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The air is clear but cool. It’s about 40 degrees.

I’m staring at some woods, watching chipmunks, squirrels and all kinds of birds flitter around.

Chilling out means exhaling. Inhaling, too. Slowly. Deliberately. But naturally. The kind of breathing that helps melt away whatever may be vexing a person’s emotions or thoughts.

And I’m thankful.

Thankful to be in this moment. Thankful for the people who surround me – mostly my wife of almost 43 years. But the list of things I’m thankful for seems to extend exponentially each year. It happens with age I suppose. This is just a sample of things for which I’m thankful – things that have made an enormous difference in my life:

• Christian grandparents and parents – a legacy of faith and fidelity is the most priceless gift I’ve ever been given
• A godly woman who accepted my proposal many years ago and remains one of the best women I’ve ever known
• Family, including 5 grandchildren who are healthy and growing up surrounded by people trying to show them the way to their very best life
• Old men who taught me so much and inspired me to be that old man for others

I’m blessed physically, materially, and financially. But those things don’t top my list. The truth is if they crack the top 10 they’re in the lower portion. We’re working folks. Financial independence has never been the goal. We’ve raised a family and been able to live more comfortably than the majority of the planet. I’m thankful for that, but not more than the people who have made such a dramatic contribution to helping me grow, improve and make the necessary corrections along the way.

When you dwell on gratitude, does it provoke you to think of things you desperately wish were different? Yeah, me, too.

Everybody experiences grief, sorrow, sadness and loss. Sometimes, as with the death of the old men in my life, I’m able to embrace the quote from Dr. Suess…

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

But sometimes the loss is different and I’m not ever able to smile. I can only cry. You’ve got some things in your life like that. Things that lay you low when you dwell on them.

As you grow older, sloping toward being old…you encounter peers who have heartbreaking stories. Stories of loss, regret, and sorrow. That’s why I encourage you to find a place – perhaps a physical place or maybe it’s just some ideal place you create in your mind – where you can inhale and exhale. A place where you get find a respite from that pain. The kind of pain you’re powerless to do anything about…except in finding a path forward for yourself. These stories I hear always involve somebody, usually a family member, who made (or is making) extraordinarily high priced choices. Such stories involve drug abuse, criminal behavior, imprisonment, loss of a good name and so many negative consequences that impact millions of families around the world. I listen to the stories people share about their pain – a pain they simply must manage – and I’m made to better understand the universal reality that sin, bad judgment, and selfishness have impacted all of us. All of us!

Grow Great is the URL and the name of the podcast. Sometimes people will ask, “How do you measure greatness?” I always respond the same way, “It depends.”

Mostly on what you’re talking about. When it comes to human life it’s not the same as a business process. I thrive on finding ways to be more effective and efficient. Take a look at the activities inside an organization and it’s easy to find ways to improve – ways to work better at growing great. Listen to the stories of bad human behavior and we mostly use the same terms to describe it. Wasted. A wasted life. Nothing is sadder.

How do you measure greatness in a human life? I can think of some ways worth thinking about, but I don’t claim to have precise wisdom about it. One way goes back to the things I’m thankful for – the folks who had such a profoundly positive impact on my life. People who made me better. Or tried to. People who refused to let me just go any old way I might want to. People who loved me enough to steer me in ways that would help me improve, mature, and grow. People unwilling to be cheerleaders as I leaned into selfish, willful behavior that could have destroyed me. People more willing to challenge me to consider the consequences so I could learn to make better choices. In my life, those were people (and still are people) who make measuring greatness easier!

I’m very thankful for the great people in my life. You don’t likely know their names unless you’ve heard me talk about them here. They’re not famous or noteworthy for having done great things as we usually measure greatness. But they made big differences in my life and in the lives of others, too.

As the chipmunks scurry from rock to rock it’s easy to tell that winter is coming. Within a few days, we’re forecasted to have our first freeze. It won’t be long now until the nights are very cold and the days require wool caps. The critters know winter is coming. They’re fattening up. Storing food away. Doing whatever they must to survive during the coming months. I’m supposing their thankful for whatever food they’re finding right now.

Some of them won’t survive. I wonder if the lack of preparation will cost some of them. So these animals who act out of instinct make stupid choices like we sometimes do? Are some of them careless? Do some of them neglect to think about the negative consequences of their choices? I don’t know, but I suspect so. Some will pay the price.

Others will suffer through no fault of their own. Age will catch up with some. Sickness will strike others. Some will become food for predators. Things happen.

As winter approaches I watch these animals go about their morning business. And I wonder what they’re thinking. What they may be thankful for. What their plans might be as they each hunker down in their own way for colder weather.

It’s put my life in perspective watching them work diligently today as they start a new day. Mostly, I suspect they’re doing today what they do every day – working to make life continue today. Likely not making any long-term plans. Maybe making no plans at all. Survival is the main thing, but watch squirrels chase each other, or birds or chipmunks do the same and you realize there’s some play involved too.

I’m trying to keep my socked feet warm this morning, but I don’t yet feel like putting on shoes. So I wrap a blanket around them and sit under an outdoor radiant heater that provides just enough relief warmth to make it tolerable wearing flannel. I’m thinking about these critters. Thinking of what I might learn from them. Mostly wishing I was as nimble and agile.

Last night it dipped below freezing for the first time since last winter. Some great things happen with the first freeze. Mosquitos disappear. That’s the priority in our part of the country. A big plus. But the skies are about as blue as they ever get. Clouds clear and there are many days when there’s not a single cloud in the sky. My father, who is now 97 and a World War II veteran, has said that during his days stationed in England during the war he’d tell the Brits about blue-sky days where not a single cloud could be seen. The Brits didn’t believe him. But it’s true. Especially when winter comes.

I’m making notes. Making plans. Not just for the new month ahead – December – but longer term. For the new year. And for the next couple of years. It feels like a good time to get more concrete in what I’d like to make happen. Or at least the things I’d like to influence more heavily to happen. Time will tell whether any of our plans will come to fruition. It’s up to us to give it our best shot.

My dad is clearly in the winter of his life, but he still has plans, dreams, and goals. One never knows the moment when life here will end, but based on the odds, I’m clearly in the fall of my own life with winter coming up fast. 😉 My plans aren’t quite like my father’s, but I suspect few of us have identical plans. Generically, we all plan for life to be better. For business to be stronger. For the financial windfalls to be larger. For our lifestyles to be improved. For our health to remain well, or better. We plan for things to be better!

What are your plans?

How specific are they?

Do you have planned strategies to help you get there?

Do you have processes, specific actions you’re going to take, to advance you toward your ideal outcome?

