Those of us with the “heart of a teacher” have an innate urge to explain so we can foster understanding. Or greater understanding. Especially when we’re asked a question.
The other day I was talking with a gentleman and attempting to answer his question. It was a question I had been asked before so I didn’t hesitate to provide a thorough, albeit succinct answer. The answer is tried and true. Honest, forthright, to the point, but very authentic.
But first, a bit of background about this conversation.
We’re a time zone apart and at least a dozen states separate us.
We had been missing each other all day…by now we had each engaged in a short voicemail dance. He wanted to talk with me. We had exchanged emails prior to the voicemail exchanges. This wasn’t a call he was avoiding. He sought out this conversation.
So “tag,” I was it. I called him back. This time, he picked up right away. I did what I always do (a professional habit developed when I was young), I asked the question, “Is this a good time to talk?”
“Yes, it’s an ideal time,” he responded.
“Great, I know you’ve got questions so I’ll answer anything I can,” I said.
Within seconds the question was posed and I began to answer. Comprehensive, but only about 3-minutes long. Maybe 2.
“I hope that helps clarify this project for you. Do you have any other questions?” I asked.
“I think that’s the longest answer I’ve ever heard to a single question,” he said.
Offended, but not showing it, I sincerely replied, “I apologize.”
Then…I shut up.
He didn’t do what most people would do in that situation…say something like, “Oh, that’s quite alright, I appreciate the details.” No, this man insulted me, then went right on with another question.
Even my dogs learn pretty quick when I scold them. Last time I checked, I’m smarter than my dogs. My wife doesn’t always think so, but I think she’s wrong.
Hesitant to even answer any more questions, I kept my answers as short as possible. I was careful to avoid coming across like a jerk (like him). I concentrated on NOT giving as I had received. It just usually never works. Whoever said “fight fire with fire” never successfully put out a fire. Besides, turn the other cheek is sound advice.
My mind said, “Say no more!” I obeyed. Sorta. Short, concise answers with extremely limited details. They seemed good enough for him. Not a naturally inquisitive fella, I supposed.
“Fine,” I thought. No problem. I’m not trying to be his buddy. I’m just trying to explain a project that has big benefits to him and no cost whatsoever, aside from a bit of his time. It’s a non-business project for me, but it has some serious business benefits for him.
For the rest of the call I purposefully toned down the energy in my voice to mirror his lack of personality. Hopeful that if I sounded more like him in tone and pace, he might warm up.
Nope.
I carefully measured my words, tone, pace and length of my talking. The call ended well enough, but I thought of the countless thousands of interactions I’ve had in my life – with people from all over the world. And I considered (thankfully) how infrequently this has ever happened to me. I’m pretty accomplished at breaking the ice with people. Mr. Iceburg won this round.
After more than 15 minutes on the phone it was very clear to me – he’s just not a friendly man. Silently I wondered about this man’s family and friends. Surely they see somebody very different than the man I saw (heard). But I don’t know.
My conclusion, which admittedly may be incorrect, was that he’s a self-centered, impatient man mostly interested in his own gain.
Which is perfectly fine with me, given the nature of my interaction with him (or any future ones I may have). It’ll take a lot more than his crassness to put me off. I’ve got more tenacity in my left (non-dominate) hand than he’s got in his whole body!
It’s just likely his nature. I’m too experienced to take it personally even though I did take the challenge very seriously. The challenge to crack his communication code.
We’ve got another call scheduled soon. We’ll see how that one goes, but I’ve learned my lesson. I’m going to shut my mouth and let him lead the way. I’m going to do everything I can to see if I can’t find a way to get him to warm up. Challenges like this invigorate me. It’s a study of psychology and communication.
I’m determined to win the next round. I’ll let you know how I fare!
Long before he was the grand poopah over at Fox News, Roger Ailes ran his own communications company in New York City. He was the executive producer of The Mike Douglas Show back in the day. He’s coached and counseled executives, celebrities and politicians. In 1988 he headed up the advertising for the campaign of George H. W. Bush (the senior Bush). The man knows his stuff.
“You Are The Message: Getting What You Want By Being Who You Are” by Roger Ailes
I bought and read this book back in 1988 when it was published. The other day I snagged it off the shelf to revisit it. I intended to skim through it, but I just may sit down and actually re-read the entire thing. Yep, it’s that good!
It really deserves more than a Bula! Minute (they’re not really a minute, but they are under 4). You can likely find a copy of this at your local used bookstore or snatch up a copy online somewhere.
