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January 12, 2012 around 11 o’clock in the morning. Epiphany time. They don’t happen often. When they do you have to make note of them. Well, you don’t have to, but it’s a fun thing to do.

Thirty seven years earlier, to the month, I entered my first college classroom. Already armed with a few years of selling experience, business never entered my mind as a career choice. Instead, my love of electronics deluded me into thinking electrical engineering might be a worthwhile course of study. I couldn’t have been wronger.

A few frustrating years in the engineering curriculum resulted in hours, days and months of introspection. I was 19 years old and had two things on my mind. A girl I’d been dating for two years and figuring out this college thing. In that order.

Introspection resulted in two decisions. One infinitely more important than the other. More life-changing.

There was a girl in Texas who I’d been writing to daily for 2 years. She was the one. Thankfully, she felt the same way about me. The idea of getting married entered the conversation. She worked. And went to school. I worked. And went to school. Neither of us was rich, but we knew we could launch a life together. It was be another year before we’d gather with friends and family in the church building where we now worship. That was over 36 years ago.

But there was another decision I made when I was 19. Well, maybe it wasn’t so much a decision as a realization. I hated math. Try getting an engineering degree when you hate and suck at math. Somebody else might be able to do that, but I sure couldn’t. Fact is, I couldn’t get past calculus. Finding what you don’t want is often as profitable any discovery you can make.

Introspection involves turning back the clock and hitting the replay button on your life. What have I done? What have I enjoyed? What am I good at? What am I really bad at? What do I hate? Questions filled my head and my journals.

Math was a subject I enjoyed until an 8th grade teacher made it all go south for me. Mrs. Name-Withheld-To-Protect-The-Guilty did me an injustice or a favor. I’m not sure which. But math never was the same for me after sitting in her class for a year.

No teacher ever lessened my love for art, writing or speaking. And were it not for teachers who insisted that specific dates were the most interesting focal points in history, my love for that subject would have never wavered. Never underestimate the power of a teacher to fuel or destroy a passion. Who knew I would father two future educators driven to make a positive difference in the lives of young people?

Writing, history, speech, art, social sciences, psychology – these were the school subjects that always held my interest. As a teenager my private study mostly consisted of reading and reviewing stereo gear information. The technology interested me, but it was mostly a means to an end – killer music. That love affair with music and stereo gear is what lead me to think the pursuit of an electrical engineering degree might be the way to go.

I had earned thousands of dollars as a hi-fi sales guy at a local stereo shop. Straight commission. No guarantee. No benefits, unless you counted an employee discount as a benefit. And I did.

Selling hi-fi gear was not hard. It was fun. Success required hard work, but it didn’t really seem like work. I enjoyed the products and what people got out of them. Mostly, great music.

I can’t be sure, but I think the first business book I ever read was How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling by Frank Bettger. That’s assuming you don’t count How To Win Friends And Influence People as a business book.

I never took a single business course in college. It never dawned on me to change my major from engineering to business. What did occur to me was the obvious, or so I thought – journalism. Specifically, broadcast journalism.

I enjoyed writing. Unlike most, I had written a lot. I wrote letters to my girlfriend. I wrote letters to other friends. I wrote in notebooks. I wrote during class. I always wrote like I spoke. What better natural aptitude for broadcast (or spoken word) journalism? Match that up with rock solid reading habits, good study skills for subjects that interest me plus a heightened curiosity…it seemed a good fit.

Never mind that I had no intention of using it in the real world. College wasn’t about the real world for me except that my folks believed a diploma was the path to real world success. Most parents believed that. I never thought much about it really because I was not chasing some professional degree. Buddies were chasing degrees in engineering, architecture, geology, pre-law and pre-med. Those paths seemed logical and predictable. Mine didn’t.

Fast forward because the story is already too long. My grade point average soared after leaving engineering. Just more proof that I had done the right thing. Most times I didn’t get much proof. At least not for a long time. But this shift in my performance happened almost immediately with visible results. Hold that thought, because it’s important to the story. And it’ll be among the most valuable things you can learn. When is the last time you got almost instant positive feedback?

I’ve talked with a few people during my lifetime who admitted that when they stumbled into a certain group of people, they just felt “at home.” I voice over actor once told me that when she first stumbled into that craft and met other voice actors, she immediately said, “These are my people.” Has that ever happened to you?

The closest I can think of in my life was admission into the LSU School of Journalism. It just felt right. It was work, but it didn’t seem like work.

Two years ago, almost to the day, I realized that I need to find my element – my niche. I need to find the place where I can say, “These are my people.” So I began, in earnest, to find that place. I’m still working on it, but I think I’m dangerously close because it’s still about writing and telling stories.

Maybe my epiphany can help you find your own.

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It’s about time to put a bow on 2013.

“Wrap it up, I’ll take it.”  -The Fabulous Thunderbirds

If we’re talking about 2013 (and we are), the question is, “Where are we gonna take it?”