In the second half of 2020, I’ve become increasingly fixated on anticipation of the ideal outcome. For starters, if it’s worth doing – it’s worth doing well. It’s worth being world-class at it. Or at least trying to be. And if that’s the ideal outcome, how much more fun is it to chase that than to pursue mediocrity?

Then why don’t more of us do that? I have theories, but I’m not sure. I suspect too many of us don’t think it’s possible so we talk ourselves out of it before we even begin to think too seriously about it. Others of us may be too lazy, thinking it just requires more work than we’re willing to put into it. All I know is that winning is so much more fun than losing. Being superior is so much more fun than being average. For me, it’s worth the effort and sacrifice.

Planning for success – and superior performance – isn’t a guarantee that we’ll achieve it. But I can guarantee that if you don’t plan for it, and put in the work to achieve it – you won’t find it. That’s a sure bet!

I’m ending the year more optimistic than I’ve been in a long time. No, it’s got nothing to do with the White House. Or which party wields the most power in the Senate or Congress. It’s a choice. Pure and simple. A choice.

Few things are more powerful than a mind made up.

That includes a foolish mind determined to live as stupidly as one can. It includes a wise mind determined to be as profitable as possible, too. I have a hobby podcast called Leaning Toward Wisdom (one I started when my kids were in high school – many moons ago) because a lifelong goal has been to lean increasingly more away from my own foolishness and more toward wisdom. It’s a work in progress.

Well, early this year – before the pandemic arrived – I made up my mind to embrace optimism as much as I possibly could. Not some rose-colored glasses idealism, but true, genuine optimism that might drive me to behave in ways that best suited achieving something better.

I got very precise. Clear.

Precision provides a vision that’s very different than some generic viewpoint. If you dream of doing something and your vision is general – non-specific – it’s not likely going to serve you as well. But to get down to the nitty-gritty details of the thing – whatever it may be – fuels us. Neuroscience has proven that we have a capacity to insert ourselves into situations we’ve never experienced and just vivid imagination works to give our brains the same reactions as when we really experience those things. In other words, our minds don’t often know the difference between real and imagined. At least in some sense.

That’s a pretty powerful thing. To know we have the capacity to think about something, with clear, vivid detailed imagination and by doing so insert ourselves into a reality which just might fuel our actions and behaviors to help make that happen. It’s where the pursuit of the ideal outcome starts!

So get very clear and detailed about your desired outcomes. Make them measurable and concrete. Avoid vagueness. Avoid the generic. Be precise.

Now answer the question – how am I going to proceed? And yes, that includes asking, “Who can help me get there?” Again, precision pays. Make concrete next steps. What’s the first thing you’re going to do? Then what?

If you’re like me – and most all the rest of us mere mortals – you’ll likely find not every step works as we had hoped or planned. So we’ll adjust. Embrace it. It’s part of the process of learning, growing and improving. We figure things out as we go. What we thought we knew when we started, we quickly learn we had it wrong. No problem. Now, we have the chance to fix it and get it right so we can plan the next steps.

Life is that constant, never-ending quest of getting it right, or wrong – so we can keep figuring it out.

My plans for the rest of 2020 and for 2021 include a more intense focus on finding ways to achieve measurable improvement. It’s how I’ve spent my entire career – finding ways to get better – but for the past dozen years or so I’ve been concentrating on helping others figure it out. Back in the summer, I began working to craft a framework that would accelerate the learning so leaders could more systematically achieve high-performing cultures. You’ll start hearing more of that content here starting in January 2021.

Those are work/career/professional plans. Like you, they fuel personal plans. My wife and I have some exciting things that we’re working on personally. Her career and my career are important components to the process because it’s by way of our professional lives that we can hit our personal goals. Well, at least some of them.

As the cold creeps deeper into my socked feet, I realize it’s time to go inside and get fully dressed for the day. Watching nature, including all these critters, I’m more aware than ever how it all works together. Work. Play. Rest. Maybe life was different long ago. More compartmentalized. I’m not sure, but I know my work has never been very disconnected from the rest of my life. These squirrels, birds, and chipmunks aren’t one-dimensional. As humans, you and I are even less so because our lives are much more complex than these animals in the woods.

That’s another part of leadership that we too often discount – the impact of one area of our life on the other areas. We like to think we’re able to neatly put things in place and keep them from spilling over into other areas. The leaders enduring a messy divorce is not immune to having that messiness enter all areas of their life. Leaders suffering health challenges are sure to find themselves suffering other challenges provoked by that challenge. It can’t be helped. That whole “leave it at the door” notion is absurd. And it’s not human.

My commitment as we begin December 2020 – a December none of us ever saw coming given the pandemic – is to serve more people to find ways where challenges can be better managed and opportunities better seized. It’s an easy commitment for me to make because I know a secret.

Who you surround yourself with makes the difference!

I want you to surround yourself with people who make a positive difference. People capable and willing to help you overcome, endure, and persevere. Part of my plan for my own life is to continue the process of saying NO to some things so I can say YES to more profitable things – things that will make me better. Things that will help me grow.

That’s my wish for you, too. I hope I’m helping you.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Admittedly, humility is a trite topic when we’re talking about leadership. It gets lots of lip service, but less practice. Humility sounds wonderful as a characteristic, but many people disbelieve it has real power. And real power is largely what folks clamor to obtain. Those who have it can be desperate to hang onto it.

Making decisions. That’s the name of the game. We want power, control, and authority. We want to make the decision and issue orders. There’s no place for humility when that’s the objective. So we may think.

Let me tell you what prompted today’s show.

Before the pandemic shut us all down I was engaged with a number of groups about making a leadership presentation. They had similar desires – growing and developing leadership that could propel them forward. Each group had so-called leaders, but each group felt leadership was largely ineffective.

At the heart of the conversations about how I might be able to help them was culture, a term I insisted we talk about it. Specifically, I wanted to hear their own description of the culture – the environment, the feelings, the opinions of the group members.

Here are some of the words and phrases used to describe the cultures. Keep in mind, this is how THEY described themselves – their own culture.

“Participation is sparse.”

“Some are always chasing the spotlight for attention and power.”

“Most of us don’t speak up. Ever.”

“We’re told our opinions matters, but nobody listens so most of the time we just keep quiet.”

“We’re told what to do. Nobody ever asks us anything.”

“Decisions come down without any discussion.”

“You can’t have a conversation because it feels like people have their mind made up.”

Sound’s inviting, huh?

Sadly, it describes too many groups and teams. Long ago I figured out that leadership challenges largely stem from how people view authority. And how badly some seek authority.

