Search Results for “The Power Of Peers” – Page 7

The Good Intentions Of Your Inner Critic - GROW GREAT Podcast Episode 4007

4007 The Good Intentions Of Your Inner Critic

Entrepreneurship, Leadership, Not Going Crazy In The Process, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 46:19 — 42.8MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | RSS | More

The Good Intentions Of Your Inner Critic - GROW GREAT Podcast Episode 4007

Sometimes people need professional therapy. Our pain sometimes demands it. Our ability or capacity to process our pain often needs some shoring up. I’m not a professional therapist. I’m just a business guy with a lifetime of striving toward higher self-awareness. Spend your lifetime studying people – including yourself – and you learn a few things. Mostly, I’ve learned there’s so much I just don’t know. Today’s show is not intended to serve in place of a mental health professional. Some of the most successful people find they need help because success brings about its own pain and pressure. My best advice is, take care of yourself.

________________________________________________________________________________

He was very small. Probably 4 years old or so. I don’t remember the specific circumstance, but I remember many conversations with him about the voice inside his head. I was probably 27 years old or so. He was my son, our first born. Patience, as with most 4-year-olds, wasn’t yet in his arsenal. My task was to help him discover it. Mostly, I was intent on helping him learn to develop resilience. My wife and I quickly realized that if he didn’t excel immediately, he grew frustrated and angry. His temper was mostly ignited at his own failure. We knew he was innately competitive.

I’m on one knee, bent down to look him in the face. The topic is the invisible little man who lives in his head and tells him, “You’ll never be able to do this. You’re an idiot for even trying. Look at you, you can’t even do it right the first time.” I worked diligently to help him understand that we all have an invisible little person living in our head who tells us lies, but we also have another little person telling us the truth – encouraging us, telling us we can do it, and urging us to silence the critic.

My son wasn’t getting professional help from me. I was a rank amateur with enough self-awareness and communication skills to know I didn’t want my little boy to grow up feeling defeated before he even began. Hitting a ball with a bat. Catching a ball. Anything like that frustrated him if he couldn’t master it immediately. Learning wasn’t acceptable. He was born with some wiring that compelled him to be instantly good, or worthless at doing something. To my wife and I, it went beyond the scope of childish expectation. Through the years we’d learn it was part of who he was. Our job was to equip him as best we could with the tenacity to understand it, manage it and harness it for his own good.

Today, he’s 35 and we couldn’t be prouder. Thankfully, we didn’t screw him up too badly. 😉 Now it’s his turn to avoid screwing up his own kids.

The other day I was remembering some of those down-on-one-knee talks with him, wondering where I got my stories about the “little man living in your head telling you all these negative things.” If I learned about it, I don’t remember. What I do remember is always knowing I had such a little man living in my head. He’s been there for as long as I can remember.

It’s likely where I first got my fondness for what was once called “self help” books. I’d read books, listen to audio tapes and consume quite a lot of that material, especially in my 20’s. It was interesting to me. I was mostly interested in the deeper stuff that had some scientific basis. I wasn’t so smitten with the rah-rah-sis-boom-bah stuff. That’s the stuff that jumped to the best seller list and I read too many of those, but mostly I found those trite and cheesy. I wanted substance. I wanted understanding.

In college psychology classes fascinated me. My library still contains a variety of books aimed at helping us understand ourselves and why we do what we do. Or why we fail to do other things we should. I wasn’t smart enough to pursue science, but I was highly interested. As a business guy – even as a hi-fi salesman during college – studying people was always the underlying reason for it I suppose. Finding out what people wanted and why. Listening to them tell their stories. Watching their faces as they talked of a favorite record, or band. It was all pretty interesting and I suppose in some small way I figured that if I could develop skills to better understand people, then maybe I could better understand myself. Maybe that was the point all along.

Understand Yourself Better

Doesn’t everybody have an inner critic? I suppose so. I can’t imagine somebody not having one. Or more than one.

I’ve already admitted my personal fascination with my own (and my children’s) inner critic and self-esteem. My children we born in the early 80’s and may well be the last kids to be raised by old-school parents who didn’t subscribe to participation trophies. We wanted our son and daughter to be independent, stand up for what they believed in, do the right thing no matter what and figure out what occupation would best serve them and their own families. They were experience driven. Much more so than my baby boomer generation ever was. We were materialistic and chased financial success. Our parents were part of what Tom Brokaw called “the greatest generation.” Our folks worked hard and we learned our work ethic from them. But was gave up quite a lot in the process. We worked a lot of hours, grinding away to climb the ladder and find success, which was mostly based on how much money we made. Thankfully, our children found a better way – a more balanced life.

Understanding ourselves often draws us back to our childhood. We’re all a product of our upbringing. My wife and I knew we were packing bags that our children would carry with them the rest of their lives. That’s how it goes. I was committed to making some of those bags I gave my kids as profitable and productive as possible. Time will judge whether I was able to do it as well as I’d hoped.

It all boiled down to helping them better understand themselves. Of course, first I had to better understand myself. That was always the hard part. Today, that’s the hard part for them now that they’re parents trying to pass on whatever lessons they’ve learned.

Makes No Sense I keep reading, observing, writing and doing my best to pay attention. And of course, as always, trying to connect the dots and make sense of it all.

It’s a nice, plush quiet office. The CEO owns the business. He started the company 27 years ago. Slogged his way to profitability and things began to take off.

Around year 7 he started getting newfound and much needed traction. Business was good, but the growth was stressful. He was discovering new problems he’d never faced before. There were people problems. Capital always seemed too short. There were inventory issues. Systems were being taxed at every point. He was afraid. The growth has revealed all the things he knew were true – he wasn’t prepared.

So he did what most do. He dove in trying to figure it out along the way. Desperation is how he characterizes those years. He was desperate to figure it out so he just took action. Mostly, he admits, he got it wrong, but he tried to fix it as soon as he could. When he got it right, it paid off handsomely so he just assumed if he could win more than he lost, then everything would be okay.

That didn’t help him sleep at night. It sure didn’t help him build an organization, or develop a high performing team. No sooner had the euphoria of getting traction hit until it gave way to high anxiety. He had never been this afraid. He had employees. Payroll. Suppliers. Financial concerns. He was eating, drinking and staying awake at night fretting about the business.

Here we sit, two decades later. It’s in the middle of the afternoon. He’s troubled. Today, he’s lamenting a few opportunities he’s had to develop a key right-hand person. There was the young man he hired 22 years ago, before the traction took hold. A diligent young man with a high degree of willingness. Rough around the edges sometimes, but plenty of horsepower to work with. He just never took the time to really mentor the young man. Eventually, he left, telling the owner that he needed a new opportunity. The CEO figured he really meant that he wasn’t growing as he wanted — and they both likely understand the fact of it all.

After that, he figures there had been at least two more. He’s got a strong team today, but he can’t seem to get past the lost opportunities to have grown talent that would likely be serving him now in his latter years. Talent that might best help him achieve what he most wants now.

There’s regret on his face as he’s telling me the story. I asked him about himself. He’s telling me about past employees, but he’s not saying a lot about himself. “What’s the issue for you?” I ask. “Me?” he barks back. “It’s my business. It’s all an issue for me,” he retorts. Spoken like most business owners I’ve encountered through my career. I know how he means it, but I also know it can camouflage what’s really bothering him.

I ask him to help me understand how he’s feeling and what he’s thinking. His mood grows increasingly reflective, and pensive. He removes his glasses, rubs his eyes and says softly, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

It’s a bolt out of the blue. Catches even me off guard and I’m almost always on guard — that is, I’m pretty prepared for most things people tell me. I ask him to talk to me more about that. For the next 20 minutes or so he laments his life, organizationally and personally. He’s trapped by his success. Trapped by his business. Trapped by having to do it all. Trapped by making every big decision.

As the CEO of a mid-sized company with millions of dollars of revenue, just under 100 employees and a staff of about 7 direct reports, he’s surrounded by people. He speaks fondly of most of them, but continues to lament that he’s never fully developed a person capable of replacing him. Somebody who can help him ease into a new role that he longs to achieve – a wise mentor capable of providing historical context, industry know-how and other insightful service to a leadership team capable of soaring higher. Always higher.

“What are you most afraid of?” I ask, knowing it’s the time I can now ask and get an honest answer. He looks at me. Puts his glasses back on. Looks at some papers on his desk. Then looks up and peers at me with his eyes slightly squinted as if he’s got a headache. “Being alone,” he answers. “But that ship sailed. I am alone.”

His marriage ended shortly after his year of traction. One daughter is now off to college somewhere up north. He has confessed that his wife and mistress are one and the same – his business. He’s got many friends. Well, people with whom he can socialize. His calendar is full of activities. At work. At home. He’s surrounded by people. But mostly, he’s alone.

All the trappings of success are just that – trappings. He’s said so. This is no longer working for him. He’s a miserable man. Successful by all accounts and miserable.

Part of providing the opportunity to shell it down and be transparent is giving leaders the release they’ve longed to have. He seems to be breathing. I mean really catching a breath. Not just physically, but emotionally. I remind him that I’m not a therapist and my work isn’t therapy, but it is therapeutic. “Boy, don’t I know it,” he says.

He’s in his 60’s. He’s not the 4-year-old little boy I talked to when I was 27. But there’s still a little person inside him telling him things. Surrounded by talent and expertise in his business, he’s mostly listening to some unnamed little person living in his head. This trusted advisor has no name, no credentials and only one mission. To nag him into misery. Well, that seems to be the impact.

Over time it’s clear to him that he’s refusing to get too close to people. He wants to, but he’s afraid. Afraid it won’t work out. Like his marriage. Or those early employees who abandoned him. That’s his word: abandoned. No matter that they were willing, hard working and devoted. No matter that they likely weren’t feeling valued by him. He sees it the way he sees it. Clear or not, it’s his perspective.

Talk turns to our inner critic. That voice that sometimes wants to serve us, but has the opposite effect.

He concludes his inner critic is likely trying to protect him from being hurt, but those good intentions aren’t working. Instead, they’re causing him to repel against the very things he needs to do to get out of under this life he no longer wants. I’m here to help him with his business and professional life. But I care about his entire life and urge him to consider finding a professional capable of serving him in ways I can’t. He finds a professional and just after one session tells me what a gift it is to have two people serving him – me and a mental health professional, a therapist. I’m humbled.

Age Doesn’t Matter – Intentions Don’t Either

Whether we’re old or young, our inner critic likely never goes away. I’ve concluded maybe the best we can do is to understand it.

I’ve learned that often times my own inner critic is seeking my best. Or he thinks he is. “Don’t try that, it won’t work. You’ll only embarrass yourself.” Good little voice, trying to protect me from embarrassment.

Freedom From Your Inner Critic is a book written by Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss. Part of what the authors point out is that our inner critic has old ideas about us. We listen to these antiquated images of who we may have once been. Our inner critic pushes us to remember an outdated version of ourselves. The problem is, that doesn’t fit our current circumstance. Or our current skills or experience. According to Earley and Weiss, our inner critic then goes to work to protect us, causing us to doubt ourselves. That makes us feel insufficient, often growing more miserable. That’s where our CEO business owner is at.

I encourage you to read and study about this more, but I’ll share with you three things Ms. Weiss points to as ways to tame this inner critic.