I’m a sucker for a good communications book. My shelves are filled with them, but this one has stood the test of time. Besides, I like Mr. Ailes’ style.
Digital new media changes can help content producers.
This month Edison Research released a new study entitled, “The Infinite Dial 2013: Navigating Digital Platforms.”Click here to download the PDF of the entire report, but I’ll give you a bird’s eye view.
• 24% of American homes have 3 or more working computers
• 67% have Internet and a Wi-Fi network
• 24% have 5 or more devices connected to their network
• 45% or 120 million Americans listened to online radio in the last month. Think Pandora, I Heart Radio, Spotify, etc.
• 33% or 83 million Americans listened to online radio in the last week.
• The average self-reported time spent listening to online radio is almost 12 hours a week.
• Pandora has about 182 million users. I Heart Radio has about 119 million. Spotify has about 57 million. They’re all show substantial growth.
• 46% of Americans are familiar with the term “podcasting.”
• 27% have listened to an audio podcast. 22% have watched a video podcast.
• 12% have listened to a podcast in the past month. That’s about 32 million people.
• More than a quarter of podcast listeners consume 6 or more podcasts a week.
• 43% have watched an online video in the past week. That’s about 113 million people.
• YouTube seems to be leveling off. The number of people consuming video last month and last week seem flat compared to last year.
• The average time spent by users with online radio is just under 12 hours a week compared to 4 hours of video.
• 53% of Americans, or as estimated 139 million people, own smart phones.
• The top 4 uses of smart phones are (in this order): making and receiving phone calls, sending and receiving text messages, taking pictures and surfing the Internet.
• 47% of all smart phone users have downloaded the Pandora app.
• 50% of the 12-24 aged population use texting most often as their form of communication.
• 52% of cell phone users have their cell phone always within reach.
• 3 in 10 wake up daily to their cell phone.
• 29% of Americans own a tablet computer. 14% own an Apple iPad.
• 62% of Americans have a social media profile somewhere online.
• 58% have a Facebook profile (far and away the leading platform). Next in line? LinkedIn at 17%. Surprised? So was I. Twitter is at 15%. Prepare for a real shock – MySpace is at 14%. Pinterest is at 10%.
• Year over year growth on social media is highest among people 55 and older.
• 27% of Americans, about 71 million, check their social media daily.
• 12 to 24 year olds have the highest number of social media connections (around 500). The average of all age groups is 262.
• 44% hear about a Tweet daily, but not on Twitter.
• 29% of Facebook users express a political opinion there. 13% admit they’ve unfriended somebody because of it.
There are many more fun facts to digest in this report. Download it, absorb it and see if it can help you design better methods of communicating with your audience.
I don’t have time to blog or produce online content.
There are millions of websites. Hundreds of millions actually!
There are no official numbers posted, but some estimate there are over 1 billion YouTube channels.
What about podcasts? Again, official numbers are tough, but estimates are around 200,000 different podcasts. They likely represent millions of episodes.
It’s all content. Text. Video. Audio.
Besides, there are already too many people hollering their message in my industry.
Yes, it’s crowded and growing more so every single day. But the herd is also thinning while it’s growing. Think about that for a moment. While some people are just launching their website or blog…others are abandoning theirs.
Unfortunately, the Internet is a place where people can own abandoned, broken down real estate. It clutters up every online neighborhood. Imagine driving through a nice neighborhood in your home town and you see a nice, well kept house with a terrific front lawn. Right next door there is a house that hasn’t been painted in years. The yard is over grown. The roof is falling in.
It’s the same thing in almost any niche you care to examine. You’ll find very nice, updated sites with current, up-to-date content. Then, just next door (one click away), you’ll find another site that hasn’t been touched for years.
Don’t be discouraged by the number of competitors.
I was looking through the Apple iTunes podcast directory at the SEO (search engine optimization) podcasts. Just a casual glance revealed at least 100 different podcasts in the SEO category. Yes, that’s quite a few for a specific niche.
I selected that specific niche for a reason. It’s about Internet-based technology that is always changing because the search engines are constantly updating their algorithms to produce better results for the end user. Anybody in the SEO space has to stay on top of it or they get left behind. Anybody producing content in the SEO space has to maintain a discipline and dedication to keep their content updated. Not only that, but unlike many spaces, SEO information grows old. In the online world you’ll hear the phrase “evergreen content.” That just means in many niches a blog post might be written today (or a podcast episode might be released) that is still valid years from now because the principles and truths of what’s released today don’t change. Or they don’t change that often or that much. Not so in the SEO space. It’s constantly moving.