In my coaching practice, I’m blessed because I always – 100% of the time – am commissioned to work with high achievers and performers. I don’t do remedial work. Nothing wrong with it, it’s just not my calling. By the time I was 25 I learned I wasn’t a zero to 60 guy, but instead was a 60 to 240 guy. That is, I’m innately focused on taking an existing performance and finding paths forward to even higher performance. It was true in the businesses I operated and it’s been true in the teams I’ve assembled, and now in the people I coach. For me, the biggest question is, “How much better can it be?”

I say that because it’s rare for me to encounter a client with a poor view of authority. My clients all lean very heavily into recognizing their responsibility and are very intent on upping their game. Along the way, we almost always engage in conversations about lessons learned from the bad bosses they had along the way. Invariably we have a discussion about authority and why some people see it as decision-making rather than service. It’s at the heart of many leadership challenges because too many bosses lack the humility to lead.

My focus on leadership humility centers on curiosity, compassion, and understanding. These are the path forward for all leaders, even those who are already high achievers and high performers. We can all improve our abilities in these 3 areas.

The reason I focus on this triad of traits is because humility fosters these and lack of humility erodes them. The real focal point of humility? Others. When it’s not about others it’s about us, but not in a selfish way. It’s about our willingness to question ourselves. It’s about our commitment to our own learning, growth and improvement so we can help others do the same.

Permit a made up story to illustrate.

The entire team is assembled in the room. There is no boss present, only peers. This is a meeting to discuss an opportunity. A challenge. Take your pick. The purpose of the meeting is to have the first discussion about it. These people are present to provide their insights on the matter. Each of them has a perspective that could be valuable to the overall clarity.

As the meeting begins one person, the self-appointed leader of the group, takes command of the meeting. He begins by stating his views on the matter as well as his suggestions on what should be done. When he winds down he asks if anybody else has anything to offer. He’s instantly shut down more than half the group who simply want to leave and be done with this meeting. Most are silently frustrated by his obvious quest to be in charge. But some brave soul pipes up and tactfully states a few opposing viewpoints. Mr. “I’m In Charge” immediately discounts these opposing views, attempting to point out why they’re not the best course. Or, as is quite often the case, Mr. “I’m In Charge” ignores the comments altogether and then asks, “Anybody else?” It’s as though the first person never uttered a word. This teaches the rest of the group that there’s little point in speaking up because you’re not going to be heard anyway.

This happens in group meetings held in person or virtually all over the globe. It happens when no boss is present or when the boss is present. Most people go along to get along. And all along the way people are dying inside, along with their brilliant insights, ideas and suggestions. All because somebody driven by their own desire to be in charge lacks humility.

No curiosity about what others are thinking or feeling.

No compassion for anybody but themselves.

No desire to understand.

But I’ve found it begins with no urge, willingness, or commitment to questioning themselves. No desire or willingness to get better because they’re already the smartest person present. How can you improve when you’re already the best? 😀

That’s the great thing about high performers. They don’t have to convinced. They already believe in the power of questioning themselves – and in having others question them. They already know the power of the collective inside whatever room they’re in is infinitely wiser than they are alone. High achievers are committed to finding ways to better leverage the power of others. That’s why these are the people I serve!

But let’s end with some potential bits of help, some tips that might provide a path forward even for those who are bent like Mr. “I’m In Charge.”

1. Don’t be the first to express your viewpoint. Hold your peace. Resist telling others what you think or how you feel. Respect others by first respecting yourself. Enough to keep quiet.
2. Ask others what they think or how they feel. Solicit the insight from others with the aim of learning and understanding.
3. Try to have compassion and understanding for where they’re coming from, even if (and especially if) it opposes how you think. You don’t have to agree in order to embrace curiosity, compassion, and understanding.
4. Solicit the quietest people in the room. They’re often the more thoughtful, deliberate people. They could be the shyest, too. No matter, lead the way to make sure more folks are involved.

Humility is the path forward for YOU and everybody else. Nobody loses. It makes you more approachable. Safer. It fosters more insights from others. There just isn’t any downside to it.

Fools think it’s the way of cowards or low achievers. They think bravado and insistence is the path to authority. They incorrectly see leadership as authority, but they’re not the same. People make up their own minds on who they’ll follow. Or who will influence them. Somebody imposes a boss on us. It doesn’t make them leader. Leadership’s power is first over one’s own pride and ego, and next, over one’s ability to influence others because they know their best interest is the primary consideration.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 26:40 — 24.5MB)

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Technically, a litmus test is used to test the acidity or alkaline content of something, but we often use it more generically to mean a decisively indicative test. Some means of determining the validity of something.

Eight or nine weeks into this global pandemic have shown us the best of us and the worst of us. Maybe you’ve seen John Krasinski’s YouTube channel, Some Good News. He’s Jim from the hit TV series, The Office. Well, more currently, he’s Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime. His weekly YouTube episodes are just what they claim – some good news. There are lots of good news stories of people behaving with extraordinary kindness and generosity.

Then, there’s politics. Or coronavirus opinions. Just today the Speaker of the House called the President “morbidly obese.” The hateful language runs both ways. Wide-open. As does opinion on COVID19. It’s all a hoax. It’s going to kill us all. One extreme spews hateful sentiment toward the other extreme.

Weeks ago I began muttering a question that has since become one of my litmus test questions for any human interaction on any topic. Hint: I’ve got three of them now.

“Is this helpful?”

But that’s just the beginning. We need to embrace it more deeply.

Let’s take all the political jaw-jacking that goes on in our nation’s capital. I don’t care how you vote. I don’t care who you support or who you oppose. The problem isn’t one party or the other. It’s everybody. And it proves how insensitive we can be to those we oppose and how sensitive we can be to those who oppose us.

I’m not naive about positioning, marketing, and leveraging media coverage. There’s another game being played under the surface by both Democrats and Republicans. Both sides know the importance of visibility and air time. That’s largely why the rhetoric continues to escalate. Being quotable trumps NOT being quotable. Even if the quote is hateful, foolish, or downright idiotic.

Is it helpful? Well, they think it’s helpful to their agenda. And those who agree with them think it’s helpful. That’s why we have to go a bit deeper and ask, “Helpful for what?”

It’s not likely very helpful for running the country, but it’s very helpful for trying to gain a political advantage.

Yeah, I know. It’s all so big and so out of control, there’s not likely much reining it in. It’s just a grand illustration of poor behavior among people who enjoy wearing the title “leader.”

Okay, enough about politics. I hate politics. I’m a Capitalist. 😉

During this pandemic, I’ve heard lots of people comment about the strife and contention. Personally. Professionally. In many areas of life. I’m hearing complaints, “They won’t engage in an honest discussion.” Hot topics have long been difficult subjects in which to have an open, honest dialogue, but this pandemic has given some greater opportunities to dig into viewpoints and opinions they don’t want to be challenged. It’s not helpful.