Step 1: Separate

That little person living in our head is just one of many. It’s one voice among many. The inner critic isn’t entirely you, but it’s only a part. Weiss says that voice has its own motives and world view. The way to tame it is to distance from it. Make a decision to listen, or not listen.

Sometimes you need to tell the voice to back off. She argues that we all need to find and get in touch with our higher Self (yes, it’s a capital S). Google IFS or internal family systems therapy and you’ll find more. I’m not saying this is the end all, be all. I am saying I’ve found elements of this helpful in better understanding myself and in helping others better understand themselves in the professional dynamics at work.

Like any voice or advice we get, we can choose to listen or not to the inner critic. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s possible. Some people may be able to figure this out with a bit of reading and study. Other people may require or want more structured help.

Step 2: Update

Weiss encourages us to ask our inner critic an important question, “How old do you think I am?” Most often we’ll find out that our inner critic thinks we’re still a small child. It’s as though our inner critic is stuck in time. All the effort expended to protect us is by a small (but loud) voice aimed at protecting a child, not a grown adult with the skills and experience we now possess. The more you’re able to show this part of yourself who and what you really are today, the more likely you’ll be able to update the inner critic into letting go of the dated concerns that little voice expresses to you, trying to protect you.

Step 3: Mentor

Weiss and Earley use a term I’m rather fond of, Inner Champion. That can be your new mentor. You need help in dealing with your inner critic. Weiss finds it helpful to give your Inner Champion some human qualities. She admits her own Inner Champion is part Katherine Hepburn, Margaret Mead and others. The job of the Inner Champion is to give you strength.

The Inner Champion often sounds like the voice of a good mom reminding you of your value and capacity. It encourages you to take reasonable risks so you can get what you most want.

The Inner Champion also has the courage to take a stand against your inner critic, telling it to leave you alone. The Inner Champion is the other voice in your head telling that inner critic that he’s not being helpful.

The value of the Inner Champion is in helping you develop a process or system to achieving what you want. When you lack a process, your Inner Champion helps propel you forward to devise a plan.

And the Inner Champion takes care of the fragile parts of you that are being protected by the inner critic. See, the inner critic is really intending to help you. It just doesn’t always work out that way.

Clarity

I’m a fan. Seeing things clearly doesn’t mean the news is always good. Or that the outcome is what we wanted. It just means we’re seeing it for what it really is. That provides us with an opportunity to make adjustments, fix what ails us and figure out what we’ll do next.

Life is about adjustments. It’s about learning. The CEO was learning some things for the first time in his life. He was putting in the work to avoid going it alone, thinking he had to be strong enough all by himself. Trapped by success, surrounded by people – he was already alone. And that’s what he most feared. When he saw it more clearly he was able to devise a plan he could own. Professional therapy helped. I hope I did, too.

He got some strategy in place, which drove his hopes higher. In time he got some optimism because he could see a positive outcome. Hopelessness gave way to optimism.

I encourage you to seek clarity for yourself. Leaders can get so busy and allow their lives to become more hectic than is profitable. “I’m too busy,” is a steady refrain I hear from every leader. I’m the guy who’ll ask, “Do you think Benjamin Franklin was a bit brilliant? How about Ernest Hemingway?”

Ben Franklin is quoted as having said or written, “Never confuse motion with action.”

Ernest Hemingway is quoted as having said, “Never mistake motion with action.”

Pick your brilliant guy. Their quotes are the same. And they were both right.

Today, right now, do something for yourself. Face that inner critic. Read a book (or four) on it. Confront it and seek professional help if you need it or want it. Some of us are out here ready to help you do the heavy lifting.

Randy

Support The Podcast

How Can You Help The Podcast?

Subscribe at iTunes | Stitcher
Leave us a review at iTunes
Pick your favorite way to support us financially
Join the conversation at our Facebook group
Tell your friends. Promote the shows on social media.

4007 The Good Intentions Of Your Inner Critic Read More »

Leadership- Should You Be A Lone Wolf Or Part Of A Pack? - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 292

292 Leadership: Should You Be A Lone Wolf Or Part Of A Pack?

Communication, Leadership, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:09 — 35.9MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | RSS | More

Leadership- Should You Be A Lone Wolf Or Part Of A Pack? - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 292

Leaders, like followers, come in a variety of personalities, styles, philosophies, tendencies, experiences and aptitudes. Too many variables to lump people into simple, easy categories.

People grow, adapt and change, too. I’m not quite the same leader I am today as I was a few decades ago. Truth is, I’ve made some significant changes (improvements) in the last 5 years. In some respects, I don’t think I resemble the leader I once was. It’s called growth and learning! Professionally, it’s what I work diligently to help other leaders experience, too.

It’s not always the most comfortable process. Rarely does growth or improvement happen without stress. You can either lean into it or run away from it. Flee or fight instincts often overrule our sensibilities. A true leader learns to behave intentionally and run toward the fear where growth is found. Cowards feel trapped, acting like they’re in a mine field. Afraid to move a single step in any direction, they freeze. Of course, the problem is…you can’t live in a mine field. Remain stationary and you die. Make a move and it might kill you, but you might find your way out. There’s no avoiding risk if you’re chasing reward.

Leadership is a reward. It’s for the courageous and brave, not the fearless. Every leader I’ve ever known admitted being afraid of something. Often times, many things. Fear doesn’t define leadership, but our response to fear often does.

Enter hubris. It’s too common to find leaders who are fearful of showing fear. Vulnerability isn’t a quality they think belongs on any list of leadership. Foolish. Wrong-headed.

Some leaders let fear drive them into a lonely corner feeling they must fight the fight alone. Survival of the fittest and all that. “Never let ’em see you sweat.” “Show no signs of weakness.” All that other bravado that often drives leaders. Especially the loneliest ones.

“Nobody understands what I’m going through anyway,” he says to me.

“How can you be so sure?” I ask.

“Because my problems are unique to our organization,” he says confidently.

My work consists primarily of asking questions. It’s how clarity happens. Asking and answering questions foster clear thinking and bring things into sharper focus. At least that’s the goal.

So I ask, “Give me one example of a problem you’ve got that you think nobody else has.”

He starts to think. And think some more. Then he summons up the courage to mention an industry specific issue, but quickly realizes it’s just details. The jest of the issue isn’t uncommon and he knows it.

Slowly a smile begins to show through and he meekly admits that he doubts he’s alone. “Then why are you trying to go it alone?” I ask.

That sparks the conversation I’ve been wanting to have with him. He’s a CEO with very capable COO. For reasons I don’t fully understand, he doesn’t have a relationship with the COO that seems healthy to me. I mean he trusts his COO. The man is very capable, even strong. They get along just fine. There’s no apparent trust issues or personality conflicts. It’s communication. The CEO doesn’t freely share information with the COO.

And it’s not out of any apparent sense of hoarding information. At first I suspected it was simply the CEO’s “hold your cards close to your vest” style. But it’s more than that. My intuition has been prompting me to dig deeper for months now. I’ve resisted digging in lieu of closer observation to see what behavior shows me. Sure enough, it’s more than obvious that the COO is frustrated at a professional life relegated to trying to figure out what his boss is thinking, feeling or wanting. The CEO senses the frustration, but figures it’s just how things roll.

As I work with both men I know how valuable candid conversations between the two men can put them into a brand new, higher orbit of effectiveness. Mostly, I’m feeling a bit sad for the CEO who is bent on “going it alone” because it’s just how he thinks things ought to be. I’m also sad for the COO, a bit younger than the CEO, because he’s being robbed of the opportunity to grow and learn at the hands of a man he deeply respects. Both men are losing out.

Sometimes The Lone Wolf Isn’t Alone Because He Wants To Be

Fast forward past numerous conversations and what seem like thousands of questions. The CEO fears putting a burden on his COO that is undeserved. “He’s not paid or tasked to worry at my level,” he divulges one day.

“So that’s why you don’t let him into your world as closely as you could?” I ask. “Sure, of course. The buck doesn’t stop with him. It’s stops with ME,” he says – as though he’s stating an unarguable fact.

What ensues is a discussion about how people grow, especially our children. The CEO, a father, can relate. The kids are grown now. I ask him if the things he shared with his kids changed as they grew older. Of course it did. As they grew up and matured, he and his wife were able to share more and more with their kids. With their experience and maturity, the kids were not only capable of handling more, but they craved it. It deepened their relationship. He easily recognized it when the context was his own children.

I then morphed the conversation to the professional “children” in his life – those people he loved and served – and who wanted to serve him. He was their leader. The place had high regard for his professional prowess. The whole organization reeked with desire to please him. He’d started this business. The founding father was viewed with the regard he deserved. I thought he deserved to not fly alone when he had people, especially one very close executive, fully capable (and desirous) of being a confidant.

I sat there telling stories of growth, improvement, sharing confidences and having a person with whom he could “shell it all down.” Over time it was apparent he had a yearning for it, but he had been a lone wolf for a long time. Habitual loneliness isn’t so easy to abandon. Sometimes investments are difficult. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

The CEO didn’t necessarily want to be a lone wolf. He just assumed that he had to be. That it was unfair to go any other way.

Smart people can make bad assumptions. They can also figure it out and alter their course.

A CEO with a COO who is his right hand, and confidant is a very different man than a guy living in a cave fearful of sharing his issues and worries fully. Proof that old maxim is right, fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Rip it down, tear it up and mostly our fears are without foundation. When the two men sat down for a candid conversation – far more candid than any they had ever had – it’s powerful. It’s not about business issues. It’s not about the quarterly performance. It’s about their feelings and inner desires to be better men, better leaders and together – to build a stronger organization.

I warn them that they may both feel regret over what’s been lost, but I challenge them instead to rejoice in what’s found. These are the moments I live for. Major breakthroughs.

Sometimes The Lone Wolf Is Alone Because He Wants To Be

We’re all wired a certain way. Thankfully, the CEO was wired to accept the challenge to help spur on his own growth, and the growth of his COO. Together, they sparked a pretty major growth in their company. The culture shifted from practicing communication that was often ambiguous and vague to being candid, open and forthright. You could feel it on your skin like a warm blanket on a cold night. It was comfortable. Nice.

Many stories don’t have happy endings though. Sometimes a lone wolf is alone refusing to go it any other way. They want to be alone.

I no longer care why. I once did. I’d anguish about why a person would be so bent. Through the years I’ve found it foolish on my part to try to connect those dots. For a lifelong dot connector it’s vexing, but even a hard head like me learns to cry “Uncle” when I’m beaten.

Arrogance. Hubris. Ignorance. Stupidity. It really doesn’t matter why. I just learned to make a distinction between those who want to and those who simply don’t know how to do it any other way. At first glance it can tough to tell, but hang with it long enough, ask enough questions and pay close attention long enough — and it becomes pretty clear which it is. Is it desire? Or is it lack of know-how?

Sometimes I still try to convert the willful lone wolf. Mostly I focus on the value lost. Their own value. Yes, I appeal to their selfishness, working to convince them of what they’re costing themselves. Then, I shift it to what they’re robbing their own team of – the chance for personal and professional growth and development.

Perhaps if I were better I’d win more of those battles than not, but I’m not in control of it. I can only present people with the value proposition and the risk proposal. Each of us are free to roll the way we want. I honor that. I try to respect it, but that’s infinitely harder. What I do respect is our ability to make our own choices.

Growing Or Dying?

Maybe if we look at animals in the wild we can gain some clues about this whole lone wolf thing.

