Randy Cantrell

Randy Cantrell is the founder of Bula Network, LLC - an executive leadership advisory company helping leaders leverage the power of others through peer advantage, online peer advisory groups. Interested in joining us? Visit ThePeerAdvantage.com

What Men Need Most

Like. Love. Trust. Admire. Adore.

We want others to feel this way toward us. Well, at least we want some people to feel this way toward us.

A young lady wants the handsome prince to come take her away to the life of her dreams. Some young ladies are stuck with not-so-handsome, beneath-royalty bald guys with low voices. At least one of them is. I didn’t start out that way. At least not the bald part.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Not that I really care. My wife doesn’t even care…much. This video isn’t the result of a day where men buy their women more roses and chocolates than any other day. It’s not even the result of over 34 years of marriage.

Two specific things have bubbled these ideas to the top of my usually empty brain.

a) Too many marriages that aren’t what they should be. Sadly, I know too many.

b) My own realization that there was a time when with great anticipation I’d plan a weekend trip to just spend a few precious hours with a girl I loved. Friday would arrive. I’d go to class, then go to work. I’d work until 6pm or so, then drive 11 hours one-way through the night arriving around 6am to a little street in Ft. Worth where she lived. Without sleep I’d relish the few hours we had together. After attending church services on Sunday morning we’d grab a quick bite to eat and down the road I’d go, another 11 hours back home. Eleven sad hours. Horrible drives filled with memories of mere moments together. Thinking to myself, “I’m spending more time driving to her and away from her than I am WITH her.” About 2 miles down the road I’d begin planning my next visit. Such was life for about 3 years until at last I married her and brought her home. We’ve been together now for almost 70% of our lives. With each passing year, that percentage increases. Now there’s a thought, huh?

I love her very much. I’m still the young man driving an orange hot rod 11 hours one-way determined to get to her. I’m older. Wider. With less hair. And my car now has 4 cylinders, not 8. No, it’s not orange. I wish. But it’s faster than Sundance (my 1972 orange one). As you get older you need more speed – because you’ve got less time. Which is why it’s silver. Greater speed requires more stealth.

I realize the level of passion felt by young love is difficult, if not impossible to maintain. Life happens. We get in a groove. We grow older. If we’re blessed, we grow old. We enter a comfort zone. Me? I’m trying to grow more than just old.

I’m growing increasingly committed to reversing the groove where I more diligently honor our time together. For me, it’s an objective and goal of life. To be a man worthy of her admiration and adoration. I suspect she needs it. I know I do. And I believe every man should behave in ways worthy of it…because we all know, it’s what we need most!

 

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Episode 116 – Does The Ground Match Your Map?

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When the ground doesn’t match the map, trust the ground. 

Career or business planning – mapping – is crucial to our success. Some people hate planning, claiming it slows down their action. Movement, motion – those are the activities they value most. Others love planning and spend many hours dotting i’s and crossing t’s.

RSA Animate has some terrific illustrations tethered to compelling speeches or presentations. Quite often they’re TED presentations. Here’s their YouTube channel. It’s one methodology of capturing ideas in a very engaging way. I think it can teach us some valuable things in creating our own career or business mapping.

Allstate calls this commercial, GPS Mayhem. Fitting. It’s what happens to many of us in our careers or businesses. We’re not thinking about where we’re going. We’re not trusting our senses, or even paying close enough attention to know where we’re going. GPS recalculates, shouts an instruction and we turn the wheel sharply. Not the best way to take advantage of mapping.

In a recent Mixery interview, Andrew Warner’s guest (and he wasn’t the first to confess this) admitted that he and his friends spent 2 years working on a software that nobody wanted. They were men of action. No map. No real plan. Just taking action. Unfortunately, nobody wanted what they were creating. In retrospect, they knew they’d have been far better off getting feedback – recalculating the GPS based on the reality of the ground.

Small changes in direction can make big differences. Small details often alter the course of our lives. A decision here. A different decision there. And our lives would be very different. It makes me think of those EPSN segments of sports science. A one degree change here. A one inch arm reach difference. They’re the margin of error, or victory.

Listen to the show, give me your feedback. Am I on the right road to help you?

 

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