When we think about leveraging the power of others in our lives we’re really focused on surrounding ourselves with people willing and capable of helping us grow, improve, and become better. I realize not everybody wants that. Mostly the highest achievers among us do. I’m optimistic that others will see the value and pursue it more vigorously, which is why I’m dedicated to evangelizing the message through this podcast, and in every other way possible.

Who you surround yourself with matters a great deal. 

As you take a closer look at your circle of friends and influence the litmus test question may be useful if not invaluable.

“Is this helpful?”

“How is this helpful?”

Let’s personalize it though. Unlike national politics or sports debates for entertainment, let’s make it as personal as possible. Ask the litmus test question about YOUR life. Remember, we’re interested in our growth, improvement, and opportunities. And we’re mindful that the noise in our lives has an impact on us. Surely I don’t have to convince you of that fact.

I’ll tell you some things I’ve done during this pandemic to help myself. I didn’t do it right away, but by the time we entered week 3 of staying at home I’d had enough of the social media grand-standing close-mindedness. I unfollowed, unfriended, muted, unfollowed, or whatever else I needed to do to silence the people who proved unwilling to engage in open, honest dialogue. For me, most of these people were hollering loudly about how the pandemic was fabricated and not real. Others were constantly complaining about government overreach. Still, others decided it was the right time to further their viewpoint about everything from climate change to having children vaccinated.

After a few weeks of being bombarded by it all I started asking myself – and some of these other people who surrounded me in social media – “How is this helpful?”

That only sparked further vitriol. An unexpected surprise that I should have seen coming. To be fair, I asked that question only of myself at first. I simply tried to understand the highly opinionated viewpoint. Mostly I wanted to know why people felt the way they did. Why did the conspiracy theorist think the coronavirus was totally made up? Why did others think when the governor of Texas gave “stay at home” orders that it was government overreach and violation of our liberties? Mostly, I was very curious why so many seemed devoid of understanding and compassion – even for government officials who were clearly up against something so colossal and unforeseen.

My initial notion was that people were under enormous pressure. Perhaps their businesses were heavily impacted. Maybe their personal income was negatively impacted. But that wasn’t the case with the most highly opinionated people. I began to scroll back through the social media of these people, intentionally going back months prior to the pandemic. Turns out, the highly opinionated people – many of them – had largely been behaving that way before. I just hadn’t been so sensitive to it I reckoned. Until now.

That caused me to take a serious look at people, one-at-a-time. And I asked myself, “Are they helpful? How?”

Care to guess what I concluded about almost all of them? There were only a few exceptions and most of them were folks I just found entertaining because I found their commentary kinda funny. And my new-found sensitivity wasn’t based on my own viewpoints because it was week 3 and I honestly didn’t have any strong opinions about much…which isn’t shocking because I can be largely indifferent about MANY things. It’s a talent. 😉

I concluded that most of these voices weren’t helpful to me in any way. They contributed nothing to my personal growth, improvement, or opportunities. But I dug one level deeper before ditching them. “What will I miss if I walk away from them?” When I concluded “nothing,” I began to knock them off my list one by one.

Simultaneously I began to get more finicky with Linkedin. Lately, 9 out of 10 requests hit me with a sales pitch immediately upon approval. I used to think it was snotty to not accept Linkedin invitations, but I’ve changed my position on that. “How is this helpful?” I started asking that question of the connection requests. And I was willing to give people the biggest benefit of the doubt. Sadly, most connection requests still blitz me with an overt automated sales pitch the second I accept their invitation. Oh, well.

By week 4 I was really getting into a groove of looking at the voices that influenced me in social media, my content consumption patterns, and the people in my real life. You know what I mean, the actual people with whom I have some relationship.

It was time to distill the questions into something more than on being helpful. There was something more valuable to me when it came to the people who were physically in my life. It was a question that was congruent with the other two and it gave me a great trifecta of litmus test questions.

“Are they safe?”

I’ve got people in my life who are unsafe. Many of them have never proven safe, which is why my relationship with them is very casual and shallow. I keep them that way because unsafe people – for me, at least – are people who I don’t fully trust. I shoved this litmus test question to the top when I started to closely examine the people who know me personally. That is, unlike social media connections, these people know who I am and I know who they are. We know each other by name. That’s what I mean when I say these were people I know “in real life.”

What does it mean, to be unsafe? For me, you can determine what it means for you, it means they’re harshly judgmental, critical and don’t have my best interest at heart. It means they’ll readily use how I feel or what I think against me. Safe people are just the opposite. They exercise understanding and compassion. They won’t betray me or relish my failures.

Are they safe?

Are they helpful?

How are they helpful?

That became the sequence as I examined this circle of people. You may think, “Well, if they’re not safe, how can they be helpful?” Good question, but I have at least one answer. Contrarians or people who you know oppose you can serve to help you grow, improve, and spot opportunities. Not all of them, but some of them. Maybe.

Some in my unsafe circle are helpful. They give me an idea of what their peers are thinking. By staying in touch or staying connected with them I’m able to know what’s important to them. It helps me better understand them and what they stand for, even if they are unsafe for me personally. That’s valuable to me. That’s HOW they’re helpful.

If the answer to that second question is, “They’re not helpful,” then I’m happy to politely steer clear of them as much as possible. The reality is that in order to say “yes” to the people who make us better we must say “no” to those who don’t.

I suspect we not often enough think about these things choosing instead to simply accept the facts of those who surround us. I’m guilty. But we all know we have people in our lives who are toxic, hurtful or worse. We just keep moving on with them in our lives. Likely because doing something about it means having a conversation or confrontation we’d rather avoid. But maybe not. It’s up to us to decide. It’s also up to us to figure out if the price for that pain is worth ridding ourselves of the person is unsafe and unhelpful.

In our quest to improve the people who surround us it’s important to note this isn’t based on some superiority on our part. It’s about taking individual responsibility for ourselves. Wisdom is getting it right in real-time. Making smart and wise choices in the moment. Smart and wise are determined by thoughts, decisions and actions that make us better. Not selfish, or self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. That’s why every wise parent urges their kids to select quality people to be their closest friends. We ought to embrace that behavior in our own lives…all of our lives.

These litmus test questions can help us as we figure it out for ourselves. Next time we’ll focus on how we can be a person for others – a person who can make sure we pass the litmus test questions for them.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

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Here in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, we began to be safe at home five weeks ago. Many Americans didn’t think March would ever end. Now it seems like April won’t either. Just today Dallas County’s city council voted to keep the stay at home order in place until May 15th. This global coronavirus pandemic has stunned all of us, providing this surreal daily existence none of us could have imagined.

