be 100X or 1000X. I’ve got thousands of online connections, many of them are offline, too. And I write and podcast. I could tell thousands and thousands of people. And I’m a nobody! 

You still want to risk taking customers for granted? 

Start with the people who work for you. If you’re taking them for granted, start showing gratitude for their efforts to make your company great. Show your appreciation. You can figure out how to best do that. Dazzle them. These are people pushing your business forward every business day. They matter. Treat them like it.

Now, examine your “dating habits” with customers who have already made a purchase. They’re the second leg of the business building trifecta that I want you hit…serving existing customers better. How can you improve that? Huddle with your people. Talk with your customers. Don’t fret about your competition. They’ll just distract you. Go above and beyond. Don’t do as little as you can. Do as much as you can afford. In the longer term you’ll bury the competition. Because I know the truth. Your competition won’t make the choice you’re making. They’ll grab today’s money and never realize they’re losing until it’s too late. 

Then we’ll dance on their grave.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 5:21 — 5.3MB)

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The other day my podcast partner Leo Bottary and I recorded a conversation with Dr. Larry Senn, the godfather of company culture. He wrote his doctoral dissertation, Organizational Character as a Tool in the Analysis of Business Organizations, in 1970. You know the guy is early in the game when he predates the term, company culture! He termed it “organizational character.” He’s in his early 80’s and is a fascinating guy. 

His most recent book is entitled, The Mood Elevator: Take Charge of Your Feelings, Become a Better You (2017). You’ll be able to find the show when we release it in about a month over at WhatAnyoneCanDo.com. 

For a few years now I’ve been immersed into the practical application of brain science. Don’t worry, I’m not bright enough to wax too eloquently about it. But I can distill it into the basic elements of what I mean.

We think what we think. Sure, that includes us feeling what we feel. We choose those things. It’s completely on us.

That spurs us to believe what we believe. Yep, we make those choices, too. Nobody is pulling our strings to make us think or believe anything. 

That sparks our behaviors. What we do is completely another matter of choice for us.

And then, presto, chango — we get our outcome. The results are completely our fault. 

I realize this is an enormous disappointment for many of you who rather delight in feeling victimized. By the government. By industry regulations. By competition. By suppliers. By finance partners. By the unions. By your employees. By your customers. By the universe. By the weather. By the failure of your local professional (or university) sports teams. By your landlord. You get the idea. It’s a never-ending list of culprits who have foisted failure or difficulty on you. 

I’m sitting down with somebody who is encountering a challenge to forgive somebody. She asks, “How can I do that?” I reply, “Simple. Just decide you’re going to do it.” Nobody said “easy.” I said, “Simple.” And it is. 

The hard part is making that decision. But for many of us the harder part is understanding we can make that choice. I’m astonished at how many people refuse to accept that truth. “Well, I don’t believe it,” is a rather common refrain. Great! Refuse to believe in gravity, too. But if you step off the roof of a tall building gravity WILL kill you. Gravity doesn’t care if you believe in it or not. 

Business owners can find excuses better than most. We’ve got a million reasons why things aren’t going the way we planned them to. Our plans are terrific. These idiots who work for us can’t execute them properly. We can’t be at fault. 

We strut around naked thinking we’re robed like a King. A’hem, I mean an “Emperor.” We’re ninnies who oftentimes refuse to accept the reality that our feelings are our fault. We want control of just about everything, but we don’t always want the blame. And here we are faced with a truth that we do control – and own – our feelings, and we’re quick to surrender them to some flimsy excuse. 

Anger. Sadness. Bitterness. Jealousy. Our emotions ride the roller coaster daily. Too frequently we allow external conditions to drive the coaster. We read into things. We ascribe meanings to things. We fixate on the story we craft in our imagination. Challenge yourself to get in better touch with what you’re doing. What you’re feeling. And why. 

Today I just want to offer you one challenge: try to extend grace in every situation. That’s right. All of them. Instead of assuming the worst intention or motive, assume the best. It’s a choice you can make. Push yourself to go against the natural grain you’ve likely followed your whole life. Don’t assume the person, or the situation or the event is ill-intended. That’s what I mean by showing grace. It’s giving the benefit of the doubt to it so it won’t be so harmful to your emotions. 

What have you got to lose?

Maybe your bitterness, resentment and anger!

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:00 — 8.7MB)

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I’ve learned quite a lot since I became a grandfather. If you want to learn some valuable things, pay close attention to the little kids in your life. 

They’re learning everything. Lots of firsts. No experience. 