Let’s suppose you’re an SEO expert and you look at all the podcasts on the subject…are you discouraged? Well, if you are, then you’ll have a stroke when you look at the websites and blogs on the topic.
Google “SEO experts” and you’ll get almost 16 million search results. Sure, many of those are just pages or articles about the topic, but it provides a glimpse of the popularity of the topic. There are tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of SEO experts around. Besides that, many companies have SEO experts in house!
It’s also a niche with a pretty high barrier of entry. SEO is a technical craft that requires people know their stuff – and that they remain devoted to ongoing learning. We mere mortals lack the attention span, capacity or interest to delve into their world for too long. But, it’s a very crowded space.
I’ve purchased countless books on the topic. I’ve listened to more mind-numbing podcast and watched more coma-inducing videos than I can remember. There are some brilliant people in the space, but one person stands out for me. He’s the red ball in the sea of gray balls that represent the SEO world. He’s really more than just an SEO guy because he focuses on traffic, which is what SEO is all about anyway. I resonate with Neil Patel. Yes, I am a customer, too.
When I look at the SEO world I don’t see too many other people. I see Neil. I’m pretty sure other people see a different red ball.
Think about the people you listen to or read. Do you have a favorite sports columnist? A favorite food show host? A favorite TV show? Sure. We all do. Ask yourself why you like them.
Uniqueness isn’t just in what you know, or what you do – it’s also in who you are and how you deliver.
Style matters. Yes, substance is the competency you bring with you. You must be capable in whatever service you provide. But let’s assume you’re competent. Your favorite sports columnist has tons of competition, but you prefer reading his stuff. Is he more competent than all the others. Doubtful. But he might concentrate more on your favorite sport. Or he might always have a very strong opinion. To you…he’s different than all the others. He stands out for you.
Let me leave you with just a few reasons why you shouldn’t let the competition stop you from producing online content to tell your story.
1. Even if you’re in the same business, you are different.
Everybody is. Go visit 2 different fast food franchises of the same brand and you will notice some differences. One will be better than the other. It may be cleaner. It may have better parking or easier access. It may have more polite, well-groomed employees. The food might even be hotter at one versus the other. One might put napkins in your bag while the other one leaves them out.
If the most routinely run businesses on the planet – fast food joints – can be different among their own ranks, then I shouldn’t have to work too hard to persuade you that any business can stand apart from the competition.
Your story is your story. Nobody has an identical story. Embrace the differences in your story. What are the compelling differences between you and your competition? Don’t shy away from them. Run toward them. It’s the best way to attract people who will find you compelling. It’s also a great way to avoid attracting people who would never buy from you. It’s a marketing victory without causalities because everybody wins.
2. Focus on where your differences can be positively amplified.
Neil Patel has his own style and personality. But so do others. I happen to like his style. He’s straight-forward, confident, but likable. Others might totally disagree with me though and they’d likely toss out the name of somebody else when it comes to experts on generating online traffic.
Neil communicates in a unique way. For starters, he produces a ton of content. I’m on his list and I’ll admit I don’t always check out the daily updates made on his site. He has guests who post content on his site and it’s a very steady stream of up-to-date information delivered via what he calls The Daily Egg. Yep, it’s daily!
What makes you different? Embrace that and amplify it. Too many people think they should try to be something they’re not so they can appeal to more people. Unfortunately, it can make you appealing to nobody.
IBM used to require all sales reps to wear white shirts. It was the dress code. Oh, and no facial hair was allowed. The logic made sense at the time, offend no one. IBM wanted their sales reps to appeal to everybody.
But what if you liked guys who wore pink shirts with black bow ties? Well, you weren’t going to buy from IBM because they didn’t have anybody like that.
What if you were a Harley riding CEO with a beard? Nobody at IBM would ever call on you who looked like you. In fact, you likely found it hard to relate to anybody at IBM at the time.
Are you the buttoned-down, corporate type? Is that how you feel most comfortable? Then concentrate on that. Go with it. Play it up. Go larger than life with it and you’ll attract other people who feel like you do. Birds of a feather and all that.
Are you a blue jean, flannel shirt type? Don’t visit Brooks Brothers in an effort to be somebody you’re not. Be the blue jean, flannel shirt wearing guy and you’ll find other people who would never welcome a suit into their office.
When you amplify qualities that others can find positive, then you’ll necessarily put putting yourself out there in ways that aren’t pleasing to others.
To be loved by some you must be willing to be hated by others. Your style matters. Be true to it.