Shock.

Stunned disbelief.

Panic.

Dread.

Fear.

Daily we hear these words describing how people feel about the current state of things. Business owners are just as prone as anybody else, maybe more so, to feel these things. Those of us who serve business owners have been busy doing whatever we can to help entrepreneurs face the challenge. Along the way, we’ve listened to heart-wrenching stories of business owners who risk losing everything, including the companies that were soaring high just six weeks ago.

Let’s focus on the opportunities, positives and high-potential moving forward. It’s easy to dwell on what’s wrong. I mean, much of it is very obvious. Which is why the throngs are likely going to spend their time there. And it’s why we have this extraordinary opportunity – an unprecedented opportunity for our lifetime – to make something special happen.

I agree with Mark Cuban who has said in a recent podcast interview that now is a great time to start a business. Click the link below to the interview he did with YOUR FIRST MILLION with host Arlan Hamilton.

Cuban has always been a fan of sweat equity and forgoing debt as much as possible. Sound advice for existing businesses and start-ups. However, if you’re operating a small business and you’re able to leverage the SBA packages offered by the U.S. government, which could be morphed into grants (instead of loans) if you use the money according to the rules…then, by all means, jump all over that if you haven’t yet.

Part of the reason Cuban is such a fan of avoiding taking on investment is our ability to develop our own vision for the future. Business owners mostly love control and hate having to answer to others. It’s why we carved out the path to do our own thing. Debt makes us beholden and we hate that.

Cuban is a contrarian against the two prevailing business thoughts of the moment. One is double down and work super hard while others are sitting back trying to figure out what to do. Two is to rest and regroup while the whole planet has been disrupted. Cuban has a third alternative. Take small steps. Get and keep your priorities where they most likely belong – on your family’s welfare. Simultaneously take small steps to advance and move forward. As the saying goes, “Inch by inch anything is a cinch.”

Six weeks ago people weren’t likely taking things all that seriously. I know I wasn’t.

Five weeks ago things began to change. Suddenly, the NBA shut down, followed quickly by March Madness being canceled. That got our attention.

Then the other sports leagues followed suit. And many of us were in areas of the country where our local governments ordered us to stay at home. Suddenly, businesses were shut down, or they shut themselves down before the government did it. Apple Stores, for instance, closed up shop.

Then the mad dash for paper towels, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer. Suddenly, within less than a week our local grocery stores looked like they had been missed a week’s worth of deliveries. Shelves were bare. Everything from meat to eggs to paper products…GONE. Nowhere to be found.

It became very real very quickly. It was shock and awe for all of us.

Then the furloughs and terminations began. And the unemployment soared. Many of us were likely impacted because business owners whose doors were shut could no longer make payroll for work that couldn’t be done anyway. And our lease payments were coming due with little or no revenue coming in. Now it was time to panic. So most of us did.

For some, the panic is still in full swing. For others, we figured we’d best get busy trying to figure something out.

Universal Vulnerability To The Rescue

A funny thing happened on the way to isolating ourselves at home. We weren’t able to single ourselves out from the herd. The entire herd of humanity was experiencing the same thing. For the first time in our lives, everybody was in the same boat. From famous Hollywood actors to pop stars to billionaire business people, we were all huddling with our immediate families inside our homes. Nevermind that some had nicer digs in which to isolate themselves. For the first time in our history of being alive, we had one big thing in common.

Our common challenges gave us a gift.

Vulnerability. The vulnerability of being human.

“It’s going to be brutal. There’s no way to sugarcoat it at all. And when we get to the other side, companies are going to be operating differently,” Cuban said on Fox Business Network just this morning (Wednesday, April 22, 2020). Cuban predicts 2 to 3 years to get back what most of us considered “normal.”

Wait a minute, didn’t you say you weren’t going to dwell on the bad? Yes, I did. And I’m sticking with that notion. What Mark said isn’t negative as much as what many of us believe is the truth. But none of us, including Cuban, know for sure.

He’s right about one thing, based on information I know firsthand from various CEOs and owners. Companies with more than 500 employees are hit as hard, if not harder than small outfits. The companies with revenues in the hundreds of millions and more than 500 employees need more. They need more capital, more revenue and more profits. Size matters. Big animals need to eat more than small ones. Companies in the wild are no different.

Whether you believe in what Cuban says or not isn’t the point. You absolutely believe in the uncertainty and in that uncertainty is the high value of vulnerability. Universal vulnerability.

Just yesterday I spoke with a Vistage Chair in Boston, Phil Holberton. You can watch or listen to the conversation Leo Bottary and I had with Phil for our joint podcast, What Anyone Can Do.

Phil commented on what I’ve heard from a number of people involved in mastermind or peer groups – people are coming closer together. Now more than ever!

It only took a global pandemic to make it happen.

But hey, it DID happen. So that’s a good thing. Not the pandemic, but our universal (mostly) realization that we could use some help. And that maybe we could help somebody else.

Maybe you’ve seen this heart-wrenching story about Ken Bembow, a British veteran, who has been sleeping with a photo of his late wife Aida following her death nine months ago. A caregiver made a pillow with his wife’s picture on it so he could sleep with that instead. The video is sure to make you tear up. It speaks to our collective humanity during our collective vulnerability.

Scroll through Instagram. You won’t find the normal stuff there. Go back 6 weeks ago and it was the same old crap. Fancy cars. Fancy locations. Just all FANCY. People showing off. People fronting. People faking it. Little to no vulnerability. Just mostly fraudulent posing. Aimed at making others envious or jealous.

Gone.

Done.

Now kindness, compassion and service have bubbled to the surface where they always belonged.

Now business owners once cocky and sure are surrendering themselves to peers admitting that they’re clueless about what next step to take. The fear of not knowing what to do has finally trumped our fear of looking smart. ‘Bout time.

I HATE that it took a global pandemic to get us there, but here is where we are. And I’m during you and me to seize the moment. Let’s make full use of this disaster. Let’s refuse to go back and start hiding again behind our false bravado and arrogance. Let’s wise up and keep the wisdom move forward. Let’s step on the accelerator and get moving faster than ever in leveraging our humanity.

Because there are bound to be better answers found together than those answers we find by ourselves. 