It’s interesting to see how their personalities impact their actions. You can watch them approach something they’ve never done before and figure out what you’re doing to foil your own success. Well, you can do that if you’re not so quick to judge them. And their hesitations. 

Some of us are prone to not give things much thought. Others of us are prone to think too much perhaps about things. But it’s not a binary thing where people always avoid overthinking or where others always overthink it. Some things are attempted without hesitation while others things cause almost paralyzing hesitation. Because some things are more fearful than other things. Some things make more sense than other things. It’s this ever-sliding gray scale of emotions that we all have to figure out. And manage. Somehow. 

I’ve got five grandkids. Among them are two brothers, Easton and Cason. Easton is the oldest, 5. Cason is the younger, turning 3 in July. It’s summertime so swimming is a big activity. They spend quite a lot of time in our pool every summer. Clearly, Easton is the more experienced having spent twice as many summers than his younger brother. But compared to his younger brother, Easton is more fearful of the water. He learned to swim a few summers ago. Took lessons and learned all the proper ways to protect himself, like relaxing and flipping over to float on his back. Around water, he’s timid. Almost never relaxed. There’s nothing in his experience to create this. It’s hardwired. It’s just who he is. 

Cason has had 4 swimming sessions. FOUR. Ten minutes each. Just a week ago. This past weekend – Father’s Day 2018 – Cason was jumping in even though he clearly doesn’t quite yet know what he’s doing. We’re watching him (and all the kids) like a flock of hawks! We almost have 1 adult per child keeping a watchful eye on this beggars. This weekend we remarked that we wish Cason had a bit more fear, but he doesn’t. He just goes for it. 100% of the time. 

Meanwhile, older brother (over twice his age) will often stand near the pool debating on whether to even get in. No amount of coaxing, cajoling or persuading seems to matter. He’ll get in when he’s ready, but if you wait for him to get ready – you’ll be sunburned. You can see him overthinking it 8 ways to Sunday. Internally he’s talking himself out of it instead of looking to see all the other kids have fun. Even his success – he knows how to swim – doesn’t seem to affect a quick repeat performance. Sure, some days he’ll get on a roll and be fine, but we’re all guaranteed to experience him halt and hesitate pretty regularly. We’re hoping this summer will be his breakout performance, but we also know it’s up to him. He could have broken through at least 2 summers ago. Two whole summers!

Yesterday, we had a combo-celebration – my wife’s birthday and Father’s Day. All the grandkids were over. The pool was a tidal wave of frolicking. Easton was doing his usual thing and I was watching him carefully, as I always do. That fear is real. We know it’s in his head, but we also know whatever he’s imaging is his reality. He’s physically, mentally and emotionally afraid. It’s guaranteeing his failure to relax and enjoy what he already knows to do. He’s missing out. And he’s the only person who can change it. 

Easy to see when we’re watching a 5-year-old. Way more difficult when we’re looking at ourselves. 

It’s Monday. A new week. 

You’re afraid of something. It’s highly possible you’re overthinking it. Like Easton, you’re thinking about it too much. It’s WHAT you’re thinking that’s killing you. 

I hate the simplification of overthinking because it implies that thinking about something is hazardous or detrimental. Thinking should be prized. I’m using overthinking the way we generally use it, to mean we magnify our fears. We dwell on them. We let them dictate our behavior rather than getting past them. It’s less about overcoming our fear as it is doing what we fear anyway. Overcoming fear is a process. It may take Easton many attempts before he finally conquers whatever fears he’s got about swimming. 

This week – and every week – if you want to guarantee your failure at something, then embrace dwelling on your fears. But there’s a problem. Easton’s fear is easy to see. That is, we can see what he’s afraid of. We may not understand what he’s afraid of, but the fact that simply getting into the pool is fearful displays his fears. Our fears aren’t so clear-cut. As adults we can be good at masking our fears, making them see like something else. 

We need more information. 

We need to let things play out a bit more.

Today isn’t a good time. 

We can come up with reasons that sound good, but until we face the reality that we’re overthinking because we’re dwelling on our fears of what can go wrong. 

I’ve tried reasoning with Easton. Just yesterday, I’m in the water, attempting to get him to swim to me – about 15 feet away. He says I’m too far away. I ask him if he’s ever seen anybody hurt at our pool. Nope. Has he ever seen all of us (the adults in his life), let anything bad happen to any of the kids? Nope. Can you tell me what you’re afraid of? Nope. 😉 

It just is what it is. 