Young animals need protection. They also need to learn the skills necessary to fend for themselves. The herd, pack or flock needs to perpetuate itself. That means the young, inexperienced members need to grow, develop and eventually reproduce. Even the most dominate leader of the pack needs the pack. Without them, he can’t survive long.

When a beast grows old, feeble or is injured – then the drag on the group is obvious. That’s when you see him wonder off alone. To die.

We may impose our human emotions on such a situation, but it’s easy to see the practical realities of it. The group can’t be put at risk. There comes a time to cut and run it alone. Survival isn’t possible. It’s just a matter of time. Go it alone and avoid risk or injury to the group, or be stubborn, remain with the group and put them all at risk.

In business, I think it depends on the same question…

Are you growing or dying?

If you’re dying, go it alone. Please. For the sake of others, reduce or eliminate the risks to others. But if you’re determined to grow, you’re crazy for going it alone. You may not make it to full maturity. Predators might kill you. You may fall into some trouble that you never saw coming. All because you were just too stubborn to be taught. Too stubborn to allow somebody else to show you a thing or two.

Just because you can go it alone doesn’t mean you should. We tend to think that because we’re able to drive a car, and because we’ve got our driver’s license — we can handle anything the road or traffic throw our way. Wrong! Inexperienced drivers die on the roads in America daily. Unaware of the dangers they think that because they can drive a car, that they’ll be able to handle anything that happens while driving. In too many cases it’s a fatal error.

Business owners, executives and leaders fall into the same trap. Sure, they have the ability to do as they please and go it alone. That doesn’t mean it’s wise. Fools go out of business all the time. Executives blow up their teams and their careers just as frequently.

It’s up to us to decide what we want to do: grow or die?

Not All Groups Are Created Equally

The group matters. Who you listen to matters. Your decisions matter. Your judgments and choices matter.

It’s important to know where people are coming from and to whom they’re beholden. Leaders often tell me about their “trusted advisors.” Sometimes I’m shocked at how much trust and confidence people put in others who clearly have a vested interest in one outcome or decision versus another one. It may not be so easy to see when it’s YOU, being the leader who is leaning on a close friend, or some service professional, or an employee.

I’m not saying trusted advisors can’t be trusted. I’m saying we all need to be realistic about the level of trust we put into somebody based on their own interests. There’s nothing wrong with trusting people. I rather think leaders should likely be more trusting, not less. However, we have to acknowledge that each of us have a vested interest in an outcome the closer we are to the outcome. In other words, when a CEO is considering an important decision she may summons her inner circle for feedback. She should. She should also remember that these people work for her and they want to please her. They have jobs and duties to protect. They may not be as forthcoming in giving an honest counter position to a proposal she offers because of that.

Likewise with a service professional like an attorney, accountant or insurance person. These people want to continue to our provider of choice. They’re going to do everything in their power to keep us happy.

It has nothing to do with honesty or integrity. It’s just how things go. Decisions and choices are often jaded by personal interests. The US Government is the best illustration I can offer you. Special interest lobbyists drive the system. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. It doesn’t often produce the very best outcome because the drivers behind the decisions aren’t often made from a strong position of clarity. There are biases built in all throughout the system.

That means it’s important for leaders to surround themselves with people who can serve them without any penalties. People who care enough about the leader — people who have the skills and experience to help — people willing to offer tough questions — and perhaps even tougher suggestions — all because they want the leader to grow, excel and improve.

Very few leaders have such a group. Most have never experienced such a group and may tend to believe that such groups aren’t even possible. Through the years I’ve heard a number of top executives lament that life at the top is just what it is. Of all the problems they face, this seems to be the one problem for which they think there is no solution. It’s a myth.

Let’s Answer The Question

The answer to the question is simple if you’re dying. Go it alone. Please don’t cause the death of others. Let the rest get out alive if possible.

If you’re growing, then you have no choice, but to join yourself and align yourself to others who can serve you, and who can be served by you. That includes an inner circle. Maybe it’s a right-hand man, like the CEO and the COO. Share the burden of leadership with others who are part of your executive team. Like the youngest members of the pack, they can best learn when you’re willing to teach them. And they’ll serve you in return.

But you need more. You need people capable of knowing where you’re coming from. You need peers. That’s the biggest frustration often expressed by leaders. They think they have nobody with whom they can share because nobody in their life can relate to their situation. Mostly, they’re right. But not entirely.

Some have tried mastermind groups, but found them wanting. High performing leaders can find themselves in a group where their expertise is benefiting others, but they leave with a rather empty experience for their own issues. Sometimes groups are grossly out of sync where the disparity is so large members can’t quite relate to each other’s situation. Inevitably, the weakest members of such groups tend to establish a baseline of performance that just isn’t high enough for the people who really want to soar much, much higher.

We don’t need a group that will weigh us down. We need a group that will lift us up. We need a group that will encourage us to stretch, push and strive to grow and improve.

Here’s the sad reality — very few leaders have experienced a truly helpful group with no axe to grind and no dog in the hunt other than to help, encourage and serve. Yet we’ve likely experienced a taste of it with our family or some other small group. People who surround us and tell us, “We’ll help you. You can get through this. We understand what you’re going through and we’re here for you.” Nothing in return other than knowing they can help, and knowing that when they need help, you’ll do the same for them.

So you can decide for yourself how you’ll go. Clearly, I’m hoping you’ll decide to join a pack. Whether that pack is a small, intimate group or something else you think is high value, you decide. Just don’t go it alone.

Because you only go it alone when you’re ready to go off and die!

Randy

Subscribe to the podcast

To subscribe, please use the links below:

If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking Review on iTunes. It’ll help the show rank better in iTunes.

Thank you!

292 Leadership: Should You Be A Lone Wolf Or Part Of A Pack? Read More »

Refusing Help - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 270

270 Refusing Help

On Being Extraordinary, Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download ()

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | RSS | More

Refusing Help - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 270

It was years ago when I was first called, “Coach.” It was a group of kids playing hockey. I’ve had 6 year olds call me coach, and college guys do the same. It’s a pretty good feeling actually. Knowing that you’re helping players learn, develop and compete. But it’s really cool to help players improve and bond together as a group. Nothing beats the feeling of being part of a great team.

A few years ago when I began to morph my career away from “roll-up-your-sleeves-get-your-hands-dirty” consulting to more of a boutique coach specializing in helping executives become more effective leaders…I wasn’t too sure of the labels. I was a bit jaded with all the “life coaching” services by every Tom, Dick and Harry. The notion that anybody with a business card could coach merely based on their ability to market themselves and be paid repulsed me somewhat. It still does. But fancy certifications by outfits whose main goal is to collect more revenue repulsed me even more.

Besides, my work violated every rule of proper business model creation. I was – and still am – a one-man-band. That’s by design. For decades I’ve run larger operations with employees. I wanted to rely solely on myself. My business isn’t scaleable. I serve people in the most individualized, personalized way possible. I dive into specific issues, challenges and constraints in work, people’s performance, organizational cultures and teams. It’s just the opposite of a one-size-fits-all approach to coaching. It’s the only way I know how to roll. And I believe in it. Strongly.

People are unique. Their circumstances are, too. Along with their work, culture and teams. Then there’s that experience and skill element. The coaching given to a beginner in golf or any other endeavor should be very different than coaching given to an elite player. I didn’t coach 6-year-olds the same way I coached college guys. Different skill set. Different experience. Different understanding. Different coaching required.

Coaching provides one enormous opportunity for my clients – perspective. It’s never about me imposing my will on anybody. I do hope to influence people and persuade them. Mostly of what’s possible. The goal is always the same.

Higher Human Performance

I want to help people elevate their performance and the performance within their organization or their team. These are leaders. They are executives.

It’s worth noting that the people who benefit most from coaching are high achievers or those desirous of becoming high achievers. They also have one other important ingredient – willingness. A high degree of willingness!

Once in awhile I encounter an executive or leader whose the subject of my coaching. That is, my services have been employed by a superior, a sponsor. Usually it’s provided as a benefit, a professional and personal development investment the organization wants to make in this person. In spite of that motivation, I can sometimes run into the person who resists my services. They simply refuse help.

When it first happened some years ago I took it personally, but experience has taught me that such people are resistant to help from almost everybody. I won’t say they resist everybody because I like to think we’ve all got at least one person with whom we could let down our guard and accept some counsel. Maybe not though.

Knowing why I’ve been commissioned, and knowing how badly the sponsor – usually the boss – wants me to serve the reluctant executive, it’s frustrating when I press and press, only to be insincerely patronized by the client. But there’s another aspect of my business model that isn’t conducive for empire building – I’m more interested in results than I am in embedding myself as a paid coach. I’m one of those guys who think chiropractors serve a wonderful slot in health care. I’ve been to them before. However, I’m also opposed to those chiropractors who are mostly interested in keeping you coming back week after week for the rest of your life. If I were a chiropractor I’d be the guy trying to help you as quickly as possible so you could stop seeing me. I know the business stupidity of that business model, but I’m at a phase in my life where I can afford to harness the power of a stupid business model because it’s just how I prefer to roll. I wouldn’t likely coach any client to follow suit. 😉

I want to make a difference for my clients. Whenever I run into a reluctant client who behaves like the job candidate who answers every question with a patented “good answer” I grow increasingly frustrated. “Tell me about one of your biggest weaknesses,” asks the job interview. The job candidate says, “I love people too much.” Yeah, I sometimes get that from people. And 100% of the time they’re the people who refuse my help. They work hard to fool me and put on a front that I know isn’t true. Sometimes I can break through, but most of the time they maintain their guard as I walk out the door for the final time.

I’ve often thought about why people behave like that, but in every single case I report to the boss that I was unable to help the person because they refused to come clean and be honest. I’ve never had a boss be surprised. Turns out that in every case the boss commissioned me because: a) they wanted to make an investment in the person and b) they were experiencing some of the problems I encountered. They were hoping I might be able to affect some improvement. Sadly, I could have – if only the person would have been able to accept help.

Refusing help isn’t limited to professionals like me though. It’s a much deeper problem for some. They refuse help from their boss, teammates and peers. Well, it doesn’t look as overt as that. It’s more passive.

“No, I’m good. Thanks!”

“Things are great.”

“No. No problems here.”

Every refuser I’ve encounter behaves in a similar fashion. They work hard to appear friendly and easy going. Their power weapon is deception through charm. They want others to think they’re unflappable, capable of handling any difficulty that might come their way. Unlike you and me, they’ve never encountered a challenge that left them wondering, “What do I do now?” Or so they’d have you think.

I’m sure some social scientist or psychologist would have a field day trying to dissect such characters, but that’s not my job (or my qualifications). I’m just trying to help people elevate their own performance, and the performance of their organization. An impossible task when people refuse to acknowledge any room for improvement.

One of the first times I encountered this was more years ago than I can remember. I was helping a senior executive, an older gentleman, develop a younger executive. He wanted to groom this young hot shot for some added responsibility. Unfortunately, he encountered some push back from the younger executive. He was finding the younger leader disagreeable with his ideas. “It’s as though he thinks he’s got to stand toe-to-toe with me,” said the senior leader. “I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve made a poor choice in putting so much confidence in him.”

I was between their ages. The senior executive hoped my experience, my demeanor (including my candor) and my age would work to benefit his young protege. I dug in talking with them together, then talking with them privately. I spent as much time as possible with the younger leader trying to figure out why he might behaving this way — and trying to figure out a way to help him.