Shortly after things grew very grim I made a decision with my own professional services. For starters, I slashed my rate. I’ve never been a “by the hour” guy, but I went to a $50 an hour Zoom video conferencing rate just to try to help as many people as possible. Next, I decided to launch The Peer Advantage by Bula Network free of charge. Both seemed like good ideas at the time and neither of them was aimed at any sort of money grab (obviously). But both backfired magnificently. 😀

The global disruption was so pervasive. The fear was so widespread. The panic was so real. Nobody – and I mean NOBODY, including me – was ready to do anything for what seemed forever. We collectively stood around like deer in headlights. Not knowing what to do.

The lesson was learned though and I have no regrets. I was like you, just trying to figure out what I could do that might make a difference. My business is likely very different from yours though. I’m a one-man-band. That’s by design. I have no inventory. I have only my wife and me to worry about. This affords me the aim of my business design – the ability to focus on the work and those who might benefit from my services. I was fortunate in that I could squarely aim at how I might be of greater service to more people. I wasn’t being altruistic, just practical. Keep in mind, I’m an INFJ so “counselor” is my natural wiring. I was merely leaning more heavily into who I am.

People were too afraid. My empathy compelled me to fully understand it, too. In those first moments of wanting to be helpful, I had neglected to understand the scope and depth of the uncertainty and fear. Honestly, I hadn’t even come to grips with my own anxiety, worry, and fear. Like news of sudden death, we all needed time to process what was happening to us.

So here we are about 5 weeks or so into the stay-at-home routine. Most of us.

Even essential businesses have been disrupted. Mostly in a bad way, but some in a good way. Walmart and others are experiencing quantum leaps in demand for their goods and services. Cuban is likely right when he predicts we’ll learn of 30 or so companies who will make a name for themselves during this ordeal – or the outgrowth after it’s over.

As days rolled into weeks and weeks have morphed into a few months, thankfully the shock wore off. Hopefully, most of us “came to ourselves” realizing that we’d best get on with figuring out what to do next. Enter that vulnerability again.

Some have confessed for the first time in their professional lives they’ve opened up and been willing to ask for help. And many have wondered why they didn’t do it before…after experiencing such positive results when they realize others with a different viewpoint have quite a lot to offer. Nevermind berating ourselves over past neglect. Who cares? What matters is this is where we are today. And while it’s bad, it’s not all bad.

We needed to overcome our shock. We do not need to overcome our newfound vulnerability and willingness to lean on each other.

Your company has employees. You have suppliers. You have partners – banks, real estate people, advertising people, etc.

Leverage all of them.

Huddle with your employees. Invite them to join you on a Zoom call to simply let them know you care about them as people. Lean into humanity…your own and theirs.

Share with them your challenges and ask them what they think. Lead productive conversations about what your new normal might look like. Allow them to be part of the solution and opportunity. You need it. They need it. Worst yet, your company needs it.

You’ve likely already had many conversations with your landlords. Figure out ways to make it work so everybody minimizes the downside. Maximize the opportunity together.

Same with suppliers and other partners. Remember, everybody you talk to is going through the same ordeal. You’re going to find – maybe for the first time in your life – that you’re able to have the most open, transparent conversations you’ve ever had with all of these people. The result? You’ll get closer!

You’ll also likely develop some answers you wouldn’t otherwise have found. And some opportunities along the way.

I’ve heard quite a few stories of employees who have helped owners identify newfound opportunities in this crisis. And I don’t mean just making masks and other products useful during this time. I mean companies whose employees have figured out new products and services to offer. Things congruent with their existing business.

In recent weeks I’ve seen a theme emerge among some innovative leaders and their teams. They’re looking past the shock to begin to think, “What are we really good at that might provide new opportunities for us?”

Is your company great at sales? Logistics? Manufacturing? Quality control? Service delivery? What?

Most of us operate businesses where we get stuck thinking we’re in the car business or the widget business. Reality is often very different. We’re just do deep into our industry we can’t see it. Now is the time to venture out beyond the bounds of your limited vision and leverage the power of others to see if there may not be an even bigger opportunity for you.

Do not go it alone. You’ve been there, done that. It didn’t work so well.

You thought you had it all figured out when times were great. You – like most of us – felt it would never end. Sky was the limit. Until the sky fell.

So don’t retreat back into the same behaviors that may have prevented you from future-proofing your company like you should have. Time to saddle up and ride ahead. Go slow. Go fast. That’s for you to decide for yourself. But GO. And make sure you’re riding alongside people willing to help you – and people willing to let you help them.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Randy

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“A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”
– Winston S. Churchill

Sir Winston had a way with words. That’s for sure.

Many bosses and leaders regularly address their team. Most of the time, these presentations or speeches are delivered during rather informal meetings. Sometimes they’re more formal and include some slick slide deck. Sadly, we’re in a meeting intensive era where workplace meetings often consume more time than actually getting anything done. We’re often busier meeting about the work than we are doing the work. So it goes.

Constructing and delivering effective presentations or speeches to your team is a worthwhile study, but that’s not my point today. Today, I want to focus on how we speak to our team to foster higher performance and a more achievement-driven culture.

What we say matters.

How we say it also matters.

How long and how often we say it can matter, too.

If you don’t think so, just ask any successful professional sports team coach who has been fired?

People stop listening. Some may never start.

Jack Welch died a week or so ago. In spite of how you may feel about him as a corporate leader, this much is true – the man had the ability to quickly turn a 300,000 person behemoth. Nobody in corporate history had proven as effective as Welch in getting a message through to the troops, up and down the chain. His candor cut through the clutter and got into the hearts and minds of GE employees faster than companies many times smaller than GE. General Electric had no peers during Welch’s tenure. That’s why Wall Street loved him. The man delivered financial results, not just speeches.

How much time do you spend on your speaking ability? Are you growing and improving your ability to communicate so everybody understands…clearly?

Some leaders put the burden on others. “It’s their job to know and understand what I want,” says one CEO. That’s a foolish perspective. He’s the one doing the talking. They’re listening. Yet he wants to put the full burden on them while he hides behind the fact that he’s the boss.

I’ve worked with top-level leaders who struggled with all sorts of communication challenges. Some go to great lengths to avoid confrontation. Others struggle to stand in front of a sizeable crowd. Still, others find saying precisely what they want difficult. I even worked with one CEO who intentionally communicated with ambiguity in order to create what she called, “productive tension.” Being unfamiliar with that phrase I asked and was given this explanation. “People are left to wonder about it and that makes them work harder to please me.” Interesting. Horribly abusive in my opinion, but interesting. 😉

What are we trying to accomplish when we speak? Or write?

It’s important to know the answer before we communicate. Situations dictate different desired outcomes.

What you need to communicate can range from bad news to good news, from major problems to exciting opportunities, from stern warnings to enthusiastic encouragement. Public speakers learn to know the audience. Know who you’re speaking to. Top leaders know who they’re speaking to already – or they think they do. But context, the specific context of the people, matters. Not all the people in your organization are capable of hearing the exact same communication. That doesn’t mean they can’t get the same, or similar, message, but you’d better not deliver it identically to everybody.