I’m learning that our fears aren’t always based on anything other than how we feel at that moment. But I’m also learning that focusing on those fears just amplifies them. Over a year ago, author Mel Robbins released her book, The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage. 

Back in 2014 he released this video presentation on her 5-second rule. But go back to 2011 and you’ll be able to watch her TED Talk which currently has over 14 million views. That talk was entitled, “How to stop screwing yourself over.” She was the 1st person I heard mention the scientific research that revealed the odds of you being born – the when of your birth, the to whom you were born – at 1 to 400 TRILLION. The fact that you’re YOU is remarkable. Why let your fears rule you, or sabotage this one thing you’d like to do, you need to do.

Mel talks about why we put things off. It’s kinda sorta the same thing as overthinking, but maybe not entirely. I point to her because the single message she preaches is that you’re never going to feel like it. So you do it anyway! 

Easton isn’t going to drown. We’re not going to let that happen. He’s a kid. We’re watching out for him.

You’re an adult. You feel nobody is watching out for you. Maybe not. And that’s stopping you? 

Nothing horrible is going to happen. And even if it does, you’ll able to recover. 

So be afraid. Just stop halting. Hesitating. Do it anyway. Force it. At first. Then force it again. And again. Over time, it’s like lifting weights. It gets easier to lift the same weight the more you do it. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:33 — 7.3MB)

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Yesterday four university professors published an article in the Harvard Business Review entitled, “In Interviews, Female CEOs Say They Don’t Expect Much Support — at Home or at Work.”

The female leaders we spoke to expected little outside support, either at home or in work.”

That one sentence just made me sad. I kept thinking about it throughout the day yesterday and quickly concluded (merely anecdotally, based on my experiences) that this statement can also apply to many men. Kinda sorta.

Men often express loneliness. But I realize there’s a difference.

It made me wonder if men expect support more than women…even if they don’t always get it. It seems from the interviews with 12 CEOs the professors found these ladies didn’t expect it. That sent me down the rabbit hole of wondering about disappointment. 

I’ve long argued in favor of optimism. When challenged, I tell folks I just don’t see a downside to optimism. Save one thing. Disappointment. But, I argue, we’re going to be disappointed anyway so it just doesn’t seem like a risk. Even so, disappointment is a real thing. I get it.

Men. Women. No matter. We all need support. Both at work and at home. Too few of us have it. Too many of us are disappointed. And way too many of us are living with that disappointment, not knowing how to remedy it.

Later in the article, this sentence got my attention.

Interestingly, they emphasized trying to develop networks that would help them to do their current job better, rather than to get a better job, which is typically how men employ networks.”

Networks, support. We all need them. For what purpose?

For our own purpose. To help us. If the researchers are correct, and women leaders leverage their networks more for doing their current job better, then there’s another interesting distinction between men and women. These are generalizations made based on their research, but it still intrigues me. Here we are – men and women – needing support. Craving it. Maybe not often expecting it, or getting it. Feeling like we need a new, better job…or feeling like we could use support to perform better where we’re at. 

Business leaders can be resistant to ask for and accept support. There are lots of likely reasons. 

For starters, most of us have a certain wiring to be in charge. No matter how you’re wired personality-wise, you’ve likely spent some time embracing the loneliness of your leadership. You’re good with it. Some days you even relish it because it makes you feel special. Important. Significant. 

But it’s chipping away at you. Especially on those days where you could sure use some help and support. Not the kind of support where somebody leans over your shoulder telling you what to do, but the kind of support where somebody can listen to you, understand you and be a safe sounding board. 

When the women CEOs told the researchers they didn’t expect that kind of support at home or work, it made me wonder how much better their lives might be if they not only expected it but if they got it. That’s my wiring. I’m a what-if guy. A what-could-be sorta person. I do it constantly when I examine business challenges and opportunities. 

If high achieving CEOs and business owners could soar a bit higher – grow even greater – what would that look like? What sort of impact would that have on their businesses? Their employees? Their customers? Their families? Their communities?

Success can morph quickly into complacency. That notion that we’ve made it. Check the box. 

Never understanding that the box can more quickly become UN-checked. 

Eric Barker, author of the book, “Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong”, offers 4 points of emphasis in this never-ending discussion about work/life balance:

1. Happiness – what you’re enjoying?/ what you’re doing?
2.  Achievement – are you getting ahead? Are you making money?
3. Significance – is what you’re doing benefiting the people you love?
4. Legacy – are you making the world a better place?