It was clear from the outset that he didn’t want me to see any weakness or challenge. He had EVERYTHING under control. He had all the best ideas. He knew better than his team, his boss and he certainly knew better than me. Big rooms. Small rooms. It didn’t matter. He was determined to appear to be the smartest man in all rooms he entered.

I listened. I asked questions. I listened some more. It wasn’t hard. He was a talker – another trait I’ve seen in common with people who refuse help. They tend to fill silence, or they tend to create as much silence as possible. I’ve not found them to be middle-of-the-road when it comes to talking or not talking. They either do lots of it, or they don’t do much of it at all.

I told him how much confidence his boss had in him, explaining that my presence proved it. “I’m here to serve you,” I told him. He gave what he thought would be all the right answers. “Great. I’ll put you to work,” he told me. He’d launch into some specific work task as though I would be his personal assistant. I’d stop him and say, “I’m not here to do your work for you, or to do it with you. I’m here to help you with much bigger issues.” That’s when the “Who’s On First?” Abbott and Costello routine would begin. Lots of circle talking would drone on and I’d leave knowing I wasn’t breaking through.

Within months of my effort – my failed effort – he was gone, ditched by the senior executive who saw so much potential, but couldn’t get past the arrogance of a brash young leader with a very hard head. I saw what he saw. The young man had extraordinary potential. It would have been easier if he’d been completely incompetent.

Through the years I’ve seen that scenario repeated more often than I’d like. Nothing frustrates me more professionally than trying to help a person who would benefit from it – a person with skills, experience and know-how. Sometimes I encounter a person who is just over their head. Those people don’t frustrate me. They’re often just doing the best they can even though their best isn’t good enough. Those situations just need to play out sooner than later. But it’s those folks who could do so much better that make me sad. Like a drowning person who refuses a life-saver…you just want to coerce them to grab on and accept your help. But you’re helpless to help. And it sucks!

When Jack Welch was leading GE I got an invitation to attend a small gathering of people at a “meet and greet.” As Welch made his way around the room I knew precisely what I wanted to ask.

“How did a guy like you get to the top of GE?”

Welch quickly replied that he had a terrific boss who protected him and fostered his best.

And there it is – Welch accepted help. Jack Welch accepted help.

Sometimes I can tell the person refusing my help that story and they surrender, letting down their guard so I can begin to serve them. Most times they don’t. Most times they’re so dug in and committed to their posture that they just can’t seem to find a way to be human. Joining the rest of us is just not easy for them. No matter what help we may have needed – or may still need. No matter that Jack Welch needed and accepted help…they just can’t be like us. Mortal. Vulnerable.

It’s a mistake. To avoid vulnerability that will enable us to accept help. It’s a mistake for us to avoid seeking help.

It’s also the tell-tale sign of a low performer. Who cares if it’s insecurity, ego, pride or anything else? I don’t much care. I used to, but I’ve learned not to fret so much about it because the people who refuse help are mostly (not always and not entirely) not the people most capable of high performance. That’s because the highest performers are the most willing to do what must be done to elevate their performance. That’s the biggest ingredient of success – willingness.

I’m not diminishing skills and talents. But without a high degree of willingness those are just potential. I don’t know how to win with potential. I don’t know how to achieve anything with potential. Potential is just hope and hope won’t win anything. Hope needs action to become reality.

Just today I was hearing about a 2nd round MLB draft pick for the Texas Rangers who signed a $2M signing bonus. He’s a high school kid from North Carolina. Then there’s a 3rd round pick they made for a college kid from Duke. He got a $2M signing bonus, too. Four million dollars paid to two players who have potential, but have yet to play a single inning of major league ball. Will they pan out? I don’t know. The Texas Rangers don’t either. Not for sure. They’ve got good intel on these guys. They’re making a calculated investment, but right now they’re just paying for the potential of these two players. Time will tell if that potential is realized.

If both players put in the work, stay healthy and perform up to their ability — the investment will pay off. But if they party like foolish frat brats and aren’t willing to do what’s required to succeed at the major league level…they’ll bust.

You’re not likely going to get a $2M bonus based on potential. Professional sports and entertainment are fantastical. The rest of us live in the real world where the value proposition is very different. You were hired based on what you could do – or what your employer was led to believe you could do. You were likely promoted based on what you had done and what was expected you would do based on historical performances. Well, okay. That doesn’t sound unlike MLB…except for the $2M signing bonus part. 😉

You. MLB players. Entertainers. That willingness is still the common denominator to high achievement. Accepting or asking for help is another ingredient necessary for high performance. There are no self-made men or women. Everybody owes somebody for helping them along the way. Parents, teachers, coaches, trainers, advisors, managers, attorneys, accountants, trusted friends.

So what does all this mean? It means if you want to commit yourself to mediocrity or failure, refuse help. Go it alone. See how far you get. Go ahead. Try it. The high achievers will benefit by you not being part of the competition. You’ll just be one less person standing in their way of reaching their dreams.

So keep that scowl on your face. Embrace your misery as the smartest man in the room who never reached the heights of higher human performance.

Randy

Subscribe to the podcast

To subscribe, please use the links below:

If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking Review on iTunes. It’ll help the show rank better in iTunes.

Thank you!

270 Refusing Help Read More »

Business Books That Helped Define Me As A Business Guy (Part 1) - HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE Podcast Episode 250

250 Business Books That Helped Define Me As A Business Guy (Part 1)

Books, Leadership, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download ()

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | RSS | More

Time Magazine cover - September 8, 1967 - Harold Geneen In 1984 I read a book about somebody I had never heard of. A business titan with a reputation for making senior leaders cry publicly as he questioned them about their numbers in an open forum. He’d made the cover of Time magazine back in 1967, but that preceded my business career so it escaped me. People still think of the hard-nosed CEO as an SOB. This man is often credited with being the father of the tough, SOB executive. I’m not so sure that’s accurate or fair, but I admit I have a favorable bias for him.

From 1959 to 1972 Harold Geneen was the President & CEO of International Telephone and Telegraph Corp. (ITT). Under his leadership the company grew from $765 million in revenue to a multinational conglomerate with $17 billion in revenues in 1970. Geneen was among the first corporate leaders to incorporate building a business into a larger conglomerate. ITT grew mostly through about 250 acquisitions and mergers spanning 80 countries.

I bought the book, Managing by Harold Geneen with Alvin Moscow, for no particular reason other than I was (and still am) a voracious reader. The cover was plain. The authors, unknown to me. But there I stood in line buying a copy. It was a new release. Maybe that’s why I bought it. I don’t remember.

Only 2 years earlier I had stood in this same bookstore buying a copy of the first book to really establish the business book genre into mainstream America, In Search Of Excellence. I’d never heard of those authors either. And like Geneen, these people were living in a different universe than the one I occupied. They were part of BIG BUSINESS. I was part of small business. Rinky dink business compared to the things these men were exposed to.

But it all fascinated me. I was a young father, married almost 7 years and I was ambitious. I was a learner, mostly captivated by what I did not yet know. And smart enough to know how vast that depth of ignorance ran. It’s likely why I was a voracious reader. I had a lot of catching up to do. Still do.

While In Search Of Excellence captivated me with stories of men and women doing amazing things – contrarians who were figuring out new ways to excel – when I dove into Mr. Geneen’s book it was different. It was one man’s journey and story of how he was doing things. It was about philosophy, beliefs, teaching and biography. I was young, impressionable and searching for wisdom in places far loftier than any place I knew I’d ever occupy.

Geneen’s book changed me.

He suffered from paralysis by analysis.”

You likely didn’t know that’s a Geneen quote. He was a very quotable guy. Maybe that’s was part of my attraction to him and his book, but it ran deeper than that for me. I had read Peter Drucker, but I confess Drucker wasn’t a writer who resonated with me. I knew he was smart, brilliant even. But I also was more captivated by the people in the trenches doing the work. Men like Geneen. And that made him different that Peters and Waterman who had written In Search Of Excellence. They were high brow consultants. Geneen was a business guy. Hard core.

Performance is your reality. Forget everything else.”

One quote in particular caught my attention like no other. It’s been the most used quote in my working career since because it’s so pointed and powerful. And clear.

Management must manage!”

Geneen’s intent with that quote is that managers must get the job done. People in every organization I’ve helped run since 1984 have heard me repeat that quote, giving Geneen attribution each time, thousands of times. For me, it wasn’t merely a good quote, but it was true. The burden I always felt as a manager was to perform. That likely stems from my early days as a straight commission salesperson selling hi-fi gear. If I didn’t sell something, I didn’t make any money. It’s the purest form of performance based pay I suspect.

Performance was my reality and it was easy for me to forget everything else. That’s how it is when your paycheck is fully determined by your performance. Of course, that doesn’t speak to the frustrations you experience because of the incompetence of others. I had plenty of that in my life, too. Frustration that something was out of stock. Frustration that co-workers fiddled with connections and a system wouldn’t work properly when you were trying to show it off to a shopper. Irritation that one part of the store wasn’t as clean as my area of the store, making it embarrassing to take a shopper to that area. Finger prints on glass was a constant source of frustration for me in those early teen years of selling because every sound room in a hi-fi shop had sliding glass doors. The presentation was part of the performance for me as a young hi-fi salesperson and I grew increasingly irritated when co-workers took no more pride than they might in a buddy’s dorm room at LSU. All those details ate me up some days.

Geneen seemed to be a guy who was equally eaten up with details. And I loved him for it. Mostly, I loved him for his candor. While In Search of Excellence had some terrific stories, it lacked the grit of the ugly conversations that necessarily have to be had if business is going to succeed.

The interviewer is annoying – poor Harold Channer – but it’s worthwhile to hear Mr. Geneen explain things on camera.

Management manages by making decisions and by seeing that those decisions are implemented.”

Managers in all too many American companies do not achieve the desired results because nobody makes them do it.”

If you keep working you’ll last longer and I just want to keep vertical. I’d hate to spend the rest of my life trying to outwit an 18-inch fish.”

I learned some critical things from this book by Harold Geneen. Among them, that leaders owe people more. Managers must support people by holding them accountable. While I knew peers who struggled to hold people accountable because the conversations were difficult, Geneen taught me that no matter how difficult they may be, managers owe their people that conversation.

Geneen’s book also taught me that the facts serve us, but we have to make sure we’re really getting facts. He lived in an era where getting the numbers was much tougher. The world was manual. Stacks of spreadsheets. Ledgers heaped upon ledgers. Decision making took much longer in his day. I grew up in the computer age where business could much more easily distill the facts. The numbers were far easier for me to get, than for Harold.

I knew instantly, upon reading this book, that Geneen was right about measuring performance. It rang true based on everything I knew and everything I believed.

When you have mastered numbers, you will in fact no longer be reading numbers, any more than you read words when reading books. You will be reading meanings.”

Performance stands out like a ton of diamonds. Non performance can always be explained away.”

By the time I was reading this book I had almost a dozen years of business experience behind me. Most of it had been involved in sales. Real world toe to toe, belly to belly sales. I had mostly learned how NOT to do things. I was now running a multi-million dollar enterprise and I had a clear vision of how I thought things should be run based mostly on how badly I had seen some of my earlier places of employment operate.

I knew what I wanted and some years prior I had learned somewhere to begin with the end in mind. So Geneen’s message just kept on resonating with me.