Some people want to take it and flush it down the toilet. Others want to take it and replicate it.

Maybe you want to take it and run away from it. Or maybe you want to hang onto it and never let it go.

Many years ago an old business guy asked me, “Do you know why one business in a crappy location does well and another one in a great location has to close its doors?”

I was young and unsure what the answer was. I had some ideas, but I had no idea what answer he was fishing for. I said, “I’m not sure.”

“The successful business has a better manager,” he said.

That was over 30 years ago so I’ve had a long time to think about that conversation. It’s mostly true because leadership matters. It’s mostly true because a person can make a positive (or negative) difference. It’s mostly true because all of us do things that bring us the results we get. Not always, but mostly.

Putting A Bow On 2013, Personal Leadership & Doing Right By Yourself

Personal leadership.

Question: Would that lead duck do the same thing even if his quack-mates weren’t following?

He would if he was watching out for himself and doing right by himself. That means, if he cares about his own welfare, he’ll do the right thing. Does the weight of the followers compel him to make decisions he might not otherwise make? Likely. Leadership does bring responsibilities.

If that lead duck doesn’t act and do the things that will profit his own life and the life of his followers, then he’s not much of a leader. It’s not merely self-interest. It’s wisdom.

That’s what I wish for all of us — personal leadership manifested in our wisdom to lead our own lives, figure things out and make the new year everything we want it to be. There’s no guarantees…other than the guarantee that you won’t reach your goals if you don’t try. So, try hard, then try harder.

It’s not about entrepreneurship.

You’d think building your own business is the only path to success. Carol Roth wrote about book about it in 2011, “The Entrepreneur’s Equation.” Ms. Roth articulated brilliantly what many business people have argued for years. Starting and owning a business isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. Stop listening to the biz opp (business opportunity, aka Internet marketing) crowd. Roth correctly argues that we don’t expect everybody to be a professional athlete, or a surgeon, or an attorney, or anything else. There is no single path to the proverbial good life. We each have to find or create our own way.

In 2013 I continued to encounter people who felt like misfits because they liked their work — they enjoyed their job! Heresy. I suspect right now too many people are reading too much, listening too much and being influenced to be discontented with a professional life that may suit them just fine. But everybody is telling them how awful it is to have a job and work “for the man.”

I’ve spent my entire life in business, but that’s not the only path. For many, it’s a terrible choice. And boy am I glad. Else we wouldn’t have music, art, film, entertainment, sports, medicine, science and a host of other things that improve the quality of our lives.

We all enjoy the benefits of good people doing good work. Some do remarkable work. I’m hoping more of them will take pride in it in 2014 and not be swayed by the noise of entrepreneurship. Besides, as Roth correctly points out. More businesses fail than succeed. FAR more.

Your personal brand is whatever you want it to be.

Build your platform. Create your own tribe. Assemble an audience. It sounds terrific. Who wouldn’t want that? Maybe you. Maybe your friends. There are plenty of people who prefer quieter lives devoted to doing good work, providing for their family, helping their friends and having a good life that may differ from the stereotypical “good life.”

That’s a personal brand. The rock solid employee who is reputable, reliable and competent has crafted a positive platform.

It’s a personal brand. The 6-figure celebrity public speaker who has global recognition. It’s a platform.

“That’s not what he wants,” is the argument against the humble lifestyle. But that’s a bias that presupposes that everybody wants what we want. They don’t. It also presupposes the myth that any of us can be whatever we want. “You can do whatever you put your mind to,” is among the biggest lies of all.

Dirty Harry said it best, “A man’s gotta know his limitations.” Not enough people know that. Some of us clearly focus too much on our limitations and not enough on our strengths. No matter, we can all use our talents and craft a personal life – and a life – that suits us well.

These are my people.

I was talking with Bettye Zoller, a veteran voice actress in Dallas. It was an interview I was recording for a new project, ChasingDFWCool.com.

During our conversation she recalled first finding out about this craft of voice acting. She said very quickly she felt at home. “These are my people,” she told me.

Sir Ken Robinson calls that the same thing he titled his last book, “Finding Your Element.” Have you found your element? Not somebody else’s element…your own?

Maybe you spent 2013 trying to fit in the element somebody else told you was the way to go. And maybe you were miserable. Stop it. Step away from the noise of the maddening crowd and find your own path. Look for the life – and the people – who fit you better. Hopefully, with some effort, you’ll find a crowd you instantly recognize as being “your people.” A place and a crowd where you fit right in. Your element.

I don’t know what that looks like for you. Or what it might feel like. Truth is, I have my own days where I’m unsure of what it looks like for me!

It remains the epiphany worth searching for. If you found yours already, be thankful. Embrace it. Push forward.

If you’ve not yet found yours, keep looking. Keep trying things. Examine yourself. Discover your strengths. Soar with those. Don’t over-estimate your weaknesses and don’t under-estimate your strengths.

I hope 2014 is the year you find your element.