3. Start, but never finish.
If you don’t have a website, blog, YouTube channel or podcast – don’t sweat it. And stop worrying about being on Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.
Too many of you are defeated before you ever start because mentally you’re already drowning. Your feet aren’t even wet. You’ve let yourself become overwhelmed simply by thinking about all this stuff. Stop it!
NOTE: Get a website up and running now. You can get a website up and running with little effort. For now, just go register a domain name. Pick a domain that is identical to your company name, if it’s available. My business name is Bula Network, LLC. So, my domain here is BulaNetwork.com. Get a dot com domain. There are dot net and plenty of other suffixes, but get a dot com if it’s available. I’m assuming you’ve got an existing website though so let’s keep going with this third and final point…
If your website is just an online billboard you’re missing an opportunity to stand apart from the crowd. Think of it as the difference in looking at a cardboard stand up of you versus having you in real life. A static billboard type website hasn’t got your personality. Most don’t have any personality. How are people going to get to know you? How are you going to stand apart from the crowd?
Don’t tell me because you serve customers better. Or because your stuff is better. Or because your price is lower. You’re just like everybody else. You’ve got to give me more.
Start sharing. Start telling people more about who you are and what you do – and how you do it. Start telling people your own story. Why do you do what you do? Why are you in this business? Put it out there. Not everybody will be interested in every detail of your life, but some people will. And in sharing these details you’ll begin to attract people who are looking for somebody like you. You’ll also get more accomplished at telling your story. Like any other endeavor, you’ll get better the more you do it.
The good news is you can start right now. The bad news is you’ll never be finished.
Think of your family. Do you guys talk very much? Why? Don’t they already know you? Why are you talking to them today?
What about your prospects or customers? Yeah, you were right to think you don’t have to talk to them. Who’s got time to sell their stuff by sharing valuable information? Or by telling people their story so people can figure out if they want to do business?
By now, I hope it’s as visible as that red ball. So get out there and as Chevy Chase said in Caddyshack, “Be the ball!”
A grown man tells me, “My father never said, ‘I love you.'”
“Really? Never?” I reply.
“Never,” he says.
The pain in his eyes is real. And evident.
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
Williams James is credited with that quote. I don’t know who he was, but he was wise.
Recognition. Appreciation. Respect. We all want it. No, Mr. James was right – we crave it!
Why is it so difficult to incorporate into our communication? Why is it hard for a father to tell a son that he loves him?
I don’t know, but I do know it’s inexcusable.
Business people neglect many facets of effective of communication, but perhaps chief among them is the art of showing appreciation.
I know a business man – very successful financially – who believes it’s his job to “catch people making mistakes.” He’s very good at it, too. No, he won’t ever tell anybody they’re doing a good job. His success is the problem. His crude, deliberate berating of people works. Convincing him that even greater success might be his if he’d learn to behave differently is an impossible task.
I’m sad for him. And others like him.
As business people we have internal and external customers. It’s important to communicate our appreciation to all them. Simple, inexpensive and seemingly easy – but it remains one of the most neglected form of business communication.
I challenge you to set about changing that in your life – in business and in your personal life!
The credibility of an outside voice can grow our business
The value of an outside voice can mean a couple of things.
One, it can mean the objective appraisal of how we’re doing. “Hey, can you tell me what you think of this?”
The other can mean the value of having somebody else tell our story. It can be in the form of a recommendation. These can be very personal where we tell our next door neighbor about this great experience we had when we bought a new car, a new backyard grill, or a new pair of shoes. It can be far less personal, but equally powerful in the form of an Amazon review where complete strangers read what we say and put stock in it.
Businesses have long sought after having loyal customers who will tell everybody they know. Faithful, happy customers are the most effective sales teams. From casual conversations with all their friends to passing along our business card, loyal customers help evangelize our business.
The Internet affords us multiple ways to get the word out about our business. The value of an outside voice now has some new meanings. It’s commonly called “content marketing.” That simply means we try to make meaningful connections with prospects and customers by giving them valuable information. There’s nothing new about it really. Sales has historically been all about educating, answering questions and providing free information.
When I was a teenager working in a stereo shop, people would come in everyday seeking information as they navigated the prospect of purchasing stereo equipment. “What makes those speakers $200 more expensive?” Shoppers had questions. Lots of questions. A big part of my job was to answer their questions while I guided them through the process of making the most of their stereo buying dollar!
Back then my value as an outside voice was limited to people who walked into the stereo shop, or people who may have called on the phone. Today, we can all tell our story and have it broadcast 24/7/365 via the Internet.
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