You read a book from beginning to end. You run a business the opposite way. You start with the end, and then you do everything you must to reach it.”

Geneen’s philosophy was extremely congruent with my own. I knew his style was probably more gruff than my own, but I didn’t care about that. I had friends who were busy trying to be something they weren’t. Or somebody they had never been before. I knew my limitations. I knew who I was and what I was. I never really tried to be somebody else. That doesn’t mean I was always happy with who I was, or what I was, but my convictions were strong. I was unwavering in my dedication to not be somebody different. If Geneen or other leaders I admired could yell and scream, I knew I couldn’t. I could get amped up and raise my voice, but I wasn’t some storm trooper manager who walked in a room and everybody instantly grew uneasy. I’ve longed believed managers must be congruent and true to whom they really are. And I think we all can be. For every hard-nosed manager who is succeeding I’ll show you a soft-spoken manager who is doing it stylistically very different, but also succeeding.

Winning changes everything. Losing does, too. But losing makes everybody pay. I never wanted to lose and I never wanted my organizations to lose. The price was too high. Geneen was such a no nonsense guy driven to win that I couldn’t help but like him. More than that, I found him highly valuable. I remember the first time I read the book I thought how nice it would be to work for a guy like that. I had never worked for anybody remotely like him. Sadly, I had worked for a few good managers, but most of the managers I worked for were poor. By the way, now years later my mind hasn’t changed. If anything, my current perspective of my earliest managers has only revealed to me how pathetic they were.

Geneen had high standards. If performance measurements weren’t met, he didn’t lower the expectations. I thought that was exactly right. I had grown up with hearing managers and business owners excuse poor performance. I grew up with managers who had no trouble lowering expectations. Sometimes I had managers who didn’t have an expectation. And because I was often working along side of people who were at best indifferent, at worse they were apathetic or rebellious…I could not understand why management made me work along side these losers. Geneen was staunch about what management owed people, namely to not make them be partnered with people who failed to perform. Boy did that hit a sweet spot in my belief system!

Do you want my one-word secret of happiness? It’s growth – mental, financial, you name it.”

Harold Geneen died in New York City on November 21, 1997. He was 87 years old. He had endured the Great Depression. Like most people who went through that experience, it helped shaped his world view and business philosophies. He was trained in accounting so the numbers were always important to him. Fact-based management was crucial during his regime at ITT.

This November he’ll have been dead for 18 years. This book was first published 31 years ago. Today, you can go to Amazon and buy a copy for a penny! A penny.

In Search Of Excellence changed the book selling world by giving us a new subset of books, BUSINESS BOOKS. Prior to the publication of that book you wouldn’t have seen aisles and shelves of business books. But this book, Managing by Harold Geneen with Alvin Moscow impacted my entire career by giving me a sense of my own abilities to become a better manager and leader. The fact that Geneen had achieved wild success using techniques and philosophies that I believed in gave me hope that in time I too could figure out how to be successful, albeit on a much smaller scale.

Ironically, earlier that same year – 1984 – another book had already had a profound impact on me. I’ll tell you about that book the next time. As you hear stories of these books that impacted by business philosophy you’ll see a theme emerge. The focus is on HIGHER HUMAN PERFORMANCE.

Randy

Here’s a Slideshare on 10 Management Lessons From Harold Geneen by Sompong Yusoontorn.

250 Business Books That Helped Define Me As A Business Guy (Part 1) Read More »

Who I Serve & How

By Randy Cantrell

Business Owners (period)

Ownership can be both lonely and isolating…which is why your mental and emotional fitness is critical. I focus all of my work on serving business owners who are intent on improving themselves and their companies.

All our work is PUSH:PULL. That is, we approach business challenges and opportunities from both ends, saving and building. It’s about saving you time, money and sanity. At the same time, it’s about building (increasing) revenues, profits and sanity.

Bula Network Owners’ Alliance

Bula Network Owners’ Alliance is a peer advisory group of just 7 small business owners who meet twice monthly online via a video conferencing platform. The power of small, intimate groups of like-minded owners working together for improved performance is the single biggest improvement to decision making and personal growth. Nothing compares to surrounding yourself with other business owners committed to helping each other grow their business, and their lives.

I’m currently interviewing prospective members so we can assemble an effective group of owners committed to their own growth, and the growth of all members of the Alliance. This is the most cost-effective, highest ROI service designed to help business owners make better decisions, overcome their isolation and experience individual and collective growth.

Do you want to grow as a leader and business owner? Are you willing to devote yourself to the effort? Are you open to helping other business owners just like you? And are you willing to let them help you? Then call me at (214) 736-4406. I’d enjoy speaking with you.

What?

It all boils down to just two things: decisions and actions. Okay, three things. Add speed!

Leaders are paid to make good decisions, then to effectively execute those decisions. All our work is focused on those two components of leadership.

Your work as a leader is the ongoing process of these two things. You make a decision, then you make it happen. The third component is paying attention, watching, observing, measuring…doing whatever you must to see if your decision and action is bringing about the desired results. If not, you make a different decision and start doing something different.

Decision > Action > Observing > Making A Different Decision > Taking New Action > Observing

It’s an ongoing process that starts with making a wise decision. We focus on real-time wisdom, the ability to make the best decision in real-time.

Anybody can get it right after-the-fact. The best get it right in the moment. And if they don’t, they quickly adjust to get it more right. It’s really about wisdom and speed.

Dr. Henry Cloud, famed leadership expert and author, said…

Over 80% of the leaders I have surveyed have said they have no one they can be totally transparent with. Make sure you are in the other 20%.”

Leaders can be transparent with me. It’s a big part of the process.

Many leaders battle the traditional “fire fighting mentality.” Daily they spend most of their time putting out fires. Their schedules are often dictated by the hottest burning fire. It’s exhausting work, made worse because results often go unrealized.

Leading involves people. Managing involves the work, the process. Both need proper execution. I’m not the guy who stands back delivering generic advice. I roll up my sleeves and help clients make meaningful progress. My work is judged by the results I can help my clients achieve. It’s highly collaborative and specific to help you resolve the biggest issues that keep you awake at night.

Bula Network, LLC is a small business owner peer advisory company.

We focus on the trifecta of business building.

Getting new customers or clients
Serving existing customers or clients better
Not going crazy in the process

Today, all the work is done through helping leaders discover ideal solutions through great questions and figuring out what’s right for them. I’m a business leader with over 30 years of top leadership experience. I’ve been where my clients are. I know the pain of leading a team, making payroll and hitting sales goals. I understand the heavy burden of operating a profitable, cost effective enterprise. The process isn’t about me holding forth as a guru though. It’s about our joint partnership with a group of peers – other small business owners – to help YOU grow and transform your organization and your life. It’s about surrounding ourselves with people who will help us grow, and people who will let us help them grow!

All my work is intensely focused on helping you grow your business — and on helping you grow as a leader.
It’s about increasing profitability. Your organization needs more resources so you can grow and impact more people (your employees, your customers and all the companies you partner with along the way).
The process demands your willingness to be open and honest.
Some entrepreneurs tend to chase every opportunity. If everything is important, then nothing is important. My work can help you clarify what’s worth chasing and what isn’t.
I believe culture is important. Your team members (employees) are crucial to your success. I can help you craft the best story, giving your employees congruency so they know exactly where and how they fit in making your business grow.
Often times my work can help an owner distill the ideal non-negotiable standards for their enterprise. Without them, accountability is impossible. With it, “A” players thrive.
Donald O. Clifton’s work eventually became “Strengthsfinder.” He said, “Soar with your strengths.” I believe in concentrating on your strengths (and the strengths of your business), while simultaneously acknowledging liabilities and weaknesses so we can devise a plan to help you better manage them.
Your business, your life. The lines between the two are often blurred. My work is often focused on helping owners and leaders better manage the stresses in their life. It’s about building the best life and the best business possible.
Have a good, solid business model. Now develop a great process – something that provides repeatable, predictable success. Put it all in a bowl and mix it up and you’ve got a means of operating – a way of doing business – that works to serve your business and your life.

So if you’re a business owner intent on growing yourself and your company…I’d love the opportunity to hear about your challenges and opportunities. Remember, if you’ve got challenges, then you also have opportunities! Contact me today.

Randy

237 Those Who Help Leaders Lead

Entrepreneurship, Leadership, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download ()

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | RSS | More

4027 Those Who Help Leaders Lead — The Lone Ranger wasn’t really alone. He had Tonto.

The Lone Ranger had Tonto. Johnny had Ed. Tom Petty has Mike Campbell.

Leaders need supporters to help them lead. I’m not talking about followers. I’m talking about the #1 follower. That someone special who the leader can’t do without. That person whose identity is so joined to the leader that they’re considered more like a team.

Inseparable really. The Lone Ranger needed Tonto. Johnny needed Ed and I’m a rabid Heartbreakers’ fan, unable to imagine Tom Petty without Mike. These are special partnerships where the two people aren’t equal – one is clearly in a position of leadership – but their work together excels in ways neither of them would otherwise realize. They both know they need each other. And they serve and support each other.

Effective leaders need a right-hand person who will provide superior support and feedback. It’s not a role just anybody can fill. It takes a special breed of person to give of themselves in a way to help somebody else.

Ego and envy usually get in the way. People can find it difficult to give of themselves so fully as to support somebody else’s success. But that’s exactly what must happen if you’re going to be a remarkable #2.

“I’m not gonna invest my career in him,” he tells me. The conversation had centered around taking responsibility for one’s career, something I think we should all do. But I’m sitting here wondering if I’ve been misunderstood.

“You have to invest in people though,” I exclaim. “Do you disagree?”

“Depends on how you define invest, I suppose,” he says.

What ensues is a long discussion about the limits of service and how that may impact our lives and our careers. We talk about rebellion, going your own way, carving out a path all your own and hoards of other idyllic philosophies. So I try to bring things back to the real world of figuring out who we are, what we are and how we can make the most of it.

My conversation partner is not a #1 guy. He’s a #2 guy, but he’s not a very good #2 guy. I know he’s not highly regarded by some in the organization. He doesn’t lack self-esteem. He lacks self-awareness.

I’ve encountered considerable self-absorption through the years. Plenty of people are delusional about their work, their careers and how others perceive them.

So I aim the discussion toward reputation management, something my conversation partner isn’t too keen on. He doesn’t think it’s necessary. He thinks it’s so much drivel that isn’t his problem, but somebody else’s.

I ask, “Do think I’m invested in you?” He looks at me, then peers around the room. Now I’ve spent hours with this guy. I’ve had more private conversations with his superiors than he’s even aware of. This isn’t my first rodeo and I can easily spot a person who brings value to the organization. This guy brings value. Unfortunately, he doesn’t bring enough. Yet. He can. He’s just resisting jumping higher to be part of the solutions. Too often he’s part of the problem and my job is to help him see it, explore ways to find solutions and to persuade him that he’s serving himself best when he’s serving those above him.

“I’m not sure,” he finally answers. I tell him that I think that’s fair, but I try to reassure him (I’ve assured him every single time we’ve talked) that I’m only here to serve him by helping him.

The conversation continues with much advancement. I leave feeling empty and sad. His bravado and outward confidence isn’t serving him well. I see the future and it’s not wonderful. So I leave wondering if I can do anything to convince him that his aspirations for top dog leadership are being stymied by his own arrogance. Early on I knew he was one of those “I’m the smartest guy in the room” people. He still is, even when his boss is in the room. Maybe especially when his boss is in the room.