So you have to figure out what you need to communicate – and that will determine what you say and how long you say it. It’ll also likely impact how long you want to spend saying it.

Dallas Stars’ hockey Stanley Cup-winning coach, Ken Hitchcock, used to talk about addressing his team after a loss. He’d say that most losses meant not even entering the dressing room after the game. He argued they knew they had failed. He didn’t feel any need to call their attention to the obvious. Besides, he felt the next day’s practice would provide a bit of time and distance where they could more critically view the videotape and their bad performance. Hitch understood what he was trying to accomplish.

How do want people to feel about what you say?

Yes, feelings matter. How people feel about what you say will have a direct impact on their performance. So yes, feelings matter a great deal.

“I don’t care how they feel. I just care about what they do,” says the tough-nosed CEO. The problem is he fails to understand that people are driven to do based on how they feel. So don’t be stupid. Or hardheaded.

When you’re delivering bad news you may be tempted to just want to get through it. Avoid that. Instead, concentrate on how you want people to feel when you’re finished. Do you want them to feel safe? Secure? Do you want them to feel panic and despair? (don’t say that)

It’s fine to consider what you want them to DO once you’re finished but work your way back to how they need to feel first. Do you want to help them elevate their performance? Then make them feel things necessary to help foster that.

Sure, it’s perfectly fine – and sometimes appropriate – to insert some “productive tension.” I don’t have a problem with that idea. I just have a problem with creating it by making sure you’re not being clear. I find that’s a foolish use of it. I’ve used it effectively when trying to coach higher performance but found a person – or a team – rather unresponsive. You could read people the riot act or you could insert some tension to let them know things are now more serious. It can give people a stronger sense of urgency and accountability.

Design your communication to spark whatever feelings best serve the situation.

What do you want people to do? What’s the call to action?

Here’s a big shock. It can’t be, “Live better, be better, do better!” Way too generic.

Learn to be specific. Learn to always be clear. Make sure everybody – I mean EVERYBODY – understands what you’re saying.

If people leave your presence and huddle in the hallway asking, “I wonder what he meant by that?” — then you failed. If people are wondering what you mean, then how do you expect them to perform anything at a high level?

Make it clear what you need people to do with the information you’ve passed on. Ask them. Tell them. In the clearest terms appropriate for the setting. For example, you’re going to relay information to your executive team differently than you will to your entire organization. Likewise, the calls to action are going to be different, too.

This is why I began with how you want people to feel. Once you make each group feel whatever will help them move forward, now you have to arm them with a plan – a strategy – to do that. Move forward. You must avoid leaving people wondering, “Now what do we do?” You have to answer that for them with a clearly defined plan so they can act with confidence.

Keep people updated. Don’t leave people hanging.

How do you feel when somebody tells you something important, then they go dark? Exactly. Don’t do that to the people under your leadership. Remember, there’s a big difference in being a leader and just being the boss. Any rube can be a boss, but it demands skill and talent to be a leader. And it takes work. First on yourself.

You’re constantly asking, urging, coaching and challenging people to grow and improve. It seems only fit that you ought to be first to answer that bell. So don’t neglect your own self-improvement. 

Keep people in the loop. Modern culture is in love with the word, “engaged.” Or “engagement.” Keep them engaged. That’s assuming you did a great job all along the way to get them engaged.

Don’t let the good work you did falter because you drop the ball.

You’d never allow a salesperson to fully captivate a prospect, deliver a killer presentation and have an intensely engaged potential client — only to neglect to ask them for the sale. Or to get the sale, then neglect to follow-up with the necessary actions required to dazzle the client. You’re no better than that if you have all your people engaged, but then you forget about them and assume they’ll keep up.

“If it is to be, it’s up to me.” Stop relying on the system, the culture or the machine to do your work for you. Your communication is critical up and down the line. People want to hear from you. They need to hear from you.

Let me leave you with a powerful truth my experiences have taught me.

People need a story. They need to know the role they’re playing in the story. As their leader, it’s up to you to give them the story that can ideally serve them to perform at their best. If you fail to do that, they’ll write their own story. And it will be awful. People who lack knowledge and understanding will always write a bad story. They’ll write a story based on their fears and paranoia. How do you suppose that’ll help the performance inside your organization? Then take command of crafting the story and make sure you tell it well.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Randy

P.S. I grew up being a fan of Edwin Newman, the famed newsman who was fanatical about clear communication. Here’s an interview I found to help foster more curiosity about him and his work. Enjoy!

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I’m an introvert who can often appear like an extrovert. I follow a few social media accounts dealing with introversion. Just because. I chuckled over the weekend when I saw an Instagram post by IntrovertDear.

Dentist: Open up, please.

Me: Sometimes I get sad.

(Oh, you meant my mouth)

There seem to be three basic groups of people when it comes to opening up. There are those who open up to everybody. If you’ll listen, they’ll talk. And talk. And talk. And talk.

Then there are those who won’t talk. Hardly ever. They barely open up about anything to anybody. These are the “cat has your tongue” people.

Then there are those in the middle. Perhaps these make up the largest group, but I don’t know. These people open up sometimes. To some people. They’ll open up, but they’re discriminating.

If my 3 category theory is correct, then it means two-thirds of us have some difficulty opening up. Really opening up. We need the right circumstances and the right people. Without a safe space and safe people, we’re not likely going to open. And only those who exercise no discrimination don’t much care about the conditions for opening up.

I’ll argue that even those non-discriminating folks who talk and talk and talk with anybody and everybody aren’t truly opening up very often. Mostly, they’re just blabbering without reaching any depths that can accomplish something positive.

That likely means 100% of us (okay, we’ll allow a small degree of variance in case I’m not completely correct), find it tough to open up and engage in deep enough conversation to help us unearth the source of our challenges or the reality of our opportunities (and I’m not talking about our pie-in-the-sky-dreams). Depth of discussion required to get to the heart of a matter!

A decade plus of coaching executives, leaders and business owners has given me sufficient evidence to know how rare it is for most of us. People of all ages, all walks of life, all levels of formal education and experience have shown me how infrequently they’ve been able to find a safe place with safe people. I see it in their eyes. I hear it in their voice. It’s both a relief and a challenge.

The relief to finally open up and face something head-on without searching for hiding place is cathartic, but mostly – helpful in finding ways to move forward.

The challenge is in finding another strength – one beyond the strength to open up. It’s the strength to face the truth and deal with it. That process isn’t the same for everybody. Some process it more quickly and easily than others. Others can get ill. Physically. Nausea. Headache. I’ve watched it happen.

