Personal Development

Episode 149 – Some Keys To Effectively Giving And Receiving Criticism

Communication, Leadership, Personal Development, Podcast / By

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Prickly is ineffective

‘Tis better to give than receive.

When it comes to criticism, it’s certainly easier to give than to receive. But I don’t think it’s always better.

Truth is, we all need correction, feedback and criticism. I don’t usually use the phrase “constructive criticism.” I think all criticism should be constructive. Otherwise, it’s not really criticism. It’s just being critical. They are not the same thing.

I’m often asked for my opinion (criticism). I work hard to put a few things up front in each case:

1. What’s the purpose here? What are we trying to accomplish?
2. Here are my biases, up front.
3. I’m not going to make the decision for you because that’s not my place.
4. Let’s consider worse-case scenarios. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Intention is a major component of effective criticism. Do you care enough to help the person you are criticizing…or are you just being critical? Does the person helping you with criticism care about you improving…or they just being critical? Our motive behind criticism is fundamental to our ability to give it and to take it.

And today’s show ends with a discussion about the biggest question of all.

Who are you to tell me?

The context of our relationship matters. The wrong person can deliver the right message, in exactly the appropriate way…and it’ll be lost.

What do you think? What have you found that works in giving or accepting effective criticism?

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Happy Thanksgiving!

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Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into your Comfortable Life by Jeff Goins (A Review)

Personal Development / By

Buy the book in any format you like. Jeff narrates the audiobook himself.

Jeff Goins tells a compelling story.

Wrecked isn’t the story of a life destroyed by drug abuse or immoral living. It’s not a prodigal son story. It’s the story of self-discovery by seeing outside oneself.

Jeff walks us through occasions when his comfortable life crashed into a broken world. It will provoke you to think of those times when your comfortable life has been disrupted by somebody else’s broken world.

Right off the bat I was reminded of a website that I faithfully followed for a few years. The Snowsuit Effort. It was an interesting photoblog by Ryan Keberly. Ryan took photos of homeless people living on the streets of Detroit. The last image was posted back in February of 2007. It was a unique project, not because the photos were of the homeless…but because the photos were so personal. Ryan got up close to these people. He talked with them and posted brief quotes or comments about them. These pictures weren’t taken with a long-range lens from a comfortable distance. Neither are the stories Jeff tells in Wrecked. That’s how a broken world slams into your comfortable life. It happens up close and personal. It’s macro lens work.

Buy the book. If you purchase the audio version (ChristianAudio.com) you’ll get to hear Jeff read his own story. Subscribe to his blog, too. You’ll be rewarded with well-crafted writing.

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The Leaves Are Changing, So Why Shouldn’t You?

Entrepreneurship, Personal Development / By
It’s time to change and make the course of your life more scenic

You should. You absolutely should.

It’s there. In the back of your mind.

That idea. That urge. That gnawing feeling.

Answer the call. Right now.

Turn your idea into action. So what if it’s not the perfect? It doesn’t even matter if it works out very well or not…as long as you’re not betting the farm.

It’s Fall. Time to change colors. Time to leave the comfort of the past and embrace that chill of uncomfortableness.

Here’s the challenge. There are 3 weeks left in November. Why not use the next 3 weeks (you’ve heard it takes 21 days to form a new habit…let’s see if that’s for real) to do something extraordinarily different.

What would happen if – for the next 3 weeks – you did things just the opposite of what you’ve been doing? If what you’ve been doing is working out with awesome success, forget this challenge. Keep the momentum going. Oh, that’s not happening for you? Then, what have you got to lose?

Me? I’m going to make some major changes in the next 3 weeks. I recorded it in this week’s video to the folks Inside The Yellow Studio.

What are you going to do with the rest of November?

 

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I’ve Got Hundreds Of Followers, But I Lost My Wife To Her iPhone

Communication, Personal Development, Video / By

A little boy wants his mom to come outside and watch him do a trick on his bike.

In high school, he wants her to watch him play ball, but what he really wants is to impress a girl.

In college, mom has fallen off the radar, but there is a girl. He’s desperate for her to pay him some attention.

Marriage doesn’t change any of that.

He wants his wife to pay attention, but unfortunately, his tricks may no longer be worth watching. Much.

From our childhood to the grave we’re all craving attention. It’s the stuff of building relationships.

Not just at home, but at work. In our social circles. Even online. Only the lonely know the way I feel.

Years ago my wife and I stepped out one evening to grab a bite to eat. Across the way was an older couple. Yeah, even older than us!

They were already sitting down when we walked in. We were there for just under an hour. The entire time – and I mean, the ENTIRE time – she was on her cell phone talking while her husband sat in silence.

Their food arrived and she ate while holding the cell phone to her ear. Quietly, her husband ate his meal while she was apparently fully engaged with whomever was on the other end of the line. As they exited the restaurant, she was still talking on the phone, leading the way out the door, with her husband quietly in tow. My wife and I marveled at it and wondered a few things. Who was she talking to? What kind of cell phone plan did she have? Serious questions.

I was reminded of a John Prine song with these lyrics, “How the h-ll can a man leave home in morning, come home in the evening, and have nothin’ to say?” (You’ve likely heard the Bonnie Raitt version, but John wrote it)

It’s now very common among people of all ages. It happens in restaurants. It happens at the table in our own homes. Electronic connections have disconnected us physically.

It’s getting tough out here though. Much tougher than it used to be. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate what we’re doing…and more importantly, what we’re failing to do.

Meanwhile, in my ears ring the lyrics to Angel From Montgomery.

P.S. No, I didn’t lose my wife to her iPhone, but I do often have to compete with Words-With-Friends. 😉

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