Days later the boss wants to know, “How did you meeting with _________ go?”

I’m not going to lie. Or fluff it up. “Not very well,” I report. “I’m sorry that I’m not yet able to reach him because I know the value he can bring, but I also know the hurdles he presents. What are you seeing?”

The boss answers me. “I”m seeing some subtle things change. I suspect he’s learning more than you may think.”

He continues, “Don’t sweat it. He’s gonna have to decide for himself what he’s going to do.”

The boss sounds resigned. And I get it. He’s been looking for a solid #2 for a few years. He’s invested a lot of time and effort into this guy. Hoping he’d be the one. The guy’s got all the skills necessary, but he’s just more trouble than he’s worth on more days than not. And I knew the boss was tired of it when I first arrived. It’s what brought me the party. My job was to a) find out if the guy could adjust and adapt, b) provide him the tools necessary to be a capable #2 and c) help the boss learn some techniques to help the process. Along the way we’ve accomplished some pretty important stuff. The boss is pleased with my efforts. I knew he would be. I work hard. Nobody is going to try harder. I’m going to make sure of it. But I’m empty. Lost in how to help a person see what the rest of us think should be obvious.

“I just don’t care any more. I know what I’ve got to do,” says the boss. “I’m sorry,” I say.

“Don’t be. You’ve said it yourself. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Maybe we’ve got a jackass on our hands anyway.” He laughs. So do I.

“You know I’m not going to try to embed myself ’cause that’s not how I roll, but I’m perfectly willing to try whatever you feel might help.” I’m tough minded and I hate to lose. But I know I’m not in control of how somebody else lives their life.

“Let’s keep our work going,” he says. “What we’re doing together is important, but I don’t want you wasting any more time on him. I’d rather benefit from your insight myself.”

helping leaders lead And so it goes. A man with an opportunity to be a dynamite #2 is sooner or later going to be somebody somewhere else. He won’t likely be a #2. Or #3. All for the lack of seeing how his own career might benefit from hoisting up his boss with superior support and service. He just can’t bring himself to be Tonto, or Ed or Mike Campbell.

Lately I’ve been listening to the new Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers‘ record, Hypnotic Eye. I’ve seen this band live a few times. I bought the first record in 1976. Almost 40 years ago. Mike Campbell has been there every step of the way. And I wonder how differently thing might have turned out had Tom and Mike not stuck together. I wonder what might have happened if Mike couldn’t have withstood Tom being in the spotlight. Thankfully, for fans like me, the two of them realized they had something special and significant together that neither of them would have alone.

Could Tom have succeeded without Mike? Vice versa. Sure. They’re both talented guys. But we wouldn’t have Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. What a loss!

The band returned to their hometown of Gainsville, Florida back on October 28, 2008. It was their famous 30th anniversary show which was part of a documentary about them done by Peter Bogdanovich. During that show Tom introduced Mike as “the co-captain.” I bought the DVD when it came out and remember thinking when I heard Tom say that, “I’m sure glad Mike is cool with that.” And why shouldn’t he be? What a terrific musical career they’ve had together. Something remarkable!

Can you imagine the Rolling Stones without Mick and Keith together? Me neither. That’s how these things can go when people put something bigger ahead of themselves. Easier said than done for some. Maybe most even.

We can’t all be #1. Nor can we all be #2. Those are special situations.

For the past few years I’ve concentrated considerable effort in helping people with a strong #2 opportunity see that role and fulfill it. These are the people who can most help leaders lead. It’s an awesome responsibility and gift.

Leaders need a strong #2. The great leaders have them. The mediocre ones don’t. That’s just how it is. Steve Jobs needed Woz. Gates had Ballmer, Microsoft’s first business manager. You can see examples of it everywhere. A leader propelled to higher climes by having the push of a strong c0hort willing to do what must to be done so together they can be remarkable. It’s us. Together. Without concern for who gets the lion share of limelight. Because the work matters. The accomplishment is the thing.

Business. Music. Art. I don’t care what the endeavor is, leaders need those who help them lead. No leader has enough brilliance or anything else to go it alone. Besides, if you’re going it alone you’re not a leader. People follow leaders, not loners.

Maybe the guy or gal who would be a great #2 is born to it like a leader often seems to be. Maybe they emerge instead of being created, or encouraged. Still I try…especially when a leader so desperately wants to help a person reach #2 status.

There are a few qualities that I’m sure can be developed though. So if you’re interested in being a great #2 or in finding one, these tips may help.

1. The respect and admiration for the leader have to be genuine.

Anybody who thinks they can be a strong #2 and constantly criticize or argue with the boss or leader (#1) has already proven themselves unworthy to the task. In every case of successful collaboration between a #1 and #2 there is mutual respect and admiration that runs deep and true. It’s not contrived or fake.

Don’t try to fake it. You’re better off looking for somebody worthy of your true respect and admiration. If you’ve been looking for awhile unsuccessfully, then quit trying to be a good #2. Go ahead and join the herd who thinks they know everything. The masses who will live with discontentment, dissatisfied in being part of a team.

Find a cave. Enter. Stay there. Die there for all I care, but leave the rest of us alone ’cause you don’t contribute to our good effort.

2. The leader is the #1 customer.

We all serve somebody. Most of us serve a lot of people. We have to.

The strong #2 knows the person he serves most in the endeavor. It’s the boss, the leader. If the boss ain’t happy, the #2 works hard to change that. It’s their mission in life.

Like respect and admiration, it’s just an automatic sort of response. There’s no resentment about it. There’s no whining or complaining. It’s just the mission – to remedy the problem for the leader. To contribute. To be part of the solution, never part of the problem.

3. The strong #2 earns inner circle status and knows how to manage that responsibly.

There’s a time for debate and a time to salute an order. The strong #2 knows the difference instinctively. Sometimes the leader needs candid feedback that only the #2 can provide. But other times, the leader needs the #2 to lead the parade in supporting the mission so the troops see the commitment to advance.

Strong #2’s don’t cause the leader any public grief or conflict. They value their inner circle responsibility and remain true to it.

4. Envy and jealousy are replaced by joint participation and joy.

The strong #2 finds joy in the art of serving the highly respected #1. Mike Campbell can’t likely imagine playing lead guitar for anybody other than Tom Petty. And why would he? He’s got a very special relationship with Tom. There’s a joy he can get from playing music with Tom that he couldn’t find anywhere else. It’s not about Tom being the best. It’s about them being the best together!

I’m not bold enough to think strong #2’s never feel any emotions of envy or jealousy, but I know they don’t feel them long enough to act on them. Rather, they deem the work more important. Their sense of accomplishment and joy override any negative emotions that might damage the relationship.

Conclusion

There’s something quite special about being a leader, but there’s also something remarkable about the responsibility and opportunity to be among the top ones who help propel them lead. The entire team is benefited not just by the leader, but the #2. Together, they form a tandem of leadership that drives the success of the enterprise. It’s like double the horsepower to reach an objective that otherwise might be out of reach.

Sometimes the #2 must push. Other times, they have to pull. Whatever it takes to get the job done. It’s about as opposite of the remark I heard, “I’m not going to invest my career in him.” Then find somebody you can invest in because we’ve all got to serve somebody.

Randy

Photo of Mike Campbell used with permission of Debi Delgrande

237 Those Who Help Leaders Lead Read More »

“I Taught You Everything You Know!”

Communication, Leadership / By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 10:49 — 10.3MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | RSS | More

Today’s “quick hit” is 10:49 minutes long.

A student ends up competing with the teacher. The teacher is sore about it, but he shouldn’t be.

Consider the real estate business. A rookie agent goes to work for a broker. Fresh from getting her license she’s got to hang her shingle somewhere to get started. She finds a broker who agrees to take her on, give her a home base from which to operate and some ongoing learning in a hands on environment. Both the agent and the broker are thrilled…at the beginning.

During the first year Susan earned her stripes. She hustled and put forth extraordinary effort. It was clear she was in it for the long haul. Unlike so many other rookies who quit within the first year, she was determined that her career in real estate will be successful right now, and in the future, too.

Lots of hustling on her part and some terrific tutoring from the broker result in first year commissions in excess of $150,000. Yes, it was a year of 7 day work weeks without taking a single day off except when she got the flu for about 3 days. Sundays, weekends, evenings – all hot times for real estate showings meant devotion to her career over her personal life. But that was okay because she knew what she’d have to do to soar as high as possible in year one. The broker, her boss, was very impressed.

She sustained this for the next year and ended up topping out commissions for year two at just over $200,000. Not bad considering that the median income for real estate agents is just over $39,000. In her first two years she figured she had put in almost 6,500 hours (a full time job is 2080 hours a year and includes 2 weeks of vacation). Her 2-year total didn’t include the time she spent reading, studying and doing her best to jump the learning curve.

As she enters year three she’s given a killer opportunity with another broker who specializes in higher end properties. It’s a great opportunity brought about because her hustle has become well known in real estate circles. There’s a reason this other broker is wanting to add her to his team. She decides to make the leap and who could blame her?

Her first boss, that’s who!

He’s so angry he can’t see straight. Like too many bosses he takes it as a personal insult, even though he’d be doing the very same thing if he were in her shoes. But he’s not. He’s in his own shoes and he’s a self-centered, arrogant bully. After she has told him of her decision – which she did face to face in the most respectful way she could – he blew up at her by reminding her of how he took her in when she was a rookie. It was during that rant that he said what too many bosses have said to an employee, “I taught you everything you know!”

For starters, it’s not true. She learned by working her tail off. He taught her so she could earn him the broker’s portion of the commission. She became a rainmaker and earned him lots of money. More money than any other rookie in year one. And more than any other second year agent. Well, to be fair to her work – she earned him more than all the other rookie agents combined because more than half of them didn’t make it a full year before they quit. In year two, she blew away the remaining agents who started when she did. Her boss got his cut. She earned her keep, but he’s working hard to lay as much guilt on her as possible.

It works. She leaves torn up, feeling like a traitor. It wasn’t personal for her, it was simply a professional opportunity she wasn’t going to get by staying put. For her boss, he made it personal and viewed it as a betrayal.

Fortunately, her new boss isn’t like her old one. He’s a terrific mentor with a thriving agency that caters to the rich and famous. He assures her that his relationship with her is professional and that her hard work is why he’s bringing her into his firm. Without saying a word about her old boss, he tells her how excited he is to have her start because he knows she’ll excel. She leaves his office feeling much better. She’s no longer feeling like a traitor, now she’s angry at her old boss because she knows he’s a bully. She also knows he’s wrong.

He didn’t teach her everything. He did teach her some things, but he was also rewarded by her productivity. He only began to teach her some things after she stood head and shoulders above her rookie peers. Her performance caught his attention and garnered more tutoring. Bully or no, he was smart enough to know where he needed to invest some teaching and training.

It’s the classic case of an executive arguing with another executive about the training budget for employees.

Executive 1: “What happens if we invest more in developing our people and then they leave us?”

Executive 2: “What happens if we don’t invest more in developing our people and they stay?”

As they say in New Orleans, “True dat!”

Don’t Be That Guy

If you’re a boss, or any kind of authority figure, do not be insulted when people leave. You must avoid taking it or making it personal. It’s immature, childish and unprofessional.