But those who make up their mind to lean into the process for the high value they know they’ll get — they put in the mental and emotional work knowing it’s safe and for their best outcome. Once they battle through the fear of false belief that their vulnerability will be used against them (and when they’re in a safe place among safe people that will never happen), then they take off like a rocket. They soar finding new altitudes that were impossible before. The weight of the constraints and challenges prevented them from going higher. Now those weights are lightened or removed. It doesn’t mean there are no problems from now on…it just means now they have a new resource with which to face them. And deal with them.

It’s amazingly rare though. The resource, that is.

There are 17 rare earth elements. No, I don’t know all their names. Or even have a rudimentary understanding of their power. Shoot, I can’t even pronounce their names. That’s how rare they are! 😉

But I know that entrepreneurs (really ANY humans) finding a safe space with safe people surrounding them so they can leverage the power of their peers is equally rare. It’s the 18th rare element – surrounding yourself with people who can be helped by you and who can help you.

Because it’s so rare some don’t even believe it exists. I mean if you’ve never seen it or experienced it, you may think it’s just somebody’s fantasy. But it’s very real. Fewer than 1% of entrepreneurs know it firsthand. I told you it was rare. Like most rare things, it’s extraordinarily valuable. But it’s not valuable because it’s rare. It’s valuable because it works. It transforms businesses and lives. It generates greater revenues and profits. It solves problems. It seizes opportunities.

There’s nothing like it because the resource is the human brain. Multiple human brains engaged in helping each other. Multiple viewpoints. Multiple experiences. Multiple approaches to problem-solving and opportunity-seizing. AI may be in the uptick, but leveraging the power of other human beings who are individually pursuing the same thing we are (entrepreneurs and business owners) is powerful because it provides us with the strength to open up, which gives us the opportunity to grow.

Tinker Bell said it best…

All you need is faith, trust and a little bit of pixie dust.

Be well. Do good. Grow great.

Randy

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A group of business owners is gathered. They’re from different industries and different markets. But they’re all safe with one another because they share a common existence. They’re business owners. Each well acquainted with the strains, struggles, and joys of running their own enterprise.

This isn’t some good ‘ol boys network club. Fact is, almost half of them are women so they’re not boys at all. It doesn’t matter because each of them is respected by every member of the group. Not just for their similarities, but for their differences.

The discussion is almost always focused on the trifecta of business building: getting new customers, serving existing customers better and not going crazy in the process. Today’s discussion is based on a question posed by one member, the owner of a remodeling company. She’s got a hypothetical question to ask the group. Well, it’s hypothetical for her.

After telling the group how she’s feeling bogged down in too many details, unable to give much consideration to a bigger picture – or look a bit more long-term as she’d like – she’s wondering,

“Should I hire a COO, somebody to help lighten the load, able to take the company to a new level of operational efficiencies?”

She tells the group she’s not taking any actions. Yet. She’s just wondering if it’s something she should more seriously consider. She’s never hired a COO before. Her right-hand person is more of a supervisor of the projects, as she describes him. He’s a talented project manager who has proven skillful at overseeing the various projects. She’s feeling the need to create a more formal organization to bridge the gap between some of her duties and the supervisor’s duties. So here she is thinking aloud with the group – a group of her peers – about what her best course of action might be.

For the next 40 minutes, the group leans into the conversation, asking her specific questions. They’re drilling down into areas to help her figure this out. Nobody is telling her what to do. In fact, at this point, nobody is even making suggestions. They’re working hard to understand – and help her better understand – what she may need.

Some of the questions are easy for her to answer. Others are very difficult. Not because they’re confrontational, but because she’s not considered them before. So she has to think carefully about them. In real-time.

Here’s what brings depth to the discussion. She trusts everybody in the room. They all trust her, too. Everybody is there to grow their business, their leadership, and their lives. They are NOT there to hold hands and sing kumbayah. They’re there to serve one another and to make this group the most effective, powerful business-building endeavor possible.

By the time the discussion moves to possible suggestions – the time when her peers can respectfully suggest she consider one course of action – or another…she’s thinking of a number of critical things she hadn’t thought about earlier.

The group has given her three different suggestions. They’ve shared their own experiences inside their companies. More discussion narrows the suggestions down to two. That’s her decision and the group supports her in kicking one of the suggestions to the curb.

What will she do?

She’ll do what she wants to do and the group will support her. They’ll all tell you the same thing. They don’t want anybody telling them what to do. That’s why they’re business owners. Each will declare they’re happily unemployable. 😉

For the final few minutes, there’s discussion to help her figure out the big question. “What next?”

She tells the group what she’d like to do next. In fact, she commits to about two critical steps to take toward her goal of building in more bandwidth so she can concentrate more on the longer-term vision of the company. She even commits to a faster timeframe that surprised some members of the group.

All the while there are three other members of the group who are thinking through the same thing for themselves. And every member is making an application to their own lives and situations.

This happens in internal groups, too.

A city government has seven directors. Each report to the City Manager. Their responsibilities are quite diverse. From a police chief to a director of economic development. What do they have in common? Quite a lot.

They all work for the same city and the same city manager. They all regularly perform work that impacts another department. When the department of public works needs to do some drainage improvement, the police department needs to be involved in traffic control.

The problem? It’s easy for each department to silo up and declare, “That’s not our job.” By putting them in a room together to have a peer-led discussion, they’re able to more clearly see how their work impacts others, and how they can improve collaboration to improve everybody’s performance.

In one meeting a director poses a hypothetical. “Have any of you thought about changing the role of your deputy directors? My deputies have separate responsibilities and duties based on our traditional hierarchical management. I’m wondering if there might be a better way and I’d like your thoughts.”

What follows is a high-energy creativity fueled conversation. Most of the directors have two deputy directors, but some just have one. Those with one work differently than those with two. Their insights prove helpful and the discussion deepens.

The group considers how changing the role might better serve their departments, the city, and the deputies. They want to elevate engagement and employee retention. They even are forced to face how they may feel threatened by having strong deputies. By the end of the hour, all seven directors confess it’s been one of the most profitable meetings they’ve ever had…all because a hypothetical situation was tossed onto the table.

Sometimes when we think the unthinkable we’re able to reach new heights of achievement. If I’m unable or unwilling to bring up a topic, I’m benefitted by your courage to do so. That’s why we surround ourselves with multiple peers. When I lack courage, others may bring it. When they lack it, I can bring it. It’s the power of the room and our collective ability to serve ourselves by serving each other.

Be well. Do good. Grow great!

Randy