Every person on the planet needs support to achieve these things. Grow Great is based on the premise that none of us are as good as we can be. We all have room for improvement. It’s the lifelong pursuit that drives us. Business leaders, because of our quest to make a difference, may have even greater needs for support because we’re trying to do big things. 

Be intentional about surrounding yourself with people willing and able to support you. Don’t limit yourself to the usual suspects. Or by falsely assuming your support system will just happen organically. Act with purpose. Make it happen. Your professional life and your personal life have room for growth. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:26 — 6.3MB)

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You know you need to do it. You’ve been needing to do it for days. Maybe weeks. But you’re dreading it. So you keep putting it off.

Without any idea what you’re waiting for. It’s not like it’s going to miraculously go away. You convince yourself that now isn’t the time. Besides, there are other things that seem more pressing. Next thing you know, another day has gone. You’ve escaped handling it once again. 

But it doesn’t feel as good as you’d hoped. Instead, the dread grows. And grows. 

I don’t know what it is. Some leaders report to me that handling an employee situation can be right near the top of things they dread handling. Through the years of doing it myself, and coaching leaders through the process, it almost always goes much better than people thought it might. Mostly, it’s because people don’t fully think through what’s actually going to happen (or what should happen). They have it framed incorrectly in their head so it becomes dreadful. 

Maybe you’re not vexed by needing to handle a poor performing employee, but I’m going to use that to illustrate the point. You’ll be able to apply it to whatever you’re putting off. Something you know you should handle right now instead of next week!

Let me tell you the story of a man I’ll call Ralph. Ralph is a manager. He’s in charge of a sizeable team of people, a lot of resources and his role is crucial to the company. A year ago Ralph appeared to be an excellent hire. He interviewed well. Had an impeccable resume. And figured to be an upgrade. 

The first 90 days went well. Ralph was doing a great job, confirming all our notions that we’d hired the right guy. 

Somewhere around the 120-day mark things started to go weird. Ralph would step out at random times during the day. Things continued to go well, but this change in his schedule was strange. Not something where I would call him into my office, but something employees were noting. It drove curiosity among Ralph’s troops, but nobody noticed any other oddities. And when Ralph left work at these odd times they weren’t uniform. He might step out at 1 pm and be gone for 30 minutes. He might leave around 3 pm and be gone for an hour. Ralph was a leader who established his own schedule so I was just keeping a close eye on things. Maybe I did what you do – I put off having the conversation with him, “Ralph, what’s going on with your schedule? People are talking and it’s becoming a distraction.” I wish I had done it.

Fast forward now to about month 8 into the role and Ralph is a serious problem. Work has slipped big time. His schedule has grown odder. I sit down with him and address every item specifically, in detail. He basically denies that anything has changed, but he can’t deny my evidence (performance standards weren’t being met). I put him on a performance improvement plan. That means, I write him up and tell him he’s got 30 days to get his act together and I commit to do whatever is necessary to help him. He signs it, shakes my hand and thanks me.

Thirty days later we’re doing the exact same thing again. Same result. I tell him there won’t be a third opportunity. “Ralph, I’m pleading with you to let me help you get back on track.” He denies he’s failing in spite of overwhelming evidence. He signs the second document, stands up, shakes my hand and thanks me. 

Thirty days later I’m terminating Ralph. It’s over. Months and months were wasted because I didn’t confront Ralph at the first sign of weird behavior which was distracting his team. Completely my fault. FYI, turns out Ralph was used to being fired. And then trying to collect money, either from his old employer or unemployment. I fought the fight against him collecting unemployment or threatening wrongful termination. And won! Ralph had some kind of a weird job hopping habit. I was at least the second of his potential victims. 

My putting it off cost the company MONTHS of poor performance that I could have fixed much sooner. But I convinced myself that Ralph wasn’t doing anything I could really confront. Maybe not, but I could have certainly had a conversation with him. Sure, he’d have likely lied to me, but I may have been able to start my PIP (performance improvement plan) sooner so I could be rid of him. 

Delay is more costly than speed. I’m not urging you to abandon thoughtfulness, but I am urging you to avoid hesitation. 

Maybe you’re delaying any number of actions because of fear. You don’t want to hurt somebody’s feelings. You don’t like confrontations. Who knows? The excuses are as varied as our personalities. No matter. Delaying will likely cost you way more than taking action right now. 

Besides, if you act right now you’ll be it over with. That means you’ll be able to move on and get rid of that weight of dread. 

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Subscribe to the podcast

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Thank you!