If you’re not the boss and you find yourself confronted with this type of reaction…well, let’s back up a bit. First, make sure you handle your departure with professionalism and grace. That means you don’t just walk away. Give an appropriate notice. I don’t know your situation, but you know what’s right. Maybe it’s 2 weeks. Maybe it’s longer. Don’t make it shorter. Be aware that you may be asked to leave immediately. Be prepared for that. Financially and emotionally.

Okay, you’ve done the right thing by giving proper notice. Now, the bully hits you with “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me!” Perhaps followed by, “I taught you everything you know.”

Don’t respond with a defensive posture. It won’t help. Zig during the bully’s zag. The more animated and angry he/she gets, the calmer and cooler you should be.

Thank your boss for the opportunity. Don’t be bullied into revealing more than you’d like. Part of the bully tactic may be to find out all they can about where you’re going, especially if you’re staying in the same industry. Resist and pretend you’re a prisoner of war who refuses to give any sensitive information to the enemy. Remain politically correct (it irks me to even write that, but it’s the wise course). Repeat your thanks for the opportunity and express, if you’d like, how disappointed you are that they see this as a personal betrayal because it’s not. It’s simply a professional decision that better suits you right now.

Leave on the best terms possible. Be gracious in your exit. The hard part is protecting your feelings. Don’t be hurt by the bully’s harshness. It’s likely he’d be just as harsh with anybody else sitting there. He takes everything personally when he’s on the receiving end. However, when he’s on the delivering end – perhaps firing an employee – it’s strictly business. Trust me when I tell you, he’s self-centered and has no concerns for you. He’s only thinking of himself in all matters. It’s how he’s made up his mind he’s going to view the world and you’re not going to change that. Do not try!

Walk away as peacefully and quietly as possible. Avoid getting sucked into long, laborious dialogue with the bully. He’ll likely go for that, especially if he doesn’t want you to leave. His goal will be to guilt you into staying, or guilt you into feeling horrible. Keep the conversation brief, on point and cordial (at least on your part).

Be firm that your decision is made (if indeed it is). Be clear that it’s not a ploy to gain any advantage from him. Thank him for the opportunity (do this more than once, but don’t over do it). If you’re allowed to remain throughout the notice period, assure him you’re going to do everything in your power to tie up whatever loose ends remain because you want to leave on the highest note possible.

Then, move on with your life and excel in your new position. Don’t look back. Remember Lot’s wife (she turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back – Gen. 19:26).

“I Taught You Everything You Know!” Read More »

Coaching Session 6

By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 18:48 — 17.6MB)

Today’s audio is 18:48 minutes.

By now we’ve likely established some specific goals. And we’ve probably at least broached the topic of STRATEGY.

Goals and objectives answer the question of WHAT. Now, we’ve got to get busy with strategy because it answers the question of HOW.

How am I going to accomplish my goals?”

There has to be a plan. So let’s talk about planning. Let”s dive into strategy.

It Doesn’t Have To Be Perfect

Most of us have grown up hearing all the usual drivel…and unfortunately, many of us believe it’s true.

Dot your i’s and cross your t’s.

Get your ducks in a row.

Sweat the details.

In certain context they’re all decent advice. The problem is our inclination to swallow things hook, line and sinker (speaking of cliches). It all compels us to think we’ve got to pre-think every conceivable possibility and outcome. The pressure mounts as we attempt to figure out what we should do, and how we should go about it. If it doesn’t paralyze us, it slows us down because we continue to work on our plan fearful that we’re overlooking something.

Some years ago Dr. Paul Dobransky, M.D. told a story in his newsletter that illustrates a powerful point about strategy, time and incompleteness. He operates a website for men at MensPsychology.com. It’s clearly a male perspective, but the point applies to all of us.

I was talking with a friend who had been in the Marines.

We were talking about how it can be so difficult to get a guy to make the right decision in his life. I know so many guys who agonize and agonize over the major ones when its time to get exclusive with a woman or even marry her, when its time to cut your losses and move on with a career thats just plain bad for you and doesnt treat you right, or what to do with money in building your life.

He said, Um, that doesn’t happen to a Marine, because we have the 70% Solution.

Needless to say, my curiosity was peaked.

He went on to tell me that when there is a military operation going down, if the guys on the ground are faced with a difficult decision and wait around for a 100% CERTAINTY of a decision being the right one, they might be waiting FOREVER.

And that is DEADLY when lives are at stake.

He said that the general rule is that if a soldier is 70% or more certain of the situation, he needs to go ahead and MAKE THE DECISION based on that percent amount, and commit to the action he sees as best at the time.

This saves lives and works out the best. When mistakes are made some of the time (and most often they are not, or are minimal), the bad results can be reviewed and improved on next time.

This is one reason that I’ve learned through the years to be a speed freak. Okay, I’m naturally a speed freak, but early leadership roles taught me the value of going with my natural inclination. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not talking about flying by the seat of your pants or being a master of the knee jerk reaction. I’m talking about forward progress with minimal hesitation.

He Who Hesitates

You know the saying. “He who hesitates is lost.” Dictionary.com defines it this way. “A person who spends too much time deliberating about what to do loses the chance to act altogether.”

Timing is important because time changes things. Opportunities come and go…in a flash. Challenges grow. Minds change. Perceptions erode. But there’s a problem. And it drives us crazy.

“Let’s sleep on it. Things will look different in the morning.”

We’ve all thought it, said it and followed that advice. And it’s often very wise. So how do we resolve this whole speed thing with delaying action so we can gather our thoughts (and sometimes, our emotions)?

Remember, we’re talking about STRATEGY. Yes, it involves decisions, but let’s stay on point with our context. We have our list of 2 or 3 things we’d like to accomplish. That decision has been made, even if it’s not written in stone. You’ve got these things in your mind that you really want to “get done.” Now, it’s about how to best go about getting them done!

So many of these wisdom quotes apply to situations where we don’t know what to do. We’re stuck. Or we’re in a highly emotional state.

A woman suddenly loses her husband to a car wreck. Her life is turned upside down in an instant. Should she be a speed freak in making decisions about her life? Of course not. Besides, what’s the hurry? There are no opportunities that are going to slip by if she takes some time. There are no challenges that are going to be magnified by delaying a decision. And…she’s suffering the most emotional ride of her life. She relies on family and friends to help her with the vital decisions (funeral arrangements, etc.). Well meaning friends may encourage her to do something with the house, or with a move…but mental health experts will likely encourage her to avoid making any life changing decisions for a good long while. She needs time to sort out what she wants.

Situations dictate strategy and how we go about constructing strategy.

What’s the time element for you? That’s important. Think about it and carefully consider it. This won’t likely take long. I’m betting you already know the time element.

Do you have an hour, a day, a week, a month, a quarter, a year? How long do you have before you need to act? How long do you have before you have to have the work completed?

Your list of 2 or 3 goals may consist of 2 or 3 different timelines. That’s okay. Just consider the situation and the timeline associated with each one.

Hesitation often stems from not knowing what to do, or how to do it. Sometimes it’s self-imposed because we avoid thinking about it. We delay and procrastinate because maybe it’s an unpleasant thing and we just don’t want to think about it. Whatever the reason, hesitation equals delay. That’s not the same as giving something sober consideration.

The widow who delays a decision about whether to sell the house and move isn’t hesitating. She’s taking the necessary time to consider her options. She’s sorting things out. She’s taking action by carefully thinking through what she wants to do and what she needs to do. And if she’s wise, she’s collecting information from trusted advisors who are helping her consider things she may be uninformed about (tax and financial concerns, for instance).

Maybe you need to take that kind of time to come up with a good plan. That’s fine. Just make sure you’re not putting things off due to hesitation (procrastination).

What’s The Worst Thing That Can Happen?

Usually the worst thing that can happen doesn’t. But it could.

The courage isn’t in asking the question. Everybody asks it…mostly rhetorically.

True courage is in answering it. So, go ahead. Answer the question. Then press on like a 4 year old and keep asking, “and then?”

It goes something like this.

The boss could get mad. “And then?”

He could write me up. “And then?”

He could fire me. “And then?”

I’d lose my income. “And then?”

I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills. “And then?”

I’d lose my car. “And then?”

I’d have to borrow my mom’s car. “And then?”

Very quickly most people realize that not only are the latter answers unlikely, but the first ones are, too. Most of the time when I sit down and ask clients to do this, they readily admit that the very first item isn’t likely to happen. Well, if the first fear isn’t likely to happen, then what are you waiting for? Are you waiting for some miraculous measure of fearlessness?

I do have an answer that is very likely. If you don’t decide on a strategy then you’ll do nothing and that will be worse than doing something!

Form A Plan. Work The Plan. Re-Work The Plan.

This is where I discovered the truthfulness of that Marine 70% formula, and how important speed can be in forward progress. I’ll share a secret I learned, but I’ll admit my need for speed served me well. Call it serendipity if you’d like.

I was about 24 years old. I had just been hired in my first general manager job. I was already an experienced manager, but I had never done anything at this scale before. And to top it off, it was a turnaround project. It was a pilot operation for a large company. It was a high-end consumer electronics retail operation serving as a test for expansion. The operation was a little over a year old and it was failing miserably. The first GM had just been fired. The store manager had been fired. The day they were fired was my first day. I didn’t have time to sit around and ponder for too long.

I quickly discovered that part of the problem was merchandising. As you might imagine, merchandising and inventory are the life blood of successful retail. Well, I had stepped into a situation where the inventory was in dreadful shape. Wrong price points. Obsolete merchandise. Too many gaps. Too many out of stock situations. You name it. I had every imaginable inventory problem.

And I had no store manager. I had a sales staff that seemed lethargic and incapable.

But what I really had was an opportunity. I was thinking, “Well, it won’t take much to outshine the last guy.”

I took action. I got a store manager I could trust, somebody I had worked with. We quickly formed a plan to get the staff in shape. We supported them, but ramped up accountability. We immediately got the entire place cleaner than it had ever been. In every turnaround I’ve ever done – it doesn’t matter what business it is – I’ve jumped on housekeeping. It’s amazing how cleaning things up symbolizes improvement. It’s a universal thing. When you clean things up people immediately have a stronger sense of pride and accomplishment.

I took more action. I went through the inventory while walking the warehouse and marked down every single item that didn’t belong (most of it). Cash is king in every business and I was relentless.

On and on it went, lots of fast action. I didn’t get it all 100% accurate, but during this time I soon realized that I could make much better decisions and formulate much better strategies by acting quickly. I’d visit with peers from other companies at conventions like the Consumer Electronics Show and it was apparent that I was making about 3 decisions for every 1 decision they made. But it wasn’t merely a “more is better” proposition. By the time they made their first decision I was on my third. And my third decision was based on things I had learned during the first two decisions. That put me way ahead of my peers in other companies.

It made sense to me that decisions and strategies were vastly improved by speed. These weren’t modest improvements. They were quantum leap improvements.

I also learned something else that seemed to get past some of my industry peers at the time. I was willing to re-work the plan more quickly than most. I would devise a strategy, work the strategy with intensity, but I was always willing to embrace changing it if the results weren’t what I expected or wanted. I refused to fall in love with a strategy no matter what the outcome. I focused on getting the result and if the strategy was failing, I’ll quickly formed a new strategy based on what I had learned.

I saw other people in the industry using the “push harder” approach to their strategies. If the strategy wasn’t working, they quickly figured it was because they weren’t working the strategy hard enough. Well, I had already eliminated that from the equation because I had systems in place (along with capable leadership) to insure the execution was at least “good enough.” Push harder just delays the need to change the strategy.

Not All Time Is Equal

When you’ve got millions of dollars tied up in inventory that’s growing more obsolete by the day…you’ve got to act quickly because time is money. The more you delay marking down the inventory, the more money you’ll lose. Take a $100 item and mark it down to $70 today so you can sell it…or wait a week and you’ll have to mark it down to $60. That’s how it works in retailing.

When you’ve got the opportunity to purchase a deal that may garner an extra 20% profit, but the vendor says, “We’ve got to have your order right now” – that’s a different time element.

Both demand you act now. In the former, you must act or it most certainly will cost you. It’s not so cut and dried in the latter scenario.

Will you really make an extra 20%? Is this deal going to everybody and their dog or it is exclusively yours? Can you get a deeper deal? Is this merchandise congruent with your overall plan? Do you have the cash to invest? Do you want to invest the cash you’ve got in this deal?

Whenever a person tells me they need an answer RIGHT NOW. I have a standard answer. Every single time.

NO.

That philosophy has never failed me. Sometimes it’s gotten me a much better deal.

The point is that not all time constraints are identical. The pressure of time is often real (as in the markdown example). Other times, it’s contrived (as in the vendor offering me a “right now” deal).

Make sure you have a good idea of the time element for your strategies. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you have more or less time. Be realistic.

Let’s Get A Workable Strategy

I use the term “workable” for a few reasons.

Workable means what works for you. A good strategy for you may be different than a good strategy for somebody else.
Workable means a strategy that has the best chance for a favorable outcome.
Workable means a strategy that you can execute. You don’t need other people to do something in order to pull it off.
Workable means a strategy that won’t risk the farm. Betting the farm is rarely a good strategy.
Workable means a strategy that can be course corrected if you find it doesn’t work as expected.

Make your notes. Think through the challenges and risks. Consider the upside.

It’s time to ramp up our work.

Coaching Session 6 Read More »

212 – Climbing Up The Corporate Food Chain: “You’re Either A Money-Maker Or A Killer!”

Leadership, Personal Development, Podcast / By Randy Cantrell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:39 — 34.9MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | RSS | More

Kurt Sutter's Outlaw Empires — Kurt Sutter’s Outlaw Empires

Kurt Sutter is the guy behind “Sons of Anarchy.” Back in 2012 he did a documentary on the Aryan Brotherhood for the Discovery Channel series, Outlaw Empires.

The Aryan Brotherhood was born in the 1960’s and grew from a prison system based band of criminals to one of the most feared groups in history. One person in the documentary, John (one of the founders) revealed how the group finally realized they needed a more structured leadership. By the 1980’s they had established a 3-man commission. He was one of the commissioners. An articulate man imprisoned for life, he said, “There’s only two ways to get to the top. You either earn your way or kill your way. You’re either a money-maker or a killer.”

Don’t go thinking I know my way around climbing to the top of a criminal organization. I have no firsthand knowledge or experience. I have seen The Godfather and plenty of documentaries on organized crime so I understand the basic concepts.

In season 1 of Vikings (a History Channel TV series that is now in season 2), the main character, Ragnar Lothbrok, engaged in a one-on-one battle with Earl Haraldson, the local chieftain. The victor would be acknowledged by the society as the ruler. Ragnar killed Earl Haraldson and instantly became the chieftain. Survival of the fittest and all that.

In the business sector it’s not terribly different, except it’s less literal and more metaphorical. Power, fear and authority in the corporate setting often stem from a person’s ability to do you harm. Hopefully, no literal blood is shed. It’s bad enough to have a career that hemorrhages to death. At least you can go find another one and start over though. If you get shanked in prison and die…or if you battle to the death with a subordinate who wants your kingdom, let’s just say your opportunities for redemption are dead, too.

As for the money-maker or the earner, we all appreciate the person who can get us things we can’t otherwise find. From Radar on MASH who could work magic to get the supplies lacking at the 4077, to the rainmaker who brings in new clients to the law firm – and all the countless examples in between – we all have learned the value of the person who can bring in business or increase the assets. They become indispensable to the organization. They may become indispensable to us, too.

Money-Maker or Killer: Which One Are You?

Don’t confuse money making with just sales. It’s not merely about revenue generation. It’s about being valuable and other people seeing your value. It’s also why killing your way to the top works so well. It gains you instant visibility. And notoriety. Doing good work tends to keep you off the radar like a referee in a game who does a great job. You can become invisible if you report to work daily and do a good job. You can’t remain anonymous if you’re terrorizing people.

Now I don’t have to tell you that if you’ve got enough cold water in your veins to instill fear among your cohorts, you’re eventually going to encounter somebody whose blood runs even colder. Then what will you do? Or you may go after the wrong person, at the wrong time and find yourself lying in a pool of your own blood. Ruthlessness is a hard road to follow in getting ahead, but history is filled with success stories.

But there’s another kind of killer in the business world, the person capable of besting the competition. We tend to focus merely on people inside the company who get ahead at the expense of their peers. That’s a crummy way to go. Instead, it’s possible to add value to your organization because you have an ability to defeat the competition, or contribute heavily toward that cause.

Money makers and killers. It’s two completely different personalities, skill sets and inclinations. But both can achieve success others only dream of.

What if you’re neither of these? What if you’re not resourceful in bringing value and you’re not a killer either? Well, kiss your butt good-bye. You’ve got to add value somewhere, somehow. Then, you’ve got to be visible enough to gain proper recognition. Else…you’ll wind up like the millions who suffer daily with the frustration of feeling under-appreciated.

Some tips discussed in today’s podcast:

You have to identify and faithfully serve your number one customer. It’s not who you think it is.
You have to be able to see problems and solutions.
You have to be able to clearly communicate your ideas, and sell them.
You must believe in yourself and your ideas. It’s a confidence you must cultivate.
You can’t be bashful, but you can’t be overbearing either. You have to know when/where to pick your spots.
You must forge helpful alliances. Successful people don’t go it alone.
Visibility is key. You have to help others see your value else it will go unnoticed.
Your value is often determined by what others value, not what you value.
Life is not fair, but you can improve your odds by being capable, smart, confident and visible.
Gripe guts and malcontents won’t rise to the top and if they do, they won’t stay there long. Don’t join them. Avoid them.
Promote other people. Climb the ladder with colleagues. You need their help. Besides, it broadens your scope of influence.
It’s a marathon with countless sprints built in along the way. Be prepared to break away from the pack in an instant. You never know when your opportunity will come.
Do not let it go to your head. Keep your head on a swivel and stay on top of your game. Keep building value in your career.
Success is never final. Be prepared to suffer a setback.
Failure isn’t final either. Well, it doesn’t have to be. Be resilient. Bounce back. Be a fighter!

212 – Climbing Up The Corporate Food Chain: “You’re Either A Money-Maker Or A Killer!” Read More »

Luck, Timing And A Benefactor: Lessons From Early American Titans Of Industry

Entrepreneurship / By Randy Cantrell

“Like most young people who get breaks, luck has a lot to do with it, and timing. And the second factor, besides timing, is that as a young man usually all of us would admit that there was a mentor, a benefactor. And when an older person who you respect and admire has confidence in you, it’s a great booster to your own self-confidence.”

– Steve Wynn, regarding Tom Scott’s mentoring of Andrew Carnegie, on the History Channel’s “The Men Who Built America”

Timing. Andrew Carnegie’s life was full of good timing and bad timing. Not unlike your life. Or mine.

As a 12-year old boy, “Andy” was working for Tom Scott’s Pennsylvania Railroad. He became Scott’s personal assistant and in short order, Scott took a special interest in Carnegie. He taught young Carnegie the railroad business, and along the way a thing or two about operating a business.

There’s much more to success in business than luck, timing and a benefactor. Some things that are good. Others…not so much.

Ruthless business behavior isn’t limited to the stories you hear about today’s technology giants or social media moguls. It was well practiced by the men who built America. Winners don’t take well to losing. Some will do whatever it takes – legal or not, ethical or not – to gain an advantage.

Smartness isn’t the private domain of those who’ve built companies like Apple, Microsoft, Intel, Oracle or Facebook. Being smart pays off in every arena of life and in every era. Yet, there are many success stories whose main character was less than brilliant. You don’t have to be a top drawer brain to be successful in business.

Luck, timing and a person willing to show us the way or help us out are three common denominators often seen in the stories of successful people. That isn’t meant to diminish brilliance, determination and courage. Or the power of ruthlessness.

Post Civil War America was built mostly by ruthless men. Men whose business success was fueled by fearlessness, opportunity and an intense desire to best their peers. Putting the other guy out of business was often the primary objective in the early 1900’s. During America’s industrial age capitalism was dominated with men doing their best to gain a monopolistic advantage. From railroads, to steel, to oil and to electricity – early American business success came most to those able to dominate an infrastructure industry.

Could these industries have progressed without enemies driving the competitive spirit? Likely not. It’s the reason Edison invented the electric chair! Nor is it likely that any of these early pioneers of business could have achieved their success without luck, timing and a benefactor.

Take Edison and Tesla, one of Edison’s underlings. Both were brilliant (smart). Both were hard-working and devoted to their ideas. Tesla resigned from Edison’s company because of his firm belief that alternating current (AC) was more powerful and useful than direct current (DC). Edison was all in on DC and dismissed Tesla’s ideas so Tesla quit.

Edison had JP Morgan backing him. Tesla had Westinghouse.

JP Morgan ended up with the whole shebang called General Electric. Sometimes one benefactor wound up on top! It’s always better to have successful coat tails to latch onto. History might have been very different if Tesla’s benefactor had won. But he didn’t. Tesla’s horse lost and the rest is history.

Without boldness, courage, conviction in their rightness and confidence in their ability…it’s doubtful any of these early American businessmen would have found luck, timing or a benefactor. Good things don’t necessarily come to those who wait. More often than not, they come to those who step out from the crowd determined to find them, chase them down and own them. It’s high risk behavior.

But I wonder if it’s any riskier than those poor workers who suffered the abuses of working conditions that were life threatening. Living without options, no choices. Destined to accept whatever low wage was offered, working whatever schedule was imposed on them and suffering a life without hope for improvement.

The titans created their own choices. Failure was always an option, but so was success. It seems they were driven to have choice. And to connect with whomever could help them achieve their dream. They were committed to their own cause, their own idea and their own belief. I hope you are, too!

Luck, Timing And A Benefactor: Lessons From Early American Titans Of Industry Read More »

Search Results for: The Power Of Peers

Understand Yourself Better

Age Doesn’t Matter – Intentions Don’t Either

Clarity

How Can You Help The Podcast?

Sometimes The Lone Wolf Isn’t Alone Because He Wants To Be

Sometimes The Lone Wolf Is Alone Because He Wants To Be

Growing Or Dying?

Subscribe to the podcast

Subscribe to the podcast

Business Owners (period)

Bula Network Owners’ Alliance

What?

Don’t Be That Guy

It Doesn’t Have To Be Perfect

He Who Hesitates

What’s The Worst Thing That Can Happen?

Form A Plan. Work The Plan. Re-Work The Plan.

Not All Time Is Equal

Let’s Get A Workable Strategy

Money-Maker or Killer: Which One Are You?